Re: Your non-compliance with federal idea labeling standards during your recent attempt to engage in hatefully misleading speech or non-speech conduct and/or omissions

U.S. Department of Belief Management
Federal Bureau of Satirical Objectivity

948 Pennsylvania Ave, N.S.
Washington, D.C. 205353
November 19, 2035

To: The Individu(als) (K)n(o)wn As "justinjlynn" and His Compatriots on the News Hacker Worldwide Internet-Web-Sub-Forums

Under the authority of Acting Military President Trump's Imperial Battlefield Edict 17-A, dated January 32, 2037, Subdivision 7: Unconventional formatting in civil, substantive discussions, and pursuant to Title 27, United States Code (U.S.C.) Section 2488 of the Electronic Communications Objectivity Act, as amended September 28, 2015, you are hereby directed to provide to the Federal Bureau Federal Bureau of Satirical Objectivity the (FBFBSO) the subscriber's name, address, length of service, and electronic communications transactional records, to include existing transactional/activity logs and all electronic mail (e-mail) header information (not to include message content and/or subject fields), for the below-listed class of address holders:

All individuals who were exposed to so-called "news" communications that depicted Donald John Trump as an entertainer and/or politician, rather than as a Nobel-prize winning trichologist.

While fulfilling your obligations under this letter, do not disable, suspend, lock, cancel or interrupt service to the above described subscriber(s) accounts. A service interruption or degradation may alert the subscribers that investigative action is being taken. If you are not able to fulfill your obligations under this letter without alerting the subscriber/account user, contact the FBFBSO prior to proceeding.

In accordance with Title 56 U.S.C. Section 9847(p), I certify that the information sought is relevant to an authorized investigation to protect against deceptive presentations of implied objectivity and/or newsiness, and that such investigation of U.S. Americans is not conducted solely on the basis of activities protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States.

In accordance with Title 19 U.S.C. Section 23, Fourth Column, Fifth Pajamagram 29-A, Amended Sub-Meta-Heading, I certify that the fairness, objectivity, and wholesomeness of the American public sphere would be, to a moderate possibility of truthiness, distorted and defiled if this post were to be downvoted, particularly on the hyper-technical and humorless meta-not-getting (or maybe just meta-getting-way-the-hello-too-much) ground that H.N. posts aren't supposed to ask for votes, which FBFBSO is not doing, judge.

In accordance with 198 U.S.C. 4984, you have a right to challenge this letter if compliance would be unreasonable, oppressive, barbaric, or otherwise unlawful and the right to challenge the non-downvoting requirements set forth above.

In accordance with Ottawa Department of Motor Vehicles Convention, Title IVL: Surreal Civility, unlawful failure to comply with this letter which has no legal authority, all unlawful failure to comply with the express or implied instructions, expectations, hopes, and/or dreams of an FBFBSO officer may result in one or more non-United States Federal Government Organizations pursuing the drafting and dissemination of precision-weighted counter-programming to ensure a fair and accurate balance of information within the noosphere.

Any questions you have regarding this request should be directed only to the FBFBSO and or its corporate parents, including but without limitation, AOL-Time-WhatsApp.

Due to paradoxical security considerations, you should neither discuss nor disclose the existence of this letter to any person at any time for any reason, unless absolutely necessary to reverse causality to original position.

Your greatest discretion in this matter is greatly appreciated. And expected.

Sincerely,

Clint Ehrlich
Deputy FBFBSO Commissioner for Football Operations,
Kansas City Trumps,
NFL Eurasia Expansion League,
Siberia Exhibition Division
Irkutsk Oblast, Russia,
34 << Lake the Baikal >> 39
п.Хужир Ольхонский, 666137