Preface: I hate small talk as much as anyone, in part because I'm terrible at it, but also because I just fundamentally don't enjoy conversing for the sake of conversing.

Having said that, I've worked with a lot of non-Americans, many of whom inevitably notice (and try to adapt to) differences in social conventions between where they came from vs. the US. They often perceive those differences as being much more extreme and stark than they actually are.

Let's be clear: no one is under any sort of social obligation to actually make small talk with anyone. Yes, there are some really extroverted people who have to exchange life stories with the people they're sitting next to on a flight. Yes, there are some really extroverted people who feel obligated to exchange life stories with every barista or waiter they deal with. Yes, there are some really extroverted people who feel obligated to exchange life stories with random strangers who happen to be standing next to them in line at the bank or the grocery store or at a bus stop. Those aren't people to emulate, those people are freaking annoying. Their behavior isn't based on conforming to a social norm that everyone who sets foot in America is bound by. That's what this article sounds like, somebody who made friends with overly chatty people and has convinced himself that that is simply how things are done in America, and that cannot be farther from the truth.

On the other hand, there are some slight subtleties to be aware of, and every single one of them can be dealt with by applying just the teeniest whiff of politeness and geniality. Seriously, that's all that it is. Yes, the hallway/breakroom/elevator exchange of "How's it going?/Not bad, yourself?/Pretty good!/Well, see you later!" happens all the time. Yes, there's an element of BS to it because you probably don't actually want the other person to delineate every aspect in which "it" is "going". But that's all. It's social ritual, it's not actually small talk. It's more like an extended greeting. You could use such an exchange as a launching point for a longer discussion, but neither party is under any obligation to do so, or to stick around for it if one person does actually want to vent about their day. It's just a longer way of saying "hi" to a colleague.

Likewise, if you go to a restaurant and place your order in a low commanding monotone to the server while in unblinking stoneface mode, and never say "thank you" for anything, it may be perceived as rude, although sadly that describes > 50% of most service workers' interactions with customers on any given day so it's hardly unheard of. Really there are no expectations for social interaction, but you can ensure that there is never any awkwardness or perceived rudeness by applying the tiniest modicum of geniality. Meaning, a slight flash of a smile, maybe some very brief eye contact, maybe a little nod and a "thank you" when they do something for you. That's it. No need to do any of the things the author of this article thinks you need to do in order to not be seen as being rude in America. If you force yourself to be chatty and extroverted when you don't want to be, it'll just make things awkward for everyone. It's not something to aspire to, and it certainly isn't something that's expected of you. The only expectation is people treat one another with respect and no one treats anyone else like a servant or a socioeconomic inferior even when those things are true.

It goes both ways- the world is full of different cultures with different norms, and anytime you go someplace with different norms you may be perceived as being rude if you aren't aware of those norms. Respecting personal space is another one that stands out. I've worked and studied with people from parts of Asia where it's perfectly normal to walk down the street with someone while standing so close together as to almost touch (or actually touch). In America the social norm is to always respect other peoples' personal space and to keep at least a little distance from the other person. If two people have different ideas about personal space based on growing up with different social norms, who is being rude in this situation? I would say that neither person is, it's just a misunderstanding. However, when I travel abroad I always make an effort to do a little research into what the social norms are in the place that I'm going to. The internet makes this trivial nowadays.