Very true.

My wife and I are lucky, in a way. She's Italian. Like, born Italian, speaks Italian, lives Italian. Okay, she lives in Montreal, but damnit, call her a Frenchy and she'll punch me hard enough in that spot on the arm that she knows will get a reaction.

Anyways, we live next door to her great-grandmother (nona), and below her Mother and Father. I swear, her sisters are over often enough that it's normal. Her older sister lived at home till she was 25/26 and got married. Only then did she move out. My wife did the same thing. For them, their entire culture, this is normal. Lawyers living at home with their parents, not batting an eye. This is normal.

Now, I'm American. 18, and I'm out the house, fending for myself. Seeing my cousins was something I did every few years (being a military brat didn't help, neither did parents getting a divorce).

My wife sees her cousins all the time. Weekly. Not all the cousins, but often enough that again, it's normal. It's not some super special event.

What's all this getting to? There is a point, I promise.

Anyways, we had our first son in 2008, and our second is due the end of the month, beginning of August (yay!). Raising our son has been a joy. Ignoring the fact that he is a very laid back and very happy child, having parents/grand parent next door and upstairs, and a very close knit family always present meant raising him wasn't difficult. Couple this with the fact that Quebec hands you a years paid maternity (if you are working, of course), and it's pretty smooth sailing. We could still go out occasionally, assured that the grandparents would take good care of our child.

If we assistance, we literally knocked on the wall, and they'd come over.

Oh, we did our part. We didn't rely on them. And they took advantage, too. When they needed to go to the market, my wife was able to take them instead of having to take the bus or walk. All very practical.

So, you ask a good question:
> I just can't imagine how grandma raised 9 kids with no ER or acute care and little money.

And I give you an answer: Family.

It's odd. My family loved me, they cared for me, but family to me before I met my wife was immediate. I didn't see grandparents but maybe one a year on Christmas or Thanksgiving. I grew up away from cousins, and at 18, expected to have to go out on my own.

My family wasn't bad. But in my wife's family, I fully realize how other cultures see family.

I look at my brother, living in the US, married, with a second child on the way. I won't go into to many details, but they are struggling, but they get very little support from family. They live almost 2 hours from my father, but rarely see him (compared to how often I see my wives family members), and they get little help from his wives family.

This probably comes from the American cultural of independence. You make it or break it on your own skill, and asking or getting help is seen as a weakness. Children are thrown to the wolves at 18 and expected to thrive. Some do. Many don't.

My son is happy. He makes his parents happy. He's constantly surrounded by people that love him. Parenting is a joy, and we are in a good place. Our biggest worries are silly when we think about them (seriously, we worry about the stupidest things, and laugh about them when we realize what we are worrying about).

I'm not religious, but that doesn't mean I can't feel blessed.