I think I just failed out of college...
(temp account)

I just finished my last final today and it was yet another one where I pretended to study for an hour before the test after not having gone to class in the last 3 weeks, I guess in an attempt to not feel guilty about my lack of caring/trying.

I'm a smart kid. I could do well at school if it was a priority of mine. I'm just so not focused on putting effort into it, and because my major is Philosophy, and I don't want the job lifestyle that comes from a Liberal Arts degree, this BA would not be unlocking any doors for me. The path this degree has me on is exactly opposite of what I really want.

I have had a really tough year, been very depressed and have just a dark cloud over me for a long time. I fell into a really bad habit of procrastination and indifference that really flipped my world upside down. But I have been seeking counseling and have received medication and overall have been feeling much much better.

Because of that depression though, I basically stopped going to school last spring and got put on academic probation. Nearly the same thing happened again this semester, so unless my BS skills were topnotch on my finals, I might be screwed. I'm 19 units from graduating and don't really care that I'm close to getting a degree, college is a major nuisance in my life.

I have started to write in a journal everyday, something I've always wanted to do but just never could muster up the ambition to do so. I don't particularly write with a purpose, just whatever is on my mind and what I want to explore. I haven't reread a word of it either. It's just a medium for expressing my thoughts, not really a memoir or anything. It has really made me feel good to see the amount of pages I have written, to see the production flow from the pen.

I have also been working really hard on starting a digital marketing startup with a friend of mine. I've taught myself Codeigniter in the last few months and have so far built a really robust CRM for us and am now about to finish a web app that will allow us to expand things very quickly (I wish I could show you guys but it's kind of one those internal things that won't ever been seen by the public. Codeigniter is really nice though).

Finishing college is just so not in line with where my desires really are. After having been stuck in such a bad rut for so long, actually being productive again is the most liberating thing ever. I feel like the world went from black and white to color.

I have started tightening up my lifestyle. I never had a drinking problem but I have basically stopped drinking completely and have avoided going to bars with my roommates in order to be productive and take care of my projects.

The act of producing, whether it's writing or programming or designing new features and apps, is hands down a major source of my happiness. I simply don't get that same sense of accomplishment from school.

It's really hard for me because I have my family, both sets of grandparents, girlfriend, and girlfriend's family who all listen to what I'm so excited to work on and try to start and who turn around and respond with "Well, that's a neat idea, but you need to get your degree first."

It really really frustrates me to hear that. I just refuse to accept that my degree is truly something that I need in order to follow through on my plans to build a company. I know a lot of you guys have probably heard this same response.

How do you deal with other people's opinions on how you should pursue your passions?
What do you think about the whole school thing?

Thanks for listening.