First, I want to commend you for remaining civil and calm on this very personal topic and recognizing that I'm not trying to attack your fundamental character. That does show that you have a lot of restraint and that you are good at processing the data before you critically and carefully. Most people aren't able to keep it together after a reply like mine.

I understand that you don't have to spend "a lot of" time with your family to have a good relationship with them. One of the most important roles to play in a family is that of breadwinner, which necessarily means that you will have to spend a lot of time out winning the bread. Though this prevents you from spending time with your family, it's an act of love for and in behalf of your family, and it's a good thing to do. So it's not just about not spending "a lot of" time with them.

You should spend some time with them, and they should be higher priority than a business venture. It is fine that you and your wife have an understanding, but I think your phraseology may be cockeyed. A family should never be second-best. It is always worth the time. When you say your family is less important, it evokes images of letting your wife die alone in the ER after an accident so that you can keep making cold calls. Your family should be top priority, which doesn't mean you have to spend every waking hour physically with them -- it just means everything you do should be first and foremost in their service. That includes commercial endeavors, but is not limited to them. Balance must be achieved.

I finished reading Ed Catmull's Creativity Inc. last night. The book ends with an afterword in which Catmull, who spent a quarter-century working closely with Steve Jobs at Pixar, discusses the unfair treatment that Steve receives in the media. He lamented that everyone wants to immortalize Steve in his early, immature days, the days when he was a hothead and would behave questionably. That's the Steve we always hear about, but according to Catmull, Steve matured hugely between the start of their relationship and his death. Catmull explicitly ascribes that maturity, the maturity that allowed him to do his best work and revitalize Apple, to Steve's family. Once he started caring about his family and paying more attention to his 3 kids, they helped him learn how to be a better leader, a better manager. How to be kinder and more mindful.

Even tech's best-known example of a deadbeat dad wasn't able to achieve his dreams until his family issues were fixed. Remember, despite young Steve's obvious talent and vision, he was forced out because he was brash and off-balance. After 15 years of additional maturity and growth, which, again, Catmull attributes directly to Steve's improved relationships with his wife and children, he was able to come back to Apple and finally make the lasting impact he envisioned.

After finishing Creativity, Inc. I went to Pixar's web site and clicked around. The only video I watched was from director Brad Bird. He was talking about how hard it is to be a director and how there are many conflicting demands. And he said, "I'm a much better director since having kids; they teach you how to stay calm". First and only video I watched. Not searching it out in any way. No indication that children would be mentioned before I clicked. And here again, just in one night, the second substantial evidence I encountered that caring for children makes workers better.

You have to get this right. Whatever you think you're going to do in the commercial world, it can't be second fiddle to your deep-seated psychological and biological needs for family, belonging, and so forth. I understand you are probably going to say that some people just don't need that kind of thing, to which I say, baloney. Surely some people end up not having that kind of thing, but the evidence is clear: a healthy family life (which includes prioritizing family as the 1st priority) makes workers better, not worse. Family is a pre-requisite to doing one's best work, not an afterthought.

Companies come and go. Maybe you'll get sued into bankruptcy, or maybe you won't (as a music startup, you probably will). Your family is permanent. It is static. It is stable. The economy can't change it. What you do or don't do is going to affect your wife and your children not only for the rest of their natural lives, but for the lives of tens of thousands of their descendants over the next few hundred years. You need to get your head on right and acknowledge that fame and accreditation are fleeting and stupid, and they don't make a real impact. They can't outdo biology.

Your family needs to come first.