She opened the box, and inside was…

Joshua pressed the fabric against his teeth; against his tongue. Every morning he'd boil the rag in hot water, dry it, and soak it in the fat of his breakfast. He'd chew on that cloth all day long, every minute of the day. The act was maddening; always chewing, never swallowing, but it kept him from a deeper madness.
Joshua packed up his camp and made his way down the silent highway; a nettle-grove of empty cars and twisted rebar. He gave each vehicle a quick glance as he passed, but he never slowed, and he never hoped. He knew better. Besides, he wasn't here for prizes. He was using the highway for it's intended purpose; a quick route from here to there.
To the light in the window.
He'd seen it two days ago from across the city: a single glowing plane on the 24th floor of a high-rise, nestled deep in the forest of skyscrapers. His vision narrowed on it even now, dark as it was in the daylight. It was like a familiar face across a distant room. It called to him. It could mean… it might mean…
“Please!”
Joshua flinched and turned. He'd been staring at the window, and had forgotten his surroundings. He'd been spotted. They were coming for him now.
A figure came barreling out from between two trucks, tall and skeletal, running at him with hands outstretched.
“Please!” it screamed. "I need it! Please! I'm so-”
The gunshot rang out. It echoed across the whole, empty city. Birds would have taken wing, flying up from the nearby trees… but of course, neither had existed in a long, long time. Here and now, the thing took three more trembling steps, one hand still outstretched. Then, it collapsed.
Joshua didn't lower his gun. He knew there'd be consequences for the sound. He checked his blind spots. Sure enough, there were a half dozen more, watching him with their sunken eyes. Most stayed crouched, but one had come to stand in the center in the road. The way it looked at him… it was almost taunting Joshua for a repeat performance. Begging, maybe. It was impossible to tell; there was barely any face left to read. Joshua held his breath and waited for the coin-flip decision. Would they rush him, or…
No, they slunk off, one by one crawling over car hoods and through concrete rubble. The standing one stayed the longest, watching Joshua until the last moment before walking away.
Joshua exhaled. He stood over his kill. One shot, through the neck. Clean. Lucky. They never had much neck on them, just a thin chicken bone propping up the head. This one was no different, all hollow cheeks and browning teeth. Joshua worked the tip of his machete against the things ribs; the gangrenous, bone-flattened flesh was a thin as rice paper. No meat.
Useless.

It was late in the day before Joshua reached the high rise. Silently, he climbed the many flights of stairs, satchel held tight under his arm. It was light. Too light. He chewed roughly on the fabric in his mouth, dull and flavorless. It made his stomach churn, but he had to. He couldn't end up like them. Nothing else was more important. He chewed so hard his gums began to bleed.
Room 2405.
The door wasn't locked; it wasn't even fully closed. As Joshua stepped inside, the apartment seemed like every other home he'd ever trespassed upon, all bare shelves and broken cabinets, full of grime and absence. Family photos and personal trinkets laid broken on the floor. No one had cared when things got bad.
A young man sat on the couch. He wore a filthy t-shirt and jeans, his black hair long and unkempt. His skin was sickly, but rounded, sitting over a bed of real fat, muscle and sinew.
He looked up as Joshua entered. They stared at each other in one long, empty moment before the young man turned back to a tiny, flickering screen on the coffee table.
Joshua approached the arm of the sofa, pulling the cloth out of his mouth, staring at the smartphone with a mix of surprise and awe. The cracked screen was alive with flowing light and motion. Joshua couldn't recall the last time he'd seen a lit screen, but then again, he hadn't really been looking.
“What are you watching?” Joshua asked.
“Demon Slayer.” the young man replied. His voice was dry and cracking, but still filled with youthful energy. “It's a kind of Japanese cartoon. It's really good. I was actually going to visit Japan, y'know, before this all happened. I had this whole show saved on my phone for the plane ride so… I figured I might as well finish it.”
Another moment passed.
“Looks cool.” Joshua finally said, then glancing around the room. “Do you have any-”
“Food?” the young man finished. “No. I ran out yesterday."
“Shame.” Joshua said. “You know they'll see the light, right?”
“Huh?” the young man asked, looking away from the screen. The credits had begun to roll. A foreign, melancholy song played on the tiny speaker. “Ah… you mean the starving ones. Yeah, I figured they might. I don't really care much anymore. I'm too tired. I'm tired of scavenging and being hungry all the damn time. I don't care if they find me… but hey, looks like you found me instead!”
He smiled. His teeth were yellow. His gums were pale pink. “Isn't that lucky? It's been a long time since I had anyone to talk to. So, tell me friend, what is your theory? Why don't they die?”
Joshua didn't reply.
“Everyone had a theory, you know, back in the early days; back when there was food. The internet was alive with speculation! How could it not be? This is like something out of a horror film! I mean, sure, they're not quite zombies; they still think, and talk, and- well, they're still human… I think. They're just starving people who don't seem to die. Still pretty damn scary, huh?”
Joshua didn't reply.
“So! What do you think?” the man asked, head falling to one side. “Super virus? Alien mind control? Some kind of government experiment?”
After another long, painfully quiet moment, the man finally asked what should have been his first question. “Why are you here?”
Slowly, and without a hint of malice, Joshua raised his machete.
“Ah, of course.” the young man said, looking back at the coffee table, folding his hands in his lap.
“You're hungry.”

SCP-5055.

Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-5055 is no longer possible. An LK-Class “Agni Unbound” restructuring event has already occurred.
Description: SCP-5055 is a small chest composed of ivory, bronze, and stained wood. This chest was recovered from an archaeological dig-site beneath the ruins of Ancient Constantinople, sealed in a 6m2 cube of solid caementicium, or roman concrete. When touched, SCP-5055 instills an intense sensation of dread.
On January 1st, 2020, D-6106 was instructed to open SCP-5055, as to ascertain its contents.

Inside SCP-5055 was something everyone deserves.

A single handwritten note was also present inside SCP-5055, which read
> "SORRY! PLEASE TRY AGAIN!" <

« SCP-5054 | SCP-5055 | SCP-5056 »


close

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⚠ Content warning: This work of fiction involves scenes which depict or allude to topics which may be particularly distressing for some readers.

Emotional Abuse

⚠ content warning
Item #: SCP-5057
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5057 is contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber. Excess fluids are to be cleaned as necessary. Consumption of SCP-5057 is strictly forbidden.
SCP-5057 has been assigned to the GoI-3861 research team.
Description: SCP-5057 is a humanoid automaton made of polypropylene plastic, roughly resembling a clown. It is sentient and capable of speech, despite lacking the necessary organs to do so. Though it is capable of movement, SCP-5057 is mostly still and only appears to move when necessary. SCP-5057 secretes a continuous amount of ethylene glycol (CH2OH)22 on its surface, which coats the plastic it is made out of. The entity claims to be fully edible and repeatedly encourages personnel who interact with it to consume it.
Addendum 5057.01: Attached Document
The following note was attached to SCP-5057 at the time of discovery.

Hi, kids! Now you are the proud owner of Señor Taste, who is the Tiny Señor line of Professor Funtastic! Try to collect all the fun for hours!
Let your señors here for fun! Pick up all the señors, super fun! Fun for you! Fun of your friends!

Señor Boom!
Señor Fluff!
Señor Senor!!
Señor Senorita!!
Señor Fun!
Señor Hole!
Señor Pig!
Señor Purple!
Señor Taste!

Addendum 5057.02: The following interviews/interactions were recorded by the GoI-386 Research Team during initial containment.

+ Interview 5057.01

- Close

From:
jeverwood@scp.int

To:
site55containment@scp.int

Subject:
Erroneous Assignment

To whom it may concern,
Why on earth was I sent SCP-5057? It's not a Wondertainment product and it's taking away from my containment budget. I assigned one of my Junior Researchers to talk to it and keep it busy for the time being, but I need it reevaluated soon. Please respond ASAP.

Dr. J. Everwood
GoI-386 Research Lead
Secure, Contain, Protect

<BEGIN LOG>
Rex: Good morning.Rex: Actually, I'm just here to talk.Rex: No, but that's actually part of what I'm here to talk to you about.Rex: Indeed! Now, let's begin. It says here you are coated in ethylene glycol?Rex: Well, that's the thing. It's a toxic substance.Rex: Well, you're just plain wrong on that. And even if you weren't leaking ethylene glycol, you're still a choking hazard because you're made of plastic.Rex: Yes. You're like if someone tried making a really shitty Little Mister.Rex: Don't worry about it. But back on the subject, you're toxic to consume, and that's why you're here. Well, that and the fact you talk.Rex: We'll go over this again. You are made of plastic and ethylene glycol. You're toxic.Rex: Come on, you can talk. Surely you can think, can't you?Rex: That's the spirit.
[There is a fifteen second silence.]
Rex: Anything?Rex: I'll leave you to it then. You let me know if you get any thoughts in that little pea brain of yours.
<END LOG>

From:
site55containment@scp.int

To:
jeverwood@scp.int

Subject:
RE:Erroneous Assignment

Hello,
I don't understand. It's a humanoid, it's got the paper with the list on it, and it's even got a gimmick. How is that not Wondertainment?
TICKET NUMBER: 23452263-A

Hermes Pratt
Site-55 Containment Team
Secure, Contain, Protect

From:
jeverwood@scp.int

To:
site55containment@scp.int

Subject:
RE:Erroneous Assignment

Hermes,
And yet you get the Misters Against Weed to the right people? This is a crappy knockoff if anything. It for sure isn't Wondertainment, any schmuck off the street could tell you that. Do I need to go into your office and shove my Wondertainment dissertation in your faces?
Anyway, I thought I'd save you some trouble and have my assistant start building a relationship with SCP-5057 to make questioning it easier. It doesn't seem very smart, so I have suggested he try befriending it.

Dr. J. Everwood
GoI-386 Research Lead
Secure, Contain, Protect

+ Interview 5057.02

- Close

<BEGIN LOG>
Rex: Good morning. How are you feeling today?Rex: Ah, so you're thinking about what I told you last time? I wasn't sure you had it in you.Rex: Theoretically. I mean, you're -
[SCP-5057 interrupts Researcher Rex.]Rex: It could be any reason. Maybe whoever made you is a sicko. Maybe they just don't know any better. All we can say for sure is that you're here now because of them.Rex: You sure are. But you know, you can pick up hobbies and try something to get your mind off of it.Rex: You managed to think, I'm sure you could figure it out if you tried.Rex: Of course I do.[Rex sighs.]
Rex: Okay. So, you understand that you're toxic. That's good. But it sounds like maybe it's eating at you. May I suggest something to help get your mind off of things?Rex: Why don't you try painting?Rex: Well, you just sort of illustrate how you're feeling using paint and whatnot. Like you just create whatever is on your mind and you put it to paper. Or in this case, canvas.Rex: That's the spirit, friend.Rex: A friend is someone who is there for you and shares in good times and bad, and always makes you feel better. Someone you trust completely.
(There is a ten-second silence.)Rex: That's awful sweet of you. So you'll tell me everything then?Rex: And you trust me too?Rex: Good. That's good. Since you trust me, why don't I give you a cool new nickname?Rex: I'll call you Taste. How does that sound?Rex: Why don't we get you some art supplies so you can busy yourself, huh?
<END LOG>

From:
site55containment@scp.int

To:
jeverwood@scp.int

Subject:
RE:TICKET NUMBER: 23452263-A

Hello,
We will be moving SCP-5057 to general humanoid containment within the week. We apologize for the mix-up and will endeavor to make sure this does not happen in the future.

Hermes Pratt
Site-55 Containment Team
Secure, Contain, Protect

+ Interview 5057.03

- Close

From:
site55containment@scp.int

To:
jeverwood@scp.int

Subject:
RE:TICKET NUMBER: 23452263-A

Hello,
You mentioned earlier that you had your assistant build rapport with SCP-5057. Maybe now would be a good time to press it for information on its history? We finally assembled a team for the project and idle hands are the devil's playthings after all.
Thanks in advance.

Hermes Pratt
Site-55 Containment Team
Secure, Contain, Protect

Portrait produced by SCP-5057.

<BEGIN LOG>
Rex: Good morning, Taste.Rex: Oh?
[SCP-5057 picks up a canvas with a crudely painted image of two individuals. One resembles SCP-5057 and the other is labeled 'REX'.]
Rex: Aw. That's… cute, I guess. Thank you.Rex: Maybe you'll get better with time. But for now, I have some questions I wanted to ask you.Rex: I wanted to ask you some more about Professor Funtastic. What do you know about them?Rex: Do you think he had any ill will? Considering he made you toxic to consume and all?Rex: I see. So cutting corners and not wasting a dime. Did he ever mention Dr. Wondertainment, by any chance? Perhaps they were associates? Competitors, even?Rex: And do you know where his base of operations is?Rex: Hmm… aren't we friends, Taste? Friends tell each other everything.Rex: Perfect! So tell me, where is Professor Funtastic?Rex: Do you know what other names he goes by?Rex: Do you know if he's got any abilities? Like anything to help him create anomalies like you?Rex: Do you know anything? Anything at all?[Rex sighs.]Rex: You know, friends aren't supposed to let other friends down. You're kind of letting me down here, Taste.Rex: Then tell me, your friend, everything you know about Professor Funtastic.Rex: Hmm… I'm not sure I believe you.
[SCP-5057 begins weeping.]Rex: Alright, fine.
[Rex pats SCP-5057 on the back. The sleeve of his lab coat is coated in ethylene glycol.]
Rex: Ugh.
[Rex stands and removes his lab coat, wiping his hand with it.]
Rex: I gotta go for now, bud. Thanks again.<END LOG>

From:
jeverwood@scp.int

To:
site55containment@scp.int

Subject:
RE:TICKET NUMBER: 23452263-A

Please do hurry with the transfer, I'm stretched a bit thin and can't afford to have my assistant waste time pretending to be friends with this thing. I've told him to drop the act moving forward.

Dr. J. Everwood
GoI-386 Research Lead
Secure, Contain, Protect

- Close

+ Interview 5057.04

- Close

<BEGIN LOG>
Rex: Hello.
[Rex drags a cart into the containment chamber.]Rex: I'm here to make sure everything is in order before you leave. You're being moved to a new containment area.Rex: It's just how things go.Rex: That's entirely up to you.Rex: Sure.Rex: Stop asking me questions.Rex: It's just the way things are.[There is a thirty-second silence while Rex moves SCP-5057's paintings onto a cart.]
Rex: Well guess what? No one here cares about how you feel.Rex: Of course you don't understand. You're just a stupid little plastic failure of a children's product.
[Rex opens the containment chamber door and pushes the cart through.]Rex: That's not my problem, SCP-5057.Rex: I'm not your friend.Rex: We are not friends, SCP-5057. Do not press this further.Rex: No. I never was your friend.
(There is a ten-second silence.)
<END LOG>

Addendum 5057.02: SCP-5057 has been moved to a dedicated containment team. Please click this link for further details.

Footnotes
1. Doctor Wondertainment.
2. An odorless, viscous, toxic fluid with a sweet taste typically used in the production of anti-freeze and polyester fibers.

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« SCP-5056 | SCP-5057 | SCP-5058 »


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SCP-5058 — Our Normal Fellow Humans
Jam contest 2020 entry for the 3st, "More than meets the eye", theme.
My other work for this contest: SCP-4629
~~ More Alan Stuff ~~

Item #: SCP-5058
Object Class: Keter

An image sent by SCP-5058-1197 on 2005/05/09, accompanied by a message "Gathering with fellow humans".

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the remarkably large number of SCP-5058 instances within the general population, standard detainment strategy has been deemed ineffective.
Foundation tracking devices are to be implanted into SCP-5058 instances and monitored on a regular basis. MTF-Xi-3 ("Body Snatchers") is tasked with bringing newly discovered instances to the nearest Foundation site for medical examination and testing. Interactions with SCP-5058 instances are to be conducted by personnel with a high coefficient of cognitive resistance. Detained entities are to be tracked, amnestized, and released to the general population. Standard disinformation campaigns are to be enacted if deemed necessary.
Foundation Satellite "Ptolemy EF-65" is to intercept and transcribe SCP-5058's transmissions sent to the Earth's orbit.
Description: SCP-5058 are entities that visually resemble Homo sapiens (humans), but possess a number of physical and behavioral alterations caused by unknown factors.
SCP-5058 instances constantly demonstrate minor muscle spasms in different parts of their bodies, change facial expressions with no apparent pattern and perform actions in an agitated, rapid manner. In most cases, SCP-5058's body language does not correspond to their speech and supposed mental state. The entities are also unable to vocalize or otherwise demonstrate signs of emotional distress under any circumstances. Notably, individuals without cognitive training or natural memetic resistance will always perceive the instances' behavior as normal.
SCP-5058's internal biology is inconsistent with that of baseline Homo sapiens. The vast majority of examined instances are missing at least one non-vital organ and possess varying abnormalities in their body and brain structure. In ~80% of observed cases, the entities' hippocampus and lobes differed in size and form from that of a normal individual. Presumably, such changes enhance SCP-5058's cognitive functions such as memory and sensual perception, but the exact method is unclear.
Each of the instances also possesses a small (~ 2 cm in diameter) organic growth visually resembling a tumor, located between the cerebellum and occipital lobe. Through testing, it was discovered that the growth enables entities to emit signals similar to low-frequency radio waves. SCP-5058's transmissions consist of encrypted images and messages detailing their daily life, the latest events they deem important, conversations with "fellow humans",1 and observations of their surroundings. The destination of the transmissions is unknown; the signals that were not intercepted soon left Earth's atmosphere and their track was lost shortly after.
The entities' biological anomalies are likewise invisible for individuals with no memetic resistance and will typically remain undetected during medical examinations.

Addendum.5058.1: Discovery Log

The first SCP-5058 instance was found during the Summer of 1990 in the United States. Over the next two decades, 2550 more instances were discovered in major population centers and urban areas around the world. Prior to their discovery, the entities lived an active social life, maintaining high numbers of interpersonal connections, frequently visiting public areas and attending various gatherings. Approximately ten percent of the instances also had families. In all observed cases, the individuals in contact with SCP-5058 were fully unaware of the entities' unusual behavior.
The investigation into SCP-5058's origins did not reveal any conflicting data regarding the entities' identities or memories of their supposed parents. However, discovered police reports indicate that at least twenty percent of SCP-5058 instances previously went missing at some point in their lives, typically for a period of one to three days. Following their return, the individuals explained their absence by mundane circumstances such as getting lost or taking a short personal vacation. Closer inspection by embedded personnel revealed that the provided information was false.

Addendum.5058.2: Incident Log

At 0300 hours on 2010/03/12, "Ptolemy EF-65" ceased to intercept radio signals sent by SCP-5058 instances. A malfunction was suspected and a crew of technicians was assembled to inspect the satellite's system. However, at 0700 hours, the satellite became active again and started to transmit radio signals presumably of extraterrestrial origin. This transmission was encoded identically to those received from SCP-5058. The ground personnel stationed at Site-221 immediately began transcribing the signal's contents. The employees discovered a series of images depicting the night sky, stars, planets of the solar system and their natural satellites. Several unidentified symbols were also observed, as well as images depicting SCP-5058's daily lives sent in their previous signals.
All present individuals with a high coefficient of cognitive resistance became agitated upon perceiving the images. This state gradually escalated to extreme hysteria within an hour, reportedly due to overwhelming feelings of sadness, grief, and guilt for the employees' previous actions regarding SCP-5058 and related phenomena. A total of ten personnel were treated with sedative medication and isolated until the end of the event.
At 1200 hours, it became apparent that the transmission was sent to 41 other Foundation Sites in which personnel with high cognitive resistance resided. Whether it was a human mistake, a server error or an anomalous phenomenon is currently unknown. The transmission's leakage led to 110 individuals being affected, and 31 suicide attempts across the affected sites. The signal was successfully isolated and contained at 1600 hours.
It is theorized that the transmission contained some form of an infohazard or memetic construct, which was aimed at bypassing human cognitive resistance. The personnel's state normalized within several hours following the incident. However, it was noted that affected people became unable to discern an SCP-5058 instance from a regular Homo sapiens. The subjects also showed reluctance regarding working on any projects related to SCP-5058 or discussing the incident, 80% of the interviewed asked to be reassigned immediately after their state normalized.
One of the images sent via the signal was later found out to contain an inscription written in a mixture of several human languages. Presumably, the message was composed of words sent by SCP-5058 instances in the past transmissions. The image was replicated in the interest of safety and translated into English.

► Open: MESSAGE-5058.22.jpg

▼ Close: MESSAGE-5058.22.jpg

Footnotes
1. The way SCP-5058 instances refer to all other individuals.

« SCP-5057 | SCP-5058 | SCP-5059 »


2/5059 LEVEL 2/5059
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5059

Safe

SCP-5059 at time of discovery.

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-5059 is stored in a standard high value anomalous item locker in the Safe Objects wing of Site-17, Sublevel 2, locker 09932.
Instances of SCP-5059-1 must be contained under HCP1 1 through 3, depending on the properties of the instance's altered vehicular state, until their expiration. No more than 10 instances of SCP-5059-1 may be retained for study at this time.
Testing with SCP-5059 can only be approved by the item's HMCL Supervisor (Currently Dr. Albert Frampton).

Description:
SCP-5059 is a VHS video tape containing the 1986 animated film Transformers: The Movie. The cassette shows no special resistance to damage or age related wear. Tape spools contained therein have proven to be portable to other cassette cases when its current housing breaks while retaining anomalous properties. Direct copies of SCP-5059 retain the item's anomalous properties, but have been destroyed subsequent to verification. D-Class asset review of the content of SCP-5059 does not reveal any deviation from the original cinematic release of Transformers: The Movie according to the best of their memory, and machine analysis of the contents of each tape reveals their content to be identical.
The anomalous properties of SCP-5059 only manifest after a complete viewing of the film2. After its completion, subjects report an anomalous desire to emulate the characters depicted in the film. Within the first hour after viewing SCP-5059, the subject (now designated SCP-5059-1) will spontaneously reorganize their biology into the form of a functional scale model vehicle.
Instances of SCP-5059-1 do not create additional matter, or change the chemical composition of their flesh during a "Roll-Out event". The color, texture, and durability of SCP-5059-1's tissues also remains the same. SCP-5059-1 instances universally describe the process as incredibly painful, with many transformations requiring the breaking and reshaping of bones, tearing and reforming of ligaments, and complete reconfiguration of organ systems, as well as many forms of rapid tissue growth as in the case of windows and signal lights. This discomfort subsides immediately upon the event's completion, and may be initiated again, at will, at any time. Removal of clothing prior to initiation has proven to drastically reduce this discomfort.
For more details, please see Experiment Log TF-5059-01 through -05.

Experimentation Logs:

TF-5059-01

Subject: SCP-5059-1a (Charlie Bookbinder, m, age 17)
Vehicular form: 1973/74 Dodge Challenger; Scale 1:5.
Summary: Instance discovered outside containment in February 2017. No change in mass. Subject's eyes translocated, duplicated, and became capable of bioluminescence to serve as headlights. Braincase was relocated into the lower front chassis. Heart and digestive system rearranged to serve as engine and fuel system respectively. Heart and lungs accessible under "hood" constructed of skin and upper ribcage. Tires composed primarily of highly keratinized skin. Power windows and windscreen composed of translucent keratin material similar in composition to finger/toenails. Interior consists of mucus membrane tissue. Maximum dynamometer rating of 192 bhp at wheels.
Current Status: SCP-5059-1a attempted to breach containment prior to planned exploratory surgery on its vehicular form. Instance accelerated down Site-17 medical wing hallway reaching a top speed of approx 80 km/h. Failed to slow in time for 90 degree turn and collided with a concrete block wall. Braincase destroyed. Cardiopulmonary system destroyed. Instance expired within 2 minutes of impact.

TF-5059-02

Subject: SCP-5059-1b (D-8229, f, age 40)
Vehicular form: Late model Cessna 178 Skyhawk; Scale 1:3
Summary: Similar interior and windscreen materials to previous tests. Wings appear to have been derived from translocated ribs and chest muscles. Elevators derived from scapular bones. Propeller blades are covered with enamel, suggesting that they are modified Incisors. Mobile control surfaces of the aircraft constructed of cartilage. Eyes emerged within cockpit seat, allowing SCP-5059-1b to have a pilot's eye view while transformed. Instance is capable of powered flight. Top Speed, 100 knts.
Current Status: During powered flight testing at a Foundation airfield in Nevada, SCP-5059-1b experienced heat exhaustion brought on by overexertion of her cardiopulmonary system necessary to keep her in flight. Instance appears to have lost consciousness at an altitude of 400m. Consciousness was regained at approximately 50m altitude, resulting in rapid corrective action. Landing gear and ventral fuselage damaged, but instance survived. Subsequent reconfiguration from vehicle to human mode reveals severe fracturing of tibia and fibula, and multiple lacerations to lower abdominal region. Instance remanded to containment under HCP-2 following recovery. No further testing is authorized on this instance.

TF-5059-03

Subject: SCP-5059-1c (D-8238, m, age 25)
Vehicular form: M4 Sherman Tank; Scale 1:10
Summary: Subject has a history of masochism and was willing to initiate "Roll Out" events with much greater frequency than past instances. Main cannon derived from elongation and expansion of the T-4 Vertebral section. Treads derived from multiplied and altered rib cage, stretched over wheel muscles which move the treads via peristalsis. Turret is fully functional, constructed primarily of cranial bones and still housing the brain and eyes. Instance is capable of pulling a fully loaded railroad freight car when properly harnessed.
Current Status: During testing of SCP-5059-1c's testing in the Site-17 armory, the instance was instructed to fire its cannon, to which it readily complied. SCP-5059-1c's heart was ejected from the main cannon at a rate of 257 m/s. Instance expired of exsanguination within 90 seconds.

TF-5059-04

Subject: SCP-5059-1d (Junior Researcher Marco del Gutierrez, m, 29)
Vehicular form: 1970 Volkswagen Beetle, Scale 1:3
Summary: Accidental exposure due to copy-testing by the AV department. JR Gutierrez was not informed of the anomalous properties of SCP-5059, and observed the copy process personally to guarantee the fidelity of the recording. SCP-5059 has since been flagged as cognitohazardous material to prevent future accidents of this nature. As in previous test, eyes have enlarged and taken on bioluminescence. Cranial cavity has expanded to make room for the forward cargo compartment, and all cardiopulmonary functions are translocated to the rear abdominal cavity. SCP-5059-1d is capable of 50 bhp at the wheels. Otherwise similar to SCP-5059-1a in composition.
Current Status: SCP-5059-1d remains in indefinite containment under HCP-1. Exploratory surgery is not authorized for this instance. SCP-5059-1d has expressed satisfaction with current vehicular form and has not attempted to return to its original humanoid body plan, citing personal preference. Instance retains Level 1 Clearance and is authorized to assist in janitorial and administrative tasks.

TF-5059-05

Subject: SCP-5059-1e (D-8302, nb, 20)
Vehicular form: Saturn V lift vehicle; Scale 1:61
Summary: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Current Status: Remains impacted in the northern face of Mt. Marion, Luna.
HMCL Note: No, I will not describe how to reconfigure human biology into a viable rocket fuel and lift vehicle. Sarkics with jetpacks are the absolute last thing that we need.
- Dr. Frampton

Footnotes
1. Humanoid Containment Protocol: a set of 4 standardized protocols for dealing with progressively more destructively powerful anomalous humanoids.
2. Defined as watching from time marker 0:00:01 to 1:23:00.

« SCP-5058 | SCP-5059 | SCP-5060 »


SCP-5060 as viewed from an SCP Foundation probe. SCP-5060's numerous satellites have been digitally removed.

Item #: SCP-5060
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Physical containment of SCP-5060 is currently impossible. As such, Foundation efforts are to be focused on the reduction of public awareness of SCP-5060.
Foundation Operatives within the International Astronomical Union are to report on any ongoing scientific investigation into the star HD 4560. A Foundation-operated web crawler (I/O-APHRODITE) is to monitor online communities for discussions/media regarding SCP-5060. MTF Gamma-5 ("Red Herrings") is to investigate these discussions and provide needed amnesticization/cover-up on a case-by-case basis.
Project Heimdall currently employs modified exploratory probes in order to study SCP-5060. These probes are equipped with advanced sensor suites as well as FTL propulsion systems reverse-engineered from the study of SCP-2117. Secondary mission objectives are pending approval contingent upon the inhabitants of SCP-5060 possessing interstellar travel.
Description: SCP-5060 is a terrestrial exoplanet, roughly 0.95 times the radius and 0.9 times the mass of Earth, in orbit around the star HD 4560. The planet's atmosphere consists of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, argon, and sulfur dioxide, as determined by Foundation probes. Due to the density of the atmosphere, the planet's surface cannot be viewed via visible light from space. At the time of writing, attempts to land probes on the planet have uniformly resulted in the loss of communication with the probe upon entry of SCP-5060's atmosphere.
SCP-5060 has an unusually high number of satellites for its size, with 1260 total as of January 2020. Each satellite is roughly spherical with an average radius of 50 km and is located within the synchronous orbit of SCP-5060. Every 15-26 years, SCP-5060 ejects or launches a new satellite via an unknown mechanism which settles into a similar orbit.1 As a result, it is believed that SCP-5060 hosts an extraterrestrial civilization of some kind.
Examination of these satellites via Foundation probes has determined them to be composed primarily of marble, granite, and quartzite coated in a transparent polymer. Each satellite contains a central hollow chamber. Remote excavation of these chambers has uncovered thousands of ferrous spheres placed within small cavities. These spheres contain a fine powder consisting of carbon, calcium, phosphorus, and other trace elements.
Use of Foundation probes occasionally provokes an aggressive response from SCP-5060 in the form of a 20kg ferrous slug fired at 0.1c. These attacks have the highest chance of occurring when excavation probes attempt to recover material from the satellites. To date, no probes have escaped or survived such an attack and the energy of the projectile makes later recovery impossible.
Attempts at establishing remote radio contact with the inhabitants of SCP-5060 have been met with failure, with no forms of telecommunication broadcasts detectable on SCP-5060's surface. Proposals for additional strategies to determine the technological/biological capabilities of SCP-5060's inhabitants are currently pending review.
Addendum: Update 03/03/2020
At 0800 UTC Project Heimdall defense satellites detected incoming extraterrestrial bodies that proceeded to impact Earth within a period of half an hour. A series of 28 projectiles were recovered from several impact locations around the globe. These locations included:

Arlington National Cemetery
Brookwood Cemetery
The Great Pyramid of Giza
The Taj Mahal
Several cave systems in Indiana

Members of MTF Gamma-5 have been mobilized to reduce the public fallout following this barrage, with the cover story of a previously unknown meteor shower.
Examination of these projectiles found them to be similar to the ones launched from SCP-5060 at Foundation probes. Each projectile had a hollow center and contained one of the 27 Foundation probes previously believed to have been lost in SCP-5060's atmosphere. Additionally, the 28th projectile contained an iron copy of the Voyager Golden Record in which all imagery of humans are scratched out. An additional etching is present on the record in an indecipherable script. It is unknown how the inhabitants of SCP-5060 came into possession of this object, given that neither Voyager I or II have traveled within the vicinity of SCP-5060.
Analysis of the trajectory of the projectiles from data gathered by the Project Heimdall satellites has suggested their origin as the planet Venus. Attempts by Foundation assets to investigate the Venusian surface for potential colonies of the inhabitants of SCP-5060 have been met with similar failures as the investigation of SCP-5060, with loss of communication with probes upon entry into the Venusian atmosphere.

Footnotes
1. This has increased from an average of 8-14 years at the time of SCP-5060's discovery by the Foundation in 1956. To date, the longest observed gap between new satellite appearances is 35 years. The shortest gap between new satellite appearances has been 14 minutes, during a period in which seven new satellites appeared within a four-hour window.

« SCP-5059 | SCP-5060 | SCP-5061 »


by J Dune

Item#: 5061

Level2

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
dark

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

@
@

SCP-5061, outside of its protective casing.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5061 is to be stored inside Area-179's Secure Media Archive.1
Access to SCP-5061 is limited to the researcher assigned to Project-5061-Telephone. Interaction is to be carried out once every 24 hours for the purpose of collecting information regarding SCP-5061 and Entity-5061-1, and all interaction is to be recorded.2
Description: SCP-5061 is a 35 mm film reel encased in an unlabeled container. SCP-5061 holds approximately 305 m of film3- all of which is blank.
Despite holding the equivalent of 11 minutes worth of film, SCP-5061 will run indefinitely when played. Upon projection, SCP-5061 displays the image of a dressing room, in which Entity-5061-1 will be present. From information provided by SCP-5061-A, this dressing room is located on the set of the 1942 Warner Brothers production Yankee Doodle Dandy. SCP-5061 can be projected once every 24 hours. Attempting to play SCP-5061 after stopping the projector will result in a blank screen. This will continue until the 24 hour period between projections is over.
Entity-5061-1 is a young woman that is present during projections of SCP-5061. The entity can be interacted with by those viewing SCP-5061, and has given no indication of anomalous origin or intent. Entity-5061-1 refers to itself as 'Elizabeth Connors', and has provided a mass of information regarding itself and the nature of SCP-5061. No such name appears in the credits for Yankee Doodle Dandy, nor does the likeness of Entity-5061-1 appear in any known cut of the film. Search of records from various acting agencies and studio archives from the era to match the likeness and description of Entity-5061-1 is ongoing.
Information provided by Entity-5061-1 and upon acquisition of the object4 indicates that projecting SCP-5061 acts as a conduit between two separate points in time- one in the present, and one in 1942. Because of the viewpoint provided through projection and references by Entity-5061-1 itself, it is known that Entity-5061-1 can 'see' its viewers through its dressing room mirror. Regardless of what time SCP-5061 is successfully projected,5 Entity-5061-1 will always perceive the event as occurring around 20:00.
Addendum 5061.1: Acquisition
SCP-5061 was acquired by MTF Mu-3 ("Highest Bidders") from an auction held by Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. on 5/10/2020. An excerpt from the bidder's guide is displayed below.

B8O45/GTS72/54V8X

Status
Selling

Demand
High

Value
85000USD

Availability
Unique

Identifier
The Woman in the Reel

Description
A film reel that- when played- accesses a window to the past- specifically, the dressing room of a 1940s actress by the name of Elizabeth Connors. The viewer is able to interact with Elizabeth, and vice-versa. Elizabeth is able to be talked to once every 24 hours for an indefinite amount of time, or- at least until she has other things to do. To cease interaction, simply turn the projector off, and remove the reel.

Marshall, Carter and Dark, LLP

@
Addendum 5061.2: Project-5061-Telephone
In order to gain information about and to thoroughly investigate SCP-5061, Project-5061-Telephone was established and assigned to a sole researcher- Dr. Edward Dune. Transcripts of Dr. Dune's logs are listed below.

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone.T – 5/11/2020

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Project-5061-Telephone.5/11/2020 Video Log Transcript
Date: 5/11/2020
Subject: Entity-5061-1
Interviewer: Dr. Edward Dune- Senior Researcher, Area-179
Foreword: Project-5061-Telephone interactions are conducted in Area-179's Media Viewing Theater. Per written request of Dr. Dune, protective glass separating the screen and the viewer has been removed.
Note- Dr. Dune: My eyesight's bad enough without the annoying glare. I seriously doubt MCD would sell an item without informing bidders that there's a risk something's going to jump out of the screen and kill you. Actually- I wouldn't put it past them. Whatever. Remove the glass. If anything happens, I could probably deal with it anyway. - Dr. Edward Dune

<Begin Recording>
<The image of Entity-5061-1 removing cosmetics is projected onto the screen>
Dr. Dune: This is Doctor Edward D-
Entity-5061-1: <subject yells in surprise> Jesus Christ- not again! You know, I was getting used to not having strange men stare at me in my dressing room.
Dr. Dune: You can hear, correct?
Entity-5061-1: Oh, he's British. Yes, I'm able to hear you. I can see you too, you know.
Dr. Dune: Figured. I'm assuming you prefer 'Elizabeth'?
Entity-5061-1: It's my God-given name, sir. And you haven't even introduced yourself!
Dr. Dune: Right, right- Doctor Edward Dune. I'll be talking to you for the next couple of days. Is this alright with you?
Entity-5061-1: I suppose I don't have much of a choice, do I?
Dr. Dune: You don't. Let's start with s-
Entity-5061-1: Questions, right? Always questioning. Questioning me, treating me like I'm thick- "Can you leave the room? What day is it?"- Yes, I can leave the room! I'm as real as- well, as real as I think you are.
Dr. Dune: Wasn't doubting your existence, Elizabeth. I'd just like to ask you some questions.
Entity-5061-1: How about I ask you some questions?
Dr. Dune: That'd be sufficient.
Entity-5061-1: Sufficient. You're quite distinguished, aren't you, Doctor? Just, answer me this- are you, or, all of you people- oh- it's ridiculous. I couldn't-<sobbing>
Dr. Dune: Fucking Christ. Calm down. Look, look- the 'why' behind our communication is just as much of a mystery to me as it is to you, but that's not important. I need to figure out what you are, exactly-
Entity-5061-1: What I am? What are you talking about, sir? T-
Dr. Dune: What year is it, Elizabeth?
Entity-5061-1: Year?
Dr. Dune: I'll approach it this way. For me, it's 2020.
Entity-5061-1: You're insane. What do you mean? No, I thought about this- and, oh God. You're government, right? It has to be government. I'm an experiment, aren't I? Men from the future, and- oh, it's just ridiculous!
Dr. Dune: Why don't you try to tell me about yourself, or where you are? Just, close your eyes and tell me about yourself. Things that are true to you. If you're in distress, we'd be able to help, Elizabeth.
Entity-5061-1: Distress? Heavens n- um, okay, I'll try. My name is- uh, Elizabeth Connors. I'm an actress, or at least- that's what people say. It's bit roles and extra work, mostly. I'm not a Barrymore, or a Stanwyck, but I- I like what I do. The cameras, meeting new people- it's pleasant- when the work's there, of course. My uncle's a producer- Oh! I think I'm getting ahead of myself.
Dr. Dune: You're doing fine, Elizabeth.
<pause>
Entity-5061-1: It's okay, sir. I'm not as fat-headed as I may look. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and, well- you're from the future. You said it yourself. They've all said it. I'm accepting it. For me- it's January 3rd, 1941. For you, it's two-thousand and-?
Dr. Dune: Twenty.
Entity-5061-1: Heavens.
<pause>
Entity-5061-1: You seem a little more talkative than the others.
Dr. Dune: How many people have you talked to?
Entity-5061-1: Just a few. Asked me all sorts of strange questions. I was doing my hair, and then all of a sudden four men were in my mirror. Gave me quite a shock, sir. They were always brief- came around for only a couple minutes a night.
Dr. Dune: Mirror, huh? Ah, that makes sense.
Entity-5061-1: It only happened for a week or so, right around the middle of December. Same time every night, right around 8 o'clock. I thought I was going mad! Eventually, I just accepted it. At first, I wanted to talk to a doctor, and- oh, well- I guess I'm talking to one now.
<Dune writes on his notepad>
Dr. Dune: Shit works out, doesn't it?
Entity-5061-1: <gasping> You're a vulgar doctor, too- talking like that to a woman! I presume manners and a professionalism aren't a staple of the scientific community in 2020, either.
Dr. Dune: Hmm? Oh, sorry.
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> I'm playing with you, sir. If you heard the things I hear everyday on set, your ears might fall off.
Dr. Dune: I doubt that. So, can you-
Entity-5061-1: You're not going to be much fun either, are you?
Dr. Dune: Probably not. I'm here to study you, Elizabeth. Your compliance makes this a lot easier. The sooner you answer my questions, the sooner you won't have to deal with strange men in your mirror.
Entity-5061-1: Well, you haven't been asking me much, sir. You don't have to be so rude when ta-
Dr. Dune: Alright, that's enough for tonight. Think about what I said. I have papers to revise. We'll be talking daily.
Entity-5061-1: Joy.
Dr. Dune: Hold on- I have to get up- reel's still in.
Entity-5061-1: What?
<Dr. Dune leaves his chair and moves towards the projector>
Dr. Dune: Nothing, don't worry about it.
<End Recording>

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone.T – 5/12/2020

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Project-5061-Telephone.5/12/2020 Video Log Transcript
Date: 5/12/2020
Subject: Entity-5061-1
Interviewer: Dr. Edward Dune- Senior Researcher, Area-179

<Begin Recording>
<The image of Entity-5061-1 is projected onto the screen>
Dr. Dune: Elizabeth?
Entity-5061-1: Right on time.
Dr. Dune: Hm. Do you remember what time we talked yesterday?
Entity-5061-1: Around eight?
Dr. Dune: What time is it now? Exactly?
Entity-5061-1: <glancing to the right> 7:55.
Dr. Dune: Interesting.
<Dune writes on his notepad>
Entity-5061-1: Why?
Dr. Dune: Observations. More for me than you.
Entity-5061-1: Why are you studying me, Doctor?
Dr. Dune: I said before, we're studying the means of communication between us. You just happen to be on the other end.
Entity-5061-1: But you're still studying me- taking notes and all.
Dr. Dune: What kind of researcher would I be if I didn't?
Entity-5061-1: Who are you?
Dr. Dune: Doctor E-
Entity-5061-1: Edward Dune, right. You work for the government, the military- something of the sort?
Dr. Dune: You could say that. I work for an organization that investigates things that aren't…normal. Right now, it's the way we're communicating. We study these things, keep them out of the wrong hands- allow the masses to spend their time watching films, or enjoy a day in the park. There's a veil of normalcy that has to be kept, and we're the ones in charge of keeping it.
Entity-5061-1: Well, you're quite important.
Dr. Dune: Very.
<Dune writes on his notepad>
Entity-5061-1: No time for film, or a day in the park, or being kind when you're responsible for protecting the world from God knows what, right?
Dr. Dune: Not really. Anyways, can you tell me a bit about your everyday routine?
Entity-5061-1: What is wrong with you? It's like you've never talked to another person before! You're rude, sir.
Dr. Dune: Alright, fine. I'll…I'll stop. I need to know about the nature of your world.
Entity-5061-1: The nature of my world? How about the nature of yours, sir? I'm not quite sure what you want from me. You're from the future, right? Just go look up 1942 in an encyclopedia if you're so curious about the nature of my world!
Dr. Dune: It isn't like that-
Entity-5061-1: Well, what is it like? Keeping secrets doesn't help anyone.
Dr. Dune: Fine- I have to figure out whether your 1942 and my 1942 are the same, or if we're looking at something more complex.
Entity-5061-1: What do you mean, "my" 1942? What kind of talk is that?
Dr. Dune: The kind of talk we specialize in, Elizabeth. Why don't you list off some significant events that have happened recently?
Entity-5061-1: Well, I'm not one for politics- but even I know the United States just entered the war.
Dr. Dune: I assumed from the accent, but you are in the United States- right?
Entity-5061-1: Burbank, California.
Dr. Dune: Do you know what prompted the entry into the war?
Entity-5061-1: Why, of course! Everyone knows that. The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor just last month.
Dr. Dune: That's good, Elizabeth. Means there's a possibility that we're operating on the same timeline, or a similar one, at least.
Entity-5061-1: Oh, right. Good.
<Dune writes on his notepad>
Entity-5061-1: Look, I understand that conversation isn't exactly your thing, so why don't I take the wheel?
Dr. Dune: It's not th-
Entity-5061-1: Just relax. Forget about the paperwork, or whatever you have to do after this. Let's just talk. If you're from the future, and- well, if we're on the same brainwave, or whatever you said- can you tell me what happens? With, uh, the war and all.
Dr. Dune: Well, It's not exactly protocol for interacting with time anomalies, but I think you can keep a secret, right?
Entity-5061-1: I never kiss and tell, sir.
Dr. Dune: I'm speaking English, aren't I?
<Entity-5061-1 smiles and holds its hands to its mouth>
Entity-5061-1: No. I didn't even thi-
Dr. Dune: Mhm.
Entity-5061-1: That's wonderful! I- I felt guilty about doing all of this, when the world's in chaos, and people are struggling- and I'm just here- dancing, singing, smiling. There's a war out there, and all I can do is play pretend.
Dr. Dune: Rosie the Riveter a thing yet?
Entity-5061-1: Who?
Dr. Dune: Oh, you just wait. No, Elizabeth- don't feel guilty. There's a saying where I'm from- about dying in the darkness, so others can live in the light. You're living in the light, Elizabeth. There's nothing wrong with that. World needs a little light sometimes.
Entity-5061-1: <sighing> Right. I suppose making people smile is a noble goal.
Dr. Dune: You're taking their minds off of what's going on out there. What you're doing is important. People like you- they're needed.
Entity-5061-1: Thank you, sir. I just felt-
Dr. Dune: Don't. Look, I'm sorry. In my line of work, I deal with a lot of inhumanity, literally and emotionally. Usually when I'm communicating with something- it's planting a memetic trigger in my cornea, or lashing out at me. I just wasn't sure-
Entity-5061-1: It's okay, sir. You didn't know if I was safe to talk to, or if I was a real person. I understand.
Dr. Dune: It's the reality of the job. I should've approached you more humanely. I realize you have hopes, fears, and you're undoubtedly living a life of your own.
Entity-5061-1: You're fine. Why don't we just talk? You can get your information, and I can have someone to talk to this late at night.
Dr. Dune: That'd be su- that'd be fine.
<pause>
Dr. Dune: You said you're on a movie set, right?
Entity-5061-1: Mhm, a Warner Brothers production. If that means anything to you.
Dr. Dune: Warner Brothers? Oh, Elizabeth- it does. They're still as big of a studio now as they were back then.
Entity-5061-1: Heavens! Really?
Dr. Dune: Of course. What's the movie? One of those gangster ones?
Entity-5061-1: Oh, it's not a crime film. It's a musical- Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Dr. Dune: Yankee Doodle? I think I've heard of that one before. I don't really have time for-
Entity-5061-1: <gasping> Really? I'm in a popular musical in the future!
Dr. Dune: Well, I wouldn't say popular.
Entity-5061-1: You've heard of it.
Dr. Dune: I've heard of a lot of movies, doesn't mean I've seen them.
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> You are so bitter.
Dr. Dune: Hard not to be when you're in my position.
Entity-5061-1: Oh please, I have to deal with Mr. Curtiz on a daily basis. You're just like him! You're on a deadline to get something done, so everyone else has to suffer.
Dr. Dune: I do not make people suffe-
Entity-5061-1: Why'd you get so short with me back there, hm, Mr. Curtiz?
Dr. Dune: I already apologized! It wasn't right.
Entity-5061-1: Mmm, I'm not convinced.
Dr. Dune: <laughing> I apologize, Elizabeth. I deal with my fair share of assholes above me, too. I don't want to be another asshole above you.
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> He is a bit of an- uh-
Dr. Dune: A what?
Entity-5061-1: An asshole. <laughing> I'm so sorry, I just- <laughing> I try not to talk like that.
Dr. Dune: If the man's an asshole, the man's an asshole- simple as that.
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> That's so bad! It's true though. We've been reshooting the same scene for the past week or so. A dance number. You'd think we'd have never danced in our lives from the way he talks to us. And don't even ask me about Joan- that bitch- the Prima Donna herself.
Dr. Dune: 'That bitch'? <laughing> You'll have to tell me about her.
Entity-5061-1: Oh, I think I will, sir. Tomorrow night. We're doing another shoot at 10 o'clock sharp, and it's one of her scenes. But, I think I'll be getting to bed now, if you don't mind.
Dr. Dune: No problem at all, Elizabeth- we got some good info from this one.
Entity-5061-1: And?
Dr. Dune: And?
Entity-5061-1: You had a pleasant conversation.
Dr. Dune: Yeah. I did. Thank you. Sorry about being a dick to you, yeah?
Entity-5061-1: It's okay. You're kind, when you want to be.
Dr. Dune: Now, don't say that. <laughing> Get some rest.
<Dune gets out of his seat to turn off the projector>
Entity-5061-1: Wait, sir. I have another question.
Dr. Dune: <Dune steps away from the projector and gestures> Shoot.
Entity-5061-1: Is it all worth it? This, I mean- Elizabeth Connors. Does that name mean anything to you?
<pause>
Dr. Dune: Yes, it does.
<Entity-5061-1 smiles and nods. Dune stops the projector and faces the camera.>
Dr. Dune: Elizabeth Connors.
<End Recording>

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone.T – 5/15/2020

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Project-5061-Telephone.5/15/2020 Video Log Transcript
Date: 5/15/2020
Subject: Entity-5061-1
Interviewer: Dr. Edward Dune- Senior Researcher, Area-179
Foreword: Dr. Dune and Entity-5061-1 have been maintaining daily communication up to this point. Logs have been omitted from this file for lack of overall relevance.

<Begin Recording>
<Entity-5061-1 is displayed onscreen>
Entity-5061-1: Doctor.
Dr. Dune: Well?
Entity-5061-1: <subject jumps up from its chair> I got into the audition!
Dr. Dune: Holy shit! I knew you had it in you!
Entity-5061-1: I talked to Mr. Zedder and he said he liked mine the best! I- I didn't even think I could get in, but-
Dr. Dune: That's fucking great, Liz. No, really. You earned this one, girl.
Entity-5061-1: A Universal picture! Doctor, could you imagine me- headlining a Universal picture? Ah, heavens- I could just see it!
Dr. Dune: Of course I can! You're a natural. That script you did last night? Top notch.
Entity-5061-1: Ah! I'm so happy!
Dr. Dune: Good thing I came prepared!
<Dr. Dune brandishes a bottle of wine, pops the cap, and begins drinking. He gestures towards the screen.>
Dr. Dune: Drink up.
Entity-5061-1: Directly from the bottle, doctor?
Dr. Dune: Not like I'm sharing it with anyone.
Entity-5061-1: You're sharing it with me.
Dr. Dune: Hmm, in a way. So, I was thinking- if you do get this role, or- hell, whenever this production's over and you move out of the dressing room- how are we going to talk?
Entity-5061-1: I, uh, never thought of that. I mean, I wouldn't mind staying here. It's not like I have anywhere else, and I'm already paying rent, and-
Dr. Dune: You know you can't do that.
Entity-5061-1: You're right. I guess I'll just have to buy the dresser itself.
Dr. Dune: With what money?
Entity-5061-1: Can't your Foundation anonymously wire some back in time?
Dr. Dune: <laughing> Anomalously. And no, don't think we have one of those yet.
Entity-5061-1: How am I supposed to know? You talk about pictures that kill you, and portals to other worlds- but you don't have a way to drop pennies from heaven?
Dr. Dune: There's a Foundation back in your time, you know. You should find them. <laughing> Maybe they'll pay for the dresser. I'm sure they'd love to interact with a future version of their little pet project. Oh God, that'd be terrible. Please don't do that, Liz.
Entity-5061-1: Wasn't planning on it. Besides, I wouldn't even know where to find you people.
Dr. Dune: Oh, we're around. More common than you think.
Entity-5061-1: Do you like what you do?
<pause>
Dr. Dune: No. No, Liz. I don't.
Entity-5061-1: If you don't want to talk about it-
Dr. Dune: It's fine. I figured we'd cross this bridge eventually.
Entity-5061-1: Really, doctor- I apologize for asking.
Dr. Dune: Unfortunately, I didn't come to the Foundation by choice. It's family work, in a line of business that death is particularly fond of. You're always left with more questions than answers, and sometimes you go looking for those answers. What you come back with isn't always what you wanted. I'm rambling- sorry.
Entity-5061-1: Why don't you leave?
Dr. Dune: I can't. They want me. Easier to watch me this way. I leave, I end up just like you- a number and a file to be catalogued and stored in the archive. But I'm a useful bastard, and I do my job well enough that the Foundation benefits from keeping me around.
Entity-5061-1: Why would they catalogue you? What's there to study?
Dr. Dune: I'd rather not talk about it.
<pause>
Dr. Dune: This project isn't so bad, though. Talking to you. It's nice to just unwind. Doesn't even feel like work anymore.
Entity-5061-1: I enjoy it too. Must be a break from the rest of the, um, shit that you put up with on a daily basis.
Dr. Dune: That's not very proper of you, isn't it, Liz?
Entity-5061-1: Been talking to you too much. <laughing>
Dr. Dune: No lab assistants who don't know how to clean equipment, no junior staff fighting for my approval, nothing's actively trying to kill me- it's almost- normal. Funny- that is- normal for me being talking to someone who could be my great grandmother.
Entity-5061-1: I might be.
Dr. Dune: No, you don't have the Dune ugliness. It's our signature trait. Can't get into the family without it.
Entity-5061-1: Don't think I don't know where you're going with this, doctor. You're calling me beautiful. I've been sweet-talked before, and no amount of walking that back is going to save you.
Dr. Dune: <laughing> Don't flirt with me, Liz- I'm supposed to be researching you.
Entity-5061-1: Oh, we're back to the research stage now?
Dr. Dune: We never left it, Liz.
<pause>
Dr. Dune: Maybe in another time.
Entity-5061-1: Well- what should time have to do with anything? You're in my life every single day! We're real to each other. Why does it matter where we are. I still see you, and hear you, and-
Dr. Dune: Liz, in my timeline, you're dead. I'm communicating with you, and that might be affecting the past, but you're dead.
Entity-5061-1: But every time you talk to me, I'm alive.
Dr. Dune: You know it wouldn't work.
Entity-5061-1: <tearing up> I know. But it would've. I want to know about your world, I want to know about you. Be there for you. You have no one, doctor.
Dr. Dune: I have you, and you're doing a fine job at keeping me sane.
<Entity-5061-1 places its hand against its mirror>
Entity-5061-1: I can't touch you. Oh, God- I can't touch you. <crying> What did I do to deserve this? I can't even touch you.
Dr. Dune: It's alright, Liz. It's okay. Just breathe. You can see me, can't you? You said it yourself- I'm real. You're real. We're talking- sharing things about our day, our hopes for the future. This time shit's just an obstacle we'll have to deal with. No use dwelling on it.
<Entity-5061-1 wipes its tears with a tissue>
Entity-5061-1: Okay.
Dr. Dune: I'm not going to turn the projector off. I'll stay with you as long as you'd like. It hurts me too.
Entity-5061-1: You're a good comforter, doctor. Better than you think.
Dr. Dune: Maybe I am.
<pause>
Dr. Dune: It's late.
Entity-5061-1: I think you should stay.
Dr. Dune: I think so too.
<pause>
Entity-5061-1: Goodnight, doctor.
Dr. Dune: You can call me Edward if you want.
Entity-5061-1: Goodnight, Edward.
Dr. Dune: Goodnight, Elizabeth.
<Transcript ends here. SCP-5061 was left projecting overnight>
<End Recording>

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone.T – 5/21/2020

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Project-5061-Telephone.5/21/2020 Video Log Transcript
Date: 5/21/2020
Subject: Entity-5061-1
Interviewer: Dr. Edward Dune- Senior Researcher, Area-179

<Begin Recording>
<The image of Entity-5061-1 is projected onto the screen.>
Entity-5061-1: Edward?
Dr. Dune: Hey.
Entity-5061-1: I got the notice.
Dr. Dune: Last week?
Entity-5061-1: Mr. Curtiz thinks so.
Dr. Dune: Oh.
Entity-5061-1: All of my scenes are shot, too. I shouldn't even be here.
Dr. Dune: You rented it out for the month, right?
Entity-5061-1: Months almost up.
Dr. Dune: Shit. Did you talk to your uncle?
Entity-5061-1: Hasn't gotten back to me. He'll get me extra work, no problem- but a place to stay? That's on me.
Dr. Dune: I…There's nothing I can do, really. Huh.
Entity-5061-1: It's not your place.
Dr. Dune: Your uncle- he keeps his distance, eh?
Entity-5061-1: Wasn't always like that. I guess he never got over me being a failed child actor.
Dr. Dune: That long, huh?
Entity-5061-1: Oh, it was fine in the silents. It was like playing charades. As soon as talkies came around, they realized I couldn't act- and, they just regulated me to extra work.
Dr. Dune: You can dance, though.
Entity-5061-1: Charades, like I said.
Dr. Dune: Get any word back from Zedder? He might be able to get you a place to stay.
Entity-5061-1: Nothing yet. Funny- he said I'll know by the end of the month. Don't worry yourself, Edward. My uncle's soft enough to let me stay a couple nights to get back on my feet.
Dr. Dune: I'm sure he will, and if he doesn't- just bring him to me. I'll tell him I'm God, or something.
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> I still have another week. Worry about it when we get there, right?
Dr. Dune: Right.
Entity-5061-1: Are you good?
Dr. Dune: I'm fine, Liz. Been a rough day.
Entity-5061-1: What happened?
Dr. Dune: Director's breathing down my neck about outdated files and improperly formatted junior test logs. It's like they know nothing about writing a research paper. I mean, jesus, we're talking about kids right out of school, here. Should be fresh in their brains!
Entity-5061-1: Oh, well- I agree! Fresh in their brains! <laughing>
Dr. Dune: He loves me. Good 'ol Roman. He'll see this, too. Hi Roman, you incompetent piece of shit! <laughing>
Entity-5061-1: He lets you talk like that?
Dr. Dune: Liz, he needs me. I mean, how else would this place keep itself together?
Entity-5061-1: I'm just making sure, I'd hate to see you let go.
Dr. Dune: Imagine that. You might get Doctor Crouch.
Entity-5061-1: Is he the foreigner?
Dr. Dune: He's the space alien.
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> I don't think I'd like him very much.
Dr. Dune: I'm not going anywhere, Liz. You don't have to worry.
Entity-5061-1: Okay. I just-
Dr. Dune: What?
Entity-5061-1: I'm getting used to this.
Dr. Dune: What's wrong with that?
Entity-5061-1: You were right, Edward. Maybe in another time.
Dr. Dune: Maybe. Hey, how's your memory?
Entity-5061-1: Why?
Dr. Dune: Thinking of something. Can you list off everything you've been in?
Entity-5061-1: Uh, I think so. My first film was a silent, obviously, 1928- I believe?
<Log omitted for lack of relevance. Subject provided a body of work alongside various personal anecdotes. Conversation continued for 51:26 before projector was turned off.>

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone.T – 5/25/2020

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Project-5061-Telephone.5/25/2020 Video Log Transcript
Date: 5/25/2020
Subject: Entity-5061-1
Interviewer: Dr. Edward Dune- Senior Researcher, Area-179

<Begin Recording>
<Entity-5061-1 is projected onto the screen>
Entity-5061-1: Hello, Edward! I thought I wouldn't make it tonight, but- here I am.
Dr. Dune: You're still taking down the set?
Entity-5061-1: It's almost done, but, yeah. It's a lot of work.
Dr. Dune: I'm sure. Last day, right?
Entity-5061-1: Last day. Everyone left a couple hours ago. It's just me and a couple stragglers.
Dr. Dune: So-
Entity-5061-1: I have until tomorrow. Then I either call back Mr. Zedder, or my uncle, or-
Dr. Dune: Why not ask Sandra? You said she was willing to-
Entity-5061-1: I'm not taking handouts. I barely kno-
Dr. Dune: It's not a handout, it's a matter of you having a place to stay-
Entity-5061-1: Edward, it'll work out, okay? Do you know why?
<pause>
Entity-5061-1: I bought the dresser! I talked to Wilson and he said they were getting new ones in just next month.
Dr. Dune: Seriously? That's amazing! We-
Entity-5061-1: We'll be able to talk! Isn't that just wonderful?
Dr. Dune: Even if you're living in a box by next week- at least you'll have a nice dresser!
Entity-5061-1: <laughing> Oh, don't say that! I'll be fine.
Dr. Dune: I have no doubt in my mind. Uh, I have some news too. Remember those department certifications we were going through this week?
Entity-5061-1: Today was the last day, right? Did you pass?
Dr. Dune: Flying colors. I talked to the inspection team for about seven hours just wrapping things up, but we passed. Area-179 is a top of the line Foundation installation.
Entity-5061-1: Heavens, that's wonderful!
Dr. Dune: Proud of myself. Hell, I'm even proud of Roman. Kept it together pretty well for the suits. You know what kept me going this whole week?
Entity-5061-1: Oh, stop. Don't even go there. <laughing>
Dr. Dune: It's true, Liz. It's cathartic- this.
Entity-5061-1: I tend to have that effect on people.
<Dune lights a cigarette>
Dr. Dune: Should be required for working in this shithole.
Entity-5061-1: I don't think I'd be able to talk to that many people. <laughing>
Dr. Dune: Ah, you'd manage.
<pause>
Entity-5061-1: Edward, what exactly have you concluded from studying me?
Dr. Dune: That you're a bright, beautiful young woman who has a promising career ahead of her?
Entity-5061-1: How flattering. I'm serious.
Dr. Dune: To be honest with you, not much. Thing just works. No anomalous residue, no memetic effects- it's just a window in time, and you're on the other side of it.
Entity-5061-1: What about me? You asked about my previous work. Why?
Dr. Dune: Well, I can't exactly disclose that information, Liz.
Entity-5061-1: Why not? You already told me that we win the war, why can't you tell me about myself?
Dr. Dune: Think about it this way, if I told you- all the shock would be gone, eh?
Entity-5061-1: Oh, I suppose you're right. I won't push it further.
Dr. Dune: Besides, we're playing with time, Liz. If I told you, it might not happen that way in actuality. Get it?
Entity-5061-1: I do. I don't like it, but I understand. You have your reasons for doing what you do.
Dr. Dune: Yeah. Right.
<pause>
<phone ringing>
Dr. Dune: For you?
Entity-5061-1: It's a bit late. Hello? Yes, this is she. Oh. Well, thank you for informing me. Tomorrow? Yes, that'd be perfect. Mary, right. Thank you.
<pause>
Dr. Dune: What was that?
Entity-5061-1: <screaming> Yes! Yes! Yes! I got it! It was Mr. Zedder's secretary! I got a part in the Universal picture! A lead!
Dr. Dune: A lead?
Entity-5061-1: Yes! A lead! I got a lead role! Out of everyone who auditioned- they picked me! Heavens, isn't that amazing?
Dr. Dune: Yeah, that's….amazing. Liz, what did you say the name of the film was?
Entity-5061-1: Something like, He's My Guy? I believe that's it, yes. Why?
Dr. Dune: It's nothing. Data collection, yeah? I'm proud of you, Liz! You earned it.
Entity-5061-1: She said I could come out tomorrow for a production meeting! Mr. Zedder wants to see me again!
<pause>
Entity-5061-1: What's wrong, Edward? This is wonderful!
Dr. Dune: Of course it is! I was preoccupied, sorry about that! I was just thinking about the certification tests. Mind's still not off it. <laughing> How about I go break out the drink, huh?
Entity-5061-1: Oh, alright! I'll get mine!
<Dune leaves the theater>
<pause>
<Dune returns with a bottle of wine>
Dr. Dune: A toast to Elizabeth Connors- a brilliant actress.
Entity-5061-1: Cheers! <laughing>
<Log omitted for lack of relevance. Subject and interviewer celebrated and talked for another hour before exchanging pleasantries. SCP-5061 was removed from the projector.

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone.T – 5/26/2020

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Project-5061-Telephone.5/26/2020 Video Log Transcript
Date: 5/26/2020
Subject: Entity-5061-1
Interviewer: Dr. Edward Dune- Senior Researcher, Area-179

<Begin Recording>
<The image of Entity-5061-1 is projected onto the screen. Subject is clearly in a state of distress.>
Dr. Dune: Liz?
Entity-5061-1: Edward? Edward, I'm scared.
Dr. Dune: What's going on, Liz? Are you okay?
Entity-5061-1: I…I stuck around, just to talk to you. They're moving everyone out of the area, but I stuck around.
Dr. Dune: What's happening? Who's moving people? Liz, you need to talk to me!
<loud noises from outside the dressing room>
Entity-5061-1: <crying> Edward, you said we win. Why would you say that-
Dr. Dune: Elizabeth, you need to talk to me. You need to tell me what's going on immediately.
Entity-5061-1: <distressed> They're bombing the city. Edward- they're bombing the city! The Japanese, oh my God, Edward. They're outside! I-
Dr. Dune: No, no, no, no, no, fuck-
Entity-5061-1: Edward, please tell me we win- Edward. What's wrong, Edward? Why-
Dr. Dune: Shit. God-fucking-damnit, Liz. I…I'm sorry. Liz, I'm sorry. I lied to you, Liz. I fucking knew it. Shit, it makes sense now.
Entity-5061-1: What's going on? Edward, please. Tell me we win, Edward! What do you mean you lied?
Dr. Dune: I asked you, about your films, all those nights ago. Remember that, Liz? Remember when I asked you that?
Entity-5061-1: Oh my God-
Dr. Dune: Fuck. I should've told you. I should've fucking told you. I-
Entity-5061-1: Told me what? Edward, please!
Dr. Dune: <screaming> I did my research, Liz. I looked. I looked online, I even watched half of the damn things. You're not credited once. Not a single goddamn time.
Entity-5061-1: What the hell does that mean? I was certainly cre-
<loud noises from outside the dressing room>
Entity-5061-1: <screaming> Edward? What do you mean, Edward?
Dr. Dune: This reel. The way we're communicating. God, I'm a fucking idiot. It's not a window in time. It's another dimension. God-
Entity-5061-1: Wh-
Dr. Dune: Your 1942 isn't my 1942, Liz. It's obvious now. Fucking Christ, the Japanese never attacked Burbank, California. That never happened. They don't attack shit! No one does! We drop a fucking bomb on them and it's over.
<Dune throws a chair>
Entity-5061-1: Does that mean, oh my God, Edward-
Dr. Dune: Yes, it's an alternate timeline. Anything can happen. You can lose, Liz. You can lose.
Entity-5061-1: Oh my god, wh- what am I going to do, Edward?
Dr. Dune: Why do you think I was so disturbed last night? There's no Elizabeth Connors in He's My Guy. <shouting> There's no fucking Elizabeth Connors in anything, let alone a lead role. You don't fucking exist. There's nothing.
Entity-5061-1: <distressed> W-Why didn't you tell me? Edward, why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me?
Dr. Dune: Because I didn't know for sure! Last night confirmed it. You were happy. What was I supposed to fucking do? You could make something of yourself, Liz. Timelines diverge. You can be a star! Why would I fucking tell you that you don't exist? Can't you think?
Entity-5061-1: Edward-
Dr. Dune: <distressed> No, Liz. You need to get the fuck out of Burbank, now. If they're evacuating, you fucking join them. No, I don't know if you win. Fuck, I don't know anything. But I don't know if you lose, either. You have a life to live ahead of you. Just fucking leave! Go!
Entity-5061-1: I'm staying with you.
Dr. Dune: Leave! Liz! You fucking idiot, don't you dare die for me. I'm not fucking real, Liz. I'm not fucking real. I-
Entity-5061-1: <screaming> Edward, I'm staying-
Dr. Dune: I'm stopping this, right-
<Dune gets up towards the projector>
Entity-5061-1: <shouting> Do it. Turn off the projector. Kill me, Edward. Fucking do it-
<Dune stops>
Dr. Dune: Oh my god, Liz. I- < crying>
Entity-5061-1: Stay with me, Edward. Please, I'm scared- Edward, stay with me.
<Dune repeatedly slams his fist against the wall>
Dr. Dune: I'm not going to do this to you. You deserve life-
Entity-5061-1: Edward, I-
<loud noises>
<screen turns white>
<pause>
<SCP-5061 stops projecting>
Dr. Dune: <shouting> No, no, no, no, fuck, fuck. WHY? Fuck YOU. WHY? WHY? Why the fuck, god FUCK!
<Dune removes SCP-5061>
Dr. Dune: Please, please, please, please- fucking please-
<Dune places SCP-5061 back onto the projector>
Dr. Dune: Please. Please, please, oh god, please.
<SCP-5061 does not project>
Dr. Dune: <shouting> You fucking piece of shit- why, WHY, WHY WHY-
<Dune knocks over the projector>
Dr. Dune: Liz. Liz, why the fuck? Oh my god, FUCK.
<Log is silent for the next 24 minutes, sans Dune's crying and spouts of brief profanity. Omitted for lack of relevance>

Addendum 5061.3: Project-5061-Telephone: UPDATE
As of 5/27/2020, Project-5061-Telephone has been suspended. See notice below.

► Access File: Project-5061-Telephone-CEASE

▼ Close

Re: Project-5061-Telephone
SCP-5061 has been neutralized.
Our knowledge of the nature of SCP-5061 has changed.
Object class and description update pending.
Project-5061-Telephone has been dissolved permanently.
- Dr. Edward T. Dune, Senior Researcher, Area-179

Footnotes
1. Kept according to standard film preservation protocols.
2. See Project-5061-Telephone logs below.
3. The standard for a 35 mm reel.
4. See Addendum-5061.1: Acquisition.
5. Within the 24 hour cool-down period.

« SCP-5060 | SCP-5061 | SCP-5062 »


Item #: SCP-5062
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The hotel containing SCP-5062 has been vacated by the Foundation under the pretense of unsafe building conditions. Foundation security personnel are to maintain the cover of an independent security company assigned to the property to keep guard over SCP-5062.
Individuals who have survived exposure to SCP-5062 are to be monitored in their public lives, and their body parts kept in cold storage following drone retrieval. Any testing involving SCP-5062 must be approved by the current project head.
Description: SCP-5062 is room 233 of the Echo hotel in Moscow, Russia. The room contains a king-sized bed, a writing desk, a mini-fridge and a nightstand containing a copy of the King James Bible. When removed from the room, these articles will return as soon as they are unobserved.
When an individual enters the empty SCP-5062, they will find themselves unable to leave. In addition, individuals outside the room will be unable to enter or retrieve the victim. No physical barrier exists preventing exit or entry, but all individuals involved will find themselves unable to even contemplate performing such actions.
At the same time an individual becomes trapped inside SCP-5062, a pair of scissors will spontaneously manifest on the writing desk (if the writing desk is not currently in the room, they will instead appear on the carpet). The size and specific form of these scissors will vary depending on the trapped individual, but are consistently at least 7.5cm long.
Once these scissors appear, the trapped individual will become aware that the only method of leaving SCP-5062 is by using said scissors to sever one of their own body parts.
The specific body part required to be severed in order to leave SCP-5062 differs from case to case. Once severed, the body part in question will rapidly become shriveled and blackened, and the victim will become able to leave SCP-5062. Following exit, the victim may experience additional symptoms including:

Elevated levels of generosity and altruism.
Increased levels of charisma.
A significantly greater desire to enact positive change in the world around them.

Addendum 5062-1 (Victim Log):
The following is a record of known individuals who have entered SCP-5062 and left following exposure to its anomalous effects, along with the body parts they lost and details of their lives following exposure.

Subject
Body Part
Subsequent Events

Polina Novikova, F, Age 8
Tip of fingernail.
No further psychological symptoms noted. Following exposure, Ms. Novikova reported the anomaly to her parents staying in the hotel, who subsequently reported it to the authorities.

D-2291, M, Age 34
Index finger.
Following exposure, D-2291 exhibited greater loyalty to fellow D-Class and significantly reduced antisocial tendencies. Following release at the end of his employment period, D-2291 returned to his hometown and became an office worker, demonstrating no further criminal tendencies.

D-9319, M, Age 21
Tongue.
Following exposure, D-9319 demonstrated significantly more honesty when dealing with staff. Following release, he went on to donate the remains of his personal funds to victims of fraud.

D-4388, F, Age 42
Both hands.
D-4388 expired during exposure to SCP-5062 due to blood loss after cutting off one hand. A muffled moaning sound was subsequently audible beneath the floorboards1. Scissors continued moving independently following death and cut off D-4388's second hand before SCP-5062's effects ceased.

D-5222, M, Age 262
Head.
Scissors manifested as a pair of large garden shears, which D-5222 utilized after a period of seventy-three hours. Following self-decapitation, D-5222's body remained animate and left SCP-5062; when later questioned, supervising personnel were unable to recall why they did not prevent this. The headless corpse then left the hotel completely and, over the course of the next twelve months, ran for a position in the local council. No media covering the election, nor individuals consuming said media, were able to perceive D-5222 as a headless corpse. Following its victory, the corpse passed a number of laws protecting the homeless population in the district before finally expiring. The body was recovered and all direct witnesses amnesticized, with a sophisticated misinformation campaign successfully preventing a breach of the Veil. Testing involving individuals guilty of numerous counts of first-degree murder suspended indefinitely.

Footnotes
1. Subsequent investigation found no abnormalities beneath the floorboards of SCP-5062.
2. Known in the media as the Salavat Ripper.

« SCP-5061 | SCP-5062 | SCP-5063 »


Item #: SCP-5063
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5063 is contained within an airtight glass container filled with seawater. Outside of testing, access to SCP-5063 is barred from personnel who do not fulfill either of the following requirements:

Personnel was born after 1975.

Personnel has not been within a 30-meter radius of an alligator snapping turtle (Macrochelys temminckii) within the last 60 days.

Description: SCP-5063 is an empty, lidless can of mock turtle soup, manufactured by the Campbell Soup Company in the 1940s. SCP-5063's anomalous effect manifests whenever a live human being who doesn't fulfill the previously mentioned requirements, as determined by testing, enters its vicinity. The alligator snapping turtle they were in proximity to disappears, and SCP-5063 is filled with turtle soup, the meat of which originates from the affected turtle. The origin of the other ingredients is unknown. The soup does not manifest any additional anomalies, and is safe for consumption. SCP-5063 can not be activated by an individual born after 1975. This is suspected to be due to the popularity of turtle soup in the United States having considerably diminished at that point.
Submersion in water limits the trigger effect to physical contact only, unless the water originates from a lake inhabited by alligator snapping turtles, in which case contact between SCP-5063 and the water will activate the effect, transmuting every turtle within the lake into soup.
Discovery: Prior to containment, SCP-5063 was held at a soup museum in Washington DC. Its anomalous properties were discovered when a visitor accidentally activated its effect after standing near it during office hours. Foundation webcrawlers flagged a possible connection between the activation of SCP-5063 and the simultaneous disappearance of a turtle held at the Smithsonian's National Zoo, leading to subsequent containment of the anomaly. The item was contained under the cover story of having been infested by a hazardous mold, and the witnesses of both events were amnesticized.

▶ Interview ◀

▼ Close ▼

INTERVIEWER: Agent Winter McCormick
INTERVIEWEE: Donald Edison
FOREWORD: According to museum records, SCP-5063 was donated to the exhibit by Donald Edison, a nonagenarian housed at a retirement house in Illinois. Mr. Edison was sought out for an interview in hopes of acquiring additional information about the anomaly.

[BEGIN LOG]
Agent McCormick: Hello, Mr. Edison. Sorry for bothering you, but I was wondering if you could spare me a minute of your time. I'm with National Geographic and I have some questions I'd like to ask you. I am making an article on the history of soups and the museum where your can of mock turtle soup is displayed at plays an important role.
Mr. Edison: (chuckles) You're a bad liar, son.
Agent McCormick: What makes you think I'm lying?
Mr. Edison: You're here because you found out that the can is magic. I figured that in a world with things like the can and people like the person who made it, there must be someone responsible for keeping it out of the public eye. Am I correct?
Agent McCormick: Sir, I assure you, I am just a journalist.
Mr. Edison: Whatever you say, son. Ask what you want.
Agent McCormick: Okay, thank you. How about we start with how you originally came to possess the item.
Mr. Edison: Fine by me. You might want to sit down though, this is a long story.
(Agent McCormick sits)
Mr. Edison: Good. To start this off, how much do you know about the prominence of turtle soup in the late 1800's and the early 1900's?
Agent McCormick: Nothing.
Mr. Edison: Well, it was all the rage back then, specifically when made with the meat of an alligator snapping turtle. Despite the relatively high price, it sold really well. Restaurants were literally better off serving mock turtle soup made from a calf's head, than no turtle soup at all. I have personal experience with that, because I was working as a cook in a small restaurant called Bogside House in Texas in the 1940's. We were struggling, to say the least. There was another restaurant within walking distance, that served genuine turtle soup, while we could only afford the canned fake stuff.
I realized that if we couldn't start serving the real stuff we would have gone under within weeks. I went to tell this to our owner, a fella named Redder, but he didn't seem at all worried. Instead, he just tells me that he knows someone who can help us.
Agent McCormick: And this someone created the can?
Mr. Edison: Yes. Let me preface this by saying that Redder was an odd fellow. He was… more versed in things like this, and he moved in even weirder company. Occultists, mystics, and individuals who I'm not sure were entirely human. The person who made the can was one of those. They arrived just as we were closing in for the night. They were dressed in a dark, ragged leather coat and a hood that I never saw under. I don't know if I would have wanted to. They also smelt like damp earth. I thought it was all very pretentious, but it was still very unnerving.
Agent McCormick: Did you ever learn what this character was called?
Mr. Edison: It did come up at some point, but this was a long time ago, and my memory isn't what it used to. I think it was Du… something. Anyway, they were carrying with them a big, cloth covered cage with a turtle inside. They took it to the kitchen and set it on a counter. Then they took a used Campbell's can, and set it next to the cage, before doing… something.
Agent McCormick: Uhh… could you elaborate?
Mr. Edison: Yeah, it's just… I'm trying to think how to put it into words. It was… kind of like looking at a corrupted film. Everything got all scrambled up and weird. The room expanded and twisted seemingly infinitely, and then in the next second everything was all tight and compressed. There were odd sounds and colors coming from… somewhere, and gravity felt like it was throwing a hissy fit. All the while the poor turtle was being turned inside-out and back again, aged to a skeleton and then reversed into a fetus. All of this took maybe ten to fifteen seconds, and the only thing that wasn't affected was the hooded fellow. Despite everything going on around them, they stayed completely unchanged and unmoving, like the eye of a storm. To me that was the scariest part.
When it was over, everything snapped back into place, like nothing had ever happened. I threw up immediately. I think Redder did too.
(pause)
Afterwards the unholy fellow explained to us how the can works, before going to leave. I tried to ask them if they wanted payment, but they told me that they already claimed it, before walking out the door. Just thinking about it sends shivers down my old spine.
Agent McCormick: And did the can help revive your business?
Mr. Edison: Oh, it most certainly did. Back then, that area of Texas used to be chock full of snapping turtles, so everyone that walked through our doors had been near one. So, due to that, we used to do this thing where I would take a huge pot, and I would just place the can on the bottom. Then, when orders of turtle soup started coming in, I would just walk through the restaurant and let the pot fill up on its own. Then I would just begin pouring fresh, hot turtle soup straight out of the pot. The customers loved it.
And soon enough, people heard that we were selling fresh turtle soup at a low price, and they began flooding in. We were ecstatic, of course. We were practically swimming in cash. Not long after, the other restaurant went under because our soup was better. One of the cooks from that establishment actually approached me and asked if he could come work for us instead. I had to turn the young chap down of course… I couldn't let anyone know the secret behind our success.
Word of our culinary delights spread like wildfire, and people from all across the country started turning up. Big names, even! I'm talking movie stars, singers, politicians. Hell, Humphrey Bogart himself visited us once!
Agent McCormick: Did you not think about how many turtles the can must have been killing for something like that?
Mr. Edison: Not at this point, no. Why would I have? I could finally afford to buy a fancier car, jewelry for my beloved, suits and better knives. None of that really matters to me anymore, but at the time there was no room in my mind for a bunch of reptiles, and I never stopped to think how many turtles we were killing every night, because I didn't really know. Because of the little spectacle we were doing, there was no real way to measure exactly how many times the can was activated. It must have been dozens. Per day.
It wasn't until nearly a decade in, that I finally realized what we were doing. I was hiking in a swampland with my wife at the time, may she rest in peace, collecting huckleberries, when it hit me. There was no hissing.
Agent McCormick: Hissing?
Mr. Edison: Yes, hissing! That's the sound that alligators snapping turtles make when they feel threatened. Up until that point, every time I had gone there, there had been turtles basking on the edges of a pond, hissing anytime we got close. Now, they were gone. I realized then what I had done, and how big of a mistake it had been.
Agent McCormick: What did you do about it?
Mr. Edison: Nothing at first! We had a good thing going, and there was no way we could have continued it without the can. However, I couldn't just forget about it. It kept bothering me, and eventually I felt like I had to go to Redder.
I told him how what we were doing was hurting the ecosystem. How it wasn't sustainable. I told him we would end up completely decimating the local turtle population, but he wouldn't listen. He said I was getting paranoid. Said he didn't care about no turtles. "What do you mean you don't care about no turtles?" I asked him. They were the source of our income! You are supposed to care about that! He just hand waved it aside, insisting that the population will hold.
Of course, it didn't. Soon after, I started noticing that the can didn't produce as much soup as it used to. The diminishing was small at first, but increased quickly. And then one day, it was just empty. I stood there, with a pot in my hands, in the middle of customers, staring at the can, but nothing came out. I was forced to make a fool of myself by telling them that there's no soup to serve. I swear to God, some people got up and left right there and then.
That was the beginning of the end. On each following night, there were less and less people, until eventually, nobody came. We had to close.
Agent McCormick: What did you do then?
Mr. Edison: My wife and I had to move to a cheaper city. I went on to work in several different restaurants until my retirement, but none of them ever saw the amount of success that Bogside House once did.
Agent McCormick: (nods) What about Redder?
Mr. Edison: Oh, I never saw him again. I think I overheard him say that he would return to some library… but other than that I have no idea what he did afterwards.
Agent McCormick: But why did he let you keep the can, when he was the one who got it made?
Mr. Edison: Redder didn't show a lot of interest in it, so I simply asked him if I could keep it and he said yes.
Agent McCormick: But why did you want it?
Mr. Edison: Well, I figured that Redder wouldn't care if it kept killing turtles, so I figured I would take it and move somewhere where there are none. And besides, who doesn't want to own a piece of magic?
Then I became old, and unable to care for myself, so I wanted to spend the last of my years here in Illinois, where I was born and raised. I couldn't take the can with me, because this place still has a few turtles left, so I donated it to the museum in hopes it would never activate again. But since you're here, I'm guessing it did.
Agent McCormick: I can neither deny or confirm that. But, thank you Mr. Edison, for telling me your story. I'm sure our readers will find it interesting.
Mr. Edison: I'm sure they will.
(Agent McCormick gets up to leave)
Mr. Edison: Son. Before you go, could you please tell me that the can is somewhere safe, where it can't activate it anymore?
(pause)
Agent McCormick: Don't worry, the can is secure.
Mr. Edison: Good, good.
[END LOG]

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