POKER IS NOT JUST A GAME

First, thanks for posting the question. I've read a lot
of good info in this thread and I'd like to reciprocate.

The most important lesson I've learned in my life is
that the people who have any influence over you are
most likely playing you. And most "dirty tricks" are
not done directly, but through their proxies. If this
is news to you, you wont even be able to tell whose
pulling the levers.

People may be moral on Sunday, but, come Monday, the
boss can pretty much define what's right and wrong and
people will fall in line, even if it's to conspire and
betray. Most people have the morality of a squirrel:
they will steal your nuts, but only when you aren't
looking.

Their justifications for screwing you:

1. as long as they don't get caught, they think it's OK;

2. they assume they are being played, too, so it's just
the way they think the world works;

3. the ends justify the means;

4. some people (salesmen / head hunters / egotistic
managers) play it for the game: playing people like a
puppet on a string, what's not to like, especially if
it puts jingle in the pocket?

5. better him than me; it's a dog eat dog world;

6. who can afford morals when you have a mortgage
payment due? Family first;

7. the naive deserve to be played if they're this easy;

8. bacon cheeseburgers, chocolate, and over-generous
salaries go a long way towards assuaging the guilt;

9. some think saying a prayer every Sunday absolves
them;

10. periodically spreading graft in the form of
gifts, bonuses, perks, plush job positions, etc., is
an embodiment of their good intentions and shows what
swell guys they really are. In reality, they are trying
to buy you.

Here's a few clues that should draw your attention:

1. if it seems like your manager is doing no better
than flipping a coin whenever he makes a technical
decision, it's not because he's a moron when it comes
to technical matters, it's because he is factoring his
decision into his scheme of playing the maximum number
of his employees to his benefit.

2. if the boss makes totally random statements that
technically don't make any sense at all, it's because
they weren't intended to make technical sense. He's
sending you a message in manager-speak, the only code
he understands. (More on this below.)

3. if buds that used to pal around with you start
avoiding you, the boss has gotten to them in some way.

And here's one anti-pattern: don't think that being
outwardly religious means that one is less evil than
the non-religious. It just means the evil is cloaked in
religious vestments.

Here's an example of how to decode a totalling
random thing your boss may say. "Put the prototype
in production now." Those six words have a totally
different meaning to a manager than to a person naive
enough to take this statement literally. Translation:
"What I want you to do is this: rewrite the prototype
and turn it into production code, test it, and install
it before the end of the day, or, if you prefer, you
can work all night and install it first thing tomorrow
morning while I'm pounding away on my trophy wife.
I know what I said may have sounded kind of funny,
because I don't understand the stupid details that you
techies masturbate over, but if I had said anything
truly insane I'm sure that you idiot techies would have
either corrected me, or made the proper translations
from manager-speak to geek-speak. I mean, surely you're
smart enough to do that, aren't you? You say you can
speak all these different languages. Well, why don't
you start with English? I own all of your asses, so
you will either find a way to do this or else tell
me in the most obsequious manner how my grand plan
may be amended in a manner such that I will save face
and still get what I want in the quickest way. And,
oh, by the way, if this causes the database to start
hemorrhaging data, it's all your fault because I hereby
give you total responsibility and zero authority to
actually get the task done. Deal with it, and get out
of my face already. I have no clue how to actually
do anything that I asked you to do, but that's not
my problem, now, is it, you fooken mooches? Now I've
got to get back to my office and covertly read the
email you've been sending each other. Suck it! Uh, I
mean, good luck on getting this done by my totally
meaningless deadline!" There, that wasn't so hard
to decode, was it? The reason why it becomes easier
and easier to decode manager-speak is because a lot
of the words and phrases remain the same, especially
the phrases "idiots," "suck it," and "don't bother me
with details, you ass-wipes! I can't even remember the
passwords to half my accounts. How the hell do you
think I can help you with your petty problems? Now, for
Christsakes, leave me alone!"

Most people are amateurs at being pure evil, however,
and have tells. They avoid looking you in the eyes, or
give short, evasive or noncommittal answers. They often
don't face you while talking to you, and their voice
is lower than it is normally. They may look at their
computer monitor as if it's revealing the answer to
the universe and they are too busy soaking in life's
answers to attend to your silly, silly questions that
deal with boring things like databases or how we might
make their company some coin.

The Pros, on the other hand, have learned the tricks to
hiding their culpability: they have learned to control
their emotions so that they can appear charming and
look you straight in the eyes while lying. Finding the
Pro's tells is much harder.

The most common way for a player to judge whether his
conspiracies have been found out is to occasionally
"ping" you and judge your reactions. The simplest form
this takes is a cheery "Good Morning," except this is
not a pleasantry, your boss is using it like radar.
The naive wont be able to control the bile that starts
to well up in the throat when they see somebody who
is playing them, and they will immediately give it
away on their face, and this is of course instantly
readable. The ping succeeded. If you understand how
the game is played, however, you will immediately give
a reciprocating cheerful "Good morning," not because
you give a rat's ass about your boss' well-being, but
because showing your hand makes it even easier for your
boss to play you. The corollary is to never let on that
you know the rules of the game, which is why you almost
never see these missives in print, and they will be
quickly disavowed or shrugged off as casually as Bush
shrugs off the fact he belongs to a secret society
(Skull and Bones -- look it up). Who said poker's just
a game?

Some indicators of Pro players: they pay a lot of
attention to their appearance (one exception: they
think they can cover up their rolls and rolls of fleshy
fat with really expensive leather coats); they attach
a huge amount of importance on being able to tightly
control their emotions (or use them to personal gain,
to wit, watch Hillary turn on the waterworks when her
words are no longer effective); they tightly control
information: they only release information that
either makes them look good, is benign, or is vitally
important to getting the job done; they know how to put
the best light on a sucky situation, and, conversely,
are quick to throw mud at others, even when they are
three levels down the ladder and have absolutely zero
authority, they still try to divert the responsibility
onto those who are either unable to defend themselves
or are unwilling to stoop to this nonsense. Most of
the time, however, you wont even know it's happening.
Most of it doesn't surface, but some eventually bubbles
up from the depths. The most insidious members of our
society are cowards, and prefer maneuvering in the
shadows.

So amoral and base are these people that they will
even try to play you after you give your notice. While
you desperately try to break free from the beady-eyed
little monsters, they will ask for that last pound of
flesh without even blinking. From the most evil there
is absolutely no remorse; and from those trying to buy
back a piece of their souls, a generous severance. Take
it -- you deserve it more than you will ever know.

Those weird things people have said to you in the past
that you just write off as unimportant or meaningless,
well, they weren't. The motivations behind those weird
statements were most likely guileful, trying to get you
to expose your cards, or manipulate you.

How to know you're being played? Aside from the clues I
list above, you need to totally clear your head and let
your subconscious pick it apart at night. I literally
woke up one morning and knew what had happened because
my dreams had played it out for me. Then once you know
what happened, and understand these unspoken rules I've
laid out, it's not too difficult to confirm. And to be
specific about clearing your head, I mean eating like
a cave man, and exercising like a cave man. Don't even
ingest caffeine if you are trying to get to that point
where your subconscious is able to tell you important
things and you are capable of listening.

However, I just may be over-sensitive. And I suck at poker.
But I'm learning.