I think Amy is a little harsh on the bride. It takes time to find a venue, which often has to be booked months in advance. Out of town guests need advance notice. You're asking the bride to choose bf's mother over her own family/friends, and I think it's fair that this is a hard choice for her.

But why make these your only two options, to do it sooner or later, all or nothing? I suggest you hold a small ceremony with LW's mother and whatever guests can make it. Have them over to yours or a friend's house, anyone with a backyard will do. Put up decorations, set up some chairs, walk down the aisle, and serve cake and punch. Then have a larger ceremony at your leisure.

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