Item #: SCP-5688
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5688 is to be stored in a sealed containment unit located at Site-22, and kept under surveillance at all times. All reality destabilization events which occur within this containment unit are to be logged for future analysis. In the event that maintenance of this containment chamber is required, SCP-5688 is to be removed from the unit prior to personnel entering.
All research proposals involving SCP-5688 must be authorized by Dr. Henrik before being enacted.
Description: SCP-5688 is a giant human hand, three meters in height and one meter in width, which was unearthed by Foundation personnel during scheduled underground expansion of Site-22. The area around SCP-5688 is subject to extreme and sudden destabilization of reality, with no known indicators preceding these events. It is currently unknown how Site-22 escaped being affected by these reality destabilization events prior to SCP-5688's discovery.
Periodically, SCP-5688 will twitch and spasm. This behaviour does not appear to correspond to any specific stimuli.

Addendum 5688-1 (Testing Log):
The following is a record of specific tests undertaken in order to measure the specific forms that reality destabilization events surrounding SCP-5688 take. A full record of all tests is not available upon request from the Site-22 archive.

Test 5688-1
Testing Personnel: D-94911
Stimuli: D-94911 is instructed to shine a flashlight on SCP-5688 in order to measure its effects on light.
Result: No result when flashlight is shone upon SCP-5688. However, when it is subsequently shone upon the far wall of the containment chamber, a shadow resembling a spiral is briefly visible.

Test 5688-2
Testing Personnel: D-49264
Stimuli: D-49264 is ordered to make physical contact with SCP-5688.
Result: D-49264's left hand (which was not making physical contact with SCP-5688) shrinks rapidly until it is no longer visible. Once removed from the vicinity of SCP-5688, the hand returns to its normal size.

Test 5688-3
Testing Personnel: D-99134
Stimuli: D-99134 is ordered to strike SCP-5688 with a sledgehammer.
Result: D-99134 strikes SCP-5688 with a sledgehammer with no visible result. Two days later, D-99134 is found dead in his sleeping quarters with his tongue twisted into a spiral shape. Security recordings show no unusual phenomena during the night.

Test 5688-4
Testing Personnel: D-22131
Stimuli: D-22131 is ordered to fire upon SCP-5688 with a handgun.
Result: D-22131 fires upon SCP-5688. Alarmed by the sudden gunshot, D-22131 returns fire and shoots D-22131 in the stomach, causing severe injuries that result in their death shortly afterwards. D-22131 is safely retrieved from the containment chamber and treated for shock.

Text 5688-5
Testing Personnel: D-591134
Stimuli: D-591134 is ordered to wash the blood off of SCP-5688 using a hose.
Result: Upon the water making contact with SCP-5688, D-591134 violently explodes, showering the containment chamber and SCP-5688 with blood and viscera.

Text 5688-6
Testing Personnel: D-591134
Stimuli: D-591134 is ordered to wash the blood off of SCP-5688 using a hose.
Result: Nothing happens, and continues happening.

Addendum 5688-2 (Interview Log)
The following is a record of Dr. Henrik's attempt to ascertain whether SCP-5688 possesses any form of sapience - and if so, what level of control it has over the reality destabilization events that occur in its vicinity.
Interviewer: Dr. Henrik
Interviewee: SCP-5688

<Begin Log>
(Dr. Henrik simply steps over it and enters SCP-5688's containment chamber, remaining at a safe distance. He begins reading from a list of questions.)
Dr. Henrik: Hello. Can you understand me?
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Are you aware of where you are right now? Please, uh, twitch once for yes.
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Do you know who I am?
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Can you hear me?
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: (sighs) This is pointless. What level of control, if any -
(SCP-5688 twitches.)
Dr. Henrik: (loudly) Hello? Are you there?
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Damn it.
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Well, uh, that's all she wrote, I suppose. We're done here.
(Dr. Henrik turns and leaves the containment chamber.)
<End Log>
(Dr. Henrik enters the observation chamber, breathing deeply and rubbing his temples. His coworker, Junior Researcher Darnell, looks up at him sympathetically from his seat.)
Junior Researcher Darnell: Well, it was always a long-shot, sir.
Dr. Henrik: I know, I know - it's just that I thought we had something there, when it twitched, you know?
Junior Researcher Darnell: With all due respect, Doctor, it does that all the time. I don't think we should read that much into it. Anyway, you're done for the day?
Dr. Henrik: (yawns) What? No. We've got plenty more work to get done today.
Junior Researcher Darnell: (laughs) The thing is, sir, I've just received a message from the Site Director. I've been ordered to order you to go home and get some rest.
(Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Well, I suppose if it's an order.
Junior Research Darnell: Grab some shut-eye before you end up collapsing, Doc.
Dr. Henrik: Yeah, yeah. Guess I'm clocking off then.
(Dr. Henrik walks to the observation chamber exit. Normally, this door is locked, but it's okay: Dr. Henrik has a key-card with access. He swipes it and leaves the room, entering the hallway outside. He begins walking towards the main entrance, passing Dr. Carè as he goes. Dr. Carè smiles at him.)
(Dr. Henrik enters the main entrance chamber and approaches the security desk.)
Security Officer Graham: (sat at reception desk) Heading out, sir?
Dr. Henrik: Apparently.
Security Officer Graham: (laughs) Man, I hear that.
(Security Officer Graham presses the spiral key on his keyboard and the main door unlocks.)
Security Officer Graham: Signed you out, sir. Drive safe, okay?
(Dr. Henrik steps out of the main entrance of Site-22 and blinks blearily, rubbing his hands together as a result of the unexpected cold. It's midnight out in the desert, with the moon shining in the sky like a spiral.)
(This man approaches his car. Normally, it would be locked, but that's okay: he has his car keys. He unlocks the car door and flops down in the front seat. He doesn't notice what's in the back.)
(Dr. Henrik starts the car and begins driving home to his house. It's a long drive - it looks like the white sand of the desert stretches on forever. He doesn't notice what's in the back.)
(He passes a billboard advertising a local small claims lawyer. You've seen that kind of advertisement before, haven't you? The lawyer's name is Mr. Carson, and his eyes are like spirals as he follows the car's progress down the highway.)
Dr. Henrik: (That man's car hits a bump in the road.) Shit.
(The headlights of the car twist outwards like a spiral, illuminating Dr. Henrik's house. The white sand of the desert seem to stretch on forever, and there's nothing else. The house is three stories tall, and the lights are on.)
(Dr. Henrik gets out of the car and tightens his coat around himself. It's so cold.)
(He knocks on the front door of his house. A woman, Dr. Henrik's Wife, answers the door. Her facial features are circumvoluted.)
Dr Henrik: Hello. Can I come in?
Dr. Henrik's Wife: (Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Can you understand me?
Dr. Henrik's Wife: (Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: Do you … do you know who I am?
Dr. Henrik's Wife: (Pause.)
Dr. Henrik: (sighs) This is pointless. Please, can I -
(Dr. Henrik's Wife slams the door shut.)
(Dr. Henrik unlocks the front door and walks into his house, yawning and stretching. He doesn't notice what's in the back.)
Dr. Henrik: (laughing, but a bit nervously, like when you don't want to admit you're unsettled) Mary, you won't believe the kind of day I've had today.
(Mary has left the television on. The film Revolutions is on.)
Dr. Henrik: (annoyed) Ah, Jesus.
(Dr. Henrik turns the television off and begins climbing up the stairs towards the bedroom.)
Dr. Henrik: Mary, you left the TV on again! Electricity doesn't pay for itself, you know!
(Dr. Henrik opens the door of his daughter Mary's bedroom. When he sees that she is fast asleep, he can't bring himself to wake her up to tell her off. He quietly closes the door again. He doesn't notice what's in the back.)
(Dr. Henrik rubs his eyes.)
Dr. Henrik: (quietly) No rest for the wicked.
(He walks to his bedroom and opens the door. He takes off his clothes and gets into his single bed. He turns out the lights.)
(He doesn't notice I am in the back.)
(I step out of the back. My limbs twist like a spiral and my head tolls like a pendulum. I slowly approach Dr. Henrik's bed, where he is gently sleeping. His eyes are closed. I raise up a counter-clockwise fist. I gurgle.)
(Dr. Henrik opens his eyes.)
Dr. Henrik: (shouts)
(I bring down my fist on Dr. Henrik's head as he tries to jump out of bed. The first blow disorients him, and he collapses to the floor as blood drips from the small crater in his skull. As a result, he can't do much about the second or third blows, which leave him face down on his favourite carpet, which rapidly undergoes a change in colouration. Now he is gurgling too.)
(Little Mary does not wake up.)
(I clumsily pull back Dr. Henrik's sleeve, revealing his long, thin arm and beautiful, soft hand. Normally, this would be attached to his body, but that's okay: I have a handsaw.)
(Once I've successfully retrieved the object in question, making my way down the stairs to my backyard. I tread softly so I don't wake up little Mary, who's sleeping so softly.)
(It's cold outside, and the moon is shining in the sky like a spiral.)
(I find what I'm looking for: a nest of ants is expanding its nest, white-coated drones and faceless queens hard at work.)
(Sneakily, stealthily, I bury my prize underneath their nest. I am a giver of gifts. A generous thing. Once they find it, one of the ants begins to approach it. A stray drop of blood makes the approach towards the hand somewhat difficult, however, but that's no problem at all.)
(Dr. Henrik simply steps over it and enters SCP-5688's containment chamber, remaining at a safe distance. He begins reading from a list of questions.)
<End Log>

« SCP-5687 | SCP-5688 | SCP-5689 »


▸ More by this Author ◂

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F.A.Q.

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SCP-5689.

Item Number: 5689
Object Class/Clearance: Euclid/Four
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5689 is to be cordoned off and removed from local route guidance systems and maps. References to SCP-5689 are to be scrubbed from all media. Two guards are to be posted outside SCP-5689 at all times, and maintenance is regularly performed to ensure the stability of the SEA-CM1 at all times.
The SEA-CM is to remain powered up at all times, with regular repairs and system updates. In the event of a SEA-CM overheat, first priority is to ensure there is nothing that exits SCP-5689. Use of any-means-necessary operations are authorized for this purpose.
Description: SCP-5689 is a former farmhouse in unincorporated Edmonton, Canada. Intensive searches led to a lack of any identification of an owner, thus making it likely to have been abandoned for a considerable amount of time. SCP-5689's structure mainly consists of rotting wood and rusting metal. The road to the farmhouse shows similar signs of neglect, containing many potholes and ditches. The front door displays a placard that is mostly scratched out. On the placard, a section reading "Of Abnor" is the only legible portion remaining.
In an approximately 20 meter radius around SCP-5689, no plant life is capable of growing; weeds, old-growth trees, and other types have all died of an unknown blight shortly after being replanted near the farmhouse. Remaining within this radius causes stomach issues such as nausea and indigestion. Reports have stated such effects compound in severity the closer a subject is to the fourth room of SCP-5689.
The farmhouse contains five rooms, of which four are accessible. No item inside any room is capable of leaving SCP-5689 via physical means.
The first has an extensive pulley and pipe system connected to a large machine which bears resemblance to a blender. Touching the blade of the machine triggers visual and auditory hallucinations, reported by subjects to be similar to the following transcript.

[Nothing can be seen. The entire room is entirely black.]
Unknown Voice: Fuck this. I can't handle it anymore.
[Sounds of paper flapping and metal striking wood can be heard.]
Unknown Voice 2: We did it.
[Subjects' view is replaced with a grainy, black-and-white view of the room, which appears frozen in time. A figure can be seen standing over a number of papers flying off a desk. Another is in the doorway, holding a large tube with an unknown liquid in its hand.]

A microscope is present on a desk near the blender. The view from its lenses is heavily clouded, and snow has entered through a small hole in the roof.
The second has a large network of pipes set into the walls. These connect various rooms in the house, only to meet at a central hub set up with a computer terminal on a desk. No other furniture is in the room. Faded papers and canine bones are laid haphazardly around, implying they were tossed or thrown. Upon touching the terminal for the first time, subjects will experience visual and auditory hallucinations of the following transcript, before returning to normal.

[Only darkness can be seen. A clink can be heard, followed by a sip of an unknown liquid.]
Unknown Voice: We lost another.
Unknown Voice 2: Another? How many is that?
Unknown Voice: Seventy-eight now.
Unknown Voice 2: It's not fair. No one's going to know.
Unknown Voice: But that's how it has to be. We'll keep trying until it's perfect. Everyone will be so much better with him.
[The darkness dissipates, replaced with a grainy and blurry filter, entirely in black and white, preventing detailed viewing of the hallucination, which has stopped moving. Two faded, humanoid figures can be seen sitting on unseen chairs near the terminal, which is idling on a log-in screen. One holds a bottle in its hand.]

The keyboard of the terminal appears recently used, due to a lack of dust and cobwebs compared to the rest of the room. Many keys are missing or broken. Barks and whimpers of dogs can be heard throughout the room, which increase in volume when the remains are touched.
The third has innumerable masses of faded, orange-black slime strewn about the walls and floor of the room, which smells of rotting meat. Two desks are the only furniture in the room. Each has a series of small, sealed, and translucent tubes filled with a similar slime, which attempts to avoid touch when the glass is tapped or held. This slime slightly lessens the emotional effects of the farmhouse itself. Each tube is connected to a large pipe system, which connects to the large machine in the previous room. A number of children's toys are on the floor; they are soiled. A wooden train track set, arranged in a long and winding loop, is on the floor, with arrows crudely carved into it. Slime follows the trail of arrows around the track.
The fourth is inaccessible. Touching the rusted, dented door produces an intense smell of rotting meat and rusted metal. Putting an ear to the door produces the sounds of a faint ticking, running water, wet thumps, screams, and hushed sobs. A prototype SEA-CM system is attached to the door. A small label is affixed to it, reading "NE_ATI_E SINK."
The fifth consists of a small entrance to an attic. The latch, chains, and opening mechanisms are made out of beryllium bronze, and are forced shut due to a congealed slime similar to that in the third room. Moving closer to the attic causes conflicting feelings of dread, anxiety, fear, and anger in subjects. Attempting to open the latch leads to loud, guttural gurgling noises to be produced from the ceiling.
Worm-like, reptilian masses of slime with pseudopod-like limbs will then seep from cracks in the ceiling. These fall to the floor, splitting and recombining in an amoeboid fashion. The masses frequently attempt to separate themselves from their limbs, and hiss and recoil from human touch. Eventually, these masses either tear themselves apart, or are eaten by local insects following a series of struggles. Both outcomes result in death of the masses. No mass has survived longer than 30 minutes.
Reports of a smokelike, serpentine creature have been filed, though no sightings have been confirmed.

Footnotes
1. Subdual of Emotional Anomaly Control Matrix

« SCP-5688 | SCP-5689 | SCP-5690 »


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Info

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89.71%
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Item#: 5691

Level2

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
ekhi

Risk Class:
warning

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5691 is to be contained in its entirety in a standard containment locker at Site-81 requiring Level 2 security clearance. SCP-5691-α-24 and -25 are to be contained in separate containment lockers requiring Level 3 and 4 security clearances respectively to access.
Description: SCP-5691 is an old unmarked black briefcase of average size. It contains several pots of paint and a small sphere, hereafter referred to as SCP-5691-α and -β respectively.
SCP-5691 appears superficially similar to non-anomalous briefcases, however is able to contain SCP-5691-β entirely despite the internal dimensions of the briefcase being smaller than the diameter of the latter. SCP-5691 is also capable of manifesting a new instance of SCP-5691-β every 96 hours, replacing the existing sphere if it has not been removed from the briefcase.
SCP-5691-α collectively refers to 25 separate glass paint pots, which are measured to be 10 centimeters deep containing acrylic paint. Despite this, each paint pot can effectively produce an infinite amount of paint, as shown by the constant volume of paint in the pots despite the number of tests conducted.
The paint from SCP-5691-α does not exhibit any anomalous properties while wet, rather manifesting them when dry. When this occurs, the composition of the painted surface is converted to a mixture of varying amounts of sand, silt and clay consistent with differing types of non-anomalous soils. The extent of conversion depth typically reaches up to 0.5 meters below the surface of the object being painted, and as such, testing of SCP-5691-α is to be conducted on a designated outdoor concrete surface at Site-81.
Local temperature and humidity within a short distance from the affected area, relative to its surface area, will change to reflect typical conditions in their corresponding climate types. A small artificial gravitational field is also formed during this process and maintained by anomalous means, allowing for SCP-5691-α-created environments to ignore local gravity and remain "anchored" to the affected surfaces.
Shortly after conversion, unidentified minuscule flora and fauna begin to anomalously appear on affected surfaces, with clear adaptations for the type of climate visible. It should be noted that the area of the affected surface is proportional to the size of the organisms that materialize there. Further information on these organisms can be retrieved via the list of observed SCP-5691 entities, available upon request at the Site-81 archive center.
SCP-5691-α can be divided into 25 separate designations, with differing colours and effects.

SCP-5691-α instance designation
Description

1-10
Varying shades of green. Application to a surface will result in the formation of a temperate environment. Manifested instances have included tropical rainforests, temperate forests, taigas and savannahs. Local humidity and temperature will vary accordingly. Flora that spawn here may not necessarily contain chlorophyll, despite the colour of the paint used in its creation. Given enough time, these environments tend to exhibit the most biodiversity.

11-20
Varying shades of yellow and brown. Application to a surface will result in the formation of arid environments, with local temperatures ranging from 70ºC to -115ºC. Research personnel are advised to prepare protective equipment when testing with SCP-5691-α-16 up to SCP-5691-α-20. Few flora and fauna have been recorded in these instances given the extremity of the environment.

21
Grey. Application to a surface will result in the formation of mountains and hills via spontaneous aggregation of minerals from an unknown source. The elevation of these landforms is mostly inconsistent, and appears to vary at random. Vegetation on these instances tend to be sparse, but show variation within close proximity to other instances.

22-23
Light and dark blue. Application to a surface will result in the formation of freshwater and saltwater bodies respectively with varying depths. It is noted that the proximity of SCP-5691-α-22 and -23 to other instances of SCP-5691-α and the depth of the body of water formed is typically proportional. Instances of the bodies of water being deeper than the expected conversion depth of 0.5 meters have been recorded.

24
Bright red. Application to a surface will result in the formation of a volcanically active region. Testing with SCP-5691-α-24 is restricted to personnel with Level 3 clearance and above. Personnel are required to equip fire-proximity suits during testing.

25
White. No effects observed. Heavily alters local Hume levels1.

SCP-5691-β has been confirmed to be composed of a silicon-iron composite, and varies in size and mass with each instance. When it is completely covered in paint from SCP-5691-α, it demanifests completely. Instances of SCP-5691-β that are not completely painted do not demanifest, and can be safely contained.
Despite this, existing infrastructure in Site-81's C Wing do not allow for feasible mass-storage of SCP-5691-β instances, and as such, all tests involving SCP-5691-β are to ensure that it is completely painted and allowed to de-manifest. Requests to supply the Site-81 break rooms with samples of SCP-5691-α and SCP-5691-β2 for recreational purposes are under consideration.
SCP-5691 was purchased from an estate sale in Giverny, France by Senior Researcher Gachet, who only discovered the briefcase's anomalous property after prying it open. Prior to this, it is believed the item remained within the estate's storerooms for at least 80 years, and most likely has not been opened throughout this period.
Event-5691-K23: On 22/05/12, Junior Researcher Danan partially coated SCP-5691-β with a sample of SCP-5691-α-25 during the latter's initial test. As noted in security footage and on-site Hume readings, local Hume levels dropped sharply after 4 minutes, leading to the expiration of Junior Researcher Danan within one of the spontaneously formed pockets of non-linear time before proper containment procedures could be undertaken. The low-Hume area grew to encompass Site-81's C Wing before the on-site Scranton Reality Anchors were activated, restoring local reality to baseline levels and ending the anomalous event, designated Event 5691-K23. Testing on SCP-5691-α-25 was subsequently discontinued by order of Site Director Nadal. It is currently believed that the SCP-5691-β instance present during the test was submerged in one of the pools of SCP-5691-α-25 formed during the event, and subsequently demanifested.
Event 5691-CB09: On 17/03/32, the exoplanet Kepler-2███ anomalously disappeared. Closer observation of the exoplanet and its solar system revealed that [REDACTED]. Following this event, a similar exoplanet in a different star system has been designated Kepler-2███, with all publicly accessible information pertaining to the original exoplanet and star system updated by Foundation operatives in various prominent astronomical institutions to reflect this revision. The implications and exact nature of the Kepler-2███ event are currently under debate by Foundation and GOC astronomical institutions. The former Kepler-2███ star system remains under close observation for any secondary anomalous events.
Addendum 5691-W4: After extensive testing, it is believed instances of SCP-5691-β are anomalously linked to existing exoplanets within the Milky Way galaxy. During periodic surveys by Foundation satellites on nearby solar systems, a few exoplanets have been observed to spontaneously undergo transmutation in composition and atmospheric composition. Further observation has confirmed the topology of selected exoplanets to be consistent with tests conducted in previous years.
Addendum 5691-W6:
As of 08/05/33, testing on SCP-5691-β has been discontinued permanently, amidst concerns that any SCP-5691-β instance may affect Earth, as there is no practical method of determining which exoplanet any such instance may affect. The threat of a GK-class hostile-greenhouse scenario was judged to outweigh any grounds for continued SCP-5691-β testing by the O5 council. However, testing on SCP-5691-α instances -1 to -23 on non-anomalous surfaces have been permitted due to the potential pharmaceutical applications of the manifested entities.
Addendum 5691-F22: Following Event 5691-CB09, a letter manifested inside SCP-5691 alongside its anomalous contents, addressed to a Claude █████ (designated PoI-23653). Investigations have thus far been unable to locate or contact PoI-23653, with local records stating that the individual had passed away in 1926. A transcript of the letter, translated from French, can be found below.

Dear Claude,
That was a pretty long holiday, wasn't it? Have you finally lost your mind? Just what were you thinking? NEVER USE UNDILUTED ARGENT!.
We went over this SO MANY TIMES since the last incident, and now you douse the entire canvas in it. I was barely able to convince our buyers that it was one of David's (you know how they love him and his abstract "modernist" nonsense) so PLEASE LAY OFF THE [EXPLETIVE] ARGENT.
In addition, I am to inform you about the upcoming exhibition in the Pleiades on 30 March 2053. Please bring your best works, and preferably without a third deluge of argent.
Extremely irritated, Vincent

Investigations into the identities of Vincent (PoI-23654) and David (PoI-23655), as well as the "buyers" identified in the letter are currently ongoing. The Pleiades star cluster has since been designated as a Site of Interest by the Foundation Office of Celestial Anomalies, and remains under close observation for anomalous activity.

Footnotes
1. See Event-5691-K23.
2. See Addendum 5691-W12.


Item #: SCP-5692
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5692 is currently held in a modified humanoid containment chamber at Site-29. The cell has altered temperature/atmospheric conditions to accommodate the subject's physiology, the specifications of which are outlined in Document-5692-11. SCP-5692 is to be fed a concentrated mixture of amino acids, simple sugars, and ionic phosphates every 12-15 hours. The specifications for the preparation of this mixture are outlined in Document-5692-13.
Class-A amnestics are authorized to be used on all parties associated with the containment of SCP-5692-A instances. Specific methods for the containment of instances of SCP-5629-A are to be determined on a case-by-case basis by participating operatives. Contained instances of SCP-5692-A are to be held in Site-29 with containment conditions appropriate to their physiological needs. These conditions may be determined through research of the subject or by using information provided by the subject. Further information regarding each contained instance of SCP-5692-A can be found on Documents-5692-(37-109).
Research into the biology, behavior, and prior activities of SCP-5692 as well as instances of SCP-5692-A are currently being conducted under the supervision of Dr. Verner, head of the Extraterrestrial Anomaly Division of Site-29. Any concerns or inquires regarding the research or containment of SCP-5692 or instances of SCP-5692-A are to be directed to Dr. Verner.
Description: SCP-5692 is a slug-like sapient organism of extraterrestrial origin measuring 2.3 m in length and folded backwards at the midpoint of its body to allow its anterior half to be aligned perpendicular to the ground. SCP-5692 possesses a head with a pair of large red eyes, an elongated, tube-shaped mouthpart, and two clusters of small pores on either side designed to facilitate respiration. SCP-5692 possesses a pair of stalk-like organs on either side of its torso, each ending in a round, sensitive organ capable of sprouting a number of flexible mycelium-like protrusions at will. The protrusions have been confirmed by SCP-5692 to be a means of reproduction and environmental manipulation. SCP-5692 is a dull orange in colour with dark and light countershading similar to many marine animals.
SCP-5692 was recovered on October ██, 2014 from a small cabin in a forest near ███████, Oregon after several reports of UFO activity in the region were investigated by Foundation operatives. The incident was contained without incident and upon being confronted by operatives, SCP-5692 surrendered willingly into Foundation custody. SCP-5692 has been cooperative with Foundation staff since its containment and appears to answer most inquiries with sincerity.
SCP-5692 is able to communicate using of a small electronic device embedded directly in its nervous system at the point where the structures analogous to a brain and ocular nerves meet. According to SCP-5692, the device is a translator capable of processing various methods of visual communication, including written words and the movement of lips, and directly implanting the abstract concepts they represent into the brain of SCP-5692.
This device is also capable of converting the thoughts of SCP-5692 into audible words and/or holographic projections of written language using a speaker/holographic emitter located directly below the skin between its eyes. Using this device, SCP-5692 can understand the top 250 most common spoken and written languages on Earth as well as several hundred forms of extraterrestrial communication. SCP-5692 claims that due to its placement, removal of this device would instantly result in its death. Removal of this device for further study is not authorized.
SCP-5692 is responsible for the integration of fifty to fifty-five extraterrestrial lifeforms, designated instances of SCP-5692-A, into Earth's societies and ecosystems between the years of 2001 and 2014, forty-two of which been have been successfully contained. The appearances and reasons for appearing on Earth vary drastically among instances of SCP-5692-A. All instances of SCP-5692-A are sapient and have previously engaged in business transactions with SCP-5692. The whereabouts and activity of all contained instances of SCP-5692-A were provided to Foundation personnel by SCP-5692 shortly after its initial containment.
Addenda:

Show Addendum-5692-1

Hide Addnedum-5692-1

Addendum-5692-1
The following is an incomplete list of contained instances of SCP-5692-A. The recovery of all subjects took place within a few months of the containment of SCP-5692. Many instances of SCP-5692-A disguised themselves using a complex organic gel accompanied by a convincing prosthetic skin-covering. The composition of the gel varies depending on the physiology of the subject and is designed to simulate the musculature of the subject's assumed identity. The gel is able to respond to neural inputs from the subject and is controlled as if it were the subject's own body1.
All instances of SCP-5692-A observed thus far possess a translation/communication device similar to the one observed in SCP-5692. All human identities assumed by instances of SCP-5692-A are of people that had not existed prior to the subject's arrival on Earth and were accomplished by the forging of relevant documents.

Instance Number
Description
Recovery Report
Additional Information Provided by SCP-5692

SCP-5692-A-3
A reptilian humanoid entity measuring 1.8 m in height. The entity could change its outward appearance to resemble any human to an indistinguishable degree. Reasons for appearing on Earth are currently under investigation. Remains of the subject are currently held in Site-29's Bio Lab.
The subject was found to be posing as a politics professor at ███████ University for several years. It is unknown if this is the only identity the subject assumed while on Earth. Upon discovery by Foundation operatives, the subject injected itself with an unknown chemical compound that converted all its bodily tissues, excluding its skin, into a thick, green, highly basic solution resulting in death in a matter of seconds.
“I'm not entirely sure why he came to me. He was more than capable of hiding on his own and by the sounds of things, he had some pretty powerful friends.”

SCP-5692-A-11
An organism superficially resembling a rodent with hairless white skin and measuring 0.8 m in length. The subject possesses 5 prehensile tails capable of manipulating its environment and lacks hind limbs, ears, and nostrils. The subject was apparently on Earth to hide from an extraterrestrial crime organization that it was formerly affiliated with.
The subject adopted the false identity of Ricky “Bambino” Buccelli and engaged in organized criminal activity in Chicago for a period of several years. The subject was contained without incident. On several occasions since its initial containment the subject has offered to exchange information about its former crime affiliates, both terrestrial and extraterrestrial, in exchange for freedom or special containment privileges.
“Once a rat, always a rat.”

SCP-5692-A-14
A silicon-based organism measuring 0.27 m in length resembling a translucent, grey cephalopod with 4 limbs and a cartilaginous endoskeleton. The subject was required to regularly consume sand to facilitate its bodily needs. According to the subject, it is a refugee of a massive interstellar war surrounding the Kepler-22 star system.
The subject used a highly specialized gel capable of supporting its metabolism and maintaining a convincing disguise as a common house cat2. The subject posed as a family pet in a Toronto apartment for several years before being recovered by Foundation operatives while attempting to feed stray cats outside its apartment complex at night.
“All the essentials come free and all you have to do is sit by the window when it's sunny. Honestly, sounds like a pretty good gig… except for having to eat the litter.”

SCP-5692-A-23
A complex network of extraterrestrial algae forming structures analogous to neurons and synapses. The resulting entity is a sapient photosynthetic mat at the water's surface capable of splitting into separate intelligences and regrouping multiple of these intelligences into a single entity. One isolated intelligence occupied a gel-based disguise of a 60-65-year-old Caucasian male. The totality of the subject is currently held in 27 large containment vats in the ecological anomaly section of Site-29.
The disguised portion of the subject was found to live in a small house at the edge of a swamp in the Florida Keys. Locals knew the individual as a reclusive eccentric known as “Bayou Bill”3. All information surrounding Bayou Bill was successfully removed from the surrounding area. Most of the subject was growing in a 3.4 km radius surrounding the house, causing major disturbances in the local ecosystem. The total recovery of the subject took 24 days due to its sprawling, decentralized nature. Despite claiming that its purpose on the planet was to research aquatic lifeforms, it is now believed that the subject was taking advantage of the environmental conditions of the swamp for growth and reproduction, the end goal of which remains uncertain.
“What, you think it was plotting a takeover? I doubt it… Come on now. How was I supposed to know anyway? He could fit in a glass of water when I met him. Besides, if your planet's weak enough to be conquered by seagrass, maybe that's just natural selection.”

SCP-5692-A-29
A 1.3 m long superficially mammalian creature resembling a snake with shaggy brown fur and 2 sets of thermosensitive organs directly below its eyes. The subject's tail diverged into 7 points which acted as environmental manipulators. The subject also has a litter of 57 purely aquatic offspring that each measure 7-10 cm in diameter and resemble sea urchins with soft, flexible hairs rather than spines. The subject reportedly sought to escape overpopulation regulations on its home planet that would require it to terminate 42 of its offspring.
The subject was disguised as a 34-year-old female botanist living in a small town along the Mexico/US border. The subject kept its offspring in pet aquariums in the back of their flower shop. Upon initial containment, the subject was extremely hostile but became cooperative after accommodations were made to allow the subject and offspring to be contained together.
“Oh yeah, I remember her… gave her a discount, I think. Never let it be said that I don't have a heart.4”

SCP-5692-A-32
A 1.5 m tall vaguely humanoid organism with several avian features including a toothed beak, a blue downy feather-like skin covering designed for thermoregulation, and talon-like hands and feet. According to the subject and SCP-5692, the species to which the subject belongs has an average lifespan of 16 years. The subject cited tourism as its reason for appearing on Earth. The remains of the subject are preserved and held in Site-29's Bio Lab.
The subject spent the last 2 years of its life posing as a wealthy 70-75-year-old Turkish man. Using this disguise, the subject visited numerous sights of natural and historical significance on every continent5. The subject entered willingly into Foundation custody after being seized by operatives at Machu Picchu, claiming that it had "seen enough". The subject died 3 weeks after initial containment.
“The man lead a military coup, became the leader of his planet, reared 4 children, cured an infectious skin-disease in his spare time, faked his death, emigrated on a whim to an underdeveloped planet he heard rumors of in a bar one day, and experienced everything your planet had to offer all within the span of a decade. We have a saying about the birds where I come from… they're insane.”

SCP-5692-A-37
A 2.4 m tall, slender humanoid entity with thin, transparent skin. The entity lacks muscle fibers and moves by controlling the movement of pressurized gas through specialized organs in its limbs. The subject was native to a low-gravity planet and came to Earth to study the relationship between trees and fungi in the forests of North America.
The subject was outfitted with a gel-based disguise and a device which could manipulate gravity in a 10 cm radius around its body. The disguise was made to resemble the North American cryptid Sasquatch. The subject was found in the Rocky Mountains of Alberta and was apprehended without incident.
“She was too tall for a human gel and she wanted to live in the woods for the rest of her life. Not bad, eh? Well, I thought it was pretty clever.”

Research into the location, nature, and capabilities of the civilizations that instances of SCP-5692-A originate from is ongoing. Interviews with SCP-5692 and instances of SCP-5692-A have thus far proven useful in obtaining information, however, more direct methods of observation are currently in development.

Show Interview Log-5692-3

Hide Interview Log-5692-3

Interview Log-5692-3
Preface: The following interview took place on November ██, 2014. In the prior two interviews SCP-5692 revealed the location and identities of 42 instances of SCP-5692-A. SCP-5692 claimed that the total number of SCP-5692-A instances on Earth was between 50 and 55 and that it had forgotten the location and identities of the remaining instances. The purpose of this interview was to obtain more information regarding the circumstances surrounding the presence of SCP-5692 on Earth.

[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Verner: Hello 5692, I have a few questions regarding your involvement in the presence of extraterrestrial organisms on Earth. Is that alright?Dr. Verner: Excellent, how did you arrive on Earth initially?Dr. Verner: Hide? Hide from what?Dr. Verner: Are you a fugitive?Dr. Verner: Earlier you referred to the extraterrestrials you assisted as customers. What sort of payment did they provide you for your services?Dr. Verner: What were some of these goods?Dr. Verner: So, once they made their deal with you, they had no way of getting off world?Dr. Verner: What were the other rules?Dr. Verner: So, why did you decide to give up information about your customers to us? They provided you things of immense value for your secrecy.Dr. Verner: A concealer world?Dr. Verner: In what ways?Dr. Verner: Any additional information you can provide about these organizations? It would be nice to know what our counterparts are up to.Dr. Verner: Well, I think that will do for today. We'll have to get you to expand on some of the points you've laid out here today at a later date.[END LOG]
Final Notes: "This is the third time SCP-5692 brought up a person named Keswick. From what I could gather, Keswick is a person that assisted SCP-5692 in smuggling aliens onto Earth. I'll see what sort of intel we can gather on our own before questioning 5692. If the two are still working together, the information provided by 5692 may be intentionally misleading."
-Dr. Verner

Show Interview Log-5692-4

Hide Interview Log-5692-4

Interview Log-5692-4
Preface: The following interview was conducted on November ██, 2014. In prior interviews, SCP-5692 had briefly alluded to the existence of an apparently non-anomalous human collaborator in his mid-late 30's known as Keswick. Subsequent interviews with instances of SCP-5692-A have shown that subjects are unaware of the specific events/entities involved in their integration and have only a vague recollection of the identity of Keswick and SCP-5692. Additional investigations were unsuccessful in uncovering additional information on Keswick. The purpose of this interview was to obtain more information on Keswick and his involvement in the presence of extraterrestrials on Earth.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Verner: Hello 5692, are you ready for another interview?Dr. Verner: Sure. May we start the interview now?Dr. Verner: Yes, I know, very charming. When did you see Rain Man?Dr. Verner: I suppose that explains how your speech is so colloquial, even “speaking” through a translator.Dr. Verner: Very nice, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you more about this Keswick individual you've mentioned in previous interviews.Dr. Verner: What, precisely, was your role when in the integration of extraterrestrials on Earth?Dr. Verner: Can you tell me more about Keswick's role?Dr. Verner: So, it's possible others were involved?Dr. Verner: Can you elaborate, please?Dr. Verner: How did you come to be associated with Keswick to begin with?Dr. Verner: So the scheme was his idea?Dr. Verner: Could you provide any information about Keswick that you learned over your time working together? Anything that would help us locate him?Dr. Verner: When was the last time you heard from Keswick prior to containment?Dr. Verner: Could you elaborate?Dr. Verner: Very interesting, thank you 5692. I think we have everything we need for today.[END LOG]
Final Notes: "Assuming all this is reliable, we're left with more questions than answers. Was anyone else involved? If so, who and for what reason? What did they need all this alien technology for? Regardless of the answers, finding this Keswick individual should be a top priority."
-Dr. Verner
Following this interview, Keswick was designated POI 17,235. Attempts to determine his whereabouts, current activities, and potential collaborators are ongoing.

Footnotes
1. When submerged in the gel, the subject's body becomes unresponsive while the gel moves in accordance with neurological signals. Sensory information is also transferred directly from the gel into the nervous system of the subject. As a result, subjects have reported that using the gel feels indistinguishable from having a biological body of the gel's shape and size.
2. The gel was capable of converting a portion of the oxygen diffusing through the gel into hydrogen sulfide, absorbing certain molecules from cat food and converting it into chemically-compatible nutrients, and altering the remaining food matter to resemble feline feces before being excreted from the gel.
3. Reports include him swimming nude in pond scum, talking to the scum when no one was around, using an excessive amount of fertilizer to accelerate the growth of the scum, fending off herbivorous animals from consuming the scum, and generally tending to the scum in a manner similar to a farmer with their crops.
4. Subsequent analysis of the anatomy of SCP-5692 has shown that the subject possesses 4 pump-like organs positioned throughout its body. These organs are analogous to a heart in function.
5. These sights include the Seven Natural Wonders, the Seven Wonders of the World, and nearly two dozen additional locations.
6. SCP-5692 later explained that a "Jerrkokan loaf" is a food item that was popular among soldiers and people on poorer worlds due to its low cost and high nutritional content.
7. Due to their secrecy, research into these organizations have yielded little regarding their goals, methods, or capabilities.
8. SCP-5692 later explained that "Sor'quk" is a derogatory term for untrustworthy individuals. The term originated as a slang term for the reproductive organs of one of the sexes in a species with 3 sexes.
9. SCP-5692 later explained that "Par'mot" is a derogatory term for someone who evolved on a planet orbiting a yellow star.

« SCP-5691 | SCP-5692 | SCP-5693 »


SCP-5693: If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people he gives it to

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F.A.Q.

{$doesthisfixthebug}

ITEM NUMBER: SCP-5693
LEVEL 3/5693

CONTAINMENT CLASS: EUCLID
CONFIDENTIAL

Footage taken from attempted invasive observation of SCP-5693.

Special Containment Procedures: Due to structural damage resulting from SCP-5693, Disposal Site-27 is to remain abandoned. As such, a second provisional site has been constructed a safe distance away to observe the colony. Research into the former purpose of Disposal Site-27 is currently considered a top priority. As to prevent unnecessary expansion of the colony, personnel assigned to SCP-5693 are to have little to no viewpoints on religion or religious matters.
Description: SCP-5693 refers to a colony of termites of indeterminate size, currently occupying the bottom level of Disposal Site-27.1 SCP-5693 matches no known species of termite, although its nest superficially resembles that of cathedral termites, with large mounds of the colony extending upwards through the ceiling tiles and ventilation shafts. These mounds superficially resemble bell towers, and are engraved with unknown symbols believed to be of theological significance. These symbols emit a blue glow whenever SCP-5693 undergo a consumption event.
During a consumption event, SCP-5693 are capable of consuming any material. SCP-5693 will target items that emit Akiva radiation, particularly those associated with religion.2 This radiation will then be channeled within enzymes produced by SCP-5693 to transmute affected objects into wood pulp. This material is mostly consumed by SCP-5693, although an estimated 15% of it is used to further expand the colony. SCP-5693 transmute an estimated 450 kg of material each day, with current predictions showing SCP-5693 will completely consume the site by 2038.
It is currently unknown how SCP-5693 achieved its current size as Disposal Site-27 was found abandoned upon discovery. However, various surviving artifacts were discovered through subsonic imaging either partially or completely untouched by SCP-5693 within the site's ruins, forming pockets of untouched earth around them. These objects include;

Hazardous waste bags (present in excess and emptied of contents).
Various scientific equipment and machinery.3
Several mason jars, filled with an unknown substance.
The Proper Disposal of Religious Artifacts by Yossi Leiner and Randall Bannock.
Chunks of concrete and plaster possessing the emblem of the Department of Tactical Theology. The Department claims to have no knowledge of the anomaly and has refused further comment.

Notably, severe chemical weathering associated with religious refuse and theological waste has been detected around the colony in SCP-5693's former containment chamber,4 although this appears to have stopped following its expansion into the rest of the facility
Further research into the significance of these objects is currently pending.

Footnotes
1. An abandoned provisional site located in a remote area of the Northern Territory of Australia. Due to a lack of documentation, the site's former purpose is currently unknown.
2. Due to the casual link most objects have to religion, this is often sufficient enough to enable its consumption.
3. A majority of which was severely damaged, although were identified as commonly used in the care of Thaumiel-class anomalies.
4. According to recovered blueprints of the facility.

« SCP-5692 | Deadly Bread | SCP-5694 »


Item #: SCP-5695
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5695 is available for use by any member of personnel upon request. Usage of SCP-5695 is to be recorded in the Experiment Log for the sake of posterity. At least one instance of SCP-5695 is to be kept in existence at all times.
Description: SCP-5695 is a figurine formed of milk chocolate, superficially resembling a common goldfish. When SCP-5695 is placed into a body of water, all aquatic organisms in that body of water will become additional instances of SCP-5695, regardless of the size of the area involved. All additional instances of SCP-5695 demonstrate the same anomalous properties.
SCP-5695 has been described as extremely pleasing to the palate, exhibiting a smooth texture that nonetheless holds a distinctive structure when pressed against the tongue. Although most chocolate is considered to be an indulgence, popular consensus is that SCP-5695 can be consumed at any time of the day with no ill effects. Analysis of SCP-5695's components has been ineffective in proving or disproving this belief.
Discovery: SCP-5695 was discovered in a cabin owned by amateur chef Arnold Grussman after passing hikers complained of a foul smell emanating from the building. Upon investigation by local authorities, the body of Mr. Grussman was discovered1 along with SCP-5695 itself.
The Foundation became involved with this case after it became apparent that, at some point prior to the body's discovery, all fish in the nearby Lake Gray had become instances of SCP-5695.
Experiment Log 5695-1:
In order to test the limits of SCP-5695's conversion properties, a series of experiments were undertaken. All tests were undertaken by placing SCP-5695 into a body of water and observing the results.

Body of Water: Small tank.
Item: One goldfish.
Result: Goldfish became an additional instance of SCP-5695.

Body of Water: Small tank.
Item: Two starfish.
Result: Starfish became additional instances of SCP-5695.

Body of Water: Large tank.
Item: Four Mallard ducks.
Result: None.

Body of Water: Large tank.
Item: Six dolphins.

Result: Dolphins became additional instances of SCP-5695.
Interesting. A dolphin is a mammal, not a fish, yet SCP-5695 converted it all the same. What kind of criteria does it use? Not that I'm complaining, with how tasty the things are! - Dr. Grade.

Body of Water: Large tank.
Item: Twelve dolphins.
Result: None.
Disappointing. - Dr. Grade.

Body of Water: Lake St. James, Massachusetts
Item: All fish present.
Result: All fish converted into instances of SCP-5695.
I would say this proves there's no distance limit on SCP-5695's conversion. Imagine the returns if we hadn't blocked off the river beforehand! - Dr. Grade.

Addendum 5695-1 (Freeze on Testing)

Last night, our security system detected Junior Researcher Darnell attempting to smuggle an SCP-5695 instance out of the Site. As if that weren't bad enough, under interrogation he kindly informed me that this is something the SCP-5695 research staff have been doing quite a bit.
I hope I don't have to say how appalled I am. All of you, expect to be summoned to a formal inquiry within the next few days. None of you are to leave Site-37 until then.
Director Fitzpatrick

On 12/06/2019, during a meeting with senior site staff regarding recent containment breaches, Director Fitzpatrick suddenly fell from his seat and began spasming wildly while gasping for breath.
Several seconds later, Director Fitzpatrick's entire body was transfigured into a statue of milk chocolate, save for his eyes, which continued to follow personnel around the room. Witnesses described said eyes as delicious.

Footnotes
1. Cause of death determined as autocannibalistic puncture of the jugular.

« SCP-5694 | SCP-5695 | SCP-5696 »


SCP-5696.

Item #: SCP-5696
Object Class: Safe Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5696 is kept in anomalous item locker #5696 at Site-19.
No further procedures are considered necessary.

+Initial Containment Procedures+

-Close Procedures-

Prior to entering SCP-5696-A, subjects are to be given a button camera fashioned to look like a pin supporting William H. Thompson for the 1931 Chicago Mayoral Election. The camera should be placed on the subject's left lapel after entering SCP-5696-A. During the displacement of SCP-5696-1 into SCP-5696-A, the SCP-5696 testing chamber is to be monitored for their return.

Description: SCP-5696 is a revolver resembling a Smith and Wesson M&P .38 in both function and design. The weapon bears two engravings: The first being a manufacturer engraving along the cylinder reading "S&W Model EO-11 C.S."1 and the second on one side of the barrel reading "Finish this job, Kill that cheating bastard."[sic]. When SCP-5696 is held in the right hand of a subject and the cylinder is opened using that hand, the subject (henceforth SCP-5696-1) will be displaced into SCP-5696-A.2

"Finish this job, Kill that cheating bastard."[sic]

SCP-5696-A refers to an alternate dimension consisting primarily of a nightclub named "The Dying Roses," a building that was once located at ███ Division St., Chicago, which closed in 1956. Displaced subjects will find themselves dressed in formal attire appropriate for the early 1930's regardless of what they were dressed in prior to displacement. This includes a striped suit and matching dress pants, a blue tie, white undershirt, and a striped fedora. All objects on their person will have demanifested until their return, where they will find themselves dressed in their original clothing with the same belongings. Alterations to the subject's physical body made while within SCP-5696-A will remain, however. Note that SCP-5696-1 will displace with $1, $5 and $10 bills in varying amounts, totaling up to $100, in their left inner coat pocket.3 No items can be brought out of or taken into SCP-5696-A with the exception of any object held in SCP-5696-1's left hand during their removal from our dimension. Displacement only occurs with subjects who meet a certain set of physical specifications (see document 5696-M5 for full list); these include particular height and BMI limitations, but do not include race or sex requirements.
When viewed upon immediate entry, the area surrounding "The Dying Roses" consists of empty space. SCP-5696-A will construct an environment dependent on the needs or requirements of SCP-5696-1. This usually begins with a cityscape of apartment buildings but has also included rival clubs, hospitals, fire stations, and police stations. SCP-5696-A also creates smaller objects as needed, including but not limited to telephone poles, call boxes, and motor vehicles.
During their shift into SCP-5696-A, the subject will experience a series of semi-predictable events. Events that occur can have varying outcomes or be prevented entirely based on the actions taken by SCP-5696-1 while in SCP-5696-A. In some cases, actions taken have led to notable and/or unusual events occurring (see Addendum 5696-2). None of the events are particularly anomalous, but rather reflect real actions that may have been taken by the involved entities and the consequences thereof.
The following details the most commonly-recorded series of events.

00:00 - 1:00: SCP-5696-1 will be ushered to a seat at the bar as they "wait for the rest of their party,"4 although subjects may do as they please. Subjects have been recorded as having ordered food and drinks5, purchasing cigars or cigarettes, interacting with waitstaff and other customers, speaking with and/or paying stage dancers, and in some cases, engaging in hand-to-hand combat.6
1:01 - 1:45: Five men (SCP-5696-2, -3, -4, -5, -6) will enter the establishment over the course of 45 minutes and mill about the area. They most commonly spend this time sitting next to each other at the bar and ordering various drinks. Each of them will eventually begin to smoke and talk among themselves.
1:46 - 1:59: SCP-5696-2 through -6 will enter a room at the far end of the establishment that is closed off by a pair of red curtains. SCP-5696-1 will be ushered into the room by a member of the waitstaff and will be introduced to the men as "Mark Kennedy of the C.P.D.7 He's here on behalf of Nitti's gang."8 They will stare at SCP-5696-1 in silence for roughly five seconds before laughing and shaking their hand. SCP-5696-5 will offer SCP-5696-1 a cigarette if they don't already have one, and the member of waitstaff will offer them a drink. SCP-5696-5 will show them to an open seat around a table covered in green felt.
2:00 - 6:00: SCP-5696-1 through -6 will begin to play Texas Hold 'em using direct monetary bets. From here, similarities become less common and the timeline of events begins to differ due to subject input. Play styles, game outcomes, conversation topics, and general actions influence what occurs.

Addendum 5696-1: Characteristics of SCP-5696-2 through -6.
Note: The following information has been gathered through a total of 129 tests and is still in development.

SCP-5696-2:
Name: Jack Walker
Age: 37-40
Relatives: Single, never married, no children
Profession: Trumpet Player, "The Jimmy Michaels Brass Band."
Play Style: Quiet, only makes safe bets.
Notes: Does not drink as he believes the hangover ruins his performing abilities. Often leaves the table for fresh air. Occasionally performs with "The Dying Roses Jazz Band" when he is having a particularly good night. Displays nervousness when involved in conversations regarding all law-related subjects. Has occasionally claimed to know SCP-5696-1 "from work."

SCP-5696-3:
Name: Casey Malkovitch
Age: 22-23 (Birthday occasionally occurs)
Relatives: Girlfriend, no children
Profession: Underground boxing champion
Play Style: Bluffs often, folds rarely.
Notes: Overdramatic personality. Has repeatedly made threats to "fight every person in this godforsaken hellhole if I lose this next hand." Attends the University of Chicago but refuses to state his major. Always has a large sum of money on his person.

SCP-5696-4:
Name: Roy Jacobsen
Age: 25-29
Relatives: Single, never married, no children
Profession: Unemployed
Play Style: Unfamiliar with the game, makes large bets apparently at random.
Notes: Claims to be the son of a millionaire Wall Street broker. Regularly offers to buy drinks for every person at the table, occasionally for the entire population of SCP-5696-A. Often becomes overly-inebriated and has been caught paying dancers and crying to them on more than 35 occasions. Dodges questions regarding personal matters of all forms.

SCP-5696-5:
Name: Jake Rose
Age: 32
Relatives: Married, one son.
Play Style: Exceptional bluffing. Rarely makes a net loss.
Notes: Served as a rifleman in the First World War. Often shares war stories, most commonly a story regarding a grenade shrapnel wound sustained in the upper right thigh. Became an expert at poker while in the trenches. Is business partners with SCP-5696-6 but claims he does not participate in illegal activity. Claims the nightclub is named after "the one time a bullet hit the very top of my helmet and nearly killed me."

SCP-5696-6:
Name: Clyde Jackson
Age: 33
Relatives: Married, one son, one daughter.
Play Style: Average, occasionally makes larger bets when on a losing streak.
Notes: Proprietor of "The Dying Roses." Is involved with the Chicago Outfit and regularly discusses the location's use as a front for cocaine production and sale, despite the Chicago Outfit's distaste for drug use. Served with SCP-5696-5 in the First World War. Usually jovial, even in dark times. Occasionally has his wife visit the establishment and spends considerable amounts of time talking about his family.

Addendum 5696-2: List of Notable Discrepancies

Test #: 03
Time: 1:20
Event: A female test subject was used. SCP-5696-1 was removed from the building for "impersonating Mr. Kennedy. She even wore his fucking clothes." SCP-5696-A was viewed forming a full cityscape. SCP-5696-1 spent the remainder of the time in the parking lot and wandering through the streets of SCP-5696-A.

Test #: 24
Time: 5:00
Event: SCP-5696-1 repeatedly bet all money on their person.9 SCP-5696-3 punched SCP-5696-1, knocking them unconscious.

Test #: 27
Time: 3:25
Event: Two thieves attempted to rob the nightclub at gunpoint. Every patron and member of the waitstaff drew a firearm on the thieves, including SCP-5696-1. They left peacefully.

Test #: 39
Time: 2:05
Event: SCP-5696-1 immediately shot SCP-5696-6 for losing a hand to him and was immediately fired upon by SCP-5696-5. SCP-5696-1's corpse was transported and dumped into the Chicago River. SCP-5696-1 returned dead with five bullet wounds in the chest and entirely soaked.

Test #: 52
Time: 4:45
Event: SCP-5696-1 requested a "taste test" from SCP-5696-6 during a conversation regarding drug sales. SCP-5696-6 obliged. During the last hour, SCP-5696-6 led SCP-5696-1 around a back room. SCP-5696-1's coat accidentally caught fire, causing him to panic. He ripped the jacket off and threw it into a puddle of spilled alcohol, setting the establishment ablaze. SCP-5696-1 returned with severe 3rd degree burns.

Test #: 66
Time: 4:30
Event: SCP-5696-1 had won each hand played that session. SCP-5696-6 bet the deed to the establishment. SCP-5696-1 played four aces.
Time: 5:00
Event: SCP-5696-1 had all patrons and all but two waitstaff members removed from the location, including SCP-5696-2 through -6. SCP-5696-1 spent the night becoming intoxicated among the female performers and engaging in sexual activity. Some patrons began to approach a police call box when they were denied re-entry and were stopped by other patrons.

Test #: 94
Time: 1:45
Event: SCP-5696-3 declared that it was his birthday. No playing occurred and SCP-5696-3 was baked and served a chocolate cake. A portion of the day was spent celebrating his birthday.

Test #: 105
Time: 3:35
Event: In an attempt to make conversation, SCP-5696-1 asked the other players what their favorite television shows were. SCP-5696-1 spent the next hour attempting to explain various products of modern technology to them before SCP-5696-3 called a hospital. SCP-5696-1 spent the remainder of the night in the back of a white Rolls-Royce bearing red crosses, where he was questioned about his sanity.

Test #: 127
Time: 5:00
Event:

+Test 127 Video Log+

-Close Log-

File Name: TEST_5696-127
Date: 1/21/2020
Print Transcription? Y
Beginning Auto-Transcription..
[[Skipping to designated event portion. A full transcription may be requested from Dr. Patra, lead researcher for SCP-5696.]]

4:59 SCP-5696-1 has been looking at SCP-5696-5 on and off over the course of the last 10 minutes.

SCP-5696-5: Okay, what's wrong, kid? Something on my face?
SCP-5696-1: No, I just can't help but notice that what you lack in beauty, you seem to be making up for in card skills. Try letting us win some hands, you might have more fun.
SCP-5696-5: Hey, I'm sorry God's been wanting me to have your money! I can't help that.
SCP-5696-1: Uh huh, yeah, I'm sure that's what's going on.

5:03 SCP-5696-1 folds his current hand, then stands.

SCP-5696-1: Gents, I'm going to take a piss.

SCP-5696-1 walks around the left side of the table, despite this being a longer route to the room's exit.

5:04 SCP-5696-1 removes the pin and sets it on the table by SCP-5696-5.

SCP-5696-1: Hold on to this for me, will ya.
SCP-5696-5: What, giving up politics, kid? Whatever. Hey while you're in there, do me a favor and go fuck yourself too.

5:04 - 5:09 SCP-5696-1 spends five minutes presumably in the bathroom. Note that SCP-5696-5 is recorded removing cards from his current hand and replacing them with cards from his coat via sleight of hand, twice.

5:10 SCP-5696-1 returns and places the pin over his left breast again. SCP-5696-1 shoots SCP-5696-5 through the sternum before turning the gun on SCP-5696-6.

SCP-5696-1: You dirty, cheating bastard! He's been swapping cards for the last ten hands. Watch this!

SCP-5696-1 kneels down over SCP-5696-5, who is alive but bleeding profusely. He removes SCP-5696-5's coat and holds it upside-down, shaking it twice. Cards flutter and fall out of the sleeves and pockets. SCP-5696-2 leaves the room unnoticed.

SCP-5696-6: Jesus Christ, Jake..

5:11 Shouting comes from outside of the room.

SCP-5696-2: THE ROSE IS DYING! THIS IS THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT, YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST!
Unknown: EAT SHIT AND LEAD, PIG!

SCP-5696-1 runs for the room's exit and steps through the curtains. Half of the patrons are running for an exit while the other half have begun flipping tables and firing handguns in the direction of the bar, including SCP-5696-2. The waitstaff have taken cover under the bar and are firing into the tables.

Note that the remaining patrons have removed their jackets, revealing CPD badges on their undershirts.

SCP-5696-1: Holy Fuck!

SCP-5696-1 dives behind a table next to another patron.

Patron: Tough crowd huh, Mr. Kennedy!
SCP-5696-1: Understatement of the century! Hey, help me get the hell out of here! I'd like to be alive when they interview me!

5:12 Two members of the waitstaff run out of the door to the back room and duck under the bar. They open fire using Remington Model-31 shotguns.

Patron: Ah, shit, yeah, okay! I'll cover you, get to the back exit!

The patron gestures behind him.

SCP-5696-1 readies himself for a moment before sprinting towards the back exit. SCP-5696-1 screams, falls and turns around. SCP-5696-6 stands at the other end of the room, aiming a handgun at SCP-5696-1. The patron aims around the table and shoots SCP-5696-6 through the left eye. A member of waitstaff blasts the patron's hand off with a shotgun round.

SCP-5696-1 turns his left leg over, revealing a gunshot wound in the upper calf. SCP-5696-1 regains his footing and limps out of the exit, throws off his coat and wraps his leg in his undershirt.

SCP-5696-1: Fuck…

5:13-5:15 SCP-5696-1 limps down the alleyway towards a police call box, attempting to put his coat back on. SCP-5696-1 opens the box and removes the telephone.

Operator: Hello, officer. Name and badge number.
SCP-5696-1: Officer Mark Kennedy, uh, fuck me..

SCP-5696 fires in SCP-5696-1's right pants pocket, presumably shooting the ground. SCP-5696-1 removes SCP-5696 and turns it over. The engraving on SCP-5696's barrel reads "1017."

SCP-5696-1: Officer Mark Kennedy, Badge Number 1017! I'm in need of immediate assistance, I've been shot in the back of the leg at The Dying Roses. We may need backup in there. Fucking hell.
Operator: Understood, putting out an urgent call to other officers in the area. Please wait there.

The operator hangs up the phone.

5:15-5:17 SCP-5696-1 sits on the ground against the phone post in silence, trying to keep his leg raised.

5:17 A white Model-B Ford arrives and two others drive past. SCP-5696-1 is loaded into the passenger seat by an unseen figure.

5:17 - 5:59 The figure is dressed in the same clothing as SCP-5696-1 and possesses a similar build. The figure smiles weakly, then begins driving. Note that the figure had a bullet wound in his upper-right chest which appeared to puncture the heart, but was not bleeding. SCP-5696-1 turns to look out the window, then removes the pin and holds it against the glass. The vehicle drives past a line of other iterations of The Dying Roses, most of which are identical in nature. The figure chuckles quietly. One of the locations appears to have been burnt down.

The figure stops in front of what appears to be the Rush University Medical Center. The figure enters the hospital and four members of the medical staff run out to the car with a stretcher five minutes later. SCP-5696-1 is carried out of the car and into the hospital. Medical staff removed the jacket and no relevant video was captured until SCP-5696-1's return into our reality.

6:00 SCP-5696-1 is returned holding the pin and possessing an improperly-cauterized wound. Marker marks made along SCP-5696-1's lower leg imply that SCP-5696-A's medical staff intended to amputate the leg. SCP-5696-1 received proper medical care and made a full recovery.

End Transcription.

Test #: 128
Time: 0:05
Event: The engraving on SCP-5696's barrel was not present. The interior of "The Dying Roses" was significantly darkened and contained only one person. A spotlight was aimed at a patron dressed in similar clothing and possessing a similar physique to SCP-5696-1, who was sitting at the bar. The figure possessed a CPD badge which he wore openly on his suit. He smiled weakly at SCP-5696-1 and offered them a shot glass filled with scotch. SCP-5696-1 noted that the area felt abnormally cold, but was warmer in the light. The subject and the figure held a toast, then sat in silence for 10-15 seconds. The figure stood, removed his badge and firearm and placed them on the counter, then turned to leave. He stopped at the door, turned to face SCP-5696-1, thanked them, then left the establishment. The subject spent the remainder of the time in the empty building.

Test #: 129
Time: 0:00
Event: SCP-5696 did not displace the subject. The engraving on the side of the barrel read "Mark Kennedy, 1901-2020."

Footnotes
1. No such model is known to have been produced.
2. This is no longer the case following Test 5696-129.
3. Note that due to inflation, this would be worth $1,550 - $1,890 in 2022.
4. This is also often recorded as "wait for Mr. Jackson and his friends," as well as "wait for your friend and the others."
5. Despite evidence suggesting that the substance has been outlawed within SCP-5696-A's simulated society, the beverages often contain alcohol.
6. This usually occurs due to subjects "catcalling" certain dancers whose husbands are in the establishment.
7. Chicago Police Department.
8. This likely refers to Frank Nitti, de facto leader of The Chicago Outfit following Al Capone's arrest in 1931.
9. This is often considered rude or unsportsmanlike.

« SCP-5695 | SCP-5696 | SCP-5697 »


by J Dune

SCP-5697 -

X

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F.A.Q.

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Item#: 5697

Level3

Containment Class:
keter

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
ekhi

Risk Class:
danger

link to memo

SCP-5697-1

Assigned Site
Site Director
Research Head
Assigned Task Force

SUBSITE-5697
L. Vargas
E. Marshall
Pi-32

SCP-5697, taken from GoI-001's case file

Special Containment Procedures: At present, SCP-5697 has precluded physical containment. Until such methods become feasible, SCP-5697's self-concealing properties are considered sufficient containment, and do not threaten normalcy in a way that would necessitate further action by the Foundation.
The closed circuit surveillance system within SCP-5697-1 has been intercepted by a Foundation stationary task force and is to be monitored between the hours of 23:00 and 5:00 by a team situated in Foundation-purchased warehouse N-131, located north of the premises. All BRANDO-Events are to be recorded and transcribed.
Description: SCP-5697 is a victual humanoid entity residing in York, Pennyslvania.
SCP-5697's body physically resembles a mass of various pastas2, which conjointly form a humanoid shape. This composition is amorphous, and can be expanded or contracted at the entity's will. The only non-noodle based element of SCP-5697's physiology, a large meatball, acts as a head, with a slit used for speaking, and a mass of bucatini positioned on its peak. SCP-5697 typically stands at 2.3 meters.
While SCP-5697's internal biology remains unseen, the entity is sapient, intelligent3, and capable of speech and audiovisual perception. SCP-5697 self-identifies as "Don Cavatelli", and claims to be a former operative of the now-defunct anomalous criminal organization the Chicago Spirit, performing as an assassin and bootlegger from 1915 to 1938.
SCP-5697-1 is Grappolo, a defunct Italian restaurant located in York, Pennyslvania. Despite local records not indicating any ownership of the property since 1983, SCP-5697-1 maintains electrical power. On the first of every month, SCP-5697-1's kitchen will generate, in large quantities, ingredients used in the preparation of foods typically cooked at similar establishments, such as tomato sauce, noodles, vegetables, dairy products, and various types of wine. The process by which these ingredients are obtained remains unknown, but testing has indicated food found within SCP-5697-1 is otherwise ordinary.
SCP-5697 has taken residence inside SCP-5697-1, in a small, lightly furnished room located above the restaurant. The entity has not been observed to leave SCP-5697-1, and its behavior outside of BRANDO-Events is largely sequestered, consisting of cooking, listening to music, and reading. Personal artifacts owned by SCP-5697 consist of dress attire, a large collection of literature4, a personal computer, and a pair of headphones. While SCP-5697's interest in theology is noted, the entity does not seem to subscribe to a particular belief system, and has not been observed carrying out religious practices. Occasionally, new items, typically literature, will manifest in SCP-5697's collection. How this process occurs is unknown.
When SCP-5697-1 is approached with the intention of apprehending, detaining, or otherwise engaging in a form of containment for SCP-5697, the restaurant will disappear. In its place will be a nondescript, brown, bricked building of the same dimensions as SCP-5697-1, but with no accessible entry points. SCP-5697-1 will revert to its typical state within an hour.
SCP-5697-1 has the capability to manifest individuals inside the building, in which a BRANDO-Event will occur. See Addenda for an overview of this phenomenon.
Addendum.5697.1: BRANDO-Events
A BRANDO-Event occurs when an individual is manifested inside SCP-5697-1. These events occur between the hours of 23:00 and 5:00, as many as three times a week. Subjects manifested inside the restaurant are always currently incarcerated in a prison located in the United States, with their criminal offenses relating to illegal drug use, gang affiliation, or gang violence. It is unknown how SCP-5697-1 discerns this information, if at all.
While subjects will reside in SCP-5697-1 for upwards of two hours, there is apparent time dilation between Grappolo and the outside world. From the perspectives of those in the prison facility they disappeared from, subjects are never perceived as being absent for more than three seconds.
Following the conclusion of a BRANDO-Event, subjects will be returned to their previous location, with no recollection of the events prior. An abridged list of BRANDO-Events follows.

Date
Subject
Description
Aftermath

1991/11/02 (BRANDO-03)
Marcus Corbett. Serving 25 years at California State Prison for possession of illegal firearms, second-degree attempted murder, second-degree burglary, and gang conspiracy.
Subject manifested inside SCP-5697-1's dining room, where the lights were dimmed. They demonstrated brief confusion as SCP-5697 emerged from kitchen and gestured to the booth. Subject sat down, relaxed. SCP-5697 returned to kitchen, and reemerged with a large plate of chicken parmesan, bread, and pasta. Entity placed food near the subject, began to pour two glasses of wine, and encouraged Corbett to eat. Corbett thanked SCP-5697, and the two shared a meal that lasted 45 minutes. SCP-5697 and subject conversed, relating experiences to each other. After finishing, subject demanifested and reappeared inside his previous location in California State Prison.
Upon corresponding with subject, it was found that Corbett had no apparent recollection of his experience inside SCP-5697-1. Subject exhibited marked contentedness in following weeks.

1999/3/17 (BRANDO-212)
Emilio Bernall. Serving 15 years at Waupun Correctional Institution, WI for fourth degree gang conspiracy, theft of a motor vehicle, and possession of illicit drugs.
Subject manifested inside SCP-5697-1. Displayed minor distress at SCP-5697's appearance, but became calm when entity offered food and drink. Subject and SCP-5697 shared a light meal. There was little communication between the two.
Similar behavior pattern to previous subjects following event. Subject described sleeping well and feeling optimistic.

2006/2/29 (BRANDO-558)
D-691, Richard Kimmz. Drafted into Foundation employment as D-Class personnel after being charged with illicit drug possession, trafficking, and manufacturing, first, second, and third-degree gang conspiracy, gang affiliation, and third-degree murder.
Subject initially rejected SCP-5697's meal, expressing discontent and distress. SCP-5697 spoke to subject and offered a cigar. Subject and SCP-5697 smoked for two hours, engaging in conversation about each others pasts. Subject expressed gratitude towards SCP-5697 before demanifesting.
Subject appeared at Foundation Facility Area-179 in their previous location. Similar behavior pattern. Subject has taken interest in hobbies not previously displayed, such as writing and reading.

Addendum.5697.2: Interview Log
The Foundation has interacted with SCP-5697 on multiple occasions. Entity is distant, and does not usually respond to queries about its past. As such, most information obtained about SCP-5697's background has come from information exchanged during BRANDO-events. A notable example of an interview with SCP-5697 has been transcribed below.

BEGIN LOG

Agent Owens approaches SCP-5697-1 with the intention of interviewing SCP-5697. The building does not protect itself, and Owens is able to access the restaurant from the front door. Upon entry, the dining room is empty. SCP-5697, dressed in its typical suited attire, makes its way to Owens.
Agent Owens: Mr. Cavatelli.Agent Owens: We just want to talk. Our last meeting got cut short.Agent Owens: My apologies, we should've respected your wishes. Uh, how about we focus on something else today? What about what you do? Your meals that you have with convicts.Agent Owens: You think the building is exhibiting autonomy?Agent Owens: You feel a connection to them.Agent Owens: Yeah, that's… that makes sense. Is there a reason why no one's ever shown up here twice? Don't you want to keep up with these people?Agent Owens: I believe—Agent Owens: (Pause) I'm not sure how to say this to you, but are you aware of the aftermath of your meals?Agent Owens: They don't remember you. Their behavior changes in little ways. Better moods, taking up new interests, forms of self-expression. You're benefiting these people, don't get me wrong, but they don't remember you. We… weren't sure if you were aware of this.
Silence.SCP-5697 gets up from the table, and mutters to itself before walking towards the kitchen. SCP-5697-1 demanifests into its concealed form, and Agent Owens stands outside.

END LOG

Footnotes
1. Now designated SUBSITE-5697
2. The most common being spaghetti, ziti, rigatoni, and penne
3. From observation, SCP-5697's intelligence is comparable to an average human
4. The majority of which is religious, and includes the Tipitaka, the Tanakh and Talmud, and the Vedas, as well as interpretive theological texts.

« SCP-5696 | SCP-5697| SCP-5698 »


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F.A.Q.

{$doesthisfixthebug}

Item#: 5699

Level2

Containment Class:
esoteric

Secondary Class:
Cernunnos

Disruption Class:
ekhi

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

An undated photograph depicting SCP-5699, likely taken during wartime.

Special Containment Procedures: As proper, complete containment of SCP-5699 requires the use of mass-incarceration of affected individuals, lockdowns of major metropolitan areas and extensive application of class-A amnestics, containment of SCP-5699 has been indefinitely suspended. As SCP-5699 typically affects individuals experiencing trauma and emotional instability, containment specialists assigned to SCP-5699 have noted that witnesses regard SCP-5699 as a hallucination, or an extended period of delirium. As such, the O5 Council have ruled that SCP-5699 does not require active containment.
Description: SCP-5699 is a white1-class spectral anomaly or group of entities resembling a hooded figure with a mirrored, reflective glass pane in the place of a head.
SCP-5699 presents itself towards individuals experiencing significant emotional turmoil, with an increased appearance rate if an individual is either considering or attempting suicide. Upon arrival to a compromised individual, SCP-5699 will silently observe a subject for approximately five minutes' time, and then vanish. After SCP-5699's disappearance, a message written in the fog of a mirror or other reflective surface within the vicinity of the subject will manifest. Messages written typically showcase affection, or a positive experience in the subject's life. A brief showing of collected messages is transcribed below.

You held my hand as I said goodbye to her, and walked me home, shielding my eyes from the new mothers. You stayed with me. You hadn't even thought of leaving me.

The little old lady in the hospital who sat at the windowsill, screaming at nothing outside was comforted by your hand. It wasn't her granddaughter's, who hadn't been there, both in hospital and in life. But you did. You stood by her, gently holding her hand.

You bought me a dress and helped me with the straps. You told me I was pretty and loved, and that the girl who had been inside of me the whole time was finally freed.

The tea was cold. Too much sugar and cream. The teabag was split in half, leaving a mug with tea leaves at the bottom. Half of it was spilt on the bed. But you brought it for me when I was sick, and shivering.

You told me that you believed me.

The haggard man who would lie by the garbage bags piled near the pub, who would rest and sleep by a brick-wall, was fed by you. Of course you didn't cook anything, but you bought the soup with your own pocket money.

You gave me your beloved dolly.

Prom was less lonely with you.

You hugged me when nobody would- You didn't know that it wasn't contagious, only through blood- And even if, you would have still shown me kindness.

The birdies in the park were well-fed, after a long winter.

You held my hand and fanned my cheek as the monitor dipped and swooned. You gripped my hand, holding onto my wedding ring as the beep grew loud, and would gently stroke my arm, as the beeps grew silent.

Addendum No. 1: The following message was discovered on Dr. Ronald Pearson2's bathroom mirror:

You let me be free from the cell,
You let me wander and love
You helped me.
You did everything that your name and place would balk
So I will be free, and help others be free, in their own way.
I won't forget you.
You are loved, by me.
Don't forget that.

Footnotes
1. Designates a spectral anomaly that possesses helpful or benevolent characteristics.
2. Research lead on the SCP-5699 project. Dr. Pearson suffers from severe bouts of depression.

« SCP-5698 | SCP-5699 | SCP-5700 »