>I'm sorry for all the pains you have been through.

That is very kind of you, and I can say very few people say this when I have mentioned any of what I have gone through. It reminds me to do the same for others. Thank you.

>I'm not really trying to argue with you.

A problem with written communication..., I didn't think you were, and I am not trying to be combative in return. It's too bad this is too easy to assume, in both directions. I appreciate the statement.

>...accept that people who are different to you might see everything, including your words, differently

Is it even possible for anyone to read anyone's words and get the same meaning? After years of communication, failures and successes (I have taught at college level as well) I have found it utterly futile to attempt to try to communicate with everyone.

It's not physically possible. The phrase "word to the wise" encapsulates this understanding, some words are just not for everyone. And to say they should be is an unreasonable expectation.

>By oversimplifying, I mean simplifying so much that essential steps are omitted, thus the simplification becomes untrue.

There is no such things as oversimplification, if your goal is to simplify something to it's essence. Then you've achieved your goal. And that was my goal.

I have found that everyone is different (an argument I think you would agree with) and no solution is universal to everyone. So the actual "essential steps" you refer to, aren't actually the same for everyone. But the beginning is. To decide, and then to act. What to decide and how to act is different for everyone, but you must start.

How can you disagree with the need to start if you want to change anything? This is only an oversimplification if you think I am saying more than I am.

But getting started, in my experience is 80% (made up number) of the work. Why? Because by measure of difficulty, it's the hardest thing to do.

Why castigate what is a universal truth, utter simplistic, just because I don't add more to it? I have read dozens of self-help books over the years, and it didn't matter what they taught if I didn't start doing anything.

Also, if you start, fail, and start again, and keep doing that over and over, that by definition is follow through. So just start.

>Just that people who currently don't have the resolve to follow through on what they need to do, and can't see all the reasons, need to know that that is a part of what depression feels like.

They don't need follow through, they just need to start doing something. One tiny, itty bit of success of any kind is more than they have had in the past. How can you dismiss success, no matter how small? If they fail, maybe they feel bad, maybe they will start again sometime, and if they keep doing that, after awhile, who knows? But to not start ever because of preconceived notions? How is that going to help anyone?

I know what depression feels like, it feels like everything is hopeless, and nothing will work. The only way out is to just try something, even if you don't think it will work, and then one day it does. And the beginning of a new life starts at a very minute level. A tiny, tiny seed of hope.

>And they are not to blame for having nothing in the tank right then.

Neither of us has blamed anyone for anything. Why bring this up and imply I have blamed someone?

If I was going to blame anyone it would be people that either have no experience with depression, or are depressed themselves telling other depressed people they can't help themselves.

>You need choice, motivation, determination/trying hard and opportunity - either some spiritual fuel, a break in the fog, a close call that scares you, maybe the right medication or therapy, or just random luck, whatever it is that gives you a foothold and a little bit of light.

Or a comment on the internet that strikes you the right way? You can't expect anything more from a message board like this, can you?

>You need to know that this opportunity is coming, eventually, and you can get yourself out. That clear moment in time you talk about can't be forced through deciding things.

Not all the time, but sometimes it can. And what I found with depression is your heart deceives you. On days when you are down, the reality is most likely everything is fine. So I found that reminding myself of what reality is helped me ignore my sadness and get moving. Depression saps of the ability to act, and there are myriad of ways to get yourself to act. Everyone is different, and everyone will have a different way of getting themselves to start moving, even when they don't want to.

You have to have something to hold onto that is solid and unmoveable when you are in an imaginary despair. Seeing people in actual despair helped me deal with this by saying to myself, "you're fine, you are still breathing, just get up." Someone else will say something else to themselves, this is a minor detail. But either way, you have to start doing something.

>Anyhoo, I hope I have managed to be clear enough about why I think your post is not effective as advice,...

I can see it was not effective to you, but can you provide actual proof that not a single person got anything from it? There are quite a few upvotes. I don't know what they mean, but I suspect other people disagree with you, not just me.

>...and potentially harmful

Here's the crux of your comments to me. Please demonstrate to me how I could harm people by telling them they can change their lives. To make a decision. To start something. To seek an answer. To find hope and not give up.

Depression can lead to death. I am sharing that you can turn things around, with real proof, and my own willingness to back up everything I have said. And to even remotely suggest that I could harm someone that is on the verge of killing themselves by saying "don't do it, there's hope", verges on insanity.

>https://twitter.com/andyrichter/status/931546890901925888

Andy Richter is responding to the claim that "depression is a choice" and he says in reply "Oh really? Well “go fuck yourself” is a directive."

Is depression a choice? No, I don't think so at all. I think the causes of depression are so varied as to be almost impossible to define. Everyone from homeless drug addicts to succesful CEOs can be depressed. But then I know for a fact that there are homeless drug addicts and CEOs that that are happy and not depressed. Why? Who knows.

But I know that I have seen homeless people overcome their depression and drug addiction and find hope and a future. Unless you are completely cured of depression, you can't see what is on the other side until you get there. Just like an alcoholic can't see what it's like to not drink anymore. So unless you have been completely depressed at the end of your rope, and then gotten to the point where you will never, ever consider suicide again, you can't see what those people see. I requires belief and acceptance that maybe what those people see is worth seeing yourself.

>You might just have a really strong conviction that you know best.

I said what worked for me. I have repeatedly acknowledge everyone is different and will have to do different things to change. And that there is a universal truth about change, that it starts at a single point in time with a decision followed by action.