Eventually I quit that job and did start my own company and I'm so much happier for it my eyes are welling up right now just thinking of the contrast. I'm emotional, I know, but it's like I came alive when I started building something that I owned and loved and appreciated. When other people started appreciating it and I make other lives better with my work and I get the reward -- you just have to feel it to know, but it took a long time to get that feeling -- years.

It was sooo hard. There were months and months of this low frequency buzz in my gut, constantly thinking, "How am I going to make money? Am I going to make money? Why don't people understand what I'm building? Will I be able to survive on my own?" All the while my bank account was going down, down, down...

And from my own hands, I've created a 1 year runway! A whole year! That I built. That's plenty of time and we're growing and I look back and understand completely why almost everyone I know thought I was crazy. But now they are envious. "I wish I could do that. I wish I could quit my job. I have a mortgage." I had to move back to my childhood home in the middle of nowhere to make ends meet. I had to make real sacrifice. I was living on the beach when I quit. Now I'm 1500 miles from salt water, but I'm happy.

I do think sales is hard though. I don't get why they don't get it. I don't know how to speak their language. I don't know what motivates them. On the proposal yesterday, I didn't put a price, because the money doesn't really matter to me, what I want is to help him have a better site and provide a better experience for his customers, and bring technology home.

My state has had a severe brain drain. People like me don't stay here. Technology people who work for the corporations are actually consultants who live in the huge metro areas -- in other states! They fly in on monday and fly home on friday.

I work with companies all over the world, but people in my own town -- in my own state for the most part -- don't even understand what I'm doing and I wonder how or when I'll break through, but I'm going to keep trying. Next time I'll put the payment options on the form.

I've gotten it down to three options: Fixed fee, Hourly rate, or Revenue share. I have learned from past experience, that if you just put a price, people say no. If you give them options, they have something to think about. Some people want to take no risk. Some want to know what it'll cost up front and some just want the absolute best you can produce.

Every potential customer is different. I can't seem to find a strategy that always works and it's difficult for me to predict how people will react and how to figure out which kind of customer the person is. Are there subtle questions I can ask? Can I tell from looking at their business or customers how I can convince them to proceed. It's good technology. I know for almost sure that I can help them, but they are suspicious. They don't understand and don't want to be taken for a ride. How do I reassure them? How do I let them know I'm not one of those business guys who just wants to take their money?

I read lots of books and keep trying, but I don't know if it's easier to pick up sales. There is an aspect of gift to it I think. Persuasiveness. That "status" part of the theater class thread from the other day. Lots can be learned, but it takes a lot of practice and a lot of time and a lot of -- just numbers, really. Take your pride out of it. Be confident and tell everyone you know. Don't worry that you sound like you're tooting your own horn. That's what you have to do. If you don't tell anyone, no one will know.

I don't begrudge sales guys for what they can do. I envy it, but I also think it is overvalued. But why shouldn't it be? Sales guys are better able to sell their own value to their company than the programmers are able to sell their value. It's not the business guy's fault. It's our fault for settling for less than we are worth -- literally.