I can guess what values are different in China, but since I haven't lived there it's probably better not to. Instead, I can tell you about one of the most difficult aspects of Japanese culture for most foreigners.

It's a bit strange because this is one of the things that I personally like about Japanese culture, even though it is definitely unsettling at times. People in Japan are very polite and helpful. If you meet someone, they will smile and say good morning. If you are lost, they will often go well out of their way to help you.

This friendliness is expected in the culture and people work very hard to keep it up. It extends into your personal relationships and there is a saying that you have one face that you present to everyone, one face that you show to your family and one face that you never show anyone else. The corollary is that every interaction you have with people involves an artifice to a greater or lesser extent.

If you ask someone for their opinion, they will generally try to guess what you think and give you that opinion -- because they don't want to upset you. Often when you are at work, people will be very nice to you, even if they don't like you very much. In fact, it may be the case that someone will actually hate you, but act like you are their best friend. Some of the people who have helped me the most and to whom I owe the most are people who I'm pretty sure despise me (but they are first on my list for souvenirs when I go travelling!)

In western cultures, there is a kind of tradition of clearing the air. You feel that you need to share your differences and work them out so that you can come to a better understanding of each other. This is not the case in Japan. If you suspect that there is a problem and try to work it out, the other person will be very uncomfortable. If you press the issue, they will squirm and lie about their feelings. If you press the issue even more, they will eventually break down and get very angry.

But then, having gotten angry, they will be embarrassed and upset and they will never speak another word to you for as long as you live.

To some people, this is incredibly upsetting. There is no way to determine if people genuinely like you or if they hate your guts. You will catch people out in little lies that have been constructed so that you don't have to discuss a difference of opinion. While this is done ostensibly to promote the harmonious flow of day to day life, you can get the feeling that nobody takes you seriously. Nobody is actually listening to you. Nobody cares what you think. They just smile and... well, lie to your face. And since many westerners are judgemental by culture, they imagine that they are being judged by this infuriating group of incessantly smiling jerks that are laughing at them behind their backs (when in fact, nobody cares what you think as long as you don't make trouble).

As for me... I'm living in a land of very polite people who smile and treat me well, even if they don't like me. As someone with a different way of looking at things, people take pleasure in listening to me and congratulating me on my unique view of the world. They go out of their way to help me and I return the favour. Nobody gives a damn if you agree or disagree or if you like someone or don't like someone. For me it's a kind of paradise where I can relax and throw out all the drama of western style relationships.

But even still, I can understand why some people can't deal with it.