"The past 24 hours have been the darkest of my life."
- This is all about me, not the women. I've had a rough time and I want your sympathy.

"I have made many mistakes over the course of my career, some of which were brought to light this week."
- I'm probably a pathological predator but prefer to view my illness and/or poor character as a set of "mistakes" because that's easier on me than admitting I'm a piece of shit.

"To say I'm sorry about my behavior is a categorical understatement."
- I would acknowledge who I probably really am but I can't, if I even know.

"Still, I need to say it: I am so, so sorry."
- So I'll just say "I'm sorry" instead.

"I direct my apology first to those women who I've made feel uncomfortable in any way, at any time - but also to the greater tech ecosystem, a community that I have utterly failed."
- I did some really repulsive shit, but I don't want to say how repulsive, so let's just call it "making people feel uncomfortable." Also, I'm really bummed that so many people are getting mad at me.

"The power dynamic that exists in venture capital is despicably unfair."
- This isn't about me at all, guys. It's about The System. If I just start acknowledging and condemning structural violence, maybe I can get the focus of this off of me personally.

"The gap of influence between male venture capitalists and female entrepreneurs is frightening and I hate that my behavior played a role in perpetrating a gender-hostile environment."
- So let's talk about structural violence instead and how I'm just a cog in The System.

"It is outrageous and unethical for any person to leverage a position of power in exchange for sexual gain, it is clear to me now that that is exactly what I've done."
- We all sin, OK?

"I am deeply ashamed of my lack of self-awareness."
- If I had known everyone would get so fucking upset at me, I wouldn't have done those things. I hate it when people get mad at me.

"I am grateful to Niniane, Susan, Leiti, and the other women who spoke up for providing me with a sobering look into my own character and behavior that I can no longer ignore."
- I wish those women hadn't done that. I'm totally fucked now.

"The dynamic of this industry makes it hard to speak up, but this is the type of action that leads to progress and change, starting with me."
- But enough about me, let's talk about The System instead. That's the real problem. In fact, me being a piece of shit and it being brought to light is good for these women. I did them a favor! Don't you see?

"I will be taking an indefinite leave of absence from Binary Capital, the firm I co-founded in 2014."
- Like I said, I'm totally fucked now and my partners booted me out.

"I will be seeking professional counseling as I take steps to reflect on my behavior with and attitude towards women."
- My wife is so fucking pissed, you don't even know. We're probably getting divorced now, so thanks for that.

"I will find ways to learn from this difficult experience - and to help drive necessary changes in the broader venture community."
- I still don't really get what I did wrong, but since everyone is so mad at me, I guess I'd better try to figure out how to not make people mad at me again like that.

"The Binary team will also be taking measures to ensure that the firm is a safe place for founders of all backgrounds to find the support and resources they need to change the world, without abuse of power or mistreatment of any person."
- My partners are super pissed that I fucked their brand, and accordingly, their deal flow. Please don't take it out on them. They're not cool with what I did even though they probably knew about it.

"I owe a heartfelt apology to my family, my investors, my portfolio, and the team at Binary, who have been completely blindsided and in no way deserve the pain I've caused."
- I'm sorry I fucked everybody's shit up.