I'll bite. Well you've made a bad joke, so the joke is on you now. I have to do a little education about values.

Note to downvoters: Why would you allow someone to make such an attack on our identity and not allow for a defense? Typical assholes you are.

Americans have had one attack and they used it as an excuse to "export their freedom" (which is a colloquial term on 9GAG to mean "killing half the population of two or three countries after unrefutable proof that they had WMDs, arbitrary killings without trials using Predator, TSA, and NSA"), and it's been going on for 15 years and counting. Let's not either forget that 6% black people in USA are currently in jail, so I'll take very much advice about racism from Americans.

Coming back to the burkini, you must acknowledge that there is a djihad running against France currently. Before yu downvote, please consider my defense for this strong word:

- It's not one or two people who hate France. It's been 8 attacks in 2 years. Profiles are very wide, from highly-organized criminality to a father who felt enough sympathy with the Islamic movement that he switched to Islam a few weeks before killing 80 people. So it's not an external threat like in USA, it's an internal threat. It means we have to set values and, yes, they are sometimes absolute.

- Christians have never been practising the full niquab. We have various covering robes for priests, monks and sisters, but that's only for people whose job is religion. Besides, it's a practice that belongs to the past, even for Christians. My uncle is leader of 9 nuns, I find it shockingly machist. It should be forbidden too. That Islam is starting with coverage for whole populations is only synonymous with how backwards its traditions are.

- We have the burkini because we said nothing about the Foulard and the Niquab (no idea about translations, but it's bedsheets covering women).

- See, our women are free. They are free and equal to men. That a woman has to cover herself to avoid being raped is a backwards idea. Of course it can be defended that "the niquab isn't about rape, it's about religion". Which is like saying torrents are for sharing pictures. If a religion imposes women to redeem their rights, then it's a backwards religion and it must be forbidden.

- It may sound strange that we have to impose our views on women to make them free. Well, deal with it. I'm sure there's more than 1 woman in France who would enjoy leaving the niquab without being told she's a bitch (or being raped), so if only for one woman's freedom, it is required to impose the law to everyone.

- There is no need to show off your religion. Christians wear a little cross around their neck sometimes. Discretion. They don't disguise with Christian clothes. What if I had a full disguise of a backwards religion, say for example a crusade disguise. Cruisades have killed hundred thousands Muslims. Would Muslim people feel insecure or in danger today if I wore a cruisade dress "because of religion"? Of course yes.

- France is both a former colonialist and a contry who hasn't succeded the integration of 7 million Arabic immigrants. As much as we've been trying, there's a disappointment. It's no surprise to me that non-Muslims convert before an attack. They feel like a diaspora of the same community.

- The disappointment is both ways. There is no solidarity from Arabic people towards whites. Each time you get stolen, each time a driver abuses a pedestrian, it's a Arab and a white person. My goddaughter of 8 years old was touched in her room by a man. He was Arab. I was giving him programming lessons, I invitd him to a party with friends. Why would he rape her? Because she's white, so it doesn't matter? Why would he rape at all? Because Köln?

And the niquab, in the middle of this, is a flag. A fleeting flag of sympathy for the Arabic cause against the bad French colonial. The problem isn't the niquab, the problem is Islamism.

So here is the contract. You can immigrate in our country and we filter much less on talent than Americans or Australians. You're even allowed to tell your child that school is important and stealing is bad. If you do so, there is a lot of help and benefits for you here. You're allowed to practice your religion. You're not allowed to support the djihad against France. If your religion doesn't allow the same freedom for women, then you'll have to fork your religion into a French-Islam that is clearly compatible with occidental values and which clearly fights against terrorist attacks.

If you want to keep practicing a religion the way it is practiced in other countries, well, emigrate to those countries.

The worst part is, Muslim people are only 8% in France and 80% people are buried under Christian tradition.