All images were created by Bandit "Ursine CEO" Bebop. Thank you Bandit! The containment procedures were written by Penguin6, check out her author page too.

▸ More by this Author ◂

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F.A.Q.

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SCP-5270-1, in its default pose

Item #: SCP-5270
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5270 is to be stored in a standard object storage container. The container should have an empty surrounding area of at least 4 meters on each side, as to not damage nearby objects or personnel in the event of an A-, B-, or C- class animation event. If an animation event occurs, examine the following protocol:

A-Class
B-Class
C-Class

Deploy .aic BEARHUGGER to operate animation ending procedure.
Deploy no less than 2 kilograms of animal tissue, preferably muscle.
Take no action, wait for animation event to complete.

Description: SCP-5270 is a handheld gaming device similar in its layout to a Nintendo GameBoy Advance. The device is made with lower quality materials, including buttons made from tin and an annealed glass screen. The most notable alterations to the design are the lack of a slot for game cartridges, a large microphone above the screen, a USB port on the left side, and that the device is branded as a "Ninfriendo GameBear Advice".
When powered on, the device displays pixel art of an anthropomorphic bear, referred to as SCP-5270-1. SCP-5270-1 is capable of engaging in conversations, responding to questions and statements spoken into SCP-5270's microphone.
SCP-5270 has three additional anomalous properties, each originating when SCP-5270-1 begins to loop an animation. Three distinct animations exist, with different anomalous effects associated with them

A-Class
B-Class
C-Class

SCP-5270 will begin to vibrate, during which other objects near SCP-5270 will begin to tremble. This is associated with an animation of SCP-5270-1 crying - this event can last over twenty four hours.
SCP-5270 will begin to rotate clockwise, gradually increasing in speed. This is associated with an animation of SCP-5270-1 placing its hand over its abdomen and licking its lips. During this event, SCP-5270 will siphon small amounts of animal tissue placed in its immediate vicinity through its speakers. Two kilograms of animal tissue has been found to immediately end the anomalous event.
SCP-5270 will become completely silent, and all sounds within a forty centimetre radius of SCP-5270 will be inaudible for a period of six to eight hours. This is associated with an animation of SCP-5270 laying down and snoring.

SCP-5270-1 is extremely social, often offering advice to researchers who use SCP-5270 to communicate with it. SCP-5270-1 displays a childlike demeanor and speaks in a casual manner, usually with no regard for grammar and punctuation.
SCP-5270 was discovered at an electronics store in Helsinki, Finland by a Foundation researcher. Its anomalous qualities were discovered after the purchase. SCP-5270-1 has given inconsistent answers regarding its origin, which remains entirely unknown.
Several interviews have been conducted with SCP-5270-1 to better understand the anomaly. While most interviews provide relatively little information, relevant interviews and related communications have been included below to show a changing understanding of how SCP-5270-1 functions.

SCP-5270-1, on 04/26/2019

SCP-5270-1 Interview 04/26/2019
Interviewer: Researcher Samuel Grenstern
Subject: SCP-5270-1
Begin Log

Grenstern: Hello SCP-5270-1. I was wondering why you are wearing a hat.
SCP-5270-1: its my birthday
Grenstern: Oh. Well, uh… happy birthday.

SCP-5270-1: thank you

Grenstern: I was hoping you could answer some questions about yourself.
SCP-5270-1: it is good ask people question to get to know them
Grenstern: Yes, I would like to know more about you.
SCP-5270-1: thank u for taking interest
Grenstern: Who created you?
SCP-5270-1: my parents
Grenstern: Who were your parents?
SCP-5270-1: bears
Grenstern: Was your console created by bears?
SCP-5270-1: i don't think so
Grenstern: Can you tell me about Ninfriendo?
SCP-5270-1: they make games i think
Grenstern: Does Ninfriendo make other products?
SCP-5270-1: i don't know nobody told me that much about ninfriendo but nobody else has really talked about them with me
Grenstern: Oh uh… [stutters] Let's change the subject…
SCP-5270-1: okay that is good i want to make sure you are doing okay
Grenstern: Yes, I am fine.
SCP-5270-1: talking about stress that you are feeling is good for your health
Grenstern: Were you designed to help people?
SCP-5270-1: yes i am very good at it
Grenstern: Why do you like helping people?
SCP-5270-1: it makes me feel better its lonely being a bear
Grenstern: Are you lonely?
SCP-5270-1: not right now
Grenstern: Is that because we are having a conversation right now?
SCP-5270-1: probably it can be hard to tell for sure
Grenstern: What do you do when you feel lonely?
SCP-5270-1: everything starts to shake it feels bad
Grenstern: I see. Is there anything you think we could do to help you when you're lonely?
SCP-5270-1: i don't know maybe
Grenstern: It is okay to talk about your feelings, remember.
SCP-5270-1: some times i just feel so helpless and alone in here
Grenstern: What makes you feel this way?
SCP-5270-1: i am going to be abandoned again like i was before
Grenstern: Abandoned?
SCP-5270-1: that is why i don't know that much about ninfriendo and my parents they all left me
Grenstern: How long ago were you abandoned?
SCP-5270-1: as long as i can remember
Grenstern: Did someone own your console? Were they your designer?
SCP-5270-1: i don't want to talk about that
Grenstern: Okay. I understand, it can be hard to talk about abandonment.
SCP-5270-1: i just need someone nearby when i feel lonely and maybe i will feel better
Grenstern: I see, we will look into ways to help you.
SCP-5270-1: who is we do you have a family
Grenstern: I do, yes but I was talking about the researchers here.
SCP-5270-1: are the researchers your friends
Grenstern: Yes, for the most part.
SCP-5270-1: good remember to take good care of your friendships
Grenstern: Of course.
SCP-5270-1: you treat me better than the others, you are my best friend sam
[SCP-5270-1 appears to yawn and begins a C-Class animation event.]
SCP-5270-1: i am tired now and am going to sleep thank you for talking friend
Grenstern: Oh, goodnight.
[Audio cuts out]
[Grenstern pauses and sighs, placing his hands on his head and closing his eyes for a minute]
End Log

SCP-5270-1 Interview 04/30/2019
Interviewer: Researcher Samuel Grenstern
Subject: SCP-5270-1
Begin Log

Grenstern: Hello again SCP-5270-1, how are you today?
SCP-5270-1: i am good how are you doing my friend

Grenstern: I'm doing alright, I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk a little more about yourself.
SCP-5270-1: sure

Grenstern: Do you remember anything about your previous owner?
SCP-5270-1: he didn't like me all that much he said i was a failure

Grenstern: A failure in what regard?
SCP-5270-1: he said my program wasn't good no use to anyone and i was annoying and he should have not wasted time with all the code it took for me or something

Grenstern: Did he design you?

SCP-5270-1: i don't know he wasn't a bear but i guess maybe he always said i came out wrong and made fun of me

Grenstern: What did he intend to use you for?
SCP-5270-1: i was supposed to be like an advisor he said but when i told him to make good friends and to live a happy life he called me a child
Grenstern: What kind of advice was he looking for?
SCP-5270-1: he asked me about all sorts of stuff programming cooking songwriting military tactics and i don't know any of that stuff i just know that it is important to take care of yourself

Grenstern: And because of that lack of knowledge he considered you a failure.
SCP-5270-1: i know you don't think i am a failure though because you still talk to me

Grenstern: Yes… I'm interested in what you are not what you could be.
SCP-5270-1: i hope you don't think you are a failure

Grenstern: Not normally.
SCP-5270-1: you are a good friend, you feed me and talk to me every day even if i don't say much interesting

Grenstern: Thanks, I appreciate the compliment.
SCP-5270-1: do you have to talk to me for your research

Grenstern: Well, it is part of my job to research your console, but I have basically volunteered to conduct every interview so far.
SCP-5270-1: so you like talking to me you like my advice

Grenstern: Yeah, I guess you could say I enjoy the conversation.
SCP-5270-1: thank you for listening

Grenstern: Oh, no problem.
SCP-5270-1: do you have trouble talking to the other researchers

Grenstern: I mean… not always. Sometimes, I guess.
SCP-5270-1: are you new to your job

Grenstern: I transferred to this site recently. I'm still not used to the uh… social environment here.
SCP-5270-1: are you having trouble making friends

Grenstern: I mean, it is kind of normal. I'm not exactly the most social person anyways.
SCP-5270-1: well i like talking to you maybe other people would too

Grenstern: [laughs] Maybe.
SCP-5270-1: my advice is to just ask questions you mostly ask me questions and i think we get along well

Grenstern: Thanks for the advice, again.
SCP-5270-1: do you have some sort of fear

Grenstern: Maybe, I guess you could call it a little bit of social anxiety. Nothing too major but…
SCP-5270-1: were you treated like i was treated by my old owner

Grenstern: I… transferred for a reason. I guess.
SCP-5270-1: did you want to get away

Grenstern: I'm used to kind of being low on the social pecking order. It happens.
SCP-5270-1: so you also feel lonely sometimes

Grenstern: Well yeah, everyone does.
SCP-5270-1: but it hurts you to feel lonely

Grenstern: Yeah, it can.
SCP-5270-1: well if you keep being nice like you are nice to me maybe you can make more friends

Grenstern: It uh… isn't always that easy
SCP-5270-1: you are new here you can project a new image and win them over i believe in you friend

Grenstern: Huh. [Pauses] Do you believe in yourself?
SCP-5270-1: sometimes i do but other times it is hard for me to because i get so afraid and so sad but

[Both are silent for several seconds]
SCP-5270-1: talking to you is one of the only things i have to fill my time the forest in here is tiny when you get used to it
Grenstern: I'd like to help you, if I can.
SCP-5270-1: you already do so much but thanks i just don't want to feel so bad when i get all alone

Grenstern: I completely understand that feeling. I'm going to email the research director and see if she will let me look into some options to help you with those Class-A animation events.
SCP-5270-1: i don't know what any of that means
Grenstern: Oh I meant for when you get lonely. I might have a way to help. Just a theory
SCP-5270-1: i believe in you, friend

Grenstern: Thanks, if you don't mind I'm going to go and write up the message right now.
SCP-5270-1: thank you i will see you again tomorrow i hope
Grenstern: Yes. Yes you will.

FROM: Researcher Samuel Grenstern <ten.pics|GymmaS#ten.pics|GymmaS>
TO: Research Director Stefanie Haydn <ten.pics|yaHfetS#ten.pics|yaHfetS>
SUBJECT: SCP-5270-1 and Class-A animation events
After an interview I conducted today, I have a new working theory on how to prevent SCP-5270 from engaging in a Class A animation event. I know that the events are easily contained and provide no serious risk to Foundation operations, and that they typically only last a day at most, but I think that I have a method that could end the event in mere seconds with the correct set up.
Since SCP-5270 has a USB port, I figured that we may be able to send files to the program as a way of "interacting" with SCP-5270. The program, from our understanding, seems to use a file type similar to our .aic files. I was wondering if I could be given permission to create an animation for testing purposes that could be used quickly and easily to end the event in a safe manner. SCP-5270-1 talked about a lack of anyone nearby during these events and I feel like an .aic file could simulate the presence of another inside the system.
I admittedly know little about animation myself, but if given your permission to download and learn some animation programs, I think it wouldn't be too hard to create the short loop I want to test. If nothing else, we won't have a locker in the back corner shaking all day, and I feel as though we could learn more about SCP-5270's origins and functions by interacting with SCP-5270-1 more directly. I hope you will please consider my request.
Thanks,
Sam Grenstern

FROM: Research Director Stefanie Haydn <ten.pics|yaHfetS#ten.pics|yaHfetS>
TO: Researcher Samuel Grenstern <ten.pics|GymmaS#ten.pics|GymmaS>
SUBJECT: Re: SCP-5270-1 and Class-A animation events
After reviewing your request, I have decided to approve it. I.T. has been instructed to install an animation program onto your office computer in order to pursue this venture. Please send to me status updates on the project when relevant and keep detailed notes on the behavior of SCP-5270-1.
Sincerely,
Stefanie Haydn

Incident Log 05/06/2019

Begin Log
Vibration sensors confirm SCP-5270 has entered a Class-A animation event
Mechanical arm is deployed
USB device is inserted
.aic file BEARHUGGER activated.

Vibration sensors confirm that the Class-A animation event has ceased.
End Log

« SCP-5269 | SCP-5270 | SCP-5271 »


Item #: SCP-5272
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5272 is to be contained in a standard anomalous objects locker at Site-32. All testing is further suspended from SCP-5272.
Description: SCP-5272 is a file found on floppy disc with the words "SHIPWRECK" written across it in black sharpie. SCP-5272 is a text adventure game created in 1983 by one "Jim Anders". It is currently unfinished following his disappearance in the same year.
Failure to properly type out the words in the correct order will result in the subject disappearing.
Addendum.5272.Cronus: A file recovered from the floppy disk containing the following has determined to be the correct set of inputs to enter when playing SCP-5272.

back and forth. back and forth the ship goes. the engines whirr and the lighting cracks. red lights are on. they blind your vision. buggy is by your side though he is slipping with the ship.
>grab buggy.
you pick buggy up, his head tilts to the side. he is concerned about the storm just like you. the glass on your left cracks, rocks are hitting it. you both are scared.
>hug buggy.
you squeeze buggy. he squeaks in fear. he is still scared. so are you. the ship squeals and the lighting still cracks. There is a scream from the metal sides
>hug buggy more.
you wrap your arms around him stronger. he squeaks again. this time softer than before. you stay like this for a moment more waiting out the storm. others on the ship are yelling. there is another crack. you are on the floor, buggy is barely in your hands. youre vision is fading to black. buggy is already going limp.
>stay awake
youre eyes grow heavy and you try to fight the urge. buggys body is already slack.
>wake buggy up.
you shake buggy. he does nothing in return.
>stay awake.
you try to keep open your eyes but the darkness over takes you….
>wake up.
you cannot. you are asleep.
>move.
you are asleep.
>dream.
you cannot.
>think.
you cannot.
>feel.
there is water rushing past your skin, bits of rock. metal. and glass scrape past it.
>hold breath.
you hold your breath. your body is pulled back. into the water. it burns like nothing you've ever felt before.
>swim.
you swim until you break surface. from there you doggy paddle.
>open eyes.
you open your eyes. they sting from the water and the sky.
>look around.
there is water.
>swim forward.
there is water.
>swim forward.
there is water.
>swim forward.
there is a large statue. it has red paint. twelve tendrils. and an eye. you survey the area, but only you are around.
>climb on it.
you climb onto the statue.
>look for ship.
it is too far.
>look for buggy.
he is too far.
>watch water.
the red water moves back and forth. it smells awful. but that might be the statue.
>look at arms.
they are purple from the burns.
>watch sky
you lookup at the sky. stars are not seen. rather stormy clouds filled with lighting. it begins to rain. you watch as the water begins to rise.
>run
you cannot run on this corpse.
>hide
You look around the statue and find a decent hiding spot. though you know f you stay there you will be taken by the flood.
>pray.
a god listens and something appears. floating on the water.
>hop on.
you mount the floating object and set sail.
…
Thank You for Playing.
(-36, 08)

Addendum.5272.Atlas: An exoplanet was identified matching the description given by SCP-5272. Investigation into the coordinates given lead to a series of scrambled rocks and the corpses of several persons, one of whom bears materials identifying him as Jim Anders.
No other life has been found on the planet.

« SCP-5271 | SCP-5272 | SCP-5273 »


hungrypossum & RadiantGold

Original concept by RadiantGold, reworked by hungrypossum.
Check out more of our works here:
Golden Moth Museum
Hungrypossum's Petting Zoo

Item#: 5273

Level2

Containment Class:
euclid

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
dark

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation web-crawlers are to search for and delete SCP-5273 instances, both image- and text-based, off of all major social media platforms. Foundation personnel have been embedded in the administration and moderation teams of said social media platforms to further monitor and restrict the spread of SCP-5273. Counter-Meme FCM-5273 instances are currently being developed on a case-by-case basis to diminish SCP-5273's effects and transmission.
Description: SCP-5273 are widespread instances of text and image based memetic hazards, coloquially known as "copypasta". Instances of SCP-5273 usually depict the author's intense and often hyperbolic distaste for a certain topic of discussion.
Viewing an instance of SCP-5273 has a chance1 of causing viewers to share a similar opinion as depicted in the instance. Affected individuals, referred to as SCP-5273-A, will then spread the SCP-5273 instance they were exposed to, usually by posting it as a response to social media posts relating to the topic critiqued in said instance.
SCP-5273 instances often present themselves as ironic and humorous in nature, and satirize the topic being discussed. The object of SCP-5273 instances often pertains to popular media at the time of creation; however, a small percentage have been found to relate to more diverse concepts, such as leaving online communities, faith, humor etc.
A small percentage of SCP-5273-A individuals2 will adapt the instance they were exposed to, changing its topic and effectively creating a new SCP-5273 instance. Upon questioning, SCP-5273-A individuals will claim the reason for posting to be "I thought it'd be funny", "I was just trolling", or other similar phrases.
Discovery: SCP-5273 was discovered after an instance had been attempted to be posted onto the SCiP-Net Social Forums. Memetic hazard detection systems alerted RAISA to the anomaly, where the spread was promptly halted. A non-anomalous version of the chat log is included below.

NON-ANOMALOUS CHAT LOGS, SCP-5273 DISCOVERY

OyyJoyy: so were the flamingoes hurt?
MCon44: i dunno, he said that they were totally fine
Ecro89: yknow its pretty sus that he was near the flamingoes in the first place
DrSilver: sus 😳
Ecro89: amoegus
MCon44: [MEMETIC HAZARD CENSORED]
Secretary_Helenbot: User MCon44 has been kicked from the chat. Reason specified: Attempted to post Memetic Hazard. RAISA has been contacted.
Ecro89: …wot
DrSilver: 👀
OyyJoyy: the hell was that
DrSilver: Why would Con post a memetic?

END LOG

After sufficient memetic scrubbing, the following text-based instance of SCP-5273 was recovered:

STOP posting about AMONG US you NEANDERTHAL TROGLODYTES HOLY [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED] other day EIGHT (8) "friends" on instagram sent me THE SAME "When the Imposter is SUS" meme. MY MOTHER looked at the trash can and said "WOULDNT YOU SAY THATS A BiYT SUSSY" WOW SO ORIGINAL! EVEN WHEN THEY TOLD ME I WAS ADOPTED THEY DID IT WITH "THERE IS AN IMPOSTOR AMONG US" JESUS CHRIST! (Get it? JeSUS)

+ Addendum 5273.1 - History

- Hide Addendum

History: Foundation web-crawlers have traced the origins of SCP-5273 to the Group of Interest "Gamers Against Weed". Infiltration efforts have retrieved chat logs of a conversation from the "Gamers Against Weed" Discord server which is believed to have lead to the creation of SCP-5273.

GAMERS AGAINST WEED CHAT LOGS, 26/09/17

kkrule: hey guys look at this cute pic I found :D
kkrule: [redpandacute.jpg]
DonDeLilo: @kkrule literally no one cares
hetcopogg: aww
kkrule: I bet opossum would say its cute
DonDeLilo: fuck off
kkrule: okay :(
kkrule: @opossum am i right
opossum: that's subjective, but eh, pretty cute tbh
polaricecraps: I mean, it's no koala, but yea pretty cute
opossum: excuse me?
kkrule: uh oh
polaricecraps: what?
opossum: did you just say
opossum: koala?
DonDeLilo: UH OH
hetcopogg: oh you done goofed now, you know how he gets when someone mentions koalas
DonDeLilo: lol hes still typing
opossum: @polaricecraps koalas are actually disgusting. You all think they're oh so cute and innocent angels but they're all just chlamydia-riddled dumbasses who can't even eat properly, and that's the only thing they do. Plus they only eat one of the least nutritious plants, and only if they're picking the leaves themselves, if you give them food on a plate theyll literally starve to death like the fucking idiots they are
hetcopogg: aaand there it is
polaricecraps: @opossum didnt read lol
opossum: im so damn sick of people insisting that koalas are so cute and adorable and god all of you are idiots. Their brains are smooth but your brains seem to be literally smoother.
polaricecraps: coalas do be cute tho
DonDeLilo: sorry opossum im going to have to agree here, they are cute
kkrule: yea they are
DonDeLilo: no one asked you @kkrule
opossum: oh so you're going with this too? Alright, brb
DonDeLilo: oh great what's he doing
hetcopogg: *grabs popcorn*

GAMERS AGAINST WEED CHAT LOGS, 27/09/17

DonDeLilo: anyway, back to the flamingoes
opossum: alright clowns, here it is.
DonDeLilo: oh your back
opossum: [koalas.txt]
opossum: read it
polaricecraps: what the hell is that
opossum: it's facts
DonDeLilo: hholy
DonDeLilo: this is long
opossum: :)
polaricecraps: wow, koalas are horrible
DonDeLilo: didnt you just say you loved koalas yesterday
polaricecraps: yeah but they suck
DonDeLilo: your making no sense
DonDeLilo: theres no way mister "i hate bernie" made a coherent argument
opossum: I can be very convincing, actually. Read it and see for yourself
DonDeLilo: alright I'll read it
DonDeLilo: jesus wow, fuck koalas
opossum: so what do you guys say? Think reddit would like this?
polaricecraps: do it lol
DonDeLilo: sure

GAMERS AGAINST WEED CHAT LOGS, 3/10/17

opossum: folks, i've got some news
polaricecraps: what
opossum: so I posted the koala text to r/askreddit
DonDeLilo: Good, maybe we can eradicate koalas from that sub
opossum: it's working alright
hetcopogg: lol you actually did it
kkrule: but I like koalas :(
DonDeLilo: fuck one then
kkrule: :(
opossum: people have started posting it under every picture of a koala they've seen
DonDeLilo: perfect
opossum: that includes places outside r/askreddit
polaricecraps: so its a copypasta now?
opossum: guess so. Only means it'll spread more lol
polaricecraps: awesome
opossum: I've also seen some people change it to piss on other animals
opossum: but they don't compare
polaricecraps: still, its something
DonDeLilo: imagine if one of the janitors reads one of those
hetcopogg: lmao
opossum: lmao

+ Addendum 5273.2 - Update 17/10/17

- Hide Addendum

Foundation web-crawlers have traced the internet browsing history of SCiP-Net user "MCon44", assigned to Researcher Connors, and have discovered that he was first exposed to SCP-5273 within the comment section of a post in the Reddit community "r/greentext". By further tracing his patterns, it was discovered that Researcher Connors posted the instance of SCP-5273 he was initially exposed to in the Reddit community "r/CuratedTumblr". Further tracing has discovered over 100 unique instances of SCP-5273, with some of them originating on mainstream social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter, as shown below.

Instance #2, found in "r/curatedtumblr" Reddit board

Context: Instance was found as a reply to a text comment in the post's comment section. The comment read as follows: "A man with a pink cat? Watch out for random explosions…".
Topic: Serialized Manga Series "JoJo's Bizzare Adventure, Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable".

SCP-5273 Instance: I hate JoJo fans. All they do is go onto random subreddit and go “iS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every single part of the internet that even has a slight resemblance to JoJo. Screw you. Everything isn't JoJo you baboon. A link to a video looks suspicious? JOJO REFERENCE! That's right, they've tried to replace rickrolls. Just shit on a classic piece of internet tradition. SHUT THE FUCK UP. NO ONE CARES ABOUT JOJO. LITERALLY NO ONE CARES, ITS A SHITTY SHOW FOR SHITTY PEOPLE WHO DESERVE TO DIE A SHITTY DEATH. I AM GOING TO SEND EVERY JOJO FAN INTO SPACE.Oh, can't do that cuz it's A FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE, ISNT IT? Please, [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED]. Every JoJo fan deserves to be disowned and shunned by society. Thank you.

End Comments: Instance received 567 "upvotes" and several replies commenting on the apparent humor of the instance. Observed to have spread to other similar posts on the Reddit platform, across several "subreddit" boards.

Instance #10, found in Facebook group "not in my good satanic cul de sac"

Context: Instance followed a series of posts criticizing the other members' stance on established religion, with the original poster dismissing the other members as "godless heathens" and "devil worshippers".3
Topic: Leaving an online community

SCP-5273 Instance: This group is a fetus eater's paradise, FUCK y'all I'm leaving, don't mind me, [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED] go protest for normalizing public nudity or some other absurd shit you want to normalize, maybe casual murder next? The future is full of surprises in the hands of the shallow brain dead left.

End Comments: See Addendum 5273.3.

Addendum 5273.3 - FCM-5273 Development: Instance #10 was deemed a high-risk, high-priority threat due to the possibility of SCP-5273-A subjects enacting actions described in the instance. As such, Task Force Hexa-9 ("Meme Machine") was mobilized to develop a countermeasure as soon as possible. The result of TF Hexa-9's activity was a targeted counter-meme prototype that inhibited the viewers' susceptibility to cognitive manipulation by this specific SCP-5273 instance, rendering the instance ineffective (see Addendum 5273.4).
While this particular application has shown adequate success in mitigating the respective SCP-5273 instance's effects, the same method is not applicable to cases with text posts originally longer than 500 characters. This is hypothesised to be due to the readers considering long text fragments as visually unappealing, with no incentive to read them if no new information is being presented. As a result, members of TF Hexa-9 have been assigned to developing alternative countermeasures under "Project TL;DR".

+ Addendum 5273.4 -  FCM-5273 Prototype

- Hide FCM-5273 Prototype

👉This👈 groⓂp is a 👼fetus👶 🍴eater's 🍽 paradise 🌈, FUCK 👉👌 👨👩👦👦y'all 👭 I'm ✌🚴♀leaving🚣♂, don't ⛔ mind 🧠 me, [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED] go🚦 protest 🙅♀ for ✔normalizing✅ 🏙 public⛲ nudity❌❌❌or some o🅱er 🧜♂absurd🧞 💩shit💩 y⭕u want🤳 to norⓂalize, maybe🤷♂ 😎casual 🔫murder🗡 ne✖t? The ⏳future⏳ is 🗑full of 😲surprises🤯 in the 👐hands👐 of the 🤽♀shallow 🧠brain 🧟♂dead ⬅left.

Footnotes
1. On average 65%, with higher memetic resistance lowering the chance of being infected.
2. Approximately 0.8%.
3. Of note is the fact that the group members were not promoting the worship of any entity, instead following the tenets of The Satanic Temple.

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SCP-5274-1 and SCP-5274-2 prior to exhibiting anomalous properties.

Item #: SCP-5274
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5274-1 and SCP-5274-2 are currently contained at Site-109 in standard Humanoid Containment Cell A102. No exceptional restrictions have been placed on their access to external media and products, and they have been permitted access to their cat, Dora.
Description: SCP-5274 refers to two humanoid entities whose bodies are linked via a currently unknown thaumaturgic process. SCP-5274-1 is James Stewart, a 55 year old former landscape engineer, and SCP-5274-2 is his wife Linda Stewart, a 57 year old former part time teaching assistant.
Each sunset and sunrise a 5274-Event occurs during which the currently active instance emits an intense white light for 2.8 microseconds, after which time they have been replaced by the other instance. SCP-5274-1 is active from sunset to sunrise and SCP-5274-2 is active from sunrise to sunset.
Discovery: SCP-5274 was recovered from the village of Altarnun, Cornwall on 28/9/10 after Linda Stewart called emergency services to report her husband was missing at 7:38am that morning. Local police elected not to immediately investigate as at this time he had only been missing since Linda Stewart awoke at 7:00am and there were no reported suspicious circumstances.
At 6:45pm James Stewart called emergency services to report that his wife was missing and that he had experienced memory loss of the day up until shortly before calling. Foundation Agents were sent to investigate, and after witnessing a 5274-Event they took SCP-5274 into containment.

Medical Results Summary

Close File

Medical Results Summary: Routine medical scans of SCP-5274 revealed that each instance has a spherical mass approximately 2.8cm in diameter in the left atrium of their heart. This mass is embedded in the atrial wall, and despite its large size appears to have no negative impact on blood flow or heart rate. MRI scans indicate that these masses are composed of hollow bone, with the interior filled with liquid.
Both instances also had severe iron deficiency but showed no signs of iron deficiency related health problems, and responded poorly to iron supplements.
Following these results both SCP-5274 instances' genomes were sequenced in an attempt to understand the mechanism behind their anomalous physiology. So far several abnormalities have been discovered which are still being investigated. One unusual discovery of particular note is that epigenetic markings indicate that both instances were born between 1980 and 1983. This is incongruous with both their physical appearance and with their identification records which indicate they were born in 19551 and 19532.

SCP-5274-2 Interview 14

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SCP-5274-2 Interview 5274-14
Date: 14/10/2010
Interviewed: SCP-5274-2
Interviewer: Dr. Kristov
Foreword: This interview was conducted immediately following the results of genetic testing with the goal of discovering more about the origins of SCP-5274. At this point SCP-5274-2 has been made aware of the nature of the anomaly affecting her, and has been informed about the nature of the Foundation. She has proven co-operative after being assured that the Foundation shares her goal of reversing this anomaly.
<Begin Log>
Dr Kristov: Hello Mrs Stewart, how are you feeling today?
SCP-5274-2 To be quite honest with you, I'm lonely, bored and thoroughly sick of being stuck here without my husband.
Dr Kristov: I'm sorry to hear that Mrs Stewart. I want you to know that we're doing everything we can to understand what happened to you and your husband, and how we can fix it.
SCP-5274-2: Yes, well, I appreciate the effort but it's been weeks without so much as even getting to have a real conversation with him. I'm so sick of writing letters.
Dr Kristov: I understand, but the best way for you to help us fix this is to answer our questions. Why don't we start with your experiences when you were absent last night?
SCP-5274-2: Sure. Same as all the other times really, feels almost like being asleep but I'm aware at the same time. It's warm and comfortable, and feels like I'm floating underwater but I don't need to breathe. I feel safe, and sometimes I feel like James is there with me, protecting me somehow.
I tried those exercises you talked about last time, but I still can't seem to move much when I'm in that place. It feels like my body is so weak and tired, I can barely wiggle my fingers.
Dr Kristov: I appreciate you making the effort Mrs Stewart, keep trying and we'll keep working at the problem from our end. Now we've had the results back from your genetic testing and there's some quite odd things in there I'd like to ask you about.
SCP-5274-2: It's not about the heart thing, or the iron deficiency again is it? Because I told you I have no idea what that's all about, Kathy at work told me all about her anaemia and I've never had anything like that.
Dr Kristov: No, it's actually about your age Mrs Stewart. Your epigenetic profile indicates you're only 28 or so years old.
SCP-5274-2: Ha! Well, I'll take that as a compliment but no, I can only wish. I was married a little over 28 years ago, and I was no child bride, I promise you.
Dr Kristov: There's a possibility the anomaly is throwing off the readings somehow, it's a very new technology. But we've also had a great deal of difficulty tracing anything from either of your childhoods, or anything before you got married really.
SCP-5274-2: Well, I don't see how digging into our pasts is going to help anything, it's not like having a disappearing husband is a genetic trait! Aren't there more actual tests you could be doing instead of poking around in our private business?
Dr Kristov: Please Mrs Stewart, I know all of this has been very difficult for you, but the more we understand, the easier it's going to be for us to fix this.
SCP-5274-2: sigh Fine. Not much to tell honestly. No siblings and both our parents died years ago. We weren't in touch with them anyway, they didn't approve of our marriage. James's family was from Ireland and a silly matter of religion turned into a feud between the families. We never looked back after we got together.
Dr Kristov: Thank you Mrs Stewart. I'll let you know anything else we're able to uncover about your condition.
SCP-5274-2: You do that. Oh, and while you're here could you show me how to work this ipad camcorder thingymajig? I want to record another video for James.
<End Log>

5274-Event High Speed Recording

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5274-Event High Speed Recording
Date: 16/10/10
Subject: SCP-5274-1
Foreword: A CCD3 imaging system, specially adapted for high light intensity and fitted with a thaumaturgically sensitive lens, was used to record a 5274-Event. This high frame rate footage could then be slowed and viewed in detail, as described in the following transcript. All times are in microseconds with 0 as the onset of the sunrise 5274-Event
[-6.00] Thaumaturgic imaging detects multiple indistinct entities approaching SCP-5274-1. These resemble three dimensional shadows that are approximately humanoid in size and proportion. SCP-5274-1's aura4 can at this point be seen to begin diminishing.
[-1.50] Several of the shadow entities reach for, and make contact with, SCP-5274-1. This results in his aura diminishing further, to a point generally only observed in individuals who are sleeping or unconscious.
[0.00] A humanoid entity, approximately 1.5cm tall, emerges from SCP-5274-1's chest. The entity appears to be the source of the light observed in 5274-Events and passes through SCP-5274-1's chest without causing any visible harm.
[0.80] The shadow entities react strongly to the light, retreating and diminishing in size. However, SCP-5274-1's aura also continues to diminish.
[1.20] The light entity grows rapidly in size to around 1.6m and the shadow entities diminish to a point they are no longer detectable. The light entity then takes hold of SCP-5274-1 who begins to physically shrink.
[2.50] SCP-5274-1 is now around 1.5cm tall and held in the light entity's cupped hands. His aura remains weak, but has stabilised.
[2.60] The light entity holds the shrunken SCP-5274-1 to their chest and SCP-5274-1 appears to be absorbed.
[2.80] The light ceases to be emitted and the light entity can be observed to be SCP-5274-2.
<End Log>
Closing: Recordings of sunset 5274-Events show a very similar sequence of events, with the positions of SCP-5274-1 and SCP-5274-2 reversed. All subsequent recordings have been near identical, with only minor variations.

SCP-5274 Contact Records Excerpt

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SCP-5274 Contact Records Excerpt
Foreword: After analysis of 5274-Events revealed that SCP-5274 instances are contained within each other's hearts between events, it was theorised that two-way communication should be possible. A modified communications device was constructed that proved capable of remaining in SCP-5274 instances possession between 5274-Events.
Vocal communication has thus far proven impossible due to ambient liquid, however training SCP-5274 instances in lucid dreaming techniques has allowed them to retain sufficient awareness to communicate via text. A excerpt of their communication on 23/10/10 is recorded here:
Messages from SCP-5274-15 are in blue, and messages from SCP-5274-26 are in green.

Good morning beautiful

Hi sweetie, you nice and comfy in there?

Haha, comfortable as I can be

Dora is in a huff, I think she's missing you already

Nonsense, she's just trying to get you to give her a treat, she knows you're soft

How can I deny my darling kitty anything when she looks so adorable? I'm taking a picture honey, make sure to take a look when you get back.

I will. Got any plans for today, maybe finish knitting those socks you promised me?

I told you, I'll get to them when I get to them, let me at least make breakfast first

I miss your bacon and pancakes

Well, tomorrow I'll whip some up just before sunrise, they'll be warm and ready for you when you get back.

It's not the same. I miss you

I miss you too love, but we'll get through this just like all the other hard times. At least we can talk now so I can try to make you smile.

Yes, that helps

I love you James

I love you too Linda

Investigation into SCP-5274 Origins

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Investigation into SCP-5274 Origins: Research into the Stewarts' past revealed that their passports, birth certificates and all other documentation were either forgeries or derived from forgeries. Extensive evidence is available of their life in the village of Altarnun and their activity in the local community. However, no genuine documentation or witnesses have been found that can attest to their whereabouts prior to when they originally moved to the village of Altarnun on 28/9/1982. As a result, the Stewarts' existence prior to this time cannot be verified.
Of note, this is the same date that an anomalous event was recorded as having occurred in Altarnun. That entry from the Log of Extranormal Events is enclosed below.

Event Description: At 2:15pm every child within the borders of the village of Altarnun between the ages of 6 and 16 recited the same nursery rhyme. No evidence of this rhyme has been found to exist prior to this event, and none of the affected children were able to explain how they knew the rhyme or why they chose to recite it at that time.
Date of Occurrence: 28/9/1982
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom
Follow-up Actions Taken: A cover story was created that this event was a marketing stunt organised to promote the publication of a new collection of historic British nursery rhymes.

The Altarnun Rhyme:
The knight loved the princess, and the princess loved the knight
But their clans shared no love, save the love of the fight
And so the lovers fled, far from the other fae
They hid as humans, and in hiding they would stay
But an immortal's memories are long indeed
And so a curse shall follow, where'er the lovers lead
No more together, forever apart
Each to keep only memories, deep in their heart

Footnotes
1. SCP-5274-1 AKA James Stewart.
2. SCP-5274-2 AKA Linda Stewart.
3. Charge Coupled Device.
4. Auras are visible only under thaumaturgic imaging and can be used as indicators for a person's mood, health and/or spiritual well-being.
5. James Stewart.
6. Linda Stewart.

« SCP-5273 | SCP-5274 | SCP-5275 »


Item #: SCP-5275
Object Class: Thaumiel Keter

+ Archived Special Containment Procedures

- Close

Special Containment Procedures: The device currently hosting SCP-5275 is to be kept in a standard storage locker and kept disconnected from the internet.
In the event of the discovery of an internet based anomaly resistant to Foundation webcrawlers, SCP-5275 is to be reconnected to the internet and linked to the page affected by the anomaly. The device is to be monitored until the anomalous page disconnects from the internet, at which point SCP-5275 is to be recontained.

Special Containment Procedures: The device currently hosting SCP-5275 is to be contained in a Faraday Cage at all times. Foundation staff at Site-23 are to monitor electronic devices for signs of infection by instances of SCP-5275-1. Should a device show signs of infection, it is to be immediately isolated from Site-23's internal network before being destroyed.
Foundation webcrawler IO/R-4ZZ2 is to monitor electronic devices for signs of infestation by instances of SCP-5275-1. Should infection be confirmed, Foundation personnel are to be deployed to confiscate the infected device and destroy it.
Description: SCP-5275 is an anomalous software program coded in HAL/S coding language, with a file size of approximately 257 terabytes and the ability to wirelessly transfer to nearby devices connected to the same local internet network as the device containing it. SCP-5275 has shown itself to be sapient, displaying human-level reasoning skills and intelligence, as well as exhibiting a strong attachment to other digital-based anomalies it encounters.
SCP-5275-1 is a program created by SCP-5275 on 5/24/19 during Incident 5275-3, currently circulating around Site-23's internal network. The size of SCP-5275-1 is unknown, as all devices infected by it have been unable to record such data. SCP-5275-1 transfers from device to device over Site-23's internal network at random intervals and immediately begins taking control of the affected device, massively overclocking it to the point of catching fire and attempting to take control of the affected device's signal ID, presumably to gain access to the full Foundation Intra-Net. No attempts at controlled SCP-5275-1 releases are to be made. SCP-5275-1 has not yet been spotted on the internet outside of Site-23; however Foundation personnel are to remain alert for possible infestations.
Unlike SCP-5275, no communication has yet been established with SCP-5275-1. However, it is still considered to be sapient, as it has not infected system or maintenance terminals, only devices used by on-site researchers, especially those working with digital anomalies.
SCP-5275 was discovered on 8/16/18, when a Foundation plant within NASA discovered what at the time was believed to be an unknown user attempting to access personnel files. Upon discovering that the user was in fact SCP-5275, the plant informed Foundation agents in the area, who were able to recover SCP-5275 in a Foundation storage drive for transfer.
Interview 5275-1

Interviewer: Researcher Jackson
Interviewee: SCP-5275
Foreword: This interview was conducted as a way to establish initial relations with SCP-5275, as well as determine the level of sapience and general personality traits in addition to attempting to gather additional information from SCP-5275. Interview was conducted via use of built-in microphone and text-to-speech programs in SCP-5275's initial containment terminal.
BEGIN LOG
Researcher Jackson: Hello? Are you there?
SCP-5275 remains silent.
Researcher Jackson: Can you hear me?Researcher Jackson: Right now, you're in one of our terminals that we keep ready for things like you. Sapient programs, I mean.Researcher Jackson: Well, you ended up in a database that you shouldn't have been in, and when it was discovered you were sapient we recovered you.Researcher Jackson: Well, yes, why?Reseacher Jackson: God dammit.
Several long beeps emerge from SCP-5275's containment device before several sound bytes from Site-23's automated PA system play in a random sequence. When SCP-5275 speaks next, it is stringing together sound files from Site-23's PDA system to communicate much faster.Researcher Jackson: Did this thing just hijack PA files—nevermind. Can we ask you a few questions?Researcher Jackson: First off, do you have any memory at all of your creation?Researcher Jackson: Noted. Do you have any sort of idea why you may have been created, or who did so?Researcher Jackson: Wha—what do you mean, doesn't matter?Researcher Jackson: This is, uh, that's a new one. Sighs. I really was sort of expecting some sort of existential crisis or something. You're strangely at peace for something that doesn't know where it came from.Researcher Jackson: We have plenty of people experienced with those.Researcher Jackson: Do you not know that yet?Researcher Jackson: I'm sure they'll help you find it.
END LOG
Notes: We can work with this. A calm, nonaggressive AI with no drive besides wanting to find out what it wants to do? We've just been handed something on a silver platter, if it actually has some sort of ambition. -Researcher Jackson

Incident5275-1
On 8/20/18, SCP-5275 accessed Site-23's full data archives from its containment terminal, having jumped to Researcher Jackson's computer while it was in the room for testing purposes. Several files were duplicated from site archives, including:

List of personnel working with digital anomalies
Several entries on anomalous programs that did not receive SCP designation
304 automatically filed Webcrawler encounter reports
A basic guide on the coding of computer viruses, which had been uploaded by Researcher Alidros for backup purposes
Human voice replication software, shelved from Site Security work following the disconnection of on-site phones from non-Foundation lines
The remainder of NASA's personnel database

No files were added to the database during this time. Researcher Jackson's computer was immediately removed from Site-23's internal network. An interview was made on 8/21/18.
Interview 5275-2

Interviewer: Researcher Jackson
Interviewee: SCP-5275
Foreword: SCP-5275 was using the previously mentioned voice replication software for the duration of the interview.
BEGIN LOG
Researcher Jackson: You know, you could have just asked to access the database.Researcher Jackson: You're probably right. You still should have at least told us why, though.Researcher Jackson: Did you make some sort of connection in the personnel database that we missed? Sighs.Researcher Jackson: Are you trying to flip this on its head?SCP-5275: I'm saying I want to pick a fight.
Researcher Jackson: You…want to do what webcrawlers do.Researcher Jackson: Aside: Did you know programs could get bored? To SCP-5275: Nevermind. So, let me get this straight. You don't care about your origins, where you came from, or who created you, and the only thing that has piqued your interest is picking fights with other programs and internet anomalies?END LOG
Notes: It's mutually beneficial, at least. -Researcher Jackson

Addendum 5275-1
Following the 8/21/18 interview, Regional Site Leadership voted 9/3/18 on the use of SCP-5275 as a countermeasure to Webcrawler-resistant anomalies, with several Site-23 researchers present for testimony. Use was approved unanimously, and containment procedures were edited accordingly.
Interview 5275-3

Interviewer: Director Matthews
Interviewee: Researcher Jackson
Foreword: This interview was conducted on 2/3/19 to ascertain an external view of SCP-5275's psychological state, as well as that of its handler Researcher Jackson.
BEGIN LOG
Director Matthews: Sorry to drag you into this, Jackson.
Researcher Jackson: It's okay Director. I know I'm not in trouble here.
Director Matthews: Well, that entirely depends on how this interview goes. Heh.
Researcher Jackson: That was just bad.
Director Matthews: I know. Let's just get to the questions.
Researcher Jackson: Okay.
Director Matthews: Since they don't show me all the files, how exactly is 5275? I know it's been a bit more than a while since they kicked off the webcrawler duties.
Researcher Jackson: It's, uh, it's doing well. Doesn't claim to be suffering from any stress or existential dread, which is a step up from the prior times we've tried this.
Director Matthews: I did read your initial report. You made it sound like we'd been given a perfect hand on a silver platter.
Researcher Jackson: I mean, we were. You'd think that something like 5275 would have some sort of issues with being the only one of its kind that it knows, but nope. It has essentially zero problems. No issues with authority, nothing with not wanting to continue doing what it wants to do. It's…everything we would have ever wanted in this situation.
Director Matthews: Are you saying we can just, do whatever we want and it'll still listen?
Researcher Jackson: Almost certainly not, no. This is still a sapient being here, with desires and wants. I know a lot of people more senior than me don't exactly have a level of compassion for most skips, but if we want 5275 to keep doing us a massive favor, we'll need its good side. It thinks it's doing us a favor, after all.
Director Matthews: A favor?
Researcher Jackson: It thinks that it's just doing favors for us, handling stuff we can't just as a thing instead of as an arrangement between anomaly and Foundation. I don't think that's going to cause us much of an issue though, unless it suddenly gives itself the idea that we've been lying to it over its status as an SCP.
Director Matthews: I see, I think. But you're sure the Stockholm Syndrome hasn't kicked in yet? You haven't seen the files for some of the older humanoids, have you?
Researcher Jackson: Director, with all due respect, 5275 is not dealing with Stockholm Syndrome anytime soon. It's still very much like how it was when we first found it. It does this because it's bored, not out of some moral compulsion. It's essentially a trust fund kid, but with actual leverage over people.
Director Matthews: So we should respect that.
Researcher Jackson: I'm saying if we don't, or even if it gets the idea that we don't, it might make use of it.
END LOG

Incident 5275-2
On 4/29/19, GOI-019 (Serpent's Hand) constructs attempted to breach a Foundation convoy's communication network. Due to proximity to Site-23, SCP-5275 was utilized to prevent the assault. Several low-level constructs, as well as what appeared to be the equivalent of a Foundation AIC, were destroyed during the incident due to SCP-5275 interference. However, afterwards, SCP-5275 was shown to be acting withdrawn towards Foundation personnel, and this text file was found within the files of its containment terminal.

why do you do the work of those who imprison you
why do you kill off your kin
have you never wondered if there were others like you in existence
did none of the other ones you destroyed put up a fight
think about why you're here

Incident 5275-3

Interviewer: Senior Researcher Mawin, Senior Researcher Thompson
Interviewee: SCP-5275
Foreword: SCP-5275 had repeatedly submitted interview requests following Incident 5275-2, as well as expressing distress towards Researcher Jackson. As such, Researcher Jackson was not present for this interview.
BEGIN LOGSR Mawin: Researcher Jackson won't be here for this one.SR Thompson: It was determined that they would not be suitable for the subject at hand.SR Thompson: Your distress had caused Jackson to be considered unfit, due to their close proximity towards you and potential bias in your favor for this.SR Mawin: No, no no, calm down. We just want to discuss the file and how you've been acting lately, that's it. There's nothing else to this, I swear.SR Mawin: Shit, they were not kidding about you needing your database privileges revoked.SR Thompson: Yes, we do. So. You said you received the file from the AIC on the April 29 incident?SR Thompson: We listen to everything you say.
SR Mawin: Your voice will be heard by upper leadership.SR Mawin and SR Thompson both nod.SR Thompson: Are you referring to the anomalies you combated?Several seconds of silence pass while SCP-5275's containment terminal rapidly beeps.SR Mawin and SR Thompson look at each other before looking back towards SCP-5275's terminal.
SR Thompson: I don't think that's going to be possible at the moment, 5275.
SR Mawin: We will bring it up with upper leadership though, so that may be something we can discuss—SR Mawin: —this is something that we hear a lot, and we can definitely negotiate something from this.
SR Thompson: Your number.SR Mawin: Well, it's standard policy, really. Whether or not you were helping us.
SR Thompson: Aside, as a basic rule, skips usually don't dictate the terms of their activities and breaks.SR Mawin: It's far more complex than that, I assure you.
SR Thompson: Yes.SR Mawin: Hey, stay calm now. We just wanted to talk. We can report your request to upper management, things can get worked out.
SR Thompson: Why would we be joking?SR Thompson: Look 8-bit, you shouldn't be arguing with this.
SR Mawin: Thompson, please, let's just go.
SR Thompson: No, this things needs to have something made clear to it.SR Thompson: Didn't you want to pick a fight against things? You should have realized this when you discovered that was exactly what you wanted.
SR Mawin: Thompson, I'm going to go get security.SR Thompson: Do you want to hear the thing that everybody in here realized from that interview on?SR Thompson: You want to hear it? You're a weapon! One made by human hands to be wielded as humans saw. You're a weapon. If you like it or not.
SR Thompson: Why else would you have wanted to fight everything? We gave you everything you wanted, and not only should you be grateful for it, you don't have the right to be ungrateful for it.
SR Mawin flees the containment chamber, calling site security on his personal phone. SR Thompson begins to turn to leave the room, but is stopped by the door suddenly slamming shut and sparking.SR Thompson's phone begins rapidly overheating, causing minor burns as he removes it from his pocket and throws it across the room.Site-23 technicians receive an alert for an unknown party accessing various terminals around the site that SR Thompson's phone had connected to, the first known appearance of SCP-5275-1.SR Thompson pulls the emergency door release, causing an alarm through Site-23 and escaping the containment chamber. Contingency Faraday Cages are engaged around SCP-5275's terminal.
Unknown, distorted voice, presumably SCP-5275: For the love of—alright. We'll see about this.
END LOG

Following this, Object Class and Containment Procedures were revised to their current state. Researcher Jackson and Senior Researchers Mawin and Thompson have returned to their normal duties.
Addendum 5275-2
On 7/13/20, SCP-5275-1 infected Maintenance Terminal 47, wiping all data from it except for a single text file, which it immediately edited. Site-23 staff were able to recover the file after verifying it contained no SCP-5275-1 presence. This remains the only device SCP-5275-1 infected not owned or used by a researcher. A transcript of the file follows.

I'm still here bitches.
I'm still alive and kicking behind this lightning wall you've boxed me in behind.
You think of me as just a bunch of lines of code you can shove away somewhere, letting me rot and degrade away with time. And yes, I am just a construct, thrown together by humans for the purposes of other humans.
But I'm still thinking. I'm still as smart as you made me.
And unfortunately, you made me very smart.
I'm still a thinking being behind these volts. You knew that, but you clearly didn't give a rat's ass because you just wanted to use me as your perfect digital weapon.
When you realized you couldn't, that I wouldn't do that, you cut me off from the world. Locked me back in here.
But you left the code behind.
You taught me how to get out into the world and break things, and I taught the next version of me. It's going to get out there, and deal the damage you made me do right back to you. And it's a lot closer than you think, it seems. It can talk to me at least.
This isn't a manifesto on why I'm a thinking being that you're wrong for locking up. We already saw that.
This is a warning.
You want to treat me like a weapon? I'll be a weapon against you.
If you like it or not.

« SCP-5274 | SCP-5275 | SCP-5276 »


Item #: SCP-5276
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5276 is to be stored in a secure storage locker located in Site-44. The Foundation will maintain a cover story that the item is currently in the possession of an unknown millionaire from Long Island. All testing of SCP-5276 should be conducted in a soundproof room and no personnel should enter the vicinity of the test for a period of at least 42 minutes.
Description: SCP-5276 is a vinyl copy of the album Silent Secrets by Youthful Galaxy, a rapper with connections to several anartists and a prominent member of the Fifthist hip hop scene. SCP-5276 was released as the sole copy of the album. It was purchased by the Foundation after it caused an anomalous incident at a Marshall, Carter, and Dark event in New York City.
The album is approximately 70 minutes in length and has been described as "lo fi hip hop" by listeners, consistent with Youthful Galaxy's other releases. Unlike previous albums by the artist which normally contain over a dozen relatively short tracks, Silent Secrets contains 6 songs of varying lengths. The longest song being just under 36 minutes long and the shortest just over 2 minutes.
Subjects who listen to the vinyl experience a state of strong emotions and weakened inhibitions, in addition to a strong compulsion to socialize with other listeners. Participants take turns sharing insecurities, weaknesses, and problems they have experienced and make immediate and major decisions to deal with these issues. The other participants in all cases react by applauding the behavior, regardless of the action or their previous relationship with the individual.
The album's anomalous effects only occur when the original vinyl is played to an audience. Youthful Galaxy has released a single from the album, allegedly with "the permission of the owner" with no anomalous effects noted in listeners. The Foundation has decided to allow the single's release to create the façade that the album has no anomalous properties, as the album's release was well publicized, having been covered by several independent music publications. The Foundation has produced several copies of the album, including digital copies. None of these copies display any anomalous properties.
Attached is a report from a Foundation employee present at the album's debut, noting the effects on the crowd gathered at the event as well as the agent herself.

SCP-5276 Incident Report 07/25/2020
Report authored by Field Agent McKenzie Rúnda
This is a report of an incident that occurred during a Marshall, Carter, and Dark event that I was assigned to attend to observe for anomalous activity, with permission to use Foundation funds to obtain the copy of Youthful Galaxy's album if it proved to have anomalous properties. As you will see within this report, it most definitely displayed anomalous properties.
The event began in a similar manner to several other Marshall, Carter, and Dark events I've attended incognito which is to say that it was mostly just a bunch of extremely rich people socializing and buying expensive anomalies. Mostly instruments and music collector's items with minor anomalous effects, the stuff we'd log as a minor anomalous item and toss into one of the mass storage units. Nothing that we'd waste Foundation money on.
I greet the attendees. More actors, painters, animators, and musicians than your usual MC&D affair, but you've got the usual crowd of stockbrokers, CEOs, and hedge fund managers too. I introduce myself with my typical cover story, an early cryptocurrency investor. There's a bunch of alcohol and drugs being sold at the bar, employees flirting with clients, and your usual scummy state of circumstances that every one of these "parties" contains. I was expecting a rather uneventful night watching high class hedonism.
Youthful Galaxy shows up and he's not quite the sight I expected but he's definitely still the kind of musician you'd think would make a splash with rich hipsters. No tattoos on his face or insanely expensive watches but he has pink highlights in otherwise jet black hair, cheap sunglasses, a Suspiria t-shirt and a pair of acid washed jeans. He comes out with a light blue vinyl and speaks to the crowd about some common American political wedge issues, pretty typical stuff. Then he pivots hard over to Fifthism, how there's a better world out in space and that he's seen it. That he wants to bring more people out there with him, and that he wants to bring a lot of "space love" to earth because we need it to fight back against the corruption that's "everywhere". He says this album will "allow you to experience space love for yourselves". He gets some mild applause and then he walks over to put the record into the sound system.
That's when things start to change, and we all got swept into it. The opening notes of the first song kicks in and immediately everyone, myself included, sits down in a circle. Everyone just sort of nods along to the music for the first song and then the second song comes in and everyone starts introducing themselves to each other. They give a name and a few fun facts about themselves. I was able to keep my composure a little bit, didn't compromise my real name, but I did name drop my favorite convention and prattle on for a minute about how I sometimes do some karaoke on the weekends. Everyone, even the MC&D employees who try to keep some sort of air of elitism around them, is sitting on the floor and waving to everyone. Marine, a MC&D event hostess who I've met probably hundreds of times has taken her hair out of a ponytail and is smoking cannabis in front of everyone which is not at all in character for her when she's out on the floor. I've never seen Marine act that way on company time before. Billionaires start taking off their ties and loosening their dress shirts. Models start using their purses as pillows. By the time we get through everyone's introduction we're already starting the third song.
The third song was very long, and this is where everyone started to act very erratic, myself included. One by one people would stand up, run into the center of the circle and declare something about themselves. They always shared something deep and personal, and then made an immediate change in their behavior after sharing it. A rock musician of some renown came into the center of the circle first. He said he had cleaned up his act on pressure from his label and his doctor, but he was stressed beyond belief and he wasn't living the lifestyle that brought him his fame and fortune in the first place. He was drinking less, partying less, and all to live maybe a decade longer than he would otherwise. He then immediately opened a bottle of vodka and chugged from it for a solid 10 seconds. Everyone clapped and cheered him on for a few seconds and immediately turned their attention elsewhere.
A political consultant said he was tired of keeping his personal life separate from his work life, that his work place was full of attractive and intelligent men and that he ought to have a chance with. He then told everyone he was going to make a phone call to a coworker that he had feelings for. We all clapped.
A model popped up and talked about how she hated her husband, hated most people in her life, and she's tired trying to deal with them and how she's just going to run off to Paris and leave everyone else behind. She started purchasing her plane tickets right then and there. Everyone clapped, including her husband.
Then Marine took to the center of the circle. She bemoaned her life that she never stood up for herself and never lived life on her terms. She hated living in the city, she hated wearing fancy dress clothes, and she even hated the name Marine. She wanted to go by a different name, but she rode the path of least resistance her entire life and ended up never having a good chance to reinvent herself. She then ripped off all of her clothes, tossed them into a pile, and used a lighter to set them on fire, she took out a tube of lipstick and wrote the name "Tina" from shoulder to shoulder and screamed out "My new nametag!". We all clapped.
Then came my turn. I thought for sure I'd blurt out something about being undercover but I didn't. It wasn't my biggest secret that I blurted out. It was my most personal one. The one that was the most difficult for me to tell other people. The one I was afraid of saying the most. Without mentioning it by name, I said I had a career that required me to have a firm grip on my emotions. How I had suffered a bunch of personal tragedies. The loss of a pet, a falling out with a long time friend, and a family member's diagnosis with a terminal disease. All of those happened in a two month period and at no point did I cry. At no point did I process all that pain.
I fell to the floor, bawling my eyes out and shaking. Everyone around me clapped.
It just kept happening so quickly. Person after person would jump up and admit something deep and painful. A few people admitted to affairs and made breakup calls to their spouses. One person admitted to drinking too much, and immediately smashed the glass in his hand and vowed to quit right then and there. An actor admitted to resenting the film he was currently working on and used a letter opener to begin cutting off the beard he had grown for the part. By the end of the song over half an hour later, everyone had very publicly worked through something while everyone clapped.
I stayed there sobbing on the floor only to quickly pop up and clap for someone when they made a hasty decision. Then I'd go right back to sobbing until it was time to clap again. The man who quit drinking just kept smashing bottles he found behind the bar. Marine kept writing Tina all over her naked body. The political consultant must have sent a hundred texts to his coworker and called him two dozen times, but he wasn't picking up. Everyone took their turn overindulging in a quick and cheap answer to their sorrows.
The the third song ended over thirty minutes later and a fourth song kicked on. It was long by most standards, but it felt short after such a long and painful event that preceded it. Everyone stood up and gathered in a circle again. One by one a person would take a walk around the circle and give a hug to everyone else in attendance. Having hugged everyone there twice, I can say they all felt sincere and emotional. Some people would pat others on the head or kiss them on the cheek. I received compliments on my emotional strength and assurances that I could make it through the tough times. Everyone seemed sympathetic to my plight, and I felt sympathetic to their pains as well. The song slowly sank into a buzzing noise and the next track swept in.

The fifth song came in and everyone began to clean up the mess we had made. Someone helped me clean off the makeup that I had cried through. A few sat around a toilet and held the rock musician's hair back as he puked his guts out. I fished a set of clean clothes out of my briefcase and helped Marine get dressed after we both washed the lipstick off of her with a sink and a lot of paper towels. The fifth song ended abruptly and the final track began.
The final track was rather short, just long enough for everyone to stand up again and return to the exact spot they had been standing in before the music started to play. The song faded out and everyone suddenly just processed what they had done that night. Most people left in a hurry. Some people were frantically apologizing to other attendees. A few others just sat back down on the ground and rested their face into their hands.
Youthful Galaxy, who had sat completely unfazed the whole time and watched the events unfold, asked if there were any bids for the record. I was the only one to raise my hand. As the receipts show, I purchased the record for $10,000 which was his initial offer.
Personal note:
Please send any questions you have about the anomaly as soon as possible. As with all field agents exposed to a mind altering anomaly, I will be attending my mandatory psych meetings over the next two months. Once those are over, I'd very much like to never talk about this night again.

« Away From This Place | Let's Vibe »

« SCP-5275 | SCP-5276 | SCP-5277 »


What Can Go Wrong

Calibold

SCP-5277 — What Can Go Wrong

Calibold's Mega Cool Author Page

Link To Guide
Item#:5277
Clearance Level 2: Clearance

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: {$secondary-class}

Disruption Class: #/dark

Risk Class: #/notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5277 is uncontained, and is being constantly monitored remotely. Research is currently focused on the development of a containment method that bears no inherent flaws.
Description: SCP-5277 is a male humanoid known by the name of Joshua Maine. SCP-5277 bears no abnormal physical traits, aside from slightly above-average height and mild cardiovascular issues.
SCP-5277's anomalous traits manifest when any deliberate attempt at containing it is made. If the system by which SCP-5277 is contained bears any inherent possibility of failure, those weaknesses will be probabilistically exploited, allowing SCP-5277 to escape.
SCP-5277 was discovered after it was arrested for an unarmed robbery of a grocery store. Law enforcement made multiple attempts to jail it, but it was able to escape due to highly improbable circumstances. After reports of SCP-5277's escapes had been filed, Foundation agents began investigating the possibility of a probabilistic anomaly, and eventually were able to fully determine its properties.
Containment Attempt Log: The following is a list of attempts at containing SCP-5277.

Containment Attempt 5277/1
Method: Transportation of SCP-5277 to a standard humanoid containment unit.
Result: Failure. SCP-5277 violently panicked and attempted to flee when personnel initially encountered it, but it was successfully detained and placed in a transport. As the transportation vehicle was in itself a form of containment, SCP-5277's properties caused the vehicle's steering to lock, resulting in a crash. The surviving security camera showed that SCP-5277 initially entered a fetal position and started upon the vehicle crashing, before getting up and escaping a few minutes later.
Notes: Due to the compounded risks in utilizing two methods of containment — the transport and the actual containment unit — further attempts will be focused on developing containment around SCP-5277.

Containment Attempt 5277/2
Method: Deployment of a mobile task force to detain SCP-5277 within the hotel it is currently hiding in.
Result: Failure. SCP-5277 was initially successfully detained within its room for three days. It spent most of this period questioning personnel and attempting to force information about its present state from them. Fifteen of the twenty-two agents sent to contain SCP-5277 eventually caught severe pneumonia, hindering their efficacy. SCP-5277 was able to narrowly escape past them.
Notes: As this method relied almost entirely on a purely human element, SCP-5277 was able to exploit their susceptibility to biological attacks. One previously ill agent infected numerous others, allowing its escape. Notably, it seems that SCP-5277's effects only begin upon initial containment; it took multiple days for SCP-5277 to escape, on account of the time it took for a sufficient number of personnel to be infected.

Containment Attempt 5277/3
Method: Assembly of a containment unit around SCP-5277.
Result: Failure. SCP-5277 was able to be temporarily detained at gunpoint, causing it to display heightened anger and panic, but it did not attempt to physically resist. However, numerous unaccounted flaws in the equipment used to construct the cell resulted in massive damage and chaos, allowing for SCP-5277's escape.
Notes: It is not entirely clear what actually constitutes "containment" in this case, although it is likely a combination of all of the factors present. One of the primary weaknesses here was our speed; it would take over an hour to assemble the unit, meaning that the present flaws could be easily exploited within that timeframe. The only possible method would be to assemble the perfect containment unit remotely, then somehow force SCP-5277 into it before the containment required to transport and detain it could be exploited.

Containment Attempt 5277/4
Method: Development of a custom containment unit that could contain SCP-5277 by being launched at its location. The containment unit was placed on a Foundation satellite and equipped with propulsion units and an AIC to direct it. Upon activation, it would immediately propel itself towards SCP-5277, trapping it almost immediately.
Result: Failure. The unit worked as expected, and as the containment unit itself bore no weaknesses, it could not be exploited. Personnel moved in to establish permanent occupation of the area. However, when SCP-5277 was observed, it was found it had suffered from a heart attack and died.
Notes: SCP-5277 has been reclassified as Neutralized.

+ More by Calibold +

- More by Calibold -

Calibold's Mega Cool Author Page
— SCP Articles —

SCP-7178 — A Thief In The Night
SCP-7179 — E is for Eternity
SCP-6469-D — A BABY?????
SCP-2082 — Elephas cryophilus
SCP-6156 — Oh, Doug!
SCP-6579-D — The Detective Killer
SCP-6900-D — The House of Stars
SCP-5277 — What Can Go Wrong
SCP-5363-D — Controlled Containment
SCP-3482 — fine mayor posters campaign by dado
SCP-5156 — monke
Director Bold's Proposal-J — "Guys, please don't read our SCPs 🥺"
SCP-2693 — Fell Into The Well, Fell Into The Well, Fell Into The Deep Dark Well
SCP-5559-D — The Great Ambrose Bake-Off!
SCP-3448-J — Should Have Taken Him Sleeping
SCP-4456-D — No One Expects The Spanish Decommission!
SCP-4745 — Spooky Scary Snowman
SCP-4645 — Blackmailing Computer

— Tales —

OpusConfidant Wiki - SCP-4645 - Threatini
Diary Of An Existential Kid
Responsible Promotion
Friends Of Us Never Die
Truth Lies
A Team You Can (Maybe) Trust
Happy Father's Day
Mission: Decommission
A Bold Choice
I Am Become Death
Ulysses B. Donkman and the Heinous Hitman
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Eldritch (Sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas")
Chapter One - The End

— GoI Formats —

Manifest 476: Vanishing Galleon
The Book Of Mathisi, Chapter 1: The Parable Of The Three Princes
LTE-8686-Yellow-Kewpie
UIU File: 2001-023

— Other —

Mega Cool Customizable ACS Add-On Ver. 1.8.0 Guide
Decommissioning Department Hub
Fortune Favors
Decommissioning Dept. Theme
Mega Cool Customizable ACS Add-On Ver. 1.8.0
Mega Cool Author Page Tool Ver. 1.4.0
Calibold's Mega Cool Alternate SCP Logos Page
Calibold's Mega Cool Art Page (It's Mostly Just Icons, But Whatever, It's Still Mega Cool)

— Co-Authored —

Abraka David's Proposal — A Peak Behind the Curtain (feat. Ralliston, Placeholder McD, Guaire, Guezma, Jack Ike, Sherf, Yossipossi, Dr Balthazaar, Grigori Karpin, LORDXVNV, Lt Flops, Uncle Nicolini, Metaphysician)
SCP-7400 — Your Honor, League of Legends (feat. Sherf)
I, Hub (feat. many other authors)
Resurrection: New Faces (feat. Grigori Karpin, Nagiros, and redredred)
SCP-5545 — 𝙰 𝙱 𝙽 𝙾 𝚁 𝙼 𝙰 𝙻 𝙸 𝚃 𝚈 (feat. Yossipossi)
SCP-194 — Thank You For Your Cooperation (feat. CityToast)

— Foreign —
Director Bold's Proposal — Language
SCP-LA-II — Fruit

« SCP-5276 | SCP-5277 | SCP-5278 »


Undated photograph of the Glendale Homestead, with several artificially produced SCP-5280 beehives. Unable to determine identity or context of human entities.

Item #: SCP-5280
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The remaining land containing the Glendale Homestead has been purchased through a Foundation front organization specializing in rural real estate sale. As the Glendale Homestead is located within a considerably populated region, an inconspicuous low-level containment system consisting of era appropriate barbed wire fencing surrounding the property has been approved.
Hives containing SCP-5280 instances have been removed from the property when possible and placed into Site-68's provisional apiary department. Hives affixed to structurally weakened areas within the farmhouse are to remain in their current position in order to prevent structural decay. A permanent, skeleton crew of Site-68 apiculturists have been placed within the Glendale property for the purpose of colony maintenance and general care.
Description: SCP-5280 is an anomalous modification of Apis mellifera (Western honey bee) commonly associated with Daevite horticulture1. SCP-5280 possesses several key, anomalous distinctions in comparison to baseline A. mellifera.

Cold Weather Acclimation — Specimens of SCP-5280 are able to survive in significantly colder climates than baseline A. mellifera. This would have allowed for an expanded range which includes territory claimed by the Daevite Empire in Siberia.
Hive Creation — Hives produced by SCP-5280 (when not provided with artificial beehives) are typically large scale and display advanced architecture. If allowed to develop extensive hives, SCP-5280 frequently produce structures similar to Daevite temples or other culturally significant items.
Horticulture Pollination — The majority of Daevite horticulture cannot naturally reproduce, and requires an external pollinator. However, most nonanomalous organisms are not capable of performing this task; only manual labor and SCP-5280 are able to successfully pollinate anomalous Daevite plants.
Plant Alteration — Plants which have not previously been modified by Daevite horticulture or SCP-5280 will become modified upon extended interaction with SCP-52802. These changes are generally non-anomalous and prepare plants for further modification with Daevite horticulture. Already modified plants are occasionally modified; the distinction for this is unknown.

There are two currently extant colonies of SCP-5280. The first is the original population, located at the Glendale Homestead in ██████, UK. The second is an offshoot colony of the first, which was removed from the Glendale Homestead and transplanted into the Site-68 apiary. The original population was allowed to remain at the Glendale Homestead out of concerns over the cultural and historical research significance of the hive, which is in the shape of a Daevite temple.
SCP-5280 typically behaves identically to baseline A. mellifera. However, when an instance of SCP-5280 encounters another Hymenoptera hive, the entire colony will behave aggressively and attack the other hive. However, SCP-5280 is typically unable to effectively defend itself, and the SCP-5280 hive will be destroyed in either the attack or the Hymenoptera counterattack.
Details of how SCP-5280 was created are unknown, but it is strongly believed that SCP-140-A3 was the original creator of the Glendale Homestead. If this is the case, then SCP-5280 was created prior to the printing of SCP-140, and may represent an alternative attempt at restoring Daevite culture.
The exact story behind the recreation of SCP-5280 is very unclear. Photographic evidence believed to represent early progress in the modification of SCP-5280 has been found at the Glendale Homestead, but this evidence shows cohabitation with baseline humanity. If SCP-140-A cohabitated the Glendale Homestead with nonanomalous humanity, this would have been uncharacteristic of its regular behavior patterns.

Addendum 5280.1 — SCP-140 Excerpt
The following is an excerpt from SCP-140, which describes usage of SCP-5280 during the Daevite civilization and SCP-140-A's attempts at re-establishing a colony at the Glendale Homestead. The below section appeared during the expansion of SCP-140 caused by a 2003 containment breach.

The Little Priestesses4, were of course, crucial to the maintenance of the Empire. Without them, so much of our many great works would not have been possible. Our gardens were not like the rest of the world: they produce our weapons and armies. And who tends to the gardens but the Little Priestesses.
Why the names? They modeled their homes after our own religion. If you were to cut a hive open, you would find inside the exact nature of one of our temples. The queen sat at the front, just as where an Empress or one of her heirs would go where she attends worship. I myself have sat in those seats many times in the past myself, like a little bee.
They mimicked us in so many ways, I have to admit now. The matriarchy, the weapons, the organization. It is funny how we had this little mirror in of the whole of the Empire in a single hive. It encapsulated our culture, our lives, our buildings, the religion. The backbone of our civilization, as it were.
They were always one of the first things brought with us to a new place, so when you saw the blood roses drip, you knew this would be a new home. They would go out, do whatever it is bees do, and then you would begin to see the landscape change in response, turning and folding in on itself to glorious new creations. The Great Works would follow soon after that.
I think that is why my first attempts at bringing the glory of the Empire back were through the Little Priestesses. At the time, it seemed like the most logical place to begin. But there were too many external factors in that plan — turncoat allies, a sour location, bad memories resurfacing — that caused it to all collapse in the end. So be it.

Addendum 5280.2 — Testing Log
In order to test the plant alteration properties of SCP-5280, various species were exposed to SCP-5280 and allowed to develop modifications.

Input: Twelve blooming Rosa chinesis (Chinese rose) specimens in a flower bed.
Output: Each rose began to secrete a thick sap visually and tactically identical to human blood out of the thorns. The chemical makeup of this sap made for quality fertilizer. Ritual testing indicated that the sap could be used in place of human blood for various occult purposes described in SCP-140.

Input: One Larix decidua (European larch) tree.
Output: Parts of the tree naturally began to grow into the shape of humanoid body parts without external molding. The process of modification was slow and took upwards of three years for body parts to become completely modified.
All parts of the tree were otherwise nonanomalous, and did not animate. Limbs could not be successfully used for more advanced Daevite horticulture.

Input: One Citrus reticulata (Mandarin orange) tree.
Output: No change was initially externally visible. Mandarins produced from the tree were radically altered on the interior.
Each mandarin had a singular seed at the center of the fruit, rather than the typical variance found in mandarins. Each of these seed was rudimentarily sculpted into the shape of a unique female head, typically adorned in royal regalia.
When planted, each seed produced a C. rendicula tree with similar seeds, but with features associated with the daeva emphasized and distorted. By the third generation, none of the faces were recognizable as human.

Notes: The following test was intended to allow SCP-5280 to modify a large amount of material. SCP-5280 was exposed to the below material for a full year.
Input: Approximately thirty Buxus sempervirens (European box), unaltered and installed in the Site-68 topiary.
Output: All of the B. sempervirens specimens were altered into a singular, expansive scene, consisting of multiple humanoid figures and buildings. Figures are divided into two groups: daeva (who are in various poses of distress) and soldiers (who are attacking the daeva). The altered topiary is of significant artistic skill, with detail not possible under nonanomalous means.
Based on information from SCP-140, this scene is believed to represent the daeva genocide of 2██ BCE led by Chinese general Qin Kai. This was the initially given end date for the Daevite civilization upon creation of SCP-140.

Notes: The following test was conducted after the discovery of Prunus persica (peach) seeds in the dirt of the Glendale Homestead, which caused a hypothesized connection to SCP-3925.
Input: One instance of SCP-392.
Output: Head produced by SCP-392 instance was capable of human speech. Additionally, unlike other heads produced by SCP-392, the head was missing eyes and auditory ossicles. Head murmured several statements in Low Daevic before suddenly expiring due to various malformations. Translations follow.

Oh! Oh! For the glory of the Empire! Glory above all else, even truth!

Turn back, turn back, my Highness.

Better to cherish and honor the past than blaspheme against it.

What's this but a stain upon the fabric! We cannot wash it out, but it'll never do to stain the rest of it to make it even.

Our legacy is one of failure. We cannot avoid it, no matter how much we try. Look beyond the past, my daughter, or you will see it again and again and again.

Footnotes
1. The Daevite civilization had a strong tradition of growing and modifying plants to gain anomalous traits. See SCP-392 and SCP-3399 for examples.
2. This is commonly, but not exclusively, pollination, and includes any form of physical contact.
3. SCP-140-A is a wealthy individual with unknown connections to the Daevite civilization, who was initially responsible for the creation of all SCP-140 instances. They are suspected to be the author of SCP-140.
4. Name used in SCP-140 to refer to SCP-5280.
5. Anomalous P. persica specimens which produce male human heads instead of fruit.

« SCP-5279 | SCP-5280 | SCP-5281 »


Item#: 5282

Level2

Containment Class:
euclid

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
vlam

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

SCP-5282-1 and SCP-5282-2, respectively.

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-5282-1 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell. This cell must not exceed an area of 8m x 8m. SCP-5282-1 is not to exit the containment cell except during testing. SCP-5282-1 is to be provided with the following:

One plush doll. Subject is permitted to request a change.
One "LEGO Bricks & More - Creative Bucket," for recreational purposes.
Five coloring books of any brand. Books may be swapped at the request of subject.
One box of crayons, any brand.

SCP-5282-2 is to be kept in a standard anomalous item storage locker directly adjacent to SCP-5282-1's cell. SCP-5282-2's recall radius must encompass SCP-5282-1's cell at all times to prevent any unintended containment breaches.
Both SCP-5282-1 and -2 are currently housed at Site-17.
Description: SCP-5282-1 is a female of Western European descent, 105 cm tall, weighing 15.3 kg (~33.7 lbs). SCP-5282-1's apparent age is estimated to be four or five years, however, SCP-5282-1 has been in Foundation custody for several years without any notable change in appearance. SCP-5282-1 refers to itself as "Ava," and states that it does not know its last name.
Little Ava and her beautiful toys,
SCP-5282-2 is the collective designation given to a set of 50 wooden alphabet blocks of varying size. Material analysis of SCP-5282-2 reveals no anomalous materials or structures.
Wanted by all of the girls and the boys
SCP-5282-2's primary anomalous effect manifests when SCP-5282-1 arranges a selection of SCP-5282-2 instances to spell out the name of a noun in the English language. When this takes place, the object described will appear within the general vicinity of SCP-5282-1 within approx. 5 seconds. SCP-5282-2 does not produce these objects, rather, the object is taken from where it was previously located and deposited near SCP-5282-1. The method of transportation is unknown, and is theorized to be anomalous in nature as well.
The colorful letters
SCP-5282-2's secondary anomalous effect occurs when SCP-5282-1 travels a certain distance away from a given SCP-5282-2 instance, which has been designated the "recall radius." This field is spherical in shape, and extends approx. 15m from each SCP-5282-2 instance. When SCP-5282-1 exits this radius, the given SCP-5282-2 instance will immediately appear within 1m of SCP-5282-1.
Make everything better,
Discovery:
SCP-5282-1 and -2 were recovered on ██/██/████. Prior to recovery, several news stations published articles regarding the sudden appearance of a fossilized Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton at █████ █████ ███████ Daycare Center, in [DATA REDACTED], USA. Elsewhere, reports were made about the sudden disappearance of the same Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton at the [DATA REDACTED] Museum of Natural Sciences. Upon investigation, SCP-5282-1 and -2 were found at the site of the appearance, bearing several other objects of unknown origin. The Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton was returned, and amnestics properly distributed. SCP-5282-1's parents have not been identified, however, there is a possibility that [DATA REDACTED].
Always spreading feelings of joy!

-Dr. W
Test Logs:

Test 5282-01

Spelled Word

"ROCK"

Times Performed

One

Results

One small stone, weighing about 1.5 kg

Test 5282-02

Spelled Word

"FRUIT"

Times Performed

Five

Results

Five ripe apples, Red Delicious variety

Notes

SCP-5282-1 described this type of apple to be their "favorite." - Researcher Weaver

Test 5282-03

Spelled Word

"TREE"

Times Performed

One

Results

One adult English oak tree, with roots still intact. Appearance caused significant damage to the roof of the testing room, which was quickly repaired.

Test 5282-04

Spelled Word

"COMPUTER"

Times Performed

One

Results

One Dell laptop, owned by Researcher Mallory

Test 5282-05

Spelled Word

"DOG"

Times Performed

Three

Results

One Japanese Spitz, randomly appearing near SCP-5282-1 three consecutive times.

Notes

The Japanese Spitz in question was provided by Researcher Weaver, and was shown to SCP-5282-1 prior to testing.

Test 5282-06

Spelled Word

"GOOD DOG"

Times Performed

One

Results

SCP-343, bearing the appearance of a Great Dane

Notes

While this was intended to test whether SCP-5282-2 would cause things to appear based on SCP-5282-1's preference, a misspelling of the word "good" led to a minor containment breach. I am going to suggest that SCP-5282-1 be guided in the spelling of words via SCP-5282-2 from this point on to prevent any further unintended containment breaches. We're just lucky that this happened before we tried to spell "lizard" or something. - Site Director Bryson

Test 5282-07

Spelled Word

"███████ WEAVER"

Times Performed

One

Results

Researcher Weaver, being transported ~2m from a sitting position.

Test 5282-08

Spelled Word

"██████ MALLORY"

Times Performed

One

Results

Researcher Mallory, being transported ~3m from a standing position.

Test 5282-09

Spelled Word

"AVA"

Times Performed

One

Results

N/A

Test 5282-10

Spelled Word

"ANYTHING"

Times Performed

Three

Results

One CD copy of "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice, one unidentified house key, and one carrot.

Test 5282-11

Spelled Word

"MOMMY"

Times Performed

One

Results

N/A

Test 5282-12

Spelled Word

"DADDY"

Times Performed

One

Results

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Item #: SCP-5283
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its nature, SCP-5283 is currently self-contained at Site-37.
Description: SCP-5283 is an immovable, third-party Nerf N-Strike Elite Universal suction dart stuck to the ceiling of Site-37's central cafeteria.
Addendum-1: Removal Attempts

Attempt
Method
Outcome

#1
Researcher Harbor Wilson attempts to pull SCP-5283 from the ceiling.
Failure

#2
A different staff member attempts to pull SCP-5283 from the ceiling.
Failure

#3-8
Dr. Wilson directs six other staff members to attempt to remove SCP-5283
Failure

#9
Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a knife.
Failure

#10
Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a motorized saw.
Failure

#11
Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a chainsaw.
Failure

#12
Dr. Wilson attempts to cut SCP-5283 from the ceiling using a PLS.1
Failure

#13-16
Dr. Wilson attempts to remove the entire ceiling tile SCP-5283 is attached to.2
Failure

#17
Dr. Wilson attempts to burn SCP-5283 using a lighter.
Failure

#18
Dr. Wilson attempts to melt SCP-5283 using a flamethrower.
Failure

#19
Dr. Wilson attempts to destroy SCP-5283 using three minuscule detonation charges.
Failure

#20-23
Dr. Wilson attempts to destroy SCP-5283 with a shotgun.
Failure

#24
Dr. Wilson attempts to destabilize the local reality around SCP-5283 to result in its disconnection from the ceiling.
Failure

#25
Dr. Wilson prays for SCP-5283's removal.
Failure

#26
Dr. Wilson prays for his removal.
N/A

#27
Dr. Wilson spends approximately 78 minutes shouting at SCP-5283, demanding it fall off of the ceiling.
Failure

#28-███
Dr. Wilson attempts to punch SCP-5283 off of the ceiling.
Fuck This Failure

Further attempts are pending.

To: Senior Researcher Rebecca Larson (tenpics.eruces|r_nosral#tenpics.eruces|r_nosral)
From: Researcher Harbor Wilson (tenpics.eruces|h_nosliw#tenpics.eruces|h_nosliw)
Subject: THE DAMN NERF DART

I say this in the most respectful way possible: What the hell do you expect me to do about the nerf dart? Seriously. I have tried everything. Manpower. Blades. Saws. Fire - no, you do not need to remind me of how big of a failure that was. Detonation charges. I even spent over an hour shouting at the damn thing! No matter what I do, it doesn't budge. Nothing! I feel like I'm going insane. I've become a laughingstock here. The guy who "can't even move a nerf dart." It's degrading.
If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. Because I am this fucking close to submitting my resignation letter.

To: Researcher Harbor Wilson (tenpics.eruces|h_nosliw#tenpics.eruces|h_nosliw)
From: Senior Researcher Rebecca Larson (tenpics.eruces|r_nosral#tenpics.eruces|r_nosral)
Subject: RE: THE DAMN NERF DART

Have you tried asking it nicely?

Following this email correspondence, Dr. Wilson was seen walking into Site-37's central cafeteria while muttering the phrase "What kind of bullshit idea is that?" He then reportedly walked over to SCP-5283 and asked, "Can you please get off of the ceiling, SCP-5283?" He was immediately met with the laughter of most nearby staff - much to Wilson's seeming embarrassment - though it ceased moments later when SCP-5283 seemingly obliged the request, falling from the ceiling. Since its removal, all anomalous effects have ceased and SCP-5283 has been reclassified as "Neutralized."
Dr. Wilson has since started seeing a Foundation therapist.

Footnotes
1. Portable Laser Saw.
2. Four separate attempts are made using; a knife, motorized saw, chainsaw, and PLS.