> I see my peers excel at what they do while I constantly wonder "Why can't I do that?" or "Why can't I be as smart as X in Y?", or "What's stopping me from doing that too?"

I recently experiment with "having fun", which I sometimes rationalize as "delegating the choice of what to do to the subconscious" to feel better about it :)

Rationale:

I was a "smart kid". The way I learned back then was lots of freedom + father able to explain almost anything that piqued my interest at the moment (owned lots of books and had read most of them). I also had a computer and freedom to do whatever I liked with it, which was: playing games (and playing with other software), customization, modding, programming - in chronological order. I early learned to read/write and obtained lots of general knowledge. At school I was bored out of my mind for the first few years, and in case of math and IT classes almost till the end.

Things started to go downhill when I figured that "being smart" is good for me and that people "like me" for that. I actually started caring about impressing others, maybe even more than about my own curiosity. I allocated time to things I though would be "cool" to do, even if I didn't feel like doing them. Even when I liked doing something, suddenly failures started to worry me that maybe I'm not that good after all, instead of motivating to sit until 3AM as they used to.

I got a habit of "cargo cult learning", i.e. reading things I thought could be "important" instead of just things I liked at the moment, as in my earlier days. I had an ever growing list of bookmarks "for later" and never came back to them. I spent lots of time on Slashdot and HN :)

After several years, I started to feel like I lost some of my former mental performance, and definitely even more of confidence, satisfaction from work and ability to go through failures.

Recently, I'm trying to care less about what's "important" or what others are doing and more about what I like. Even if something is "unimportant" but I like it, nowadays I'm likely to do it anyway. I'm finding that truly stupid things quickly bore me when I actually start doing them and honestly trying to like them, as opposed to thinking how I shouldn't be doing them.

I don't know (yet) if this will make me smarter, but at least I'm feeling generally better now. As a side effect, I'm also finding it easier to understand other people, maybe because at times I actually enjoy reading about things that aren't "news for nerds, stuff that matters". Somebody mentioned "music, art, philosophy" and I think there is something to it. Probably forcing yourself to do such stuff only because somebody on the Internet told you so is equally silly as compulsively reading every article posted to HN about what you think will make you a bad-ass in your "area of expertise", but I'd say - don't resist it when you happen to find something unrelated to IT that piques your interest and try to notice such things when they come.

edit: A word about "cargo cult learning" and "reading everything". Sure, reading helps. But reading too much burns lots of time and, at least in my case, reading about things that aren't important at the moment tends to leave very little impression. I find it better to start doing something I want/need and than read as I encounter problems.