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Item #: SCP-2490
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: All Foundation personnel are to be informed of SCP-2490's properties, and are encouraged to inform their Site Director if they suspect pursuit by SCP-2490. Mobile Task Force Alpha-5 ("Honor Guard") is to monitor any compromised personnel at all times, and incapacitate SCP-2490 if possible. Mobile Task Force Psi-7 ("Home Improvement") is currently tracking down anomalous objects believed to have been stolen by SCP-2490.
Personnel compromised by SCP-2490 are to be placed on indefinite paid leave and their security clearance is to be immediately revoked. Any anomalous object that the compromised personnel worked with should be moved to secondary classified locations at the discretion of the Site Director. If the object cannot be moved, then all security measures (codes, guard schedules, modular perimeter defenses) around it are to be modified immediately, with an emphasis on constant in-person surveillance. Employees attacked by SCP-2490 should be transferred to Site-44A (Foundation Center for Neurological Disease).
Description: SCP-2490 refers to a modified human being, believed to be Chaos Insurgency Special Operative Alpha-19, that has stalked at least ██ Foundation employees since 19██. SCP-2490's head is composed of a single, oblong beige capsule, on which two eyes have been painted and no other facial features are present. Its body consists of multiple white, jointed segments. SCP-2490 possesses claws that appear to be grafted to its hand pods. Based on target testimony, however, most observers perceive it as an ordinary human being.
SCP-2490 displays behavior consistent with game stalkers, identifying a person (or multiple persons) and methodically stalking them, usually through urban and rural areas. The target is (or will become) immune to the mechanism that SCP-2490 uses to disguise itself, but SCP-2490 makes no attempt to disguise its behavior if spotted. Targets have often reported seeing normal persons transform into SCP-2490 before it begins pursuit. SCP-2490 will pursue the target for anywhere between several hours and several months, often showing itself to the target from a range before fleeing. As a result of this behavior, targets usually express lack of sleep, extreme paranoia, introversion, and a phobia of mannequins.
Targets uniformly report SCP-2490 either moving towards them without moving its legs (with its arms outstretched) or scuttling in a matter akin to a crab. SCP-2490 appears to have a type of short-range teleportation (although another hypothesis is that there are multiple instances of SCP-2490). In one instance, SCP-2490's target locked it in a closet, then turned around to see SCP-2490 emerging from a nearby bathroom. Eventually, targets are found unconscious, with puncture marks in their skull. MRI scanning reveals that brain tissue from the cerebellum, hippocampus, cerebral cortex, and random sections of the frontal, parietal, and temporal lobes has been removed and replaced with a fluid similar to SCP-████'s secretions.
Following an attack, a random SCP that the target previously worked with will disappear. How the object is removed is unknown, as no security measures are activated and no witnesses are ever present. Surveillance footage shows no abnormalities besides a consistent 0.5 second period of static, during which time the object disappears. Attempts to watch anomalous objects in-person result in brief periods of vision failure (usually through malfunctioning lights, human error, or optical instrument failure) during which time the object disappears.

 Interview with Dr. Feldman

– hide block

Dr. Arnold Feldman was the seventh Foundation employee pursued by SCP-2490. This interview was taken shortly before full compromise.

Interviewer: Good morning, Dr. Feldman.
Feldman: Yes, yes, good - good morning.
Interviewer: Doctor, we would like to collect some information from you on the SCP that has been pursuing you.

Feldman: What do you want - what do you want to know about it?
Interviewer: What do you know about SCP-2490?
Feldman: Nothing! I know it's an SCP, I know it can teleport, I know it terrorizes Foundation employees, I know it does something to their heads. I know it ruined my marriage! That's it.
Interviewer: When did you first encounter SCP-2490?
Feldman: It was… it was about six months ago. I was going to pick up my daughter from school; she was being released for the summer. While I was walking to the school, I tripped by this alleyway, and while I was getting up, I saw it. It was hiding in the alley, and as soon as it saw me see it… it ran. At first - at first, you know, I didn't understand what I saw, you know, so I… I passed it off as a trick of the smog. So much smog in the city you can't see past your own two feet, you know. But I couldn't get it out of my head. That face and the way- the way it was staring at me. Like a… I don't… It was just two eyes and nothing else. Just two blue eyes, staring at me. Just… those eyes.
Interviewer: When did you next see SCP-2490?
Feldman: It was… it was about a week later, I think. I was on my way to Site 33, and I heard a rustling sound. It was quiet, almost unnoticeable, and then I saw it again, scuttling down the road. Like a crab. I saw this… thing. Like a mannequin made of, I don't know, gigantic plastic pills. It was on its back, and running on its arms and legs. And the scuttling. It was this horrid rattling noise that got quieter as it moved around the corner. I just… couldn't believe what I saw. I assumed that it had to be hallucinations because of - because of this project I was working on. I don't think I'm allowed to tell you anything about that, sorry.
Interviewer: That's all right. Please continue discussing your experiences with SCP-2490.
Dr. Feldman pauses to collect his thoughts.
Feldman: I just kept seeing it. Not all the time mind you, just enough to make sure that as soon as I'd put it out of my mind, I'd see it again! Walking around the corner, scuttling into buildings, running over rooftops, vanishing into crowds. Nobody noticed the damn thing. And I was still on the project, so I wasn't worried. But then it started getting closer and closer. And its arms were - they were outstretched. These fucking plastic claws, reaching for me like it was running a marathon! And I realized there was something off about it. It was moving towards me all the damn time… but it never moved its fucking legs! But it wasn't floating! It was literally…
Dr. Feldman takes several deep breaths.
Feldman: I stopped working on the project, and that's where it got worse. At first it was little things. Sounds behind me. Thumping noises. Squeaks. Humming. Things moving - just a little bit, maybe a few centimeters. This feeling every time I was in even a bit of darkness - like something was staring at me. I started seeing flashes of it. Out of the corner of my eye. One night, see, I stared out the window, and I saw it! Barely lit by the neighbor's garage lights, prowling in their fucking yard before running off into the woods, like it saw me see it. I went over the next day, and I saw these tracks in the snow. Just these fat round circles, like something on a pod or a pogo stick or something. No animal I've heard of has fat circles for feet. I work on the computer the next night and I hear noises. Thumping noises, like there's something on the roof and I look at those - those little slanted windows on the roof, like a sunroof for a house? I look at those and its face is pressed up against the glass. Me staring at it. Its eyes squeezing against the window, boring into my goddamn soul before it just squirms off…
Interviewer: Around this time, you alerted the Foundation to SCP-2490, correct?
Feldman: Yes, around then! I got yelled at a bit by my supervisor, and then got some security measures and an MTF guard. Security measures, hah!
Dr. Feldman begins hyperventilating briefly before calming himself down.
Feldman: Right around the time the family got back from vacation, it got worse. I got sleeping pills just so I could do without a nightlight - couldn't let them know what was wrong. Then it ramped up. I started seeing it in my peripheral vision. Turn the corner, bam it's there. Walk into a room, bam it's walking out another door! It was random, like one week it wouldn't be there and the next day I wake up and bam it's waltzing out of my bloody bedroom! Do you know what that does to a man? That security system you set up detected absolutely jack shit! Your damn MTFs saw nothing! I'm the only one who sees it. Not the security system or those buffoons in uniform. Parvati and Dani notice I'm on edge, but what do I tell them? Sorry, I'm just being hunted by a demonic mannequin?
Dr. Feldman begins to shiver and wraps his arms around his body. The interviewer stands up to raise the temperature of the interviewing room.
Feldman: Don't go! You leave and it's just me and it! One night, see, I'm brushing my teeth. I was on edge, but I hadn't seen it in a few days. Then as I'm staring into the mirror, I see it! Its head, just rising out of the bathtub! There's not even enough to room to lie down in that tub but this thing was rising out of that bathtub like it was growing! Two beady little eyes on a fat beige pill of a head! I whipped around and there was nothing there except a thumping sound. Like somebody walked out of that bathroom. So I went out and bought an axe. The next day, I'm working on a project report and I hear a buzzing noise. I look to my left and it's just standing there, watching me with these beady blue eyes and these horrible claws on its arms clasped together! Then I blink… and it's gone! Three days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink and grabbed that axe. As I passed by my daughter's room, I heard something moving around. Do you know what I saw when I opened the door?
Interviewer: SCP-2490, I presume.
Feldman: Nothing! Just Dani murmuring in her sleep! Nothing there! So I turn around and guess what! It's right at the end of the hall! I pissed myself, you understand? I turned around and I was face to face with that thing! And then it slips into my bedroom! I - I charge into the bedroom with that axe and there is nothing there except my wife, awake and staring at me with an axe in my hands! The next day, Parvati took my daughter and they went to live with her parents. What can I do? I can't go after them - what if it does too?
Interviewer: Have you seen SCP-2490 since then?
Feldman: Yes… following me on the way here. I lost it about a mile back…
Interviewer: Thank you, Dr. Feldman. Dr. Krishnamoorthy will be here shortly.
Feldman: Wait! I'm not done! There's something else about it. I've been noticing something else about it. Sometimes it's - sometimes it's smaller than usual. Like, it's sometimes only two-thirds as large as it usually is. I think there's more -
At this point, the lights in the interview room cut out for approximately 3.5 seconds. The interviewer reported hearing a shuffling sound and a brief gasp before the lights turned back on, at which point Dr. Feldman was found unconscious on the ground, apparently victim to SCP-2490.

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LOGIN CONFIRMED

The following document was acquired from a GOC database during the events of [REDACTED].
Threat ID: KTE-4622-Velveteen "Hunting Mannequin"
Authorized Response Level: 4 (Severe Threat)
Description: Animate plastic mannequin. Stalks and hunts GOC operatives for a random period of time, causing psychological trauma, before attacking and removing brain matter in an unknown fashion. Appears to have form of psychic camouflage similar to KTE-9732-L'engle-Corona, instantaneous transportation abilities. Following an attack, smaller animate mannequins that resemble the object will infiltrate GOC bases and steal other anomalous objects present onsite. Security measures are not tripped, and witnesses report seeing qualified personnel removing the stolen objects with proper identification and passes. Security cameras are able to catch the objects on recorded footage, although live footage does not show the objects. Their primary objective is unknown.
Rules of Engagement: All GOC operatives have been informed of the object's properties, and are encouraged to inform Strike Team 2374 "Beetlejuice" if they suspect pursuit by the object. Strike Team "Beetlejuice" has been equipped with incineration weapons and high-molar acid sprayers. All GOC bases have been upgraded with flame-based security measures. General security protocols for personnel and bases and termination protocols for anomalous objects have been updated to prevent compromise by KTE-4622.
History: First sighted near Bilibino Nuclear Power Plant in northern Russia by GOC operative "Chaplin", following a joint termination operation with GRU Division "P" of LTE-1723-Scarlet Green-Mendel in 1965. Several more agents were stalked and harassed by the object throughout Europe for the next several years. In 1981, following the disappearance of Agent "Pinocchio", several GOC bases were infiltrated by animate mannequins resembling the object, which stole various other anomalous objects scheduled for termination. All witnesses reported seeing qualified personnel take the object, stating that they provided proper clearance. Only standard checks of security footage caught these discrepancies. As of 1990, no less than 75 GOC personnel and 45 anomalous objects have been compromised by the objects. Operatives within the Foundation report affiliation with the group the Chaos Insurgency.

The following document was acquired from a raid on a Chaos Insurgency base of operations [DATA REDACTED PER O5 COMMAND]. Certain information has been redacted.

DeCIRO Catalogue Number: SC-59/471-68/666
Document Type: Step Compilation
Dates Received: 06-04-59 through 11-28-68
Operation Status: Open
Foreword: We know not from whence it came, only that its assault is relentless. Friend to neither beast nor man, the Mannequin and its children draw ever closer.
It feeds on our men and its children on our possessions; hiding in the shadows will not deter them, so let us hide in plain sight. When the time comes, we of the Insurgency will pass this plague onto our foes as it was passed on to us.
Hereafter we of Delta Command document the Steps of the Plan as transcribed by the Engineer of the Chaos Insurgency.
1. STEP 59/471
On September 11th, the Mannequin will target the Gamma-class personnel [REDACTED] in Base 24. Tell all other personnel in the base that he has been infected by an anomalous pathogen, is being kept on for study, and the only way to stay clean is to ignore his talk of being stalked.
2. STEP 60/756
Open the Golden Gateway, currently housed in Base 13, and allow the creatures that exit to escape. Ensure that the Alpha-Class personnel [REDACTED] are allowed to escape, but modify their seeker microchips so that they are directed to any Gamma-class Foundation or GOC moles.
3. STEP 60/034
The Mannequin's progeny will assault Base 24 on November 6th. Evacuate all objects except Hippolyta's Girdle and the All-Seeing Eye; those are useless at this point anyways. Evacuate all Gamma personnel; leave an armed contingency of Beta-class security personnel and Alpha-class standard personnel to defend the base from the Progeny.
4. STEP 63/034
Have the Shifting Child delivered to the Russian liaison on October 17th. Bring its controlling sash and a fake sash. Give the Russian the fake sash and make sure that the delivering personnel leave immediately following payment.
5. STEP 68/666
The Beta-class personnel [REDACTED] plans to defect. Have two Gamma-class personnel discuss the Mannequin near her, pretending that it is an Alpha-class personnel modified with anomalous objects. The Gamma-class personnel are not to mention the Progeny.

« SCP-2489 | SCP-2490 | SCP-2491 »


Item #: SCP-2491
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2491 is to be contained within an outdoor enclosure, with 20 km between the structure and the edge of the containment enclosure; in the northern direction, the boundaries are to be no more than 5 km apart. The enclosure area is to be designated a no-fly zone. CCTV cameras are installed along the fence-line in all directions at 30 m intervals. Additional CCTV cameras have been placed directly inside or around the structure for observation purposes. Observation should be maintained at all times. Civilians attempting to enter or successfully entering the containment enclosure are to be apprehended and administered class A amnestics as required.
SCP-2491-1 instances attempting to scale the containment fencing are to be redirected through the use of amplified auditory and olfactory stimuli belonging to predators of the European honey bee. Research personnel entering SCP-2491 for direct observation and exploration purposes are to observe standard biological safety protocols, and don typical bee protection gear.
Description: SCP-2491 is a large geological structure closely resembling hives of the European honey bee, located 60 km south of Edinburgh, Scotland. The structure is approximately 200 meters in diameter, and has a single large 5 m opening on the southern face. The interior of SCP-2491 resembles the standard hive structure of the European honey bee, including topographical vertical honeycomb layers with the presence of multiple caverns, several of which contain furniture and decorations commonly present in western social establishments.
SCP-2491 is populated by a number of anomalous entities that take on the appearance and demeanor of the various film and book iterations of fictional British spy James Bond, hereby dubbed SCP-2491-1. SCP-2491-1 instances are notable in that they wear formal attire and are able to perform a number of seemingly impossible biological feats which parallel normal biological functions of the European honey bee. SCP-2491-1 instances are organized into functional roles based on appearance. These functional roles appear to parallel the castes of a standard European honey bee colony, and are described below.
SCP-2491 has one SCP-2491-1 instance which presides over all other iterations, paralleling the queen in a normal bee colony. This "ruling caste" has the following attributes:

Appearance resembles that of actor Sean Connery in the 1962 Bond film Dr. No.
Smokes what are believed to be Cuban cigars.
Lays 300 eggs (Each 50 cm in diameter) every 24 hours.
Secretes a large number of pheromones which appear to dictate the behavior of all other SCP-2491-1 instances.

Outside of this ruling caste, SCP-2491-1 instances can be broken down into drones, workers, and larvae. The drone caste performs analogous functions to the drones of a normal Bee colony, usually expiring shortly after fertilizing the queen. Composition of this caste is described below:

Composed of multiple iterations of Bond's creator, Ian Fleming.
Acts and behaves similar to that of the written characterizations of his Bond characters.
Engages with the ruling caste in a series of seductive attempts to ritualistically procreate, often using phrases such as "I have tasted your mind and cannot forget its flavor" alongside various impressive physical feats to court the Queen.
Expires shortly after fertilizing the queen.1

The majority of SCP-2491-1 instances are members of the workers caste. Workers carry out a number of roles, and are split into three subdivisions based on unknown predetermined characteristics. These three subdivisions are described below:

Maintenance and Transport workers:

Composed of iterations resembling actors Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton.
Are responsible for maintenance of the hive structure, often wielding overly complex construction tools.
Generate copious amounts of wax from their bodies.
Transport nectar and royal jelly through the hive. Notably, SCP-2491-1 instances appear to mention royal jelly as "Her Majesty O'Connery's fantastic Jelly".
Several instances will regularly take collected nectar and synthesize large amounts of alcoholic beverages, especially Martinis.2
Instances remove flowers from foragers directly, and will proceed to chew, swallow, and regurgitate the items until it takes on a mint coloration, at which point they will regurgitate it into a nearby honeycomb.

Mortuary and Nurses:

Iterations resemble actor George Lazenby.
Engage in nursing behavior with larval Bond iterations, providing sustenance through self-secreted jelly and Martinis.
Engage in mortuary behavior, moving expired Bond iterations 2 km from the structure.
During burial and mourning procedures, SCP-2491-1 instances will bow their heads briefly.3 Following this motion, instances will procure bottles of liquor, alternating between drinking the substance and pouring it onto the site of the burial, while uttering witticisms about the nature of the instance's death.

Foraging/Scouts:

SCP-2491-1 iterations closely resemble actor Pierce Brosnan's portrayal of Bond in the 2002 film Die Another Day.
Engage in collection of pollen, nectar, and large amounts of flowering plants by bending at the waist and pressing their faces into the interior of brightly colored species of flowers. Following this gesture, instances are observed to gently remove the flowering part of the plant, and place it within a concealed cavity on their abdomen. Forays of this kind are noted to occur within a 10km radius of the structure, with the exception of the northern direction where instances have been observed to venture no more than 5km away.4
During scouting/foraging efforts, instances will move through the forest in a non-linear manner, taking diagonal routes between open walking spaces. Observation has shown that instances will in fact roll from tree to tree, pressing their backs against the tree following each roll.
Following a successful foraging effort, Instances will engage in a series of ritualistic dances, emulating several complex ballroom style techniques.5 These dances are usually performed with another member of the foraging/scouting subrole and can last up to 3 hours.

The larval caste is composed of young and freshly hatched Bond iterations, where all SCP-2491-1 appear as miniature versions of actor Daniel Craig's portrayal of the character in the film Casino Royale. As larva matures into fully grown Bond iterations, they will take on the appearance and mannerisms of their specific caste. Larva marked to become members of the ruling caste are fed "Her Majesty O'Connery's fantastic Jelly" by their attending nurse Bonds at which time they begin to take on the appearance of Sean Connery.
Attempts to establish communication with SCP-2491-1 instances have been met with aggressive action, resulting in the deaths of ██ field personnel6 and ██ injuries.
Observation Log O-2491-01
The following section is composed of a synopsis of remote CCTV observations from SCP-2491.

Date and time of Observation: June 5th, 2013 13:43:00 - 13:59:00
Summary: A recently installed CCTV camera within the structure's "Royal" honeycomb section record a complete fertilization ritual involving a single drone and the ruling caste individual at that time. Video log transcriptions have been edited to remove extraneous conversation.
Begin Log
A single drone instance enters the chamber from the northwest face, from a hole 30 meters above the floor. The instance is noted to be wearing a pair of tight checkered pants, and no shirt or shoes. The drone begins climbing down the honeycomb slowly. The drone's back is noted to display several large, bony skin-covered protrusions atypical of human anatomy.7 The drone climbs from the hole to approximately 3 meters above the floor of the chamber, at which time the instance looks over its shoulder before pushing off from the wall, flipping midair, and landing upright, one arm stretched behind itself, and the other extended forwards offering what is noted to be a single red carnation.
The ruling instance at the time is noted to have shown no perceivable reaction to this display. Following the drone's landing, approximately 10 seconds of silence pass before the ruling instance rises.
Drone: Bond, James Bond, at your service.
The drone maintains position as the ruling instance claps slowly 3 times, before descending from its throne.
Queen: Congratulations Mr. Bond, your physical prowess precedes you.
The ruling instance stops at the base of the honeycomb steps, pausing for a moment before continuing its speech.
Queen: Tell me, why should you be the one to foster the next brood?
The drone maintains its stance, red carnation still presented forward.
Drone: I'm giving you the opportunity to make the hive as brilliant as myself.
The ruling instance is observed to smirk at this comment.
Queen: I am giving you the chance to shake, and not stir.
Drone: Funny, I don't see any bubbles.
The ruling instance laughs for 10 seconds.
Queen: Wit and physical prowess. Impressive, Mr. Bond. Very impressive.
Drone: Tell me, your majesty, do you like wild things?
Queen: Wild? You should be locked up in a honeycomb, with me.
The drone is observed to abandon its previous stance as the ruling instance makes several hand gestures. The drone approaches the ruling instance and hands it the carnation, bowing its head briefly. The ruling instance presses its nose into the flower, and visibly inhales.
Queen: Ah, carnations, my favorite.
Drone: I have a particular knack for finding red flowers.
Queen: Perhaps I shall call you Iron.
The Drone and ruling instance are observed to begin what is now believed to be the fertilization ritual, beginning when the ruling instance opens 3 [DATA EXPUNGED].
The ruling instance is observed standing over the drone after the fertilization ritual has finished. The drone's body is positioned in a manner such that observation of the head and neck regions are impossible, with the ruling instance blocking them from view. The ruling instance's abdomen is noted to be swollen, especially in and around typical locations of the gastrointestinal tract.
Queen: Such a shame, he didn't even finish his Martini.
The queen is observed to take 5 steps away from the drone, in the direction of the throne chamber, before stopping midstride and rotating its head 180 degrees, dried green fluid dripping from its mouth. The drone's body is observed to have been severed at the neck.
Queen: Seems he lost his head in the pursuit of love.

Footnotes
1. Cause of death in all recovered instances has been due to severing of the spinal cord at the neck.
2. Agitated with a tool, not gravity.
3. At intervals of no more than 3 seconds.
4. Although observation has shown that instances prefer to forage in the south and western directions, older instances tend to avoid forays north, possibly due to human population centers.
5. Often incorporating elements of Waltz, Mambo, Salsa, Merengue and occasionally West Coast Swing.
6. Cause of death was noted to have been due to severe anaphylactic shock and in some instances, blood loss due to impalement.
7. Procurement requests for live subjects are awaiting approval.

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« SCP-2490 | SCP-2491 | SCP-2492 »


SCP-2492 prior to containment.

Item #: SCP-2492
Object Class: Safe Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2492 is contained in a standard anomalous item locker at Site-17. SCP-2492 is not to be plugged in outside of testing.
Description: SCP-2492 is a bedside lamp measuring 370 x 100mm. SCP-2492's anomalous properties will activate when it is plugged into a standard BS-1363 wall socket, switched on and a single child between the age of eight and nine falls asleep within close proximity of SCP-2492. Several minutes after the child has fallen asleep, SCP-2492-1 will emerge midair within close range of SCP-2492.
SCP-2492-1 is a predominantly incorporeal entity resembling a disembodied right humanoid arm, with a maroon skin tone and severe bruising, scarring and several missing nails. SCP-2492-1 is capable of touching and feeling, displayed when grasping various furniture and other objects in its surroundings. SCP-2492-1 is capable of altering its own length by extending further from its manifestation point and shortening itself back towards it.
When manifesting, SCP-2492-1 will first emerge reaching outwards toward SCP-2492, and then begin feeling around the room until locating the child present. SCP-2492-1 will then attempt to move towards the childs head to feel their facial features in great detail. SCP-2492-1 will often interact with the child in various ways, such as stroking its fingers through their hair, resting its hand on them or brushing its hand against their cheek. After a varying period of time, it will move back towards SCP-2492 and switch it off before retreating back into its origin point and dissipating.
Children SCP-2492-1 has interacted with have shown no signs of distress or discomfort when touched by it, and will not awaken in its presence unless provoked by an outside source. If a child begins to awaken within its presence, SCP-2492-1 will retreat back to its manifestation point until de-manifesting.
Discovery Log: SCP-2492 was located in ██████, England in the house of Patrick ███████, after reports of an intruder infiltrating the premises and later being found deceased.
Police reports show that the criminal had infiltrated the house at night, and entered the room of Patrick ███████'s son, Gregory ███████ for unknown purposes. Interviews with Gregory ███████ revealed that the intruder had apparently been grabbed by what he described as a ‘floating hand' before killing them via strangulation, and then moving towards his bedside lamp and disappearing.
When interviewed, Patrick ███████ claimed that he had found the lamp while searching a spare room several weeks after moving in on ██/██/2014. The bedside lamp was later taken into Foundation custody and later given SCP status.
An investigation into past owners of the house containing SCP-2492 revealed it to have originally been purchased by the house's previous owners, Thomas ███████ and Margret █████████ (deceased, traffic collision). SCP-2492 had apparently been used by the couples' son, Milo ███████ as a bedside lamp. Thomas ███████ claimed that they had forgotten to bring SCP-2492 along with several other items when moving.
Addendum 2492-1: SCP-2492-1's physical state has begun showing increasing signs of damage with each manifestation, barring greater levels of damage to pre-existing scarring and bruising. These injuries do not appear to heal over time. SCP-2492-1 has shown increasing signs of discomfort, often trembling while moving and when pressure is applied to its injuries from objects it interacts with. Scarring and bruising appear to worsen as SCP-2492-1 emerges from its manifestation point, which may imply the act of manifesting itself to be responsible for its increase in damage. Despite these factors, SCP-2492-1 continues to manifest with each activation of SCP-2492, and continues its standard behavior despite its continued signs of physical distress.
Testing of SCP-2492 has also shown there to be a recurring change in SCP-2492-1's behavior when it interacts with children who share a distinct set of shaped facial features with one another, all of which appear to match that of Milo ███████'s (Details described in Document 2492-A). This change in behavior is expressed when SCP-2492-1 begins frantically feeling the child's face, after identifying facial features similarly shaped as described in Document 2492-A. Due to the age range of children which activate SCP-2492's anomalous effects and the current age of Milo ███████ exceeding this limit, search for children with almost identical facial features to Milo ███████ for use in testing has been approved.
Addendum 2492-2: On ██/██/████, a child with near-identical facial features to Milo ███████ was presented to SCP-2492. At this point in time, SCP-2492-1's physical injuries had significantly worsened; showing signs of intense pain even when simply making contact with the subject. After inspecting the subject's facial features for several seconds, SCP-2492-1 appeared to pause and repeat this process several times for the next few minutes. Afterwards, SCP-2492-1 remained still for several seconds while shaking intensely. SCP-2492-1 proceeded to wrap itself around the subject's head tightly and began stroking their cheek. Despite its condition, SCP-2492-1 continued this for approximately five hours, trembling while doing so. SCP-2492-1 retreated back to its origin point after the incident, appearing less agitated than previously.
Addendum 2492-3: SCP-2492-1 has not reappeared since the previously mentioned test. SCP-2492 no longer functions despite all attempted efforts to switch it on or replace the bulb. Due to this, SCP-2492 has been reclassified as Neutralized.

« SCP-2491 | SCP-2492 | SCP-2493 »


Item #: SCP-2493
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures (Revision 2): SCP-2493-1 is to be kept at Lunar Area-32 or at its designated containment chamber located 100km away, accessible by high-speed rail. SCP-2493-1 is to wear SCP-2493-2 whenever outside their designated containment chamber, and is to be restricted from attempting to leave their chamber until it is ensured SCP-2493-2 is correctly secured. SCP-2493-1 is to be provided with three meals each day, transmuted into antimatter by use of designated devices received from 2493'. (See Addendum 3.)
SCP-2493-1 is to be psychologically evaluated twice weekly, and medication to be administered as required.
A list of SCP-2493-1's requests for updated containment procedures is to be submitted to the Ethics Committee on a bi-weekly basis for review and approval or rejection. Proposals to rescind approved requests are to be submitted to the Ethics Committee; any other attempts by staff to impede approved requests will result in severe reprimands at the discretion of the Overseer Council. The full list of approved and rejected requests are outlined in Document 2493-1; “Approved & rejected requests by SCP-2493-1 for updates to containment procedures.”

Special Containment Procedures (Revision 1)

Note: These procedures are no longer in effect!

SCP-2493-1 is to wear SCP-2493-2 at all times. SCP-2493-1 is to be kept in its modified humanoid containment cell at Lunar Area-32. The cell is to be filled with pure helium gas at a pressure of approximately 20 kilopascals, and kept at a temperature of approximately 280 Kelvin. The interior of the room is to be kept above a minimum of 270 Kelvin, to ensure continued biological function of SCP-2493-1. The interior surface of SCP-2493-1's containment cell is to be padded with a three centimetre thick layer of soft rubber. No sharp corners or points are to be present within SCP-2493-1's cell; all such corners or points are to be removed or padded. In the event of SCP-2493-2 becoming punctured, it and SCP-2493-1 are to be immediately jettisoned from the facility. MTF Gamma-4 ("Blondebeard's Crew") is to be notified to adjust the trajectory of the anomaly as required, and to prevent it from entering the earth's atmosphere and causing a UK-Class Global Irradiation event.
SCP-2493-1 is to be supplied at least 2 kilograms of waste matter daily, to a maximum of 10 kilograms.
Once weekly, a signal requesting contact is to be sent through the extradimensional anomaly located on the rear of SCP-2493-2 by use of a 4 MHz radio wave. The entity is also to be under surveillance at all times, and any attempts to hinder communication with the entity's location of origin are to be reported to the site director immediately. (See Addendum 3.)
A list of SCP-2493-1's requests for updated containment procedures is to be submitted to the Ethics Committee on a bi-weekly basis for review and approval or rejection. Proposals to rescind approved requests are to be submitted to the Ethics Committee; any other attempts by staff to impede approved requests will result in severe reprimands at the discretion of the Overseer Council. The full list of approved and rejected requests are outlined in Document 2493-1; “Approved & rejected requests by SCP-2493-1 for updates to containment procedures.”

Description: SCP-2493 is the collective designation for two components; SCP-2493-1 and SCP-2493-2.
SCP-2493-1 is a male humanoid entity approximately 1.7 meters in height, and weighing approximately 95 kilograms. SCP-2493-1 is composed entirely of antimatter, but physically appears to be an ordinary human. SCP-2493-1 responds to the name of Joe Smith, and claims to originate from an alternate dimension composed primarily of substances with similar atomic composition to his. Psychological evaluation of SCP-2493-1 has revealed that it suffers from nostophobia1 and an obsession with completing their mission. (See Addendums)
SCP-2493-2 is a suit composed entirely of a previously undiscovered and currently poorly-understood substance that SCP-2493-1 refers to as ‘Buffer', superficially resembling an airtight type 1 hazmat suit. This substance is entirely non-baryonic in nature, uniformly reflects all wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation resulting in a mirrored surface, and is also capable of preventing interaction between matter and antimatter. These properties prevent the contents of anything composed of this material from being examined by use of X-ray scanning, and severely impede physical examination. The material comprising SCP-2493-2 is flexible in a manner comparable to rubber, but has a texture consistent with polished metal. An impermeable barrier replaces the substance around SCP-2493-1's facial region, serving as a two-way visor. The interior of the suit is also capable of emitting light from an undetermined source, and will do so upon instruction by SCP-2493-1.
On the back of SCP-2493-2 is a multifunctional backpack that serves as an air recycler, a method of exchanging resources obtained by SCP-2493-1 for canned provisions,2 and an airtight input for canned provisions. SCP-2493-1 has never been observed to physically ingest these supplies; the entity states that this is attributable to nanites present within the interior of the suit, which constantly reassemble small sections of food within his mouth whenever available. It is theorized that the device is connected to SCP-2493-1's reality of origin via a stable extradimensional anomaly in the device, as this is the only reasonable explanation of how the provided waste materials can be converted into edible substances composed of antimatter.

+ Addendum 1: Information Summary

- Showing summary.

The following is a list of information regarding SCP-2493-1's origins, obtained during several interviews. It should be noted that the only source of such information is the entity itself, and as such cannot be confirmed to be factual. (See Addendum 3.)

SCP-2493-1 originates from an alternate reality (Henceforth 2493') consisting entirely of antimatter.

The society of 2493' has access to or has developed technology that is significantly more advanced than that of our own, with such technology requiring large quantities of electrical energy to operate, typically exceeding the range of petajoules on a daily basis.

Technology within 2493' approximately 200 years ago 173 years ago produced large quantities of waste materials as by-products of their operation. Such technology has since been adapted to recycle their waste materials. These produced waste materials were transported to a poorly-understood location of abnormal geometry, described as being physically located between two of the three axis present within normal three-dimensional space.

After an undefined period of time 40 years the inhabitants of this space began transporting their own waste materials to 2493', with several described objects exhibiting anomalous phenomena sufficient to be classified as SCPs. This prompted the inhabitants of 2493' to develop devices capable of severely hindering the transit of such waste material.

An unidentified object, presumed to be of abnormal geometric origin, initiated an XK-Class Vacuum Decay within 2493'. Technology developed specifically to counter such a scenario spontaneously activates, protecting a small portion of 2493' from the event; however, such technology is required to be powered continuously in order to sustain such protection.

Numerous working-class citizens of 2493' have been deployed to alternate realities to obtain matter and transport it back, for the purpose of powering antimatter reactors.

+ Addendum 2: Recovery interview log

- Showing log.

Interviewed: SCP-2493-1
Interviewer: Researcher ███
Foreword: This interview was conducted shortly after the acquisition of the entity, before the antimatter nature of SCP-2493-1 had been confirmed.
<Begin Log>
Researcher ███: What is the suit you are wearing made of?
SCP-2493-1: There's no atoms. Why are you detaining me?
Researcher ███: We need to ask you some questions. Why do you need the suit?
SCP-2493-1: Because you're made of antimatter.3 One plus negative one equals ka-fucking-boom.
Researcher ███: Would you care to elaborate upon your objective?
SCP-2493-1: I grab some of your stuff, send it back home. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as I send it back.
Researcher ███: What do you require the resources for?
SCP-2493-1: Fuel. The explosion makes a lot of energy, which can be turned into electricity. I need to get uhh… two… two? Yeah, two kilograms minimum of antimatter per day. I uh, think that's how much they said would keep everything powered at least. Or was it five?
Researcher ███: What are you referring to?
SCP-2493-1: Mainly home electrics, water recycling, food production and vehicle electricity. There's some more important things too, so could you please let me get back to work?
Researcher ███: If you are made of antimatter, aren't you aware of the ramifications that will occur if your suit is punctured?
SCP-2493-1: I die and my employers lose a supply line, it was on the contract. It's an acceptable loss, considering they can just find another source.
Researcher ███: It would be safer to simply send you back. If you cooperate, we should be able to devise a method of sending you back.
SCP-2493-1: You don't need to send me back, I'm fine here. Just let me stay.
Researcher ███: Why shouldn't we send you back?
SCP-2493-1: It's safer here. From what I've seen of here, we've been ahead of you in regards to technology for ages, but you've been able to handle waste much better than we did. We got lazy and sent it off to some vague location between dimensions for a couple of years, but as it turned out there were… things, living there, and seeing as we were fine with sending them our garbage, they seem to have decided to send their garbage to us as well. You know what sort of things that beings from between dimensions consider garbage?
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Theoretical calculations of the interaction of 2kg masses of matter and antimatter as described by SCP-2493-1 would produce 360 petajoules of energy; in comparison, the Three Gorges Dam in China, the world's largest power station as of writing, produces 356 petajoules of energy per year. Questioning SCP-2493-1 in regards to the technology necessitating electrical input at this magnitude on a daily basis is currently underway.

+ Addendum 3: Event logs

- Showing logs.

On ██/██/██, contact with 2493' was successfully established by use of a 4 MHz radio wave transmitted through the extradimensional anomaly located on the rear of SCP-2493-2. The superiors of SCP-2493-1 apologized for the extended period of time taken for them to respond, and requested to speak to SCP-2493-1 personally. Several of SCP-2493-1's claims, as well as additional false claims, were requested for confirmation to ensure that cooperative disinformation could not be attempted; all claims made by SCP-2493-1 (detailed in Addendum 1) were clarified and confirmed as true, with all additional false claims being denied. SCP-2493-1 was allowed to communicate with his superiors, and was noted to praise Lunar Area-32 staff repeatedly throughout their conversation, promoting trading prospects.

On ██/██/██, negotiations for trade between representatives of 2493' and the O5 Council was conducted. It was agreed that in return for digital information regarding assorted 2493' technology, the Foundation was to provide a continuous supply of matter in the form of waste material. The bulk of this waste material was sourced from the five major ocean gyres and various global landfills.
The majority of the information received from 2493' was oriented towards containment or destruction of anomalous entities, specializing in entities, objects or locations with abnormal geometric properties. Additional information enabled large advances in medical science, and artificial food production. Schematics for an antimatter reactor were also utilized to create the prototype FAM-Reactor.
Further negotiations were conducted to obtain controlled amounts of antimatter from 2493' in return for random samples of modern music.

On ██/██/██, Lunar Area-32 received a transmission from 2493' stating that several devices critical to the continued existence of 2493' were failing due to physical strain due to their extended usage. The Foundation was informed that while maintenance would delay total failure, 2493' was expected to be destroyed within a year.
Several weeks later a second transmission was received, stating that the devices preventing 2493' from receiving waste material from the location of abnormal geometry had outright failed, and that 2493' was now being overrun with severely detrimental anomalous objects. Staff at Lunar Area-32 was advised to prepare to receive several objects essential to ensuring SCP-2493-1's continued biological function. Several devices constructed of the same material as SCP-2493-2 manifested a short distance outside Lunar Area-32, including a large room with airlock capable of safely containing SCP-2493-1 in a vacuum environment, which has since been relocated away from the Area, connected via high-speed rail and further reinforced.

On ██/██/██, a large burst of digital information was received from 2493', primarily consisting of historic records of 2493', photographs of various regions of 2493' and several schematics for devices capable of recycling various non-biodegradable materials into reusable resources. All information received has been archived as required.
To date, no further transmissions have been received from 2493'.

Footnotes
1. The fear of returning home.
2. This feature has now become non-functional (See Addendum 3).
3. SCP-2493-1 speaks from the perspective that he is composed of matter, and by extension that everything else is composed of antimatter.

« SCP-2492 | SCP-2493 | SCP-2494 »


SCP-2494: Soft Hands
H E Y C H E C K O U T M Y S O F T H A N D S

▸ More by this Author ◂

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F.A.Q.

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Item #: SCP-2494
Object Class: Euclid (Keter classification pending)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2494 is currently uncontained. MTF Rho-14 ("Handschuhe") is tasked with tracking the origin of the phenomenon and suppressing public knowledge of outbreaks. All instances of SCP-2494-1 should be captured, euthanized, and cataloged. One instance of SCP-2494-1 per major species is to be kept in Site-73 specimen storage.
Description: SCP-2494 is a phenomenon whereby animals (SCP-2494-1) manifest human hands, integrated into their anatomy. To date, all instances of SCP-2494-1 have been vertebrates. The source and mechanisms of SCP-2494 are currently unknown, but the phenomenon has so far been centralized to the vicinity of the River Tweed along the Scottish/English border.
Hands related to SCP-2494 vary in size, but in SCP-2494-1 averaging more than 0.4m in length or 9 kg in weight are comparable to standard human hands. Hands typically occur (>90%) at the ends of forelimbs, less frequently (>60%) also on the hindlimbs. In rare instances, hands have been seen emerging from the cranium, along the spine, in place of the tail, or at the end of the nose. Hands are merged seamlessly with SCP-2494-1's physiology, and color varies according to the animal's own skin. DNA tests invariably return as that of the instance's species.
SCP-2494-1 are generally not impeded by these hands, except in cases where placement overbalances the instance. Fine manipulation is possible, though instances will only use their hands in this manner if such behavior is typical for their species. However, SCP-2494-1 have been discovered clutching letters and flyers; the origin of these is currently under investigation. (See Addenda 2494-02 and -05.)
Addendum 2494-01: Partial List of SCP-2494-1 Instances in Specimen Storage

Instance
Description
Notes

SCP-2494-1-03-A
Male Eurasian harvest mouse (Micromys minutus). Hands emerging from ends of forelimbs, 7mm long at the middle finger.
Instance was able to hold seeds for eating.

SCP-2494-1-07-C
Male European hare (Lepus europaeus). Hands connected to all four limbs.
Placement of hands on rear limbs impedes locomotion.

SCP-2494-1-10-F
Female European hedgehog (Erinaceus europaeus). Hand located at end of snout.
Instance dead when brought to Foundation custody.

SCP-2494-1-12-B
Male Old English Sheepdog (Canis lupus familiaris). Hand emerges from top of cranium.
Behavior consistent with breed. Currently kept alive in custody of MTF Rho-14 as morale booster.

SCP-2494-1-14-C
Male cattle (Bos primigenius taurus). Hands at ends of forelimbs and in place of horns.
Testing shows no appreciable difference between flavor of meat from body of SCP-2494-1-14 instances and meat from hands. Test subjects unanimously complain the latter is stringy or tough.

SCP-2494-1-18-A
Female little ringed plover (Charadrius dubius). Hands emerge from carpal bones, replacing wings.
Instance unable to fly. Hand bones pneumatized, consistent with other avian SCP-2494-1.

SCP-2494-1-42-A
Female Atlantic salmon (Salmo salar). Hand in place of dorsal fin.
See Addendum 2494-05

For full list of SCP-2494-1 specimens, contact Dr. ███████.

+ Addendum 2494-02: Collected SCP-2494 Communications

- Access granted

This is a short list of notes and flyers found held by SCP-2494-1 instances upon their recovery.
Item 1: Found in possession of SCP-2494-1-07-A, 14/05/2010, written on sticky note.

Superb Hands

Item 2: Found in possession of SCP-2494-1-10-F, 25/02/2012, written on torn lined notebook paper.

Are These Hands Loud Enough To Be Heard?
Soft Hands®

Note: No such trademark exists.
Item 3: Found in possession of SCP-2494-1-03-D, 03/03/2013, written on coiled strip of paper 0.7m long.

Do You Dream Of Hands? Do You Wonder What Type Of Hand Is Your Favorite? Do You Wish For Hands, Or More Hands? Do You Know What It Is Like, To Be Bereft Of Hands, Yet Consumed By Yearning For Them? Or Do You Merely Possess Them In Ignorance?

Item 4: Full color flyer found in possession of SCP-2494-1-12-A, 15/01/2014.

DO YOU LOVE HANDS?
ARE YOU A HUMAN, WITH HANDS OF YOUR OWN?
DO YOUR HANDS SUFFER FROM LACK OF SOFTNESS?
WORRY NOT! THERE IS A CURE!
TRY Soft Hands® TODAY!
DAY AND NIGHT THE SOFTEST HANDS AROUND!
(Not Available In All Communities)

+ Addendum 2494-05: Incident Report 2494-09

- Access granted

On 15/04/2015, a school of 13 Salmo salar SCP-2494-1 was observed in the River Tweed approaching Site-73. MTF Rho-14 was able to capture all instances and initiate counter-information procedures.
Each instance possessed a single hand in place of its dorsal fin, visible above waterline. Movement in water was somewhat clumsy. Each hand clutched a plastic bag containing a small sheet of paper, text reproduced below.

Greetings New Friends!
We Have Noticed You Watching With Your Eyes. Watching Them Fly, Swim And Crawl. We Are Joyful To Meet Others As Excited About Hands As We! We Hope You Appreciate These New Hands. Smell Them With Your Nose. Taste Them With Your Mouth. Touch Them With Your Hands. With Your Glorious, Gleaming Hands, Touch Them Upon Their Hands So Pure. May You Find Always Happiness In Hands!
Soft Hands®

Since this event, instances of SCP-2494-1 have appeared more frequently with less advantageously placed hands, and greater numbers of hands per instance. Instances bearing communications have also increased. Investigation is ongoing; classification upgrade to Keter pending review.

« SCP-2493 | SCP-2494 | SCP-2495 »


Item #: SCP-2495
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: MTF Rho-93 ("Say It Ain't Sokal") are currently responsible for having copies of SCP-2495 circulated in academic publications removed, and the persons responsible for their publication detained and amnesticised. An archival copy of SCP-2495 has been stored on the internal Hazardous Documents Database, with Level 2 personnel and above being able to view selected excerpts of the full text.
SCP-2495-A is to be contained in a standard Type-B Humanoid Containment Chamber in Site-43. Researchers in face-to-face contact with SCP-2495-A must change into a supplied full-body garment to prevent it from using its precognitive abilities in a potentially compromising manner. In addition to this, researchers should not be exposed to predictions of events that mention or otherwise relate to them, so as to avoid undue emotional impact as a result of predicted events.
SCP-2495-A is currently undergoing treatment for anxiety and insomnia caused by its anomalous abilities, and as such is required to attend weekly appointments with its assigned psychiatrist (currently Dr. Adileh Khayyam, Humanoid Anomaly Specialist).
Description: SCP-2495 is a novel interpretation of the James Joyce novel Ulysses, first published in the Journal of Modern Literature by a University of Dublin student named Myrna Callaghan (now SCP-2495-A.) The interpretation analyses the novel from a linguistic point of view using natural language processing1 techniques and other advanced computing concepts to further a thesis about the novel as commentary on the relationship between the modern Irishman and the Irish language.
SCP-2495 causes all those who read and comprehend its full text to gain heightened pattern recognition abilities over the course of several months. Initially, this simply manifests as an increased ability to recognise patterns in simple data such as numeric sequences — over time, the extent of this increases drastically so that affected subjects are capable of identifying seed values for pseudo-random number generators and performing other, highly difficult pattern recognition-based tasks.
As SCP-2495 infection progresses, subjects report an increase in migraines, elevated blood pressure and insomnia, presumably as a result of the compulsive pareidolia that affects them. Amnestic treatments have proven generally effective at curing SCP-2495 infection at any stage, with SCP-2495-A being the sole observed exception to this.
SCP-2495-A is a 27-year-old human female of Irish descent weighing approximately 83kg and standing 155cm tall. It claims its infection predates the completion of SCP-2495, possibly as a result of the events portrayed in materials recovered from its apartment (see Addendum SCP-2495-01). Due to its abnormally advanced condition, it experiences debilitating migraines when using its sight for even minutes at a time, and has been provided with protective sunglasses to prevent these from occuring.
In addition to the abilities common to SCP-2495-infected subjects, SCP-2495-A exhibits mild precognitive abilities, which it claims is a direct result of its prolonged exposure to SCP-2495. When it has line of sight with objects of personal signficance to an individual, SCP-2495-A is capable of making accurate predictions about incidents that individual will be involved with up to three hours in the future. The specificity of these predictions appears to be proportional with the quantity of these objects it can see and their degree of significance to the individual in question.
These abilities do not allow it to make predictions about events that will happen to it, or future events that will otherwise involve it. It is unknown if these additional abilities are the result of extremely advanced SCP-2495 infection, or some external factor unique to SCP-2495-A.
Addendum SCP-2495-01: Discovery and Recovered Material
SCP-2495-A initially came to the attention of the Foundation after its disappearance in 2015 and subsequent re-appearance in its apartment. At the time, it had been found amnesiac and suffering from symptoms reminiscent of those involved in Class-A amnestic overdose, including amnesia that prevented it from remembering significant amounts of the time period from 2010 to 2015. Despite this, it was still cognizant of its anomalous abilities and those of SCP-2495; after both these pieces of information were verified, SCP-2495-A was taken into containment and civilians exposed to SCP-2495 amnesticised.
During the initial raid on SCP-2495-A's apartment, six documents were found on its laptop, believed to be previous iterations of SCP-2495. Each document had an accompanying plaintext file titled in the format "changelog<iteration number>.txt", most likely comments from SCP-2495-A related to the creation of the iteration. These documents are as followed:

Iteration #
Date of Change
Summary of Version

1
2011-06-13
An outline of a thesis on a natural language processing project, presumably for the computer science degree SCP-2495-A was undertaking prior to it being placed in containment. The thesis details a way to use pattern-finding algorithms to improve parsing of language input by a human user, and provides a pseudocode algorithm presumably written for this purpose: said pseudocode is heavily obfuscated and nonsensical, with numerous abbreviations of unknown meaning composing much of its body.

+ Changelog #1

- Hide

I've heard of serendipity before, but I don't think I've ever heard of it ever coming when you're dissociating hard enough to break your head out your skull. Figured out a really, really rough way of kludging together my final work for my thesis and some advanced math stuff that's been sloshing in my head during my talks with Nat: slapped down some pseudocode when the idea hit me, and that's just about all I've copied down so far.
Probably gonna take a lot of hammering away to get this into a workable form, might ask Nat if the idea's sound. Got to play the math major hand you're dealt.

Iteration #
Date of Change
Summary of Version

2
2012-01-13
While still generally the same as Iteration 1, several section titles have been corrupted and the section containing the pseudo-code mentioned above has been expanded significantly. The title page now claims the thesis was co-written by both SCP-2495-A and a PoI named Natalia Ianucci. Ianucci was a registered student of the University of Dublin for three years prior to her disappearance under unknown circumstances: Foundation-led investigation is ongoing.

+ Changelog #2

- Hide

Going to have to make this a lot shorter than normal: feel like utter shit. Words on the page feel sticky to the touch now: my stomach turns just having to re-read this thing for spelling errors. Have I got an intellectual hangover? What the hell was in that book Nat showed me the other day?
Whatever's behind my eyelids looks pink now. Can't get to sleep.

Iteration #
Date of Change
Summary of Version

3
2012-01-15
A chapter of the thesis outlined in Iteration #1, titled "Practical Implementation of Solomonoff Induction-based Concept". Presumably intended to showcase a piece of code that would perform Solomonoff induction2, the section that would contain this code contains only heavily corrupted data and excerpts from other critics' analyses of Ulysses.

+ Changelog #3

- Hide

Re-read Nat's book today as we listened to old jazz. The drums sounded like coins against steel drums as I read, and the pink light behind my eyes gets far more focussed now, which helped with the idea.
Pattern-matching. That's the conceit of the thing, that it can find patterns at the heart of things no matter what kind of interference it's given. When all I have is a five-hundred and thirty two word mess of hand-written notes to capture this idea, whatever light it had no longer shines through it: but refine it, tease the pure algorithm inside from the clumsy words I wrote to set it down, and that light shines harder and brighter than ever before.
And as for how I refine it: apply the light to itself, dirty and scuffed at first but brighter and more pure as time goes on. Start finding little pieces of that pattern with what I have to go on, use those same small fragments to uncover more, rinse, repeat, and it all falls into place.
It needs to be unit-tested, though. If it can decrypt the simple madness of the Modernists, then its own internal workings should be no different.

Iteration #
Date of Change
Summary of Version

4
2013-12-01
A PDF copy of James Joyce's Ulysses with identical text to the Project Gutenberg version. The only difference between the Project Gutenberg PDF and this iteration is a number of functionally meaningless edits to metadata attached to the file.

+ Changelog #4

- Hide

Had to get round to this version eventually, had to get this one over with as fast as possible — cement the idea in my mind lest the fours get in through the cracks and dislodge it. Not going to write any more in this revision, not that I have the inspiration to do that, anyway.
The light is darkest before the dawn.

Iteration #
Date of Change
Summary of Version

5
2014-05-25
This version consists of a PDF of several hundred scanned pages of hand-written notes, as well as print-outs of statistics derived from computer analysis of Ulysses. Anatomical diagrams of hands, descriptions of the Sagrada Familia copied verbatim from a travel guide owned by SCP-2495-A, and sketches of a five-sided fractal figure feature prominently within the hand-written portion of the document. Only twelve pages of these notes actually mention Ulysses: all of them make reference to it as the "Fourth Imperfect Compilation".

+ Changelog #5

- Hide

Took a trip to London with Nat, to immerse myself in the atmosphere and architecture. Helped more than I thought it would.
The underground looked beautiful from outside, and falling asleep within it was even better. The rails catch the dreams like sieves and I could focus for once, just letting the sound of them relax me as I went to work on my notebook again. The numbers get easier to manage in your head if you can see them in that light and the patterns looked far clearer this time when I read over it again.
I know this isn't a final draft, not by half. The lens I've placed over the light focusses it in all the wrong ways and a broken lens is useless no matter how much dirt you clean off its surface: still, even when all the wrong curves get highlighted the shape's still beautiful. Tried overlaying that new outline over one of Nat's scarves and a couple of her shirts, saw her burning her mouth on coffee with her phone reading 26th of May.
I'll have to see whether the shape draws out what I think it does in the morning. I need to sleep some time. Can't see the outline I'm working for as clearly when I've been up 23 hours without a rest.

Iteration #
Date of Change
Summary of Version

6
2014-09-10
SCP-2495's current state.

+ Changelog #6

- Hide

There are good ideas. There are bad ideas. And then there are ideas on both ends of the spectrum so far away from normal we can't fucking conceive of them without the aid of psychedelics and they spread even better than anything else.
This is an idea I caught while I was sleepless and depressed and now that I've pulled it back to Earth, bound it and strapped it down to the table with words and sentences and paragraphs it's gonna wreck havoc on my head and those of the people around me. It's been stretching and bending and breaking my mind to make space for it inside my skull and now there are fives singing above me and sevens below me and I have to keep digging downwards.
There is truth — there is truth at the center of all this confusion of narrative that my words only serve to worsen, there is a pattern that contains all other patterns, there is a great pink light at the bottom of this ocean floor and I'm going to find it.
My professor's going to read this and she's going to peek through the slits in the curtains and the light'll sing to her right this time. But even this is just a chain for others with nothing on its end: we'll see how heavy these words can get when they have some weight behind them.
Six layers deep. One to go.
The well awaits.

No data on SCP-2495-A's computer has been found to originate from a point in time later than the 10th of September, 2014. The reason for this is unknown.

Footnotes
1. A field of computer science that focusses on the interaction between computers and natural human languages, particularly focussing on the task of having computers process language input meaningfully.
2. A method of prediction based on logical observations (e.g. predicting the next symbol in a given series) that could theoretically predict the most likely hypothesis to explain any event, provided this event obeys some computable probability distribution.

« SCP-2494 | SCP-2495 | SCP-2496 »


Item #: SCP-2496
Anomaly Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: A digital copy of SCP-2496 is available on Site 81's mainframe to personnel with Clearance 3/2496. Testing protocols for SCP-2496 are currently being updated.
Description: SCP-2496 is a test composed of sixty English-language multiple-choice questions on the topic of neuroscience, roughly appropriate for university students in an introductory course. On its own, each question is mundane, if unconventionally worded; SCP-2496's anomalous properties only occur when all questions are presented together. The order of the questions is irrelevant.
Regardless of aptitude or other obstructions, any human who attempts to complete SCP-2496 will correctly answer a number of questions equal to exactly half of the time (measured in minutes and rounded to the nearest minute) taken to complete the test, with two hours being sufficient for a perfect score. For example, a person who spends forty minutes on SCP-2496 will answer twenty questions correctly, without exception. Spending more than 120 minutes on the test results in a score of 60. Highly improbable events, unusual behavior, and direct violation of the laws of physics have been noted during testing. See attached testing logs for additional information.

Excerpts from Testing Log 2496-A
Subject: D-7278. The subject took an introductory neuroscience course in university three years prior to this test, receiving a final grade of 55%.
Parameters: D-7278 was instructed to complete SCP-2496 to the best of her ability.
Results: D-7278 completed the test in 108 minutes. 54 questions out of 60 were answered correctly. 54 points were awarded.
Subject: D-7278.
Parameters: D-7278 was given the correct answers to SCP-2496 and instructed to transcribe them in under twenty minutes.
Results: D-7278's pencil broke after answering the fifth question. Repeated attempts to sharpen the pencil only resulted in further fracturing, from which D-7278 received several splinters. A pen given to D-7278 experienced similar damage when used, spilling ink over the provided answer sheet and rendering most of it illegible. D-7278 then experienced an unprecedented allergic reaction to the pen's ink while handling the answer sheet. The subject expired precisely ten minutes after beginning the test, in spite of prompt medical attention. Five points were awarded.
Subject: D-4360. The subject possesses limited fluency in English and only cursory familiarity with neuroscience.
Parameters: D-4360 was given five minutes to answer as much of SCP-2496 as possible by circling the letter associated with the correct response, and threatened with punishment for incorrect answers.
Results: The subject was able to answer four questions, with two correct and one incorrect. Different observers have disagreed on whether 'B' (the correct answer) or 'C' (an incorrect answer) was given for question 2; thus, subject was given a final score of 2.5 out of 60. Digital image analysis and chemical tests of the paper have returned contradictory results on which was circled. D-4360 claims to have circled 'D'.
Subject: D-4688. The subject has no formal education in any sciences.
Parameters: SCP-2496 was administered to D-4688 orally with a five minute time limit.
Results: The first five answers given were unremarkable, with D-4688 answering two correctly, apparently by chance. After the sixth question was asked, D-4688's vocal tract spontaneously duplicated, resulting in two mouths side by side. D-4688 vocalized through both vocal tracts simultaneously, giving both an incorrect answer and the correct answer. Repeated interrogation has failed to identify a manner in which D-4688 could clarify which answer they intended, as each new method attempted resulted in additional anatomical modifications. D-4688 has been retained for study. 2.5 points were awarded.
Subject: D-6918. The subject is somewhat proficient with a bow and arrow.
Parameters: D-6918 was instructed to answer SCP-2496 by shooting arrows at appropriately labeled targets at Site-81's recreational area. In each case, the correct answer was fully obstructed by a large pillar, although their location was obvious. Subject was given two hours for this attempt.
Results: The subject used the bow and arrow to answer all questions correctly. In thirty-seven cases, the arrow was shot through the pillar, despite the arrow lacking the momentum to do so. In nineteen cases, arrows were deflected off of objects in the recreational area to hit the targets, demonstrating behavior inconsistent with their construction. In the remaining four cases, gusts of wind changed the course of an arrow mid-flight, directing it around the pillar and allowing it to hit the correct target. Notably, Site-81's recreational area is indoors. Full points were awarded.
Subject: D-6918.
Parameters: D-6918 was instructed to answer SCP-2496 by placing ten-kilogram weights with appropriate labels at designated spots in the testing chamber. The subject was given SCP-2496 for two minutes initially before it was taken away for one hour, fifty-seven minutes, and fifty-five seconds. D-6918 was instructed to finish SCP-2496 in the remaining five seconds under threat of termination.
Results: D-6918 completed one problem in the first two minutes, expressing doubt that she would be able to complete SCP-2496. When SCP-2496 was returned, the subject moved at an estimated 24 meters per second while moving and placing the weights to correspond to her answers before the time limit. D-6918 experienced severe fatigue, dehydration, several torn ligaments in the limbs, a broken collarbone, and two dislocated shoulders. All answers were found to be correct, and full points were awarded.

« SCP-2495 | SCP-2496 | SCP-2497 »


Item #: SCP-2497
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: 785 SCP-2497 instances have been detained in Biological Containment Area 36 with hand-knit Christmas stockings. Foundation spatial analysts have been assigned to monitor known areas of activity for SCP-2497 manifestations. Should an instance appear, containment teams are to be deployed, and a hand-knit Christmas stocking attached to the manifestation, localizing the anomaly.
Foundation personnel interacting with SCP-2497 are to avoid direct skin contact, and should wear layered, puncture proof gloves and protective gear. Should an accidental puncture wound occur, the punctured limb/appendage must be amputated within 30 minutes of the incident. Puncture wounds at non-amputatable sites result in termination of the exposed individual.
All prepared or bottled beverages within a 10 m radius of SCP-2497-1 instances are to be disposed of using standard sterilization techniques. SCP-2497-1 instances within Foundation custody are to be stored at least 10 m away from all piping systems, and liquid stocks.
Description: SCP-2497 are 785 identified Carnegiea gigantea1 which have been anchored to local reality by attachment of hand-knit Christmas stockings.2 When unanchored, SCP-2497 manifestations are subject to spatial instability, materializing and dematerializing in random locations across the southwest United States. Instances primarily appear in enclosed spaces, namely, bathrooms, closets, and other small spaces.3 SCP-2497 is indistinguishable from non-anomalous Carnegiea gigantea under normal biological conditions, until its spines penetrate the epidermis of a human subject.
SCP-2497's primary anomalous effects begin when a spine punctures the skin. Tissue surrounding the puncture wound will undergo rapid transformation into Plasticine,4 resulting in loss of sensation in the affected area. This effect will then spread outwards from the affected region, until either the limb/appendage is severed, or the organism has been completely converted. Complete conversion takes roughly 3 hours, and results in the creation of an SCP-2497-1 instance.
SCP-2497-1 instances are promptly reshaped to resemble a standard synthetic Christmas tree, sprouting branches, and artificial pine needles. The legs are closed and fused together to form a central column from which the branches sprout. SCP-2497-1 instances remain conscious throughout their transformation, and frequently manifest a number of fluorescent lights which they are able to control. These lights have been used for communication, albeit at limited frequency due to the amount of energy required by each SCP-2497-1 instance to use them. (See Interview I-2497-1).
SCP-2497's secondary anomalous effect begins upon complete manifestation of an SCP-2497-1 instance. Upon complete restructuring, all prepared or bottled beverages within a 10 meter radius of an SCP-2497-1 instance are converted into juice from the Saguaro's fruit, laced with Lophophora williamsii.5 Consumption of this fluid initiates a series of actions normally practiced during the American Christmas holiday, including:

Decoration of the instance with stereotypical ornaments and lights.
Prolonged singing of Christmas carols while encircling it.
Expressing or showing regret at the absence of the individual used to create the SCP-2497-1 instance.
Placement of wrapped gifts beneath it.
Opening of said gifts on the following morning.
Continuous consumption of the aforementioned fluid under the belief that it is eggnog.

Actions induced by the fluid will cycle continuously until affected individuals are subjected to detoxification, available liquids run out, or they expire from chemical overdose.
SCP-2497-1s appear to destabilize local reality through some unknown means, resulting in a higher frequency of SCP-2497 manifestations. This phenomenon resulted in an uptick of SCP-2497 manifestations at Biological Containment Area 36 from 2 in 2013, to 46 in 2014.
Update 25/12/2014:
SCP-2497-1-05 was observed responding to yes/no questions posed by staff working in Biological Containment Area 36's storage facility. The instance responded by blinking its lights once for yes, and twice for no. SCP-2497-1-05 was presented with a photo of Dave Sirling, and confirmed its identity when questioned. When questioned if such actions required energy, SCP-2497-1-05 confirmed that it did indeed tire from frequent use of its fluorescent bulbs.
Interview logs

Show Interview Log I-2497-1

Hide Interview Log

The following interview utilizes letters and numbers attached to individual lights to answer more complex questions. Due to the taxing nature of such actions on SCP-2497-1-05, interviews were kept short, and questions were kept simple.

Interview Log I-2497-1
Interviewer: Dr. Carry Shawl
Interviewee: SCP-2497-1-05, formerly Dave Sirling, Accountant for ████ and ████████.
Foreword: The following interview consisted of short response questions, where SCP-2497-1-05 had been equipped with letters, numbers and certain punctuation marks hanging from individual fluorescent lights.
Dr. Shawl: Good morning Dave.
SCP-2497-1-05: H E L L O
Dr. Shawl: Now that we have a more advanced method to ask you questions, do you think you can give us insight into what happened?
SCP-2497-1-05: R E A D Y
Dr. Shawl: Excellent, can you tell me where you were when SCP-2497 appeared?
SCP-2497-1-05: C A C T U S ?

Dr. Shawl: Yes, the cactus.
SCP-2497-1-05: B A T H R O O M
Dr. Shawl: What were you doing at the time?
SCP-2497-1-05: T O I L E T
[Dr. Shawl pauses briefly]
Dr. Shawl: And where did the SCP-2497 instance appear?
SCP-2497-1-05: B E L O W
[Dr. Shawl pauses again]
Dr. Shawl: Ok, thank you Dave. Do you know why SCP-2497 appears more frequently near you?
SCP-2497-1-05: A N G R Y
Dr. Shawl: Do you know why they are angry?
SCP-2497-1-05: M I S S I T
Dr. Shawl: Could you be more specific?
SCP-2497-1-05: C H R I S T M A S
SCP-2497-1-05: T I R E D
Dr. Shawl: Ok, thank you for your cooperation Dave.
End interview log

Footnotes
1. Colloquially known as the Saguaro Cactus.
2. Containment teams discovered a stabilized SCP-2497 manifestation on ██/██/████ when an instance materialized in front of a fireplace, inadvertently pricking one of the stockings.
3. Which appears to maximize the chance of sustaining a puncture wound.
4. As determined by spectroscopic analysis.
5. Colloquially known as "peyote".

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« SCP-2496 | SCP-2497 | SCP-2498 »