This Mary's Room discussion may not be the exact topic I'm looking for, but it references the sorts of things I'm interested in.

So, it seems our choices are:

Qualia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qualia

The term qualia derives from the Latin neuter plural form (qualia) of the Latin adjective quālis (Latin pronunciation: [ˈkʷaːlɪs]) meaning "of what sort" or "of what kind" in a specific instance like "what it is like to taste a specific orange, this particular orange now". Examples of qualia include the perceived sensation of pain of a headache, the taste of wine, as well as the redness of an evening sky. As qualitative characters of sensation, qualia stand in contrast to "propositional attitudes",[1] where the focus is on beliefs about experience rather than what it is directly like to be experiencing.

Philosopher and cognitive scientist Daniel Dennett once suggested that qualia was "an unfamiliar term for something that could not be more familiar to each of us: the ways things seem to us"

Physicalism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physicalism

In philosophy, physicalism is the ontological thesis that "everything is physical", that there is "nothing over and above" the physical,[1] or that everything supervenes on the physical.[2] Physicalism is a form of ontological monism—a "one substance" view of the nature of reality as opposed to a "two-substance" (dualism) or "many-substance" (pluralism) view. Both the definition of "physical" and the meaning of physicalism have been debated.

Epiphenomenalism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epiphenomenalism

Physicalism x -1 -->

Pluralism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluralism_(philosophy)

Pluralism is a term used in philosophy, meaning "doctrine of multiplicity", often used in opposition to Monism ("doctrine of unity") and Dualism ("doctrine of duality"). The term has different meanings in metaphysics, ontology, epistemology and logic. In metaphysics, Pluralism is the doctrine that - contrary to the assertions of Monism and Dualism - there are in fact many different substances in Nature that constitute Reality.

--> Substance Theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substance_theory

Substance theory, or substance attribute theory, is an ontological theory about objecthood, positing that a substance is distinct from its properties. A thing-in-itself is a property-bearer that must be distinguished from the properties it bears.[1]

--> Thing-in-itself https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thing-in-itself

Kant argued the sum of all objects, the empirical world, is a complex of appearances whose existence and connection occur only in our representations.[2] Kant introduces the thing-in-itself as follows: And we indeed, rightly considering objects of sense as mere appearances, confess thereby that they are based upon a thing in itself, though we know not this thing as it is in itself, but only know its appearances, viz., the way in which our senses are affected by this unknown something.

It's very easy for someone in no background in philosophy to get lost in a rabbit hole of interesting definitions, and then along the way you completely forget why you're doing this in the first place.

So, let's start over from a different angle...

Love https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

Love encompasses a variety of different emotional and mental states, typically strongly and positively experienced, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.[1][2] An example of this range of meanings is that the love of a mother differs from the love of a spouse differs from the love of food. Most commonly, love refers to a feeling of strong attraction and emotional attachment.[3] Love can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection, as "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".[4] It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.[5]

Alexithymia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia

Alexithymia /ˌeɪlɛksəˈθaɪmiə/ is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self.[1] The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating.[2] Furthermore, people with alexithymia have difficulty in distinguishing and appreciating the emotions of others, which is thought to lead to unempathic and ineffective emotional responding.[2] Alexithymia occurs in approximately 10% of the population and can occur with a number of psychiatric conditions.[3]

Frisson https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frisson

Frisson (French for 'shiver') is a sensation somewhat like shivering, usually caused by stimuli other than cold. It is typically expressed as an overwhelming emotional response combined with piloerection (goosebumps). Stimuli that produce a response are specific to the individual.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/201...

Listening to emotionally moving music is the most common trigger of frisson, but some feel it while looking at beautiful artwork, watching a particularly moving scene in a movie, or having physical contact with another person. Studies have shown that roughly two-thirds of the population feels frisson.

Where I'm going from here is basically, "So what?".

Roughly, the important idea I'm trying to get at is: what is the significance of all these ideas. Frisson is a particularly interesting phenomenon, in that different people feel it in response to very different things, and some people literally can't feel it at all!

Now take love....very similar phenomenon, but even more powerful, by far. Also, it is experienced vastly differently by (and, like Frisson, not felt by everyone).

So what?

Well, I think all of this is fundamental to the human experience, but more importantly, it is a fundamental root cause of why people can't get along (and recently, really really really can't get along).

So what?

Well, I wonder if maybe we can go a long way to fixing this problem of societal disunity if these ideas could somehow be summarized and effectively communicated to people. I think lots of people would be understanding/accepting of the premise, and lots wouldn't. Some would be hostile in various ways, and for various reasons (some honest and understandable, some evil). Of those who understand and appreciate the principle though, how many would "really get it". Sure, they could appreciate on an intellectual level, but "really getting it" is on the level of frisson and love. Is there a way to get people to that higher level? Why yes....yes there is.

I am going to push save now in case someone is still here and sees where I'm going with all this, and may know of any resources along this same theme.

To be continued....