Was that satire?

Security Problems: Android-specific

-- Android 5 was supposed to make encryption mandatory, but it killed performance, so they rolled that back. Android 6 was supposed to do it again, but if your phone isn't fast enough, or you are upgrading, again it isn't mandatory. My Android 6 phone didn't use encryption until I enabled a pin and biometrics.

-- Many of the old versions of Android that will never get patched are still in use, meaning many phones will never be secure. New malware attacks come out regularly because there's such a large market of old Android devices.

-- Only certain things are auto-updated, and holes which require a firmware patch seldom make it to the phone due to forking.

-- Vulnerabilities in chipsets happen every other year and make hundreds of millions of devices vulnerable at once, and require patches to travel the entire supply chain.

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Security Problems: Both iPhone and Android

-- Every year, more application-specific and privesc vulns are found in core phone software, compromising credentials and providing new opportunities to compound exploits. Browser exploits are notoriously effective.

-- Anyone who wants to use a useful feature of their phone on a carrier-branded device has to become superuser.

-- Ransomware isn't just for desktops anymore! Ransomware exists for both platforms that will lock your device and demand money to unlock it, or it will attempt to destroy data. How does it get in? The app store.

-- Don't want to ransom the user's data? Just silently steal their credentials, take over accounts, then sneak backdoors into the phone.

-- It's been shown that vendors and government organizations have their own service code that can run without user intervention. Also, Cheinah.

-- Call and SMS hijacking using SS7 are carrier-independent, and GSM providers that run vulnerable older encryption protocols allow calls and SMS to be intercepted. The NSA can process A5/1 encrypted GSM connections - thanks for the heads up, Snowden - and in general it's possible to force a weakened or unencrypted network connection. (If you have to use SMS two-factor, you should use a dedicated sim+number that no one knows about, so hopefully your phone is dual-sim to make that easy) And to add to the embarrassment, both iPhone and Android users have suffered DoS attacks just from being sent a single SMS.

-- If you do lose your phone, PINs, swipes, and biometric data can be recovered to unlock the phone. Studies have shown that credentials can be recovered from some phones even after a remote wipe procedure.

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What moving all your secure tokens to a phone costs you is a genuine sense of security. There's a wild wild west of an app market, phishing's easy, vulns are plentiful, there's tons of varying hardware and software platforms to find holes in, and everyone now thinks they're secure, but nobody actually secures them. If I'm a malware writer I'm definitely going to target phones.

I mean, consider that if they were really bulletproof secure, it wouldn't take years to certify an old, functionally handicapped version of a phone just for POTUS to use it. It's so difficult to make a secured smartphone that Trump was allowed to keep his Samsung Galaxy to tweet with on an unsecured wifi network.