Search query: hettie ashwin

Product: Productive Procrastination: A humorous, helpful guide to Self-publishing for the procrastinator.
Description: Self-publishing has moved the goalposts.Now you can do it yourself.

Get your book off to a great start by doing something else.

This mildly humorous book gives amazing insights into doing everything but write.

Take the guesswork out of what to do when you don’t want to do anything.

Discover a framework for procrastination.

How to get more from your time not writing.
How to look busy.
What it takes to be an ace procrastinator.

A book that talks about all the other stuff.

Marketing
research,
writers block
writer branding
industry standards, and more

A book that can keep you busy despite yourself.

‘This book was just what I needed when I wasn’t ready to write my book’ Mortimer Thistlewaite.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Living it up in France: A love of travel, adventure and good wine
Description: With a bucket list, a motorbike and a map, two Aussie adventurers,

live it up in France.

Between renovating their house in a Breton village, they travel on Roman Roads, see Gothic Cathedrals, drink delicious coffee and discover a love of France with le joie de vivre.

We just won’t mention the speeding ticket ... or getting lost ... or being mistaken for a crocodile hunter. Well, not right away anyway.

Bonne chance!
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Laughing Box: Three hilarious stories, thrice the fun
Description: Literary Licence

Can you kill someone who doesn't exist, and get away with it?

Ursula just might, if only people would stop poking there noses into her business.

Ursula is beset with more than a passing problem as she tries to kill off her pseudonym and escape the law. Will Ursula get away with murder, or will all her efforts come undone with the paparazzi, a postman and an imposter on her trail?

The Truffle War

Can a 300kg pig called Marmalade save the day?

How Mona Blyte, a cranky old lady, manages a dodgy developer, a French chef and a Professor of history all depends on Marmalade's truffle hunting skills.
What could possibly go wrong?

Mr Tripp buys a Lifestyle

Does living the dream come with a guarantee?
Colin and Viv buy a 'bargain boat' with a romantic idea of the sea. Balmy nights in tropical waters - it all seems so idyllic.
What they get is a bucket load of troubles, myriad of mishaps - plus some fun. Albeit with the aid of an assortment of characters who all seem to be an expert about something.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: I'd rather glue me nut sack to a bullet train: A hilarious trip in outback Australia (8 Great Laugh out loud series Book 2)
Description: When Hakim lands in Australia, he hitches a ride with Bluey and they set out on a road trip to the big smoke.

It's a steep learning curve for a new arrival.

From up shit creek to sweet as a nut Hakim learns what it is to be an Aussie.

Of course, there is more to the yarn than a couple of coldies, a set of false teeth and a dog the farts, much more.

Strewth, where do ya start ...
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Murder! Mayhem! and Lesser Cuts of Meat: Tomfoolery and jocularity over a light supper. (8 Great Laugh out loud series Book 3)
Description: It will be a close run thing if the villagers can pull off the madcap caper of the year.

The village of Beetling Down has a centenarian in its midst, but when she pops her clogs before her candles are lit its bound to be a bit of a bother.
How to pull a switch, cater for a light supper for royalty and evade the police all comes down to timing, and more get up and go than a pig on a butcher's block.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Boat to Baguette: A humorous memoir of a sea change to a French adventure
Description: How hard can it be to buy a house in France?

From living on a boat in the tropics of Australia to moving to France. Two Aussie adventurers begin the hilarious rollercoaster ride to live the dream.
They get wonderful neighbours, horrible drains, fabulous wines and French taxes.
A humorous look at embracing the two-hour lunch ... with wine while trying to fathom the French.

★Author interview

Did all these things really happen?

Absolutely. It may sound like we lurch from one disaster to the next, but sometimes we had a win. Our boating days made us ready for anything. Our French adventures cemented that saying.

Did you ever dream you would have a seachange and live in France?

Life is made up of the chances you take and your willingness to change. We didn’t think we’d spend years living on a boat. We didn’t think we’d buy a house in France, but when an idea gets into your brain, sometimes you just need to run with it. It makes life interesting.

You left us wanting more. Is there more to the story?

Yes. Living it up in France is the second humorous memoir. I pick up where we left off in Boat to Baguette and in this second memoir we get to go some amazing places in France. The champagne district, the Somme, Belgium and all on a motorbike. The fun times make all the renovation disasters worthwhile.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Barney's Test by Hettie Ashwin (2014-12-24)
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Fat Bits: A hilarious look at sex. (8 Great Laugh out loud series Book 1)
Description: Evelyn's biological clock is a time bomb, according to her sister, Joy.

When Joy finds, via the internet, a woman on average has 8 sexual partners before finding Mr Right, Evelyn decides to go fishing.

As her father often says, "There are plenty of fish in the sea." Evelyn just needs to find out if love and sex are related - or even in the same boat.

But, with her sexual education comes her realization, she will need a special kind of lure to land her catch of the day♥

★Author interview

Why FAT BITS?

I wrote the book trying to bring a bit of fun to the subject of sex. When A and B don't always go together. There are plenty of titilation books, but FAT BITS is when some things, despite your best efforts go awry. I really enjoy humour and writing humorous books is just about the best occupation a person can get. I laugh at my own jokes, so there is something wrong with me, or my writing is funny. I hope it is the latter.

Is Evelyn based on anyone?

No, not at all. Would you expect me to say anything else! The dating game is fraught with awkward moments. I tried to bring a little light-hearted fun to the proceedings as Evelyn tries to find love.

Do you have other hilarious fun reads?

Yes. FAT BITS, the humorous side of sex, is one of 8 humorous books in the *Laugh out loud series. They are situation comedy and all a bundle of fun.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: Mr Tripp Buys a Lifestyle: A rib-tickling look at buying a boat (8 Great Laugh out loud series Book 7)
Description: Does living the dream come with a guarantee?

Colin and Viv buy a 'bargain boat' with a romantic idea of the sea.

Balmy nights in tropical waters - it all seems so idyllic.
What they get is a bucket load of troubles, myriad of mishaps - plus some fun.

Albeit with the aid of an assortment of characters who all seem to be an expert about something.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: The Mask of Deceit: A speculative fiction race against time
Description: Imagine a world after carbon trading, after conglomerate GM food production, after the virus. This is Anton's world.

When his partner Buloké disappears, Anton sets out in search of her. Leaving the city and the only life he has ever known, Anton embarks on a journey to a place that to him is only legend.

Fighting for his life against a controlling government, hoards of rapacious arthropods, and the freezing cold, Anton discovers a whole new world. A world he didn't believe existed. What he learns in this wondrous place will change his life forever and set him on a quest to fight for truth against a government rife with corruption and deceit.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: The Truffle War: An oddball comedy of errors (8 Great Laugh out loud series Book 6)
Description: Can a 300kg pig called Marmalade save the day?

How Mona Blyte, a cranky old lady, manages a dodgy developer, a French chef and a Professor of history all depends on Marmalade's truffle hunting skills.
What could possibly go wrong?
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: After the Rains & other Stories: Australian short stories
Description: This collection leads the reader on a scintillating roller coaster ride of emotions, with a generous serving of laughter, a hint of pepper and spices, and a back taste of deception. With distinctive and captivating voices, the stories give layers of wit and wisdom, and can be enjoyed on their own, or with company.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: A Shilling on the Bar: A collection of, believe it or not, Australian yarns
Description: If you put a shilling on the bar for a beer, which cost 8 pence, then your change might be a story of the outback.
A Shilling on the Bar is a collection of short stories that have been collected by Trododniak Weatherness, Senior Magistrate as he travelled his circuit in far North Queensland. The 16 stories are titled by the character's name and each carries an introductory photo of the era sourced from the John Oxley Library, State Library of Queensland.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: A STRANGE KIND OF PARADISE. A life worth living: novella about decisions, big decisions
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: The Crowing of the Beast
Brand: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E

Product: The Reluctant Messiah: A light-hearted look mistaken identity (8 Great Laugh out loud series Book 4)
Description: What can one man do in the face of mounting evidence?

James Caldercott is just an ordinary man with an extraordinary set of circumstances. Born to Joseph and Mary he lives an unblemished life. Is it any wonder he lives on Jerusalem drive.
With the media hungry for

What's Hot and What's Not

, James is catapulted into the spotlight as the reluctant Messiah.
It will take more than someone to deny him three times for James to get his life back.
It will take a miracle.
Relevance (ESCI, E=Exact S=Substitute C=Complement I=Irrelevant): E