(I really hope you still read this, because I didn't see your reply until five days later, sorry)

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I wish you all the strength. Hugs.

Good to hear you're avoiding addiction so far, it will sap your resolve like nothing else. Please also remember that alcohol is a terrible addictive hard drug that will drag you down just as easily as the illegal drugs would (in particular as soon as you use it for escape, like you describe). It's basically an unnecessary extra fight you have to fight in addition to all the other shit. I'm actually struggling with that a little myself, but the social help I can get here (as well as a super supportive family/parents), gives me relief and space needed to battle that too.

Even with proper social support, mental health problems are super hard. Other people [including gov help] can't fight the fight in your head for you, just point one in the right direction, provide motivation, and perhaps take other weights off your shoulders.

Sorry, I just read back your post and your problems are physical. The following advice remains the same.

You may be able to find people that want to help. Just random good people are out there. But even if you find people willing/able to do that for you, it's a difficult and humbling search to find out how exactly they can unburden you without it actually costing you just as much energy. If there are people willing to help you, think very hard and make a good and clear plan. Be clear how exactly they can help you, especially the little things, that may be super easy for others and hard for you. You need to tell them explicitly and without shame. One other thing that is important is if you know a generous angel, is to discuss how often you need this help. Maybe your neighbour will help you with groceries or taking out the trash (or whatever), but if you actually depend on that help, while they're just happy to help out their neighbour this one time, you'll be expending as much energy finding someone to help you this week, and the next. I get that it's hard to ask someone offering help to help you even more, but if you understand what I'm saying you will be able to explain. Ask them to be honest and only offer you time they are comfortable with (and without regretting it after a while). Maybe they'll tell you they can realistically help you take out the trash once a month. That's cool, because that's one out of four weeks. But now you know someone you can depend on, you know what you're asking is not too much for them, you can feel better about getting the help, knowing this is what they're comfortable with. I'm not saying you should refuse one-time help, but that it's important to have this discussion (openly) so you know when (or if) you can depend on them again.

The above is a piece of advice I got from a magazine that people in my country (Netherlands) receive when they are on long-term disability benefits (called "UWV Perspectief", for any Dutch still reading along). It's a great magazine (beautiful design and typography too :p), even if I find it hard to read because it's kind of confronting, I'm kind of amazed that this thing exists.

I am so incredibly thankful for this aspect of my country. I'll be forever in its debt. I try to repay as much as I can by doing volunteer work, teaching kids programming and computer stuff, helping them studying for math tests (and just being a kind person to them--the place where I work has a social function for kids with difficult backgrounds too). That way I'm using the things that I learned studying Computational Science, all that knowledge I can't use in a "proper" (paying) job, because I can only do it for 10 hours per week (I need the other time mostly to rest, and keep my apartment in order, administrative stuff, laundry etc, which is equally taxing for me). It gives me meaning and feel I'm contributing to society (maybe even more than some paying jobs that people do; but that's a very personal opinion and I'm in no position to be on a high horse).

I really hope that you pull through in some way or another, and find a way to live with ease.