Besides the privacy concerns being raised here, connected sex toys themselves fascinate me. Like a lot of IoT markets, it intuitively feels as if adding connectivity and intelligence to the products will benefit them in some way. And yet, also like a lot of IoT markets, this doesn't seem to be panning out.

The toys themselves are too primitive to be useful in general. They're too sluggish in their responses, and not sensitive enough. There's also little to no feedback on the control side.

The data collection side of things (privacy issues aside) is also not useful. Does the frequency with which you use a vibrator really going to inform your life? Sleep patterns, diet, exercise, etc. Those are all useful metrics. Certainly the amount you have sex is also a useful metric. But to be useful, you need to actually know how much you have sex, and need to have the ability to analyze that data alongside everything else. A tracked vibrator does not accomplish that, and there's no central app for analyzing all this data together (that I know of). A smart watch, on the other hand, _could_ track sexual activity, and already has the facilities for analyzing that data along with the other important metrics.

But there's still a market here, I feel, for when the right combination of technology shows up. About a year or two ago Internet controlled vibrators showed up on cam sites like Chaturbate. It started off as a novelty on a few cam shows, but today almost every show has them. It consists of a vibrator, either worn externally or internally, that vibrates with variable intensity based on tips given my customers of the show. So, you tip, it vibes. It's a means for customers to have more direct involvement in the show. It's an easy sell to tell someone "You know that hot girl? You can pay to give her pleasure." That's the sort of "right combination of technology" I'm talking about.

The next big innovation, I think, will come from an Internet connected, articulated Fleshlight-like product for men. Ya know, a Fleshlight that jacks you off. There's one product out there, but like most of these failed attempts, it sucks. It has the right "idea", but failed execution. It connects to your computer and you can then direct its movement either with a synced video or remote control by a cam show performer. That's a great idea! But the articulation needs to be better, with several nodes with at least two degrees of freedom (up-down, contract/relax). If you can make the device actually useful, it won't be hard to extract a hefty price on the device, and a hefty price on videos and camshows. And, of course, this is a far more useful device for long distance relationships. Not to belittle the needs of the woman, but I don't believe a remote controlled vibrator is in the same class of remote-intimacy as a remote controlled masturbator. The equivalent would be more like a remote controlled tongue or "fucking machine". But good executions of both are further away, I believe.

And yes, I _have_ thought "too much" about this stuff, even to the extent of sketching out a potential way to build the masturbator using electro magnetic actuators arranged in a ring to provide silent operation.

> Since the app was released in 2014, some observers have raised concerns that Internet-connected sex toys could be vulnerable to hacking.

Oddly enough, that might be some people's fetish.