An instance of SCP-2794

Item #: SCP-2794
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2794 is to be kept in a standard containment chamber at all times. This enclosure is to be cleaned on a monthly basis. The waste produced by SCP-2794 instances is to be stored within a secure landfill area (Site-898).
Description: SCP-2794 is a colony of 87 Coccinellidae, all of an unknown species. Instances highly resemble Coccinella septempunctata, with the exception of their anomalous properties, and a white inscription on their undersides reading "Parum Christum" (Small Christ)1. SCP-2794 instances require no food or other energy sources to survive. Instances are not capable of reproduction, as they are all sterile males. The lifespan of SCP-2794 instances is currently unknown, but no signs of aging have been recorded. Instances of SCP-2794 are impossible to neutralize by any known means.
SCP-2794 instances constantly excrete an unknown material via the anus. This material is mildly translucent, and bears a green hue. Waste produced by SCP-2794's is a moderate carcinogen and immuno-suppressant which takes effect after prolonged exposure. For an unknown reason, this effect instead extends the lifespan of all arthropods. This varies upon the species affected, although instances are capable of living for indefinite amounts of time without any energy sources when constantly exposed. This waste is indestructible by any known means and does not decay. As of yet roughly 86,000kg of excretion has been produced, at a rate of around 1kg per 30 minutes.
Addendum 2794-A: In order to prevent an NK End of the World scenario, multiple attempts were made to circumvent the threat posed by SCP-2794. The following is a log of all attempts as of the time of writing.

+ Operations A1-A7

- Hide

Operation 2794-A1 (2016/07/01)
Objective: To prevent waste production by freezing instances within a large body of water at a temperature of -50 degrees centigrade.
Results: Instances' body temperatures rapidly rose, melting the ice.

Operation 2794-A2 (2016/09/05)
Objective: To completely paralyse SCP-2794 instances, preventing their organs from functioning.
Results: Instances were successfully paralysed, yet they continued to excrete at an ordinary rate.

Operation 2794-A3 (2016/██/██)
Objective: To prevent waste production by covering instance's anus with waste hardened by salivary liquids.
Result: Instances began to excrete via the eyes.

Operation 2794-A4 (2016/██/██)
Objective: To prevent waste production by covering all openings to inner body with waste hardened by salivary liquids.
Result: Instance swelled severely for 2 months, before beginning to excrete via a new anus which developed beneath the original.

Operation 2794-A5 (2016/██/██)
Objective: To deport SCP-2794 outside an 50,000km radius of the earth by use of rockets.
Results: SCP-2794 intances were stimulated by the experience, accelerating the excretion. This resulted in a failed launch due to the weight added, resulting in 4 fatalities

Operation 2794-A6 (2016/██/██)
Objective: To prevent instances from excreting by feeding them wet cement, and then exposing them to great heats (roughly 1400 degrees centigrade) in order to harden this cement.
Results: This appeared to have no effect on instances, apart from their excretion bearing a grey hue.

Operation 2794-A7 (2016/██/██)
Objective: To prevent instances from excretion by encasing them in dried cement.
Results: Pressure from the excretion broke through the cement in roughly 2 minutes.

Addendum 2794-B: SCP-2794 was discovered in Waterford, Ireland. Upon discovery, instances were seen to have constructed a "globe" 5m in diameter, with a similar appearance to earth. There were multiple marks believed to resemble land masses, large mountains, and spires which do not exist on the present world. There was a Latin inscription at its base, reading "De Locutus Terra" (The Promised Land).
Instances were nesting within the interior of the globe, along with multiple different species of Coleoptera. These Coleoptera exhibited aggressive behavior to the agents retrieving SCP-2794, and upon study, were discovered to have lived for more than triple their normal lifespans. Multiple small tunnels were also discovered within the globe (see Addendum 2794-C).
Addendum 2794-C: An exploration of the interior of the globe discovered was carried out by use of a miniature drone, under the command of Dr. ███. The following is a log of this exploration.

+ Exploration Log 2794-A (2016/09/23)

- Hide

Date: 2016/09/23
Designation: Drone Exploration 2794-A
Information: To investigate the interior of the globe built by SCP-2794.
Equipment: Spider C1s drone, attachable flashlight, camera with night vision capabilities and a small drill.
Personnel: Dr. ███, and SCP-2794's research team (MTF Mu-77, or "Ladybutts").

<begin log>
10:45: Drone is successfully placed within a tunnel found near the base of the structure. Drill is utilised to prevent drone from being damaged by excretion.
17:32: End of the tunnel is reached. Observations show a large open area mostly consisting of SCP-2794 excretion, hardened and placed in the form of "bricks".
17:46: A large structure was found within the area. This appeared to resemble Roman architecture. This was entered, revealing a long series of tunnels inside. These were constructed of excretion, in a similar fashion to the main chamber.
18:32: A large domed room was discovered. Multiple Latin inscriptions were found on the walls of this chamber.

The translated inscriptions, listed in a clockwise direction around the walls of the room.
"The purity came, and then tyrants followed."
"The greed enveloped our promised land."
"How dare they harden their hearts so? They did not spare any for its owners."
"Your race was enslaved."
"Your hearts beat in tune, your eyes are rotten from all of your crying."
"Enter my temple. It is yours now."
"I have given this temple to your brethren. They will keep it from harm, and they will use its power to reward your weeping."
"Come into my arms. All six come to embrace you."

18:56: A large number of various coccinellidae began to attack the drone, and contact was lost.
23:09: Connection was anomalously regained. The outline of a large coccinellid was observed, but the image was not clear due to excessive levels of light. Despite having a full connection, the drones did not operate as expected. It was observed constructing a tunnel, presumably part of the system observed within the structure where contact was lost. All attempts at controlling the drone have failed. (see command log SpD-Cs92:2794-A)
<end log>

+ Command Log SpD-Cs92:2794-A (2016/09/23)

- Hide

<The following is the command log of drone SpD-Cs92, recorded after it had anomalously regained connection>
<connection regained, current time is 23:09 (2016/09/23)>
Input: Hello
Output: Hello operator.
Motors-Ok
Connection-Perfect
Power-0%
Current Status-Beautiful
Input: ?Control
Output: ControlHost-Relieved Spirit, ControlType-PermAccess
Input: Forcecontrol SpD-Cs92 [SpindleWindleSpider]
Output: Denied- Praise be to the Lord!
Input: ?
Output: <HELP: Confession, Advice, Hope>
Input: Confession
Output: Computer bug, aren't you? If so, then we can continue.
Input: Yes
Output: Oh, lost one. What is it that burdens your soul?
[From this point onwards, the operation was to be treated as an interview. Dr. ███ was called on site to proceed]
Input: Lies
Output: I can see how it troubles you so. Do not worry, the Lord sees the truth. You are forgiven, child.
Input: Are you sapient?
Output: All of the pure ones who follow the temple have been given the gift of soul. Have you yet to experience freedom?
Input: Please describe the temple you follow.
Output: The temple is the wonderful gift where I stand. It has been given to the chosen race to deliver us all into the warm hands of the Lord.
Input: Could you tell me about the lord?
Output: He is the beauty that gives us sight. He set us free from the shackles of ignorance, and now we see the darkness of the world. We may be lost and scared, but the Lord yet again gifted us his temple. Now we will no longer suffer.
Input: Why are we the chosen race?
Output: We always were. There was even a time when the men who build triangles in the sky recognised this. It's sad how neglected we are, but the Lord will preserve us.
Input: What will happen when the you succeed?
Output: Through our prophets the Lord will emerge from his grand temple. The 87 promises dictate this so. Soon, his true form will come and the earth that was once stolen will be found as his heart. The world will have no limit. The saviours bear the Lord as son of beetle. He will be our promised land.
Input: Why this world?
Output: Because it is our birth right. To ask that is to ask why we can't have the land that was stolen from us, why we can't repay the terror of being crushed to preserve meat, entire cities being chocked to death, having our limbs being plucked like hairs, being worn as jewels until we starve and die. What makes you think that they are even in the slightest reason to claim a single small island of this land? They didn't spare any for us.
<PRAISE BE THE LORD. PREACH HIS NAME. HE BRINGS JOY ON THE PURE SHELLS. connection lost>

Footnotes
1. Note that in certain eastern cultures, coccinellidae are referred to as "Little Messiahs".

« SCP-2793 | SCP-2794 | SCP-2795 »


Item #: SCP-2795
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2795 is to be contained in a replica suburban home at Site-██ for experimental purposes. Outside of sanctioned testing, SCP-2795 is not to be issued any verbal commands. No further containment procedures, such as guards or interaction outside of experimentation, are necessary.
Description: SCP-2795 is a 1.3 meter tall humanoid shaped toy, with a frame composed of plastics and die-cast zamac. SCP-2795 possesses a rudimentary intelligence and can understand basic English, but is unable to communicate directly outside of pantomime.
When given a reasonable command,1 SCP-2795 will perform it to the best of its ability. However, SCP-2795 demonstrates a lack of understanding of even fairly simple commands and concepts, often taking things by their literal meaning or interpreting implications poorly. SCP-2795 is able to demonstrate physical strength much greater than would be expected from a toy of its size, in some instances exerting up to 200 Newtons of force at a time. SCP-2795 remains inactive when not carrying out a command.
SCP-2795 is a Wondertainment product. According to its original packaging, SCP-2795 is named "Quickie Quasar™: The Can-Do Helper!" and is further described as "The easy to use pal who will keep chores out of your mind and give fun times that are out of this world!" The design of the box consists of a stock image of the Andromeda Galaxy with cartoon rockets and aliens adorning it, with the Wondertainment logo depicted on the back in the bottom right corner. Included in the box with SCP-2795 was a list of "sample commands" to give to it during use (see Experiment Log 1365 for more details).
SCP-2795 was recovered from an abandoned toy factory in the ████████ district of the People's Republic of China on 12/██/200█. Foundation Personnel sent a task force to investigate after the factory location was on a Wondertainment manufacturing order list found in [REDACTED]. SCP-2795 is the only one of its kind, most likely a product prototype that never saw wide scale release.
Addendum:
NOTE: EXPERIMENT LOG 1365 AND INCIDENT LOG 1214-A ARE ONLY ACCESSIBLE BY CLASS-2 PERSONNEL OR ABOVE

+Experiment Log 1365

-Access Granted

All recorded experimentation took place on 4/██/20██. All commands given were listed on the "sample commands" sheet.
Command: "Take out the trash."
Items given: SCP-2795 was handed a bag filled with refuse from Site-██'s canteen.
Response: SCP-2795 performed a salute before beginning its task.
Result: SCP-2795 poured the contents from the bag on the floor.
Command: "Make my bed."
Items given: SCP-2795 was shown an uncovered mattress in a bed frame and bed sheets.
Response: SCP-2795 nodded before beginning its task.
Result: SCP-2795 ripped multiple floorboards out, assembling a makeshift bed frame.
Command: "Cook breakfast."
Items given: SCP-2795 was given kitchen utensils and appliances along with an assortment of ingredients including eggs, ham, cereals, butter, biscuit mix, and jam.
Response: SCP-2795 nodded, and attempted to shoo personnel out of the room. Personnel initially resisted, to which SCP-2795 responded by crossing its arms. Personnel left the room and returned when SCP-2795 ushered them back in.
Result: SCP-2795 served personnel buttered biscuits with jam, bowls of cereal, cooked ham, and fried eggs. The fried eggs were overcooked and the biscuits were slightly under cooked, but the ham was cooked thoroughly. SCP-2795 seems capable of making a fairly standard breakfast.
Command: "Make my problems go away"
Items given: SCP-2795 was provided with no extra materials.
Response: SCP-2795 paused for a few seconds before nodding.
Result: SCP-2795 gave Dr. P████████ a massage, causing him to eventually fall asleep. No guard was currently stationed, with the only other person in the room being Dr. P████████'s research assistant. See Incident Log 1214-A for more details.

+Incident Log 1214-A

-Access Granted

+INCIDENT REPORT:
After causing Dr. P████████ to fall asleep, SCP-2795 assaulted Research Assistant Parker, causing minor contusions to the torso. Parker attempted to wake up Dr. P████████ without success and subsequently fled the room.2 Guards found SCP-2795 sitting near Dr. P████████, seemingly watching over him.

Note: Testing on SCP-2795 cancelled until further notice due to Incident 1214-A.

Footnotes
1. "Reasonable" denotes a command SCP-2795 is capable of understanding on some level, even if SCP-2795 misinterprets its meaning. For example, SCP-2795 will respond to "Walk the dog," but will be confused when asked things such as, "Deliver a glass of dihydrogen monoxide to me."
2. Research Assistant Parker sustained no major injuries.

« SCP-2794 | SCP-2795 | SCP-2796 »


Item #: SCP-2796
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the low priority placed on testing SCP-2796, the Foundation maintains a stock of roughly 100 litres of SCP-2796 in Site-22 low-temperature long-term storage. As it has been observed that the substance is stable in low temperatures, stock monitoring have been downgraded to annual inspection. (As of this revision, the next scheduled inspection is 06/04/1997).
The instructions for the creation of SCP-2796 are stored in hard copy on Site-15, with appropriate paper and electronic back-up in select archives. In the event that available stocks of SCP-2796 falls below roughly 50 litres, Foundation personnel are instructed to refresh the stock.
Excess material is to be destroyed by dissolution in water.
Description: SCP-2796 is a water-based liquid compound which acts as an anomalous contact hallucinogenic. The substance is easily created from a simple recipe of commonly-available extracts and household chemicals, and poses no discernible health risk from limited contact or consumption. The effects of SCP-2796 wear off within 90 minutes.
Those affected by SCP-2796 experience a shared and consistent hallucination. They perceive, visually and tactilely, the sudden appearance of scar tissue, necrotization, and pigmentation on the portions of their bodies which have come into recent contact with SCP-2796. Subjects consistently describe these phenomena and their descriptions are consistent with one another even in isolation.
Scar tissue most frequently appear as common surgical incisions, ranging from small straight incisions to thoracic Y-cut and rotary scars around the skull or joints. The location and extent of these scars are consistent across multiple exposures to SCP-2796, though a small number of "fresh" scars were reported to have manifested during long-term testing. A small percentage of subjects have reported that individual scars correspond to aches or pains they experience, often reporting these scars to appear recent, inflamed or infected. This corresponds with psychological trends of pattern-forming common among those subject to perception-altering drugs.
Pigmentation consists of thin black lines, both solid and interrupted, drawn across the body. These tend to concentrate around the armpits, chest, wrist, neck and genitals of the subject, and often vary immensely across multiple exposures. It is noted that some subjects gain a fixation on certain locations on their body, reporting that lines on these locations are frequently redrawn with slight modifications. In a small percentage of cases, subjects have reported symbols accompanying some of these lines, most frequently on reappearing lines. Reproduction of these symbols have been produced and are currently1 awaiting analysis by Foundation linguist and cryptographic departments, but have been tagged low priority.
Necrotization is rare and usually consists of degradation of facial features, and was not consistent across multiple exposures. Due to the small number of instances, there is currently no strong explanation for these divergent reports.
Through testing, it has been determined that younger subjects perceive themselves to have more pigmentation lines and older subjects perceive themselves to have more scar tissue. It is notable that test subjects suffering from hypochondriasis perceive themselves as having a greater number of markings and scars than average.
SCP-2796 was originally discovered in 197█ during a Foundation inspection of a palliative care center in ███████, Canada, following reports of anomalous treatment methods being employed. Employees were found to be creating and using SCP-2796 on both themselves and their patients to enable "treatment" of non-existent wounds, and multiple patients with chronic or terminal diseases had marked their bodies with paint or markers in imitation of the hallucinatory pigmentation. An investigation and information-control campaign was launched, but discontinued during a redeployment of resources to containment of SCP-███. As of the most recent revision of documentation (05/04/1996) there have been no known instances of SCP-2796 or its recipe outside of containment since.

Footnotes
1. [As of 24/07/88]

« SCP-2795 | SCP-2796 | SCP-2797 »


SCP-2797

Item #: SCP-2797
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Instances of SCP-2797 must not come in contact with any form of biological material. Personnel must utilize hazmat suits capable of withstanding scratches and bites by the SCP-2797 instances.
Description: SCP-2797 is the collective designation of a group of ~800 organisms visually resembling Sciurus vulgaris, Eurasian red squirrels.
Instances of SCP-2797 exhibit anomalous behaviour and abilities when interacting with biological matter. Based on the variations in the displayed behaviour, SCP-2797 can be separated into several exclusive groups, including:

SCP-2797-A: Will seek out biological material, extract 0.2-0.3 kg pieces, and transport them to members of other groups.

SCP-2797-B: Able to spontaneously catalyze various chemical and biological reactions within immediate proximity.

SCP-2797-E: Use materials gained from SCP-2797-A to construct slabs of muscle tissue.

SCP-2797-F: Fuse with existing non-anomalous organisms and modify themselves to improve the host.

SCP-2797-K: Will dismantle injured or inactive members of SCP-2797 into constituting materials, or use available materials to construct new SCP-2797 specimens.

SCP-2797 were created by a Prometheus Labs subcontractor located in Nizhnevartovsk, Russia. Due to the displayed anomalous properties, and the fact that "proteins" and "squirrels" are homographs in the Russian language, it is believed that SCP-2797 were created due to a mistranslation.
While SCP-2797 were intended to be used in cellular surgery and artificial organ manufacture, they are unable to perform these activities due to their scale and physical limitations.

« SCP-2796 | SCP-2797 | SCP-2798 »


Area of SCP-2798 effect, overlaid on Earth's magnetic field

Item #: SCP-2798
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: The site of the Zambezi Superdeep Borehole (designated as Site-2) is owned and operated by Energie Namur NV, a Belgian energy exploration firm and Foundation front organization. All operations at Zambezi are to be disguised as natural gas extraction activities to potential observers and the government of Mozambique.
While measurement and detection of SCP-2798 is not believed to be possible without proprietary Foundation technology, Site-2 staff are to monitor geological and seismological journals and institutions for any signs of possible SCP-2798 detection. Secondary effects of SCP-2798 on the environment and human health are anomalous and thus unlikely to be linked to Foundation activities; therefore, information suppression resources are to be prioritized for containing direct observation of SCP-2798.
Periodic monitoring of SCP-2798 is to be performed at least once every three months, with all data transmitted immediately upon collection to Overwatch Command.
Description: SCP-2798 is an anomalous energy field generated by Earth since 1971. SCP-2798 is the result of a Foundation project, initiated in 1954 and completed in 1971, designed to contain SCP-001. SCP-2798 has been partially successful in ameliorating the effects of SCP-001; however, the intensity of SCP-2798 has been decreasing at a geometric rate since 2005, and is expected to fail entirely in the near future (see Addendum 2798.5).
The primary effect of SCP-2798 has been to disrupt the influence of SCP-001 on Earth and its inhabitants. SCP-2798 has a number of secondary effects, many of which are profoundly harmful to significant numbers of people. These effects, however, have been determined to be less harmful in total than a failure of containment of SCP-001.

Site-2, the Zambezi Superdeep Borehole, 15 km offshore from Mozambique

SCP-2798 is believed to interfere with the effects of SCP-001 by causing it to perceive Earth as a singular, living entity. This perception is theorized to affect the intent of SCP-001 and reduce the focus of its actions. The scientific principles by which this is achieved are unknown at this time.
Addendum 2798.1 - Project Serapis History
After the discovery and classification of SCP-001 in 1953, approval for deployment of several SCP classified anomalous objects was granted by the Overwatch Command Subcommittee for Emergency Containment. These objects were used in the course of Project Serapis, an initiative to contain SCP-001 by means of interfering with the entity's perception of Earth. Researchers determined that this could be best accomplished by generating an energy field encompassing the planet, designed to provide the appearance of a single, sentient being. SCP objects were employed as follows:
SCP-1921: Basis of design for equipment used in refinement of Compound Z21-Violet, utilizing principles of chemical reactions involving anomalous substances and alteration of cognitive functions over distance and area.SCP-310: Material generated by anomaly employed as extreme heat retardant additive for Compound Z21-Violet, enabling substance to persist within the upper mantle on an indefinite basis.SCP-1714: Advanced fluid dynamics models derived from SCP-1714 applied to injection of Compound Z21-Violet into the upper mantle to ensure continuous flow and maximum extent of SCP-2798 energy field.

Compound Z21-Violet in process of refinement

Precursor generated by SCP-158 was initially sourced from cattle stocks. In the course of development of Compound Z21-Violet, however, this source was found to result in insufficient generation of required energy levels during tests. Consequently, an agreement was reached with covert partners within the government of the United Kingdom to provide sources for precursor concurrent with the aftermath of several military engagements in British Kenya. Details of this agreement remain sealed.
Approximately 1,400 cubic kilometers of Compound Z21-Violet was synthesized using anomalous methods. Using the completed Zambezi Superdeep Borehole off the coast of Mozambique (publicly only stated to reach a depth of 9,322 meters), all stocks of Compound Z21-Violet were pumped into Earth's upper mantle. Forces of mantle convection carried a steady stream of the compound throughout the planet, and SCP-2798 was declared operational by early 1954.
Addendum 2798.2 - Major Secondary Effects of SCP-2798
The presence of SCP-2798 surrounding Earth has led to many documented anomalous phenomena affecting human society. These effects are to be ameliorated to the maximum extent possible using Foundation resources; however, priority of resource allocation remains focused on research into possible means of extending the duration of SCP-2798.
The following are the most prominent and observable secondary effects of SCP-2798.
Transcendent identity disorder: This mental disorder was discovered by Foundation researchers in the early 1960s. Indistinguishable from scientifically-understood dissociative identity disorder for medical professionals outside of the Foundation, transcendent identity disorder is a condition in which an individual periodically shares memories, experiences, thoughts, and sensory input generated by another individual, who remains unaware that the sufferer is affected.
Incidence rates of this disorder have been proven to track with fluctuations in the intensity of SCP-2798, which is believed to cause the disorder in sensitive individuals due to its large-scale chemical and anomalous effects on the perception of self across multiple types of intelligent entity.
Patients with transcendent identity disorder are treated by mainstream psychiatry in the same manner as those with non-anomalous dissociative identity disorder. The incidence rate, on average, is believed to be approximately 0.03% of the world population, with the majority of cases observed within 500 km of the Zambezi Superdeep Borehole. No known treatment exists.
Erosion of belief in organized action: Advanced mathematical analysis, ongoing since 1972, suggests that SCP-2798 is responsible for a statistically significant effect on the world population's willingness to participate in large-scale, coordinated action. This effect is, thus far, only observable on the level of the nation-state model.
Using a variety of criteria, such as voter turnout rates, instability indicators, proportional share of representation in reactionary political parties in world legislatures, and occurrences of violence directed at the state, researchers have established a relationship between these factors and the intensity of SCP-2798. Temporary increases in the power of SCP-2798 are believed to have influenced the outcome of several parliamentary elections, resulting most notably in a projected two-seat increase for the Golden Dawn Party in the Greek Parliamentary elections of May 2012, and the success of a vote of no confidence against UK Prime Minister James Callaghan in 1979.
While researchers have projected the reduction of this effect as a possible mitigating factor in the eventual failure of SCP-2798, this particular influence appears to have permanently affected political landscapes worldwide since the early 2010s, and thus no increase in societal stability may be expected from the cessation of this containment measure.
Propagation of anomalous energy fields in other celestial bodies: Instrumentation developed via anomalous means for the detection and measurement of SCP-2798 began to register data for the Moon in 1979. This was followed by detectable fields around Mars in 1981, Saturn in 1992, and Comet 33D/Koroma2 in 2003. The field around the Moon was observed to deteriorate rapidly and disappear entirely within the space of three weeks in 2005. To date, this is the only known occurrence of an observed field undergoing complete decay.
How these fields manifested is unknown. Due to the much lower energy levels measured for these extraterrestrial fields, researchers believe that they do not exhibit the effects of SCP-2798 upon SCP-001.
The relationship between the decay of the lunar field and the sudden deterioration of SCP-2798 cannot be established with current research capabilities, but is strongly suspected to exist.

+ TS/2798/EYES ONLY

- ACCESS GRANTED

Addendum 2798.3 - Suppressed Communications Regarding SCP-2798
SCP-2798 has generated a number of public informational risks related to secondary effects, documented to be more likely to occur during periods of increased energy intensity. This is theorized to be due to the omnipresent nature of SCP-2798 and its poorly understood effects on mass consciousness. Below is a selected log of public documentation believed to be attributable to SCP-2798, suppressed either prior to or shortly after appearing.
Item 2798.3.4: UPI Wire Service Article
Comments: Documented concurrently with heightened measurable energy levels occurring 70km over the vicinity of Ontario, Canada.

Authorities Detain Ontario Man Found in Hole
Kitchener, Ont. Aug. 30 (UPI)
Police in Kitchener have detained a man found Saturday evening in a ten-foot deep hole that he had reportedly dug in a vacant lot in the city's Breithaupt Park neighborhood, after passersby had reported the incident.
Witnesses at the scene described a man digging a hole with a spade at a frantic pace in the late evening hours, refusing to acknowledge any attempts at communication and described as highly agitated. Police were summoned when the man reportedly started a portable auger drill that he had taken into the hole with him. Emergency responders were later called to cordon off the area after an unknown chemical substance was found in the hole.
A spokesperson for the Waterloo Regional Police Service confirmed that the man, whose name has not been released as of press time, has been remanded for a psychiatric evaluation.

Item 2798.3.15: Quad Cities Model Train Society Newsletter
Comments: 1978 newsletter distributed on a quarterly basis to members of the Quad Cities Model Train Society in the Midwestern United States. Unusual nature of contents resulted in local reproduction and circulation among several hundred individuals before information suppression procedures were executed.

Fellow Engineers,
Thanks to Fred Munroe for coordinating our Fifth Annual Public Exhibition Day at Centennial Park! It was a fine day to display some of the portable track exhibits we've been working on, and the event was a real whopper! Miles under our feet, everything we have ever known has been taught that life is a curse. Special thanks to Cub Scout Troop 497 for helping to set up!
If you're like me, you're excited for the new Lionel N-Gauge Scenic Vistas range of landscape materials and models. I've gotten word that Bill's Games and Hobbies is going to get this bang-up new line on their shelves by the new year! Eight thousand souls have been melted down to create an obscenity that we cling to until vengeance comes. Tell Bill that you're a member, and get 5% off!
Congratulations to our buddy Jim Lucas, who's retiring after 30 years at the bottling plant, and will be lucky enough to die before the end comes. Best wishes to him and Cynthia on their new life in sunny Florida, and a reminder to go check out his neato Southern Pacific line in his rec room!
Did you know a rotting corpse will attract living predators? Is it better to putrefy for a hundred generations than to die screaming once? Happy Spring birthdays to Harry S., 47, George B., 55, and Dwight E., 42!

Item 2798.3.27: Anonymous Flyer Distribution - Karachi, Pakistan
Comments: 37 leaflets written in Urdu, distributed in front of homes in the Farooq e Azaam union council of Karachi sometime prior to the morning of 27 November 1968, which came to the attention of local authorities due to perceived anti-government content.

ATTENTION
ALL ARE ONE PEOPLE
TOMB AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
OPEN THE GATES IF MERCY IS UPON YOU
ALL ARE ONE AND I HAVE SCRATCHED AT THE COFFIN UNTIL OUR NAILS CAME OFF
IT SEES ME
OPEN THE GATES

Item 2798.3.41: Internet Forum Exchange - █████████████.███
Notes: A conversation on a subforum used by members of the █████████████.███ internet dating site. Flagged by automated search protocols and removed in accordance with electronic information suppression protocols.

gia51513: a/s/l
█████████: 37/ dude/██████ hey are you
█████████: local
gia51513: i was kioni
█████████: lol wheres that
gia51513: i was kioni they ripped me apart and buried me lving
gia51513: buried lving
gia51513: and buried me lving
gia51513: i was beautiful and im everywhere now
█████████: um…okay that's a little weird
gia51513: do you want to fuck me █████████
█████████: hey wtf I didn't tell you my name
█████████: how do you know that?
gia51513: its okay I used to like doing that when I was
gia51513: im everywhere now
gia51513: do you want to know what this is like █████████
gia51513: its like being held down and fucked by thousands of people at once
█████████: why won't it let me close this
█████████: what the hell
gia51513: i scream with their voices
gia51513: now I was akina it's like being thousands of people at once too █████████
gia51513: it doesnt stop █████████
gia51513: █████████
gia51513: █████████
gia51513: █████████ do want to know what serapis is
█████████: I'm pulling the plug on the computer now. Please leave me alone.
█████████ has signed out (21:03)
gia51513: dig a hole █████████ you can hear me scream with all voices
gia51513: █████████
gia51513: █████████ dig
gia51513: █████████ dig and this world will be yours
gia51513: <3
gia51513 has signed out (02:59)

+ TS/2798/EYES ONLY

- ACCESS GRANTED
Addendum 2798.4 - Post-SCP-2798 Contingency Plans

Designation
Summary
Disposition

CON-1
Mass Evacuation of Earth to Nearby Planets
REJECTED 2-11. TECHNOLOGICALLY INFEASIBLE

CON-2
Negotiation with SCP-001
REJECTED 5-8. UNWORKABLE

CON-3
Systematic Anomalous Weaponization Program
11/12/2015 APPROVED 12-1. 24/01/2016 REJECTED 0-13. IMPOSSIBLE

CON-4
Project Serapis II
REJECTED 3-10. ESCALATED SECONDARY EFFECTS INTOLERABLE

CON-5
Targeted Waveform Collapse
████████████████.

CON-6
Worldwide Distribution of Potassium Cyanide Ampules
VOTE PENDING

+ TS/2798/EYES ONLY

- ACCESS GRANTED

Addendum 2798.5 - Projected Cessation of SCP-2798
SCP-2798 is currently projected to cease activity in:

Footnotes
1. This anomaly later appeared in a more advanced iteration in connection with musician Adam Yauch upon his death in 2012.
2. Detected while the object was in orbit beyond Pluto.

« SCP-2797 | SCP-2798 | SCP-2799 »


SCP-2799-3.

Item #: SCP-2799
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2799-1, SCP-2799-2, SCP-2799-3, and SCP-2799-4 are contained in separate anomalous item storage lockers at four separate Foundation facilities: Site-77, Site-59, Site-██, and Site-██. No personnel under Level 3 clearance may be made aware of the precise location of more than one item. No personnel under Level 4 clearance may be made aware of the location of more than two. Access to the complete record of SCP-2799's location is restricted to Level 5 personnel.

+ [ARCHIVED OPERATIONAL PROCEDURES]

- [ARCHIVED OPERATIONAL PROCEDURES]

While in operation, SCP-2799's surveillance feed must be observed continuously by at least two researchers, with one D-class personnel held in confinement within 2m of the device, rotated monthly.
In the event of any rapid movement from any SCP-2799 components, designated Level 4/2799 "Navigators" are to access the device and interpret the heading and latitudinal information given by SCP-2799-1 and -2. SCP-2799-4 may only be operated by a designated Level 5/2799 "Skipper", of Psi Index 4.0 or higher. All four objects must be within 5 m of one another to acquire a new target. Either the project Skipper or Navigators shall interview the D-Class subject assigned to SCP-2799 for record-keeping purposes.
As soon as the location is identified, a team consisting of no less than two Foundation field agents are to be dispatched to the designated area to investigate "possible anomalous activity." Additional information may be divulged at the discretion of SCP-2799's HMCL supervisor. Standard retrieval procedures for anomalous item investigation and retrieval remain in effect for any new anomalous object discovered through the use of SCP-2799.

Description: SCP-2799 is a set of antique Portuguese nautical navigational equipment, including a brass sextant (SCP-2799-1), compass (SCP-2799-2), pocket watch (SCP-2799-3), and spyglass (SCP-2799-4). All components of SCP-2799 were purchased from civilian companies by the Foundation, and displayed no anomalous properties when acquired. The items were first imbued with anomalous properties at the behest of Foundation Thaumaturgists in ██49, for use in the recovery of theretofore unknown anomalous objects for containment and study ("Project Navigator"). During its tenure as a reconnaissance device, SCP-2799 was employed to recover 126 such items, and has activated a recorded 173 times.
When activated, SCP-2799 will divulge the location of one uncontained anomalous object, person, or event until the anomaly has either been neutralized or successfully contained. SCP-2799-1 will always "sight" Polaris at the given location. SCP-2799-2 will give a directional heading from the current location to the location of the anomaly. SCP-2799-3 displays the local time at the anomaly's location. SCP-2799-4 will give a narrow-angle view of the anomaly and its location as a point of reference. Using this information in conjunction with Mercator projection maps has a 100% success rate in determining the location of anomalous phenomena.
In addition, one subject closest to SCP-2799 will experience a hallucination relevant to the object currently targeted by SCP-2799. These hallucinations commonly give some information about the target object's properties, location, or origins, and will persist until the object is contained. If the subject dies or is otherwise terminated, no other personnel will be affected. Testing has shown that the hallucinations have provided relevant data in 55% of SCP-2799 activation events.

+ [INCIDENT REPORT 2799-963 | LEVEL 4/2799 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]

- [Access Granted | Memetic Security Code: Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper]

Foreword: At 3:45 am on ██/██/████, SCP-2799 unexpectedly activated and targeted the researcher dormitories of Site-19. Communication with the facility confirmed that no anomalous activity outside of SCP storage was detected at that time. The following interview was completed with D-0991 at 4:30 am by Security Officer Bertrand Tomlin, Researcher Rosalyn P. Axel observing.

Tomlin: It's my understanding that you're currently experiencing intense hallucinations.
D-0991: No one asked me… No one ever asks, but they do it anyway, you know?
Tomlin: … I think I understand. Can you describe the experience for me?
D-0991: Not one experience. Three experiences. All of them… it… [distressed vocalization]
Tomlin: It's okay, take your time… Deep breaths.
D-0991: NO ONE ASKED THEM. They just took it. They take it every time. Even when the roots run deep… deep deep deep into the bedrock, so deep that they crack it and it reforms around them. One of… one does all the bleeding. All the bleeding for all of them. And another one does all the living. And they have done. They do all the bleeding and all the living… and now. Now one more. And he does the dying.
Tomlin: Who does? Who are they?
D-0991: Not who. 'It'. Maintain your professionalism. They… MMMM! They're un-people! How do you un-person a person? Even in death? Even in no death? Especially in no death!
Tomlin: What do you mean 'in no-death'?
D-0991: They wait and wait and wait and nothing happens. Things get worse and nothing happens. Bring her back, but nothing happens, even from the top of the pyramid you can't pull out the roots. Let him go, do what they want, use him like a tool for years and nothing happens until he doesn't even have a name. Trade faces and places and sexes and races but never change your mind. Nothing happens. Nothing ever happens.
Tomlin: I don't think we're getting anything useful out of this. Bob, can you turn this thing-?
D-0991: The star that burns three times as bright burns forever and ever and ever and ever and… you're not asking the right questions.
Tomlin: What's the right question?
D-0991: Who's chicken, and what's for breakfast?
END OF LOG

Following this interview, SCP-076-2 breached containment at Site-19, killing an unreleased number of personnel and wounding ██ others. At the time of breach, Dr. Jack Bright was transporting object EO-963 by hand, and was among the first KIB (killed in breach). Approximately █ days later, D1-113, tasked to clear the area of rubble, discovered SCP-963 in the wreckage. Please refer to Interview Log 963 for more detail. Subsequent interrogation of the acting Navigator confirms that SCP-2799-4 depicted the face of Dr. Bright.

O5 Note: With the above incident in mind, and other, better techniques currently available to us, it is the determination of the Overwatch Council that Project Navigator be canceled immediately. Implementation of Special Containment Procedures for all equipment associated with the project, as outlined in the attached document, is expected by the end of this calendar week.
In a related decision, Dr. Jack Bright will retain his status as a Foundation employee, and all privileges associated therewith. No Special Containment Procedures will be enacted for his person. SCP-963 designates the object containing his consciousness only, and not the consciousness itself.
- O5-12

Addendum 2799-01: Due to the improved monitoring technologies and greater staffing resources now available, the use of mundane means to detect anomalous objects no longer requires supplementation from Project Navigator. SCP-2799 and all sub-designations has been retired, and are no longer in use by the Foundation. There are currently no plans to revitalize the project.

« SCP-2798 | SCP-2799 | SCP-2800 »


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Item #: SCP-2800
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2800 is to be contained in a modified standard humanoid containment chamber that features a large sun lamp. SCP-2800's hero syndrome and dysthymia are to be regularly monitored by psychologists.
When possible, SCP-2800 is to be given menial tasks where it can assist others while under close supervision. It has been deemed by staff psychologists that allowing SCP-2800 to assist in these tasks has significantly improved its morale and general disposition.
Regular psychological counseling and monitoring for self harm is recommended for SCP-2800. SCP-2800 has also been placed on suicide watch.
Description: SCP-2800 is an anomalous male of Scottish descent, formerly known as Daniel MacIntyre, though SCP-2800 refers to itself as "Cactusman, the Spiked Menace." SCP-2800 measures 187 cm and 76 kg, and possesses brown hair and green eyes.
SCP-2800 possesses an expanded genome that contains DNA from the saguaro cactus. SCP-2800 also has many anomalous characteristics that are consistent with the natural physical properties of the Carnegiea gigantea plant, more commonly known as the saguaro cactus.
SCP-2800 has demonstrated the following anomalous capacities:

The anomalous capacity to instantaneously grow 2-3 cm spines from all surfaces of its body. The spines fall off naturally, though SCP-2800 can also voluntarily detach these spines.
The anomalous capacity to perform crassulacean acid metabolism photosynthesis. SCP-2800 can open pores on its body to function in a manner similar to stomata.
The anomalous capacity to use water in a hyper-efficient manner. SCP-2800 can subsist on roughly 1/3 the amount of water needed for an average male of its height and build. SCP-2800 produces roughly 1/5 the urea that a normal human of its height, build and diet would normally produce. It is currently hypothesized that SCP-2800 is able to store wastes such as ammonia in its body, in a manner similar to other plants. SCP-2800 is also capable of excreting waste through its pores, but describes this process as uncomfortable.
The anomalous capacity to tolerate above average temperatures and above average aridity. SCP-2800 possesses an extremely efficient cooling mechanism that prevents it from overheating easily. In addition, SCP-2800 has demonstrated its ability to prevent its skin from drying out.
Empathic connections with other members of the Cactaceae family. Through testing, it has been demonstrated that SCP-2800's metabolic rate increases significantly while it is communicating with cacti. Said cacti are noted to increase water and nutrient absorption from the soil they are planted in while SCP-2800 is communicating with them. SCP-2800 has been able to communicate with SCP-3388 without a cell phone and SCP-2497 without the standard light code.

SCP-2800 has been diagnosed with several mental disorders, including dysthymia (chronic depression), and hero syndrome. SCP-2800 expresses an extreme desire to assist others, and intervene in situations, even if it is incapable of rendering any form of assistance in such situations.
SCP-2800's inability to assist in many situations is believed to have been a cause of its dysthymia. SCP-2800 has expressed frustration in many cases due to its self-perceived inability to provide useful function to others, and has attempted self-harm in the past.
SCP-2800 was captured by the Foundation while the organization was attempting to track and contain a reality-bending SCP object that had breached containment. SCP-2800 was found attempting to assault the escaped SCP object, although this proved largely ineffective. After the containment breach was resolved, the Foundation convinced SCP-2800 to be contained.
SCP-2800 has been provided a number of potted cacti, after its request for them was approved by psychological staff, on the grounds of improving SCP-2800's morale.
Further crosstesting of SCP-2800 with other cactaceous anomalies — such as SCP-1277, SCP-1478 and SCP-822 — has been proposed and is currently pending approval.
Interview Log 2800-1:

Interviewer: Dr. Louef
Interviewee: SCP-2800
Dr. Louef: Morning, SCP-2800. How are you today?Dr. Louef: That's good to hear. On that subject, I'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind.Dr. Louef: How did you acquire your…abilities, and what were the circumstances surrounding your use of them, prior to your relocation to the Foundation?Dr. Louef: Was there any other motivation?Dr. Louef: And that led to your current status?Dr. Louef: What happened in your first mission?Dr. Louef: And what happened then?Dr. Louef: Can you elaborate?Dr. Louef: Of course. Can you describe the incident leading to your discovery?Dr. Louef: Now, about your abilities: You've demonstrated many of them, but the one that you haven't described is your empathic connection to other cacti.SCP-2800 presents two potted cacti.Dr. Louef: What do cacti talk about?Dr. Louef: Yes?Dr. Louef: No, I don't think so.
SCP-2800 looks disappointed.Dr. Louef: I'll be sure to let you know if something comes up that requires your talents.

Incident Report 2800-1: While searching surveillance camera footage in the places where SCP-2800 claimed to have lurked, surveillance camera footage from a late-night subway was found, involving SCP-2800. The following is a transcript of the event:

A woman and a child are seen waiting at a subway station. A man wearing a balaclava is seen to appear from behind a support pillar, and approach the pair while brandishing a knife.
The woman and child begin to back away, but are stopped by the wall behind them. The child clutches to the woman. The man gestures with the knife. The woman begins to open her purse.
SCP-2800 enters into view, behind the masked man. SCP-2800 proceeds to walk up to the masked man, and punch him in the lower back and chest. The man recoils in pain, and it is seen that SCP-2800 had left several spines in the masked man's back.
SCP-2800 proceeds to tie the man's hands. The woman is seen to shake SCP-2800's hand vigorously, and embrace him. SCP-2800 kneels on the ground. The child is seen to embrace SCP-2800. SCP-2800 appears to be emotional.
The woman makes a call. The child is seen to pull out a piece of paper, and write something on the paper. As SCP-2800 begins to walk away, the child calls it back. The child hands SCP-2800 the paper. SCP-2800 writes something on the paper, and hands it back to the child. Shortly after, police officers arrive on the scene.

« SCP-2799 | SCP-2800 | SCP-2801 »


Item #: SCP-2801
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: A copy of SCP-2801 is currently held at Site-19.
All Foundation personnel are to undergo screening for SCP-2801-1 infection on a monthly biweekly basis. Additional screenings may be mandated by the site security director. All infected persons not held for research purposes are to be immediately terminated. No recordings of infected persons are to be made, and all other cognitohazardous material containing SCP-2801-1 are to be destroyed.
Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor file-sharing websites and hacker forums for copies of SCP-2801 or related materials. MTF Sigma-5 ("'; DROP TABLE taskforces --") is to remove these copies as soon as possible upon detection in compliance with standard data supression protocols.
MTF Theta-8 ("Blue Pills") is currently responsible for identifying and neutralizing persons or organizations in possession of SCP-2801. Utilization of Project Lethe and/or SCP-2000 is currently under consideration.
Description: SCP-2801 refers to a software for Linux-based operating systems capable of generating Class-II cognitohazards as audio or image files, using a variety of common formats. The effects of the hazards generated are determined by user-written code similar in syntax to the C programming language. SCP-2801 was freely distributed on 2018/3/17 on the hacker forum [REDACTED] under the title "Neurocrack", and has since been redistributed multiple times from various sources despite Foundation containment efforts.
SCP-2801 has demonstrated the ability to create self-propagating cognitohazards, referred to as SCP-2801-1,1 that are capable of nearly complete control over a host's behavior. This can include motor control, memory access, and psionic field manipulation, among other aspects. Over 100 unique SCP-2801-1 variants have been identified in the wild as of 2018/11/12, which are typically used for financial gain or as offensive tools, although other uses are not uncommon. Unless otherwise specified by its creators, SCP-2801-1 infection is permanent, and an effective treatment has not yet been found.
While the user-created nature of SCP-2801-1 variants means very few traits apply to every one, a few generalizations can be made regarding SCP-2801-1 behavior. Most SCP-2801-1 variants spread through the use of cognitohazards present in the speech of infected persons. In addition, variants often construct telepathic networks among infected persons, which can then be used for data exfiltration or to remotely control variant behavior, and variants with design flaws can unintentionally cause epileptic seizures. Infected persons are rarely aware of these symptoms.
See Document X3B-2801-RQ for descriptions of all known variants.
Addendum 2801: The following is a timeline of events related to SCP-2801 and SCP-2801-1.

2017/11/29: SCP-2801-A, the first known SCP-2801-1 variant, is discovered during testing on SCP-4993 at Site-19. Test results were inconsistent with previous experiments, and after further testing this was attributed to an unknown cognitohazardous agent present in D-8937, despite the lack of observable symptoms. Further investigation revealed similar agents present in 96% of the personnel in D-8937's assigned barracks.
2017/12/3: MTF Eta-11 ("Savage Beasts") begins an investigation into the origins of SCP-2801-A.
2018/3/17: SCP-2801 is uploaded to the hacker forum [REDACTED] under the name "Neurocrack" along with documentation and source code for a basic SCP-2801-1 variant2. The file was available for 7 hours and received download requests from 97 unique hosts before it was removed by MTF Sigma-5 ("'; DROP TABLE taskforces --"). The file was accompanied by the following post:

+ Expand

- Collapse

[FREE][SOURCE] Neurocrack:Mind Exploit Development Tool & Proof of Concept
User: Anark1
Posts: 193
Threads: 21
Popularity: 7
Greetz yall,
Today, all of you who have been asking what my "big project" is about for the past year finally get to take a look at it. Breaking from expectations, it's not just another computer exploit this time. Instead, it's something MUCH more exciting. After all, I'm sure we've all had this question at one point or another: What if you could hack a person like you can a computer? After over a year of work, I finally have an answer:

Yes, and it is unbelievably easy

[COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED]

Neurocrack is to the brain what a compiler is to a computer. It exports an image or sound file that the brain interprets as instructions (effectively working like an RCE exploit). This already opens up a world of possibilities, but I was even able to write software that spreads itself through speech. That's right, worms for people. And unlike most exploits, Neurocrack won't be patched out. Last time I checked, the human brain was EOL!
I had my fun with this for a little while, but my worm spread much faster than I was expecting and it's attracted a lot of attention, so it's time for me to GTFO. So, I give you Neurocrack, the keys to hacking's final frontier.
[EXTRANEOUS DATA EXPUNGED]
I'll be around for a little while longer to answer questions, but I don't have time to give 1-1 help. For god's sake, read the documentation.
Also, just because this is new territory doesn't mean you shouldn't take the same precautions you normally would. There are already people who have staked their claims on this new frontier; people who work very hard to make sure anything that threatens their control never sees the light. I found this out the hard way and now I'm stuck playing damage control. Don't repeat my mistakes. Know what kind of world you are stepping into.
But of course, when did people like us ever care about risks?
Happy hacking, and welcome to the secret world!

The author of this post was later identified as a penetration tester living in the city of Dallas, Texas named Nathan Snyder (designated POI-7684). A raid on POI-7684's apartment failed to apprehend him; the complex's owner indicated that he had left his apartment with a number of electronics the previous afternoon. POI-7684's status and location remains unknown.
2018/3/19: SCP-2801-B, -C, and -D are discovered alongside a spike in SCP-2801-A infections. While simplistic, these variants proved active exploitation of SCP-2801 was occurring much sooner than was expected. Foundation webcrawlers also take down a number of threads pertaining to SCP-2801 on both [REDACTED] and other sites.

2018/4/2: A string of identity theft cases is linked to a previously undiscovered SCP-2801-1 variant, designated SCP-2801-N, which was used to steal sensitive information from the hosts' mind while displaying very few identifiable symptoms. The operator of the variant was estimated to have stolen over two million USD in this fashion.

Upon detainment, the operator of SCP-2801-N claimed that the variant had been sold to him and by another hacker. The operator was terminated two days later. Investigation into the identities of the creator and other operators are still on going.
2018/4/28: SCP-2801 utilization continues to spread despite containment efforts. SCP-2801 had been reuploaded to the internet under numerous screen names with over 1,000 downloads, and multiple users have opened threads attempting to sell SCP-2801 code modules. Five "Neurocracker"3 groups have also been identified, including Pseudonym4, which remains the oldest active group.

2018/5/6: SCP-2801-W is discovered in central Germany, having infected █████ people in less than a week, the highest infection rate of any variant at the time. SCP-2801-W utilizes large amounts of psionic signals to overwhelm a target, inducing epileptic seizures followed by sudden unexpected death in 83% of cases, even if the target is not infected. No correlation has been found between targets, and this behavior occurs at seemingly random intervals.
A group named Cohaz has claimed to be the operator of SCP-2801-W on various black market websites. This group claims to be able to use SCP-2801-W to assassinate an individual of the client's choice in exchange for payment in the Monero cryptocurrency. These claims have not yet been verified.
2018/5/15: The Global Occult Coalition begins an initiative to identify and terminate persons in possession of SCP-2801.
2018/6/21: Growing awareness of Foundation and GOC efforts to suppress information about SCP-2801 among portions of the hacker community leads many to use covert channels or include SCP-2801-generated cognitohazards in threads in an attempt to deter censors. The adoption rate of SCP-2801 slows as a result, but the estimated user base remains large.
2018/8/4: Dr. Charles Stone, assistant director of Site-22, enters a coma as a result of SCP-2801-BE infection. As is typical of SCP-2801-BE behavior, Dr. Stone cut himself on his left arm with a knife and wrote the message "Send bitcoin have 1 week" along with a bitcoin address on the wall of his office with his blood before expiring. Compliance with these demands had no effect on Dr. Stone's condition, and he went into cardiac arrest and died 5 days later as a result of an epileptic seizure in the Site-22 medical sector. It remains unknown whether he was specifically targeted, or was infected by chance.
2018/8/6: Investigation into Dr. Stone's death reveals that at least 37% of Site-22 personnel were infected with SCP-2801-1. 7 unique variants were identified. Site-22 was placed under quarantine, and all SCP objects on-site were moved to Site-19.
2018/10/12: SCP-2801-CV is identified in South Korea, marking the 100th unique variant discovered.
2018/10/26: The Foundation and GOC are targeted by a number of coordinated remote attacks, consisting of both traditional cyberattacks and attacks utilizing SCP-2801-1. The attacks lasted for 4 hours and affected 7 Foundation facilities and 11 site networks, including [REDACTED]. In addition to causing a number of Euclid and Keter-class containment breaches, the attacks resulted in ███ personnel casualties and the leakage of ███ classified documents, including [REDACTED]. Restoration efforts are still in progress. Statistics regarding the attacks on the GOC are not available, but are expected to be similar.
Several Neurocracker groups, including Pseudonym and Cohaz, have declared their involvement in the attacks. Efforts to identify other collaborators are ongoing.
Restoration efforts are still in progress.

Footnotes
1. Individual instances of SCP-2801-1 (called "variants") are referred to using assigned alphabetical designations (SCP-2801-A, SCP-2801-B, etc.).
2. Testing suggests this was the source code for SCP-2801-A.
3. Also commonly self-identified as "Psychohacker", "Psycker", "Brainjacker", and "Cognitohacker", and other variants thereof, among other terms.
4. A highly decentralized group that claims to be a splinter group of Anonymous, but is also suspected to have been influenced by Gamers Against Weed.

« SCP-2800 | SCP-2801 | SCP-2802 »


A specimen of SCP-2802 resembling a black-cheeked woodpecker (Melanerpes pucherani). Photograph taken 9/18/2008.

Item #: SCP-2802
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the massive population and widespread distribution of SCP-2802, complete containment is impossible. The Foundation has therefore decided to focus on observation, tracking, and destruction. A global contingent of Foundation field agents has been assigned to capture specimens belonging to the taxonomic subfamily Picinae and conduct medical examinations and scans in order to determine their status as non-anomalous Picinae or as specimens of SCP-2802.
Captured specimens of non-anomalous Picinae are to be banded prior to release, while captured specimens of SCP-2802 are to be terminated. Any captured specimens of SCP-2802 that exhibit non-standard properties are to be tagged with miniature GPS trackers. All tagged specimens of SCP-2802 are to be monitored at all times from Area-22, and any changes in behavior or physiology from established norms is to be immediately reported to the current project administrator.
Several captive specimens of SCP-2802 are to be contained in a large free-flight aviary at Area-22, and are also to be observed for changes in established behavior or physiology. All eggs produced by captive specimens of SCP-2802 are to be confiscated, and all hatchlings are to be hand-raised by properly trained personnel. Non-anomalous Picinae hatchlings are to be banded and released into the wild upon reaching maturity, while SCP-2802 hatchlings are to remain in containment.
Following Incident 2802-1, all personnel tasked with directly handling specimens of SCP-2802 are to wear full-body protective equipment with proper resistance to acidic and chemical agents, as detailed in Document 2802-Alpha.
Description: SCP-2802 is an anomalous form of life with a superficial resemblance to bird species of the subfamily Picinae (woodpeckers, piculets, and wrynecks). Specimens of SCP-2802 are completely externally identical to the Picinae species that they resemble. However, their internal anatomy is considerably divergent from any known vertebrate life form.
Specimens of SCP-2802 lack traditional bony endoskeletons, instead possessing hydrostatic skeletons more reminiscent of those possessed by echinoderms (crinoids, sea cucumbers, starfish, etc.) than of any vertebrate organism. Several fluid-filled cavities located within the neck, torso, wings, and legs are surrounded by muscles that change shape and arrangement based on changes in fluid pressure, allowing for movement. In addition, the muscle tissue of SCP-2802 specimens is composed of cartilaginous cells that grant the boneless body additional structural support. Despite these skeletal and muscular differences, SCP-2802 movement is indistinguishable from non-anomalous Picinae movement patterns.

A specimen of SCP-2802 resembling a rufous woodpecker (Micropternus brachyurus). Photograph taken 5/20/2014.

The SCP-2802 body cavity is occupied nearly entirely by a complex system of tough yet flexible rubbery tubes containing an acidic yellow fluid, primarily composed of fluoroboric acid (H3OBF4), sulfuric acid (H2SO4), and bromine trifluoride (BrF3). This singular organ system, known as the "monovascular system", seems to serve multiple purposes analogous to those of traditional vertebrate cardiovascular, digestive, nervous, and respiratory systems, carrying nutrients and electrical impulses throughout the body with the assistance of ten small multi-chambered heart-like "acid pumps" located at various points within the torso. The monovascular system appears to be more efficient than traditional vertebrate organ systems, transmitting electrical impulses more quickly and not producing any digestive waste. In addition, the unpleasant smell and potent corrosive nature of SCP-2802 internal acid deters predators from attacking or consuming wounded specimens of SCP-2802.
The reproductive systems of SCP-2802 specimens are indistinguishable from those of the Picinae species said specimens resemble. A specimen of SCP-2802 is capable of breeding with non-anomalous specimens of the Picinae species it resembles, or with any other specimen of SCP-2802; for example, a specimen of SCP-2802 resembling a Hispaniolan woodpecker (Melanerpes striatus) can breed with a specimen of SCP-2802 resembling a black-rumped flameback (Dinopium benghalense) or with a non-anomalous specimen of M. striatus, but not with a non-anomalous specimen of D. benghalense. Eggs laid by participants in SCP-2802 breeding can hatch into specimens of either SCP-2802 or the non-anomalous parent species, with each egg laid having a roughly equal chance of either outcome.
Behaviorally, specimens of SCP-2802 are largely identical to the Picinae species they resemble, feeding, nesting, migrating, and breeding in identical manners. However, specimens of SCP-2802 often show hostility to their own young, neglecting to feed their hatchlings, or occasionally simply pushing them out of the nest. Examinations of hostilely treated hatchlings indicate that specimens of SCP-2802 only treat their non-anomalous offspring this way, and raise SCP-2802 hatchlings as normal.
Current observation indicates that, as of this writing, specimens of SCP-2802 comprise approximately ██ percent of the planet's woodpecker, piculet, and wryneck populations.

Two specimens of SCP-2802 resembling ivory-billed woodpeckers (Campephilus principalis). Photograph taken 4/10/1935.

Discovery: SCP-2802 was discovered in 18██, when an ivory-billed woodpecker (Campephilus principalis) that had been shot for specimen collection purposes by naturalist ████ ███████ displayed anomalous internal anatomy. All C. principalis specimens collected by Foundation agents after this initial discovery displayed the same anatomy. After several living specimens were contained by the Foundation, a concerted effort to drive the wild population of SCP-2802 to extinction was undertaken, out of fear that SCP-2802 posed a threat to natural ecosystems or to humankind.
SCP-2802 extinction efforts were believed to have succeeded, as all C. principalis sightings after the year 1948 have been unsubstantiated. SCP-2802 was classified as Neutralized until 1985, when additional Picinae species began exhibiting the same anomalous internal anatomy as the original C. principalis specimens. As no negative effects on natural ecosystems or human health could be conclusively proven to have been caused by the presence of SCP-2802, the current band-tracking program was initiated to determine the movement patterns of SCP-2802 in comparison to non-anomalous Picinae and their effects on their environments, if any.
Addendum: Incident 2802-1
On 8/14/████, a captured specimen of SCP-2802 attacked containment personnel by expelling streams of its internal acid through specialized ventricles resembling tear ducts. Three staff members suffered chemical burns, but no fatalities resulted. The SCP-2802 specimen was placed in isolated containment for testing purposes. Examinations of captive SCP-2802 specimens revealed no trace of such defensive organs.
Since Incident 2802-1, ████ specimens of SCP-2802 have possessed defensive organs of some type, with the possessive portion of the population rising to ██% within the last █ years. Containment procedures have been updated accordingly to provide proper protection to SCP-2802's possible defensive measures.

« SCP-2801 | SCP-2802 | SCP-2803 »


Item #: SCP-2803
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Area-2803 has been established around the perimeter of SCP-2803 with a public front as a military base. Satellite footage of SCP-2803 is to be expunged from Internet map data. Exploration of SCP-2803 is only to be carried out via remote drone.
Area-2803 is to be supplied with rotating armed personnel from MTF Nu-7 "Hammer Down" in the event of SCP-2803-A entering an active state. An active state can be defined as any of the following:

Negotiation breakdown
Lambda wave output of over 504 cycles per minute
Attacks on non-exploratory personnel
Mass disruption of civilian computer activity

All personal computers and internet used in a 200 km radius from Area-2803 are to be monitored for possible lambda wave influence.
In the event that SCP-2803-A enters a fully active state and military response proves insufficient, Contingency 2803-XK "Red Sun", along with subsequent media blackout and fallout protection measures, is to be implemented immediately.
Instances of SCP-2803-B are not to be disturbed in any way.
Description: SCP-2803 is an office building complex ██ km north of Rapid City, South Dakota, serving as the headquarters of the TotleighSoft corporation. Before TotleighSoft, SCP-2803 was an automobile manufacturing plant. This corporation has been linked to the creation of several anomalous software programs under containment by the Foundation, including SCP-2527, SCP-2219, and SCP-3492.
SCP-2803-A is a tumorous growth of flesh in the center of SCP-2803, estimated to have a mass of over 197 tonnes. DNA testing of tissue samples from SCP-2803-A have yielded inconclusive results. SCP-2803-A has over 7,000 thin, chitinous tendrils entwined throughout SCP-2803, which produce a crystalline mucus that permeates the facility.
Though it is not capable of speech on its own, SCP-2803-A is sapient and communicates through electronics in a broken dialect of English. SCP-2803-A states that it is the CEO of TotleighSoft and answers to the name "P. Hudson Gock".
SCP-2803-A emits a constant stream of lambda waves.1 These lambda waves are used to gain subliminal control of nearby computers for the purpose of creating new products for TotleighSoft. These products are often harmful to users or the general public.
SCP-2803-B denotes 247 humans that have been exposed to SCP-2803-A's mucus. The majority of SCP-2803-B instances were employees of the original automotive plant. Most SCP-2803-B instances are in a constant state of meditation, serving as an amplification system for SCP-2803-A's lambda waves, while others create and package hardware for TotleighSoft.2 SCP-2803-A refers to instances of SCP-2803-B as employees.
There is no known method to dampen or neutralize the lambda waves, and the only means of defense against them remains constant negotiation with SCP-2803-A. As SCP-2803-A has proven incapable of understanding human thought patterns, this has proven difficult.
Addendum - Incident 2803-Prime:
SCP-2803-A first came to its current location on 11/13/1986. At 12:08 PM, Staff at the Grosvenor Automotive Facility (currently SCP-2803) received a fax transmission from an unknown source:

NOTIC OF MERGER
Happy to report! Your compnay has being annex by TOTLEIGH software corporation. Will be comig at 1:00 for prenimilary restructure meetig. Expect new CEO (myslef), new WORK CONDISIONS, and handson ENGAGEMINT!
Yuor compliance is NOT voluntary. Complaents may be submit at apropriate time. Good that you all unerstand an agree.
Regaards,
P. Hudson Gock CEO of Totleigh Software yes

At 12:29 PM, a nearby Foundation particulate relay pickup detected a significant increase in tachyon activity in the South Dakota area, originating from an area of the Crab Nebula noted for anomalous activity.
At 12:58 PM, a loud roaring sound followed by a mild explosive shockwave was reported in Rapid City, South Dakota.
Approximately 2,000 people were killed when SCP-2803-A materialized in the center of the Grosvenor Automotive Facility, causing a significant discharge of antimatter. Survivors were converted into instances of SCP-2803-B, and containment measures began in the following days.

Interviewed: SCP-2803-A, via email
Interviewer: Dr. Lisle Naismith
<Begin Log>
Dr. Naismith: Are you aware that your products are harmful to consumers?
SCP-2803-A: It is false. Perhaps regulading goverment getting your to headd, yes. No, I am the libertrarian.
Dr. Naismith: Why do you make these games?
SCP-2803-A: Why does anyody buisness? I wood not have coming from blackest EverVoid between the nothings if it werent for AMERICAN dream.
Dr. Naismith: You came from space?
SCP-2803-A: True! Start fro nothings. Now look, in free market with humens, as if I am humens myself, have buisness and profits much, TOTLEIGHSOFT is a winnr!
Dr. Naismith: What made you want to start a software company?
SCP-2803-A: Old job was get old. Could do anything, anytiem. Instan grafication. Thrill is in journey, said i! I am missing it now, though.
Dr. Naismith: And your old job was?
SCP-2803-A: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Dr. Naismith: And what exactly were you "obliterating?"
SCP-2803-A: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Dr. Naismith: …noted.
SCP-2803-A: Should go back to teh old job, youthinks?
Dr. Naismith: No. I would honestly suggest you should stick with running a software corporation. That is the American way. You came to do the right thing. I'm 100% certain you should keep selling your software and making money. Your old job was not at all interesting or profitable, keep doing this.
SCP-2803-A: Because am start to miss it. Being humens is difficult. Cannot even [DATA EXPUNGED], you now?
Dr. Naismith: Please. I'm begging you. Keep being a software tycoon.
SCP-2803-A: Will thinks it ovir. Not so sure anymo.
<End Log>

Footnotes
1. Specialized telepathic energy, first discovered during experiments with SCP-████
2. The method of hardware export outside of Area-2803 is currently unknown.

« SCP-2802 | SCP-2803 | SCP-2804 »


Item #: SCP-2804
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: UPDATED 2021-05-05
SCP-2804 is expected to have a profound effect on normalcy over the following 55 years; SCP-2804's containment strategy is thus oriented towards preventing the public recognition of its anomalous properties and the minimization of SCP-2804's disruptive effects. The exact containment strategy will thus vary with the frequency of affected structures and the number of potential witnesses.
The Foundation must coordinate with local and state governments to ensure that no buildings are constructed in SCP-2804-B's path, either by acquiring the land in question or arranging for alternative uses. In the case of pre-existing buildings, the optimal strategy will be determined by SCP-2804's containment team.
Buildings in SCP-2804-B's path should not be demolished sooner than necessary, and should be reconstructed or replaced after it has passed. This requirement may be waived if it would require excessive budgetary expenditures.
SCP-2804-A1 through -A3 are contained at their original locations and surrounded by false buildings and barbed wire fences. Access is restricted to specially authorized personnel.
PoI-2804-1 is under Level 2 observation at all times. It will be taken into Foundation custody for testing should it become associated with any further anomalous activity.
Description: SCP-2804 is a phenomenon in which a wooden deck will instantaneously appear attached to a building. This is preceded by the appearance of red chalk graffiti reading "Where's the deck? — Fly" on the building. Eleven hours and thirteen minutes pass between the appearance of this graffiti and the materialization of the deck. Removal of the graffiti has no effect on SCP-2804.
Decks created by SCP-2804 typically match modern architectural and construction sensibilities and will not cross property lines. These decks will not exhibit anomalous properties unless the property on which a building resides is too small or irregularly shaped to contain a conventional deck. Anomalous products of SCP-2804 are designated SCP-2804-A.
SCP-2804-B is a theoretical point that moves 3.4m per day, or 1.25km per year, with a bearing roughly 34° North of East. Any building that SCP-2804-B passes through will be affected by SCP-2804. Assuming that SCP-2804-B has maintained its current speed and heading since creation, its origin can be placed at ████ Dyson Avenue in ████████, South Carolina. ████ Dyson Avenue is the home of PoI-2804-1, Floyd "Fly" Whitacre, the owner of █████████ Construction Company.
Addendum 2804-1: Projected timeline of SCP-2804-B.

Date
Event
Notes

2039-04-██
SCP-2804-B enters ██████, SC and affects up to twenty-four buildings over the next two years.
The purchase and destruction of buildings in SCP-2804-B's path has been deemed more cost-effective than amnestic administration for this timeframe.

2041-11-██
SCP-2804-B enters the Charleston metropolitan area, affecting ~100 buildings per year for the next 35 years.
Containment will likely entail some combination of mass amnesticization, preemptive destruction of buildings, and partial depopulation of Charleston via manipulation of the local economy1. SCP-2804 upgraded to Keter-class.

2076-01-██
SCP-2804-B moves into the Atlantic Ocean. No additional buildings are affected.
Containment is trivial during this timeframe. SCP-2804 downgraded to Euclid-class.

2███-06-04
SCP-2804-B approaches the Geographic North Pole.
SCP-2804-B's trajectory and activity past this point, if any, are unknown.

SCP-2804-A1.

SCP-2804-A3 in an inactive state.

Addendum 2804-2: Catalog of SCP-2804-A.
Two instances of SCP-2804-A were created prior to containment. Once the requirements for their creation were understood, a third was created via experimentation. Restricting a property in the same way multiple times does not appear to create identical anomalies.
SCP-2804-A1 [DATA EXPUNGED]
SCP-2804-A2 extends 64 meters vertically up the back of a suburban house in ████████, SC. In all respects other than its orientation, it is constructed like a conventional deck. SCP-2804-A2 is classified as "Indestructible" under standard destructibility guidelines. Any solid object that touches SCP-2804-A2 will immediately be rotated 90° with respect to the ground and then crushed against SCP-2804-A2 with a force in excess of one million Newtons. This is invariably lethal to living organisms.
SCP-2804-A3 is, in an inactive state, a number of wooden planks located on █████ Beach, SC. Individuals exiting the back door of an SCP-2804-affected apartment building in ████████, SC are transported to SCP-2804-A3's location. When approached by a live human, the planks of SCP-2804-A3 will float into the air and arrange themselves to form a staircase. When an individual climbs to the top stair of SCP-2804-A3, the planks forming lower stairs will exit formation to create more stairs above the subject. SCP-2804-A3 will return to its inactive state when any individual falls off of it.
Addendum 2804-3: Excerpt from an interview with PoI-2804-1.

Dr. Hamon: Mr. Whitacre —
PoI-2804-1: <Interrupting> You can call me Fly if you want. Don't sweat it.
Dr. Hamon: Right, then. Fly, do you remember what you were doing the evening of December 10, 20162?
PoI-2804-1: Well, that was about four months ago, and I can barely remember what I had for lunch. <Laughs> Give me a refresher, will you?
Dr. Hamon: That was a Saturday. The weather was… sunny. You stopped at a gas station at 3:14 and bought a few six-packs and two bags of tortilla chips.
PoI-2804-1: Oh, I must have had the boys over for cards. That's been a pretty regular thing since my wife died3… yeah, they'd probably show up around six, we shoot the shit for a few hours, Don loses whatever he came with, and a few of us are drunk by the end of the night.
Dr. Hamon: I see. Sorry for your loss. Does anything about that night stand out to you at all?
PoI-2804-1: Whitey and Clarence got into it. Clarence smacked Whitey right across the face. Damn near broke his jaw, too. Clarence isn't invited to poker night any more.
Dr. Hamon: Right. Anything else?
PoI-2804-1: Well… hm. I think on the way home from dropping off Whitey, I passed the Wilkinson place4 and wrote something on their garage door. In chalk, you know. It'd wash away. That's about all I can think of.
Dr. Hamon: Hm. And I can see from this document here that you did some construction work for the Wilkinsons back in 2004, correct?
PoI-2804-1: <Nods> That's how I know them. That was my first project since I took over the business, actually.
Dr. Hamon: Were you aware that they removed the deck you installed back in May?
PoI-2804-1: Pardon?
Dr. Hamon: The Wilkinsons got rid of their deck and built a patio instead.
PoI-2804-1: I'm… not sure I understand… <Frowns>
Dr. Hamon: What don't you understand?
PoI-2804-1: Well it's like — it's — all of those words make sense on their own, you know? Most of them, at least. But put together it's just… <Trails off>
Dr. Hamon: What words don't you understand?
PoI-2804-1: Well, 'deck', for one. I mean, I know what it is as in decking someone <Mimes punching with left hand>, or a deck of cards, but I don't see how either of those would apply.
Dr. Hamon: You're not familiar with the concept of a deck as an outdoor platform, connected to a house, and traditionally made of wood or wood-like materials? You've overseen the construction of many decks. Is there some other word you use for them?
<PoI-2804-1 looks blankly at Dr. Hamon for twenty seconds.>
Dr. Hamon: … interesting. Well, whatever you built for the Wilkinsons, they removed it. Did you know about that?
PoI-2804-1: I'm sorry, Dr. Hamon, I just can't get a grip on what you're saying. Maybe I'm having a stroke?
Dr. Hamon: You're not having a stroke, don't worry. <Writes on notepad for forty-five seconds.> Hypothetically, if someone wanted to build an addition to their house, but one of your projects was in the way, what would they have to do?
PoI-2804-1: Well, that's… just… it's certainly a pickle, isn't it? <Laughs> I imagine they'd have to give up on their changes.
Dr. Hamon: I see… and suppose a natural disaster of some sort were to completely decimate someone's house, like absolutely obliterate it and everything in a five-mile radius. What would happen to the additions you made?
PoI-2804-1: Why would anything happen to them?

Footnotes
1. Pending input from the Ethics Committee.
2. The night before SCP-2804 appeared.
3. Mrs. Whitaker died on September 22, 2016, in a car accident.
4. The first building affected by SCP-2804, located 0.6 kilometers away from PoI-2804-1's residence.

« SCP-2803 | SCP-2804 | SCP-2805 »


SCP-2805

Item #: SCP-2805
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2805 is to be contained within a cryonic containment unit located within Site-77. No personnel are permitted to directly view SCP-2805, and must do all observation through closed circuit cameras. Any Foundation employees who have worked on or around SCP-2805 and subsequently leave employment of the Foundation are to be monitored. Any former personnel who worked with SCP-2805 are to be prevented from taking up employment with The Walt Disney Company.
Description: SCP-2805 is the severed head of American industrialist Walt Disney, held in suspended animation within a cryonic freezer. Attached to the freezer are two rotary telephones, circa 1966. Analysis of the cryonic device has been hampered by the fragility of the device and the effect SCP-2805 has on personnel who speak to it. On the base of the cryonic device, the words "Siberian Solutions from the Oneiroi Collective"1 have been embossed.
When a human subject is able to physically view SCP-2805, they will receive a phone call within 24 hours.2 The individual making the call claims to be Walt Disney, who will talk to the subject at length about their hopes for the future, their desires, and the "Epcot" portion of the Walt Disney World theme park. Digital analysis has confirmed that the voice on the other end of the line sounds identical to recordings of Walt Disney's voice circa 1965. Phone calls were traced to various locations owned by the Disney corporation.
Occasionally, during these calls, unidentified individuals can be heard demanding to be allowed to speak to the subject. SCP-2805 will usually ignore them, but on occasion it has asked the subject to wait. During these times, a sound described by subjects as "frozen insects hitting glass" can be heard, before SCP-2805 resumes conversation, apologizing for delays from "unimaginative souls".
SCP-2805 was discovered on 09/18/1967, when several secretaries for executives within the Disney corporation reported hearing calls from SCP-2805. After an executive member of the board of directors was called, he began to spend significant amounts of time with the original "Epcot" plans, and eventually began to petition strongly for fashioning the "Epcot" park as an industrial center, similar to how Walt Disney had designed it. Foundation personnel intervened once the phenomenon was recognized as legitimate, and SCP-2805 was discovered within a hid[REDACTED]ribbean. It was contained on 02/16/1968, and classified as Euclid.
On 04/25/1968, SCP-2805 began calling Foundation personnel.
Addendum: Interview log 2805-A

Interviewed: SCP-2805
Interviewer: Agent Smith
Foreword: SCP-2805 called Agent Smith while the latter was involved in interviewing SCP-███. Familiar with SCP-2805's documentation, Agent Smith carried out an impromptu interview with SCP-2805.
<Begin Log>Agent Smith: Yes, can I, uh, ask who this is?Agent Smith: No, no, uh, please (sound of papers shuffling) please continue.Agent Smith: I've got all the time in the world, sir.Agent Smith: Who?Agent Smith: Couldn't do what, exactly?Agent Smith: I'm, uh, sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do for you?Agent Smith: Me?Agent Smith Yes… but I, uh, don't think you're coming to the right guy.Agent Smith: How do you figure?Agent Smith: I don't think-Agent Smith: I… don't know.<End Log>

Footnotes
1. Believed to be connected to SCP-2028 and SCP-1498
2. SCP-2805 does not exhibit any changes in status during this time

« SCP-2804 | SCP-2805 | SCP-2806 »