
I don't agree, but I can only speak for myself.  I have a good friend
whose lifestyle is very sinful.  Do I hate the things she does to herself
and others?  Yes.  Do I hate her?  Absolutely not.  In fact, she tells me
repeatedly that I am the best friend she has in the world.  I care about
her very much despite the fact that I hate how she lives her life.

It's very easy to fall into the progression you describe above.  I've
felt it with my friend more than once.  There is a very important 
part of Christianity that you've overlooked above and makes it possible
to "love the sin but hate the sinner."  Before I look at someone
else's life and sin, I look to myself and am as disgusted by what I see
in *me* as I see in others, probably more.  Self-righteousness is
contradictory to Christianity and is what makes the progression you
describe happen.  If a Christian can truthfully quote Paul and say, "Wretched
man that I am!" [Romans 7:24 (NASB)], that Christian will be able
to love the sinner and hate the sin.  If we have the attitude of the Pharisee 
who said, "I thank Thee that I am not like other men..." [Luke 18:11 (NASB)],
we will hate both.

  -- Scott at Brandeis