
Ah, we are looking for good people just like you. We are a very concerned
group of citizens who are absolutely disgusted at the way that the majority
of drivers simply disobey traffic rules like going above the speed limit,
passing on our right, and riding our tails, while all the while we respectfully
abide by the rules of this great country and maintain the mandated speed
limits with our calibrated, certified cruise controls, while keeping the
respectful 1.5 car length distance/10 mph speed. How many times have you been
ticked off by some moron who jumps ahead in the (5.5 * 1.5)8.25 car lengths 
that you have left between you and the vehicle ahead of you while driving
55 mph? Finally you have an option. We are a totally member supported group
that perform functions for our own good, for the good of this great country  but MOST of all for those unfortunate ones that are too stupid to realize it,
bless their souls. For a paltry $10, you can join Citizens for Rationally 
Advanced Piloting(C.R.A.P), a non-profit, members only, society. But, but,but,
there is a slight hitch, the initiation rite. To be a full fledged member of
this exclusive club, you must proof that you are able to be in the fast lane of
the busiest interstate in your area, keep the correct 1.5 car lenth/10 mph speedand I know this can be difficult with those morons around, NOT let anybody pass
you, not in the next lane, not in the slow lane, not in the breakdown lane,
not NOWHERE. For a complete list of acceptable interstates and times, send $5.
And by the way, over 90% of our members are highly regarded attorneys in the
auto field and they are completely, absolutely positively in the business ONLY
to serve your best interests. As a testament to their virtues, they will give
members 90% off the initial consultation fee. Feel free to drop me a line at
your earliest convenience and remember, only SPEED kills!