>> If a kid doesn't want to do it,

> How can this even be an argument.

I mentioned it because if my child wants to do their homework then all problems go away. The ultimate goal is that my child will want to do their homework; I'm obviously not going to monitor their homework once they are in college.

>> and the person assigning it doesn't care if they do it

> They do obviously since you have negative feedback from the teachers about undone homework.

Let me tell you an analogous story from my work: Another engineer tells me they have an urgent problem they need solved. Every time they ask me about it they stress how urgent it is. However, when I ask for clarification or more information, it takes them several work days, and sometimes several reminders for them to get back to me. I ran into them a few weeks after the issue was resolved and asked them how it went. They respond that they haven't done any testing of it yet.

Was the problem really urgent for them? After all, they did tell me many times how urgent it was.

> Also as a parent shouldn't you care if they do it?

I want my child to be successful. Doing homework is a very important part of that. However, as I said earlier the goal is that when they are older they will choose to do that. I do not believe that standing behind my child for 3 hours a night 5 days a week making sure they stay on-task is an effective way of achieving that goal (not to mention that with 4 children it would take up 6 hours each of my time and my wife's time).

My parents were incredibly strict about homework. The day I left the house I stopped doing homework and I nearly flunked out of college. My wife's parents were far less strict about homework and she graduated college in 3 years.

It seems to be working with my kids too. My oldest is a 5th grader and recently had a research paper due. She gathered her materials and then procrastinated. She was obviously embarrassed when she asked to stay up late to work on it, which to me is a sign that she understands it's her responsibility to get it done.

>> I don't think it's okay to disrespect teachers

> Then why can she be obnoxious in class, complain about it at home and still nothing happens?

I never said nothing happens. In this specific case I had her collate worksheets for the teacher before school one morning. I find it absurd that I had to be the one to correct a behavior that had been going on in the classroom for 5 days.

> Do you meet regularily with the teachers?

In general 4 times a year (there's a quarter system here). For this specific case, I volunteered in the classroom for an hour a week, so I saw the teacher a lot (it's also how I know that she had zero control over the classroom). The teacher never informed me of my daughter's behavior, nor the threat of detention.

> Or communicate with them about how you wished they would enforce punitions?

Yes. Some listen, others ignore me (My wife has been told she's wrong, perhaps a bit of casual sexism there, but I never been contradicted, just ignored by the teachers that tell my wife she's wrong).

> Or at the very least tell them how you learned about how your child is doing X (why do you even learn it from her, isn't there supposed to be feedback every trimester or such ?) which sucks, is unappropriate and which you've discussed with her, etc...

Yes, I've done all these things (and it's quarters rather than trimesters where I live).