You know, recently my wife and I (25 yo) bought our first house. For the most part, it's larger and nicer than the rest of my family members. I bought it because it was a great deal, and I needed a big house if I wanted to invite my large family over. Given it's about 2 hours away from where most of them live.

The first thing a couple family members said to us was, "you're so lucky!" And quite honestly just that infurates me. It's one of the most insulting phrases I think I've ever been told. I know they didn't mean it, and I actually questioned why I was so mad there for a while. Obviously, I didn't let the family member know, but later, my wife told me she was just as mad.

A bit of back story, my family was poor. I had to start working at 14 to pay for my clothes, sports, really anything. Now, I never went hungry and always had a home - so it wasn't the worst. We all pitched in, and it taught me a lot and made me tough. I literally pride myself that I kept a Pentium III computer until I was 19 going (aka 7 years or something).

In high school, I taught myself to program and worked odd jobs to make money. In college, I did the same. I went to junior college, worked 40 hours a week, then transferred to UIUC where I continued working 40 hours a week, and took a full course load. I graduated with a 3.1 GPA - cutting it as close as I could to keep a 3.0+ average, while still supporting myself. In the end, I still have $70k loans (In part, because I helped my now wife who was astranged from her parents, aka no student loans possible).

I've had so much bad luck I can't explain it here. Sure I didn't get cancer, but I have severe allergies, I have a learning disability [1], my wife and I had to fight in court with her crazy parents, so on and so forth.

Now, we are both living in a nice house. She's about to start her PhD in Neuroscience. I have a good job, and we are both starting a company (which makes some pocket change). Luck right?

The point is, I work hard 80 hours a week; my wife the same.

So fuck luck. We've earned it.

Things fall the way they do, we've had a hundred failures for every success, but the success is what counts. I'm not going to apologize for getting lucky, nor am I going to blame luck for failures. All you can do is constantly position yourself for success.

I've been in positions that benefit me, the best example is actually my teachers kicking me out of my "regular" course work in high school. They told me if I wanted to graduate I had to start in the honors courses. Is that luck? I definitely had teachers who cared, but it was what they saw that made it count. We (as in people) make our own luck, through our personalities, our perseverance, our ethic.

That family member who says "your so lucky" implies they don't understand how tough it can be. They either don't have the ethic, or have given up. Sure things can fall in your lap, but even then. Keep positioning to do better, else you increase the potential bad luck.

If for instance, I stopped after my teachers pushed me into honors courses, then I probably wouldn't have had any future luck, right? It's the perseverance and drive that keeps us going.

Articles like this, breed whiners and failures. What's the PG quote, "Startups rarely die in mid keystroke. So keep typing!"[2].

Make your own luck, and don't give up.

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[1] http://austingwalters.com/please-excuse-my-grammar/

[2] http://www.paulgraham.com/die.html