I have not had to overcome to a degree you appear to be facing.

Early in life, I was introverted, tech oriented and did not talk much.

Performing arts actually did me a lot of good. Long story, but I got into some productions due to parts being hard to fill. Massive stage fright and anxiety.

Got past it when I realized I was bad and any effort at all would be an improvement.

Cared less about what others thought, focused on good intent and protocols, charm basically.

For me, it became a sense of taking good care of others around me, including me. The including me part was the key.

When we are genuine about wanting communication to go better, we can treat everyone, including ourselves.

That began a long journey. Started by just making sure the basics were there and adopting role models.

This may seem awful shallow, but my grannie nailed it. If you want to live in a nice world, start with the person in the mirror.

Like attracts like. Consideration received is very often consideration given.

Over time, I found ways to express things that left others an out.

Example:

User skills assessment. Truth is, this is a project to find out who sucks and who could use help.

A third party can judge this, but it's all kind of negative.

Worse, we as people, users, are often asked to rate ourselves and who wants to figure out our suckage and communicate it in detail?

Today, I would frame all of that in terms of interest. "Rate your interest in these things..." And leave them an other, blank to fill in, if they want to.

Truth is, some people suck and are interested in help if they can get it without judgement, theirs or others.

Others are good, but just want more.

Still others are seeking, maybe curious, wanting to expand on their skill sets, do new things.

Removing judgement from my interactions, making sure there are outs for people has improved my communications and related skills (training) across the board.

Most of the anxiety I had is gone. I can always phrase it in a way that leaves the door wide open for others to respond as they feel makes sense.

And the intent behind that is all good. People need help, I can give it, they may want more, are seeking, or they may just have to somehow too.

Doing that work to improve and share has madever me more comfortable by making sure I'm not adding to others potential anxiety or overall comfort.

In business, avoiding these same things has been enlightening and in similar ways. What I found out is its often necessary to understand how others make their money better so that conversations can center on high value things and everyone is comfortable because there are no or very few judgements.

Just plastering on some warm fuzziness stands out. Your increased anxiety has clear cause. You aren't wrong in that.

Just start with small things. Thanking the cashier, complimenting someone without creep vibes, etc...

Really think about each one and where implied judgement or direct judgement is likely and phrase it in ways where they can see your intent.

Once they do, and you are hitting the mark for, most of your work and or business relationships should improve. They will return what you are giving and the much reduced sense of being judged should help with anxiety.

One last thing.

Anxiety of this kind and in social interactions generally boils down to being unsure what will happen.

Doing the work I describedid here should improve it all for you.

If you are unsure what will happen, include phrasing to insure a good outcome. Think it through so you have some discussion paths down cold.

And smile. That one will seem forced. It will be for a while too, but when coupled with this concept of being considerate and non judging, will end up natural.