I was hired into my first cubicle around 1999, doing asp classic web dev. I've gone off on some side tangents here and there, but have more or less been building web apps using MS technologies to this day.

It's not them, it's you. Any problem you have is your problem and the solution is something you're going to have to do. Be it a compiler bug, deadlines blown through by partying interns, shoddy code written by contractors, insane deadlines imposed by self righteous VPs, etc. All of these problems are caused by you. You took these jobs. You fed the mice cookies. You didn't say no. You didn't spruce up your resume and blog on LinkedIn. You are the only person that is ever going to try to help yourself, so if you don't like what's going on, there is no where to look but inwards.

Every line of code is a devil, waiting to bait you. Every curious syntax, handy shortcut, convenient convention that only you and the few who read the docs will know about, is bait in a trap. It's better to write less code, simpler code, and code that eschews advanced features in favor of being obvious. Imagine yourself having not slept for 24hrs, being drunk, with a CRT monitor at 640x480, typing on a keyboard covered in elmer's gluge, and then write code you could debug that way.

In about 20yrs on the job I don't think I've ever seen a situation that truly called for more performance. I've seen bad processes that were too slow because they were bad, and I've seen inner loops that needed to be unrolled, and I've seen (written) code that was hitting the database in ways that were totally bonkers. Slowness is mostly about bad decisions earlier up in the decision tree. Unless you're writing trading algorithms or video games, you likely have no use for your program to run any faster.

Prefer bad working code over good code that still isn't producing any useful output.

Your choice and relationship with your spouse will have more of an impact on your career and long term happiness than anything in technology. Take care of home first. Then go to work.

You are going to need a few key side skills: public speaking, making small talk at parties, presenting to people above your pay grade, technical writing, etc. These are key differentiators that are more valuable than being able to write more or better code.

When you're feeling burned out, take a day or two off. If you aren't able to, or you do and it still doesn't help, then something deeper is wrong.

Cutting down on the drama of deploying and maintaining production software is just as important, maybe more, than fun during development. Yeah some languages are excrutiating to code in, but they run smooth, and that's worth a lot. And some languages are a lot of fun in the editor but a bitch on the server, avoid those.

Steal ruthlessly. Anybody who is doing anything cooler or better or faster than you, buy them lunch and ask them what they're up to. You don't have to follow in their footsteps, necessarily. But at least being familiar with other ways of accomplishing things really helps broaden your horizons when brainstorming or thinking about problems.

It's okay to take long breaks to do something else. You can always come back.

Make friends and stay connected. Your rolodex is your escape hatch if things get ugly.

You are a business. The product is yourself. You're the founder, CEO, president, etc. When you answer the phone, do so as the CEO of You, Inc. Ask yourself: if I was a business person, and one of my employees was representing my business to my customers the way I am doing now, would I fire that person, or promote them?

Knowing which rules are actually enforced and which rules are just for keeping chumps corralled can really help your navigate a bureaucracy.

Making friends with people who make and enforce rules can get you out of following a lot of those rules, or just provide back doors into the processes.

You pick your boss and at work that is likely one of the most important decisions you'll make. If you don't like them, find a new one.