It is an entirely unforgiving and often heartbreaking trait . So now I cherish the past and struggle with the prospect of the future . There is not a fucking doubt in my mind that this will be worth it . He is my world , and my deepest , my only love .

Question: why does she struggle about the prospects of the future ?
Answer: she is worried about studiesshe like breaking heartsshe is worried about his friendsshe 's worried she wo n't find another like him