It's very easy to see her point of view and I can see why you give it some respect. It's particularly easy for me to empathize with as I have been quite militant with girlfriends that they quit smoking [edit: cigarettes] if they want to be with me - while I wouldn't call the police on someone just to change their behavior I disagreed with, if she feels that this is in your interests (she views it similarly to starting to do heroin, etc) then it is very easy to see her view. it's not "crazy" or something, and she probably wants you to be the person she's always loved.

Actually I've since learned that such changes can't be external in nature but have to come from within.

The Internet generally gives horrible, horrible advice. I think your best bet is to make her feel like the idea is hers. But how to do that?

I don't know.

If you want to share her email (you can send her email address to the email address I list in my profile) I can send a letter like this:

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Hello,

I'm a fellow IT worker like your boyfriend. I don't have any pain problems or use any drugs of any kind. However, there was a recent discussion on opioids (which include many prescription medications) and your boyfriend mentioned the prescription drugs that he deals with for his pain. Because these are tightly controlled (for various reasons particularly due to being addictive), several of us wondered if he has used cannabis to deal with his pain. It is well-known that many people use it very well. It's not addictive (almost at all - you can do any quantity and quit overnight and a couple of days later be fine. Lots of people do this. It's not even like cigarettes or caffeine.) which is one of the reasons that even in states that legalized it, for a long time medical usage was allowed. I am sure you want a boyfriend who is not in pain, so I was curious if you wanted to talk about any of the reasons that you hold such a strong position against it? It is becoming legal in many places, has lax enforcement, and it sounds like it would improve his quality of life? By the way, I personally don't really like the legalization movement: I don't want companies to start advertising it, make profit on it, or even treating it like drug companies do (medical marijuana) which generally take money from everyone they can - Americans pay an obscene amount on health care. If this solution works for others and isn't addictive, what are the reasons you are against his trying it? I'd like to emphasize that I'm not a drug user at all and just an IT worker. I don't consider cannabis criminal the way other drugs are, regardless of the jurisdiction. Just so you know, your boyfriend is thinking that if his pain gets bad enough and he does not want to risk becoming addicted to prescription pain medication (which is highly addictive: see, Rush Limbaugh, who genuinely become addicted to prescription pain medicine and ended up arrested due to abuse of them: https://www.google.hu/search?q=rush+limbaugh+pain+medicine ) then it might come down to having to choose between you and a pain-free life. I don't think he should be forced to take addictive medication if everyday non-medication (like cannabis) works for people so well that many states allowed it for a long time before legalizing recreational use. I also think you can be reasonable about it, so I would just like to understand your reasoning about it better. I offered to ask you about it after he said that you certainly wouldn't change your mind. (And would probably report him to the police if he ever tried it, for whatever reason. That certainly seems extreme to me.) I appreciate any thoughts you might have on the subject. I'm sure you have good reasons for how you feel about the matter and I'd like to understand them. Thanks!