makes it sound like you want to ignore the bigger issues to protect your ego because part of you is in the group being discussed.

One of the biggest issues I see today is people not recognizing common ground and the importance of working together, and increasing polarization, which is directly why I've engaged with you exactly on these terms. I know people are not going to agree with me on every point, nor can I expect them to do so. Thinking that I can convince people to wholesale change their opinions and values is likewise folly, and I must keep myself open to the opportunity to change my own if I expect others to change theirs. The alternative, to engage in the tyranny of democracy, is something that should be actively worked against, regardless of who is in power.

Why do Americans keep voting for a party that is hostile to marginalized groups? Because the America we live in is okay with this.

Did you vote in the US presidential election? If not, please imagine yourself to have done so for the sake of argument. Did you agree with every value espoused by one of the candidates? I think it's highly unlikely. For those you did agree with, do they hold the same priority for them as for you? Would they make every decision exactly how you would have them do? I very much doubt that as well.

The candidates of the two major parties had record low favorability ratings.[0] If you want to say something about Americans, it's that they didn't really like whoever was going to be elected. Assuming they subscribe to everything represented by their elected officials, even if they did vote for them, does them a disservice.

[0]: http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/americans-distaste-for-b...

People may share some of your values, values that are important to you. They may prioritize them different than you do, and some of their values that you do not share may be prioritized above them. I would want to work with all of the people that agree with me on a particular one. If I chose language that continues to alienate people, it will do little to nothing to help us find the common ground and work towards common goals.

If I keep all of my values bundled together, I'm very unlikely to make progress on any of them. I need to be able to talk about them individually, just as I am here, discussing my views on getting people to work together, with you. I'm separating this from the rest of my individual values (even though I'd like to think they're related, I know human psychology well enough to know that they are not at all likely to be internally consistent across them all), of which I'm sure we share at least a few. Arguing that you should accept this one because you and I share these others actively works against the point I'm trying to make, which is why I strive to avoid including any particular issue in my discussion.

I want things to change, and the thing I want to change the most is the idea that people can't work together even if they don't agree on every issue. I don't see how we can make progress on any issue any other civil way.

I'm frustrated in that I haven't been able to phrase my comments in a more amiable manner, and I fear I've let things go further than I'd otherwise like. For this I apologize, and will finish with this thread. I wish you the best and hope you have a productive day.