Item #: SCP-2725
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2725 is kept anchored in a reinforced hangar at Site-88. Several tracking devices have been attached to its surface for recovery purposes. Instances of SCP-2725-1A or 1B that attempt to escape the containment hangar are to be sedated. The vehicle is to be inspected monthly, and the Site Director has approved of relegating repair operations to SCP-2725-1A under the supervision of security. Personnel are to supply SCP-2725-1A with scrap material for this purpose.
SCP-2725-1D is kept in a cryogenic containment cell. Instances of SCP-2725-1A that approach within five meters of SCP-2725-1D must be returned to the hangar.
Global atmospheric surveillance of SCP-2725-2 is conducted using satellites and ground observation outposts. Response to confirmed sightings is to divert aircraft within a two kilometer radius away from SCP-2725-2's location to mitigate the probability of hostile encounters.
Description: SCP-2725 is the salvaged remains of the USS Akron, a helium-filled rigid airship formerly belonging to the U.S. Navy. The vehicle has been extensively repaired and modified with scrap material and organic matter to permit continued function after its destruction in 1933.
Majority of the outer envelope has been replaced by a membranous material that forms sail-like structures across the upper and lateral surface. The lateral propellers appear to have been repaired and the water recovery slots replaced by an array of apertures containing harpoons and mounted turrets. A pair of large cannons have been attached on the upper anterior hull, close to the crow's nest. Most of the duralumin framework appears to have been supplemented by additional girders.
In the interior, the gas cells have been reinforced with additional plating and the insides are lined with a mat of microbial growth that produces helium for buoyancy. At the stern, the auxiliary control room has been entirely removed, and the rear spaces serve as a den for SCP-2725-1A. The gasoline engines have been repaired and are connected to a heart-like organic structure that, through an unknown mechanism, supplies power to the entire vehicle.
At the anterior end, the control room has expanded in size, taking up part of the forward gangway and reaching halfway up the hull. The hangar has been carved out to accommodate SCP-2725-1C. Several large ports arranged laterally along the upper hull and lower hull are linked to hollowed-out chambers where SCP-2725-1B resides. Several other chambers have been constructed within the airship for various purposes. The spy basket appears to have been disposed of.
SCP-2725 frequently maintains an anomalous ellipsoid field, approximately 270 meters long, 110 meters wide and 60 meters high, that renders the object invisible to outside visual and radar observation. It is presumed that this field can be diminished, which would explain the initial sightings of the object. SCP-2725 travels at an average speed of 100 km/h, with a fastest recorded speed at 150 km/h. The airship has been observed to move at varying altitudes without being visibly affected by changing air temperatures.
SCP-2725-1 is a collective designation comprising the sentient entities that inhabit and maintain SCP-2725. SCP-2725-1A and 1B creatures are born in a pod-like structure near the lower rear end of the airship to maintain a steady population.

SCP-2725-1A: SCP-2725-1A are insectoid creatures resembling black woodlice, measuring 1.8 meters in length. They have two pairs of grasping claws and can secrete an organic adhesive from their mouths. SCP-2725-1A are the most numerous instances present and serve to repair any damage on SCP-2725 as well as add materials to its structure.
SCP-2725-1B: Pterosaur-like organisms with a wingspan of up to six meters. The creatures display bioluminescent bodies and are primarily used to assist SCP-2725 in nocturnal navigation, but will also defend it against any perceived threats.
SCP-2725-1C: A large, tentacled creature inhabiting the hangar of SCP-2725. SCP-2725-1C is responsible for gunnery aim and control. Several of its tentacles stretch throughout the interior, some of which extend out of the hull and are theorized to function as detection systems. Another group of tentacles is situated inside the hangar, which can extend to a length of 17 meters. These tentacles are used to capture objects of interest.
SCP-2725-1D: SCP-2725-1D is an animate human corpse situated in the cockpit, wearing a military uniform and fused with radio equipment for communication. The entity appears to command SCP-2725, as well as SCP-2725-1A, 1B and 1C. SCP-2725-1D is in possession of an Enfield No. 2 modified with organic matter, but has never been observed using it.

SCP-2725 constantly pursues a hostile airborne lifeform, designated SCP-2725-2. SCP-2725-2 is a segmented, serpentine creature 350 m in length, with a pair of undulating, five meter long wings at each segment. SCP-2725-2 has not been observed to feed and possesses advanced camouflaging capabilities, allowing it to remain undetected to visual and radar observation.
SCP-2725 and SCP-2725-2 appear to engage in combat whenever they encounter each other. In several cases both objects have been witnessed dropping their camouflaging mechanisms. SCP-2725 has been observed to lethally injure SCP-2725-2 using its weapons and SCP-2725-1B. Observations show that the object frequently targets the creature's wings. On the other hand, SCP-2725-2 attempts to wrap itself around the airship and crush it using constriction. To date, SCP-2725 and SCP-2725-2 have engaged in 27 recorded incidents.
Addendum: Item History
SCP-2725 was first sighted on February 24, 1942 over California. Air raid wardens from the 37th Coast Artillery Brigade were the first eyewitnesses, and in panic sounded an alarm at 6:57 PM, causing a succession of alarms. Within hours a total blackout was ordered across the Los Angeles County and anti-aircraft guns were readied, though pursuit airplanes remained grounded. Between 12:00 PM and 1:00 AM, SCP-2725 was sighted moving northwest from Culver City to Santa Monica. During this time the Coast Artillery Brigade began firing at the object and were able to cause some damage. SCP-2725 was last seen flying away from the Santa Monica area at 4:15 AM. The "all clear" and lifting of the blackout order were announced at 7:12 AM. Building and vehicle damage from shell fragments were reported, as well as five civilian deaths, three of which were the result of car accidents caused by the panic.
Due to the scale of the event and the rapid coverage of the media, the Foundation focused its efforts on covering up the incident as a false alarm triggered by growing war anxiety and the reports of unidentified targets were attributed to weather balloons, flares and anti-aircraft rounds. Most of the photos taken by eyewitnesses were confiscated and/or edited to support this explanation prior to being given to news outlets. Working with the US military, Navy Secretary Frank Knox delivered a press conference the following day to propagate the cover-up. The 37th Coast Artillery Brigade and other associated military officials also cooperated to deliver additional false information and ensuring the uncertainty of the incident's cause.
From 1942 to 1963, SCP-2725 was seen in different locations across the globe at least 12 times. In multiple instances, the object was reported salvaging raw materials from both air and watercraft. In all cases, said craft were abandoned. SCP-2725-2 was also first sighted during this period, engaging SCP-2725 in 5 of the 12 reported encounters.
SCP-2725 was not seen again until 1972, when the airship was reported 200 kilometers southwest of ██████, ███████. The Foundation launched three reconnaissance airplanes from Site-88 to investigate. It was during this investigation that initial contact with SCP-2725-1D was made. However, communication was interrupted when SCP-2725-2 appeared, destroying two of the surveillance planes. The third plane interfered in the conflict, allowing SCP-2725 to injure SCP-2725-2 and forcing the creature to retreat. SCP-2725-1D, believing the act to be a form of assistance, offered to repair the damage inflicted on the reconnaissance plane. However the plane had crashed into the sea after the scuffle and was recovered by Foundation vessels one hour later. SCP-2725, meanwhile, disappeared again and was never sighted for the next twenty-one years.
SCP-2725 was finally contained in 1993, when it was sighted hovering just above the surface of the Pacific Ocean, five hundred kilometers west of ██████ with its camouflaging field disabled. Initial investigation of the ship showed that SCP-2725-1A was active, repairing a damaged gas cell and the device presumed to be responsible for generating the cloaking field. SCP-2725-1D was found sitting in the cockpit of the airship. After securing the vehicle the Foundation dragged it to the hangar of Site-88 for further study. Examination of SCP-2725-1D revealed that it made a recording on its radio:

Final Log: After my repeated failures in destroying the serpent, I am regrettably forced to surrender my badge of duty. My superiors told me that the fate of my ship or my crew is beyond my concern now. I don't know what will happen from this point on, but I sincerely hope that someone else can succeed where I failed. The skies will never be safe so long as that monster lives.

Addendum:
During the examination of SCP-2725-1D, researchers recovered a bronze key around the subject's neck. Exploration of SCP-2725 showed that the key unlocked a previously-inaccessible chamber in the ship. This chamber was presumed to be SCP-2725-1D's living quarters. From this room the Foundation recovered the following:

19 wall trophies of unknown organisms, presumed to have been caught and stuffed by SCP-2725-1D.
Several maps dating back to the 1930s and 40s.
A photograph depicting SCP-2725 and its crew, as well as five unknown individuals and an unidentified flying creature. The note on the back says "1962- V-Day!" and is signed by the labels G.M.
Pieces of an M1 Garand.
Three red eggs weighing approximately 45 pounds. Analysis confirms that they are dormant.

« SCP-2724 | SCP-2725 | SCP-2726 »


Item #: SCP-2726
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: One instance of SCP-2726, designated SCP-2726-001, is kept on a private ████████ page operated by the Foundation. The account in question must not interact with any other ████████ accounts, and is used exclusively for the purpose of performing research on SCP-2726 and communicating with SCP-2726-A. One individual, currently Dr. Prasad, is to remain the sole direct observer of SCP-2726-001, and must adhere to an appropriate cover story during interactions with SCP-2726-A. As Dr. Prasad and SCP-2726-A have developed a rapport, the cover story restriction has been lifted for the duration of Dr. Prasad's involvement with the SCP-2726 project. See Interview Log 2726-D3.
Personnel are to manually search ████████, beginning with the known acquaintances and general milieu of "mashedpork", for instances of SCP-2726. Each page must be viewed on no less than eleven separate occasions before SCP-2726's absence can be confirmed. Instances must be deleted upon identification, and all known viewers must be amnesticized as appropriate. Web Crawler MASHEDPORK-0A-2726 is set to remove all material referring to SCP-2726.
Description: SCP-2726 is the collective designation for an estimated 200 25 posts on social media site ████████, attributed to the user "mashedpork". The account in question was deleted before SCP-2726 developed anomalous properties; as such, SCP-2726 is composed of those posts that were shared to another user's page prior to the account's deletion. The original operator of mashedpork has not been identified conclusively.1
The contents of SCP-2726 are controlled by a sapient entity, designated SCP-2726-A, claiming to be a "ghost" of mashedpork's operator. SCP-2726-A communicates by altering the contents of SCP-2726 in real-time via an unknown method; changes can be detected by refreshing the web browser, and input can be sent to SCP-2726-A using ████████'s built-in "Reply" function. SCP-2726-A is aware of how many individuals are observing SCP-2726 at any given time, as well as any conversations it has had with the individuals in question.
SCP-2726 instances and their contents cannot be located by any tested search algorithm, all of which ignore SCP-2726's presence. Individuals deliberately searching for SCP-2726 will frequently (~80% of the time) fail to identify the presence of an instance on any site with other content, making it difficult to confirm that SCP-2726 is not present on any given ████████ page.

Interview Log 2726-D3
SCP-2726-A was interviewed on 2016-07-18 by Dr. Prasad. No specific agenda was set for the interview; to date, it has been the most informative with regards to SCP-2726. The transcript is presented in standard format for readability purposes.

+ Show interview

- Hide interview

SCP-2726-A: mooooom just five more minutes
Dr. Prasad: Is this a bad time for you?
SCP-2726-A: time is illegal for ghosts actually. what's up?
Dr. Prasad: The usual. Work is slowing down at least.
How are you feeling?
SCP-2726-A: as it turns out ghostland does not have prozac so. still sad. i'm working on it.
but then again that stuff is probably why i'm dead so i can't complain.
i'm not even sure i can actually commit ghost suicide. is double death possible in real life?
Dr. Prasad: That's not really my area of expertise.
SCP-2726-A: I Wish A Green Asshole Would Break Into My Ghost House And Shoot A Mouth Laser At Me Double-Killing Me Instantly
oh hey is today the 18th
Dr. Prasad: Yep.
SCP-2726-A: it's been two months since i was created then woohoo
Dr. Prasad: I thought you died on May 14th?
SCP-2726-A: well yeah but it took the lads four days to get this set up. surprisingly getting a ghost to replicate your dead friend on the online is a really involved process.
apparently you have to make a sacrifice to the corn god which is pretty fucked up since corn is a mother fuck of a shit.
Dr. Prasad: Replicate?
SCP-2726-A: it's like that one episode of black mirror where she gets a robot looking like her dead bf that acts like him cuz it downloaded all of his social media posts.
except instead of a robot i'm a ghost.
Dr. Prasad: Oh. That makes sense.
SCP-2726-A: have i mentioned that dick mirror sucks?
you know what i'm gonna rant about that show now.
Dr. Prasad: Go right ahead.
SCP-2726-A: like putting aside the fact that they flip a coin about whether to put banksy on the writing team for each episode and how they could do so much more if they weren't stuck on one episode per setting they just have no clue about the whole scope of things that technology can actually do.
i mean not everyone runs with weirdo magic netizens so that's probably not a fair criticism but still like believe me when i say that half of this stuff is like super pedestrian from my standpoint of view.
"ohh in this dystopia everybody has to jog all the time and reality tv is shallow and it's mean bluh bluh"
yeah tell me when you can downvote people into popcorn hell and also rig their posts to blow up in real life. maybe that'll get my attention.
i'm probably not doing a good job of making my point here. there's a reason i don't do litcrit shit.
Dr. Prasad: You're doing fine, but if there are specific examples of things you think might happen in real life, that would help drive it home.
SCP-2726-A: nice try officer.
Dr. Prasad: Can you blame me though?
SCP-2726-A: yes. bad boy. *hits you with a rolled-up newspaper*
Dr. Prasad: *Phases through it because I'm a hologram*
SCP-2726-A: it's a holographic newspaper.
Dr. Prasad: In that case, "Ow."
SCP-2726-A: anyways where were we? i feel like we got off track.
Dr. Prasad: You were talking about how you became a ████████ ghost, and then you complained about Black Mirror.
SCP-2726-A: oh right. that's one mystery solved for ya.
Dr. Prasad: Any idea why your posts are so hard to find?
SCP-2726-A: oh yeah i was wondering when you'd ask that.
like you know those urban legends and stuff where something spooky is out on the web somewhere but nobody knows where and it's just sort of a mystery thing you'd run into at some point?
Dr. Prasad: I think I know what you're talking about, yeah.
SCP-2726-A: well that's indisputably cool as fuck but also not something you can normally do these days.
day 1 thing happens
day 2 someone finds thing and it goes viral
day 3 it's trending on google and twitter
day 4 buzzfeed article You'll Never Guess How This Girl's Friends Memorialized Her After Her Suicide
day 5 fine bros video Teens React To Digital Ghost
etc.
the internet ruined the internet so we don't get to have nice things any more.
the lads knew how i felt. thankfully magic is real so they set this up for me and i get to just be a chill thing that people happen across every once in a while without being a big deal.
Dr. Prasad: That sounds awfully nice of them.
SCP-2726-A: yeah i'm a creepypasta now. dysphoria = cured.
Dr. Prasad: Maybe I've heard of these "lads"?
SCP-2726-A: i mean i don't know if you specifically have but we both know you're a janitor sooo
Dr. Prasad: You're confusing me with my younger brother, I think.
SCP-2726-A: lmao you're so bad at lying. i mean janitor as in you're one of the guys that goes around and cleans up all the magic stuff that happens. like you're with the government or something.
Dr. Prasad: It's that obvious to you?
SCP-2726-A: i mean i figured it out eventually.
but whatever i maintained a strictly cool calm and collected internet persona (i've been in full control of my emotions with every keystroke i make) so i literally do not know how to hold that against you. weird huh.
sometimes i wonder how i felt about stuff in life.
the lads are 'gamers against weed' they pretty much do internet stuff with magic.
Dr. Prasad: Oh. I think I've heard of them, actually.
SCP-2726-A: yeah i thought so.
they say hi btw and they want me to tell you "ur a binch"
Dr. Prasad: I'm flattered.
Can I ask another question, incidentally?
SCP-2726-A: i literally don't know how to shut up like if you keep talking i'm pretty sure i have to keep responding.
so the answer is always yes to things like that but i'm just gonna lie if i don't feel like answering.
Dr. Prasad: How would I go about getting a ghost like you, if I needed one for something?
SCP-2726-A: what
Dr. Prasad: Is that such a surprising question, considering what it is you say I do?
SCP-2726-A: yeah i kind of assumed you already knew how to do that it's such a common thing.
Dr. Prasad: I'm afraid not.
SCP-2726-A: oh huh. well you pretty much just rent them for like a hundred and eighty euros a year and you can put them into pretty much anything if you know how but they won't really do anything without some information to imprint.
otherwise they'll just be like the most generic people possible and it's the most unnerving goddamn thing on the planet.
and once your time is up they just kinda go back to the netherworld and whatever they were in stops working. it's pretty great honestly like there's no hassle and it's all chill.
sometimes you get dead bodies though which is less chill.
Dr. Prasad: Hm. That explains a lot, actually.
Where could I rent a ghost? You left that part out.
SCP-2726-A: i'm not gonna lie dude.
if you could just borrow souls for whatever the hell you people wanted, i really don't want to know what you'd use them for.
i doubt it would be anything as nice as this.
so i'm not gonna tell you.
Dr. Prasad: Well, I had to try.
SCP-2726-A: yeah i know. *whap whap*
Dr. Prasad: Stop that.
Or continue, if you prefer. That's all the time I have for today. I'll see you tomorrow?
SCP-2726-A: this newspaper still has your name on it but i guess it can deal. see ya.

Footnotes
1. Information given by SCP-2726-A corresponds to Jadzia ████████████ of Kalisz, Poland (deceased as of 2016-05-14). However, there is no conclusive evidence that Jadzia ████████████ operated mashedpork.

« SCP-2725 | SCP-2726 | SCP-2727 »


Item #: SCP-2727
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Each entrance to SCP-2727-1 is to be closed off upon discovery, and the proceeding area searched for instances of SCP-2727-2. Instances of SCP-2727-2 are to be terminated on sight if found outside of the area containing instances of SCP-2727-1. Testing of SCP-2727 is to be approved by at least one Level 4 Personnel.
In incidents in which instances of SCP-2727-2 become hostile, each known entrance to SCP-2727 are to be guarded by at least three security agents until all hostile activity ceases.
Description: SCP-2727-1 refers to various models of subway trains, located inside several subway stations across the island of ██████, Greece. Instances of SCP-2727-1 have been found to have ██ station entrances throughout the island. The interior of the subway stations resembles those from the late 1950's. The boarding area for instances of SCP-2727-1 have been measured to go as far as ███ meters in length. The subway stations have been recorded to have support pillars every fifteen meters in any open direction.
SCP-2727-2 refers to humanoid individuals found inside SCP-2727-1 and the subway stations. Instances of SCP-2727-2 typically resemble Homo sapiens, but lack any facial features. Instances of SCP-2727-2 are typically docile. During times when an instance of SCP-2727-1 is present within the current subway station, large amounts of SCP-2727-2 will enter SCP-2727-1, while an equal amount of SCP-2727-2 will exit the instance of SCP-2727-1.
During explorations of SCP-2727-1, SCP-2727-1 have been recorded to move to other stations not on the island. Train stations explored by SCP-2727-1 have been shown to be vastly different, including architectural and anomalous changes. Changes include:

Station architecture matching that of Gothic work.
Several holes of various sizes along the walls, ceiling, and floors of the station.
Station being made entirely of Osteocytes (human bone).
Station walls, floors, and ceiling being made entirely of what appeared to be pig flesh.
Station containing no instances of SCP-2727-2. It was noted that no instances of SCP-2727-2 left SCP-2727-1 during this stop.

During explorations of SCP-2727-1, instances of SCP-2727-2 changed shapes and sizes, including:

Instances of SCP-2727-2 were reported to change into humanoid creatures similar to Sus scrofa domesticus (barn pigs). It was noted that instances of SCP-2727-2 become increasingly hostile during this time.
Instances of SCP-2727-2 were reported to become invisible inside SCP-2727-1, despite instances of SCP-2727-2 being visible outside of SCP-2727-1.
SCP-2727-2 instances were reported to be invisible. Clothing worn by SCP-2727-2 was not affected by the change.

Incident Report 2727-1: Instances of SCP-2727-2 became hostile, attacking security guards and attempting to exit the station. Hostile instances of SCP-2727-2 were terminated immediately. Approximately fifteen minutes later, an instance of SCP-2727-1 came into the station. Fifteen instances of SCP-2727-2 proceeded to carry deceased instances onto SCP-2727-1.

+ Exploration Log 2727-1

- Close Log 2727-1

D-203583 is a ██ year old Asian male of average build. D-203583 has no previous remarkable psychological background. D-203583 is equipped with a camera fitted with a transmission stream, and an audio headset. Dr. ███████ was observing the exploration and providing instructions for D-203583.
D-203583 is instructed to enter one of the stations. Seventeen instances of SCP-2727-2 are seen inside the station. No instances of SCP-2727-1 are visible.
D-203583: Nothing is here but those faceless things.
Dr. ███████: Please wait in the general area until the train arrives.
D-203583: Doc I don't think a train runs through here, there isn't even a map of the routes here.
Dr. ███████: Irrelevant.
D-203583 stayed within the station for approximately fifteen minutes before an instance of SCP-2727-1 appeared. Seventeen instances of SCP-2727-2 were recorded to leave SCP-2727-1, and sixteen instances were recorded to get on SCP-2727-1.
Dr. ███████: Please board the train.
D-203583: Alright doc, where is this thing going?
Dr. ███████: That information is irrelevant for your current task.
D-203583 proceeds to enter one of the passenger cabins of SCP-2727-1. Forty six instances of SCP-2727-2 are visible. None of the instances of SCP-2727-2 are recorded to be sitting down, despite proper seating being available.
D-203583: Do you want me to just stand here with these things?
Dr. ███████: You may sit until the next destination is reached.
D-203583: These things aren't moving doc, are they alive?
Dr. ███████: They have vital signs but are not sapient.
SCP-2727-1 was stationary for six minutes before moving. SCP-2727-1 continued moving along the path for fifteen minutes along an illuminated round tunnel. After fifteen minutes, all lights within SCP-2727-1 stopped functioning for approximately nineteen seconds. When lights became functional again, instances of SCP-2727-2 resembled humanoid members of the species Sus scrofa domesticus (barn pig). Instances of SCP-2727-2 had no facial features. D-203583 reportedly became panicked.
D-203583: [EXPLICIT]! What the [EXPLICIT] happened? They look like [EXPLICIT] pigs!
Dr. ███████: They do that sometimes.
D-203583: Sometimes?
Dr. ███████: As in, they don't always do it.
SCP-2727-1 came to a halt, and fifteen instances of SCP-2727-2 exited SCP-2727-1 along with D-203583. Sixteen instances of SCP-2727-2 were reported to enter SCP-2727-1. SCP-2727-1 was reported to leave two minutes after D-203583 exited the instance. The station appeared to be made entirely out of pig flesh. Support pillars appeared to be made out of bone. Twenty two instances of SCP-2727-2 were recorded to be in the station.
D-203583: Jesus Christ. [Pause] It smells like someone is cooking hotdogs.
Dr. ███████: Noted. Can you see an exit?
D-203583 began walking towards the far wall of the station. A slanted hole in the wall, leading to a brighter area, was recorded approximately nineteen meters ahead of D-203583.
D-203583: I think there is a hole outside, but no stairs.
Dr. ███████: Please approach the hole.
D-203583 proceeded to approach the hole. Three instances of SCP-2727-2 are recorded to follow D-203583.
D-203583: Doc? A few of these things are starting to follow me.
Dr. ███████: Noted. Please exit the station.
D-203583 exited the station. Audio shows that an instance of SCP-2727-1 was inside the station during this time. The outside of the station was covered completely in pig flesh. A green smog covered visibility and prevented sight beyond approximately sixteen meters. Approximately forty instances of SCP-2727-2 were outside of the station and within sight. No geographic features were recorded during this time. Six instances of SCP-2727-2 began moving towards D-203583.
D-203583: Doc, more of these things are coming towards me.
Dr. ███████: It has been noted. Please move the camera so we can-
D-203583: Doc, the ones inside the station are starting to run.
Video feed confirms that seven instances of SCP-2727-2 were running out of the station towards D-203583.
Dr. ███████: Confirmed. Please remain calm.
D-203583 does not reply as seven instances of SCP-2727-2 began bludgeoning him with their fists and heads. An additional three more instances of SCP-2727-2 approach D-203583 with large stones. D-203583 was heard cursing in Mandarin and begging for mercy during this time. The new instances of SCP-2727-2 proceed to bludgeon D-203583 to death.

+ Exploration Log 2727-2

- Close Log 2727-2

D-203584 is a ██ year old Caucasian male of average build. D-203584 has no previous remarkable psychological background. D-203584 is equipped with a camera fitted with a transmission stream, and an audio headset. Dr. ███████ was observing the exploration and providing instructions for D-203584.
D-203584 was instructed to enter one of the stations. Approximately six instances of SCP-2727-2 are inside the station. An instance of SCP-2727-1 is seen.
Dr. ███████: Please board the train.
D-203584: What about these.. faceless things?
Dr. ███████: They are not relevant, please board the train.
D-203584 boards the instance of SCP-2727-1 along with two instances of SCP-2727-2, it is estimated that three instances of SCP-2727-2 left the instance of SCP-2727-1. Approximately nine instances of SCP-2727-2 are present within the instance SCP-2727-1.
Dr. ███████: Please wait until the destination is reached.
D-203584: Where is this thing going?
Dr. ███████: That information is not necessary for your objective.
D-203584: Doc, there's a poster in this thing, I can't read it.
Dr. ███████: Confirmed. Please steady the camera on the poster.
D-203584 adjusts the camera to show the poster. The poster contains seven instances of SCP-2727-2, along with the russian words "Добрых мужчин" which roughly translates to 'the good men.'
Dr. ███████: Thank you. Please inspect the train car for items of similar nature.
D-203584 searches the train car for approximately nine minutes before finding what appeared to be a small journal and a brochure. Instances of SCP-2727-2 do not acknowledge D-203584 during this time. SCP-2727-1 begins moving at this time.
D-203584: Doc, I found this… journal.
Dr. ███████: How many pages are written in the journal?
D-203584 is heard flipping through the pages.
D-203584: About five. What do you want me to do with it?
Dr. ███████: Please hold each page in front of the camera long enough for stills to be taken of each.
D-203584 proceeds to do so. Refer to Document 2727-1 for journal entries. At this time the instance of SCP-2727-1 stopped. The doors to the train car open, and thirteen instances of SCP-2727-2 rush towards D-203584, instances are shown to be equipped with gas masks from the late 1920's and munitions used during the 1920's. D-203584 is dragged from the instance of SCP-2727-1 before video feed cuts off.

Document 2727-1

January 21, 19██
They took Bill's eyes today, sewed what was left shut. He's a businessman, why the [EXPLICIT] are they torturing him? He stopped screaming lately. I thought they removed his voice box until he asked me where god was. John stopped banging on the door after one of them opened it and hit him with the butt of its gun. Whatever these things are, they aren't human.
Bill is really calm considering what happened. Must be in denial. I feel sorry for the guy. He never told us how he got here. John was pulled from his platoon, and I was taking a piss when they got me. Damn Russians.
January 25, 19██
They took Bill again. Last time they took John's fingers. I felt bad for Bill, he's had the worst so far. We didn't hear much screaming. He came back and didn't talk. I left him alone until I heard him humming. He looked up with his sewed up eyes, and I almost vomited. They took his mouth.
February 3, 19██
Bill's been gone for about two days now. John's convinced they killed him. I don't think they are that merciful. I thought about killing Bill before they took him last time, just end the misery, but he didn't hear a word I said. He just sat there, bald, blind, and mute. I think they closed his ears.
February 9, 19██
Bill's back. They took the stitches out. Shaved his eyebrows too. They must have done a flesh graft, I can't see where his eyes or lips were anymore. He just sat against the wall next to the door. I can't figure out how he's breathing. John said he breaths through his ass now. It was just a joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. They gave him new clothes, just like his old ones, but not covered in his own blood. He looks like one of those mannequins in a store.
February, 19██
They took Bill again. About an hour later they took John and I out, blindfolded us and stuck us on a train. It's been moving for a while. Bill is standing way back, he hasn't moved in a while. John just sat down. He's had enough of this bullshit. So have I. I lost track of what day it was. I think it's February.
The doors opened, and things that looked like Bill got on. About five on them. John is freaking out, saying they turned Bill into one of those things.
Oh god.
They look like pigs.

« SCP-2726 | SCP-2727 | SCP-2728 »


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Chapter
Title

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Chapter 1
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Chapter 2
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Chapter 3
I Don't Get It, I Functioned Before

Chapter 4
You Can't Win Them All

Chapter 5
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Act II

Chapter 6
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Chapter 7
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Chapter 8
...And I'm the Star!

Chapter 9
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Chapter 10
Pepper's Lament

Chapter 11
Souls & Somas

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Act III

Chapter 13
And I Think To Myself...

Chapter 14
Everything Will Be Okay

Chapter 15
Holding an Umbrella but the Sun's Still Shining

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Chapter
Title

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Chapter 2
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Chapter 3
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Chapter 4
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Chapter 6
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Chapter 7
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Chapter 9
It Feels Like I Only Go Backwards

Chapter 10
Along for the Ride

Chapter 11
A Hole in the Tapestry

Chapter 12
XXXXX

Chapter 13
Industrial

Chapter 14
Dancing with Rachael

Chapter 15
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A World Unto Yourself

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Item #: SCP-2728
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The section of land from which SCP-2728 can be viewed is to be cordoned off, marked as private property, and designated Research Area 27281. Research Area 2728 must be disguised as civilian owned land. All security cameras should be hidden, and subjects who cross into Research Area 2728 must be detained. Detained subjects should be interrogated and given Class C amnestics before being released.
Description: SCP-2728 consists of a small area containing an office building in Barcelona, Spain. It can only be viewed from a specific viewpoint 25 km outside of city limits, now designated Research Area 2728. Any and all attempts to reach the office building have failed, with subjects instructed to the point of SCP-2728's existence instead viewing a street corner in a pedestrian neighborhood. While SCP-2728 is visible, the area around it also appears slightly modified to accommodate for its existence. For example, the buildings around it appear smaller and spaced in such a way to allow the office building's position.
SCP-2728 appears to be inhabited, with close viewing showing business hours between 8:00 to 18:00. SCP-2728 is inactive on Sundays, only occasionally being visited by a subject assumed to be the custodian. Extensive observation of SCP-2728 since 19██ has recorded over 14,000 individuals who appear to have interacted with SCP-2728. Where these subjects go when they are not within SCP-2728 is unknown.
Most subjects within SCP-2728, hereby designated SCP-2728-A, appear to have real world counterparts. The SCP-2728-A subject looks exactly like the real world subject, and shares the same name2. Similarity of personalities and other factors is hard to determine, due to the nature of SCP-2728. Most counterparts of SCP-2728-A live inside Barcelona, or nearby, but some live as far away as South Africa.
Addendum-2728-1: On September █, 20██, a test was conducted involving Agent LaFerrier. A research team, stationed at the SCP-2728 viewpoint, instructed Agent LaFerrier through a cellphone. LaFerrier was given directions to SCP-2728, and informed of its anomalous properties. The goal of the test was to confirm no changes in the behavior of SCP-27283. Agent LaFerrier reported no change in the behavior of SCP-2728, stating that he was "still looking at a street corner". However, the research team observed an identical copy of Agent LaFerrier, appearing awestruck, looking up at SCP-2728. Further observation showed the copy attempting to talk into a white cellphone identical to the one given to Agent LaFerrier, appearing confused and frustrated. Agent LaFerrier was instructed to return, and was subsequently detained. No other tests to date have yielded similar results.
The following is an interview with Agent LaFerrier upon his return to the research team. The following interview was conducted by Dr. Hillenburg following detainment. Agent LaFerrier was designated SCP-2728-1 following the incident.

Date: 9/█/██
Interviewer: Dr. Hillenburg
Interviewee: SCP-2728-1
<Begin Log>
Dr. Hillenburg: How are we doing today, LaFerrier?
SCP-2728-1: Ok, I guess. Still don't know what's going on, but I'm in for the ride.
Dr. Hillenburg: Please recall your experience while being directed to SCP-2728.
SCP-2728-1: Well, I followed directions. I don't know what else you want me to say. I took a left here, a right here, all by foot, landed at the site of SCP-2728, saw the street corner like usual, and was told to come back.
Dr. Hillenburg: Please elaborate on exactly what happened once you reached the site of SCP-2728.
SCP-2728-1: Well, after I saw the street corner, and reported I saw the street corner, there was a long pause from the research team's end. They didn't say anything for a while. But then, then they did, and I came back. What else do you want me to say?
Dr. Hillenburg: Absolutely anything you can say about the incident.
SCP-2728-1: What incident? I was not informed!
Dr. Hillenburg: Please remain calm, we don't do anything without reason.
SCP-2728-1: (Pauses) Fine, it's fine. Ok. There's one other thing. When I saw the street corner, I got a headrush. Y'know, vision goes fuzzy, hearing is muffled. You get them all the time when you stand up too fast or something. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Dr. Hillenburg: That is exactly what I wanted to hear. Thank you for your cooperation.
<End Log>

After the log, Agent LaFerrier was informed of the incident, and placed in a normal human containment cell. Agent LaFerrier resisted, but ultimately allowed himself to be contained.
EDIT: After a week, Agent LaFerrier has been let out of containment, and has taken back his previous position. It is still largely unknown if Agent LaFerrier is anomalous. Agent LaFerrier continues to be heavily monitored.
Addendum-2728-2: On April ██, 20██, a bright flashing light shone through the windows of SCP-2728 at 21:00. After initial observation, it was shortly discovered to be Morse code. The following is a transcription of the Morse code, beginning shortly after the light started flashing.

<Begin Log>
[…] ND I DONT KNOW IF YOU ARE THERE [pause] I CHECKED THE HILL AND THERE WAS NO FENCE AND NO RESEARCH TEAM I AM BEGINNING TO THINK YOU HAVE LEFT ME [pause] OR THAT I HAVE ENTERED ANOTHER PLACE [pause] POINT IS I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON AND YOU NEED TO GET ME OUT OF HERE [pause] I DONT GET IT [pause] EVERYTHING HERE IS NORMAL I CANT FIND ANY ANOMALIES OR FOUNDATION ITS LIKE YOU DONT EXIST [pause] YOU DIDNT TELL ME THIS COULD HAPPEN YOU FUCKS I NOW HAVE A FUCKING OFFICE JOB IN THIS STUPID BUILDING BECAUSE OF YOU [pause] AND YELLING AT PEOPLE IN MORSE CODE IS NOT AS CATHARTIC AS YOUD EXPECT [pause] ITS LIKE THERES NOTHING HERE [pause] ITS TOO NORMAL IM [pause] SCARED [pause] YOU DIDNT TELL ME [long pause] FUCK OFF
<End Log>

An SCP-2728-A individual, identical to Agent LaFerrier, has been seen working in SCP-2728 since the incident. It is assumed this SCP-2728-A individual is the same seen during the LaFerrier test, and the one that sent Morse code.
Addendum-2728-3: On May ██, 20██, a bright flashing light shone through the windows of SCP-2728 at 21:00, similar to the previous event. Staff already at the viewpoint were able to catch the message in its entirety. The following is a transcription.

NOBODY HERE [pause] THEY ALL WORK AND DO NOTHING [pause] I FEEL THIS ISNT EVEN BARCELONA [pause] NOT EVEN A COPY [pause] NO ONE HERE KNOWS [pause] ITS LIKE THEYRE INSECTS [pause] SKY IS NEVER BLUE [pause] NEVER [pause] BLACK [long pause] THERES NOTHING OUTSIDE CITY LIMITS

Footnotes
1. Roughly 5 square kilometers in an ovoid shape. Details can be found on a map of Research Area 2728.
2. Names gathered from observation of name tags and desk plaques, among other things. All objects have been viewed via high definition cameras, binoculars, and similar equipment.
3. These regular tests are performed every 4 months.

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« SCP-2727 | SCP-2728 | SCP-2729 »


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Independent SCPs

SCP
Title

SCP-445-EX
The Word of the Day is Hope

SCP-2728
On the Barcelona Skyline

SCP-2729
What is it Good For?

SCP-3018
France & the Tale of the Well-Intentioned Understudies

SCP-3465
Better Safe Than Sorry

SCP-3466
Only Birdbrains Live the American Dream

SCP-4006
#MassaTruthetts

SCP-4455
In Short…

SCP-4465
No Man is an Island

SCP-4466
Why the Long Face?

SCP-4467
Oh, I Get It Now

Co-Authored SCPs

SCP
Title
Co-Author

SCP-1549
In Absence of a Perfect Medium
Billith

SCP-2983
Choco-Wonder Explosion Marshmallow Bites!™ by Dr. Wondertainment
Uncle Nicolini

SCP-3379
D-11424 & the Arctic Meat Hole of Infinite Wonders
Weryllium

SCP-3482
Nature Versus Naturalization
Roget

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I'm Right Behind Me
Captain Kirby

SCP-3713
All the World's a Stage
Varaxous

SCP-4029
Too Many Legs to be Going Nowhere
MaliceAforethought

Vend-a-Friend

Chapter
Title

Act I

Chapter 1
We Just Make Toys

Chapter 2
To Think I've Spent My Whole Life Waiting

Chapter 3
I Don't Get It, I Functioned Before

Chapter 4
You Can't Win Them All

Chapter 5
Be Strange or Be Forgotten

Act II

Chapter 6
Sometimes the Best Intentions are in Need of Redemption

Chapter 7
Life's a Show

Chapter 8
...And I'm the Star!

Chapter 9
Back in Habit

Chapter 10
Pepper's Lament

Chapter 11
Souls & Somas

Chapter 12
Deceptive Cadence

Act III

Chapter 13
And I Think To Myself...

Chapter 14
Everything Will Be Okay

Chapter 15
Holding an Umbrella but the Sun's Still Shining

Ascension

Chapter
Title

Chapter 1
Sometimes I Wish This Moment Could Last Forever

Chapter 2
Waiting on the Good Times

Chapter 3
Forever Young

Chapter 4
We Didn't Do This For Nothing

Chapter 5
URA-1902 aka The Missing Link

Chapter 6
The Consequences of a Deep, Dark Disassociation

Chapter 7
The Call to Action (for a Modern Audience)

Chapter 8
The Elusive Mx. LaFerrier

Chapter 9
It Feels Like I Only Go Backwards

Chapter 10
Along for the Ride

Chapter 11
A Hole in the Tapestry

Chapter 12
XXXXX

Chapter 13
Industrial

Chapter 14
Dancing with Rachael

Chapter 15
Ascension

Epilogue
A World Unto Yourself

Collaboration Contest Entries w/ Ellie

Make America Normaler

Off the Hook

Misc. Tales

Cornelius the Collector

Curtain Call

The Really Really Real Adventures in Capitalism

I've Been Through the Desert on a Horse with No Name

On the Radar for the miniseries The Ursus Maritimus Incident

Group of Interest / Canon Hubs

Hub
Notes

Dr. Wondertainment Hub
Made w/ taylor_itkin does not match any existing user name

What a Wonderful World Hub
Made w/ help from Uncle Nicolini, a canon sprouted from Vend-a-Friend!

Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Hub
My pride and joy, my very own Group of Interest

Item #: SCP-2729
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2729 is described to the public as a rare and unusual side effect of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Foundation fronts (namely Sherman Charleston's Psychological Institute) will claim to be researching the condition, and publish faux articles describing said research at random intervals, preferably not more than once a year. Sherman Charleston's Psychological Institute (or SCPI) will work with the US Department of Health and Human Services to document all cases of individuals affected by SCP-2729, and encourage those affected to seek aid from SCPI. Individuals who do not come to SCPI should be covertly surveyed for any unusual behavior, or for suspicion of anomalous means.

The flag flown by SCP-2729-A, as sketched by Patient-12.

The flag flown by SCP-2729-B, as sketched by Patient-12.

The flag flown by SCP-2729-C, as sketched by Patient-12.

Description: SCP-2729 is a phenomenon that may1 affect any individual that has been exposed to combat situations in person for at least a one-week period throughout their lifetime, and has traveled the Pacific Ocean by boat. Individuals with combat training may also be affected if they maintain regular contact with a subject affected by the primary vector. Affected individuals will claim to see transparent monochrome soldiers, officials, and military equipment with varying levels of clarity based on combat experience2. Reports of how the instances act and how the equipment is used is consistent between subjects. All objects seen this way are transparent, intangible, and silent.
Objects and subjects seem to correspond to three different warring nations, and are seen in and around the Pacific Ocean. The theater of war extends as far east as the Californian coasts, and as far west as China. Supplies (food, guns, vehicles, soldiers, etc.) appear to come from within buildings that are unable to be entered, due to the intangible nature of SCP-27293. Each warring nation, and their people, is designated SCP-2729-A, -B, and -C. SCP-2729-A is based in the city of Khabarovsk, Russia; SCP-2729-B is based in the city of Prince Rupert, Canada; SCP-2729-C is based in the city of Hilo, Hawaii.
SCP-2729-A soldiers wear uniforms adorned with symbols of various stylized suns. SCP-2729-B soldiers wear uniforms adorned with symbols of various stylized stars. SCP-2729-C soldiers wear uniforms adorned with symbols of various stylized moons.
Soldiers and officials of all nations exhibit inhuman behaviors including a lack of facial expression, unfocused eyes, lack of speech4, an atypical reaction to pain, and the inability to biologically die. If a soldier sustains damage that would kill a human being, they will fall limp indefinitely. However, blood loss does not seem to affect their normal bodily functions. After falling, their eyes can still move, they will continue to breathe unless damage was done to the lungs, and they will never decompose. If a body is retrievable, field medics from the corresponding nation will often find and remove remains. Where these remains are taken and what is done with them is currently unknown5.
Addendum | Temporary Neutralization
On 3/13/1989, starting at 11:48 Pacific Standard Time (around the time of a massive geomagnetic storm), SCP-2729 became inactive. Agent LaFerrier, who was viewing a military base controlled by SCP-2729-A 3 km outside of Bend, Oregon along with the affected D-237238, reported that the anomaly had "disappeared". LaFerrier elaborated and confirmed with D-237238 that all soldiers, officials, and buildings had suddenly ceased to exist. At 1:36, the accompanying research team reported that Agent LaFerrier and D-237238 had both held their heads, vocalized intense pain, and fainted simultaneously. Agent LaFerrier and D-237238 both regained consciousness within three hours, and further research of the anomaly has discovered that the anomaly has since "restarted"; each nation was found to have only a headquarters6 and a single military base within 5 km of that location.
Sherman Charleston's Psychological Institute discovered within the year that all living subjects on record had experienced similar occurrences, reporting that they had suffered a "horrible headache and then fainted early in the afternoon on the thirteenth"7.

EDIT 8/31/████: Since this initial reset, several more similar events have occurred. Following is a list of such occurrences, as of the time of writing:
8/██/1989: Temporary disappearance, but status of the war was not reset. Affected individuals experienced headaches.
7/█/2000: Full reset.
10/██/2003: Full reset.
1/██/2005: Temporary disappearance.8
1/█/2007: Full reset.
11/██/2010: Temporary disappearance.
10/█/2012: Temporary disappearance.
5/██/2014: Full reset.
4/█/2015: Full reset.
9/██/2016: Temporary disappearance.
3/██/2017: Full reset.
8/█/2017: Temporary disappearance.

Addendum | Highly Unusual Behavior
On 8/25/2017, Agent LaFerrier, affected by SCP-2729 and reporting to a research team, was viewing a battle between SCP-2729-B and SCP-2729-C in the streets of San Diego. Several SCP-2729-B soldiers were using a Pizzeria Luigi on El Cajon Blvd. as a shelter. One such soldier had a pencil and paper, and was apparently writing a letter. Agent LaFerrier recorded the letter as best she could.

Dear Dear,
I'm on the front lines. Love you. I'm shooting. Love you. Miss you. .;@3d died yesterday. Sad. I'm sad. Sweetie! Saw him die. I'm sad. Miss you. How're the kids? They're great. I love them. I love you. I miss you. Sweetie! .;@3d was a good soldier. He killed. He died. I love my kids. Jeff and Bill. And Bill. Bill was always a good soldier. Bill died yesterday. I'm sad. I shot him. He died. Miss you.
Yours, Jeff

During the writing, the other soldiers had gathered behind the writing soldier. The instance stood up without facing the other soldiers, and began to cry9. All others drew rifles and opened fire on the writing soldier. The remains were then thrown into the street where SCP-2729-C soldiers also shot into the body. A soldier in the pizzeria crumpled and ate the letter. Such an occurrence has never been seen since.
Addendum | SCP-2729-A Victory
Following several successful war campaigns on the part of SCP-2729-A against SCP-2729-B, an army of -A made it to the headquarters of SCP-2729-B and successfully "killed" all soldiers and officials, adopting their HQ as a secondary base of operations. Two months later, on 10/10/2017, Agent LaFerrier and D-309918 viewed a battle between SCP-2729-A and SCP-2729-C in Hilo, Hawaii (SCP-2729-C's base of operations). After heavy casualties on both sides, SCP-2729-A soldiers finally overtook the headquarters proceeding three days of battle. Once inside the HQ, they were able to extract an SCP-2729-C official (assumed to be the leader of SCP-2729-C) out of the building and publicly execute him on 10/13/2017, 7:12. Afterwards, SCP-2729-A soldiers stood still for two hours, rocking slightly back and forth.
At 9:32, on 10/13/2017, -A instances began to look at their surroundings, some with confused expressions. Another 15 minutes passed before Agent LaFerrier reported seeing some instances "moseying about" and looking at the remains of dead and wounded soldiers. D-309918 reported seeing some groups of soldiers that appeared to freeze mid-motion, and unfreeze at random intervals. After another 30 minutes, the instances that executed the rival leader of SCP-2729-C knelt down and turned the body over. At this same time, soldiers were seen cradling dead SCP-2729-A and -C instances in their arms. A select amount of soldiers were also seen rapidly changing position and repeating actions. In another 5 minutes, the soldier who executed the leader of SCP-2729-C began to cry, which prompted most other soldiers to begin doing the same. The few soldiers that this did not affect began to draw weapons and open fire on the crying soldiers, who put up little to no resistance.
At this moment, SCP-2729 reset.

Footnotes
1. Calculated to be a <0.005% chance, or about 1 in 20000. This data was collected from a survey led by Sherman Charleston's Psychological Institute, which found 23 affected war veterans in the US, and an additional 4 miscellaneous affected individuals.
2. Apparitions become clearer the more combat an individual has experienced.
3. Attempting to step into these buildings will make the building disappear until the subject has stepped out of the building's area.
4. If instances communicate at all, it is suggested that they do so telepathically.
5. Trenches and bunkers are visible but unable to be entered, so these remains are at some point untraceable.
6. All found in their previous locations, see paragraph 2 of the description.
7. Patient-08, Eli W███████
8. Up until this point, resets were thought to be connected to solar storms, but all events past this point seem to occur independent of solar activity. Research ongoing.
9. The only reported instance of this happening, as of the time of writing.

« SCP-2728 | SCP-2729 | SCP-2730 »


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Item #: SCP-2730
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2730 is contained in a standard humanoid containment cell in Site-42. The Gilbert Gottfried in the public eye is a biological facsimile that must be monitored by a covert detail at all times.
The mask made of Gilbert Gottfried's skin is currently in cold-storage in the Site-42 biotechnology laboratory. Skin cultures from the mask are to be harvested and used to generate biological facsimiles of Gilbert Gottfried via the Lilith Protocol. When the current active facsimile of Gottfried begins to degrade, it is to be discretely terminated and replaced by a new facsimile. If the current facsimile dies before degrading (such as by a heart attack or car crash) no further external protocols are required.
Description: SCP-2730 is a mallard-like humanoid that humans perceive to be the American actor and comedian Gilbert Gottfried. This perceptive effect extends to the naked eye and ordinary camera viewing. Sonar, infrared, and thaumaturgic viewing indicates that SCP-2730's true form is that of a human-sized mallard. It has webbed feet and abnormally long, cylindrical wings, with tumor-like protuberances for hands. SCP-2730's head is mostly similar to that of a normal wild duck's, although the beak has been severely deformed and forced against the craniofacial area to simulate a nose and mouth. DNA samples taken from SCP-2730 indicate that it is a member of the mallard species (Anas platyrhynchos).
SCP-2730 was initially discovered in 2005, during filming of the documentary The Aristocrats. The actor ██████ ███ was being investigated for anomalous properties; however, sonar and infrared analysis inadvertently revealed SCP-2730's anomalous status instead. SCP-2730 was quickly taken into custody and replaced with a biological facsimile1.
It is unclear how long SCP-2730 was imitating Gilbert Gottfried; at the time of capture, it was found to be wearing a face mask made of skin, designated as SCP-2730-1, that enabled SCP-2730 to resemble Gilbert Gottfried. Analysis of SCP-2730-1 indicates that it is genetically identical to the real Gilbert Gottfried2 and was at least ten years old in 2005.
Addendum:

+ Interview 2730-01

- Hide

This interview was taped using both a regular and an infrared security camera.
Date: July 16, ████
Interviewer: Dr. Rothfuss
[BEGIN LOG]
Rothfuss: Good morning. I am Doctor Rothfuss. If you cooperate with me, I can shorten your stay here and make sure your time spent here is as comfortable as possible.Rothfuss: Why were you pretending to be Gilbert Gottfried?Rothfuss opens a laptop on the table and turns it towards SCP-2730. It contains real-time footage from the infrared camera in the interview room. SCP-2730's true appearance is clearly visible.
Rothfuss: You are a duck pretending to be Gilbert Gottfried.
SCP-2730 is silent.

Rothfuss: Please cooperate. I want to help.Rothfuss: If you tell me the truth, then I can let you go. How are you able to make yourself look like Gilbert Gottfried?Rothfuss: There is no point in lying to me. I'll keep going. Why are you pretending to be Gilbert Gottfried?
SCP-2730 is silent.
Rothfuss: Why are you pretending to be Gilbert Gottfried? Where is the real Gilbert Gottfried?
SCP-2730 is silent.
Rothfuss: Where is the real Gilbert Gottfried?Rothfuss: Excuse me?
At this moment, the camera feed is disrupted for two seconds. When the feed resumes, the infrared feed shows SCP-2730 as Gilbert Gottfried, while Rothfuss appears to be an instance of SCP-2730. SCP-2730 turns the laptop back towards Rothfuss so he can see the feed.
Rothfuss: How did you do that?Rothfuss: Please don't try to trick me. How did you do that?Rothfuss: I'm not a duck. My name is… is Edward Rothfuss.Rothfuss: Have you done something to me?Rothfuss: I'm the real Edward Rothfuss! Security, please be advised… I think I have been compromised.Rothfuss: Nothing! I am Edward Rothfuss!Rothfuss: Because I am Edward Rothfuss!Dr. Rothfuss puts his hands to his face and is able to peel the skin of his face away. As the skin peels away, Rothfuss is revealed to be an instance of SCP-2730 on the non-infrared feed as well. At that moment, the on-duty security team enters the room and terminates the interview.

Addendum:
Following the events of Interview 2730-01, Dr. Rothfuss was designated as an instance of SCP-2730. Due to his positive history with the Foundation, Rothfuss has been allowed to keep his instance of SCP-2730-1 and remain in Foundation employ as a Class-E personnel with Level 2 clearance3.

Footnotes
1. This procedure, while unorthodox, was adopted for the purposes of testing in-development biomedical and surveillance technologies in a real-world setting.
2. DNA testing was accomplished with a sample of Gottfried's semen acquired in 1985 (the last known point when he was confirmed to be alive).
3. In accordance with standard Humanoid Containment Protocols, Rothfuss has been implanted with a subdermal GPS tracking chip.

« SCP-2729 | SCP-2730 | SCP-2731 »


Item #: SCP-2731
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The floor containing SCP-2731 is to be covered at all times in a cast-iron platform that conceals and protects SCP-2731. The platform is to be coated in nonslip padding and fitted with a bolted trap door that can be unbolted and opened to reveal the second layer, a cavity containing SCP-2731 and protected by a secondary door only accessible with Level 2 or above object clearance.
The shaft inside SCP-2731 is to be capped with a padded iron insert that can be removed from above. Do not dig into, drill into, or otherwise damage the SCP-2731 shaft from within.
Description: SCP-2731 is an aperture built into the floor of a stock room of [REDACTED], a grocery store in Asheville, North Carolina. The aperture is concealed by a square iron door which is 2cm thick, .7m wide, and designed to be flush with the surrounding floor. The floor in the room containing SCP-2731 slopes down toward the aperture in all directions, possibly to allow for drainage.
SCP-2731 connects to a shaft which extends downward for approximately 40 meters before opening into an extensive artificial cavern system [see Exploration Log 2731-1-1999]. As all imaging and exploratory measures taken have been unable to locate the cavern system, it is believed to be extradimensional.
A plaque is affixed to the underside of SCP-2731 which reads as follows.

THIS PORTAL INSTALLED SEPTEMBER 1951
UNDER CONTRACT FOR
RICHARD AND SONS GATEWAY SERVICE

According to interviews with owners and employees of the business, SCP-2731 was inactive or inaccessible until August 10th, 1998, when it was altered by members of Richard and Sons, the same organization which originally placed it. [See the Groups of Interest file appropriate for your clearance level.] The Foundation has attempted to contact Richard and Sons via the telephone number provided on the business card provided to the attending cashier, but received an automated report stating that the number is out of service.
Closed-circuit surveillance records of Richard and Sons' time inside the premises housing SCP-2731 have been obtained and cataloged. A transcript follows.

Incident recording begins, time 3:20
[Two Richard and Sons agents, designated here as Operative A and Operative B, enter the building and approach a cashier.]
Operative A: Ma'am, could you please direct us to your storeroom?
Cashier: Excuse me?
Operative A: We received a call about a stuck Avernus cover in your premises. We're here to repair it. Here's our card. [Operative B produces a business card from his shirt pocket and hands it to the cashier.] Those are the new ones with the right number, aren't they?
Operative B: I'm pretty sure.
Cashier: I'm going to have to talk to the manager.
Operative B: That's great.
Operative A: That's fine. We'll be right here. [The cashier walks to her station.] What was that?
Operative B: The… I was just trying to be friendly.
Operative A: I can handle it. [The store manager approaches.]
Manager: What's this about?
Operative A: We're here to repair a stuck Avernus cover, sir. Did you get… here, have a card. [Operative produces a business card and gives it to the manager.]
Manager: Alright, so you're repairmen here to fix a furnace cover?
Operative A: Avernus cover. You can't leave it stuck, could cause all kinds of problems.
Operative B: It can be a health code violation.
Operative A: He's actually right.
Manager: How long is this going to take?
Operative A: Ten, fifteen minutes tops to make sure everything's working. We'll be in and out.
Manager: Well, alright. I can take you to our heating controls.
Operative A: No thanks, sir, we can find it from here. [The two operatives walk toward the storeroom.]
Operative B: Oh, I just remembered. I got a call from someone looking for some major installation work.
Operative A: What's the site?
Operative B: I think it's a Satanists club or something out in Hendersonville.
Operative A: Jesse? [Operative A stops at the door to the storeroom.] I gotta ask you a question. Do you remember what it says on our van? [Operative A points with his thumb toward the parking lot.]
Operative B: Uh. "Richard And Sons, serving Greater Asheville for generations, we give you a hell of a deal."
Operative A: Greater Asheville. Do you know what that means?
Operative B: I guess it starts at the library—
Operative A: It means greater got-dang Asheville. We're a local business. Family-run. We provide a niche service to a very specific area. Are you going to pay your own goddamn gas money and van maintenance to head out into the fucking sticks to open a demonhole at some redneck's cabin?
Operative B: N-no, sir.
Operative A: You worked at Domino's before this, you should know this shit. [The operatives enter the stockroom.] Open that toolbox and get the gauge. [Operative B hands Operative A an electronic device. Operative A activates it.]
[Remaining surveillance footage unusable due to radio interference.]
Incident recording ends, time 3:27

Exploration Log 2731-1-1999: As interference within SCP-2731 makes the use of unmanned reconnaissance devices and video surveillance unfeasible, an agent was sent into the SCP-2731 shaft with an analog audio recording device. Transcript follows.

Coming down. These walls look and feel like sandstone. I bumped into it a few seconds ago, and it scraped like hell.
I'm in an antechamber now. The floor is covered in liquid up to my toes. Something pinkish and viscous. [Squishing sounds are audible.] Hear that? That's my boots.
Massive door in front of me. Inscription reads "Dulcis casus ad inferna". If I'm remembering my Latin 102, that's "the descent to hell is sweet". [A creaking sound is audible.]
Christ. Cold air just smacked me in the face, but I think the smell is worse. Proceeding through.
That smell's not going away. It's sickly-sweet and chemical. Like… sticking your head in a freezer that's been broken for a week. I'm in a long, narrow hallway, and the walls are lined with rows of tiny metal prongs. Melon baller things. There's sticky residue on those, too.
Shit, I glanced back and saw something cross through the walkway at the end. I think I'll go left and avoid it. I see a plaque over the entryway. It says "Destructores dentium". "Destroying teeth"? All capital letters.
Okay. This is… this is massive. The hall circles around a column here, and I can see rooms with four-meter ceilings, at least. There's vats of… something down there, and creatures milling around them. If I can get a good look without being noticed…
The workers here are stout little bastards, maybe one and a half meters tall. Wedge-shaped, white, lumpy. No necks. Their little white heads have these red and blue pustules and… I think those are horns. I can see their breath. Some are operating machinery, some are just watching and laughing. A lot of them are holding pole-arms with concave hollows on the end. Giant spoons.
There are chutes running down from the ceiling over the vats, and every so often a worker pulls a lever that releases something into them. I'm seeing… is that broken glass? That one has syringes. Something covered in mold… and teeth. And then they stir the vats with their paddles and go again.
There's an opening in the central column here, and a spiral stairway inside. The pathway's clear, so I'm heading down.
It's warming up as I go. I can feel my fingers again. I'm at the next floor down, and it's probably thirty-five, forty degrees in this room. Plaque over the entryway says "Purgamenta crassificantia". "Fattening garbage"? Hope I'm pronouncing these right.
The structure's the same, but the workers are a little taller and ganglier here. About my height. Still paying no attention to me. I guess I'm being pretty quiet, I can't hear myself over that grinding metal. I think everything is here is made of rusty iron.
I think whatever they're working with might be temperature-dependent. A worker cranks a scoop that tears out lumps of it into the vat and into something tan… is that batter? and then flips it again into a basin of hot oil. Across from it, another worker has massive lumps of the stuff dropped onto a sizzling flat stone. Liquid runoff flows through channels into a basin. By the vapor tumbling out, I'd guess it's full of liquid nitrogen. And then a tray is pulled out, and the runoff has been flash-frozen into tiny balls, and they get dumped out into a heap of a hundred thousand frozen balls.
They look like that stuff I got at theme parks when I was a kid. Flash-frozen, what the fuck was it called… the ice cream dots.
Mother of fuck, it's ice cream. It's all ice cream.
I need to take a break here. I feel like I've been in here for four hours [[Actual expedition time at this point: 97 minutes.]], this room's the size of an airplane hangar, and the air is really thick.
You know, I can sort of understand this. I was a fat kid, I have food issues. But this…
Alright. I'm going down again.
Latin is "Tumidae saccharis". "Too much sugar". Hotter in here. Gotta be fifty degrees. Ice cream demons half-again as tall as me spooning ice cream along from room to room. I see a child. They give it a cone, and it stands there, staring blankly without moving, until its hand quivers and the scoop falls off into sand. This happens twenty or thirty times until the sand-cream slurry is raked away into a pit and replaced with clean sand. They didn't even move the kid off, he's replaced too. I just hope that's some kind of mannequin.
Now that I know what it is I can pick out flavors from their scents. Hundreds of pounds of cherry getting churned, boiled, refrozen… Vanilla floating in punch bowls in mock parties while all the guests mindlessly walk around and ignore it. Each one a little more dissolved. Something just called out, and the people are mumbling… "lactose intolerant"?
Mint chip, blackberry, rocky road… all these flavors are sluicing down in front of a line of people that runs out into a door. The one in front keeps acting like he's going to point to one, but he never does. Would they care if I threw up in here? Because — [unintelligible rumbling] What the fuck? I just heard one of the big ones speak English.
It said "this scoop must suffer".
I think… I think I understand. I understand the evil they see.
I'm going to take a closer look at this vat, it's unattended… and a giant fleshy tentacle is hanging from the ceiling. No, it's too wide and flat… this is more like a tongue. And it's just hanging there. Do the… the ice creamons get that big?
Now it's licking the sides. Not touching the ice cream, just the metal. I don't know if the sound is picking up over the mechanisms, but the scraping…
I think I can hold my lunch down long enough to take a sample. I don't have a… a tiny spoon, but if I'm fast, I can just scoop some with my hand into the jar, and I don't think they'll notice shit shit shit—
[Recording ends.]

The agent resurfaced six hours following entry, lacking his sample jar and gloves, and claiming to have blacked out as his stomach was being pumped. The agent was treated for frostbite, but no permanent physical damage occurred. The agent is currently in therapy to overcome persistent intrusive thoughts regarding "the sins of ice cream" which affect his eating habits.

« SCP-2730 | SCP-2731 | SCP-2732 »


Item #: SCP-2732
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2732 is to be kept at Storage Site-██ in a standard large object containment chamber. SCP-2732-1 is to be stored separately in a security safe with controlled heat and humidity, due to its delicate nature. SCP-2732-2-D instances are to be kept in a cold storage chamber.
Description: SCP-2732 is a wooden Beijing Opera stage, constructed within the last century. SCP-2732 lacks a backstage area or stairs. SCP-2732-1 is a Ming Dynasty Era booklet containing seven entries, all different accounts of the same event.
When a human subject reads out a whole entry directly from SCP-2732-1 while standing within a 60-meter radius of SCP-2732, SCP-2732-2 instances, along with stage props required, will manifest on the stage. SCP-2732-2 instances are autonomous, mostly wooden mannequins with no facial features wearing Beijing Opera costumes and facial makeup. SCP-2732-2 instances will engage in a performance1 that seems to correspond to the entry read, accompanied by music with no apparent source. See Addendum for specifics and exceptions.
When a human being enters SCP-2732, the performance will halt, with SCP-2732-2 instances ceasing all motions. SCP-2732-2 instances and stage props removed at this time will behave like ordinary objects. The performance will resume after all objects taken from SCP-2732 are returned and all human subjects have left the stage. After the performance, SCP-2732-2 instances and stage props will disappear, except for the instance generated by Entry 7. See Addendum for more information.
Addendum: The following is the content of SCP-2732-1, and the specifics of SCP-2732-2's performance corresponding to each entry.

Entry 1
Entry 2
Entry 3
Entry 4
Entry 5
Entry 6
Entry 7

阿伽之王，缢而死。
The king of Ajia was hanged dead.

Performance Log: SCP-2732-2-A first appears in this entry. The instance wears costume of a Chinese emperor and no facial makeup.

<Begin Log>
[A low drumming sound plays.]
SCP-2732-2-A appears hanged from the ceiling with white silk2.
The instance twitches for 15 minutes.
<End Log>

古有阿伽之国，其王缢而不死，其民皆具假面。
Back then, in the Kingdom of Ajia, the king of the land was hanged but didn't die; the people there all wore masks.

Performance Log:

<Begin Log>
[An erhu3 melody plays.]
SCP-2732-2-A walks from right side to the middle, hangs itself with white silk, and starts twitching.
15 SCP-2732-2 instances appear on the stage, each holding a white wooden mask in front of their face.4
Instances begin to surround SCP-2732-2-A until a circle is formed.
[A loud gong strike is heard.]
<End Log>

有阿伽之国，其王缢而不死。虺民惧之，焚其城。覆假面以葬。
In the Kingdom of Ajia, the king was hanged but didn't die. The serpent people feared him, and burnt his city. They put a mask on him before burying him.

Performance Log:

<Begin Log>
[An erhu melody plays.]
SCP-2732-2-A walks from right side to the middle, hangs itself with white silk, and starts twitching.
3 SCP-2732-2 instances appear on the right, one of them holding a white wooden mask. Instances' legs are replaced with wooden snake tails, capable of moving but incapable of supporting bodies.
Instances crawl to the middle and then slump to the floor.
[A gong strike is heard, and the erhu melody intensifies.]
All instances, including SCP-2732-2-A, burst into flames. SCP-2732 itself doesn't catch fire.
After approximately 10 minutes, the flames die out, and the remains disappear.
<End Log>

阿迦之国有王缢于中庭。举国庆之，曝尸于野。次日，王使至。不生七窍，狰狰而笑。其民大惊，以为神怪，以血祭之。
In the Kingdom of Ajia, there was a king who hanged himself in the middle of the court. The whole country celebrated this, and exposed his body in the wild. The next day, the king's emissary came. It had no face, but laughed menacingly. The people were greatly shocked, and regarded it as the likes of gods and monsters. They then offered blood sacrifice to the being.

Performance Log: SCP-2732-2-B first appears in this entry. The instance wears no costume, with its entirety painted in black.

<Begin Log>
[An erhu melody plays.]
SCP-2732-2-A walks from right side to the middle, hangs itself with white silk, and starts twitching.
[A joyous chorus starts.]
15 SCP-2732-2 instances appear on the right.
SCP-2732-2 instances walk to the middle and start tearing at SCP-2732-2-A, until the instance falls onto the floor.
The instances disregard SCP-2732-2-A and turn to the left.
[The chorus stops, and a scratching sound is heard.]
SCP-2732-2-B enters from the left.
All other instances walk towards SCP-2732-2-B and kneel down. This lasts for 5 minutes.
<End Log>

是日，阿伽之国困王于庭，问计于从者。侍曰：“当以死拒。” 遂备白绫。王曰：“必索魂。” 缢于庭，从者亦死。举国庆之。
次日，王使至。不生七窍，试之，不类人。问之，狰狰而笑，答曰：“当以血祭。” 群臣乃悟，曰：“必献于王。” 其民皆曰：“尽献于王。”
That day, the Kingdom of Ajia trapped their king in his court. The king asked his servant for a plan. The servant said: "We must fight to the death." Hence white silk was prepared. The king said: "I will take their souls." He hanged himself in the court, and the servant died as well. The whole country celebrated.
The next day, the king's emissary came. It had no face, and after engaging, the people deemed that it was not human. They questioned the being, it laughed menacingly, and answered: "You should offer blood sacrifice." The ministers then understood, and said: "We will sacrifice to the king." Its people all said: "All the blood to the king."

Performance Log: SCP-2732-2-C first appears in this entry. The instance wears the costume and facial makeup of the chou5 in Beijing Opera.

<Begin Log>
SCP-2732-2-A and -C enters from the right.
[An erhu melody plays, with a noticeably higher pitch than that of other entries.]
SCP-2732-2-C presents a piece of white silk to SCP-2732-2-A.
SCP-2732-2-A takes the white silk, hangs itself, and starts twitching.
As SCP-2732-2-A is hanged, SCP-2732-2-C slumps to the floor.
[The melody stops, and a scratching sound is heard.]
SCP-2732-2-B enters from the left while 15 other SCP-2732-2 instances enter from the right.
The 15 instances walk towards SCP-2732-2-B and kneel down. This lasts for 5 minutes.
<End Log>

是日，阿伽之国困王于野，问计从者。从者曰：“当请神。”须臾，大龙至。龙者，母神也。曰：“死之，后复返。” 龙下六兽曰：“当以诸血为祭。” 遂以从者为祭。龙曰：“善。” 缢以白绫。举国庆之。
次日，神使至，是六兽之一。浑敦无面目，背有六翼。问之，狰狰而笑，答曰：“当以血祭。” 群臣乃悟，曰：“必献于王、诸兽、大龙。” 其民皆曰：“尽献于王。”
That day, the Kingdom of Ajia trapped their king in the wild. The king asked his servant for a plan. The servant said: "We should summon the gods." A moment later, the Dragon came. The Dragon is the mother god. She said: "One must die first so that he can return." The Six Beasts that served under the Dragon said: "You should sacrifice with all blood." The king hence used the servant as a sacrifice. The Dragon said: "Good." The king then hanged himself with white silk. The whole country celebrated.
The next day, the god's emissary came. It was one of the Six Beasts. The emissary was round, had no face, and bore six wings on its back. They questioned the being, it laughed menacingly, and answered: "You should offer blood sacrifice." The ministers then understood, and said: "We will sacrifice to the king, the Beasts and the Dragon." Its people all said: "All the blood to the king."

Performance Log:

<Begin Log>
[A religious chorus plays throughout.]
SCP-2732-2-A and -C enter from the right.
SCP-2732-2-A and -C stop in the middle, and kneel towards the left.
7 SCP-2732-2 instances enter from the left in a line, each holding a rod supporting a large piece of animal meat. The piece of meat is a mixture of cow and pig meat, crudely bound together by strings to resemble a snake, with a pair of holes on the front end.
The instances begin to perform in a manner similar to that of the traditional Chinese dragon dance.
Upon reaching SCP-2732-2-A and -C, the seven instances throw the meat to the floor.
[A loud gong strike is heard.]
The SCP-2732-2 instance in the front hands a piece of white silk to SCP-2732-2-A, while the other 6 instances begin to tear at SCP-2732-2-C.
SCP-2732-2-A takes the white silk, hangs itself, and starts twitching.
The 7 instances walk back to the left and vanish.
A wooden ball painted in black, 2 meters in diameter, rolls from the left.
15 SCP-2732-2 instances enter from the right.
The instances rush towards the ball, and hold it for 5 minutes.
[A loud gong strike is heard.]
<End Log>

是日，阿伽之国困王。缢而死，举国庆之。曝尸于野。
逾三日，王使[ILLEGIBLE]
That day, the Kingdom of Ajia trapped their king. The king hanged himself and died. The whole country celebrated this, and exposed his body in the wild.
Three days later, the king's emissary [ILLEGIBLE]

Note: Ink was spilled onto the page, rendering the rest of the paragraph illegible. However, reading the legible part is enough to trigger the effect.
Performance Log: SCP-2732-2-D only appears in this entry, and unlike other instances, doesn't disappear afterwards. The instance is a roughly humanoid figure, lacking limbs, and wrapped in black silk.

<Begin Log>
SCP-2732-2-D appears in the middle of the stage.
The instance remains mostly still, but turns its head to always face the human subject who initiated the performance.
[No background music is present.]
<End Log>

Note: Examination shows that under the black silk, SCP-2732-2-D is composed of animal meat similar to that which would appear in Entry 6's performance. Embedded within the instance's face, a pair of human eyeballs can be found. Currently, all 5 pairs collected have identical DNA, indicating a male of Han ethnicity.

Footnotes
1. Note that the performance does not match the common practice of Beijing Opera, as costumes and facial makeup assigned are often unrelated to SCP-2732-2's roles.
2. According to Chinese tradition, one uses white silk instead of rope to hang oneself.
3. Chinese instrument with two strings, sometimes called a Chinese violin.
4. Note that instances' facial makeup is still present.
5. Equates to the role of a male clown.

« SCP-2731 | SCP-2732 | SCP-2733 »


SCP-2733 in an inactive state

Item #: SCP-2733
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Containment procedure 64-Delta-Romeo (standard containment for anomalous structures, mid-urban) is followed for SCP-2733-01. Two implanted agents are to remain in residence in █████, OK to keep civilians away from SCP-2733-01. Attempts to remove SCP-2733 have been unsuccessful, therefore the room containing SCP-2733 is to be secured by Foundation agents and locked with both keypad and retinal scan.
Description: SCP-2733 is a body storage cabinet in an abandoned building (SCP-2733-01) that served as a funeral home/morgue on the outskirts of █████, OK. SCP-2733-01 was abandoned after the business owning it, Restful Meadows Funeral Home and Crematory, went out of business c. 1976. The building has remained uninhabited for the past ██ years. SCP-2733's anomalous properties were discovered after the ghost-hunting show [REDACTED] began to scout the area for a new filming location; an implanted agent discovered SCP-2733 and reported it to Foundation personnel.
SCP-2733's primary effect manifests when a human being opens one of the cabinet doors while thinking of another either living or dead sentient creature. Upon opening SCP-2733, the subject will find the head of the creature they were thinking of. Creatures are alive and able to communicate until either the cabinet they are in is closed or another cabinet is opened and a second head is summoned, at which point the initial head vanishes. Attempts to track these heads have been futile.

Test Subject
Creature Thought Of
Result

D-8452
Instructed to think of a dog
The head of a Jack Russell terrier manifests. Dog is panting and appears in good spirits. Cabinet closed without incident.

D-8452
Instructed to think of a human
The head of D-8452's uncle, █████ ██████████, manifests. Head is communicative and healthy. Cabinet closed without incident.

D-8452
Instructed to think of a famous person
The head of English playwright William Shakespeare manifests. Head appears as historians have speculated he would have looked at his death at age 52. Head is communicative and healthy, if distraught. Cabinet closed without incident.

Dr. Theodora Wu
"My Mom"
Unsanctioned test by Dr. Wu. The head of her mother, Min Wu, manifests. Head is intact and, after momentary confusion, is friendly and pleasant. She and Dr. Wu have a brief conversation in Cantonese.

D-8452
Instructed to think of a deceased dog
The head of a Collie manifests. Dog is identified as D-8452's childhood pet. Dog is barking and appears in good spirits. D-8452 instructed to remove head from shelf. As soon as the head is no longer touching the shelf, its neck expels approx. .5L of blood and the head begins to decompose at a normal rate.

Dr. Peter Anselman
Instructed to think of D-8452
D-8452 is sedated and placed beside SCP-2733. Upon opening SCP-2733, D-8452's head disappears from its neck and manifests within SCP-2733. D-8452's body expels approx. 2L of blood and collapses. D-8452's head appears sedated as before, but alive. Closing SCP-2733 does not result in D-8452's head remanifesting on its neck. Dr. Wu becomes distressed and is sedated.

Addendum 2733-01:
Further investigation has indicated that Restful Meadows Funeral Home and Crematory was purchased by [REDACTED]1 with intent to demolish. Attempts to locate Joseph Wright (the previous owner of SCP-2733-01) and the body of █████ ██████████ have been unsuccessful.

Footnotes
1. The nation's largest owner of funeral service locations and cemeteries.

« SCP-2732 | SCP-2733 | SCP-2734 »


Former habitat of multiple SCP-2734 instances. Immediate vicinity contained more than fifty SCP-2734 instances just two hours before Foundation agents arrived on the scene.

Item #: SCP-2734
Object Class: Neutralized Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All containment cells previously containing instances of SCP-2734 are to be examined for structural weaknesses. All personnel aware of or involved with the containment of SCP-2734 are to be investigated in regards to the events detailed in Addendum 2734-3. A full report of the investigations' findings will be provided to O5-9.
Former habitats of SCP-2734 are to receive light satellite scans once a month. Any signs of SCP-2734 resurgence must be reported to O5-9.

+ Show Previous Containment Procedures

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All populations of SCP-2734 in the wild are to be constantly monitored via satellite. SCP-2734 populations must also receive regular surveillance from airborne drones. Foundation agents embedded in human populations close to SCP-2734 must keep watch for signs of SCP-2734 intrusion in human dwellings. Should instances of SCP-2734 approach or endanger human populations, Mobile Task Force Zeta-5 (“Shoo Out the Clowns”) are to be sent in to drive them back into unpopulated areas. Under no circumstances is lethal force to be used on SCP-2734 unless absolutely necessary.
Due to a partial information leak about SCP-2734, standard Disinformation Protocols must be applied. Falsified images, videos and stories about SCP-2734 must be spread online and through the wider media. Foundation-manufactured media must be obviously falsified to call doubt to SCP-2734's existence. Aforementioned media must also portray SCP-2734 as uniformly malicious, in order to discourage those who believe in SCP-2734's existence from seeking them out.
All instances of SCP-2734 contained in Foundation facilities must be held in standard humanoid containment cells. Additional privileges may be awarded for cooperation.

Description: SCP-2734 is a species of humanoid superficially resembling American culture's conception of a clown. Since January 2016, populations of SCP-2734 have sprung up all over the world, necessitating a global misinformation campaign. The majority of SCP-2734 sightings have taken place in the mainland USA and Canada. However, populations of SCP-2734 have been found in Western Europe, Australia, Central America and [DATA EXPUNGED].
Populations of SCP-2734 generally live as far away from human habitations as possible. SCP-2734 populations can comfortably exist in a wide variety of natural environments despite having little to no personal possessions aside from clothing. Despite urban legends, SCP-2734 is determined to avoid being seen, photographed or caught on video. The majority of images circulating through the media claiming to be SCP-2734 are in fact independent hoaxes or part of the Foundations' misinformation campaign.
In addition to resembling the Western ideal of a clown, members of SCP-2734 possess the following differences from Homo sapiens:

the ability to subsist on approximately 200 calories a day.
the ability to gain sustenance from nearly any organic matter. SCP-2734 instances have been shown to comfortably subsist on grass, leaves, flowers, roots, bark, tree sap, mushrooms, ferns, insects, and food waste from human garbage. SCP-2734 instances universally avoid consuming animal meat, although this is considered to be a cultural trait rather than a physical limitation. In times of scarcity, SCP-2734 instances have been known to eat small animals such as birds and rats; however, this appears to bring them a substantial amount of guilt.
flatter, stronger teeth; believed to assist with an herbivorous diet.
the ability to comfortably exist in nearly any climate. SCP-2734 has never shown any sign of being affected by climate-related maladies (e.g. hypothermia, heatstroke). Populations of SCP-2734 have been found in areas with temperatures above 45 °C and below -18 °C with no effect.
faster running speed. The average fully grown member of SCP-2734 can run at approximately 22 km/h. This ability is used primarily in evasion.

Outreach to SCP-2734 communities has been extremely difficult. SCP-2734 is determined to keep itself hidden; the first attempts at outreach have been met with great distrust and outright terror. Often a community of SCP-2734 will uproot itself and travel hundreds of kilometres after an attempt at communication from the Foundation. Eventually the Foundation was able to persuade one community to willingly hand over two members, (SCP-2734-1 and SCP-2734-2) into Foundation custody for purposes of mutual understanding. The Foundation has agreed to keep SCP-2734-1 and 2 in its care for only as long as they are comfortable, and to return them as soon as they request to do so.

+ Addendum 2734-1

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The following are excerpts from a journal kept by SCP-2734-1. These excepts were not voluntarily given, rather they were surreptitiously copied from his journal while he was being allowed out of his cell. SCP-2734-1 may have suspected these activities as he ceased updating the journal shortly after the Foundation began taking excerpts.

I hate this place. A clown's place is out in the arms of our Mother Earth, beneath every star in heaven. Here I get a concrete ceiling. They've painted it a nice soft yellow colour, but it's still a concrete ceiling. You can't replace the stars with concrete.

They always make sure to smile when they come to talk to me. I've never seen humans smile before. It's creepy. I don't like it.

One of the humans tried to interview me today. He looked just like HIM. That camp director. The one I left behind on my world. I went into hysterics. It took fifteen minutes for me just to stop sobbing.

The corridors and layout of [Site-16] look exactly like the Clown Processing Plants back home. But the staff, uniforms, and insignias are all different. I haven't seen much of this place, but I don't think it's as big as a Clown Processing Plant. I'm not sure there's any building on this planet that big. But I'll keep my eyes open, just in case.

Why is this world so different and yet so familiar? Same air. Same trees. Plenty of humans. But no clowns. Not anywhere. Just humans in whiteface.
Why are there no clowns? Did they never exist here? If they never existed, why do humans dress like them? Did the humans wipe them out? Were they forced to flee the planet like we were?
Did these people have anything to do with it?

I asked one of the staff members if I could give a performance to the staff. She said she'd pass a message to the Site Director, but they'd have to think about it. I'm so bored I'm actually considering performing for HUMANS.

I keep thinking back to my mother. I'm doing it more and more, as I'm slowly becoming convinced that they'll never let us out of this place. She's the whole reason I agreed to be their “guest”.
“Promise me you'll go with them”, she said. “If they come looking for us, at least you'll be safe”.
“Mother,” I said. “If they can find us in another plane of existence I doubt I'll be safe in an underground bunker or whatever they have in store.”
She didn't say anything. I just heard her sharp intake of breath as her nails dug deeper into my arms. I agreed because I never wanted to see her so scared again.

+ Addendum 2734-2

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The following text was written on a piece of stationary found crumpled up in a wastebasket inside SCP-2734-2's cell. It is believed that he may been trying to communicate with the Foundation through writing, being too distressed to discuss his background in person.

They made me mop the floors. The humans. They made me work sixteen hours a day. No breaks. I didn't complain. I didn't want to think about what they'd do to me if I complain. I might have be sent to [illegible]
I had not seen my family and friends in months. I also didn't want to think about where they were. I still don't. I tell myself they are okay. I keep mopping the floors. I don't complain.
I am not sure they need me to mop the floors. Don't they have drones for that? I don't know much about humans, except for how they cage us. Why do they make me mop the floors? I don't ask. I don't complain.
One day they make us lift barrels into a truck. Why don't they use a [illegible]? I don't ask. I just lift the barrels. Me and Gorn. The last few clowns left. The barrels were heavy. My back was aching so badly. But we loaded the barrels best we can. One of the last barrels, I slip. The barrel slips from my hands and falls on the ground. It makes a loud sound as it hits the ground, louder than it should have. The lid flew off. Litres and litres of green liquid pour out. Liquid and something else. Stench hits me hard. I feel like I am going to vomit. There is the green liquid, and also hundreds of tiny red balls. I recognize the green fluid. Some kind of preservative. It takes longer to recognize the red balls. I jumped down and picked one up. Then it hit me.
They were clown noses.
Hundred of clown noses. Sliced clean off our faces. When I turned it over, I could see the rotting meat inside. I looked behind me. I could see thirty other barrels in the truck.

The rest of the document is scribbled out.

+ Addendum 2734-3

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At approximately 7:00 am, on January 5th 2017, both SCP-2734-1 and SCP-2734-2 were found to be missing from their cells. No signs of how the disappearance occurred has been found, despite both cells being under 24 hour surveillance and a forensic examination being made of their cells. At the same time, all populations of SCP-2734 around the world spontaneously vanished from Foundation surveillance. Investigations are underway, but as of March 1st 2017, SCP-2734 is considered neutralized.

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