This manifests itself in my not returning phone calls , not being available when others need me , not taking the time to demonstrate proper gratitude for kindness shown to me , and in others ways selfish , immature and irresponsible . There are some people in my life who would be shocked to hear me say these things about myself . I have been a volunteer minister for many years , and they have seen me devote most of my time to helping others . In some ways I have been very good at this and received much commendation for it .

Question: Why would certain people be surprised and shocked to hear you speak this way ?
Answer: They are not used to hearing me talk openly about myselfThey are used to a particular part of me which they are accustomed to seeing and knowing and not that part of me which is selfishThe are more used to me always being dishonest with themThey are accustomed to me hiding my true feelings , not knowing what I actually and generally feel