I think you're completely correct. This is really a suburban issue more than anything else. Think about suburbs:

() Each part of your existence is cordoned off into unique zones. There is the work zone, the shopping zone, and the home zone.

() None of these 'zones' are close enough together to walk. So you get into your car (with tinted windows!) and drive from zone to zone.

() Your house has a big fence (it's a 'privacy fence').

() Your house is huge. So big that you have rooms dedicated to things like excercise and 'media'. You don't have to leave your house...ever! You can excercise at home. No need to go to the movies. That gourmet kitchen can feed 200...

() Look at your street. In suburbia the streets are curvy and twisting... why? Go stand out on your front sidewalk. Notice how when the street twists it looks like you only have a handful of neighbors? That's why...

() That subdivision has a name. I bet it's something ranch, or
something glades or some other name designed to make you think you're living far out in the country away from everything (a great post on the subject: http://denverinfill.com/blog/2006/09/guide-to-suburban-denve...)

Everything about suburban life is designed to isolate. You drive in your tinted car to the giant grocery store. You nod at the cashier, hurry back to your car and drive home. You park as close to the store as you can.

You'll find that folks in suburban areas are obsessed with security. That's what their being sold. 'Come live here and you'll be so isolated no one can ever do anything bad to you ever!!'. Of course the cynic in me takes a trip back to the 60's and hears 'Come live here and you'll be so isolated you'll never have to deal with those black people in the cit...ever!!'

So ya... living in that environment you're bound to be unhappy. I've done that. I've lived it. It sucked.

Contrast that with my current situation:

() Small house with a small fence.

() Nice front porch

() Streets on the city grid.

() Grocery store is a 5 minute walk away

() (lots of) Restaurants, shops, and parks are all within walking distance

() My wife and I own one car, but we almost never use it. Our bikes get us around quite nicely.

() We both take public transit daily.

It's amazing. When we're walking or riding the bus we are nearly constantly interacting with other human beings. Walking down the road we'll meet new folks and pet their dog. More than once we've invited folks inside for a drink... It's really a pleasant way to live. I'm sure that we're statistically slightly less safe (our house was broken into once, and cars are occasionally robbed on our street) but we're 100% more happy.

I've noticed that the kids in the neighborhood (and there are a LOT) are also much better adjusted and well socialized as well. When we lived in the suburbs it became comical. We had tons of trouble finding places to eat. We'd go to $30/plate restaurants that would still have kids running around like it was Chuck-E-Cheese. I really think that the lack of daily socialization breeds a child that is fundamentally self-interested.

Urban kids do much better. Sure we've had the occasional problem... but it's been far less frequent. It just seems like a more natural and overall better way to live.