It is terribly worded and quite off-putting. It also has a lot of stuff in it which could be summed up as "be a decent person". Saved space could be used to express specific ideas about desired behavior. Some comments:

Offensive comments related to gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, mental illness, neuro(a)typicality, physical appearance, body size, race, age, regional discrimination, political or religious affiliation

Both too general and too specific. If the goal is to say offensive comments are not permitted then leave it at: "offensive comments". If comments regarding things on the list should be avoided say it. I mean, what about "comments about sexual orientation, mental illnesses etc. of other project members are not permitted". Why is political affiliation on the list I don't really know either. Political affiliation or religion might be completely off-topic for open source projects but putting them in the same list as race/age/body size/physical appearance/gender etc. makes very little sense.
Just don't talk about politics or religion if they are unrelated to the project. Don't talk about diet ideas either when we are at that.

Unwelcome comments regarding a person’s lifestyle choices and practices, including those related to food, health, parenting, drugs, and employment

"Don't make personal attacks and avoid personal remarks in general".

Deliberate misgendering

Already covered in "comments about gender/sexual orientation/mental ilnesses/etc. of other members".

Physical contact and simulated physical contact (eg, textual descriptions like “hug” or “backrub”) without consent or after a request to stop

It really doesn't seem to be necessary and makes the whole thing sound not very serious.

Threats of violence, both physical and psychological
Incitement of violence towards any individual, including encouraging a person to commit suicide or to engage in self-harm
Deliberate intimidation

Yeah but make it shorter: "Threats of violence, intimidation or encouraging them".

Deliberate “outing” of any aspect of a person’s identity without their consent except as necessary to protect others from intentional abuse

Actual problem and specific behavior hidden among 20 or so points which could be shortened to 3. More points like that please.

Publication of non-harassing private communication

Another good point: specific behavior which isn't universally understood as undesired and should be specifically included in CoC.

‘Reverse’ -isms, including ‘reverse racism,’ ‘reverse sexism,’ and ‘cisphobia’

Reverse sexism is sexism. Remove all "reverse" non-sense.
The whole text reads like mumbling on Tumblr.

Refusal to explain or debate social justice concepts

Yeah, refusal to explain or debate recent fruit diet should be included as well.

Criticizing racist, sexist, cissexist, or otherwise oppressive behavior or assumptions

All this is covered in point about sexism and discrimination. Cissexist or cisgender aren't actual words in a dictionary and should be avoided in an international CoC.

If someone has been harmed or offended, it is our responsibility to listen carefully and respectfully, and do our best to right the wrong.

This is nonsense. Someone being harmed is a serious issue. Someone being offended - not so much. Mixing the two takes away from serious issues and dilute them in ocean of meaningless words without any specific behaviors attached to them.

Although this list cannot be exhaustive, we explicitly honor diversity in age, gender, gender identity or expression, culture, ethnicity, language, national origin, political beliefs, profession, race, religion, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and technical ability.

Blablablabla, 3rd time in the same text. Just remove the whole section. It doesn't contribute anything.

If you experience or witness unacceptable behavior—or have any other concerns—please report it by contacting us via abuse@todogroup.org. All reports will be handled with discretion. In your report please include:

"If you experience unacceptable behavior or have any questions, contact us at abuse@todogroup.org. All reports will be handled with discretion."
The rest of the paragraph is pointless.

Overall it's a terribly written text which is thin on specifics and repeats itself several times.
Maybe ask an actual technical writer to put things together. Make it shorter as well.