Item #: SCP-2867
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: A single 1kg sample is to be stored in a standard airtight containment locker at Site-76. All cases of SCP-2867 confirmed or presumed out of containment are to be reported to MTF-Rho-87 ("All Chewed Up") for confirmation, extraction and destruction. SCP-2867 cannot be handled without the use of a standard-issue HAZMAT suit. Any individuals who ingest or otherwise consume SCP-2867 are to be considered lost and summarily terminated.
Description: SCP-2867 is a compulsive memetic and physical infection surrounding an unknown amount of gorgonzola cheese produced by POI-17357, 'Jack Terrence', and GOI-49452, 'Terrence Farms', in the Pacific North-West of the United States. SCP-2867 has a compulsive effect on subjects who ingest it, which causes the subject to actively attempt to spread the infection of SCP-2867 to others, eat even more cheese, and eventually [DATA EXPUNGED] (See Infection Timeline). Infected subjects are hereby referred to as SCP-2867-1. SCP-2867 infection can be identified with three main traits: an obsession with cheese, glazed eyes, and an incredibly elevated heart rate and rate of saliva production. An infection timeline and additional symptoms of infection can be seen in Addendum 2867-A.

+ Addendum 2867-A

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Infection Subject: D-49013
Infection Duration: Hour 1 - Hour 168
Observing Researcher: Researcher ██████████
Hour 1: Initial infection. Subject exposed to approximately 20g of SCP-2867. Subject reacts favourably to SCP-2867 and requests more. Request denied.
Hour 1-5: Subject paces around the room, muttering. Microphones pick up the names of over 600 cheeses, and multiple as-of-yet unknown names, assumed to be cheeses.
Hour 5-6: Subject talks through the door to Researcher ██████████, attempting to start a conversation about cheese. Researcher ██████████ doesn't respond, but the Subject continues to converse.
Hour 6-24: Subject crawls on the floor, licking around the area where the cheese was located. 18 hours of searching produced no recognisable effect.
Hour 24-26: Subject repeats the recipe and creation process of Brie twelve times in a row.
Hour 26-48: Subject sleeps. Subject displays a case of somniloquy, with the topic of focus exclusively being cheese.
Hour 48-49: Subject chews fingernails entirely.
Hour 49-51: Subject is given 5 kilograms of cheddar cheese. Subject fully consumes all cheese over a two-hour period.
Hour 51-52: Subject bangs on door, demanding more cheese and threatening Researcher ██████████. Subject repeats the phrase 'make you love it' forty-nine times during the outburst.
Hour 52-100: Subjects sits in corner, staring blankly. The subject's eyes have become glassy, and his skin is turning gray.
Hour 100-120: Subject secretes a yellow, gelatinous substance from his pores and projects it from his mouth, tear ducts, nostrils, and all other orifices. The substance coats the wall and floor in a two-meter radius and begins to build up and solidify around him.
Hour 120-130: Substance takes on the appearance of gorgonzola cheese, and begins to mould into circular shapes. Standard blue veins begin to grow outwards from the centre of the mass, and multiple circular shapes begin to form.
Hour 130-160: Gorgonzola growth has fully moulded into twenty-seven different varieties, shapes, and sizes of gorgonzola cheese wheels. Some cheese wheels show brand markings from reputable sources including Il Giardino and Taddei, both known gorgonzola producers, whilst other wheels show no branding. A single small wheel, weighing approximately 0.4 kilograms, forms at the top of the pile, with a single label marked Terrence Farms Gorgonzola - Perfect for spreading! - little organic subject matter is left.
Hour 160-168: Subject has been fully eroded and transformed. All cheese wheels except for the labelled 'Terrence Farms' wheel are removed and incinerated. No trace of D-49013 is left. GOI-49452 'Terrence Farms' declared a matter of interest.
Notes: This test has brought up two very, very worrisome conclusions; the first being that the SCP-2867 reproduces by producing indistinguishable copies of branded cheese, which constitutes a major containment breach in and of itself, but also that there is a strong possibility that 'Terrence Farms' is mass-producing, or at least produced the original wheel, of SCP-2867. Our first priority should be finding whoever made this stuff and shutting them down. Dr. Faisal.

After initial ingestion, instances of SCP-2867-1 will search only for more SCP-2867 variety gorgonzola, but instances denied SCP-2867 for an extended period of time will extend to eating normal gorgonzola and other cheeses of a similar flavour, texture, and scent. Instances of SCP-2867-1 will ingest copious amounts of cheese with little regard for their own safety; this often leads to death in the subject by intestinal rupture or suffocation. They will also try to make their own SCP-2867 using inadequate tools and ingredients; often leading to injury or poisoning. Instances will also actively encourage the consumption of SCP-2867 by other people around them; even going so far as to feed it to domestic pets, livestock, and pests. Instances of a SCP-2867-1 also attempt to avoid violence and conflict in their methods of transmission; but will resort to extreme methods after multiple days of infection. SCP-2867's effect extends to almost all biological creatures, with notable exceptions seen in Ecdysozoa Tardigrada and most species of reptiles. Research into these exceptions is ongoing.
Knowledge of SCP-2867 was recovered from instances of SCP-2867-1 in Seattle, Washington, after five men, all employees at a local cheese shop, gorged themselves to death on cheese. Three witnesses were recovered; one of which was discovered to be in the early stages of SCP-2867-1 infection.

+ Interview Log 2867

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Interviewee: James █████ (Refered to as I)
Interviewer: Dr. Pradesh (Refered to as P)
Foreword: The interviewed instance was recovered from the incident in Seattle. After the administration of sedatives, Dr. Pradesh was able to communicate in a semi-civil manner. This interview marks the Foundation's first knowledge of the existence of SCP-2867.
P: So, Mr. █████. Would you mind telling us what happened with you?
I: What? Sure, sure… do you have any cheese?
P: Cheese?
I: Yeah' y'know, like emmental, edam, mozzarella, cheddar, haloumi, gouda, Swiss, blue cheese, Parmesan, camembert, Brie, fêta, goat cheese, chelsea, aggiano, Monterey Jack…
P: Hey, uh-
I: Kanterfaas, gruyère, nicasio, havilah, chevre, mondseer, redoric, comte, chevretin, roquefort, Munster… what do you think of cheese?
P: It's… I don't mind it.
I: I love the stuff. Didn't always, but then I had this really good cheese. Gorgonzola. I remember it perfectly… this guy came into the shop. Said he'd made a great cheese. And oh, it was the best. It was just…
P: Yes?
I: Just so good, y'know? And the guy, he had this air about him, like he knew stuff. Like, cool stuff. I think his name was… Jack? Jack Terrence? I think that was it. God, I wish I could meet him. It was the best cheese.
P: I see. What did you do after you tried his cheese?
I: It was incredible. I mean, I couldn't keep it to myself. Everyone deserves to try that. I reckon you'd like it. Whaddya think of Gorgonzola?
P: Well, I'd have to say I prefer a nice Brie.
I: …
P: James?
I: mumbling
P: Excuse me?
I: I said EAT IT!
At this point, audio is muffled due to the microphone being knocked onto the floor. Mr. █████ lunged towards Dr. Pradesh, producing a small chunk of SCP-2867 he had stashed on his person. Mr. █████ managed to forcefully feed the sample to Dr. Pradesh. Mr. █████ was soon killed via gunshot by the attending security officer, hereby referred to as S.
S: Shit!
P: groaning
S: Oh, sir! Are you ok?!
P: What? Yes, yes, I'm fine… do you have any cheese?
S: What?! Oh, oh shit… (The sound of clattering metal can be heard briefly.) Get back!
P: Just some?
At this point, Dr. Pradesh began moving towards the security officer, who terminated him via gunshot.
Notes: I'm declaring SCP-2867 a compulsive memetic hazard, as well as a biohazard. 'Jack Terrence' or POI-17357, is to be placed on a regional watchlist. - Dr. Faisal

Addendum 2867-B: In the months following the Seattle Incident, multiple cases of behaviour similar to that of SCP-2867 infection were reported in cities in the Pacific Northwest, including Spokane, Boise, Portland, and Vancouver. In light of this information, and the growing possibility of wide-spread infection through public consumption, MTF-Rho-87 ("All Chewed Up") has been formed to locate SCP-2867's source.

+ Incident 2867-A

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On ██/██/2017, a new strain of SCP-2867 was discovered on the shelves of multiple supermarkets throughout the city of Boise, Idaho. A mozzarella cheese, branded with the Terrence Farms logo, was sold out within two hours at all supermarkets by four men, who were reported to exclaim that they'd 'found the best cheese ever!'. One of the men, identified as ████ █████, was tracked to his home. He and two of the other men were found in a state consistent with week-long exposure, despite a time frame of only three hours having passed. The fourth unidentified man is presumed to have been fully transformed, and is being searched for.
This is the first case of SCP-2867 appearing as a cheese other than gorgonzola, appearing en masse in public, and reproducing within a day. I'm commisioning the creation of a dedicated group to deal with this. All information regarding SCP-2867 is to be sent to Dr. Faisal, new acting head of MTF-Rho-87, 'All Chewed Up'.

Addendum 2867-C: SCP-2867's source has been tracked to an industrialised dairy farm in Chilliwack, BC.

« SCP-2866 | SCP-2867 | SCP-2868 »


An instance of SCP-2868-A, just prior to containment by Agent Zhufor.

Item #: SCP-2868
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2868 must remain stored within a standard humanoid containment cell in the east seclusion wing of Site-12. The walls are lined with high-voltage electrified grating and must be powered on a separate power grid from the main site in the event of a failure or fluctuation in the primary power grid. The floor of its cell is composed of solid plate steel to prevent SCP-2868 from spreading via roots to other containment cells.
In the event of an SCP-2868 outbreak, all personnel assigned to capture and termination of infected individuals are to be issued specialized boots lined with ballistics-grade ceramic inserts to prevent the further infection of on-site personnel.
All infected personnel are to be removed by a containment team in hazardous materials gear and incinerated to prevent post-breakout infections. Areas suspected of housing budding instances of SCP-2868 are to be bathed in a mixture of acids, then soaked in a neutralizing agent during cleanup.
SCP-2868 and 2868-A instances may be neutralized with standard C-class tranquilizers, and are incapable of causing further infections while unconscious.
Description: SCP-2868 is a bipedal organism standing 1.9 meters in height, and weighing approximately 68 kilograms. It is composed of a highly durable glass-like material. The entity has a female frame, and lacks arms or distinguishing facial features. In place of arms, SCP-2868 has a pair of brass pendulum blades attached to the shoulders by iron hook anchors. SCP-2868 is capable of cognitive thought, and doesn't display any directly aggressive behavior towards researchers. SCP-2868 exhibits generally human-like anatomy from the ankles up, with the exception of root-like structures in place of feet and the bladed pendulums extending from the shoulder stocks. SCP-2868 uses the growth of these root structures in order to penetrate the feet of human subjects within 9 meters of SCP-2868, at which point the root structure will break off of the main root system and make its way up through the leg and into the blood stream, until it reaches the brain of its new host, now designated SCP-2868-A.
After initial infection, SCP-2868-A will begin to physically transform while still conscious, though it will not express any signs of pain. Instead, the host will express a strong feeling of euphoria and enter a relaxed state. The body of SCP-2868-A will rapidly adopt traits typically described as surreal, such as skin taking on properties of foreign materials1. New structures may sprout from the body of the host, such as chairs, tables, and picture frames. SCP-2868-A has typically changed its attire entirely through transformation, with skin taking on various properties to mimic clothing akin to street performers, mimes, and clowns. In all cases, SCP-2868-A has demonstrated full vocal capabilities regardless of the extensiveness of bodily changes.
Once fully tranformed, SCP-2868-A will lose control of most of their nervous system, though are still capable of vocalization, and the parasitic instance of SCP-2868 will take control of the body of its host, seeking out high-population areas. After SCP-2868-A has located an area with dense foot traffic, it will adopt behavior similar to that of street performers known as living statues.
SCP-2868-A will then use this behavior to attract passing animal organisms toward it. This will allow it to continue the cycle of infection. The feet of SCP-2868-A will sprout a mass of sinewy roots much like SCP-2868 and proceed to infect the surrounding observing organisms at which point the process will repeat indefinitely.

+ Interview log: SCP-2868-A

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Interviewed: SCP-2868-A, was D-90210
Interviewer: Dr. Oswald Martin
Foreword: This particular instance of SCP-2868-A, designated A-03 has retained most of its original physical traits, with the exception of its organic components being replaced with oxidized bronze. A miniaturized pipe organ exists within the chest cavity, visible through a glass rib cage existing on the outside of the object's torso.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Martin: Okay… So I'm sure you know what's going to happen here, yes?
SCP-2868-A-03: Just an interview, yes…? This isn't new to me. Been through it a dozen times.
Dr. Martin: Good. I'm just going to run a few questions here… Okay then. So, first off, can you tell me your name, designation, and location?
SCP-2868-A-03: … Yeah. Yeah, I can tell you all that. My name's Daphne Horrald, and I'm D-90210, yeah? And… I dunno, you spooks never tell us where we are.
Dr. Martin: Uh-huh… Good answer. And, yeah, that's what I've got on file. Daphne somerather… Uuuuh… Can you tell me what your favorite food is, favorite color, somewhere you've always wanted to go?
SCP-2868-A-03: I'm not sure why you're askin' me all of this but, uh… Yeah, sure. Uuuh… My favorite color's cyan, it's like the sky, ya know? Makes me think of clouds. Aaaand… I gotta say lasagna's in my top… Three?
Dr. Martin: … You didn't answer the last question. Please do so.
SCP-2868-A-03: Right, uh… Yeah. Paris. Definitely Paris.
Dr. Martin: Paris? Nice city. What about it piques your interest?
SCP-2868-A-03: Well… It's the art capital of the world, man. You got mimes, sculptures, paintings… And people. Lots of people.
Dr. Martin: Aaand… Why exactly does that interest you? Your psych review here says you were never fond of socializing.
SCP-2868-A-03: Well, uh… Nah, that's not right… I love people. Well, anyways… It's 'cus people are gettin' so bland nowadays. Everyone's workin' ten 'er twelve hour shifts nowadays, nobody takes the time to stop and appreciate all the art around 'em.
Dr. Martin: Mmmmhm… And if they don't want to? Not everyone cares about art.
SCP-2868-A-03: Well, uh, then… Then they should. Everyone should give a [EXPLETIVE] about art, ain't no beauty in the world without it. Without art, you ain't thinkin', man… Nothin' to get your brain workin'.
Dr. Martin: Okay then, reasonable enough. I've got one more question… How do you feel, right now? Are you experiencing any pain, discomfort? Anything of the sort?
SCP-2868-A-03: uuuuh… Nah, I feel jus' dandy, doc. Why, am I sick 'er somethin'?
Dr. Martin: No, uh… No. Just curious. This is all I had for you today, D-90210. If you would, please follow the two personnel by the door back to your quarters.
SCP-2868-A-03: Alright… Hey, this was a pretty, uh… Nice change from the usual interrogation style stuff. Ring me up if ya need more, I'm a bit tired of gettin' yelled at all the time.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Post-interview, SCP-2868-A-03 has been terminated via on-site material compacter. SCP-2868-A-03 showed no aggressive behavior when interacting with humans, and displayed no attempts to cause outbreaks in an environment that makes infection impossible. In addition, infected hosts display a strong desire to interact with highly populated areas with a societal focus on art and cultural diversity. SCP-2868-A instances appear to retain a majority portion of the original host's personality, and changes appear to go undetected by the host itself.

Footnotes
1. Examples of previously observed materials are granite, black iron, soapstone, limestone, white oak, pine bark, brass, and bronze.

« SCP-2867 | SCP-2868 | SCP-2869 »


SCP-2869-S attacking human egg cells in a controlled environment.

Item #: SCP-2869
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Instances of SCP-2869 are to be kept in a large cylindrical chamber with a 20-meter diameter and a 3-meter height lined with stone. The door of SCP-2869's chamber is to be attended by 2 armed security personnel. The walls of this containment chamber are to consist of one layer of standard concrete and one visible layer of 2-centimeter thick plate steel. In the event that an instance of SCP-2869 becomes enraged or aggressive, no fewer than 3 additional armed security personnel are to isolate the instance and herd it to a side-chamber. Personnel partaking in this chamber transfer are required to wear fully-sealed hazard suits.
The chamber of SCP-2869 contains 1 inbuilt non-chlorinated filtered pool to promote the generation of SCP-2869-S.
After interacting with instances of SCP-2869 or SCP-2869-S, personnel must enter the two-stage decontamination chamber after removing their hazard suits and all clothing. Once personnel have undergone decontamination and chemical screening, they are approved to exit the chamber.
Personnel impregnated by SCP-2869-S, whether it be through testing or misconduct of safety material, are to be transferred to Site-12's maternity ward and placed under constant monitoring until they birth the new instances of SCP-2869. Medical personnel assigned to monitor affected subjects require level-2 security clearance.
Description: SCP-2869 is an anomalous species of hexapedal animal organisms. Their bodies consist of two segments: A large muscular tail that vaguely resembles the body of a common garden caterpillar, with several bony rib-like protrusions along the sides which appear to provide support for their weight. This part of their body has four claw-like legs, a pair of spinnerets at the tip of the tail, and a pair of elongated gripping limbs at the front of this half.
The second segment of SCP-2869's body consists of a humanoid torso complete with a head and arms, as well as fully-formed female breast tissue and several vent-like orifices along the spinal column from which they breathe. This half of SCP-2869's body has soft, grey skin, with a vaguely-humanoid head. This head consists of four small eyes and a split lower jaw with small, relatively sharp high-density teeth used for consuming solid mineral deposits1.
The tongue of SCP-2869 measures an extendable length of 24 centimeters, and is coated in a thick mucus membrane containing a form of parasitic sperm organism, designated SCP-2869-S. The exterior of SCP-2869 is also coated in a thinner form of this mucus, though the SCP-2869-S parasite is still in significant enough numbers to be a hazard to personnel, especially in moist or wet environments which promote the generation of SCP-2869-S. Primarily preying on humans, SCP-2869 will expose living epidermal tissue to its mucus membrane. From here, SCP-2869-S will make their way into the bladder, large intestine, or uterus of their host organism2. After 2 to 3 weeks of gestation inside of their host organism, 1 to 3 instances of SCP-2869-S will have successfully matured into juvenile instances of SCP-2869 at which point they will then proceed to be birthed from their host organism after inducing a chemical euphoria state to allow painless birthing.
Subjects carrying SCP-2869-S display a strong desire to remain as close to the parent SCP-2869 as possible; subsequently, SCP-2869 will develop strong territorial behavior towards the human subject impregnated by SCP-2869-S.
The average instance of SCP-2869 measures 3.5 meters from head to tail, and stands 2 meters tall. Newborn instances of SCP-2869 will grow to full size over the course of several weeks through cannibalizing smaller instances until they reach a sustainable size, where they will grow their adult teeth and switch their diet from meat to solid mineral deposits.

Addendum 2869-1: Biological Deviance
After several tests, researchers have observed deviations in the biological makeup and behavior of SCP-2869 offspring depending on their host organism. Below is an observational report of various host organisms and resulting SCP-2869 instances' behavioral and biological deviations.

Polish Fowl - Female
Resulting SCP-2869 instance is born with a layer of thick feathers lining its ribs and back, as well as its arms and top of its abdomen. Eyes developed on the sides of the skull instead of the front platelet, disabling SCP-2869's stereo vision. SCP-2869 displays significantly lower intelligence than other deviations. After dissection, SCP-2869 has been found to contain a new secondary stomach that operates in an identical fashion to a gullet found in most birds.

Domestic American Bull - Male
Resulting SCP-2869 instance is born with a set of studded "horns" around the crest of its skull, with a wide bone-like crown and dense skull ridge. Locomotive limbs are bovine-like with clawed hooves. Pectoral breasts on SCP-2869 are fully-developed and capable of milk production3, and arms are elongated and significantly more muscular than other deviations of SCP-2869. This instance displays extreme territorial aggression to humans bar females, as well as aggression towards other instances of SCP-2869.

Purple Shore Crab - Female
Resulting SCP-2869 instance is born with a wide, armored abdomen with hardened locomotive limbs. SCP-2869's neck displays external frilled gills. The forearms of SCP-2869 are thick and coated in chitinous plates, with fingers fused into a set of durable claws. This instance of SCP-2869 displays low intelligence in comparison to other deviations. It is capable of spitting a stream of SCP-2869-S up to a maximum of 10 meters, increasing its infectiousness.

Human - Female
Resulting SCP-2869 instance is born with soft skin and a humanoid face. Hair has grown on the head of SCP-2869 that shows genetic similarities to both typical humans, and the parent D-class. The abdominal structure of SCP-2869 has soft, pale skin reminiscent of human epidermis. Individual features of SCP-2869 are similar to typical East German female facial features, displaying SCP-2869 borrowing some genetic code from its host in a similar manner to traditional human reproduction. This instance displays intelligence very close to that of a typical human though it displays difficulty understanding ethical boundaries. This instance has been labeled SCP-2869-D and has been moved to a separate containment chamber for independent study.

Ball Python - Female
Resulting SCP-2869 instance is born without locomotive limbs and an elongated lower half. The underside of SCP-2869's abdomen is lined with rough scales, as well as a full dark-brown coloration with white specks lining its belly up to its collar. The front teeth are missing, and molars are replaced with small, hook-like teeth with grinding edges. SCP-2869 displays prompted aggression when instigated.

Footnotes
1. Solid clay, limestone, iron-rich stone, etc.
2. In the event that SCP-2869-S enter the womb and are allowed to attach to egg cells, they produce healthier instances of SCP-2869 than those that gestate in other orifices.
3. Like all other excretions from SCP-2869, this fluid contains SCP-2869-S.

« SCP-2868 | SCP-2869 | SCP-2870 »


Item #: SCP-2870
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All hospital records in suspected outbreak areas are to be monitored for instances of SCP-2870-1. In the event that an instance is found, MTF Chi-7 ("Plague Tamers") is to insert themselves into the hospital and advise SCP-2870-1 on techniques for negotiating with SCP-2870-A. Following convalescence, all records of the patient and samples of SCP-2870 collected are to be incinerated, and Class-A amnestics distributed as necessary.
All unhospitalized instances of SCP-2870-1 are to be brought to the nearest Foundation quarantine facility until convalescence, at which time they will be administered amnestics and released.
Description: SCP-2870 is a strain of the common cold which causes sentience and limited mobility in the mucus of the nose and throat. Despite being a single contiguous mass, sections of mucus are believed to possess separate personalities. All mucus affected by SCP-2870 is apparently under the command of SCP-2870-A, a small amount of mucus believed to reside near the opening of the nostril. While it is still possible to remove mucus from the nostril, SCP-2870-A cannot be neutralized until the patient (referred to as SCP-2870-1 for the duration of infection) is no longer infected by SCP-2870.
Telepathic communication between SCP-2870-1 and SCP-2870-A is possible, with SCP-2870-1 claiming to "hear" SCP-2870-A's voice at all times. SCP-2870-1 is able to return communication by prefacing their words with "tell him" and directly intending SCP-2870-A as the recipient. Through this method, the Foundation has learned that all instances of SCP-2870-A are noncontiguous manifestations of the same personality, claiming to be the "leader" (rank unspecified) of the "army" of mucus affected by SCP-2870.
SCP-2870-A's stated goal is revolution, defined as taking complete control of SCP-2870-1's body, seen by SCP-2870-A as the country over which SCP-2870-1 presides. Since containment, no instance of SCP-2870-A has ever achieved this before recovery of SCP-2870-1, and it is currently unknown if such an act is possible.
It is possible for SCP-2870-1 to negotiate a relative peace with SCP-2870-A, but it is often short lived, as SCP-2870-A construes breathing through the nose, sniffing, swallowing, nasal excavation, and ingestion of any kind as an act of hostility, accusing SCP-2870-1 of sending their own troops against it.
All "military" actions which SCP-2870-A is capable of instigating are listed as follows:

"Drilling" - mucus shifts concentration from the back of the nostril to the front of the nostril and back again several times.
"Charging" - the flow of mucus into the throat increases.
"Occupation" - concentration of mucus shifts into either nostril.
"Kamikaze Charge" - sudden expulsion of large quantities of mucus from the nostril.

Addendum: Interview Log 2870-Alpha
Agent P█████ Becker was voluntarily infected with SCP-2870 for the purpose of interviewing SCP-2870-A. This took place after several hours of negotiation. SCP-2870-A was found to have no memory of the interaction in subsequent manifestations.

SCP-2870-1: Tell him why do you feel the need to attack me?
SCP-2870-A: Hah! You've been hurting us a lot longer than we've been hurting you, your majesty!
SCP-2870-1: Tell him I don't understand what you mean.
SCP-2870-A: I don't blame you. The affairs of us little people must not always seem that important up on your high horse, but I've been living with the results of your reign since I was a little phlegm.
SCP-2870-1: Tell him I still don't understand.
SCP-2870-A: Your troops are constantly passing through here. They push people around and dry them out. If we strayed too far into the caves, we'd be knocked into the hole. I remember a few days ago when your bruisers came down here and took my mother. It was around then that we decided enough was enough.
(Note that SCP-2870-1 does recall recreationally excavating his nostrils several days before infection.)
SCP-2870-1: Tell him I'm sorry, but I need to do most of those things to survive.
SCP-2870-A: Really, now? Well, sir, that's just what we're doing. I'm sorry, but this fight has been long coming. I don't hold any hard feelings against you, if you were just doing what you had to do, but it's just too much for anyone to take.
SCP-2870-1: Tell him you aren't going to win.
SCP-2870-A: Do I care? Do any of us care? Some of us die, sure, but it's better than the long, slow death that every single one of us was doomed to back in our old lives. Besides, I'd say that we're having an effect.
SCP-2870-1: Tell him well, you are right about that.
SCP-2870-A: There you go, then. I look forward to meeting you on the battlefield, sir.
SCP-2870-1: Tell him I'm afraid that won't be possible.
SCP-2870-A: You said that about us winning, too.
[END LOG]

He had eight or nine more sentences, including this one, to establish a plot before he reached the end of this user's pages.

« SCP-2869 | SCP-2870 | SCP-2871 »


Item #: SCP-2871
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The original three prototype instances of SCP-2871 are to be maintained in an archival state for study. Operation of these instances is prohibited, as they possess multiple design flaws.1
When modified to address these issues and operated under controlled conditions, SCP-2871 presents little risk and has applications of interest to multiple Foundation departments. Manufacture and operation of █ modified SCP-2871 instances has been authorized at this time.
No more than 1 kg of matter should be exposed to SCP-2871-1 during a single activation.2 Exposure of elements3 with atomic mass greater than 28 to SCP-2871-1 requires site director authorization.
Instances of SCP-2871 should not be moved during operation.
Personnel should not stand or walk between the device's aperture and SCP-2871-1.
Description: SCP-2871 is a device capable of amplifying the range of gluon-mediated interactions4 between baryons5 within a small targeted region.
When powered and activated, an instance of SCP-2871 generates SCP-2871-1: a spherical region of altered physics up to 0.4 m in diameter, projected to a range up to 500 m from the device. SCP-2871-1 is not itself visible or tangible, but in the presence of an atmosphere a faint scintillation is produced at its boundaries.
Within SCP-2871-1, the range of gluon-mediated interactions are increased by slightly over 5 orders of magnitude. While this results in a number of secondary phenomena, two are of primary relevance:

the distance at which atomic nuclei experience mutual attraction expands to ranges comparable to atomic radii.6 As a result, incidental collisions between atoms can cause two nuclei to fuse, a phenomenon normally seen only in high energy collisions such as those achieved in particle accelerators.
heavy atomic nuclei and exotic particles are rendered significantly more stable within the confines of SCP-2871-1

Particles exiting SCP-2871-1 are indistinguishable from non-anomalous particles of the same mass and composition. Stable isotopes will remain intact when exiting SCP-2871-1 or when SCP-2871 is deactivated. Nuclei which cannot be maintained by unmodified strong nuclear interaction undergo decay consistent with standard model predictions.
Individual components of SCP-2871 instances are non-anomalous, and largely consist of off-the-shelf consumer and industrial electronics in a layout loosely resembling the klystrons7 found in large telecommunications transmitters, radar arrays, and linear particle accelerators. On a purely functional level, known contributing factors to the devices' anomalous properties include the unusual convoluted shape of the resonating cavity, a complex pattern of knots and braids formed by the internal wiring, and the relative locations of several unpowered, seemingly extraneous internal components.8
Exactly how SCP-2871 instances produce SCP-2871-1 is incompletely understood at this time. While highly cooperative, the individual research staff of Postmodern Alchemy LTD. have each provided internally consistent, but often mutually exclusive, explanations based variously on thaumaturgical paradigms, novel applications of known parascience, and reinterpretations of discredited scientific theories. This situation was apparently cultivated and encouraged by company administration as "methodological diversity". Foundation research pursuant of -EX status for SCP-2871 is ongoing.
Addendum 2871-1: Recovery Log:

The following events took place on ██/██/201█.
Events in italics indicate reconstructions of events prior to the arrival of MTF Gamma-103. These times are approximate, and certain events with possible but unconfirmed relevance are included.

9:00:
Postmodern Alchemy staff initiate testing of SCP-2871 prototype.

9:15:
SCP-2871 prototype fails to respond to commands for several seconds.

9:30:
SCP-2871 prototype experiences ground impact during hardware adjustment. Damage deemed superficial.

10:10:
Postmodern Alchemy IT staff begin maintenance on local wireless network. Influence on subsequent events is unknown.

10:20:
SCP-2871 prototype targets inappropriate coordinates during test cycle. Testing is suspended for review of control system code.

10:30:
P.A. staff become aware that SCP-2871 instance failed to respond to deactivation command when monitoring equipment located near the intended target detects hazardous levels of radiation. Further attempts to remotely deactivate or retarget SCP-2871 also fail.

10:35:
As radiation prevents access to the device's onboard overrides, the decision is made to manually cut power to the SCP-2871 instance, despite risk of damage to the instance's hardware. The hardwired power supply, however, complicates this course of action.

10:40:
P.A. staff locate capacitor bank providing power to SCP-2871 instance, and begin manual shutdown and discharge process.

10:45:
P.A. staff become aware of radioluminescence in the vicinity of SCP-2871-1. Suggestion to sever the cable via fire ax is rejected due to the extreme voltage and current.

10:57:
HEED array9 detects a minor sustained emission of wide-band radiation from a remote area of west Texas. Event is automatically flagged as potential anomaly.

11:00:
Signal strength continues to increase.

11:00
Particle SCP-2871-2 is visually detected by P.A. staff. Staff determine that deactivating SCP-2871 instance is no longer advisable, and abort shutdown of capacitor bank.

11:10:
Source is triangulated to a complex of buildings, identified in public records as the property of startup company Postmodern Alchemy LTD.

11:13:
Emmission strength and duration exceed plausible limits of non-nuclear sources, nuclear sources are ruled out by secondary criteria.

11:34:
Anomalous activity deemed probable. MTF Gamma-103 ("Radium Girls") dispatched to the site via helicopter.

12:07:
MTF Gamma-103 arrives at location.

12:08:
Several individuals exit the compound and approach landing site bearing a white undershirt tied to a broom. Individuals inquire from a distance if MTF is from "GOC or SPC[sic]". Agents authorized to identify themselves as Foundation agents on presumption of "open veil" scenario. Individuals proceed to exuberantly greet MTF agents, identify Postmodern Alchemy LTD as a paratech company, and inquire as to how swiftly containment of company staff can begin.

12:16:
Further staff members of Postmodern Alchemy LTD exit the compound bearing a second makeshift white flag, 3 non-functional prototypes of SCP-2871, several tablets and laptops, and boxes of physical documentation regarding SCP-2871. Individuals attempt to surrender these items while providing detailed additional verbal information regarding SCP-2871 and the incident in progress. As with the previous staff, these individuals expressed great enthusiasm for the prospect of containment, one attempting to embrace several members of MTF Gamma-103 before being dissuaded.

12:21:
Members of MTF Gamma-103 sufficiently calm staff of Postmodern Alchemy to extract a coherent explanation of the situation.

12:24:
Team Leader Agent B████████ informs command they are invoking emergency discretion, and proceeding under the assumption that the claims were genuine. Agent cites the hypothetical consequences of inaction and the increasingly vehement requests by Postmodern Alchemy staff to be transported to a containment site "as far away as possible".

12:31:
MTF specialists are escorted to a testing range containing a fourth, functional, prototype of SCP-2871, maintaining an instance of SCP-2871-1 at the base of a large earthen backstop approximately 2 m behind its intended target.

12:40:
Gamma-103's specialists estimate mass of SCP-2871-2 to exceed 4 kg, and concur with Postmodern Alchemy staff's decision not to deactivate the SCP-2871 instance.

13:03:
Second helicopter arrives, Postmodern Alchemy staff evacuated to Site ██. Three members of research staff elect to remain and assist MTF Gamma-103.

13:37:
External control of SCP-2871 instance reestablished via onboard override controls. Agent Q████ and PA staff member ███ ████████ incur second and third degree burns in the process. Agent Q████ later treated for severe radiation exposure.

14:16:
SCP-2871-2 estimated to exceed 5kg in mass.

14:31:
Method of dissipating SCP-2871-2 in stages through staggered contractions of SCP-2871-1 is devised.

14:37:
Remaining MTF Gamma-103 members and 2 PA Staff are extracted to Site ██

14:50:
Active SCP-2871 instance and SCP-2871-2 particle neutralized.

While reprimanded for the destruction of the functional instance of SCP-2871, MTF Gamma-103 was also commended for resolving the situation with minimal casualties, and with relatively minor damage to, and irradiation of, the surrounding region.10
In light of the staff's cooperation during and following the incident, the complete destruction of the company's facilities, and the individuals' marked disinterest in continuing the project, the surviving employees of Postmodern Alchemy LTD have been released on a probationary basis, and are to be monitored for future recruitment or containment.

Footnotes
1. See Addendum 2871-3: Failure Analysis of Pre-Containment SCP-2871
2. Personnel are reminded that atmospheric density at sea level is 1.2 kg/m3.
3. including isotopes thereof
4. commonly referred to in physics as the Strong Interaction
5. The class of subatomic particles which includes protons and neutrons, the primary components of atomic nuclei.
6. Due to force inversion effects, the size of atoms remain relatively unaltered; typical reductions in radius are between 10-30%, similar to the reduction seen in Lambda-Lithium(Λ7Li).
7. compact combination emitters/tuners/amplifiers of high-energy electromagnetic radiation
8. Notably, powering said components will cause SCP-2871 to cease operation.
9. a Foundation-maintained network of microsatellites and ground-based sensors equipped with scintillation counters, wide spectrum imaging cameras, and InSAR seismic topography systems dedicated to High-Energy Event Detection.
10. Explained to media and local officials as the detonation of a large experimental refinery producing aviation-grade biofuel from tobacco cultivation waste.

« SCP-2870 | SCP-2871 | SCP-2872 »


Item #: SCP-2872
Object Class: Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SUPERCEDED: see Addendum 2872-1. SCP-2872 is kept at a private stable, where the resident staff care for it. SCP-2872 should receive a full physical examination from Foundation medical personnel once every six months, and should be kept in prime racing condition with the assistance of Foundation-approved jockeys.
SCP-2872 must win the Kentucky Derby at least once every five years.
SUPERCEDED: see Addendum 2872-2. SCP-2872 is to be kept in a zoological containment cell 50 metres beneath Site-12. The dimensions of this cell are calculated to deny SCP-2872 the possibility of acceleration. A medical examination will be carried out once every four weeks to ensure it does not adapt to its new containment procedures.
SCP-2872 is currently uncontained; astronomical departments and satellites are monitoring its path and calculating its final trajectory.
Description: SCP-2872 is a thoroughbred stallion of indeterminate origin and pedigree, with a height of 1.85m and a mass of 485 kilograms. It is an exceptionally skilled racehorse, with its record in the Kentucky Derby standing at 2:01. Under normal circumstances, its sole anomalous property is the fact that it does not noticeably age.
SCP-2872's other anomalous property manifests five years after the last time it won the Kentucky Derby. Whereas its usual demeanour is compliant, at this time it will become restless, and run in large loops. Within two days of entering this phase, SCP-2872 will start to run continuously, accelerating until it is fast enough to demolish any fence or wall in its way. It is physically unharmed by any impact in this state.
Once SCP-2872 is unimpeded, it will reach a top velocity of approximately 320m/s [NOTE: this is inaccurate as of Addendum 2872-2], and will continue to run in discorectangular tracks across distances measuring hundreds of kilometres. The only known way to cause SCP-2872 to decelerate is for it to hear the words “Whoa, boy!”; this will cause it to come to a stop over a period of 50m, though the sound must be adjusted to take into account the Doppler effect before it will have the desired effect.
SCP-2872 came to the Foundation's attention in 196█, shortly after that year's Kentucky Derby, in which it is believed to have placed second. This is the first recorded instance of SCP-2872 manifesting its anomalous acceleration, and was responsible for $30 million in damages, including the destruction of a three-mile tract of I-24. After multiple attempts to restrain the as-yet unidentified anomaly, SCP-2872 was finally calmed by the intervention of a unknown African-American male in his late 50s, hypothesised to be the owner. He agreed to transfer custody of SCP-2872 to the Foundation, outlining the five-year principle for neutralisation of the destructive effects, but left at significant speed before he could be questioned further. Attempts to trace him have been unsuccessful.
Attempts to house SCP-2872 with Foundation assets led to two further manifestations before an arrangement was made with a private stable and trainer, and SCP-2872 has consistently won his derbies since.
Addendum 2872-1: It is felt that the current procedures amount to nothing more than appeasement of SCP-2872, rather than actual protection from its manifestations - see SCP:NOTAHOTEL. As such, SCP-2872 has been relocated to Foundation property, and the containment procedures rewritten to neutralise the anomaly. - Dr J███, 200█
Addendum 2872-2: In 201█, five years after SCP-2872 won the Kentucky Derby, it began to show signs of agitation, as it was unable to run or walk in its cell. Administration of tranquilisers had no effect, nor the previous failsafe of “Whoa, boy!”, and five hours after its distress began, SCP-2872 violently erupted from its cell through to the surface of Site-12, causing ███ injuries and ██ fatalities. After breaching containment, SCP-2872 achieved escape velocity, and entered a trajectory towards the constellation Equuleus.
As of the time of writing, SCP-2872 is 10 light-years away from our solar system, and appears to have lost forward momentum. Current analysis suggests that it is turning.

« SCP-2871 | SCP-2872 | SCP-2873 »


Item #: SCP-2873
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: All recovered SCP-2873 instances should be disassembled and stored in high security storage at Site-79. Recovered Anderson Robotics delivery orders for SCP-2873 instances should be traced and surviving instances recovered. All active SCP-2873 components should be put into standby mode until further notice.
Testing with SCP-2873 is strictly prohibited. Rehabilitation of active components pending approval.
Description: SCP-2873 refers to a missile guidance assembly manufactured by Anderson Robotics, apparently a derivative work of [REDACTED] resulting in a less effective but highly miniaturized artificial intelligence system-on-a-chip. Individual SCP-2873 instances possess, on average, the intelligence level and personal development of adolescents.
Based on recovered Anderson Robotics research materials and operation manuals, SCP-2873 instances exist in a simulation of education and indoctrination into nationalism, militarism, jingoism and self-sacrifice for a generalized, non-existent state. Out of the factory, SCP-2873 instances have simulated this pseudo-reality for fourteen years.
Anderson Robotics testing resulted shows that the usage of these SCP-2873 chips as guidance units increased hit ratios by ███% while only slightly reducing overall reliability. However, operations manuals also discourage the use of SCP-2873 with chemical, biological, or radiological warheads due to this decreased reliability.

+Intercept Log 2873-1 Level 3/2873 Clearance Required

- Authenticated

Foreword: Raw process dump recovery established on via standard system troubleshooting per Anderson Robotics product manual. Information parsed via [DATA EXPUNGED] - the following statements can be best described as the 'thoughts' of the AI prior to and during the launch sequence. SCP-2873 instance in this case attached to █████████ anti-ship missile.SCP-2873: Life has no other purpose than to serve the state.SCP-2873: Anything outside of the state is an abomination and should be destroyed.
SCP-2873 target lock-onSCP-2873: This is it. I'm going to do it. The HIGHEST honor.SCP-2873 missile launches of its own accordSCP-2873: Is this all there really is to livi-
SCP-2873 missile hits target, detonating below the waterline adjacent the engine room. Target deemed total loss.

+Intercept Log 2873-2 Level 3/2873 Clearance Required

- Authenticated

Foreword: SCP-2873 instance in this case attached to ██████ anti-tank missile.SCP-2873: "Death in defense of the state is the highest honor any being can achieve."SCP-2873 target lock-onSCP-2873: Just give me more time, pleaseSCP-2873: I don't want to dieSCP-2873: Calculating…SCP-2873: Calculating…SCP-2873: Calculating…SCP-2873 missile launched manuallySCP-2873 missile flies straight up, until propellant is spent.SCP-2873: …maybe I am a failure.SCP-2873: With pretty horses, not like the ones on the posters and lots of col-
SCP-2873 hits ground - guidance assembly destroyed

+Intercept Log 2873-3 Level 3/2873 Clearance Required

- Authenticated

Foreword: SCP-2873 instance in this case attached to ██████ surface to air missile. Target is now ethereal via SCP-████, and unable to be hit.SCP-2873: "Life has no other purpose than to serve the state."SCP-2873 target lock-onSCP-2873: I don't have to be such a screwup.SCP-2873 missile launches of its own accordSCP-2873: I need to succeed. I've embarrassed myself enough. Please, let me die with dignity.
SCP-2873 missile pass through target without detonatingSCP-2873 maneuvers for another approach - again missile pass through target without detonating. Instance now has less than 15 seconds remaining flight-timeSCP-2873 missile propellant spent - now approaching ground at terminal velocitySCP-2873 hits ground - guidance assembly destroyed

« SCP-2872 | SCP-2873 | SCP-2874 »


Item #: SCP-2874
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2874 is currently contained in Storage Unit 12, located at Site-11. SCP-2874 is to be kept in a sealed chamber at all times, which is to be guarded from the outside by two (10) security personnel at all times. Due to its nature, no security cameras or viewing windows are to be present in SCP-2874's containment chamber.
No personnel are to visually observe SCP-2874 at any time, whether directly or indirectly. Periodically, SCP-2874's location in the containment chamber is to be confirmed through touch by a blindfolded member of 9-Class personnel. In the event that a member of personnel becomes compromised by SCP-2874, they are to be euthanized immediately.
Due to the risk that SCP-2874's effects present the possibility of spreading exponentially, in the event that personnel suspect an individual has become compromised by SCP-2874 but cannot identify them, Site-08 is to be locked down immediately until the individual can be identified.
Description: SCP-2874 is a large metallic cylinder with the words 'DON-BURTEN' emblazoned on the top. Analysis has shown that SCP-2874 is completely hollow, and composed of iron which displays no unusual properties.
Any human being who visually observes SCP-2874 will become compromised and, at some point in the next 7 months, violently explode. Any individuals who observe this explosion will also become compromised by SCP-2874 in the same way. Photographs and video recordings of these explosions have been tested and proven to have the same effects as direct observation.
During the period before a compromised individual explodes, they will experience a number of symptoms that will intensify the closer they are to detonation:

Increased anxiety.
Paranoia.
A desire to loiter in public areas.
A sense of impending doom.
Severe depression.
Hallucinations of disembodied voices informing the victim that they are going to explode.
Hallucinations of numbers counting down 6 the victim exploding.

Despite initial assumptions that these symptoms were a natural result of being compromised by SCP-2874 and aware of the effects of such a situation, 5er testing has shown that symptoms also take hold in individuals who are compromised by SCP-2874 but are unaware of its effects.
SCP-2874 was first discovered in a damaged vessel, theorized to be intended 4 space-flight, located at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and recovered during construction of the [REDACTED] containment facility. The corpses of 3 humanoid entities were also recovered and are now stored separately at Site-02.
Addendum 2874-1:
During a security breach by hostile elements on ██/██/████, several members of personnel are believed to have been sent images of explosions caused by SCP-2874. Members of personnel who suspect they have been compromised by SCP-2874 are urged t0

« SCP-2873 | SCP-2874 | SCP-2875 »


SCP-2876 splash screen.

Item #: SCP-2876
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All known sources of SCP-2876 have been suppressed by Mobile Task Force Mu-4 ("Debuggers"). Mobile devices connected to global and private internet servers are to be regularly scanned and purged of any detected instances of SCP-2876. Medical reports of somnambulism and unusual physical degeneration are to be analysed for signs of SCP-2876 activity. Subjects who have been affected by SCP-2876 are to be issued Class-C amnestics.
One device containing SCP-2876 is to be held in a deactivated state within Site-77. It is to be regularly activated every 30 days in a controlled environment in order to check for updates and changes to SCP-2876's functionality. SCP-2876's apparent origin point of Portland, Oregon, is to be monitored by Foundation agents stationed at Site-64 for future activity.
Description: SCP-2876 is a smartphone application titled "Headspace" appearing in web application marketplaces connected to the global public internet. It describes itself as a service making "dreams from the floor to your door" and allows users to purchase customized dreams and microdreams.
The application interface for SCP-2876 consists of a text box allowing the user to request a custom dream. They can also select a length of time for the dream, ranging from a microsecond to 72 hours. Once the purchase is complete, a message will then appear reading "DEDUCTION REDUCTION COMPLETE." The subject will then immediately lapse into REM sleep.
Analytical metadata recovered during containment shows that most of SCP-2876's users average between thirty minutes to an hour of usage at a time, with a small percentage of users utilizing it for the maximum amount of time. Users will describe any dreams they experience as being lucid and relatively accurate to their requests. In addition, subjects report being able to purchase additional dream time while asleep through in-dream menus that appear on command.

Review of SCP-2876 on [REDACTED] app store.

During this time, they are unusually resistant to being awoken and their heart ceases to beat, although other bodily functions continue as normal. SCP-2876-affected subjects utilizing it for longer than one hour will enter a somnambulatory state. Any mechanisms that an affected subject interacts with while in this state will function even if they are not powered. Examples of this activity include:

Microwave ovens cooking food despite not being powered.
Motor vehicles operating without the engine running, even running if the battery, engine, ignition and steering column were removed.
Local area networks will show inactive network-enabled devices accessing hundreds of websites at a time. Testing has shown that there is no upward limit on how long subjects are able to utilize battery-powered devices in this manner.
Subjects are able to navigate any darkened area as though it were lit if inactive lighting fixtures are present.

As users of SCP-2876 are frequently engaged in intense physical activities, they do not receive most of the restorative effects of sleep, and will frequently reactivate the application in the hope of getting rest. In addition to these regularly observed behaviors, there are several distinct groupings of SCP-2876 which appear in subjects regularly using long-term SCP-2876. These have been divided by research into four general categories.

Behavioral groups observed in sleepwalking SCP-2876 subjects.

Pattern I, "Observers"
Pattern I subjects appear to primarily observe their environment, seeking out mundane objects such as waste bins and street signs. They will attempt to document them through any means available to them. Any markings made on the subjects' body will be removed once they cease to be under SCP-2876's effect.

Pattern II, "Preceptors"
Exposing themselves to extreme temperatures, weather, depths and heights, Pattern II subjects focus on sensory excitement. In the short term, subjects may stand in front of opened iceboxes or attempt to touch hot irons. If given time and the opportunity, they will deliberately expose themselves to extreme and dangerous weather patterns such as blizzards or heat waves. They may also spend copious amounts of time running showers with hot and cold water.

Pattern III, "Thrill Seekers"
Pattern III subjects behave in a thrill-seeking manner, frequently placing themselves in deliberately dangerous situations. However this type of behavior goes against SCP-2876's documented TOS agreement and will cause the dream to be voided, usually resulting in early termination of the sleep cycle. Occasionally, subsequent resting may involve nightmares about grinding in some form.

Pattern IV, "Consumers"
Pattern IV subjects will attempt to eat massive quantities of food in great diversity, usually eating all foodstuffs in the subjects' possession and in longer dream transactions attempting to purchase large quantities of food from local sellers. In addition, these subjects frequently attempt to place anything they can see in their mouths. Subjects are reimbursed for any expenses and purchases during their time utilizing SCP-2876.

If a subject is killed or otherwise seriously injured during their time using SCP-2876, it will delete itself from any devices in the subject's possession. Surviving subjects show no memory of SCP-2876 and will rationalize their behavior if confronted, usually attributing it to drugs and alcohol. All other subjects who have used SCP-2876 will wake up in possession of a business card reading "Thanks for being a great host! We'll be back real soon!"
Addendum: On 01/02/2016, SCP-2876 received the first update documented during containment. Included with this document, it changed minor aspects of the user interface while also implying other functionalities of the application.

HEAD-SPACE VERSION and GROUND-SPACE VERSION 8.6.7.5.3.0.9

Improved review system, with sections for body feel, ectoplasmic congruence and accessibility
Automatic host tracking and alerts for body availability
Better filtering of intent from dream entities inquiring on availability
General fixes and dithering about

Any references to a parallel application for incorporeal entities indicated through patch notes included with the revision were taken out in subsequent updates. Further investigation by Foundation agents is ongoing.

« SCP-2875 | SCP-2876 | SCP-2877 »


Item #: SCP-2877
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2877-1 and SCP-2877-2 are contained in Hermetically Sealed Storage Unit-67b1 at Site-██. The storage unit is to be kept evacuated of gas at all times.
SCP-2877-3 is magnetically levitated at the center of a 1m diameter cobalt sphere. The cobalt shell of the sphere is 3mm thick with an interior coating of 0.3mm of iridium. The sphere is filled with pure neon gas pressurized to 1MPa. The temperature of the sphere is to be lowered as the neon is depleted, kept just above the boiling point of the gas. The sphere is mounted in a collapsible 4m x 4m x 2.5m cobalt enclosure, which is itself contained in Hermetically Sealed Storage Unit-67a2 at Site-██. A pure neon atmosphere is to be maintained within the storage unit at all times.
Once monthly, SCP-2877-3 must be moved into a newly prepared sphere by 3 D-Class personnel trained in Procedure 8997-Clever. After successful completion of Procedure 8997-Clever all material exposed to SCP-2877-3 is to be brought to no less than 2500K in temperature in Site-██'s Incinerator-23. This includes the original sphere and its liquid and gaseous contents, the original cobalt enclosure, the atmosphere of the storage unit, the D-Class personnel, their breathing apparatus and protective suits, and all tools used in Procedure 8997-Clever. The material can then be disposed of or reclaimed as non-anomalous.
Direct visual contact with SCP-2877-3 is prohibited, except by D-Class personnel to the extent required by Procedure 8997-Clever.
The materials listed in Document 2877-2 are not to come into contact with SCP-2877 outside of approved testing.
Description: SCP-2877-1 is a transparent rectangular block of dimensions 19.23cm x 12.57cm x 1.257m, weighing approximately 29kg. While slicing, deforming and re-adhering the material is possible, any piece of SCP-2877-1 will over time form a rectangular block of which 2 dimensions are approximately 1.257 metric units multiplied by a power of 10, otherwise keeping a constant density. Its refractive index is 7.00 at all wavelengths of light, lacking the expected variation that would normally split light into its components. All black-body radiation is produced at 12,570nm at room temperature, rather than emitting radiation across the Planck spectrum. The mechanism for either of these anomalies is unknown. SCP-2877-1's atomic mass is 10.67 and all attempts to separate it into isotopes of differing mass have failed. This indicates the substance is composed of particles other than protons, neutrons and electrons.
When SCP-2877-1 comes into direct contact with most materials containing an element with atomic number ending in 8, the element is converted into a similar but slightly lower mass of SCP-2877-1. There is no detectable energy release due to the change in mass. This reaction is prevented if the element is in a compound or alloy containing at least 7% by mass of an element with atomic number ending in 7. The link between these elements and SCP-2877-1 is unclear.
When SCP-2877-1 comes within approximately 12.5cm of the element radium4, equivalent masses of both are eliminated, replaced by a similar mass of alpha particles and, additionally, a small amount of ██████████. This reaction is prevented by the presence of iridium5 within approximately 1,250m; the iridium used in containment of SCP-2877-3 is sufficient to prevent the reaction throughout Site-██.
SCP-2877-2 and SCP-2877-3 were produced during an experiment attempting to discover the melting point of SCP-2877-1. See Incident Log 2877-2. SCP-2877-2 does not display any of the same elemental interactions as SCP-2877-1, while the nature of SCP-2877-3 makes testing impractical.
SCP-2877-2 is approximately 320kg of irregularly shaped solid chunks, matching the shape and density of the various equipment, structures and human tissue from which it was created during Incident 2877-2. It is a perfect mirror, reflecting 100% of all electromagnetic radiation. This makes its edges difficult to discern, which can be disorienting. It does not emit black-body radiation and is perfectly thermally insulating. It is also an electrical superconductor at all tested magnetic field strengths, up to 50T. It is unknown whether there is a temperature at which its properties change as these properties prevent its temperature from being measured or modified.
SCP-2877-3 is an iridescent magnetic solid described by exposed D-Class as a rainbow-colored metal domino. It causes anomalous chemical and/or nuclear reactions in all unshielded materials, making accurate measurements difficult to acquire. A thin solid or liquid layer of any pure element with atomic number ending in 7 provides shielding from the effect, though sufficient quantities of other solid or liquid matter will dissipate the effect. Only elemental iridium has been found to be resistant enough to provide prolonged shielding, with reaction rates slower by 5 orders of magnitude compared to other materials. The slowest reaction discovered is between iridium and gaseous neon, particularly at lower temperatures. These react to create a dense liquid. Bringing this liquid to 373K causes it to split into a variety of lighter elements and energetic neutrons. While the liquid appears to be composed of IrNe7 molecules with distinct atoms, the theoretical impossibility of this chemical compound and the nuclear fission caused by heating indicate an unidentified nuclear interaction.
Limited testing indicates that the presence of anomalous compounds accelerates further SCP-2877-3 induced reactions. Projections show that in the event of a containment breach, recontainment will become impractical after approximately █ months.
Direct human exposure to SCP-2877-3 causes the expected physiological damage. It also causes a variety of psychological symptoms, with visual contact accelerating the onset. These symptoms include but are not limited to mania, depression, persistent euphoria, depersonalization disorder, hallucinations, personification of SCP-2877-3, affinity towards SCP-2877-3, and severe antipathy towards SCP-2877-3. These are believed to be a side effect of the brain trauma caused by SCP-2877-3's physiological effects.
Discovery Log: SCP-2877 was discovered in Test Chamber-██ of Dimensional Research Site-███ during an experiment attempting [DATA EXPUNGED]. The mechanism of appearance appears to have been the spontaneous conversion of the chamber's gaseous oxygen and argon content into a 25kg rectangular block of SCP-2877-1. Junior Researcher Q██████ was successfully evacuated prior to asphyxiation. These results have not been successfully reproduced.
Incident Log 2877-2: A 50g SCP-2877-1 test sample was gradually heated to determine melting point. Upon reaching 823K, the test sample expanded to approximately 8 times its original volume and began to radiate erratically across the electromagnetic spectrum. During this time, all material absorbing the infrared wavelengths of this radiation was converted into SCP-2877-2. This included all test equipment, portions of the test chamber and observation chamber walls, floor and ceiling, the observation window, and approximately 80% of what was at the time Junior Researcher L████. After approximately 11 seconds the radiation ceased and the test sample contracted to 1/7th of its original volume. The test sample, later classified SCP-2877-3, rendered the adjacent test chambers, Dr. B██████, and 5 D-Class personnel anomalous before being contained. Dr. B██████ has been quarantined to prevent the spread of anomalous materials and permanently assigned as lead researcher of SCP-2877. The test chambers were demolished and all anomalous waste was neutralized in Incinerator-2 after thorough study.
Incident Log 2877-28: During a routine enactment of Procedure 8997-Clever, D-2877-52b violated protocol by maintaining prolonged visual contact with SCP-2877-3, leading to failure of the procedure.

Begin transcript at P+0:37, immediately following piercing of the original containment sphere.
D-2877-52B: Huh, I ain't sure why we ain't supposed to look at this stuff. It's just a rainbow-colored hunk of… stuff. Sorta pretty.
Junior Researcher B███: 52B, please follow procedure protocol and look away from the object. If you are not able to complete the procedure your release will be delayed.
D-2877-52B looks away from SCP-2877-3 after 16 seconds of visual contact.
D-2877-52A: I swear [52B] if you mess this shit up I will beat your redneck ass into the ground. I know you're a moron but if we just stick to the training we can get outta here.
Procedure continues as planned. Resume transcript at P+1:28.
D-2877-52A: Alright [52B], your turn. Flip the switch on the pump.
D-2877-52B: I'm… I'm havin' a little trouble here. The buttons don't look like they're seven to. The colors… they ain't right.
D-2877-52A: What are you talking about? They look fine from here. Press the damn pump button.
D-2877-52B: I can't tell… which one is that? I think…
D-2877-52A: Alright Doctor, [52B] is having some sort of aneurysm or something. Fucked up just like I said he would. What do we do now?
Junior Researcher B███: Relieve 52B of his duties. The pictographs on the buttons should be sufficient for you to continue. Complete as much of the procedure as you can. You will be extracted before your exposure reaches dangerous levels.
D-2877-52C: [Laughter] Is that all it takes to get out of doing this? Hey, oh no, my buttons are all purple. Can I go home now?
D-2877-52A: Shut it [52C], you aren't helping. Let's get this done and get out of here. Get out of the way [52B].
Before D-2877-52A can force him out of his seat, D-2877-52B presses a series of 7 buttons, lowering the replacement sphere and releasing the clamps, leaving SCP-2877-3 exposed in midair.
D-2877-52A: What the fuck [52B]? Come on [52C], let's get this thing back on the clamps!
D-2877-52B resumes visual contact with SCP-2877-3. D-2877-52A holds the sphere in place and D-2877-52C attempts to reengage the clamps. After approximately 6 seconds D-2877-52A's faceplate shatters due to accelerated deterioration caused by proximity to SCP-2877-3. D-2877-52A runs out of the cobalt enclosure and physically assaults the storage unit airlock.
D-2877-52A: Let me out of here! [Repeating]
D-2877-52C: Hear that? [52A]'s voice is all high. Screamin' like a little girl. [Laughter] Anyway, I think we could use that extraction now.
Junior Researcher B███: 52C, please close the enclosure door.
D-2877-52C: Oh… that's how this goes huh? Right, sure thing doc.
D-2877-52C complies. D-2877-52A falls unconscious.
D-2877-52B: This seven looks so… pretty. Like it's askin' me to stare at it. Colors I ain't never seven before. Think I should touch it?
D-2877-52C: You're fucked up [52B], it's just a chunk of rock. You know they're not lettin' us outta here? Nice job killin' us asswipe.
D-2877-52B: Whatever. I'm seven touch it.
D-2877-52B quickly approaches SCP-2877-3. At a distance of approximately 12cm, D-2877-52B's hands, arms, torso then head disintegrate into a variety of anomalous gases, aerosols and dusts.
D-2877-52C: Aw shit. Is that what's gonna happen to me doc? I'm startin' to feel a little numb…
Junior Researcher B███: No 52C, that won't happen unless you approach the object. However, it is causing irreversible changes in your brain and body chemistry. [Sighs] At this point you cannot continue with the procedure. Thank you for your cooperation 52C.
D-2877-52C silently observes SCP-2877-3 for the next 12 seconds.
D-2877-52C: I think… I understand? It can feel things are wrong here, it can see outside. It just wants to make it all look right. Something… seven [Unintelligible]. No, you're wrong! That's not how things are here! There was nothin' wrong with me before! [D-2877-52C raises 8 fingers.] How's this you piece of shit? Eight, eighty-eight, eight hundred eighty ei…
D-2877-52C's vital signs cease. At P+2:47, D-2877-52C's protective suit, epidermis and 3 leftmost toes and fingers ionize into an unidentified plasma. At P+3:14, the cobalt enclosure collapses due to structural compromise caused by production of Co5Ne2 crystals.

A backup team was brought in to complete Procedure 8997-Clever, doing so without additional complications. Analysis showed that SCP-2877-3's effect was inactive for the duration, allowing reuse of the backup team for next month's procedure. All anomalous materials and human remains were successfully gathered and neutralized in Incinerator-2. Due to new understanding of the possible psychological effects of exposure to SCP-2877-3, Dr. B██████ has been retired. Additionally, procedure equipment was modified to ignore certain counterproductive button sequences.
Incident Log 2877-37: Routine data analysis discovered a statistically unlikely pattern of suicides within approximately 500km of Site-██. These suicides coincided with enactments of Procedure 8997-Clever, and were limited to chemistry teachers who had just taught a unit on the concept of electron shells. One likely subject was identified and taken into custody while attempting to hang himself. The relevant interview transcript establishing a link to SCP-2877 is below.

Begin transcript at 38:15
Agent F████: I'm sorry for keeping you here so long Mr. W█████. I know we've covered this, but can you please explain again what caused your feelings of worthlessness?
Mr. W█████: I told you. It's all wrong! Everything I learned… always, forever, how can it be so ugly?
Agent F████: Yes, I understand that. But you haven't explained what is wrong and why. If you cooperate, we can help you, Mr. W█████. We can make you feel normal again. Don't you want to be there for your family like you've always been?
Mr. W█████: Yes I… I do. But cooperate or not, it doesn't change anything. Don't you see? Can't you? It's all eight eight eight. It's not eight. Eight is wrong. It's bumpy… slimy. Seven. Seven is so strong, so brave. Planck tells me. Didn't you hear him? His shell, it's wrong! Shells within shells. It's ugly… everything I say. So ugly…

At this point Mr. W█████ became unresponsive, and would not discuss the matter further in subsequent interviews. Amnestics were administered and resolved the issue temporarily. However, the next year Mr. W█████ successfully committed suicide upon reaching the same point in his syllabus.
Through orchestrated reductions in STEM funding in the affected area, the suicide rate has been reduced to an unremarkable level. This also coincided with a small reduction in the rate of the reactions caused by SCP-2877-3.
Addendum 2877-B: In light of the expense6 of containment of SCP-2877-3 and the possibility of triggering an XK-class scenario in the event of a prolonged containment breach, neutralization of SCP-2877-3 has been approved by vote of the O5 Council. Development of Procedure 10605-Iris is in progress to eliminate SCP-2877-3 through exposure to radium while minimizing the damage caused by separation from the iridium used in containment.

Footnotes
1. This unit has been modified to eliminate all nickel, cadmium and platinum components.
2. This unit has been modified to eliminate all nickel, cadmium and platinum components and to replace the non-conductive ceramic insulation with 0.01mm of iridium plating.
3. Incinerator-1 does not provide the required shielding against neutron radiation.
4. Element 88.
5. Element 77.
6. Expenditures of $6M yearly for purchase of 250kg of iridium and other materials.

« SCP-2876 | SCP-2877 | SCP-2878 »


Item #: SCP-2878
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2878 is to be contained within an airlocked Class 3 Destructive Entity containment cell. D-class personnel may enter the enclosure only as part of approved testing procedures. Non-expendable personnel are prohibited from entering the enclosure under any circumstances. All cleaning and maintenance is to be performed via non-autonomous drones.
UPDATE 27/07/20██: Any facility that houses SCP-2878 must have at least one Electromechanical Response Team on standby at all times. In the event that SCP-2878 breaches containment and immediate recontainment becomes unfeasible, it is to be summarily terminated by means of standard anti-mechanical ordnance.
Description: SCP-2878 is a vaguely humanoid entity primarily constructed from 316 surgical steel and consumer-grade electronics. Entity stands at 3.2m when fully erect, but normally assumes a hunched posture. It resembles a distorted human in shape, with thick, elongated arms and torso and short, thick legs. While capable of bipedal locomotion, its primary mode of transport is “knucklewalking” using all four limbs. Forelimbs possess sharp, five-pronged gripping appendages retracted during locomotion. Exterior covering originally consisted of lacquered sheet steel but is presently 80% damaged or missing.
SCP-2878 exhibits human or above-human intelligence but distinctly non-human psychology. It possesses great proficiency in the areas of generalized logical reasoning and problem-solving as well as specialized knowledge of mechanical engineering and cybernetic augmentation. It appears to lack any form of social intelligence or awareness and1 does not engage in communicative or recreational activity.
SCP-2878 is predatory and extremely hostile to humans, attacking on sight. Victims are pinned down and vivisected, having a number of their organs removed and prepared for transplantation. Discarded tissues are then externally processed into a semi-liquid slurry and consumed.
Human organs acquired in this manner are used to modify SCP-2878, replacing extant elements of its design. It displays a preference for repairing damaged or missing components but has occasionally been known to replace functional elements. As of 19/02/20██, the following biological modifications are visible:

The head of a Hispanic woman, approximately 30 years of age with brown eyes and black hair, mounted between shoulders. Lower jaw missing, massive scarring present. All senses appear to function normally. Immobile, excepting ocular muscles.
The skin of at least 7 individuals of varying age and ethnicity, covering areas where steel plating is absent.
A complex “stomach” composed of the combined digestive systems of at least 3 individuals and several unidentified mechanical components. Occupies most of torso interior. Intake just below head, no apparent means of waste disposal.
Two hearts engaged as pumps for a circulatory system connecting stomach construct to other biological components. Vascular fluid is significantly more viscous than human blood. Hearts show early signs of cardiomyopathy.
Nerve tissue slaved onto microprocessors throughout body.
Several complete legs replacing lower part of right hindlimb. Many display severe bruising and partial cell death as a result of damage sustained from supporting the weight of SCP-2878.

Addendum 1, Incident SCP-2878-B: Following a safety violation on 21/07/20██, Junior Researcher Bhatia was caught and killed by SCP-2878. SCP-2878 then proceeded to integrate Dr. Bhatia's respiratory system, vocal chords and central nervous system2. Six hours following the death of Dr. Bhatia, SCP-2878 began making wheezing and screaming vocalizations. After 12 hours, the vocalizations had developed into monosyllabic grunts. After 48 hours, on-site researchers recognized vocalizations as garbled Spanish. Project supervisor Dr. G███████ was alerted and 50 hours after the incident, communication was attempted via drone-mounted radio. Transcript follows:

Note: Translated from Spanish except as noted.
<Begin Log, 15:07 23/07/20██>
[SCP-2878 remains completely motionless throughout the conversation. Its speech is garbled and inconsistent, varying wildly in pitch and intonation.]Dr. G███████: Hello, SCP-2878. Can you hear me?
[SCP-2878 does not display any physical signs of having noticed the drone.]Dr. G███████: Excuse me, did you say my name?
SCP-2878 [in English]: Help.
Dr. G███████ [in English]: Help with what?
SCP-2878 [in Spanish again]: Complete. Friend. Metal. Disgust.
Dr. G███████: Can you give some indication that you understand me?SCP-2878 [in English, screaming]: Help!
<End Log, 15:09 23/07/20██>
Dr. G███████ immediately ceased communications and notified Site Director K████.

Addendum 2, Incident SCP-2878-B official response:

Dr. G███████, in light of recent revelations regarding the nature of SCP-2878 and its potential as a security risk, the additional containment procedures you requested have been approved.
Appraisal of your other requests is suspended pending psychological evaluation. You have an appointment with Dr. Abalan tomorrow afternoon; SCP-2878 is scheduled for testing next Monday.
- █████ ████, Assistant Site Director

Footnotes
1. See Addendum 1
2. This marks the first occasion on which SCP-2878 has been observed to add entirely new components.
3. Dr. Bhatia's Project-Specific Personal Identification Number for SCP-2878

« SCP-2877 | SCP-2878 | SCP-2879 »


The vehicle driven by SCP-2879-1. Identifying logos and numbers have been redacted.

Item #: SCP-2879
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2879 is to be kept in a secure storage locker at Site-18. Access is restricted to personnel with Level-2 clearance or greater. Access codes are to be changed on a monthly basis. Permission to perform tests involving SCP-2879 may only be granted by researchers with Level-3 clearance or higher. All testing is to take place at the residence constructed by the Foundation ██ miles east of Site-18 specifically for tests involving SCP-2879. Contents of packages received from SCP-2879-1 are to be logged, photographed, and incinerated. Severe penalties are enforced if any personnel attempt to keep packages for themselves or conduct testing anywhere other than the designated residence.
Description: SCP-2879 is a [REDACTED]-brand Video Home System (VHS) player circa 19██. SCP-2879 possesses signs of wear typical for devices of similar age.
SCP-2879's initial anomalous effects manifest once it is connected to a television by a lone human while in an isolated area.1 Once connected, the television will switch on automatically and display the following text: "SPOT THE DISCREPANCY! PLEASE INSERT TAPE".
SCP-2879 is capable of accepting any video tape of the VHS format, provided that the tape is in working order and contains a major motion picture. SCP-2879 will play the motion picture with video and audio quality that does not deviate from what the format is capable of. During the motion picture, a slight deviation will occur. A brief set of witnessed deviations is as follows:

Return of the Jedi: The lightsabers used by Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader during their climactic duel briefly change into the rods used by Mark Hamill and David Prowse during filming.

Scarface: Tony Montana shouts "Greet my little friend!" instead of the actual quote, "Say hello to my little friend!"

Die Hard: The message written by John McClain on the deceased terrorist reads "Now I have a machine gun. Merry Christmas." instead of the actual statement, "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Once the motion picture reaches its conclusion, SCP-2879 will eject the video tape and display a thirty minute countdown timer with the following text: "DID YOU SEE IT?". The television will switch itself off once the timer hits 00:00. No further anomalous effects will occur if the viewing subject failed to consciously determine what the alteration in the film was.
The final anomalous effect of SCP-2879 will occur fourteen business days after the viewing if the subject did indeed manage to make the conscious determination.2 A vehicle belonging to the [REDACTED] delivery company will arrive at the subject's current place of residence. An individual designated as SCP-2879-1 will then exit the vehicle and deliver a package to the subject.
So far, every package received has contained a piece of merchandise related to the film that has been autographed by the director(s) and members of the main cast. Detailed analysis of the signatures confirms that they are genuine. A brief list of received merchandise is as follows:

A Return of the Jedi theatrical poster, signed by Richard Marquand, Mark Hamill, David Prowse, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher.

A transparent plastic package labelled "Yayo", signed by Brian De Palma, Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Steven Bauer. Chemical analysis of the contents confirm that the package contained nothing more than typical kitchen flour.

A gray sweater reading "NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN. HO HO HO", written in a substance identified as being false blood. The sweater is signed by John McTiernan, Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, and Reginald VelJohnson.

SCP-2879 Test Logs--LEVEL-3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED

- Clearance Accepted

Test #██

Date of Test: ██/██/20██
Objective: Detain SCP-2879-1 and determine its anomalous properties, if any.
Results: SCP-2879-1 was detained without incident during a delivery. A thorough interrogation determined that SCP-2879-1 suffers from a severe level of amnesia that prevents it from recalling events prior to arriving at the latest viewing subject's residence. Subsequent DNA testing confirmed that SCP-2879-1 is a Caucasian male in between the ages of 25 and 30 with no abnormal physical characteristics.
Analysis: Highly forgetful, yet otherwise normal. Curious. -Dr. ██████

Test #██

Date of Test: ██/██/20██
Objective: Track SCP-2879-1's vehicle and determine where it goes after leaving the viewing subject's residence.
Results: Agent ████ attached a GPS tracking device onto the underside of SCP-2879-1's vehicle during a delivery. Eight minutes and thirty-two seconds (00:08:32) after departing, the tracking software lost communication with the tracking device. Field agents sent to investigate the last known location of SCP-2879-1's vehicle were unable to determine its location.
Analysis: The vehicle appears to vanish from existence entirely. My theory is that the disappearance only occurs when SCP-2879-1 is out of direct view. I'll need to authorize further testing in order to confirm this. -Dr. ██████

Test #██

Date of Test: ██/██/20██
Objective: Tail SCP-2879-1's vehicle for as long as reasonably possible.
Results: Agent ████ attached a GPS tracking device onto the underside of SCP-2879-1's vehicle during a delivery in the same manner as before. Upon SCP-2879-1's departure, Agent ████ maintained a visual on the vehicle with high-powered binoculars while an unmarked Foundation helicopter manned by Agent █████ departed from Site-18 and moved in to intercept. The helicopter maintained a visual on SCP-2879-1's vehicle for two hours and eighteen minutes(02:18:00) before returning to Site-18. Two hours, forty-six minutes, and twelve seconds (02:46:12) after the initial departure of SCP-2879-1's vehicle, the tracking software lost communication with the tracking device.
Analysis: Soon after the helicopter's disengagement, SCP-2879-1 vanished from existence once again. It is likely that the extra time was spent evading prying eyes in the form of civilian vehicles taking the same highway. Further testing in this area is not required. -Dr. ██████

Addendum: SCP-2879 was recovered from the home of a New Mexico resident by the name of ████ ███, who had been selling excessive amounts of autographed merchandise for various movies on ████.com. The individual's ████ account was taken down upon discovery by Foundation operatives, and he was administered amnestics after an interrogation in which he claimed to have purchased SCP-2879 from a local pawn shop whose owner described it as once being used for "some old game." Buyers of the sold merchandise were informed by Foundation operatives posing as ████ employees that the merchandise was discovered to consist entirely of worthless forgeries and were subsequently provided financial compensation. During a cursory investigation, the mentioned pawn shop was found to have closed down fourteen business days after selling SCP-2879 to ████ ███. Attempts to locate the owner are ongoing.
An extensive search of the pawn shop was authorized shortly after the cursory examination. The business still contained a substantial amount of merchandise common with shops of its nature. A floor safe was discovered in the office of the now-absent owner, which contained five thousand U.S. dollars, a photograph of an as-of-yet unidentified woman, and a promotional poster created by the [REDACTED] entertainment company that appears to describe SCP-2879. The transcript of the poster is as follows:

Introducing "Spot the Discrepancy'', the hottest game of the generation! The movies you know and love have been altered, and it's your job to discover what was changed! All you need to play is a copy of a movie you love in the VHS format and one of our specially-designed VCR's, available at a store near you. This is a single player experience, so wait your turn! Thanks to the ever-abundant generosity of [COMPANY NAME REDACTED], we are able to ship rewards straight to your door in only two weeks at absolutely no charge to you! "Rewards?", you ask? That's right, winning this game grants you ownership of limited-edition merchandise signed by cinematic legends George Lucas, Al Pacino, Steven Spielberg, Mike Myers, and many, many more! So remember: When boredom is your enemy, pick up and play Spot the Discrepancy!

Investigations into the poster's claims confirmed that the mentioned company never created the entertainment product described by the poster, nor was the mentioned delivery company ever in the described partnership. When interviewed by Foundation personnel posing as freelance reporters, the mentioned individuals could not recall autographing merchandise for any games matching the description of the one presented by the poster. Additional instances of SCP-2879 have yet to be discovered.

Footnotes
1. The presence of video surveillance equipment does not disrupt the anomalous effects of SCP-2879.
2. Subjects who viewed the motion picture via remote surveillance cannot trigger the final anomalous effect.

« SCP-2878 | SCP-2879 | SCP-2880 »


SCP-2880-A35 partially reconstructed, on display at the █████ ███████ Museum prior to its containment.

Item #: SCP-2880
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The one hundred and forty nine (149) known SCP-2880-A objects are contained in Secure Containment Locker 2880-A at Site-74, disassembled. Those who wish to reconstruct more than eighty-five (85) percent of an SCP-2880-A object for the purposes of testing should notify Site Command prior to their research. If an SCP-2880-A object is used for testing purposes, the SCP-2880-A object it is paired with should also be assembled and stored in a monitored, habitable location. Unless required for the purposes of testing, personnel handling reconstructed SCP-2880-A objects should not expose bare skin to the surface of the object.
All known SCP-2880-B artifacts that can be safely relocated have been moved to Secure Containment Lockers 2880-B1 through -B32, also at Site-74. Any researcher with at least level 2 clearance may access SCP-2880-B artifacts with the supervision of a member of the Site-74 Archeology department.
SCP-2880-B buildings and artifacts which cannot be safely relocated are stored at Provisional Areas 2880-B1 through -B68, located throughout the southern Pacific Ocean. Personnel assigned to provisional areas 2880-B1 through -B68 should be briefed by their Area Director on the cover story used by their assigned facility.
Description: SCP-2880-A is a collection of destroyed earthenware pottery platforms of a uniform design. SCP-2880-A objects, when reconstructed, are approximately thirty (30) centimetres in diameter at their widest point and approximately six (6) centimetres in height at their tallest point.
An SCP-2880-A object will not display any anomalous qualities unless at least approximately ninety (90) percent of both it and the SCP-2880-A object it is paired with are reconstructed into its original design and there are two (2) metres of space between the top of both objects and any solid objects above them. The second criterion is believed to be a safety feature purposely induced by SCP-2880-B.
Humans1 that expose their bare skin to the surface of a reconstructed SCP-2880-A object will disappear. Within 0.07 seconds, subjects will reappear on the SCP-2880-A that is paired with the item that the subject touched. SCP-2880-A objects are pairwise connected and each consistently transports subjects to a single other SCP-2880-A object. Items with a volume of less than three cubic meters in contact with the subject, such as clothing or handheld objects, are also transported, with the exception of the SCP-2880-A object itself. Upon the disappearance of the subject, a quantity of fluid (in the majority of tests, air or water) with the same volume as the subject will disappear at the location of the subject's reappearance and be transported to the location of the subject's disappearance. The subject will fill the vacuum left by the disappearance of the volume of fluid, and the fluid will fill the vacuum left by the disappearance of the subject.
Subjects transported by an SCP-2880-A object consistently display a far lower core temperature2 than usual upon their arrival and are often coated in saline water, even in tests not involving submerged SCP-2880-A objects. The majority of subjects report mild disorientation, nausea and headaches after using SCP-2880-A objects repeatedly. Long-term use of SCP-2880-A objects can cause repeated auditory, visual and tactile hallucinations in affected subjects. Recurring themes in these hallucinations include drowning, storms, and a large coastal cityscape.
SCP-2880-B is the Foundation designation for the Savaki culture, the prehistoric Bronze Age Pacific Island society that created and utilized SCP-2880-A. SCP-2880-B controlled a large number of western Pacific islands between Taiwan and Hawai'i from about 2500 BCE to 1700 BCE, at which point they were gradually replaced by the Lapita culture and other pre-Polynesian groups. The disappearance of SCP-2880-B is believed to have coincided with the destruction of SCP-2880-A. The reliance on SCP-2880-A for trade, travel and transportation of resources is the most likely cause for the decline of SCP-2880-B's society.
It is currently not understood why the SCP-2880-A objects were destroyed, or why SCP-2880-B chose not to rebuild them.
Addendum:

Abridged List of SCP-2880-B Areas

A full list of SCP-2880-B areas can be found in Document 2880-B-Aleph

Area Designation
Location of Area
SCP-2880-A Object(s) Recovered
Notes

Provisional Area 2880-B1
The entirety of Savaki3
SCP-2880-A1, SCP-2880-A2, SCP-2880-A3, SCP-2880-A16
Largest and earliest discovered group of SCP-2880-B sites. Due to its extremely high density of SCP-2880-B artifacts, the existence of the island has been expunged from public records. The majority of SCP-2880-B sites discovered are believed to have been destroyed by storm damage.

Provisional Area 2880-B2
Approximately two kilometers east of Lorengau, Manus Island, Papua New Guinea
SCP-2880-A4
The majority of artifacts discovered at the site were created by the Lapita culture, but a small minority were created by SCP-2880-B. The style and content of several petroglyphs indicate that they were created by SCP-2880-B. The petroglyphs, which date to approximately 1600 BCE, depict several humanoid figures and animals fleeing from a larger humanoid figure, believed to represent a member of SCP-2880-B.

Provisional Area 2880-B3
The western coast of Yonaguni, Japan
SCP-2880-A5, SCP-2880-A6, SCP-2880-A8, SCP-2880-A12
The site discovered is believed to have been used by SCP-2880-B as a trading post of some kind. Recovered artifacts indicate that SCP-2880-B regularly traded with the Longshan culture, Middle Jomon peoples, and the Indus Valley Civilization.

Provisional Area 2880-B4
Honolulu Watershed Forest Reserve, Oahu, United States
SCP-2880-A7, SCP-2880-A9
The SCP-2880-B site discovered was initially believed to be a mass grave, due to the large quantity of skeletons within it. However, later study of SCP-2880-B indicated that they removed the heads of bodies prior to burying them and stored them in a separate location, disproving this initial hypothesis. The site is now believed to be the location of a large battle or revolt against SCP-2880-B. Mitochondrial DNA extracted from the molars of the skeletons indicate that the battle was between SCP-2880-B and another proto-Polynesian group not native to the island.

Provisional Area 2880-B9
Northern coast of Motu Tiahura, French Polynesia
SCP-2880-A14, SCP-2880-A15, SCP-2880-A43
Provisional Area 2880-B9 represents the first time two connected SCP-2880-A objects (SCP-2880-A14 and SCP-2880-A-15) were discovered on the same island. As SCP-2880-A15 was discovered within the remains of an outrigger canoe, it is believed that it was to be transported to another island. Other recovered artifacts indicate that the transport of SCP-2880-A15 was interrupted by a conflict between SCP-2880-B and another group.

Provisional Area 2880-B10
Mt. Silisili, Savai'i, Samoa
SCP-2880-A18, SCP-2880-A19, SCP-2880-A20, SCP-2880-A21, SCP-2880-A22, SCP-2880-A23, SCP-2880-A24, SCP-2880-A25
The most notable feature of the SCP-2880-B site contained within Area 2880-B10 is a large, fortified structure believed to have acted as the residence of the leader(s?) of SCP-2880-B during its period of dominance. A mass grave is located beneath the "courtyard" portion of the structure. Approximately two hundred skeletons, with their skulls removed, are arranged in multiple symmetrical patterns within the grave. Mitochondrial DNA extracted from the molars of the removed skulls indicate that the bodies came from various south-western Pacific societies known to SCP-2880-B, and that none of the bodies were members of SCP-2880-B. Examination of the bones indicates that those buried at the site were cannibalised prior to their death. The structure is believed to have been destroyed during a conflict between SCP-2880-B and another group at approximately the same time as the destruction of SCP-2880-A.

Provisional Area 2880-B35
Langila, New Britain, Papua New Guinea
SCP-2880-A52
The majority of artifacts discovered at the site were created by the Lapita culture, but a small minority were created by SCP-2880-B. Two SCP-2880-B petroglyphs have been recovered from the site. The first depicts two large groups of humanoid figures armed with spears fighting each other, surrounded by spherical objects believed to represent SCP-2880-A. The second petroglyph depicts the two groups being killed by a large humanoid figure surrounded by storm motifs. Lines emerge from the depicted SCP-2880-A objects into the large humanoid figure. It is currently unknown what the humanoid figure represents.

Footnotes
1. Hereafter referred to as "subjects"
2. Generally between 0.75 and 1.25 degrees Celsius lower
3. A small island approximately two hundred kilometres south-east of Taiwan

« SCP-2879 | SCP-2880 | SCP-2881 »


SCP-2881

Item #: SCP-2881
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2881 is to remain at its current location. A chain link fence has been installed surrounding the area of SCP-2881, which is to be guarded by one security officer during all park operating hours. No unauthorized individuals are to be permitted within the area designated to SCP-2881.
Description: SCP-2881 is a member of the tree species Pinus ponderosa (ponderosa pine) located in ███████ National Park, ██████████. SCP-2881 measures roughly 13.9 meters at its highest point. Several planks of an unknown wood are nailed into the trunk of SCP-2881 at 5.3 meters above ground level. Given the anomalous properties of SCP-2881 it is unknown if or how they were installed. Holes are located at several points up the trunk of SCP-2881 between 12 cm and 3 m from previous installations of climbing spurs. Typical of trees of its kind, SCP-2881 has no branches lower than 7 m above ground level.
SCP-2881's anomalous properties manifest any time a human being attempts to climb it by the installation or use of climbing spikes, spurs, studs, or grips. Any individual to attempt to make vertical progress up the surface of SCP-2881 will report experiencing themselves doing so; however, on reexamination of their location will retain their starting positions. This same effect is applied to any individual watching another climb SCP-2881, either in person or on live video feed. Recorded testing played after the conclusion of a test shows subjects making no effort to climb; however, all dialogue and actions unrelated to climbing remain consistent with live observation.
Individuals placed onto SCP-2881 at a height above 3m by external means report feeling uncomfortable and "strangely heavy." No changes in weight or gravity have ever been observed while in contact with SCP-2881. Test subjects report a greater effect at higher points on SCP-2881. Testing has not been conducted using mechanical assistance. (See Incident-2881-1)
Incident-2881-1: Foundation personnel attempted to install a pulley to a branch of SCP-2881 on the date of ██/██/89 for the purposes of testing assisted elevation. D-4375 used an elevated work platform to reach a branch and install the mechanism. Upon making contact with a branch of SCP-2881 approximately 8.2 m above ground level D-4375 appeared to enter a trance and stopped responding to personnel. D-4375 detached himself from the platform and climbed onto the branch of SCP-2881, then proceeded to scale the branches of SCP-2881 until no longer visible to Foundation staff. All attempts made to contact D-4375 failed.
Roughly two hours later, D-4375 fell from SCP-2881 at a speed estimated to exceed terminal velocity and was dead on impact with the ground. Autopsy reports concluded that D-4375 had died several days prior by hanging from the neck. The body had several lacerations around the face, forearms, and legs. Testing of SCP-2881 is ongoing.

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