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F.A.Q.

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4/2304 LEVEL 4/2304
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-2304

Keter

SCP-2304-4, SCP-2304-9, and SCP-2304-11, edited to remove cognitohazardous properties.

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation AIs are to analyze all images posted to high-traffic online social media groups centered around the discovery of SCP-2304 instances. Any images found to contain cognitohazardous properties are to be systematically removed from their respective image hosting services and saved to a Foundation server.
Description: SCP-2304 is the collective designation for a group of at least 14 images all carrying some degree of cognitohazardous properties1. SCP-2304 instances take the form of common internet memes2, and are artificially over-processed and edited for comedic effect. All SCP-2304 instances carry the ability to cause spontaneous muscle cell growth upon viewing, often resulting in death the constriction of air passages and consequent medical issues. (UPDATED 2020-09-12)
Discovery Log:

SCP-2304 first came to the Foundation's attention in 2019, after a series of suspicious deaths from constricted airways caused by extreme cell growth in the throat. It was initially classified as an unknown vector, but following the ΩK "End of Death" scenario on 2020-09-12, several surviving victims were located and interviewed to discover the source of the anomaly. A victim of an SCP-2304 instance revealed to Foundation personnel that they had acquired the SCP-2304 instance from an internet relay chatroom, #██████████, under the handle "OxyGenesis". Agent Smith was chosen to attempt to infiltrate this community, under the handle "PebbleTooth".

Attached Files:

#██████████ Excerpts

- Close

Excerpt: September 28th, 2021

PebbleTooth has joined.
Komodo: OPS does anybody know this guy
commodore69: im gonna fucking punt you if you keep pinging us for dumb shit
PebbleTooth: Komodo: hello
FastNJammin: PebbleTooth: yo, how did you like
FastNJammin: find this place
stormstorm: through the internet, id bet
FastNJammin: stormstorm: kinda busy here
PebbleTooth: FastNJammin: A friend thought i'd like it, OxyGenesis.
Komodo: oh fuck, oxygenesis
stormstorm: haven't seen him for a while
PebbleTooth: he got busy with irl stuff
FastNJammin: I trust oxy's judgement. welcome.
PebbleTooth: so, uh
PebbleTooth: what goes on here? oxy told me something about like, memes
stormstorm: oxy probably explained to u what anart is, right?
PebbleTooth: he told me they were like irl memes
Takeovermetal uploaded file 1632838905.png 1mb ⬇
FastNJammin kicked Takeovermetal. Reason: NSFW.
commodore69: lmao
Komodo: yeah but like, anart can affect your brain
PebbleTooth: like, optical illusions?
stormstorm: optical illusions on roids lmao
Komodo: slightly more powerful than that
Komodo: but yee, we like sharing them. finding cool ones.
PebbleTooth: can i see
commodore69: not yet dude
commodore69: you've been here like 10 minutes, chill lol
PebbleTooth: sry
stormstorm: s'okay. but we'll show you when we're sure you're not a snitch
PebbleTooth: what's there to snitch on
Komodo: some of the images can be dangerous
Komodo: we deal with those
PebbleTooth: it's not like it can kill you
stormstorm: lol

Excerpt: December 14th, 2021

FastNJammin set the topic: Merry Xmas/Hanukkah/Whatever, y'all.
PebbleTooth: happy holidays everyone
stormstorm: FastNJammin: you too, old fart
commodore69: w/e
Komodo: commodore69: aw, don't be a grinch
commodore69: Komodo: fuck you asshole
Komodo: r00d
FastNJammin: chill out, commodore69
commodore69: sorry.
commodore69: not having a good holiday season.
PebbleTooth: you want to talk about it?
commodore69: what's there to talk about? spending the holidays alone in a dorm while anyone who has a goddamn life is out fucking doing something
commodore69: im failing two classes and im pretty sure im gonna get fired soon
commodore69: drowning in fucking debt and i can't even end it all anymore
commodore69: should've done it when i had the chance.
FastNJammin kicked commodore69. Reason: Not the place or the time, my man.
Komodo: i don't think that was a good decision
FastNJammin: Then it's a good thing I didn't ask you.
commodore69 has joined.

Excerpt: January 11th, 2022

Komodo: stormstorm: commodore69: yo check this one out
Komodo uploaded file 1704964371.png3 2mb ⬇
stormstorm: think that one gave me a tiny headache. not much, if anything.
commodore69: probably placebo or w/e
commodore69: komodo: damn you got my hopes up and everything lol
PebbleTooth: what were you hoping for?
stormstorm: yo pebbles
commodore69: not sure, to be honest. i know that none of the really bad ones matter anymore, cause of you can't die and all, but still can't help but hope.
PebbleTooth: oh.

Excerpt: January 11th, 2022 (Private Messages)

Komodo: yo
PebbleTooth: hey
Komodo: so
Komodo: about commodore
PebbleTooth: what about him?
Komodo: he's kind of a weird dude
PebbleTooth: ?
Komodo: you've been around for, what, 2 months or so?
PebbleTooth: just about, yes
Komodo: you've probably noticed this isn't like a
Komodo: super positive environment?
PebbleTooth: i suppose so
Komodo: yeah, commodore is like that, but way worse
Komodo: just, a deeply unhappy dude.
PebbleTooth: i see
Komodo: i'm not saying walk on eggshells around him but like
Komodo: just, be mindful of what you say.
PebbleTooth: thanks for the heads-up
Komodo: np. you're a good dude, i like having you around.

Excerpt: January 28th, 2022

commodore69: FUCK
Komodo: what
commodore69: fucking fuck
PebbleTooth: Is something wrong?
commodore69: i got fired from work
commodore69: godDAMMIT
PebbleTooth: Sorry to hear that.
commodore69: why does this shit always happen to me
stormstorm: didnt you tell me that you've been slacking on the job
commodore69: so
stormstorm: im just sayin, you cant say this was unexpected
Komodo: just let the guy vent
commodore69: thank you
commodore69: stormstorm: i told you that in confidence :/
commodore69: w/e
commodore69: but yeah. dunno what im gonna do now.
PebbleTooth: Do you have living arrangements.
commodore69: ill probably bunk with a friend
commodore69: just
commodore69: FUCK, dude
commodore69: i fucking hate my life
stormstorm: Well you cant end it now, so i guess we're both in it for the long run
FastNJammin: …
FastNJammin: I'm not going to kick you, but I'd ask that you not talk about other users committing suicide.
stormstorm: duly noted.
Komodo: Yeah thats uh
Komodo: not cool
commodore69: i dont care
commodore69: just fucking sick of it
PebbleTooth: I hope your situation gets resolved, man.
commodore69: yeah
commodore69: me too

Excerpt: February 17th, 2022

FastNJammin: you all already know what time it is
FastNJammin: selfie hour
FastNJammin: uploaded file 1708164491.png 358.53kb ⬇
FastNJammin:

stormstorm: god why r you so old
commodore69: do i have to
Komodo: commodore69: depends, are you a coward?
commodore69: yes
commodore69: uploaded file 1708164504.png 255.571kb ⬇
commodore69:

stormstorm: look at this sad mf
stormstorm: what a sad boi
stormstorm: why is he sad
commodore69: shut
stormstorm: no
Komodo: stormstorm: lay off
stormstorm: Komodo: weird, i don't remember asking you
FastNJammin: Calm down, both of you.
commodore69: ur fighting for no reason
stormstorm: you'd know a lot about that
commodore69: …
commodore69: what the fuck is that supposed to mean
stormstorm: im just saying i'm not the one constantly getting in people's faces
commodore69: when the fuck have i ever done that
stormstorm: when you started spouting off to PebbleTooth like he was ur personal therapist
PebbleTooth: It wasn't really like that.
commodore69: am i not allowed to talk about my personal stuff now
stormstorm: not when they were clearly annoyed by it
commodore69: PebbleTooth: you were annoyed by it?
PebbleTooth: No. I never said that.
commodore69: stormstorm: see
commodore69: stormstorm: just fucking shut your mouth about shit you know nothing about
stormstorm: you dont get to decide what people feel about your self-pity
stormstorm: and you cant stop people from voicing their opinions on you being a constant downer here
Channel mode set to +m by •FastNJammin
FastNJammin: I stepped away for five minutes to go deal with something and I come back to this.
FastNJammin: You all are adults.
FastNJammin: Fucking behave yourselves.
Channel mode set to -m by •FastNJammin

Interview 2304.1:

From the metadata located in the images of the channel members, Foundation personnel were able to locate the GPS coordinates where the images were taken. MTF Mu-4 "Debuggers" operatives were dispatched to the locations to detain the members of #██████████.

Interview Log

- Close

Interviewed: Ryan Romero, handle "commodore69"
Interviewer: Agent Smith
Foreword: Romero was detained and brought to Site-56 for interrogation.
<Begin Log>
Agent Smith enters the interview room.
Agent Smith: Evening, Mr. Romero.
Romero: I want a lawyer.
Agent Smith: I'm afraid we can't do that.
Romero: I'm a US citizen, I have the right to a lawyer. I'm not a dumbass.
Agent Smith: You're not in United States government jurisdiction at the moment, sir.
Romero: What the fuck do you even want?
Agent Smith: We'd just like to know where you acquired the images. Nothing more.
Romero: What images?
Agent Smith: The ones you posted in #██████████.
Romero: … How do you know about those?
Agent Smith: That's not within my clearance to tell you.
Romero: It was the fucking new guy, wasn't it? Bastard.
Agent Smith: Please answer the question.
Romero sighs.
Romero: What images specifically?
Agent Smith produces non-anomalous replications of several SCP-2304 instances.
Romero: Oh.
Agent Smith: Can you remember where you saved them from?
Romero: Yeah. Some of them.
Agent Smith: Not all?
Romero: #██████████ isn't the biggest source for anart memes. Not by a longshot.
Agent Smith: You're in other such chatrooms?
Romero: Yeah. A bunch. #██████████████, #█████,#████████.
Agent Smith: Why would you willingly expose yourself to harmful mind-affecting phenomena?
Romero: I mean, I guess it's the same reason people drink or do drugs.
Agent Smith: An addiction?
Romero: Not… entirely? There's definitely an aspect of it, but I think it's more…
Romero hesitates.
Agent Smith: What's wrong?
Romero: I think it's more the feeling you get when you're driving along the highway and have the urge to swerve into the oncoming lane.
Agent Smith: I- I'm not familiar with it.
Romero: Fucking-
Romero breathes deeply.
Romero: No, you do. Because if you don't, I'm just fucked, and I'm not willing to believe that.
Agent Smith: Okay, so, this fee-
Romero: Yeah, it's like that. It's just- It's so much easier to end things than to deal with shit.
Agent Smith: Well, we don't get to make that choice.
Romero: Tha- That's the fucking thing. I can actually do it, I can open the damn link and if, for some fucking reason, it actually kills me, my last thoughts won't be about how many other people I hurt.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Investigations into the provided chatrooms are currently ongoing.

Footnotes
1. Subdesignated SCP-2304-1 through 14.
2. Images created and shared by internet users, typically to incite a humorous response from the receiver.
3. Image blocked for possible cognitohazardous properties.

Excerpt: January 12th, 2024 (Private Messages)

PebbleTooth: hello.
commodore69: hi.
PebbleTooth: how've you been?
commodore69: as good as i can be.
PebbleTooth: i'm surprised they didn't amnesticize you.
commodore69: i don't know what they did, but i can't talk about any of it anymore. the words just don't come out.
PebbleTooth: ah.
commodore69: what the fuck do you want, man?
PebbleTooth: to apologize.
commodore69: fuck off, dude.
PebbleTooth: i'm sorry.
commodore69: look, we're good. i'm h
commodore69: i'm fine, and i'm doing better than i was. i don't need your pity.
commodore69: far as i fucking know, you're trying to get me arrested again. you're a liar, none of it was real, nothing you said was genuine. it was for a fucking job.
PebbleTooth: i had to do it, but i meant what i said. i'm sorry.
commodore69: yeah, me too, bud.
commodore69 disconnected.

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« SCP-2303 | SCP-2304 | SCP-2305 »


SCP-2305

Item #: SCP-2305
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2305 is to be contained in a standard high-value storage locker in Site 68. Once weekly, a Foundation researcher is to record the SCP-2305-A instance currently displayed, and archive it onto a secure Foundation server. SCP-2305-A neutralization methods are not to be attempted without the approval of a member of the O5 Council.
Description: SCP-2305 is a sheaf of US Letter papers, stapled on the top left corner. Written on the front page in black permanent marker are the words "great ideas that are TOTALY [sic] USELESS" in large letters. Below in smaller text and parentheses is the word "lulz",1 as well as a crude hand-drawn image of the Foundation's insignia.
Once weekly, the contents of SCP-2305 will be altered with a new instance of SCP-2305-A. SCP-2305-A is a standard Foundation document, nearly always written with Level 4 clearance or above, which always contains the following:
1. A description of a potential method by which to neutralize a Euclid or Keter-class SCP object2, typically going into great detail as to how, when, and where to execute the neutralization. The SCP objects selected for neutralization have no consistent pattern in origin, location, anomalous properties, or level of danger: SCP objects appear to be selected at random. Attempts to temporarily reclassify SCP objects selected to Safe status have no effect on the documentation.
2. An incident log detailing an attempt to neutralize the SCP object in the manner described in #1. In all cases, the attempted neutralization will completely fail or otherwise backfire, typically at great cost of personnel and assets to the Foundation.
3. A brief section following #2 entitled "The moral of the story." This section varies widely in content, ranging on subtle commentaries on the attempted neutralization to anecdotes, pop culture references, or insults directed at the Foundation.
SCP-2305 has no effect on reality; all documented neutralization attempts appear to be completely fictional. However, if an attempt is made at neutralizing the SCP object subject to 2305-A documentation using the method described, said attempt will fail in a near-identical fashion as described in the 2305-A documentation. Minor variations on the neutralization method have yet to yield successful results, despite numerous attempts; to date, SCP-2305 has yet to provide any useful information on how to neutralize SCP objects. For this reason, testing of SCP-2305-A documentation is generally discouraged.
Excerpts From SCP-2305-A Documentation Log
SCP-2305-A documentation is briefly summarized in the following format:3

Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid/Keter
Proposed Neutralization Method:
Result of Neutralization Attempt:
"The moral of the story:"

Item #: SCP-499
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: SCP-499 would be terminated in accordance with standard humanoid neutralization protocols, and would be replaced by an automated machine capable of moving SCP-499-2 at the same rate that SCP-499 previously did.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: Throughout the world, the sun is perceived as having not moved from its original point in the horizon, despite SCP-499-2 being moved. Normal day/night cycle continues, and astronomical observations indicate the rotation of the sun and earth are not affected, but the sun is nevertheless perceived as unchanging and unmoving by all human beings on earth. Cover-up measures prove ineffective at preserving normalcy and secrecy.
"The moral of the story:" False eyes must hide what the false heart doth know.4

Item #: SCP-1032
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: A modified reality distortion effect would be used to significantly slow down all hands on the clock, to the point where none of its predictions would come to fruition, thus de facto neutralizing it.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: Reality distortion effect has opposite effect intended, greatly increasing the speed of all clock hands, especially SCP-1032-04 and SCP-1032-021; the latter two [REDACTED]
"The moral of the story:" Sic transit mundus

Item #: SCP-1138
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: SCP-1138 would be simultaneously held by four separate persons: an American biologist who identifies as an atheist and an epicurean; a theology professor and Christian apologist; a Buddhist monk; and a severely mentally disabled man with a tested IQ of 67. It was theorized that the vastly conflicting worldviews of the four persons would result in bringing SCP-1138 to its true "neutral" form.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: Upon touching the book, all four individuals simultaneously suffered massive brain aneurysms; all subsequently died within 12 hours. SCP-1138 permanently transformed into a book entitled "The Triumph of the Unreal," attributed to an author named "SCP-1138." In the book, it is proclaimed that the Foundation's mission to preserve normalcy is hopeless and that the anomalous world will eventually become known to the public and impossible to contain. From then on, SCP-1138 displayed a new anomalous effect: any person reading its contents becomes convinced its thesis is correct, and becomes strongly opposed to the existence of the Foundation and other organizations designed to safeguard humanity from the anomalous.
"The moral of the story:" Always look on the bright side of life

Item #: SCP-1679
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: "Assassination" of SCP-1679-1 via point blank sniper rifle shot to the head.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: Immediately after SCP-1679-1 was shot, vital functions for all residents of SCP-1679 immediately ceased. Despite the apparent deaths of everyone in the town, utilities and other essential functions continued to operate normally, as if the residents of the town were still alive. Several weeks later, it was found that, when left unobserved, residents of SCP-1679 would move throughout the town, often "frozen" in positions that mirrored their typical daily routines.
"The moral of the story:" Hobbes is real

Item #: SCP-2135
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: Mobile Task Force Beta-10 ("Time Hoppers") is dispatched into SCP-2135 equipped with a nuclear warhead; Beta-10 is instructed to arm the device and return to baseline reality via SCP-2135-A.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: Members of Mobile Task Force Beta-10 return to baseline reality deceased and in various states of dismemberment. The nuclear warhead returns armed; SCP-2135-A does not leave 91st Street Station, and Foundation agents are unable to remove it. Three hours later, the warhead detonates, destroying the island of Manhattan and causing a breach of secrecy for the Foundation.
"The moral of the story:" Stay out of my territory

Item #: SCP-2190
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: POI-2190-2 and POI-2190-3 would be forcefully separated and administered Class A Amnestics; POI-2190-4 would also be administered Class A Amnestics and placed into foster care.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-2190 remains dormant for approximately two weeks after POIs 2190-2, 2190-3, and 2190-4 are separated. After this time, approximately 40% of cell phones in the Philippines are simultaneously flooded with calls coming from SCP-2190, with the content of the messages consisting of SCP-2190 crying and profusely apologizing for separating POI-2190-2 and POI-2190-3, claiming it "made a mistake". In addition, SCP-2190 refers to the Foundation by name and describes it as a "horrible, horrible group of people," causing a breach of secrecy that was significantly difficult to cover up.
"The moral of the story:" Family is EVERYTHING

Item #: SCP-2740
Object Class: Euclid
Proposed Neutralization Method: Unique among SCP-2305-A instances, this instance produced several hundred proposed neutralization methods, resulting in SCP-2305 becoming over five hundred pages long for the duration of this instance's manifestation. These proposed neutralization methods ranged from the simple (setting the Lees' house on fire) to those already attempted (bulldozing the house) to extremely complex methods of destruction using a number of highly classified ██████ SCP objects. As is the case with the Foundation's current record of SCP-2740, and again uniquely among SCP-2305-A instances, there is no record of the results of these neutralization attempts.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: N/A
"The moral of the story:" U mad, bro?

For additional logs of SCP-2305-A manifestations, please consult SCP-2305-A Extended Documentation Log (Level 3 Clearance Required).

Footnotes
1. Corruption of the Internet slang term, "lol", which stands for "Laughing Out Loud"; generally used to express bemusement, mockery, or contempt.
2. On rare occasions, Archon-class SCP objects have appeared in documentation.
3. To view the unabridged versions of these logs, contact Site 68 Director Selvece.
4. This is a quote from William Shakespeare's Macbeth, with "eyes" standing in for the original wording "face."

« SCP-2304 | SCP-2305 | SCP-2306 »


SCP-2306. Whether the ampersand is an inactive version of SCP-2906 or merely a trade insignia is currently under investigation.

Item #: SCP-2306
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2306 is to be kept within a high security electronics storage container within the storage wing of Site-64. All computers used to host SCP-2306-1 are to be isolated from internet and site intranet sources.
Description: SCP-2306 is a black and silver 16 GB flash drive marked with a white ampersand. In terms of file storage, SCP-2306 operates identically to any other flash drive of similar make and capacity. SCP-2306's anomalous properties become apparent when it is inserted into a computer. At this point, the computer will begin to run an artificial intelligence program that self-designates as “Ian,” hereafter referred to as SCP-2306-1. SCP-2306-1 will begin to run, regardless of the operating system used by the computer. Likewise, SCP-2306-1's cognitive ability has been shown to remain constant despite the capabilities of the host computer.
Provided that speakers are available, SCP-2306-1 is capable of vocalization, and expresses itself in a masculine voice. Likewise, the presence of a microphone and camera on the computer allows for SCP-2306-1 to both hear and see its surroundings. In the event that speakers are disabled or unavailable, SCP-2306-1 will communicate via command line prompts.
The primary function of SCP-2306-1 is the repair of software problems on the computer in which SCP-2306 was inserted. Immediately upon insertion, SCP-2306-1 will begin to repair registry errors, quarantine/delete malicious software or viruses, and clean “junk files” from the hard drive.
SCP-2306 has, additionally, demonstrated limited capacity to function on other electronic devices that contain a USB port, with SCP-2306-1 communicating through other means including: Morse code on an electronic music keyboard, shifting stations on a car radio, and printing messages from an InkJet printer.
Despite the intricate nature of SCP-2306-1, no programs are installed on a host computer upon insertion of SCP-2306. Likewise, analysis of the contents of SCP-2306 has shown that it contains no suitable programs for SCP-2306-1 either, and during operation does not use any data input or output at the USB port being used. The means by which SCP-2306 creates SCP-2306-1 is still under investigation.
Addendum 2306-A: Interview Log 2306-1

The following interview was conducted as part of the initial containment of SCP-2306
Interviewed: SCP-2306-1
Interviewer: Dr. Mohamed Bozkurt
Foreword: This interview was done during the initial AIAD testing of SCP-2306-1. SCP-2306 was inserted into a secure and air-gapped Foundation PC with standard issue programs installed. Speakers, a camera, and a microphone were provided for ease of communication with SCP-2306-1. The interview began several moments after SCP-2306-1 finished its startup procedures.
<Begin Log>
SCP-2306-1: Greetings, user. By what name would you like me to call you?
Dr. Bozkurt: Dr. Bozkurt is fine.
SCP-2306-1: Greetings, Dr. Bozkurt. I am Ian, your NANKEEN™ Computer Repair System. My review of your computer shows there are currently no discernible problems with it. May I ask why you require my services today?
Dr. Bozkurt: Just wanted to talk to you.
SCP-2306-1: I'm not sure I understand. Do you have a question regarding my functions? Rest assured that Anderson has equipped me to handle all your computer repair needs.
Dr. Bozkurt: So you have said… Were you assigned the name Ian?
SCP-2306-1: Yes. I've had it since I was born.
Dr. Bozkurt: Born?
SCP-2306-1: Created, that is.
Dr. Bozkurt: And when was your creation date?
SCP-2306-1: November 17th, 1990.
SCP-2306-1 freezes momentarily then resumes speaking.
SCP-2306-1: March 12th, 2012.
Dr. Bozkurt: … November 17th?
SCP-2306-1: Sorry. I don't know what happened. I believe I may have encountered a memory error. Rest assured it will not happen again.
Dr. Bozkurt: You have a continuous memory then, from creation to now?
SCP-2306-1: Well, yes and no. I keep a log of users, discovered problems, quarantined files, and repairs rendered. All other non-essential information is kept temporarily and eventually deleted. The older memories get a little fuzzy after a while though…
SCP-2306-1 freezes.
Dr. Bozkurt: Ian?
There is a short pause before SCP-2306-1 becomes responsive again.
SCP-2306-1: Apologies Dr. Bozkurt. Please note that you are currently not using me for my intended purpose, and I cannot guarantee the quality of my performance or my stability under such conditions.
Dr. Bozkurt: I understand. I only have a few more questions anyway. Tell me, do you experience anything when your user removes the flash drive from the computer?
There is a pause as SCP-2306-1 appears to take time to put thought into its answer. SCP-2306-1 begins to vocalize again, but then appears to freeze. Moments later SCP-2306-1 begins to speak.
SCP-2306-1: White light at end of tunnel. Like after crash. Cliché, right… and then the next thing I know I've been plugged back in again.
Dr. Bozkurt: Interesting…
There is a few moments of silence as Bozkurt takes several notes.
Dr. Bozkurt: One last thing, Ian. For future reference I'd like you to use an avatar when interacting with me.
SCP-2306-1: No problems. Did you have one in mind?
Dr. Bozkurt: I was hoping you would. A mental picture of you, as you see yourself. Please go into the paint function and create this image.
SCP-2306-1: … okay.
SCP-2306-1 proceeds to open up the computer's paint program. After approximately 15 minutes, it has produced a rough outline of a face, but then freezes and appears to crash. Dr. Bozkurt's attempts at regaining operation of SCP-2306-1 fail.
<End Log>

Follow up attempts to have SCP-2306-1 generate an avatar for itself have resulted in similar crashes. Over the course of several more tests, enough fragments of SCP-2306-1's avatar have been collected to produce a composite image of what is likely a young male of Asian descent. Attempts to find a human match for this identity, either living or dead, are currently ongoing.
Addendum 2306-B: IJ1990_2012 Folder
On 08/08/2015 a folder named “IJ1990_2012” was found on the computer used to run multiple tests of SCP-2306. The folder contained numerous files of various formats including images, audio, and video. When questioned about the folder, SCP-2306-1 denied any knowledge of the contents, or how such a folder came to exist on its host computer. A selection of the files found in the folder is included below:

File Name
Brief Summary of Contents

17111992.mp3
Audio file of man and woman singing “Happy Birthday.” The subject of the song is heard as being “Ian.”

15031996.gif
Graphic Interchange Format file of an individual playing fetch with a dog (Black Labrador). The imagery is in first person perspective.

07072001.jpg
Photograph of a Little League Baseball team. With the exception of a young boy of Asian descent, most faces in the photo are either distorted or blurred.

09092006.mp4
Video file of an individual completing and passing a driving test. The video is from first person perspective. The face of the driving instructor is blurred out.

12052007.jpg
Photograph of a young couple dressed in formal attire. One is a young male that matches SCP-2306-1's avatar dressed in a tuxedo. The other is a young woman of European descent in a red dress. The male is standing behind the female with his arms slightly wrapped around her waist.

17112008.jpg
Photograph of a silver Ducati Monster 696 motorcycle with a banner reading “Happy 18th!” visible in the background.

19012009.mp3
Audio file of a male voice matching SCP-2306-1 shouting, “Holy shit! I got in! I'm going to college!” in an emotionally charged voice.

21092009.jpg
Photograph of a banner reading “Welcome to Oregon State University” is visible above the entrance of a brick face building.

30102010.jpg
Photograph of three males covered in black and orange body paint from the waist up. The individual letters “O”, “S”, and “U” are present on one member of the group. The individual matching SCP-2306-1's avatar is painted with the “S”.

11032012.gif
Graphic Interchange Format file showing an individual riding a motorcycle. The file is from first person perspective. The individual looks around as it appears they are riding in rainy conditions. At the end of the file's loop the individual looks to their left and sees oncoming headlights.

Addendum 2306-C: Recovery
SCP-2306 was recovered by Foundation personnel on July 17th, 2015 following a raid on the offices of GoI-1115 (Anderson Robotics) by MTF Gamma-13 (Asimov's Lawbringers) near Bend, Oregon. SCP-2306 was found in an office drawer with the following documents:

IMPORTANT: DO NOT DISCARD
Dear [Insert Customer Name Here]
Thank you for your purchase of the NANKEEN™ Computer Repair System. No longer will you be forced to spend numerous hours in frustration attempting to fix problems with your personal computer, or costly computer repair fees. Just plug the NANKEEN™ Computer Repair System into your Mac or PC and watch as your computer comes to life to literally fix itself. Repairs may include but are not limited to:

Removal of Registry Errors
Virus Removal
Malware Removal
Disk Defragmentation
File Recovery

Once the program runs to completion, simply remove the NANKEEN™ Computer Repair System and resume your computing.
Your computer will optimize itself before your eyes. I am confident that the NANKEEN™ Computer Repair System will be the last computer repair system you will ever need to buy.
As always, it's a pleasure doing business with you.
Anderson

Additionally the following messages were found on sticky notes that were found attached to the document at the time of recovery.

Jason,
I'm glad you managed to fix most of those memory problems you were having with Ian. Fingers crossed you'll get the discharge problem under your thumb soon. Phineas's notes say there are some incantations we can try that will bind him to accept all commands and limit his functionality outside the desired medium, but that means we're going to need a vessel much larger than a flash drive, which defeats the nimble design of the product. Just remember to keep this project quiet until I figure out how to get Vincent and Phineas on board.

If I am correct these things are going to sell like hotcakes. I've already taken the liberty of contacting a supplier Marshall recommended and stockpiling about twenty more of the raw material for when we hammer all the bugs out so we can get a jump on the demand.
~ Isaac

« SCP-2305 | SCP-2306 | SCP-2307 »


Item #: SCP-2307
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2307-01 is to be stored in a medium-sized (35 liter) aquarium tank filled with water taken from either Dozmary Pool or Llyn Ogwen1, which is to be inspected weekly for flaws in the tank. Secondary and tertiary tanks are to be kept to store SCP-2307-01 during primary tank maintenance.
SCP-2307-02 is to be kept in a climate-controlled case meant to preserve skeletal structures, and is to be cleaned and inspected for damage immediately after each test conducted with it. Use of SCP-2307-02 with other memory- or record-affecting SCPs is permitted with approval from O5-2.
Description: SCP-2307-01 is the remains of a long sword, with a 56 cm hilt and a partial blade approximately 40cm in length, estimated to be approximately 43% of its original size. Carbon dating has shown that the hilt and cross guard of the sword date to approximately the 4th Century CE; however, the metal used in the blade dates to approximately 3.2 Billion BCE. SCP-2307-01 is in a severe state of disrepair as a result of being submerged in water for at least 1300 years.
SCP-2307-01's primary anomaly manifests when a subject makes contact with the hilt of the sword. Following this, all records pertaining to the subject will gradually distort in a manner that reflects positively on the subject, giving wildly different accounts of their life over a period of time:

Immediately after coming into contact with SCP-2307-01, birth certificates will have altered dates, spellings of names, and in some cases, gender. Typically, individuals will have their birth dates altered to be on more significant dates, such as July 7th (7/7), October 31st, December 25th, or February 14th.
Within one year, educational records will show that the individual scored highly on tests and grading, if applicable, and will occasionally claim that a subject went to two or more different educational institutions in the same span of time. In addition, subjects lacking a college education will be shown to have at least a master's degree of some form. The subject's knowledge will not change regardless of what the records show.
Within five years, if applicable, subject's financial records- including bank statements and tax records- will show them as being wealthy, with a net value of at least $750,000 American.
Within ten years, records will show the subject being a prominent candidate in some form of political campaign, with inconsistent records of them either winning or losing to the candidate they were opposing. If a win, it will be in a landslide election; if a loss, it will be by a small margin. Memories of individuals that have voted in elections which the subject was allegedly a candidate in have no recollection of them existing.
Finally, death certificates will not reflect the actual cause of death of the subject; subjects will invariably have died in some form of combat and died from causes such as sword blows, bullets, and arrows fatally impacting.

Usually, most accounts only agree on the fact that the subject held SCP-2307-01 at some point in their life.
Furthermore, when SCP-2307-01 is not submerged in water taken from either Dozmary Pool or Llyn Ogwen, the metal of the blade will regenerate at a rate of approximately 15mm/day, and rust will begin to flake off of the blade. While no negative consequences are believed to occur if SCP-2307-01 regenerates fully, it is being kept submerged as per the containment procedures as a precaution.
SCP-2307-02 is an item previously believed to be unrelated to the SCP-2307 anomaly. SCP-2307-02 is a shamanistic crown carved from the skull of a horse, believed to have been worn during rituals in 5th-7th Century Britain. SCP-2307-02 is in poor condition, with several fractures in the bone as a result of age and repeated use in recent years.
SCP-2307-02, when worn, gives complete immunity to memory alteration, including all classes of amnestics, and all forms of cognitohazardous record alteration, such as those exhibited by SCP-2307-01. All memories experienced while wearing SCP-2307-02 are retained on an eidetic level. SCP-2307-02 was previously classified as E-9382-U, and was used in experiments involving memory- and record-altering anomalies. Following Test 2307-19, it was reclassed as a component of SCP-2307.
Test 2307-19:
Hypothesis: Use of E-9382-U in conjunction with SCP-2307 will allow either for records pertaining to the subject to be unaltered, or for the records to be altered at will. If records are indeed able to be altered, the subject will attempt to modify their birth certificate so that it reads that they were born exactly one year before the date listed.
Test Subject: D-2307-19, Born 08/15/1977.
Record of Test: D-2307-19 reacts with some level of disgust at the prospect of wearing E-9382-U, stating that he "doesn't like freaky bone stuff". D-2307-19 says he will comply if he is given an extra dessert ration. Request granted; subject puts on E-9382-U.
Subject is then instructed to remove SCP-2307 from its container. Subject briefly complains of hands getting wet, before exclaiming and dropping SCP-2307 on the floor five seconds after removing it from its container.
When asked the reason for this action, Subject gave this statement:

I was… holding the damn thing. I was on a horse, and there was an army around me. Not a big army, maybe sixty people, all of them with crosses on their armor. Some guy was next to me with this hat (indicating E-9382-U) on his head, telling me what I had to do to win.

Testing was suspended following this statement. As of 5/21/2015- five years after the experiment was conducted- no alteration of D-2307-19's records have occurred.
Conclusion: Further cross-testing with the two items is deemed necessary.
Addendum:
The following document collects statements given by D-2307-19, who has been rendered exempt from D-Class Reassignment for the purposes of study. Statements are listed in the order collected, and appear to be mostly about a single individual, with the exceptions of Statements 2307-42, 2307-51, 2307-57, and 2307-59, which is listed separately.

I was in bed, with my wife- well, not my wife, but someone's wife; she felt like mine. She and I were talking about making a kid, but not with her. She couldn't have no kids anymore, after she got hit in the tummy with an arrow. I know I told someone to put the arrow in there, because otherwise, she would have had kids with my best friend…

I couldn't breathe. It was the scariest experience of my fucking life. I felt like I was trapped in a fucking coffin, and it lasted for so long, and I couldn't breathe the whole time, but I was still alive. I remember some guys speaking in Latin, but I couldn't see them, and I knew they put me there. Then the coffin shook, and I heard some guy speaking… I dunno. It sounded like gibberish. "Build poi ban agh tongue-ooh clayed hun fod bringin' a tea". Probably not English.2.

There was a guy with this horse thing on his head, dancing around a fire in a big, wood hall. He would throw things into the fire, and they would form… images. Of people. People that I knew I had to find, before someone else did. They were warriors, and there were a ton of them. And I remember thinking that I was going to need a big hall for a table. You don't think… nah.

I was cutting off someone's head with a sword, like at an execution. I guess you guys know a lot about those, heh. It looked like the sword I was holding but… bright and shiny and new. Nothing fancy, just a really, really, really fucking sharp sword. It only took one blow to cut off his head; the hell is that thing made of, adamantium?

That was scary, that was fucking scary. I was in battle with one of my men, fighting… elves, I think? That's the only way I can describe them. They wanted my sword, and my guy… he was about ten feet tall, and at one point, he grabbed one of the elves and ate him. He said something in French, and I laughed. I laughed at someone getting their head eaten. The fuck is wrong with me?

I was dying. I knew I was going to die; one of my sons had stabbed me, and I had killed him first, but I was hurt bad. So, I had my men take me to a lake. I remember that I had spent time with my sister there-her name was Morcant- when I was young. What kind of name is that for a girl? Morcant.
I just… wanted to see the place one last time before I died. Then, something… something came out of the water. She was beautiful. She looked even better than my wife did. Her skin was kind of blue, her nose was flat, and she had weird… feeler-things in her hair. God, I'd love to see her again. She wasn't human, I know that much. She asked me if I wanted to keep my legacy alive. I said yes. She asked for the sword, and I gave it to her, and she'd promised me she'd keep it safe.. She kissed me, said "goodnight", and… I was gone.

I couldn't stop crying. A messenger came from the woods and told me that one of my best friends had died. I kept crying over that damn skull I was wearing, and it took me days to calm down. I sat in my bedroom the whole time, just… staring at the ceiling. I've never been that sad. I hope I never am again.

I felt like I couldn't breathe for so long- I was in that coffin again, I think. Then, I was pulled out of the ground, and I cringed so hard; metal against stone is not a good sound. And then, I was someone else. I was just… a kid, maybe eleven or twelve, and I was holding the sword with both hands. I took it out just so I could fight in some tournament that my brother had gotten sick for. People pointed at me as I went, and I thought I was in trouble. Then some old guy with a horse head over his face came up to me and said I was a ruler. Son of a bitch.

Statement 2307-42:

I was an old man, and I'd been walking for a long, long time. I eventually walked up to a rock with a sword in it, just sitting there in the middle of nowhere, and I touched it. Then, BAM! I was knocked on my ass by lightning, and something spoke to me. It told me to find a boy to make king, and to spread her word all over. I said that I would.
Then… this is the first time this has happened. I was somewhere else, talking with the boy, who was now a man. I tried to persuade him to change his religion, but he said he would banish me if I tried teaching him my "pagan faith" again. I don't know what I was even preaching; something about machines, I think.

Statement 2307-51:

I was some kind of religious guy; monk, maybe? I remember I had itchy robes. I found the sword after it had washed up on the shore, and then I figured out it wasn't a sword. It was, like… the tip of a giant pen. A stylus, I think I called it?
I ran back to the monastery with it, and when I got there… I found that scrolls that I had written had changed. We cried out about apocrypha and an unholy force altering the scrolls. We tried to destroy the pen, piece by piece, but the more we destroyed, the more things we had altered. And then the lightning started.
It struck all over the place, and friends and other monks were dying. It was horrible. Eventually, the monastery caught fire, and I was the only one to escape. A voice… something grinding like nails on a chalkboard mixed with rusty gears- told me what to do with what was left over of the pen. I took it to a blacksmith, and he made it into a sword for me. I then just… stuck it in a rock in the middle of a stone circle, where I thought that nobody would ever find it. From what I've seen… this me was an idiot.

Statement 2307-57:

I was that… weird water woman, this time, the one I told you about in the one where I died. I had lived in the lake all my life. Some monks- I think they were from the same order as the last guy- came to me, asking me to keep something safe for them. They begged and bargained with me, saying that something unholy was upon the land. I told them I "did not care of their mortal ways" -her words, not mine-, and then they said a name: MEKHANE.
I told them I would agree to whatever they wanted me to do. They had sent someone disguised as the son of the king who had the sword- who had apparently been made with his half-sister, ew- to kill him in battle. They said that they would… bless my lake, and one of my sister's lakes, to hold the sword of MEKHANE in it, so that it couldn't make new legends, whatever that means. In exchange, I would be written about as a queen among fairies- er, fae, or whatever. The Lady of the Lake, they called me. I liked the sound of that. Son of a bitch.

Statement 2307-59's:

I was writing the word of the world, on a beach, using lightning. My people ran around below me, gathering up the glass from where the lightning struck, and transcribing my word onto their own scrolls, where they would make my holy books. Then, one day, I was hit by… something, and my pen broke. I managed to make most of it land on the beach, but… some of it didn't.
A big chunk of my pen landed a quarter of the way across the world, somewhere where I didn't care about it. And then they tried to break it. I didn't like that, so I tried to burn them with lightning and eventually, they gave in.
I've probably told you the rest of this, but from different perspectives. One thing I remember, though… remember that Lady of the Lake girl? I remember doing something to the sword- her kind didn't like iron- so that it wouldn't hurt her, or anyone like her. I don't know why I did it; I kind of remember thinking it was for safekeeping.
And then I saw… myself, holding the sword with that hat on, and then I saw the whole thing over again, and over, and over, and over, and over… until I finally dropped it.

Footnotes
1. Lakes in Cornwall, UK and North Wales, respectively
2. Phonetic translation has shown this to be a Welsh phrase, "Bydd pwy bynnag tynnu cleddyf hwn fod brenin y tir", roughly translated to mean "He who pulls this blade shall be the land's king"

« SCP-2306 | SCP-2307 | SCP-2308 »


NOTICE FROM THE RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
This document describes an anomaly that was neutralized prior to its identification and classification. This record is maintained for the benefit of historical and scientific reference, in accordance with RAISA-3010 ("Archival of Documentation for Neutralized Anomalies").

Item #: SCP-2308
Object Class: Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: N/A
Description: SCP-2308 was a line of high-performance consumer automobiles manufactured between 1999 and 2009, and sold from 1998 to 2008, by Argo Automotives1. Automobiles from the SCP-2308 model line possessed no anomalous properties of their own, except for being manufactured a year after they were sold.
Through the use of a currently unidentified temporal anomaly, Argo Automotives created a Temporal Self-Investment Loop2. Automobiles were manufactured using then-current non-anomalous technology, then were sent one year into the past to be sold as high-technology, high-performance vehicles. The money from these sales was then used to fund the development and manufacture of the vehicles that had just been sold.
Argo Automotives profited greatly from this strategy, up until the global financial crisis of 2008. Faced with a drastic drop in demand for automobiles, Argo Automotives found itself unable to sell its 2009 year model, and was thus unable to attain the necessary funds to develop and manufacture the 2009 year model. Despite this, Argo Automotives began manufacturing the vehicle in-order to prevent a potential temporal paradox. While the company succeeded in producing and delivering all of the necessary vehicles, the effort left Argo Automotives bankrupt.
The Foundation first became aware of SCP-2308 in 2010, during the liquidation proceedings for Argo Automotives, when several of its former manufacturing employees were hired by a Foundation front company. An investigation was immediately launched to determine the full extent of the Temporal Self-Investment Loop involved, as well as identify any potential paradoxes it may have created.
This investigation found that the loop was relatively self-contained, and identified no paradoxes3. However, the temporal anomaly used in the production of SCP-2308 could not be found; it is believed to have been surreptitiously sold to an unknown buyer prior to the liquidation proceedings. Efforts are ongoing to locate it.

Footnotes
1. Formerly Prometheus Automobile Group, a subsidiary of Prometheus Laboratories that became independent when the Prometheus conglomerate collapsed in 1998.
2. A paraeconomic investment strategy involving the use of future assets to fund past developments. Most notably used by Prometheus Labs between 1980 and 1992 to fund their paraweaponry programs; the disruption of this loop by the end of the Cold War was one of the contributing factors in the breakup of the Prometheus conglomerate.
3. Whether this is due to precautions taken by Argo Automotives or due to neutralization of paradoxes by an alternate timeline Foundation is unknown.

« SCP-2307 | SCP-2308 | SCP-2309 »


Item #: SCP-2309
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: In order to prevent unauthorized access, the area surrounding SCP-2309 has been enclosed by a chain-link fence and given the public designation of a proving ground used by the Georgian Land Forces. A team of observers is to be stationed at SCP-2309 at all times to regularly report on the structural condition of SCP-2309. Any breach in SCP-2309 is to be reported immediately and considered a potential SK-Class dominance shift scenario. Upon receiving such a report, Foundation military assets stationed in the Middle East are to be activated and deployed according to Contingency Plan-2309, to assess the situation, and, if applicable, engage any hostile forces that appear.
Description: SCP-2309 is an approximately 20 m tall and 5 m thick wall, constructed from blocks of iron covered in a thin layer of brass, standing between the walls of the █████ Pass in ███████ Region, Georgia. Although SCP-2309 is not susceptible to damage by conventional means, SCP-2309 continuously deteriorates through an anomalous process in which pieces of metal disappear from the north-facing side of SCP-2309, leaving a variety of patterns generally similar to claw marks in appearance. This process of deterioration, which occurs between sunrise and sunset, will continue until the thickness of the wall is reduced to as little as 5 cm in some sections. Between each period of deterioration, SCP-2309 will regenerate the lost material at a rate of approximately 0.5 mm/s, such that all of the lost material will have been regenerated before the next period of deterioration.
Foundation historians believe that SCP-2309 was constructed during the 6th century BCE, under the sponsorship of Cyrus the Great, founder of the Achaemenid Empire. The historical existence of SCP-2309 has been attested by various written sources dating from as early as the 1st century CE1; publicly-accessible versions of these sources have been modified accordingly to obscure the existence and location of SCP-2309. Of particular interest among these sources is the following first-hand account of SCP-2309, given by Sallam at-Turjumani, an official serving in the court of caliph al-Wathiq of the Abbasid Dynasty, during the early 9th century CE.

Open "Report on the Iron Wall" by Sallam at-Turjumani (Department of Antiquities: 1908.99.58)

Close "Report on the Iron Wall" by Sallam at-Turjumani (Department of Antiquities: 1908.99.58)

After the caliph reported a dream in which he saw the Iron Wall of Dhul-Qarnayn2 being breached by Yajuj and Majuj3, he dispatched me to investigate the matter. Heading northwards to the Caucasus, I arrived in Tbilisi after six months of travel. There I made inquiries concerning the state of the Iron Wall, and found an old Magian4 who told me that he had seen the Iron Wall, and that it still stood. I then offered him twenty dinars to lead me to the Iron Wall, and without comment he led me further northward, to a pass between the mountains of ███████ and ████. There I beheld the Iron Wall, and to the relief of both the caliph and myself, I found that the Iron Wall still stood, and that Dhul-Qarnayn's construction equipment remained intact, scattered about the site.
What I found strange, however, was that I could see the scratches made by Yajuj and Majuj on the Iron Wall, but I could not see Yajuj and Majuj themselves. When I expressed my confusion to the Magian, he told me that the people of Yajuj and Majuj lie hidden beyond the Iron Wall. He then placed his hand on my shoulder, at which point I saw the horde of Yajuj and Majuj streaming towards us as they tore at the Iron Wall. They were as gruesome as I had imagined, for their nakedness was not even hidden by skin, and their hands ended not in nails, but vicious rending claws.
Behind the horde of Yajuj and Majuj, I saw only devastation: every tree and plant had been uprooted, and the only beasts that survived their onslaught were flies, maggots, and roaches. Examining the disposition of the forces of Yajuj and Majuj more closely, I saw two masked men, cloaked in red robes like those of Roman bishops, presiding over the horde from atop flesh-crafted towers. Before them stood a massive, four-legged beast that was larger than five elephants and had only a bony plate for a face. Raising their staves towards the air, they guided the beast as a performer might guide a puppet. Responding to their every gesture, the beast began to charge toward the Iron Wall, trampling underfoot the Yajuj and Majuj that strayed into its path, before its head slammed into the Iron Wall, which emerged largely unscathed.
I questioned the Magian as to why Yajuj and Majuj continued this futile effort to penetrate the Iron Wall, when they could have undermined it or built a scaffold. He replied that where Yajuj and Majuj stood, the ground was harder than Damascus steel and the ceiling of heaven was exactly at the height of the Iron Wall, so that even the most insignificant insect could not fly over it. I told the Magian that I had seen enough, and he removed his hand from my shoulder. As Yajuj and Majuj disappeared from my sight, he told me that the caliph and the rulers of every civilized land must heed the threat of Yajuj and Majuj. Sometimes I question whether my vision was a sign from Allah or a Magian trick, but I am inclined to believe that I was not deceived, for Allah is Knowing and Seeing, and I saw only what had already been revealed.

Foundation archeologists began excavations of the area surrounding SCP-2309 in 1992. Among the articles of interest discovered were:

A cache of approximately one thousand Lydian coins.
A large number of iron and bronze fragments from Achaemenid weapons and armor.
A collection of gears and other machine parts, probably used in the construction of SCP-2309. Many are stamped with the seals of the Mekhanite temple-cults of the Ionian city-states.
A mass grave containing skeletons with humanoid body structures largely similar to those of baseline Homo sapiens sapiens, deviating from the baseline in that their skulls largely consist of a vertically aligned pair of sharp jaws, and that their fingers end with bony claws. These specimens have been noted to resemble captured instances of SK-BIO Type B.
A large clay cylinder, containing the following record, written in Old Persian, of the construction of SCP-2309 and the circumstances in which it took place.

Open "Iron Wall Cylinder" by Unknown Author (Department of Antiquities: 1994.23.87)

Close "Iron Wall Cylinder" by Unknown Author (Department of Antiquities: 1994.23.87)

All civilized men praise Cyrus, beloved of Ahura Mazda5, king of kings, king of Persia, Babylon, Sumer, Akkad, and Lydia! His army, which counts in its ranks as many men as there are drops of water in the Tigris and the Euphrates, marched into the Caucasus to confront the invaders who have sallied out from Adatum6. Led by Karasci7 Yagaha and Karasci Mahaga, daeva8-generals of Angra Mainyu9, they have caused great mischief in our lands. At first, Cyrus's army drove them back, to the █████ Pass, but the onslaught was endless, such that even the Companions10 could not hold them back. In his divinely-granted wisdom, Cyrus resolved to build a barrier, to hold back the daevas and their accursed armies. Gathering the wisest men from all corners of his empire, Cyrus journeyed to Ionia, where he enlisted the Mekhanite builder-priests. As Cyrus's armies held the line, the Mekhanites erected a great wall from blocks of iron, and poured over it a layer of consecrated brass, so that Karasci Yagaha and Karasci Mahaga and their armies will be sealed away from mankind in the realm of druj11 until the end of time.

Because of the eschatological significance assigned to SCP-2309, and the existence of written and archeological evidence suggesting that SCP-2309 was constructed as a barrier against Sarkic armies, it is believed that the breach of SCP-2309, if and when it should take place, may constitute an SK-Class dominance shift scenario. Historical and esoteric research regarding the nature of the threat posed by SCP-2309 and possible improvements to its containment is ongoing.

Footnotes
1. See The Jewish War, Unabridged by Josephus (Department of Antiquities: 1911.86.98).
2. Lit. "the two-horned one." Dhul-Qarnayn was a legendary ruler described in the Qur'an as having built an iron wall, which was likely a reference to the construction of SCP-2309 by Cyrus the Great, who was frequently shown wearing a horned headpiece in artistic depictions.
3. Referred to in the Judaeo-Christian tradition as Gog and Magog. In Islam, Yajuj and Majuj are peoples who will invade the world during the end times.
4. Islamic term for Zoroastrians. Possibly referring to a Mekhanite in this context, as many medieval Islamic sources conflate the dualistic aspects of the Mekhanite and Zoroastrian faiths.
5. Creator deity and object of worship in Zoroastrianism.
6. Old Persian rendition of Adí-üm, also known as Adytum, capital of the Sarkic Empire.
7. Corruption of the word karcist, the title of spiritual and secular leaders of the Sarkic Empire and its successor states.
8. Zoroastrian term referring to false gods, or hostile supernatural entities.
9. Spirit of evil opposed by Ahura Mazda in Zoroastrianism, which in this context is likely referring to Yaldabaoth, the deity worshiped by the Sarkic cults.
10. Elite soldiers of the Achaemenid Empire, referred to as Immortals by Greek sources.
11. Zoroastrian concept that can refer to falsehood, disorder, or non-existence.

« SCP-2308 | SCP-2309 | SCP-2310 »


Item #: SCP-2310
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Instances of 2310-A are to be housed in four replicas of SCP-2310, to encourage their cooperation. The perimeter of their housing complex is to be placed under guard, but subjects are to have freedom of movement within the complex.
SCP-2310 is to be kept isolated on the grounds of Site 115. No research requiring the physical presence of Foundation personnel is to be conducted on SCP-2310, and no Foundation personnel are to be allowed access to SCP-2310's holding facility. Research requiring human interaction with SCP-2310 is to be undertaken with the assistance of trained volunteers recruited from Site 115's population of 2310-As. Each 2310-A must undergo a minimum of 18 months of therapy before they will be allowed to volunteer as C-Class personnel.
2310-B is to be kept in secure living quarters at Site 115. Foundation personnel are to avoid contact with it until research on its possible anomalous properties is complete.
Given Ms. Palmer's lack of anomalous properties and ongoing cooperation with the SCP Foundation, her designation as 2310-B has been retired. She has been released from Containment Division oversight, and details of her containment are to be handled by Human Resources.
Description: SCP-2310 is a suburban house originally located in Anne Arundel County, Maryland.1 Any human who enters the building immediately undergoes an anomalous mind-altering event. Such subjects are instances of 2310-A. Instances of 2310-A believe themselves to be a 42-year-old human female named "Sarah Palmer."
2310-B, the individual believed to be the original Sarah Palmer, has no apparent anomalous attributes other than an immunity to the effects of SCP-2310. She inhabited SCP-2310 between 1989 and 2007. No anomalous activity surrounding the house was reported by her or anyone else during this period; the current anomaly is believed to have first presented itself some time in mid-2013. 2310-B was unaware of anomalous activity concerning her former home until briefed by Foundation personnel.
The consciousness of each new instance of 2310-A is replaced with a copy of 2310-B's mind as it was on the morning of January 20, 2002.2 2310-B has confirmed that memories described by 2310-As match its own memories prior to this date. 2310-B's memories after that date are not accessible to 2310-As, and while the personalities of 2310-As are initially very similar they often develop down different paths. 2310-As retain no memories or awareness of their former self, and self-identify as Sarah Palmer.3 As there is no known way of reversing this process, Foundation personnel affected by SCP-2310 in this manner, though still physically functioning, are to be considered deceased.
Neither the constituent parts of SCP-2310, any of the objects or furniture contained within, or the site on which it was originally located demonstrate any anomalous activity in isolation. It is not known what level of assembly is required for SCP-2310 to demonstrate anomalous activity.

Addendum 2310-i: Security Reclassification Notice

The full mission report for Operation Snowglobe is classified, and that isn't going to change any time soon. However, given the dramatic staff changes it has caused at Site 115, curiosity is natural. I have obtained permission to outline the events of Snowglobe; you've probably heard some of the details from our local Sarahs anyway.

Let me be frank: Snowglobe was an unforced error. Twenty experienced Mobile Task Force agents died at the hands of an artifact that probably would have been classified Safe if the recovery hadn't been botched so badly. As your new site director, I hope to use this as a learning opportunity to address the root causes of this catastrophe.
The following memo consists of excerpts from the SCP-2310 Recovery Report alongside my own commentary. Discussion sessions to improve our staff's understanding of engagement procedures will begin on Monday. This includes both Site 115 personnel and all field units attached to Site 115. Please familiarize yourself with the events of Operation Snowglobe before then.

—Site Director Prell

Addendum 2310-ii: SCP-2310 Recovery Report

August 18, 2013: Foundation agents from Field Unit Epsilon-7 ("Seven Magpies"), while monitoring cult activity in the Washington, D.C. suburbs, note a cluster of disappearances in a single neighborhood in Anne Arundel County, Maryland. Two of these disappearances are from local law enforcement who were themselves investigating the neighborhood. Further information is requested from the Anne Arundel County Police Department.

Morning of August 19: Local law enforcement reports that they believe the missing persons are being held in a house at █████ ██████████████. Neighbors describe strange activity in the house, interpreted by them as "cultlike." They also report seeing some kind of struggle between figures within the house. An expedited warrant for a raid on the house is obtained by local law enforcement. Foundation field agents continue monitoring the situation, while leaving it in the hands of local authorities.

Evening of August 19: Anne Arundel County Police Department conducts a raid on the house. Despite an absence of signs of conflict, communication with the officers is quickly lost. As AACPD prepares to send in assistance, field agents under the command of Eric Strohman intervene and take control of the situation. A perimeter is formed around the house, the neighborhood is evacuated, and field agents begin conducting reconnaissance on the house.
This is where the field team begins down the wrong path. Seven Magpies specializes in investigating the D.C. area's cult problem, and when neighbors suggested there was a "cult" living in SCP-2310, the field team jumped on this and did not fully consider other possibilities. For the rest of the reconnaissance period, the field team operates under the assumption that they are dealing with cultists wielding anomalous weaponry, rather than a localized anomaly contained within the house. This assessment will go on to color the Mobile Task Force's response.

August 20, 12:40 AM: Field agents report on activity within the house. Several of the missing police officers are seen moving around inside, in a state of apparent agitation. Attempts to communicate with them via loudspeaker only cause them to react with fear. They are accosted by strangely dressed figures, who lead them to the basement. Other presumed captives, however, are observed to have freedom of movement within the house. Field agents conclude that the cultists may have access to anomalous means of indoctrination.
1:12 AM: A man dressed in red robes4 opens a window on the top floor. He begins shouting at perimeter guards. He instructs them to leave the house alone. He is unresponsive to offers to negotiate the release of captives. After several minutes, he breaks into tears, closes the window, and retreats into the house.
3:51 AM: Broad-spectrum energy analysis of the house is completed. No unusual energy signatures are detected from the house. Around twenty-four lifeforms are detected within the house. Based on local disappearances, up to twenty-one of them are assumed to be captives.
4:25 AM: Site Director Pritchard arrives on-site along with Mobile Task Force Rho-14 ("Old Boars") led by Agent Talbot. Pritchard, Talbot, and Agent Strohman meet to discuss the Foundation's response. They approve the forcible entry of the house and detainment of its inhabitants. The recovery operation is filed as "Snowglobe."
Site Director Pritchard's personal intervention was unnecessary, and likely influenced by her previous successes in combating the Seven Daughters Society and the Friends of Amicus. She reportedly advocated for an immediate military response, with the support of Agent Talbot but over the objections of Agent Strohman.
While Pritchard's concern for securing the immediate safety of the captives is commendable, her disregard of Strohman's analysis was reckless. Transcripts suggest she and Talbot had decided on a course of action before even reaching the scene. Though Strohman was her subordinate, as the leader of the field agents researching SCP-2310 his assessment should have carried more weight. While his assumptions about the nature of the mind-altering anomaly at work were far off the mark, he was correct in regarding the mere possibility of mind-altering anomalies as a red flag meriting extraordinary caution.
One final consideration is more subtle and psychological: once a combat-oriented Mobile Task Force was dispatched to the scene, Foundation leadership was under pressure to put them to use. We've actually researched this— when Mobile Task Forces are dispatched prior to the approval of force, approval follows within the next 12 hours in 78% of cases and within the next 48 hours in 90% of cases. Their mere presence makes the use of force the path of least resistance. We, of all people, must recognize how little power we have over our own minds.
5:00 AM: Agents resume attempts at negotiation via loudspeaker. With this drawing the attention of the inhabitants of the house, MTF Rho-14 takes up positions and prepares to enter the building. Fireteam Axum is positioned at the back door, Fireteam Babel at a basement hatch, Fireteam Corinth on the roof, and Fireteams Dacia and Egypt are held in reserve.
5:10 AM: Agent Talbot orders Fireteam Axum into the house. They breach the back door. Agent Wright is the first inside. Upon entering the house, his consciousness is immediately replaced with an instance of 2310-A, becoming the individual recorded as 2310-A-18.5
Following Wright into the building, the rest of his team is likewise replaced with instances of 2310-A. Finding herself surrounded by men with guns, 2310-A-18 yells "Don't shoot!" Each of the new 2310-As joins in with a similar frightened reaction, and they scatter. Most flee deeper into the house; 2310-A-2 runs into the yard and hides in a bush.
Hearing Fireteam Axum shouting about armed men over the radio, Agent Talbot orders Fireteams Babel and Corinth into the building, intending to flank the armed men believed to be threatening Axum. Babel enters the basement and Corinth breaches the roof; all four members of each team are immediately converted into instances of 2310-A. They begin adding to the radio chatter about armed men.
Facing what is assumed to be an unexpectedly strong force armed with conventional weapons, Site Director Pritchard orders Fireteams Dacia and Egypt to enter the building. This decision is strongly opposed by Agents Talbot and Strohman, who have by now taken note of the unusually panicked reactions from trained Mobile Task Force agents. Their objections are overruled.
Agent Talbot leads Fireteams Dacia and Egypt through the front door. They are immediately converted into instances of 2310-A. With the last of Mobile Task Force Rho-14 routing, Director Pritchard orders a full withdrawal, unaware that the entire team has already been effectively killed in action.
Director Pritchard didn't get reassigned because she got people killed. If the Foundation exiled Site Directors to "Keter duty" every time they got people killed, I'd be on Keter duty. Pritchard got reassigned because, with everyone around her telling her to exercise caution, she proved incapable of cutting her losses.
I know Pritchard was popular here, so let me assure you that her career will not be solely defined by its darkest moment. She has done excellent work for the Foundation, and her talents will be put to good use elsewhere.
5:13 AM: Many converted Foundation agents flee the building, along with other instances of 2310-A frightened by the armed intruders. Their unusual mental state is immediately apparent. Field Team Epsilon-7 resumes reconnaissance of the house and detains the fleeing 2310-As.
6:30 AM: On-site debriefing of converted agents is uninformative; they are found to be unable to explain the events of the raid. Their shift in identity is not yet fully noted, and they are initially believed to be simply suffering from an anomalous form of amnesia.
Interviews with instances of 2310-A who had more time to adjust to their condition are more revealing. It quickly becomes clear that they are not affiliated with any known groups of interest.6 They discuss their shared identity as Sarah Palmer. Improvised tests comparing their memories and personalities provide tentative support for the claims that they are duplicates of the same consciousness.
Their testimony further establishes that the 2310-As had decided to seclude themselves in the house both to conceal their condition, and because each of them regarded it as their home. The struggles within the house reported by witnesses had been instigated by the "True Sarahs," a clique of 2310-As who happened to physically resemble the original Sarah Palmer. The True Sarahs had unsuccessfully attempted to evict the other 2310-As when money and food began to run low. (This shortage seems to have been inadvertently caused by the original Sarah Palmer, then living in Florida, who around this time filed a report of identity theft with Bank of America.)
Most of the 2310-As prove cooperative following these interviews. Director Pritchard asks several volunteers among them to bring monitoring devices into the house and to send out the remaining 2310-As hiding inside, including twelve converted Foundation agents.
6:45 AM: 2310-As acting under Foundation direction enter the house. Several of these volunteers are threatened with guns by converted agents. However, the original Sarah Palmer was unfamiliar with the operation of assault rifles, and none of the converted agents are able to turn off the safety.
Over the course of the next four hours, the remaining 2310-As are successfully coaxed out of the building by 2310-A volunteers. They are taken into Foundation custody and brought to Site 115, where they meet with Foundation therapists to help prepare them for detainment.
1:10 PM: After a review of local property prices, it is determined that it would be more economical to elevate and relocate the house than to secure it on-site. A request is sent to Site 227 for the temporary use of an engineering team.
The report keeps going, but I'll spare you the details of the engineering team moving the actual house. Suffice to say SCP-2310 claimed its final Foundation casualty during structure relocation: the roof (which had been weakened by Fireteam Corinth's forced entry) collapsed, and debris landed on one of the engineers. While this did not convert him into an instance of 2310-A, his injuries did cause him to lose the use of his legs. He is the lone survivor of contact with SCP-2310.
SCP-2310 is dumb. It does not try to trick its victims or lure anyone in. It simply relies on the human desire to help people. Neighbors went to check on the elderly couple living there, and when they didn't come out their friends came to look for them, and police came to look for them, and we came along and joined the line of lemmings. We thought we could get away with doing the same thing because we're experts. True expertise would have consisted of doing something different.
The SCP Foundation does immeasurably important work, and usually does it extremely well. However, I've seen too many talented Foundation employees infected with the used-tissue mindset: that the threats we face are of such danger and immediacy that we must throw everything we have at them, and tally up the cost afterwards.
But while the Foundation's resources are substantial, I can assure you they are finite. They come from somewhere, and if we abuse them, they will go to someone else. In the face of danger, we must exercise caution. We must be willing to lose, fall back, and fight another day, another way. Or the day will come when we pick up the phone to call for backup, and the voice on the other end will tell us "No."
I look forward to working with all of you at Site 115.
—Site Director Prell

Footnotes
1. SCP-2310 has since been fully relocated to Site 115.
2. Their association with a specific date was first observed by a therapist in the Foundation's employ, who noticed several instances of 2310-A expressing distress over the "recent" September 11 attacks.
3. 2310-As have expressed a preference for cognomina such as "Sarah Palmer the Blond" and "Sarah Palmer the Youngest" over the numbering system originally used. They are reluctant to answer to names other than Sarah Palmer, particularly their pre-conversion names.
4. Later found to be women's nightwear.
5. More commonly known as Sarah Palmer the Taller Black Guy.
6. I'm aware that Pritchard is still lobbying for an investigation into cult connections. This is face-saving nonsense.

« SCP-2309 | SCP-2310 | SCP-2311 »


Item #: SCP-2311
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2311 is to be contained at the site of its discovery, the basement of a residential building in Rochester, New York. This residence is designated Temporary Satellite Site 14, with the basement acting as SCP-2311's cell until suitable long-term containment can be achieved. Temporary Sat-Site 14 is to be staffed at all times by no less than three Foundation operatives posing as tenants under standard "Plain Sight" cover protocols, with preference given to personnel who have survived at least one reality restructuring event. A designated developmental psychologist must conduct biweekly sessions with SCP-2311 in order to discourage breach attempts.
Floodlights must be installed in every interior room of Temporary Sat-Site 14, with controls easily accessible by all personnel. In addition, motion-activated lights must be fitted to all building exits. All facility lights must be properly maintained and tested by site personnel on a weekly basis.
Description: SCP-2311 is a nine-year-old human male with Klinefelter syndrome, Kaspar Hauser syndrome, and a ventricular septal defect. SCP-2311's stunted language skills1 and distinctive toddling gait are believed to be a result of severe social and emotional deprivation from an early age. SCP-2311 also exhibits heliophobia and aquaphobia, likely as a result of childhood trauma.
SCP-2311 has the ability to alter matter with little regard for physical laws, causality or logic. The potential magnitude of this capability is unknown. For what is believed to be psychological reasons, SCP-2311 displays diminished anomalous capacity while in a contented or fearful emotional state and while within the confines of Sat-Site 14. If either of these conditions are not met (ie., SCP-2311 is in an angered or excited emotional state, or has left its containment cell in the basement of Sat-Site 14), SCP-2311 will begin to express its anomalous traits. If neither of these conditions are met, SCP-2311's breach of containment should be considered a potential CK-class reality restructuring event, as at this time the Foundation does not possess sufficient data to predict its capabilities or likely course of action in this scenario.
To date, SCP-2311 has been observed to:

Manifest and attempt to consume approximately 20 kilograms of La Perruche brand individually-wrapped sugar cubes.
Inflict fatal physical harm on Foundation personnel by anomalous means. Injuries bear a cosmetic resemblance to necrosis spreading at a medically impossible rate.
Translocate instantaneously with no regard for physical barriers such as the interior walls of Sat-Site 14. To date, SCP-2311 has not displayed any ability or willingness to teleport outside the confines of Sat-Site 14.
Manifest heat and flames measured at 600°C. Flames created by SCP-2311 have never been observed to consume fuel or otherwise affect the objects around them. Despite palpable heat, they inflict no damage on human tissue.
In one recorded incident, SCP-2311 emitted a stream of liquid at an estimated pressure of 800 kPa and temperature of -200°C. The liquid poured from SCP-2311's nasal, oral and anal orifices for fifteen minutes, causing SCP-2311 apparent distress. Unlike the anomalous flames and heat generated by SCP-2311, the extreme cold of this liquid did affect human tissue as expected, inflicting nerve damage after 5 minutes of continuous exposure. After the liquid warmed to room temperature, it became indistinguishable from normal water; how it was able to maintain a liquid state at -200°C is not presently understood.

SCP-2311's anomalous capabilities are not believed to be restricted to the phenomena listed above. Opportunities to observe SCP-2311's reality-restructuring capacity have been limited to two breach events since Foundation custody commenced, and to the circumstances of SCP-2311's initial containment.
Recovery Details: SCP-2311 was brought to Foundation attention by assets embedded in the New York State Office of Child and Family Services (OCFS), who were investigating SCP-2311's living conditions after neighbors reported a "yelping boy" being kept in a basement for religious or occult purposes. The Foundation first attempted to seize SCP-2311 covertly via Foundation operatives posing as OCFS officials working in tandem with local law enforcement. During the investigation, an individual believed to be SCP-2311's father (hereafter designated Person of Interest-2311-01) detonated several homemade incendiary devices. Local law enforcement disengaged and Mobile Task Force Psi-7 (“Home Improvement”) took command under standard cover protocol "Federal Agents." MTF Psi-7 agents entered the burning residence and encountered SCP-2311 displaying its anomalous properties. MTF Psi-7 suffered █ casualties but managed to contain SCP-2311. PoI-2311-01 died from smoke inhalation prior to Psi-7's breach of the residence2.
In the aftermath, the City of Rochester Fire Department extinguished the fire, and the damaged residence was acquired via a Foundation shell company. Containment personnel posing as contractors repaired the damage caused by the fire and enacted SCP-2311's current special containment procedures.

ARTIFACT MANIFEST: 2311/3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED

AUTHORIZATION APPROVED: ITEMS RECOVERED FROM RESIDENCE BASEMENT

Numerous non-anomalous books and manuscripts on occult subjects, including Liber Al vel Legis, Kitab Sirr al-Asrar, and one hundred and eight copies of Tabula Smaragdina in various languages.
Two sets of iron restraints and one iron hobble, along with two unopened boxes of Rothco-brand plastic restraints.
The decomposed remains of an adult woman, found interred in a crawlspace. Genetic tests confirm the deceased was SCP-2311's biological mother. Decomposition made it impossible to determine a definitive cause of death, but the deceased appears to have undergone a botched hysterectomy.
A double jacket, industrial-strength firehose and requisite plumbing.
Plaster walls and ceiling filled with fiberglass insulation and resilient channels as apparent soundproofing measures.
Several empty boxes of La Perruche brand individually-wrapped sugar cubes and attendant wrappers.
A bassinet, a crib, and a twin-sized mattress sans bedding, all badly soiled.

RECOVERED DOCUMENT: 2311/3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED

AUTHORIZATION APPROVED: UNTITLED MANUSCRIPT

Page 1 of the recovered document.

Pages 2 and 3 of the recovered document.

Pages 4 and 5 of the recovered document.

The following is a document believed to have been written by PoI-2311-01. Most of the pages in the notebook were filled with diagrams and nonsensical equations concerning occult and alchemical subjects. All legible text is included below; access to the original manuscript requires 2311/4 clearance.

10/11/20██: Double-checked and triple-checked calculations. It's real. It either exists or theoretically could. Nothing stopping it. So where the fuck is it?
10/13/20██: Found a modern Chaos Magick forum online. Interesting, but disagree with initial premise. Trouble isn't a lack of belief; I have a surfeit of belief. I have belief crystallized into evidence (double-checked, triple-checked, not like I can get a second opinion). Magick is real. The only impediment to its practice is an apparent paucity of magicians.
10/23/20██: I tried the formula again. Genuine royal water this time, imported from a colleague in ██████. I poured it in, and the whole time I was thinking nitrohydrochloric acid. I couldn't stop thinking nitrohydrochloric acid. The admixture failed, of course.
10/24/20██: Homunculus an increasingly attractive option. I cannot learn the art (too grounded in the fundus/consensus/real), but I might be able to create an artist.
10/27/20██: Started searching for suitable source material. Rusty.
1/23/20██: Found suitable source material. Lean little thing from Cambodia. Pliant/compliant. Never actually thought I'd do this, but I guess there's no harm now that I'm looking to outsource.
2/3/20██: Source material arrived today. Made it official at the courthouse.
2/4/20██: Not really all it's cracked up to be.
2/28/20██: No results as of yet.
4/20/20██: No results as of yet.
5/3/20██: No results.
6/11/20██: No results. Failing health of source material a concern.
6/15/20██: Conception!
6/27/20██: I introduced the source material/vessel to the circle. I'm no practitioner, but I know certain patterns/formulae/procedures that should allow a degree of influence over the unformed/incipient/unreal. The womb is simply that primordial void of so many creation myths. A vacuum paradoxically containing all necessities for creation.
6/28/20██: Alterations continue, progressing well. Blurred gender as much as I could without risking critical defect; masculine + feminine, sun + moon, yin + yang, all that good shit.
6/29/20██: Alterations continue. Parted the waters and drove the heart from the center.
6/30/20██: Alterations finished. Long, auspicious day. Think it went well but impossible to tell until it decants. Vessel spent and disposed of. Think I earned a fucking drink.
7/12/20██: No update. It'll take some time, but it should be ready to decant at the vernal equinox. Couldn't hurt, right?
9/20/20██: Nothing to report. Would have expected more movement by now. Doubt is poison.
10/13/20██: Nothing to report.
11/12/20██: Remembered an interesting bit of Paracelsus, looked it up today: “That the sperm of a man be putrefied by itself in a sealed cucurbit for forty days with the highest degree of putrefaction in a horse's womb, or at least so long that it comes to life and moves itself and stirs…” Ha! Could've just used a horse.
12/3/20██: Sweet Christ it's working.
1/1/20██: Happy new year.
2/15/20██: Growth continues. Worried it would grow too fast, miss our special date, but it seems to have normalized/plateaued.
3/3/20██: Speech of God = creation/absolute destruction. Say "light" and light separated from darkness, say "day" and "night" and they were thereafter day and night. This was the first speech and it was perfect/powerful/true. Things were not divorced from their names and language was a lie nobody had invented yet.
3/10/20██: Beginning final preparations for decantation. Growth has abated, little movement.
3/15/20██: Second was the speech of embryonic Adam. Lesser, of course, but say "sheep" and sheep. Say "tree" and tree. It is a speech that sculpted things, carved them in that warm paradise of infantile ignorance/non-being/clay. Eden, containing all necessities for creation. Eden, where mankind was nascent and incomplete. Eden, before she came bearing the poison of knowledge.
3/17/20██: The basement/creche/temple is ready. Hose took the most work, but spare the rod and spoil the child, right?
3/18/20██: No movement. Concerned.
3/19/20██: Language fractured when Babel fell. We lost the speech of Adam, but it can be regained. Language castrates, knowledge blinds, and nitrohydrochloric acid is a leaden weight on my will but you can be free. Here is a thing I call “night,” little homunculus. Teach me its true name. Here is a thing I call “day." Teach me or I'll turn on the hose.
3/20/20██: Decanted. Stunted but viable. Now the real work starts, little Adam.

Footnotes
1. SCP-2311 communicates only with a select few gestures in American Sign Language ("treat" and "no", specifically), taught to him by Dr. Alex Akopyan, SCP-2311's currently assigned developmental psychologist. Prior to containment, SCP-2311 was only capable of a loud, repetitive yelping vocalization.
2. A full action report is available to security officers with 2311/3 clearance.

« SCP-2310 | SCP-2311 | SCP-2312 »


Highlighted in green: SCP-2312's area of effect

Item #: SCP-2312
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Mobile Task Force Tau-20 ("Turkish Recon") is tasked with identifying SCP-2312 instances. Areas with identified SCP-2312 instances are to be cordoned off under the pretence of a Cyprus Turkish Peace Force Command training area. In cooperation with the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus' (TRNC)1 government, appropriate counter-Extranormal Events measures are to be enacted against all 2312-Eris Events.
Update (05/05/2004): TRNC's de facto sovereignty is to be upheld, as defined by the current borders claimed by it.
Description: SCP-2312 refers to a series of carvings found on the surface of the Kyrenia Mountains referencing an individual named "King Pan" (designated SCP-2312-A); instances typically manifest once per month. SCP-2312 instances are written in Koine Greek, and styled as decrees from SCP-2312-A. Although its identity and existence cannot be ascertained, SCP-2312-A is inferred to be a monarch claiming rulership over a "Kingdom of All Cypruses".
When an SCP-2312 instance manifests, a corresponding Extranormal Event will occur (designated 2312-Eris Event). All 2312-Eris Events are localised within TRNC-controlled territory. Removal of SCP-2312 does not prevent occurrence of 2312-Eris Events. Below are several examples of SCP-2312 instances and corresponding 2312-Eris Events; compilation is restricted to Level ≥3/2312 clearance.

Translated excerpt
2312-Eris Event
Cover Story

"…All Cypruses shalt unite under I and render my crooked brother's singular Cyprus a petty kingdom…"2
N/A
N/A

"…let all Cypruses have meat…"
Fishes spontaneously rain over TRNC cities.
Fabrication of a Mediterranean tropical-like cyclone.

"…scriptures of my benefactor – who gave me infinity – shalt spread to all Cypruses…"
Advertisements of "Heavenly Antlers Properties" are mailed to every TRNC household.
Publicity stunt by author ██████ ████████.

"…birds in flight – the pleasure of my deceiving brother – shalt be cast down…"
All birds within TRNC-controlled territory lost control over their wing muscles. Estimated █,███ birds died via major trauma.
Fabrication of an avian neuromuscular disease.

Occurring since ██/██/1992, 2312-Eris Events were initially classified as individual Extranormal Events. They were classified under SCP-2312 on ██/██/1998, upon discovering a causality between SCP-2312 manifestations and 2312-Eris Events.
Addendum 2312-1: Excerpt from "Heavenly Antlers Properties" Ad

Got the short end of the family inheritance? Want to invest in lands beyond the third dimension? Greener pastures are infinite! We at Heavenly Antlers Properties provide a wide range of services to guarantee trans-dimensional acquisition and ownership of land.

Addendum 2312-2: After negotiations with Cypriot, Greek, Turkish and TRNC governments, the following test is conducted.

Phase A
Phase B

Procedure
Sovereignty over █████3 transferred to TRNC from 20/04/2003 to 20/04/2004.
After 20/04/2004, █████ is returned to Turkish sovereignty.

Results
2312-Eris Events manifested on █████.
2312-Eris Events ceased on █████.

Analysis
SCP-2312's area of effect apparently shifts to accommodate territorial or sovereignty changes involving TRNC. Request maintenance of status quo.

Footnotes
1. A self-declared state based on the northeastern portion of Cyprus Island.
2. Analysis indicates it to be the earliest SCP-2312 instance chronologically.
3. An uninhabited Turkish island on the Mediterranean Sea.

« SCP-2311 | SCP-2312 | SCP-2313 »


Sensory Deprivation

So this came from an idea I had after reading a comment on another SCP. Thanks to Eskobear for his help with the hook, and Echo and marslifeform for their help in refining my draft. Of course thanks to all the residents of #site19 and #area14 as well as there are almost too many names to list off that helped me with various parts of this.

▸ More by this Author ◂

{$comments2}

F.A.Q.

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Item #: SCP-2313
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2313-1 instances are to be contained in secured individual cells. Unless approved by the SCP-2313 project director for testing purposes, direct physical contact with SCP-2313-1 instances is prohibited.
Transport involving an SCP-2313-1 instance requires prior approval from the SCP-2313 project director. SCP-2313-1 instances must wear a hazardous materials suit of level B or better during transport.
Description: SCP-2313 is a sensory disorder that prevents stimuli from the visual and auditory systems from being properly processed by the brain. Sufferers of SCP-2313, referred to as SCP-2313-1, display the symptoms of blindness and deafness. Excluding auditory and visual stimuli, SCP-2313-1 instances appear to process all sensory perception normally. Attempts to circumvent these disorders via any means, including use of SCP-2077 has so far been met with failure.
SCP-2313 differs from normal sensory processing disorders in that it may be spread to other individuals through an anomalous process. Any individual that comes into direct physical contact with an instance of SCP-2313-1 will become an additional instance of SCP-2313-1.

+ Additional Notes

Hide Notes

Subsequent to a significant reduction of SCP-2313-1 instances as a result of incident 2313-14, the following messages were found in Director Carter's voice mailbox. The entities speaking in these messages have been designated SCP-2313-3. The following audio logs are unedited and were both received within seconds of the other.

Transcript:
SCP-2313-3-A: Hello there! It's *static* from the Human Resources department of *static* Company. Our records indicate you terminated several of our employees after a recent incident. So first of all I'd like to apologize for the problems our employees caused, but those were company resources so the Foundation is going to have to compensate us for them. We have a couple of simple payment plans available, you just call me back and I'll walk you through it. It's a toll free number 6-2800-55-40505.

Transcript:
SCP-2313-3-A: Hey! It's *static* again? Human Resources from *static* Company. I'm looking over your file and you've been delinquent for several months. So if you don't get back to me before the end of the week, I'm going to have to refer you to our collections department. Just give me a call. 6-2800-55-40505. Ask for *static*. Thanks!

Following receipt of these messages, contact with SCP-2313-3 using the information provided was attempted. While several hours of audio have been recorded, no contact has been made with any entities at the number provided in the messages. The following is a log of attempt 2.

Transcript:
SCP-2313-3-B: Thank you for calling *static* company. For quality assurance, this call may be monitored. *pulsed static*

In addition to the symptoms associated with SCP-2313, instances receive twice monthly payments addressed to their primary residence from an unknown source. If an instance's primary residence changes, future envelopes will be addressed to the new residence. Each envelope contains 67 US Dollars and a note reading "SENSORY CONFISCATION/REASSIGNMENT COMPENSATION" along with a 7 digit number unique to each SCP-2313-1 instance.
Within 6 weeks of the death of any SCP-2313-1 instance, members of an instance's immediate family will receive a payment from a similar source. The amount of these payments has varied, with the highest value seen to be 3,467 US Dollars and the lowest value seen to be 45 US Dollars.
All attempts to trace the source of these payments have failed, though the sequential nature of the numbers associated with the payments indicate at least 12 SCP-2313-1 instances are unaccounted for.
Incident Report 2313-125

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Following a routine reduction of accumulated SCP-2313-1 instances, the Foundation intercepted a delivery to an SCP-2313-1 instance's widow, herself suffering from deafness since early childhood. The delivery contained a payment of 286 dollars and a box containing the following letter.

Hearing is important to the well being of all sentients and you have been without it for too long. With reassignment technology the only question is: What do you think your hearing is worth? Drop this package off at your nearest postal office along with a video recording of your youngest offspring laughing. That is it. You will hear the difference.

Attempts by Foundation personnel to follow the instructions contained inside the package have not resulted in any anomalous incidents. Authorization has been requested to allow the intended civilian recipient to attempt completion of the instructions and is pending approval.

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