My girlfriend got a Zenbook a couple of weeks ago. It's a really nice machine -- not quite what I need for development purposes, but very very good. Put me in mind to see what kind of Zenbook might suit my needs. So I headed down to http://www.asus.com/zenbook/ to see what kind of machines they had and how much they cost.

That's how I discovered one of Apple's secret weapons, which it seems nobody is talking about: purchasability.

My expectation was that Asus's site would allow me to:

1. Browse their catalogue of computers.
2. Compare their pricing and features.
3. Buy one.

These are expectations which Apple's online store has given me, and I don't think they're extravagant. But with ASUS I could do exactly none of those. Nowhere on the site could I find a simple list of Zenbook models. Instead, there's so much flowery copywriting about how smart and sexy and popular a Zenbook will make me. Jesus Christ, it goes on forever. Are they using an infinite scroll? Anyhow, eventually I reach the bottom of the page: no list of available computers with specifications. WTF.

Okay, let's try "Find Your Zen" -- maybe, um, that'll help me pick a machine per the features I want?

No, it's some kind of personality profile, asking me what my aspirations are in life. My aspirations are to buy a fucking 13"-14" notebook with a decent CPU, an hdpi screen, an SSD, 8gb of RAM and a real HDMI port. Fine, let's pick some random options and see what it gives us.

Oooh, it says I should by some kind of flip-book! Actually I didn't know that existed and it looks pretty cool. The UX360UA. Yep, I'd go for that I guess, but it would be nice to see it side-by-side with other options. Anyhow, how much does it cost?

No idea. Doesn't say anywhere on the site. WTF?

Okay, let's go to http://currys.co.uk/ to find out. Search for Zenbooks. 78 options. Damnit, no, let's narrow down the screen size. WTF, it says they doesn't have any 13" models? Oh, no, I see -- their search filters are just completely busted. Fine, let's search through the whole list until we find what we want.

Hm. They don't have the UX360UA, but they have something that looks identical called the UX360CA. Er.... what's the difference? Is that like a different model number for the UK market? No way to tell.

...Spend 5 minutes Googling, since there's no way to search for anything or compare features on the ASUS site... finally find a comparison which makes it clear that the UX360CA is has a down-rated CPU, definitely unsuitable for my work. Looks like Curry's just doesn't carry the machine I want.

Okay, let's try Amazon.

Searching for UX360UA pulls up scores of options, most of them having nothing to do with the UX360UA. Finally, however, I can see a price -- a mere half an hour after first looking for it on the Asus site -- but it's out of stock! Alas. Oh, it's also available from other vendors for a bit more, but still a good deal... let's do that!

And, hey, this is thing is loaded! It's got a 256gb SSD and a 512gb HD. I admit: I could make use of that.

I get as far as putting it onto my wishlist before I notice that it's actually a UX310UA rather than a UX360UA. Just one character difference: can't blame Amazon for thinking that the Levenshtein distance was close enough to make it a match. But WTF, I now have no idea what kind of computer this is or whether it would be suitable for me. Still have no idea how much a UX360UA that I can actually buy would cost, nor have I been able to do a side-by-side comparison of it with any other options.

So how the hell am I supposed to purchase this thing??? Had to give up for the day; I'll come back to it when I have more free time.

In contrast, Apple's retail experience (both online and physical) is... well, there's a lot of it that's extraordinarily polished, probably to the point of superfluousness, but they've got the very most basic mechanism figured out:

1. Here's what we've got.
2. Choose what you want.
3. Buy it.

This allowed me to buy my current Macbook Pro at the Apple store on Regent street in under 12 minutes. I deeply appreciated the straightforwardness of that purchasing experience (in contrast to my girlfriend, who, when picking up her Zenbook from Currys, had to spend 15 minutes in a back room turning down upselling offers etc). Is this really so hard for others to accomplish?

And no, Dell isn't any better at this. Nor is HP. I haven't checked with Silverfish^H^H^H^H Lenovo yet but am not particularly interested in their machines. In any case, this is one area where industry needs to get better at aping Apple.