I have been tortured by this all my life. To the point where, now, after decades of trying to "adapt" per the wishes of my family, school, medical professionals, and workplace... and landing, ironically or whatever, in a series of apparently quiet when selecting but actually abnormally loud living circumstance -- well, to the point where my physical health is significantly and irreversibly destroyed.

A few things:

+ I am -- or was; the health issues now dominate -- able to concentrate, quite intensely and effectively. But I needed a QUIET and distraction free environment in which to do so.

+ Academically, I was, despite these problems, quite successful. Grade-curve-distorting successful.

+ I was flagged from an early age as "gifted". I still remember one of the initial tests and being told the results -- in fourth grade. Despite this, the school system never seemed to have an understanding, sympathy, nor accommodation for my environmental needs. This left me feeling "broken" and very frustrated and anxious.

+ Pernicious bullying, whether related or not, led to something for which I only decades later received a term and gradual, reluctant acceptance of its validity with respect to me: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

+ I am actually quite GOOD at collaboration. I just can't do it in a noisy, distracting environment -- except during bursts of stress and adrenalin (e.g. imminent deadlines) and when the work is actually suited to the environment -- e.g. more of a physical component, working together to complete a physical task that can also have a significant mental component.

In corporate workplaces that increasingly tortured me with cubes turning into low-walled corners with someone sitting 3 feet off my shoulder in my peripheral vision. Etc. Nonetheless, I got to know people across these very substantial organizations. And we'd simply "get stuff done", short-circuiting some of the bureaucracy while actually improving safety and results by keeping and eye open and reaching out when things didn't seem right.

----

So, understand that such people can be very productive and collaborative and, often in their own, quiet, non-aggressive way, social.

Early on, they/we need to learn this about ourselves and that we, of necessity, must advocate for and, OR, more simply achieve, the kind of workspace and living environment we need.

In times past, that might have meant a bit more remote home and a job or workspace off by itself. These days, in the modern Western world (my experience), these things can be very hard to achieve -- our personal landscapes so packed and full of ever noisier devices: Televisions; stereos; car stereos with those ridiculous, block-shaking subwoofers.

And especially early on, a mainstream that practically compels us to struggle with these environments by dint of an exhausting, chronic stress. Perhaps the home environment. Certainly school. Junior workspaces packed together like veal. Economic circumstances that only allow apartment living where those devices I mentioned seem to make the experience louder and louder, year by year, and social mores that ever more seem to populate building with people who think the only consideration they need have is for themself.

So... pardon what has become my ramble/rant, here.

I would like to make the point that, if you are not one of these people, please don't simply discount them. They are often actually very kind and accommodating and helpful people, if they can simply have their peace and quiet. If they are not stressed into that "fight or flight" frame of mind. ALL we want from you is a bit of peace and quiet. Just for ourselves; we don't care what you do nor how you want to fill your day. Just let us have our quiet and concentration. Our own bit of space.

Personally, I feel most of my chances for this life are past. Of the few things left that I might actually accomplish, communicating this in a manner that makes life easier -- in this respect -- for future people like me, is a primary goal.