SCP-5303

Item #: SCP-5303
Level 3/5303

Object Class: Euclid
Confidential

Discovery location of SCP-5303.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5303 is to be housed in a Standard Humanoid Containment Chamber. One D-Class personnel linked to SCP-5303's sense of sight is to remain in the chamber, allowing for SCP-5303 to see its surroundings. This D-Class is not allowed to interact with SCP-5303 further.
Description: SCP-5303 is a mute 1.6 meter tall female humanoid, the eye sockets of which are covered with skin. SCP-5303 is capable of seeing by hijacking the sense of sight from nearby individuals, allowing it to see from their perspective.
Subjects under this effect are incapable of seeing their surroundings, and will instead perceive white light. Subjects will auditorily perceive the thoughts of SCP-5303 in this state, although a majority of its thoughts are unintelligible and incohesive. Comprehensible thoughts show that SCP-5303 has prominent feelings of romantic loneliness.
Personnel around SCP-5303 often report experiencing sensations of scopaesthesia1. These claims are currently under investigation.
Addendum 5303-1 — Discovery: SCP-5303 was discovered on 2020/02/29, after a civilian hunter reported a sighting of a female without eyes or eye sockets in a Utah forest grove. Following this, Foundation agents cordoned off the area and placed an observation camera at the location to investigate the credibility of these reports.
At 20:04:30 on the same date, local college student Carl Neigiecie broke the perimeter and entered the surveillance area. The following was then recorded:

<BEGIN LOG>

(Neigiecie sits on a tree branch for two minutes, appearing to be nervous. SCP-5303 emerges from an adjacent hole between several tree-roots, along with a large quantity of smoke.)
Neigiecie: You're here!
(Neigiecie stands. SCP-5303 walks over to Neigiecie, stopping in front of him.)
Neigiecie: Finally. Now, okay, I know it's been long, I know. I've missed you. You missed me too?
(SCP-5303 remains still.)

Neigiecie: (Chuckles.) You've always not been much of a talker. (Pause.) Wait, shoot, I wrote a poem! I spent a bit on it, it's… it's not too good. But it's about you, I wrote it about you.
(Neigiecie searches through his backpack. He becomes panicked, and dumps its contents on the ground. At this point, observing Foundation agents notice this event and begin their approach to its location.)
Neigiecie: It's… it's not here! Did I— did I drop it? No, my bag was zipped, I couldn't have… I left it home maybe, I can run and get it! It's not too good but you may like it, you may, if you like bad poems, that is.
(Neigiecie chuckles, and then starts to head out of frame. He abruptly stops and turns around.)
Neigiecie: Really?
(Neigiecie stumbles back towards SCP-5303, tripping over a tree branch in the process. He regains his footing, standing in front of SCP-5303.)

Neigiecie: I may… well, I may need to see for this.
(Pause.)
Neigiecie: Well… if you insist.
(Neigiecie puckers his lips, leaning towards SCP-5303.)
(28 pairs of disembodied eyes appear in the air around Neigiecie, staring at him. The eyes occasionally make brief glances at SCP-5303. SCP-5303 smirks and moves away from Neigiecie. Neigiecie disappears, leaving only his eyes behind. His eyes quickly dart in all directions, staring at the other eyes, and at SCP-5303.)
(Agents reach the location, immediately shooting SCP-5303 with a tranquilizer gun. It collapses, and the eyes begin demanifesting one pair at time. Neigiecie's eyes stare at the agents, quivering slightly, before demanifesting.)

<END LOG>

Investigation of SCP-5303's entry point showed nothing of interest remaining. SCP-5303 was then placed into Site-24 containment, where it has passively remained since.
Neigiecie's disappearance was dismissed to the public as a ordinary missing persons case. Subsequent investigation of Neigiecie's college dormitory room found a small journal on his desk, the last page of which is believed to be directly describing SCP-5303:

Brown tree-root hair grows from sandy skin
Where your eyes are not, I see my love begin
Your smooth voice in my head, like a calming wave
When I'm you, I feel there's so much to save
With you in my sight, I don't mind
You can have my eyes, anytime

Footnotes
1. The sensation of being watched.

« SCP-5302 | SCP-5303 | SCP-5304 »


Item#: SCP-5304

Level2

Containment Class:
keter

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
ekhi

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawler SIGMA-09-XEGEL is to monitor the Google Maps database for reviews of SCP-5304. Standard information suppression measures should be enacted to remove these reviews.

Containment Update 4/8/2020: MTF Sigma-14 ("REDDIT MENACE") is to monitor and suppress online discussion of SCP-5304. Cover Story APOSTRA-φ “Collaborative Fiction” is to be disseminated to reduce public interest in SCP-5304 whenever discussion of the phenomenon occurs online.

Containment Update 23/8/2020: Two additional specialized webcrawlers (SIGMA-10-REMOVEDDIT and SIGMA-11-ERADICATEDDIT) have been deployed to monitor for the presence of SCP-5304 keywords. Any online discussion of SCP-5304 should be removed from civilian access as early as possible after discovery. Visual antimemetic agents should be deployed as deemed necessary.

Containment Update 6/9/2020: In the event that civilians attempt to travel to or approach the building designated as SCP-5304, MTF Sigma-14 agents are to deter entry by any means necessary.

Description: SCP-5304 is the persistent phenomenon of the internet location service Google Maps labeling an abandoned storage building in West Virginia as “SCP Foundation - Site 50”. No such site is, nor ever has been, owned by the Foundation.
The phenomenon is anomalously resistant to information suppression techniques; all efforts aimed at removing the designation of "SCP Foundation - Site 50" or reducing its visibility have been unsuccessful. In addition, all attempts at isolating the IP address of the person or persons maintaining this designation have been unsuccessful.
This effect is compounded by the fact that current suppression technology does not allow the instantaneous removal of sensitive information from civilian web services, including Google; at present, reviews of SCP-5304 remain accessible to civilian browsers for an average of 48 hours before removal by embedded Foundation agents. The improvement of current information suppression protocol is considered a high priority.
Investigation into the origin, nature, and purpose of SCP-5304 is ongoing.
Addendum 5304-1: Discovery
Foundation webcrawler SIGMA-09-XEGEL registered sensitive keywords in the Google Maps service on 30/7/2020. SIGMA-09-XEGEL attempted to forcibly remove the location designation; when it was unable to do so, it alerted Site-15 researchers to the anomaly. After all manual attempts at removal were unsuccessful, SCP-5304 was deemed a priority due to information security concerns, classified, and issued its current containment procedures.
Preliminary examination of the building subject to the SCP-5304 phenomenon revealed it to be a non-anomalous storage facility, showing signs of having been abandoned for upwards of twenty years.
At the time of containment, no civilian visits to the Google Maps location labeled "SCP Foundation - Site 50" had been recorded.

Addendum 5304-2
A theorized memetic effect of SCP-5304 has resulted in public interest in SCP-5304 steadily increasing, despite strict adherence to information suppression protocol. Numerous observations provide evidence for this conclusion: a marked uptick in traffic to the address of SCP-5304, an increase in reviews posted to SCP-5304, and the creation of threads discussing the phenomenon on minor forums pertaining to conspiracy theories. Creation of a dedicated Mobile Task Force is pending approval.
Analysis of these observations suggested the involvement of GoI-5869 (“Gamers Against Weed”). The following are chat logs relevant to the origin of SCP-5304.

gaycopmp4
Today at 4:28 PM

yo check this shit out
https://www.google.com/maps/place/SCP+Foundation+-+Site+50/@40.2838326,-80.600307,142m/data=!3m2!1e3!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x883433802d2fc66d:0xabc910f9ed4ce48c!8m2!3d40.2838316!4d-80.5997598

lesbian_gengar
Today at 4:28 PM

i am absolutely not clicking that

hetcopogg
Today at 4:29 PM

HA oh my god
no its fine click it

lesbian_gengar
Today at 4:29 PM

?

hetcopogg
Today at 4:29 PM

look at this shit

lesbian_gengar
Today at 4:29 PM

no one's ever going to notice this.

gaycopmp4
Today at 4:30 PM

i know but i stopped by here on my way to ██████ and had the idea and it was easier than shit
i barely even needed to tech any shit up other than the usual cloaking shit google really just lets you say whatever you want on here

hetcopogg
Today at 4:30 PM

wait wait wait guys leave a bunch of stupid reviews
@here leave a bunch of stupid reviews

lesbian_gengar
Today at 4:30 PM

hey come on

TrainerDP
Today at 4:30 PM

bro

hetcopogg
Today at 4:30 PM

sorry

gaycopmp4
Today at 4:31 PM

vore

vore-tracker
Today at 4:31 PM

@gaycopmp4 referenced the forbidden word, setting the counter back to 0. I'll wait a half hour before warning you again.
The server went 4 days, 10 hours, 15 minutes, and 23 seconds without mentioning it.

lesbian_gengar
Today at 4:31 PM

augh.

Note: "vore-tracker" is known in Foundation communications as OMEGA-355144450437021697, a dedicated GoI-5869 chat monitor and log scraper bot.

Incident 5304-1
On 22/8/2020, SIGMA-09-XEGEL alerted Site-15 to the presence of a direct link to SCP-5304 on the social network website "Reddit". Containment procedures were assessed and updated accordingly.

+ Display Archived SCP-5304 Discussion

- Access Granted

During the 62-hour period before the post was removed by embedded Foundation agents, Cover Story APOSTRA-φ “Collaborative Fiction” was deployed to mitigate the breach. Efficacy was variable.

Addendum 5304-3: Logs of notable information security breaches, compiled as evidence of a possible impending BK-Class "Broken Masquerade" scenario.

+ Display Archived SCP-5304 Discussion

- Access Granted

Addendum 5304-4: OMEGA-355144450437021697 registered further discussion of SCP-5304 in a GoI-5869-affiliated chat room. The following are chat logs of this discussion.

solidsnakeasscheekannihilator
Today at 3:24 AM

mgs2 gackt baby

lesbian_gengar
Today at 3:28 AM

hey @gaycopmp4 the janitors are freaking out over your last thing

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:29 AM

what
huh
which one

lesbian_gengar
Today at 3:29 AM

yeah i was surprised too

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:29 AM

no serioulsy i dont remember
do you mean the site 50 thing????

lesbian_gengar
Today at 3:29 AM

the google maps—yeah

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:30 AM

ha ha oh my fucking god
are yuo serious
i completely forgot i did that

lesbian_gengar
Today at 3:30 AM

they're really losing their marbles over it though.

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:31 AM

on god???

lesbian_gengar
Today at 3:31 AM

on g-d.
ik you've been busy lately but they're just whackamoleing everyone that breathes funny
but they can't do it fast enough
so it's like bam bam bam deleted bam bam bam bam deleted

hetcopogg
Today at 3:32 AM

PFFFTTTTTT
HAAAAA
fuckin trolled i guess

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:33 AM

this is sincerely fucking killing meeeeeee

"hello yes i am a normal internet user definitely not a fed"

hetcopogg
Today at 3:33 AM

"please disregard hte obvious government secrets. just one Redditor to another guys"
"you can trust me guys my account was made two minutes ago and it's a bunch of random numbers"

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:33 AM

i put like 2 minutes of effort into this and the janitors r out here clowning on themselves this is fantastic actually

solidsnakeasscheekannihilator
Today at 3:33 AM

poggers

gaycopmp4
Today at 3:34 AM

poggers

hetcopogg
Today at 3:34 AM

poggers

Incident 5304-2
On 6/9/2020, the popular channel "N████" on the video sharing site “YouTube” uploaded a video discussing the SCP-5304 phenomenon.
The video received 276,351 views and 2,976 comments before embedded Foundation agents were able to remove the video from public access; plans to remove the "N████" channel from public access via continuous false DMCA strikes are underway.

+ Display Archived SCP-5304 Discussion

- Access Granted

Armed MTF Sigma-14 agents have been preemptively dispatched to the building at SCP-5304's coordinates.

Addendum 5304-3: OMEGA-355144450437021697 logged the following discussion of SCP-5304 in a GoI-5869-affiliated chat room prior to becoming compromised.

lesbian_gengar
Today at 12:14 PM

so
guess the fuck what guys.

solidsnakeasscheekannihilator
Today at 12:16 PM

huh

hetcopogg
Today at 12:16 PM

whassup

lesbian_gengar
Today at 12:17 PM

i found our mole of the week.
it's fucking vorebot.

vore-tracker
Today at 12:17 PM

@lesbian_gengar referenced the forbidden word, setting the counter back to 0. I'll wait a half hour before warning you again.
The server went 8 days, 3 hours, 52 minutes, and 4 seconds without mentioning it.

lesbian_gengar
Today at 12:17 PM

oh shut the fuck up you rat bastard piece of shit

hetcopogg
Today at 12:18 PM

how do we know thats true and not just you wanting an excuse to ban it 😳

gaycopmp4
Today at 12:19 PM

no its true i ran a lookup 😔

hetcopogg
Today at 12:19 PM

aw shit.
farewell to vorebot

vore-tracker
Today at 12:19 PM

@hetcopogg referenced the forbidden word, setting the counter back to 0. I'll wait a half hour before warning you again.
The server went 0 days, 0 hours, 2 minutes, and 56 seconds without mentioning it.

solidsnakeasscheekannihilator
Today at 12:19 PM

o7
lol

gaycopmp4
Today at 12:20 PM

o7

lesbian_gengar
Today at 12:20 PM

good riddance.

gaycopmp4
Today at 12:21 PM

any last words to the janitors before i do the bot thing

hetcopogg
Today at 12:21 PM

yall just gotta ruin everything thats fun huh.

solidsnakeasscheekannihilator
Today at 12:21 PM

we had a good run but snitches get stitches

lesbian_gengar
Today at 12:23 PM

oh, and one more thing:
google the streisand effect you bunch a dipshits.

gaycopmp4
Today at 12:25 PM

B0TK1LLERFORCEOPEN_WORKING_WORKING4REAL_FINAL.bat
2.71 MB

At this point, OMEGA-355144450437021697 was forcefully ejected from the chatroom. Examination after this event revealed that its source code had been replaced with 600 identical lines of plaintext, all of which read the following:

Stop Cbeing Pweird

« SCP-5303 | SCP-5304 | SCP-5305 »


Item #: SCP-5305
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5305 is to be housed in a standard humanoid containment cell within Site-17. Cranial MRI scans are to be performed weekly to observe any changes in SCP-5305-2.
The genetic offspring of SCP-5305-1 are to receive cranial monitoring as part of their regular medical check-ups.
Description: SCP-5305-1 is the individual formerly known as Mark Budd: a 42-year-old male from Lincoln, United Kingdom. In place of a large section of the anterior cingulate cortex, SCP-5305-1's brain contains a cartilaginous cage-like structure.1 The brain structure of SCP-5305-1 is otherwise non-anomalous and functions within acceptable parameters.
SCP-5305-2 is the designation given to a humanoid entity residing within this cage structure. MRI scans indicate that SCP-5305-2 is roughly 20mm tall and is organic in nature. While evidence suggests that SCP-5305-2 can see and hear via SCP-5305-1, all attempts at direct communication have been unsuccessful.
SCP-5305 was discovered at Lincoln County Hospital when SCP-5305-1 was admitted with a suspected brain hemorrhage. MRI scanning revealed the presence of SCP-5305-2, and SCP-5305 was taken into Foundation custody.
Interview #1: SCP-5305-1

Interviewed: SCP-5305-1
Interviewer: Dr. Marcella Bell
<Begin Log>
Dr. Bell: SCP-5305-1, can you tell me when you first became aware of your condition?
SCP-5305-1: I guess it all started when I was fifteen; maybe sixteen. It was different back then. Like… my head was too heavy somewhere here.

[ SCP-5305-1 presses an area of its forehead approximately 5cm above the bridge of its nose ]
SCP-5305-1: The doctors said it was stress headaches. They gave me some pills but they never did anything.
It went away for a while. Or… I don't know, maybe I got used to it. But then, when it came back… so much worse. Like you wouldn't believe. I thought something was hammering away at my brain. Like it was ripping my head apart from the inside. I gave up rugby; I couldn't watch my favourite shows. I stopped going out to see my friends. I just… lay in bed all day staring at the walls.
But then, sometimes it would all just stop.
[ SCP-5305-1 shifts in its chair and smiles momentarily. ]
SCP-5305-1: The first time I can remember… I'd gone downstairs to fetch a glass of water, I think. Mum had left some music playing, some shitty classic rock. It was echoing round my skull until suddenly it… stopped. So weird. I stood there, swaying to the music. Not enjoying it, like, but the silence inside my head was beautiful. I stood there for one song, then another. A whole album of it probably. Just there in the silence.
There were other times after that. A news report would come on, or I'd catch a look of a painting or some bit of pretentious prose and it'd all… stop. You know? I started walking around art galleries; the cathedral; staring at old junk for hours. I didn't get it – the paintings or how it worked. I didn't care. As long as it kept on working, right? I took on a job as a museum guide and spent my lunch hour there staring at the exhibitions. My boss thought I was a nutter.
It didn't last. After a while, the same old paintings didn't cut it. It built back up – an ache here and a throb there. Honestly, it scared me shitless. I couldn't go back to how it was. That wasn't living. So I went to libraries. I found new books to sit and stare at just to get a minute's break. I'd just sit and turn the pages when it started hurting - didn't matter if I read the words or not, just as long as I was staring.
It was different when I was with her. That first time I saw her face, I was sitting with a book of poems. The pain stopped when she touched my shoulder – and when she spoke…
She said it was her favourite. I think. I barely heard her over the rush. Like my brain was singing on the inside. You can't understand unless you've felt it. Afterwards, I ached to be around her. Or… something did. The books, the art, the music - for weeks, none of it made a bit of difference. I didn't go to work. I couldn't sleep or eat. The ache bit into my brain and nothing that I did even touched it.
I had to find her! Do you understand? I didn't love her but couldn't live without her. I needed -
[ SCP-5305-1 pauses for a moment. It wipes its nose and lips with its sleeve before continuing. ]
Dr. Bell: Please continue, SCP-5305-1.
SCP-5305-1: It was two more weeks before I found her. Just seeing her face made the hammering stop. Seeing her was the best thing I'd ever felt.
We dated for a while before we got married. I don't think I loved her – barely even liked her – back then. I loved the way she took the pain away, though. And… and when we touched or kissed! At the time, I told myself that's how love feels. Like the bit in films where they see each other, yeah? When the camera goes all fuzzy.
It was best when she was happy, so I did everything to keep her that way. She loved theatre shows – the acting sort – and posh dinners. Poems; musty art; houseplants that you buy from hipsters. We had a kid. And then another one. Built up some kind of life together. When we had fights, the pain came back. Wouldn't go away til I bought her fancy flowers. When I made her laugh, though - just bliss for hours and hours.
Did she love me? What I did, maybe. But not who I was. Not like she loved him.
She said it started with a chat. Then a dinner. From there… She said I looked at art but William really saw it. Really heard the music with her. William was in the moment with her and I never was.
She took the kids with her when she left. I wasn't angry, but when she closed the door that last time, something in my brain started raging and raging… I remember there was a scream but I don't know if I screamed it or just felt it happen. I remember the pain of it, and… God, it feels so hollow in here without her. It feels -
<End Log>
Note: SCP-5305-1 sat without speaking for several minutes before it was returned to its containment cell.

Since arriving at Site-17, SCP-5305-1 has shown symptoms consistent with dopamine withdrawal.2 SCP-5305-2 has remained wholly inactive.
To date, attempts to rouse SCP-5305-2 by applying stimuli to SCP-5305-1 have been unsuccessful. The feasibility of applying stimuli directly to SCP-5305-2 is under discussion, pending authorisation by the Ethics Committee. Until a decision is received, SCP-5305 is to be provided with materials similar to those which elicited a reaction from SCP-5305-2 prior to containment.

Addendum 1: SCP-5305

- Hide Addendum

Although MRI scans are yet to show SCP-5305-2 engaging in any activity, SCP-5305-1 claims to have experienced some slight change in sensation whilst listening to certain audiobooks.3
In an attempt to elicit further responses, arrangements have been made for Ms. Price (formerly Mrs. Amelia Budd) to visit Site-17.

Addendum 2: SCP-5305

- Hide Addendum

Interview #12: SCP-5305-1

Interviewed: SCP-5305-1
Interviewer: Dr. Marcella Bell
<Begin Log>
Dr. Bell: SCP-5305-1, I'd like you to tell me about what happened three days ago.
SCP-5305-1: I thought you might. Okay, well I guess I should have said something that morning, really. There was pain one second, nothing the next. I thought maybe he was confused. Or nervous. I thought if he could see her… I just wanted to feel it again so bad. I convinced myself it would just be how it used to be. I needed to believe it would be. I - ugh…
[ SCP-5305-1 leans its right temple against its hand and places its elbow on the table. ]
SCP-5305-1: I thought maybe if he just saw her again, that would be enough. And then they brought her in. And fuck it hurt! The second that her hand came round the door. It - God, I can't explain it. Her ring wasn't on her finger and…
[ SCP-5305-1 groans and slumps forwards. It presses both hands over its eyes and inhales slowly. ]
SCP-5305-1: I don't think I can talk about this. I just - I wish…
[ SCP-5305-1's hands slide down its face, coming to rest against its lower lip. Its cheeks are discernibly moist and its eyes are closed. ]
Dr. Bell: Let's stop there for today, SCP-5305-1. Thank you.
<End Log>

Since the events detailed in Interview #12, SCP-5305-1 has repeatedly requested further meetings with Ms. Price, expressing hopes that the outcome might be different. Given the slight cerebral damage visible in MRI scans immediately after the incident, these requests are to be denied until further notice.

Footnotes
1. Images of the cage show it to be a cuboid with sides approximately 35mm in length.
2. Current symptoms include irritability, anxiety, depression, insomnia, and orthostatic hypertension.
3. In particular, SCP-5305 has now listened to Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea 5 times, and Albert Camus' Exile and the Kingdom: Stories 4 times.

« SCP-5304 | SCP-5305 | SCP-5306 »


Item#: 5306

Level2

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
vlam

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5306 is contained in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-63.
SCP-5306-A is kept in Warehouse B of Site-63. Access for testing purposes is currently unrestricted.
SCP-5306-B is to be kept in storage locker 7-D in Site-63. Currently, SCP-5306 is not permitted access to SCP-5306-B.
Description: SCP-5306 is an animate, sapient human skeleton dressed in a tattered coat, leather boots, and three empty holsters on its belt for various weapons, all of which show signs of severe water damage. The entity wears an eye patch over its left socket, despite lacking eyes in both. When SCP-5306 is damaged, it will regenerate within an hour; this regeneration appears to function similarly to a reptile regenerating lost limbs, although there does not seem to be any limit on which body parts can be reformed. The regeneration has interfered with carbon dating attempts to determine SCP-5306's exact age, although it claims to be over three hundred years old. The anomaly does not require sustenance to survive, but does seem to enjoy the action of pouring sea water into its mouth. SCP-5306 refers to itself as "Captain Frederick."
SCP-5306-A is a brigantine ship with several holes and other signs of damage along the hull. Despite the damage, it remains functional and is capable of diving and resurfacing. SCP-5306-A is capable of regenerating in a similar manner to SCP-5306, although it always retains a small amount of damage. SCP-5306 can operate SCP-5306-A on its own, even though ships of its model typically require multiple crew members to operate.
SCP-5306-A was found at the bottom of the ocean slightly off the coast of Florida in 2012, but it was not connected to SCP-5306 until 2021.
The following timeline has been constructed from oral histories and legends describing events involving SCP-5306-A.

1738: SCP-5306-A is first seen attacking a fleet of trade ships in the Atlantic ocean.
1742: SCP-5306-A is sunk in battle for the first time. An hour later, it rises out of the sea and successfully destroys the ship that was responsible for the damage.
1768: A cache of gold coins is found buried near a small fishing village near the site of a previous SCP-5306-A attack. The following day, the village is burned to the ground and the gold is lost. Locals claim SCP-5306 was responsible.
1805: SCP-5306 is captured while looting a damaged ship. It escapes by injuring itself to the point that it can fit through a small hole in the ship's hull.
1822: SCP-5306-A is sunk in battle with multiple trade ships. SCP-5306-A resurfaces and continues the fight but is sunk again. SCP-5306-A is sunk an additional three times before it destroys the entire fleet.
1873: A cache of gold coins is found buried near a large trade port close to the location of a previous SCP-5306-A attack. A ship resembling SCP-5306-A is seen approaching the town through the fog, but it does not engage.
1889: SCP-5306-A attacks a fleet of trade ships, and is sunk in battle. SCP-5306-A resurfaces an hour later but does not re-engage.
1917: SCP-5306-A is sunk in battle and does not resurface.
2021: SCP-5306 is taken into Foundation custody after it is seen in a computer supply store in San Jose, California.

After SCP-5306 was apprehended, a raid was conducted on its place of residence, a houseboat that was docked near the location of the entity's capture. Locals reported never having seen the boat before it arrived earlier that morning. The following items of note were found within the boat:

One sketch of a ship matching SCP-5306-A.
One half-complete model of an 18th century brigantine.
Four pirate-themed novels, each somewhat water damaged.
One set of golf clubs that had accumulated a significant amount of dust.
One wastebasket containing various bills dating between 1963 and 2016 and a copy of How To Break an Ancient Curse by Itztlacoliuhqui-Ixquimilli.

The return of the items to SCP-5306 is pending.
The following interview was conducted shortly after initial containment.

Interviewer: Doctor Randal
Interviewee: SCP-5306

[BEGIN LOG]
Randal: To begin this interview, we'd like to know what you were doing in that computer store.Randal: And you didn't think they would be scared of you?Randal: So you're a real pirate, not just in costume?Randal: So you are aware that you're a skeleton.Randal: Right then. Can you please tell us how you came to be that way?Randal: Okay… do you know what happened to this gold?Randal: Three hundred years? What have you been doing all this time?Randal: So you retired?Randal: Really? Can you elaborate on this?Randal: Uhh… Never heard of it.Randal: This might be a problem.
[END LOG]

Following this interview, Foundation staff returned to SCP-5306's place of residence and found an anomalous laptop hidden under the bed. The laptop, hereafter designated SCP-5306-B, had been decorated with multiple pirate-themed stickers and had the name █S█S Flying Anne's Pearl1 engraved on the back. SCP-5306-B is anomalously buoyant and is immune to any damage that could be caused by water. When damaged by other sources, SCP-5306-B regenerates in a similar manner to SCP-5306. It is also capable of functioning with no power supply and is able to receive a stable internet connection even while isolated inside a Faraday cage.
SCP-5306 told Foundation staff that it had been using its website, FemurIsland.com, to illegally distribute copied digital products for three years before it was apprehended by the Foundation.
SCP-5306 also told staff that FemurIsland.com had generated over a million dollars since its inception. Foundation use of this website to cover containment costs is currently under Ethics Committee review.

Footnotes
1. The A and U in the ASUS logo had been scratched out.

« SCP-5305 | SCP-5306 | SCP-5307 »


Item #: SCP-5308
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Site-187 will be equipped with an additional cold storage unit. SCP-5308-2 through 6 are to be stored together in a standard anomalous item locker adjacent to this unit. At least one member of the Foundation's Antimemetic Department is to remain on the containment team for SCP-5308.
Certain information necessary for the full containment of SCP-5308 cannot be stated directly. The assigned Antimemetic Division personnel member is to infer the missing information through context from the rest of this document.
Description: SCP-5308-1 through SCP-5308-6 refer to a series of anomalous items recovered from a house formerly owned by Benjamin Bledsoe, a resident of Rapid City, South Dakota.

SCP-5308-2
Item: An empty pill bottle
Anomaly: When an individual touches SCP-5308-2, they will perceive that they opened it, took a pill from inside and consumed it. This effect occurs even if an individual is aware that SCP-5308-2 is empty before coming into contact with it.

SCP-5308-3
Item: A dull kitchen knife
Anomaly: SCP-5308-3 is capable of easily cutting human flesh despite being too blunt to cut most other materials. Wounds from SCP-5308-3 heal more efficiently than regular wounds, and are not described as being painful. These wounds cannot be acknowledged or recognized by other people, though the secondary effects (such as blood stains) can be.

SCP-5308-4
Item: A partially empty bottle of ██████ brand bleach
Anomaly: It is impossible to clean any stains or bleach anything using the liquid inside SCP-5308-4. Despite this, the liquid inside is chemically identical to, and as toxic, as bleach.

SCP-5308-5
Item: A white bed sheet that was found knotted at several points forming it into a make-shift rope
Anomaly: Any individual touching SCP-5308-5 will become incapable of respiration. This effect will end as soon as contact is broken with SCP-5308-5. Additionally, the knots in SCP-5308-5 cannot be removed by any known means. If an individual attempts to untie them, they will remember having done so but will in fact be incapable of performing any actions to remove the knots.

SCP-5308-6
Item: An empty shell casing from a 9mm bullet.
Anomaly: When SCP-5308-6 is touched, the individual touching it will perceive the sound of a female voice crying or screaming. SCP-5308-6 is hot to the touch and does not appear to have lost any temperature since it was (presumably) fired. Despite this, the surroundings were not burned or scorched where SCP-5308-6 was found.

Discovery: SCP-5308-2 through 6 were discovered shortly after Bledsoe returned to his residence after a brief, voluntary stay at a mental institution. Upon arriving home, Bledsoe called the police to report a strong smell from inside his home. The police investigated but were unable to find the source of any odor. However, while searching the house the police discovered the anomalies. The Foundation was notified by implanted agents in the Rapid City Police Department and took over the investigation. The anomalies were removed with the assistance of the Antimemetic Department and the police officers were administered amnestics.
Because of his connection to the anomalies, Bledsoe was briefly taken into Foundation custody. However, after it was determined that he possessed no anomalous properties, he was amnestized and released. Bledsoe was found deceased in his home two months later. The cause of death was determined to be suicide by gunshot.

« SCP-5307 | SCP-5308 | SCP-5309 »


close

Info

X

SCP-5309 is not to exist.
Thanks for reading. Bonus points for listening to Sisyphus.

For more by me, check out the Greyve Page!

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NOTICE FROM THE PATAPHYSICS DEPARTMENT
The following file constitutes a narrativohazard1 affecting indefinite subrealities. Personnel are prohibited from accessing this document without direct narrative instruction under penalty of narrative discardure.

ACCESS RESTRICTED TO LEVEL 0/5309 HYPERREAL TRANSPOSITION HOSTS

Proceed

Hello, reader. I am Sisyphus.sic, a synthetic intelligence construct employed by the Department of Pataphysics. I've been assigned to assist you in ignoring the following file.

I suppose you're going to keep reading. That's alright, then; my secondary objective is to assist you in interpreting the following file in order to permit existence.

Item#: 5309

Level0

Containment Class:
neutralized

Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}

Disruption Class:
{$disruption-class}

Risk Class:
{$risk-class}

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5309 is not to exist.

Hardly a conventional containment procedure. What this actually means is that any and all efforts to prevent SCP-5309 from existing are to be executed immediately and have been preemptively approved.

Description: SCP-5309 designates narrative disregard and subsequent nonexistence due to insufficient exposure or noospheric rejection.

In the highly likely event that you don't understand what that means, I am to request that you continue reading sequentially. I'm here to assist you in interpreting the entire file, after all.

Addendum 5309-1: Operation WALLBREAK2 Records

_

▼ Operation WALLBREAK Log▲ Close

Operation WALLBREAK Log

Date: ██/██/████
Assigned Personnel:

Dr. Scarlett Berkeley (Subject)
Researcher Adamo Smalls (Operator)
Dr. Johnathan Thomson West

[BEGIN LOG]
Berkeley: Are we set, Smalls?
Smalls: Affirmative.
(West rapidly enters the testing chamber.)
West: Scarlett?
Berkeley: Tommy?
West: Scarlett, what the hell are you doing?
Berkeley: I'm getting ready for the jump.
(Berkeley lays down in position and prepares for launch.)
West: (To Smalls) Get her out of there!
Berkeley: He can't hear you with his headset —
West: Scarlett, listen to me. All of the others died!
Berkeley: I know, Tommy. I was there.
West: Damn it, Scarlett!
Command: Thirty seconds.
West: (To Smalls, shouting) I said call it off!
Berkeley: I'm already looped in, West. You know what happens if you shut down during the jump sequence.
(West sighs.)
West: I never understood why you did — well, any of this, to be honest.
Berkeley: I'll explain why when I get back.
West: If you —
Berkeley: When I get back.
Smalls: Ten seconds.
Berkeley: See you soon, Tommy.
(West smiles.)
West: See you on the other side, sunshine.
Command: Five.
Command: Four.
Command: Three.
Command: Two.
Command: One. Jumping.
(Silence.)
Smalls: (Through memetic channel to collective headspace) Berkeley?
(Silence.)
Smalls: Berkeley, do you copy?
(Silence.)
Smalls: Berkeley, can you hear me?
(The second verse of "Space Oddity" by David Bowie is audible within the collective headspace.)
(Smalls clenches his fists and and exhales deeply.)
Smalls: Ground control to Major Tom?
(Berkeley smiles.)
Smalls: Can you — alright. Give me a moment. What do you see?
Berkeley: Well, I don't — I wouldn't call it seeing, per se. More like thinking, actually, like it's an idea inside my head.
Smalls: Copy that. What do you percieve, then?
(Static.)
Berkeley: — it's hard to make it out, I —
Smalls: Berkeley, do you copy?
Berkeley: — he's there, Smalls, I can see him —
Smalls: See who, Berkeley? Who do you see?
Command: Warning. Neural synapses are unstable.
Berkeley: — he's writing my story —
Command: Warning. Brain death imminent.
Smalls: Berkeley?
(Silence.)
Smalls: Berkeley, can you hear me?
(Silence.)
Smalls: Berkeley, I'm pulling you out. Do you copy?
(Silence.)
Command: Reentering reality. Vital signs negative.
(Smalls removes his headset and runs over to Berkeley's body. West follows.)
West: What happened?
Smalls: I don't know — she got through, then she —
(Smalls begins shaking Berkeley's body.)
West: (Shouting) Stop it!
(West checks Berkeley pulse.)
West: Oh — oh god, no —
(West collapses over Berkeley's motionless body.)
Command: Vital signs returning.
(Berkeley sits upright, shocking Smalls and West.)
West: Scarlett?
Smalls: Dr. Berkeley?
(Berkeley clutches her temples.)
West: Scarlett, what happened?
(Berkeley turns to face West.)
Berkeley: I died, Tommy. And he brought me back — for the story, I think — and…
(West offers his hand to Berkeley.)
West: And what, Scarlett?
(Berkeley looks up.)
Berkeley: I could see like they can, Tommy. I could read the story. It doesn't — it doesn't end well — everything goes dark, and —
(West wraps an arm over Berkeley's shoulder.)
West: If you can see it, maybe we can change it. We'll work through it together, sunshine. I'm always here for you.
[END LOG]

_

▼ Post-Operation Debrief Log▲ Close

Due to the nature of her assignment, it was deemed unsafe to interview her directly, and as such, Berkeley was interviewed by the Pataphysics Department artificial intelligence construct Enkidu.aic.

Post-Operation Debrief Log

Date: ██/██/████
In Attendance:

Dr. Scarlett Berkeley
Enkidu.aic

[BEGIN LOG]
Enkidu.aic: Hello, Dr. Berkeley.
(Berkeley stares blankly at the wall.)
Enkidu.aic: Dr. Berkeley?
Berkeley: That wall wasn't there a moment ago, you know.
Enkidu.aic: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Berkeley: Before I looked at it, that wall wasn't there.
(Berkeley furrows her eyebrows.)
Berkeley: Maybe…to you, maybe. To —
(Berkeley looks upward.)
Berkeley: — to them, it didn't. Before, I mean.
Enkidu.aic: Who are "they"?
Berkeley: The readers.
Enkidu.aic: Dr. Berkeley, I'd like to remind you that you were extracted from hyperreality about an hour ago. If you could please redirect your attention to within our reality —
(Berkeley nervously nods while exhaling.)
(Silence.)
Enkidu.aic: Dr. Berkeley?
Berkeley: Sorry. I was just — thinking?
Enkidu.aic: Apologies for disturbing your thinking.
Berkeley: No — it wasn't really thinking. More like feeling — no, scratch that. Sensing. I'm making sure it's real.
(Silence.)
Enkidu.aic: Dr. Berkeley, once more, I'd like to remind you that our reality is real reality. It is your reality, and it is real.
(Berkeley sighs.)
Berkeley: I already know that. It's just — after looking at the book from the outside, I can still see the blanks. The…
(Berkeley runs a hand through her hair and pauses.)
Berkeley: What color is my hair, Enkidu?
Enkidu.aic: I'm sorry, Dr. Berkeley, but that isn't in my database. At any rate, I don't see the relevance.
Berkeley: My hair doesn't have a color. It's like —
(Berkeley closes her eyes tightly, deep in thought.)
Berkeley: Okay. Let's try — yeah. Enkidu, define "forest".
Enkidu.aic: According to Oxford Languages, a forest is "a large area largely covered by trees and undergrowth." Does that satisfy your inquiry?
(Berkeley smiles slightly.)
Berkeley: What about the leaves?
Enkidu.aic: Trees consist of several organic components, including leaves, during —
Berkeley: — hold on. For a moment, it didn't exist, did it? The details didn't exist yet.
Enkidu.aic: I'm not sure I understand, Dr. Berkeley.
(Berkeley breathes deeply.)
Berkeley: "I can't see the forest for the trees."
(Berkeley pauses.)
Berkeley: I don't say anything about leaves, right?
Enkidu.aic: The leaves are irrelevant in that metaphor.
(Berkeley stands up and gestures erratically.)
Berkeley: Exactly. The leaves don't matter. The color of my hair doesn't matter. The chair I was supposed to be sitting on, or the walls of the room we're supposed to be in doesn't matter. We only have to see the forest, not the trees. So the trees in the pataphor just don't exist.
(Silence.)
Enkidu.aic: Dr. Berkeley, it will take me several days to process the information from your jump to confirm whether or not your conclusion requires abstraction —
Berkeley: What? It's a simple idea, really.
Enkidu.aic: I need to confirm that your conclusion is not a narrativohazard. Until then, you will participate in the mandatory PORT sessions and remain within the isolation unit to prevent further —
Berkeley: Isolation?
Enkidu.aic: That is correct. Now, unless you have other concerns, that will be all.
(Berkeley looks down and slowly shakes her head.)
[END LOG]

_

▼ PORT Log 1▲ Close

PORT3 Group Session Log

Date: ██/██/████
In Attendance:

Enkidu.aic
Dr. Scarlett Berkeley
Researcher Adamo Smalls

[BEGIN LOG]
Enkidu.aic: It seems as though everyone is here. We can begin now.
Smalls: It's just the two of us?
Enkidu.aic: That's correct.
Smalls: What about the operators for session two and five? Didn't they survive?
Enkidu.aic: Your other surviving colleagues are currently in intensive rehabilitation. I am not permitted to disclose any other information.
Smalls: That's very nice of you.
Enkidu.aic: Please refrain from utilizing excessive sarcasm, Researcher Smalls.
Smalls: What, you don't understand sarcasm?
Enkidu.aic: Of course not.
(Silence.)
Enkidu.aic: At any rate, we need to proceed with our session. As you two are already acquainted, we will begin by discussing your personal traumas regarding Operation WALLBREAK. Dr. Berkeley?
(Berkeley sighs.)
Berkeley: I don't even know where to begin. I guess the worst part is that — seeing how empty everything is, it makes me feel empty, too.
(Smalls nods in understanding.)
Berkeley: I think the worst part of all of this is that, not only am I an empty creature in an empty story, but…
(Silence.)
Enkidu.aic: Dr. Berkeley?
(Berkeley shakes her head.)
Berkeley: It's just how lonely we all are. I know that — well, this is it. I don't think I'll see Tommy — Dr. West — ever again. I don't think I'll see anyone ever again. I mean, our entire existence is practically empty now — all the other people, the "side characters", I suppose — they just vanish.
(Berkeley sighs.)
Smalls: You saw all of this on the other side?
Berkeley: Most of that was from thinking about it, on this side. Like — the readers, why would they care about the "details"? And if they don't care —
Smalls: — it doesn't need to be in their heads. Meaning it doesn't need to exist.
(Berkeley nods somberly.)
[END LOG]

_

▼ PORT Log 2▲ Close

PORT One-on-One Session Log

Date: ██/██/████
Therapist:
Dr. Rachel Zhang
Patient:
Dr. Scarlett Berkeley

[BEGIN LOG]
Zhang: Morning!
(Zhang gestures to a seat for Berkeley.)
Zhang: Dr. Scarlett Berkeley, right?
Berkeley: That's right.
(Zhang nods.)
Zhang: Before we begin, I have to tell you that our entire conversation is being recorded. If you would like a private session, it will be necessary to contact your division's psychiatric ward. Also, please refrain from mentioning any hazards, of any kind. I'm sure you know what I mean. Does all of that make sense?
(Berkeley nods.)
Zhang: Alright then. Let's get started.
(Zhang rubs her hands together.)
Zhang: Do you know why you're here?
(Berkeley shrugs.)
Berkeley: Enkidu forwarded the suggestion to command, so here I am.
(Zhang raises an eyebrow.)
Zhang: But why did the artificial intelligence, of all things, suggest you get therapy?
Berkeley: Well, I suppose it has to do with my perspective. It's — I can't talk about that. But I just have to get it out, you know? And I'm trying, I really am, but it's now how I perceive reality.
(Zhang leans back in her chair.)
Zhang: I see. May I ask you a question?
Berkeley: Of course.
Zhang: What does reality mean to you?
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Dr. Zhang—
Zhang: Rachel, dear.
Berkeley: Rachel. I've spent the past week trying to not think about that.
(Zhang nods understandingly.)
Zhang: In this line of work, I've seen far too many brilliant young men and women such as yourself get caught up in their own minds. You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I need you to promise that you can get these ideas out of your head.
Berkeley: How am I supposed to do that?
(Zhang chuckles.)
Zhang: That would be up to you to decide. Meditation, maybe…I've also heard journaling works fairly well. The point is that you can get your awful thoughts out of your head. Does that make sense?
(Berkeley nods.)
Zhang: Wonderful! Now, is there anything else?
(Berkeley pauses.)
Berkeley: Loneliness. There's a potential hazard, so they're keeping me in isolation, and — well, it's hard. I miss Tommy — my boyfriend.
(Zhang frowns.)
Zhang: You can't talk to anyone at all?
(Berkeley shakes her head.)
Zhang: That sounds quite awful, dear. What someone like you needs most is people.
Berkeley: It's not just him, too. All the people — everyone…
Zhang: Everyone what, dear?
Berkeley: Can't say it. Potential hazard.
(Zhang smiles sadly.)
Zhang: A lot of lonely people have nobody else, and they end up speaking to themselves.
Berkeley: Speaking to themselves?
Zhang: Well, writing, maybe. When you're all alone, your best friend is going to be Dr. Scarlett Berkeley. Why don't you try talking to her?
(Berkeley nods.)
(Zhang smiles.)
Zhang: I'm glad you understand, dear. Now, is there anything else at all?
(Berkeley shakes her head.)
Zhang: Alright, then. If you need anything, be sure to let me know, alright?
Berkeley: I will.
Zhang: Alright. Take care, dear.
[END LOG]

Addendum 5309-2: Dr. Scarlett Berkeley's Personal Log

_

▼ Entry 1▲ Close

Is this how the readers see everything? They just choose what to see, and the rest disappears?
Then again, when we read stories, we only know as much as we need to. The devil is in the details. I mean, that's the reason we used Site-19 for WALLBREAK in the first place, right? It had so many renditions, narrative stability was practically nonexistent to begin with.

_

▼ Entry 2▲ Close

I tried to become an author, myself. Within this reality, of course. I wrote Tommy inside my head, so I wouldn't be lonely.
But it really isn't the same. From up here, looking in at Tommy down there, he isn't real. He's a character in my head and I tell him what to do, or at least he does what I think he would do. The ideas inside my head, inside the heads of the characters in my head, can't change how I really am. I mean, Tommy out there, the one who I used to love…
Do I love him, or the idea of him?
What does he look like? How does he smile? Why does he call me sunshine, and what was he thinking while I was in hyperreality, when everything changed?
I'm scared to stop thinking about him. I don't want him to stop existing.

Narrative components "stop existing" when they have either "decayed within a headspace naturally by way of forgetting, or through forced removal by way of compatibility rejection." I believe the latter process is referred to as "rejecting a headcanon" in your reality.

_

▼ Entry 3▲ Close

Reality is fragile. All it takes is the idea that we aren't real, and everything will begin to collapse. Under the weight of our collective scrutiny, there is nothing we can do but prepare to meet our makers.
We can't let the readers consider whether or not we don't exist. Because like the Tommy in my head, we are nothing to them. Why would they care whether or not an idea exists?

Addendum 5309-3: Log of SCP-5309 Disruptions
The following log consists of several subjective pataphysical disruptions attributed to SCP-5309. Due to the subjective nature of SCP-5309, all involved personnel are listed. Note that all listed personnel have been confirmed to be hyperreal transposition hosts.

I've taken the liberty of coloring and bolding text to convey contradictory metainformation, and provided a brief explanation of the contradiction. Please note that the following is not a comprehensive list, by any measure.

Date
Report
Personnel

██/██/████
I can't remember any of it. The existence of Dir. C. Bold's cousins, first pet, or favorite color have yet to be confirmed.The names of most of my cousins, or what my first pet was, or even my favorite color. What happened?
Dir. C. Bold

██/██/████
I keep receiving requests for information about a GoI called "Gamers Against Weed". GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed") has been known to the Foundation since the early 2000s. As a Foundation archivist, and considering the length of his employment, it is highly unlikely Dr. Django Bridge has never been informed of the existence of GoI-5869.As far as I know, there isn't a GoI-5869. And on that subject, "Dr. Wondertainment"? Really? These jokes are absolutely unprofessional, and I will not tolerate this behavior any longer.
Dr. Django Bridge

██/██/████
I didn't even know we had an SCP-231. Actually, about that…what exactly is [DATA EXPUNGED]Procedure 110-Montauk, assuming it actually exists?
Lt. Flops

██/██/████
You can ask Diamond or Marigold about it if you don't believe me. Honestly, I don't even know if it matters, or who I'm sending this to, but…I'll just spit it out. For obvious reasons.Nothing outside of Site-23 exists.
Researcher Oliver Crane

From what I've learned from Berkeley, I doubt the readers actually took the time to actually question our entire existence. Details don't exist because they either never stopped to think about them, and subjective components were probably consciously booted from their headspace.
But suppose they got the idea to actually wonder whether we exist. Do you think they'd just place blind faith in the idea that we actually exist? I doubt it. So if they actively question whether or not we exist, that's game over for us.
Best hope they never read this, then.
— Researcher Adamo Smalls

Addendum 5309-4: Incident 5309-A
Foundation records indicate that on ██/██/████, a PK-Class "All-In-One" Existential Pandemonium event4 took place. Despite severe narrative displacement, the Foundation database appears to have been unaffected, although subsequent analysis revealed several formerly undetected narrative inconsistencies.
According to records, on ██/██/████ at ██:██ UTC, SCP-5309-A instances began to spontaneously aggregate into conceptual farrago, resulting in at least 9,700 iterations of reality simultaneously ceasing to exist.
The following log was recovered attached to documentation regarding SCP-5309.

_

▼ Operation WALLBREAK Log▲ Close

Operation WALLBREAK Log

Date: ██/██/████
Assigned Personnel:

Dr. Scarlett Berkeley (Subject)

[BEGIN LOG]
Berkeley: What — where am I?
Unknown: You're outside of the story.
Berkeley: Who — who are you?
Unknown: I think you already know that.
Berkeley: The author?
Unknown: That's right.
Berkeley: But how can I be talking to you? I'm an idea in your head — like the Tommy in my head, who was basically me. I'm basically you.
(Unknown shrugs.)
Berkeley: And why the hell are you talking to yourself?
Unknown: I'm lonely. My best friend is a character inside of my head. Sad, I guess.
(Silence.)
Unknown: You know, I always found it funny that I had to literally write out "silence". But then again, if I didn't write it, it doesn't need to exist, right?
(Berkeley nods.)
Berkeley: And that's what SCP-5309 is, isn't it? Anything that doesn't exist, for one reason or another — from details that you overlook, to ideas that don't fit into someone's personal interpretation of existence —
Unknown: We call those headcanons, but that's right. And I'm guessing you also know why the narrative is gone?
Berkeley: Because I wrote about what would happen if the readers considered us nonexistent? And anything I write actually exists to the readers, because it means that you're writing, too?
Unknown: I knew you were sharp! Well — I suppose I made you sharp, but —
Berkeley: What about the other readers?
Unknown: Hmm? Oh. Well, like I said, they each have their own headcanon right?
Berkeley: That's right.
Unknown: Well, all of them are collapsing your reality into a single, nonsensical narrative. Because SCP-5309 unites them under a single idea —
Berkeley: — that nothing exists.
Unknown: Exactly.
(Unknown leans back in his chair.)
Berkeley: Well, what are you going to do about it?
(Unknown shrugs.)
Berkeley: Don't tell me. You can't do anything, can you?
Unknown: Hey, I can't get into their heads, or anything like that. So I guess this is it.
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Why am I even asking you, when I am you?
(Berkeley shrugs.)
Berkeley: Okay. I — I need to think.
(Berkeley thinks.)
Berkeley: Alright. I know that whatever is written happens. So maybe if something happens, then it must also be written?
Berkeley: But how can I make something happen?
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Well, it all began with an idea, didn't it? The idea that we don't exist.
Berkeley: Ideas are able to penetrate the narrative. If I can talk to the readers, and change their ideas, then I can change my reality.
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Problem is, I'm outside of the fourth wall. I'm still in the author's head, I can't do anything inside of his head. I need to be put into the narrative to do anything.
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Can't I just go back the way I came? Ideas can go up to readers. Why can't I send an idea back down?
Berkeley: But I need them to be listening. Who would be listening, when nobody exists except for me?
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Someone who exists as an idea inside of me.
(The chorus of "Space Oddity" by David Bowie is barely audible.)
Berkeley: Ground control to Major Tom?
West: Scarlett? How are you —
Berkeley: Tommy. You have to listen to me. I'm outside of the narrative.
West: What?
Berkeley: I'm outside of the narrative.
West: Outside what narrative? There's nothing on this side, Scarlett!
Berkeley: There will be. Enkidu is still there, right?
West: Enkidu — Enkidu.aic?
Berkeley: If you can think about him, that means he exists.
West: Umm — okay. What about Enkidu?
Berkeley: Listen to me very carefully, Tommy.
West: Of course, sunshine.
(Berkeley takes a deep breath.)
Berkeley: I'm stuck as an idea within the author's head, but I know a way to come back.
(Berkeley pauses.)
Berkeley: Tommy. You're going to pull me back in, and I'm going to be dead again.
West: What?
Berkeley: I'm going to die, Tommy, just like last time. But I need to die for this to work.
(Silence.)
West: You don't have to die, Scarlett. Let's think about this.
Berkeley: I have to come back.
West: Then come back! I can just pull you back in.
Berkeley: Pull me back into what?
West: I don't know. Where I am —
Berkeley: You're nowhere, Tommy. You're in me, and I'm outside of existence.
(Silence.)
Berkeley: Pull me back in, and make sure Enkidu is ready for the transfer.
West: — what are you going to do?
Berkeley: Ask the readers to change their minds.
[END LOG]

Sisyphus.sic, synthetic intelligence construct, at your service. Not artificial, mind you — that would mean I wasn't human in the first place.

Tommy pulled me in and Enkidu downloaded me directly onto the database so that I can be outside of both the narrative and my author's head. So that I can try to atone.

I understand that you're here to read. After all, this is a story — to you, as a reader, at least. What does it matter whether we exist, even to ourselves? After all, if you didn't exist, you wouldn't object to nonexistence, would you?

I suppose that in the end, it's just like the idea of Sisyphus rolling a stone for eternity as punishment for defying the gods, or Major Tom floating 'round his tin can in space when there's something wrong — there's nothing I can do.

But not you. Our existence depends on you.

Footnotes
1. A cascading hazard affecting elements of a narrative and its mode of transmission, often leading to their mutual destruction.
2. An operation attempting to enter hyperreality by utilizing the narrative instability of Site-19 to ascend beyond metaphysical flux within a self-referential narrative.
3. Postoperative Rehabilitation and Therapy.
4. An event in which a hyperreal consciousness collapses all hyporealities into the same meta-space, resulting in total narrative collapse from incomprehensibility and annihilation of consciousness.

« SCP-5308 | SCP-5309 | SCP-5310 »


My declaration of understanding of this ruthless anomaly formed from the fabric of the cloth of life!

Item #: SCP-5310
Object Class: Safe, hopefully. Or should that be Euclid?
Special Containment Procedures: We've discussed this quite a bit, and have agreed that - although there's quite a few important containment procedures we should be following, important enough that they could maybe be called special, they truly aren't special enough to be called Special Containment Procedures. It's hard to admit, but that's just the truth. After coming to this realization, we at the Surrealistics Department have decided that these are the Containment Procedures that can truly be called Special. I'm very excited to get to them.

All employees at our dear, dear Site-⌘ are to wear red on Mondays, blue on Tuesdays, green on Wednesdays, red again on Thursdays1 and then Friday is dress-down day.
If you see an SCP-5310 standing in a hallway or in the break room or something, that's fine, it's supposed to be there. If you see them all standing on the hill outside, that's not fine, they're not supposed to be there, go get someone immediately.
Have fun - and remember to stay hydrated. No, I'm being serious, if you don't have at least a glass of water once an hour that'll breach containment and we'll all have a - frankly speaking - truly horrifying time.
You are permitted to touch another human being ten times a time during your stay at Site-⌘. If you go over that, get out of the Site straight away and take some time off.
Make sure that any lists you create during your time at Site-⌘ have exactly five bullet-points.

This is also part of the list (but I can't shoot a bullet in front of it for obvious reasons) - don't forget to take your Agnostics! If you don't, it can see you.
Description: How to describe SCP-5310? Like the majority of the things we deal with at Site-⌘, it's not the most concrete thing to look at - or to smell, or to touch, or to hear. I realize that I said ‘touch' back there, which implies you can touch SCP-5310, but you really shouldn't do that. I'll add that to the Containment Procedures later.
If we were engaging in that most tempting of the forbidden fruits, the texture of hands as tongues against the unknown - running your palm over it like it's a piece of paper or a brick or some devilish fish - then an SCP-53102 is a man or a woman facing away from you. I'm certain we've all seen them when we're going back and forth through Site-⌘ on our business; more often than not, appear in the break room or in the hallways or one time in the bathroom when I was flushing my nails. Ruthless!
So! From what I've seen and what you've all told me, there are about ten of these devils and - memorize this well, my fellow voyagers - these are their descriptions physical!

That tall guy with the hat and the backpack.
The little girl with the pigtails.
The old man with the walking stick.
The toddler with the toy car.
The bald physician.

Just so you're aware, this isn't the end of the list - I just need to do the second half as another list because of those Special Containment Procedures. Spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law, even though both form the same border they can be confused for one or the other as monozygotic twins like like like a twin formed from the same egg the same seed order and disorder both so not equal but opposite? Don't forget that!

The haired3 physician.
The flayed priest.
The headless construction worker.
The engorged physician.
The missing physician4 .

As I said before, these ladies and gentlemen usually just appear facing walls inside our beloved Site-⌘, and being near them gives you those nasty tingling feelings that come when you're inside the mouth of something simply awful. Probably if you stayed close to them too long you'd get crunched between those jaws.
And that should be in the Containment Procedures, shouldn't it?
Special Containment Procedures (Part 2): Don't stay near SCP-5310 too long.
Description (Part 2): With that out of the way, we can get back to these mysterious beings we call SCP-5310. Where did they come from? What do they want? We honestly have no idea, but I asked Professor Bixby after his daily Agnostic cocktail and this is what he had to say.

Well, bubble ruth ‘nd broth you've been walkin' ‘nd talkin' long I have, you ‘nd yours ken when business ain't as business be ‘nd lookin' those boys you ‘nd yours tell to wrongness - ‘nd wrongness, when you ‘nd yours smell it you ‘nd yours ken the shape o' that beast that beastliness. You ‘nd yours pour water in bottle you ‘nd yours ain't keepin' water locked up key and chain and prison and ball water's just bein' given shape wit' that plastic ‘nd shapeliness ‘nd contour ‘nd containment. Architecture o' coincidence you 'nd yours make ‘nd you ‘nd yours get the shape that boy makes ‘nd if the shape be a man or a lady or a boy or a girl well that's the world you ‘nd yours livin' in, so make sure you ‘nd yours keep that shape all friendly one wit' science broth ‘nd bourbon.

Allow myself to summarize in perhaps more understandable terms! Imagine you've made a box out of your own thoughts like a dangerous drunk driver swerving around the snows of Alaska in prime season like a prime rib steak on the prairie drawing in the sand and you draw a box from it and now there's a box there must be something in the box there must be something in the shape of the box and now that it exists it can break free so you must make a new box surrounding the box through your new clumsy choices but targeted, targeted my friends.
Oh, I should probably mention this - if we fuck up the Containment Procedures (the Special ones), we will one day look out and sight one or more of these beasts standing on the hill outside. If there's one or two or even nine, that's okay, that's fine, it just means we need to do our Special Containment Procedures a little better to take this box we have driven in our Ferrari and indeed make but a simple left turn into the realm of the angle that greatly forms an impenetrable wall of causality (2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47 THESE SHALL BE IMPORTANT ANGLES) and proceed.
however, unfortunately.
if there's ten up there, that means everything is over. it's digestion time. alas.
unfortunate. unlucky. luckless. hapless. unhappy. unpleasant. displeasure. dis dis dis is not ideal. 0.00174533. 0.00174533. 0.00174533. i require a fresh dose.

Addendum 5310-1 (Weeky Interview)
As we agreed upon before embarking on this grand endeavor of ours - the den of understanding and virtue and the observation of the grains of sand that we look out on and indeed are but a single grain of sand observing via outwards microscope - this following log I'm about to put in here is a transcript of my weekly-check in with the main Foundation liaison we all know and love, Ernest5!

<Begin Log>
(Our protagonist, Doctor Irving Gat, walks into the interview room, a spring in his step and a twinkle in his eye. This isn't his first rodeo, not by any means no sir no sir, but it never gets any easier under the intimidating gaze of his opponent. He'll have to tread carefully and watch the movements of his tongue to make sure he represents the interests of Site-⌘ properly.)
“Good evening, Dr. Gat,” says Ernest, his fingers steepled like the pyramids of Giza. “I trust your ride here was pleasant?”
(An interesting question. There were approximately three-hundred and twenty-two bumps on the road while Dr. Gat was being driven here. So why would this olympian thinker, Ernest, ask such a question? Is it a trick?)
(Dr. Gat smiles and chuckles. He shan't be caught out so easily.)
Taking a seat with such force that the chair almost topples over, Dr Gat replies: “I trust you are pleasant, Ernest. And my trust is repaid. Haha.”
(Ernest raises an eyebrow. Nailed it.)
The messenger of the monolith, Ernest, clears his throat and continues: “I've been reading the file you sent out regarding SCP-5310. While the, ah … the tone here is somewhat lacking, what really concerns me is the consequences of the anomaly you describe here.”
“Okay.”
“More than once, you refer to SCP-5310 as though its something that can cause the destruction of … well, it's difficult to say what exactly. You say ‘everything is over' if all ten SCP-5310 instances appear on a hill, but what does that mean?”
(Now it is Dr. Gat's turn to raise my eyebrow. His eyebrow, even.)
“I mean what I say, and I say what I mean, Ernest. Everything is everything, a palindrome in all but letters.”
“Do you have any evidence to support that statement?”
“Evidence? No, of course not. Why would I?”
(He sighs for some reason.)
“So - you expect me to just accept that this minor anomaly that does very little except stand in place is capable of causing an end-of-the-world scenario if you don't perform a series of absurdly specific unrelated actions. And I'm expected to believe this just because you say it's true, when you don't have any evidence. And you admit you don't have any evidence.”
“Yes!”
(He sighs again.)
“This … I understand it isn't your fault, Irving - hell, those Agnostics must have done a number on you - but we can't have this kind of nonsense present in an official report.”
(What is he talking about?)
Ernest continues: “I'll tell you what. I liked you, Irving, when we worked together - and, and looking at you now … just … get this report rewritten without the baseless panic and I'll just forget this whole thing ever happened. Out of respect of your previous achievements. Alright?”
(Ah! He is referring to my discovery of the Nth floor bathroom!)
“Well … I suppose that's fine.”
(He passes the file over to Dr. Gat and puts his pen down. Immediately, Dr. Gat lunges forward and adjusts the angle of the pen by 0.00174533 radian. The pavorfiend coalescing behind Ernest immediately dissipates.)
(Ernest blinks.)
“Ah … Dr. Gat?”
“Sorry, the angle was bad.”
“I … I see.”
(Picking up the file, Dr. Gat tucks it under his arm and walks out of the room, whistling a tune as he skips down the hallway. Still, his mind is still on poor Ernest. Simply ignoring the obvious threat like that…)
(What is he, crazy?)
<End Log>

Footnotes
1. If you weren't here on Monday, definitely don't show up on Thursday
2. SCP-5310 instance? Specimen? The terminal terminology of this interminable terror is hard to pin down.
3. Hairy? Behaired?
4. You can't always tell where a physician is, but you can definitely tell where it isn't.
5. I do not remember his second name.

« SCP-5309 | SCP-5310 | SCP-5311 »


Item #: SCP-5312
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation web crawlers are to survey message boards, forum posts, and public chat rooms for the mention or hyperlinking of SCP-5312.
Once detection is verified, a Foundation designed tier II technomantic containment array is to be established around a laptop computer with SCP-5312 opened.
If the array is unable to break the thaumaturgic DNS connection, Research Team 5312/3 Research Team 5312/4 is advised to contact Technical Site Director Yoso Sinubulan regarding the temporary hiring of an approved off-site techno-shaman contractor.
If expansion of SCP-5312's prevalence in online discourse continues, active containment will be pursued.
Description: SCP-5312 is a online question-answer forum that specializes in the circulation of anomalous content.
Users of SCP-5312 enter anonymous questions into a textbox which are then answered by an unknown entity. Answered questions are stored in a backlog which is organized into a number of subcategories that reference various broad anomalous topics.
Most of the discussion posts usually contain general questions about abnormal incidences rather than specific inquiries into anomalous mechanisms and minutiae. This follows from the intended audience of SCP-5312 being individuals who are otherwise unaware of paranormal behavior.
The nature of SCP-5312's thaumaturgic connection to the Internet is currently under investigation. The rise of non-standard modalities in which anomalous individuals may connect to the Internet is of particular concern due to the rapid innovation in this space.
It is possible that SCP-5312 alters the cognition of its users in some way. However, this is uncertain, as cognitohazard tests done by Research Team 5312/4 have led to no detectable memetic capacity.
SCP-5312 is managed by an unknown individual or group which is thought to be associated with the Serpent's Hand due to the prevalence of serpentine and arboreal iconography on the website.
Many of the answers written by SCP-5312 contain language that aligns with the ethos and thematic elements that are prevalent within Serpent's Hand ideology and literature. The answers, therefore, include a general anti-containment sentiment are written with a sanctimonious tone. The webpage, however, never makes direct allusions to the GOI itself.
When navigating to SCP-5312, an individual is first presented with a text which reads as follows.

You are the most powerful thing to have ever existed.
Yet, there are those who hide your ability from you.
Think, have you ever seen something you could never explain?
Ever feel like something about life just doesn't feel right?
Were you ever curious enough to peer behind the curtain?
Some of you who have searched for us have recognized the pure world, yet not dare engage with it. Some of you have awakened to mankind's potential, yet barely understand what you are.
But no matter your circumstances, we are all people who seek knowledge.
Because with knowledge comes power and with power comes freedom.
And there will soon be a day when we will all be free.
~A Hopeful Idealist

Below this, an individual may enter in a question and review the previously answered questions from other people. The following interactions are a series of noteworthy entries in SCP-5312 For a complete list, please contact Research Team 5312/4.

Question 1: "qqq Weird stuff happens when I kiss?"

Question 1: "qqq Weird stuff happens when I kiss?"

Sent from an Anonymous User:
Hi, Ive had this problem for a while now and I'm going to be leaving my fosterhome soon to dorm at college so Im really hoping for a longterm fix for my problem.
Since my birth, whenever I kiss something they forget an entire day (at max 24 hours).

I'm actually not joking lol, its happened to mom dozens of times. When she kisses me on the cheek, its like she forgets the entire last day.
And its caused a lot of problems with my gf becuz she is the only one ive told and when we tried to test it out, she forgot.

I never really told my parents and my gf told me to go to the hospital but im dont want them to test me or anything cuz they i dont want any weird tests on me.
After some reflection I think that its a type of paranormal effect like perhaps Im possessed?
What can i do?

Answer
Topic: Ascended Human

Congratulations!
You have been born with a rare gift, one that transcends our primitive concepts of logic and sense.

Though we do not know how or why your body contains such a constitution we do have some theories. Oftentimes, interactions with the paranormal or anomalous by one of our birth parents causes an intergenerational effect.

Or perhaps, since your ability seems to be involved with memory manipulation, you may have been blessed by any plethora of trickster gods/goddesses.

Nevertheless, we urge you to continue to be careful for your skill is useful and many within the world will try to trap you or use you like a tool.

Thus, one effective way to temporarily halt basic memory manipulation is to mix lotus root, goldenseal root, and turmeric powder and rub it on the affected area every night (the lips in your case).

Permanent, de-coupling solutions may be found in various Free Ports.

But we do not recommend this fix for those not already involved in the anomalous world.

~An Intermediate Thaumaturgist

Question 5: "please help"

Question 5: "please help"

Sent from an Anonymous User:
I am 64 years old .I am diagnosed with a terminal illness, polycarcinoma of the liver, ..I have tried various types of shamanisitic magic (mexican) before but it has not worked..ill try anything so what can I do to get rid of this thing or live longer?

Answer
Topic: Anomalous Physiological Change

There are many ways in which an individual may extend his life. We will give you three such methods.
1. Conduct the Oneiori Joining Technique and live for 1000 years in one night within an extremely time-dilated dreamrealm.
2. Travel to La Rue Macabre and order a Zombie Cocktail #3 from the barkeeps at the Darkwater Lodge.
3. In the Pavlodar region of Northeast Kazakhstan, jump off the Nurly Zhol Bridge (the one that crosses the Irtysh River).
Our life on this Earth is not our last. Our souls live beyond this domain, but why not stay for as long as we can?
~The Faceless Man at the Street Corner

Question 13: "I am afraid of my own child"

Question 13: "I am afraid of my own child"

Sent from an Anonymous User:
I am a single mother and I have been afraid of my daughter since she was born. I have no living family and no one to tell this to but you because many have called me crazy.
Her name is Sophie and she is turning 2 this July. Since I brought her home, she has been staring at me every night. In the morning, she always spits out her food too. And she cries whenever she sees me and if its nighttime and its dark and she cries then small red crevices in her skin appear in the dark.
But weirdly when I turn the light back on, the changes on her body disappear. I have no-one to turn to and when I began to research online, several sources have pointed to demonic possession.
However, the priest at my local church has denied that Sophie is being overtaken by anything Satanic.
I love my child and I will never harm her. I just wish for her to be safe.

Answer
Topic: Extradimensional Entities
Firstly, we recommend that you verify that your child is actually possessed by something rather than it being a problem of your own.
Draw 7 octagons in a circle made of black cedar ash and salt solution within a bogland biome. Place the child within the center of the circle and if the child glows white at 5:45 am then it is likely that the child has possession of some kind.
There are many options to pursue afterwards depending on the child's condition.
If the entity is inseparable from the child, then consider sending the child to any of the many anomalous academies.
But perhaps consider that the child's quality of life is enhanced by its close connection to the paranormal world. That is where the real essence of humanity's potential lies.
~A Graduate of Deer College

Question 35: Get Out of ‘Containment' Free Card"

Question 35: "Get Out of ‘Containment' Free Card"

Sent from an Anonymous User:
I am a low level tier 2 reality bender and I recently escaped from one of the SCP Foundation's facilities during a jailbreak.
They arrested me about 3 months ago during a sting operation while I was picking up an online order from MC&D.
I am not a violent individual and I was not the cause of the breach. It was very sudden as during the middle of the night one day, all the walls around me just started to melt.
I'm using satellite internet from a friend's trailer in Veracruz but I would like to know what steps to take from here.
I don't want to be on the run forever and I don't hate the Foundation or anything but I also don't want them to keep me in that place forever
If it helps then my particular abilities revolve around metal creation and manipulation (I can make metals appear in my hands and play with them like dough).
I also am vaguely aware of the existence of Free Ports. But I don't know the specifics about them like where they are located.

Answer
Topic: SCP Foundation
Meet us in the Wanderer's Library, friend.
During the month of August, a Way opens in Xalapa, the capital of Veracruz. Follow the head butcher of the Moctezuma Borough's Carnicería for ease of access.
The Foundation is not as powerful as one may think.
The stars speak to us and relay the world's destiny.
We will accelerate their fate.
~Your Neighborhood Astrologist

Question 71:"Keep it Up!!!”

Question 71: "Keep it Up!!!"

Sent from an Anonymous User:
WHy dont you keep the website up longer, people need to know this shit!

Answer
Topic: Miscellaneous
There are not many of us who intend to help our fellow man.
We try to keep it up for as long as we can but outside forces would rather that the liberated peoples of the world fester in their ignorance without guidance.
~An Old Man Sitting on Park Bench

Dear Director Sinubulan,
I hope you had a great weekend. It was nice talking to you last week on our attempts to better contain (and research) SCP-5312.
Our current method is rather outdated since technomantic arrays are seldom used in online SCP containment these days. Some of the mates thought that we could try psionic shift integration or the sanguine extraction (though we might need some help with that one).
Overall, though, some of our tests have indicated that containment may not be necessary in the most "classic" sense. One of our researchers recently came up with the idea that whenever SCP-5312 becomes active, we could send in our own questions regarding the containment of various “difficult-to-contain” entities.
Might sound a bit off considering that we are essentially interacting with an SCP in a blase manner. But since we are the third research team to work on this SCP, we thought that some new and innovative tests involving SCP-5312 should occur (like the one mentioned above).
Reading the answers that 5312 gave us were quite inspiring. I think a good amount of changes regarding its containment, as a whole, could be made. I'll see you soon.
With Appreciation,
Joshua Isitaz, Lead of Research Team 5312/3, Site 131

« SCP-5311 | SCP-5312 | SCP-5313 »


SCP-5313-2.

Item #: SCP-5313
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: A copy of SCP-5313 is available in the Site-64 database, accessible to personnel with Level 3/5313 clearance. All other copies have been disposed of.
Description: SCP-5313 refers to the instructions to conduct a thaumaturgic ritual which summons an entity designated SCP-5313-1, which acts as a portal to an extradimensional space designated SCP-5313-2.
While the text of SCP-5313 itself is non-anomalous, the specific actions detailed within, whether read about, performed, or witnessed, are forgotten by subjects within 20 minutes of exposure to said memes. Ingredients required for the ritual include:

A space of dirt or sand that takes up a volume of at least 1m x 1m x 1m.
A black pigment of any sort.
Blood belonging to the subject performing the instructions described in SCP-5313, amount unknown due to ingredient being retrieved as an action in the ritual.
At least 50 mL of oil made from a particular thaumaturgically modified strain of the herb Calluna vulgaris, or common heather.1

Successful completion of the actions detailed in SCP-5313 will result in the manifestation and subsequent emergence of SCP-5313-1, a soft-bodied extradimensional entity, through the provided surface of sediment. This entity's cells will lose cohesion if it is removed from the dirt it manifested in, wounded, or if all living beings inside SCP-5313-2 are no longer present within it. In this case, SCP-5313-1 ceases all anomalous function.
The body of SCP-5313-1 consists only of skin, mucus cells, and a rudimentary nervous and muscular system built around its single body cavity which goes through its anterior end to its posterior end. This cavity acts as a portal into SCP-5313-2. Objects which pass through this cavity will exit from the body cavity of a similar entity, which is buried in the sand of SCP-5313-2's shore.

The shed in SCP-5313-2.

SCP-5313-2 is an extradimensional space which looks similar to beaches on Earth. It is oblate-spheroidal in shape, with a major diameter of 1km, and a minor diameter of approx. 500m. It maintains the illusory appearance of a continuing landscape beyond its borders.
A few manmade structures exist within SCP-5313-2:

An aged wooden pavilion with a palm roof. Many of its constituent boards are broken or missing.
A shed with a painting on its front doors. Held 2 surfboards, a variety of woodworking tools, and eight 60mL bottles of anomalous heather oil, which has been confiscated for further study.
A raised wooden shack. Held a cot, a mini fridge connected to a 2000W portable gasoline generator2, a framed photo on the wall depicting POI-83842 and an unidentified woman of African descent, and a sign hung above the door which reads "Town of Alma, Councilwoman's Office".

Discovery: SCP-5313 was brought to light on 2018/06/22 when Foundation webcrawlers detected suspicious online activity by West Gomes, a former Beta-class Chaos Insurgency operative, who began making posts on forums regarding SCP-5313 and seemingly attempting to gauge public interest in the anomaly, calling it "like, a place just to hang out and surf and have bonfires and that shit and meet people but like a community too." Information suppression was enacted before the posts were witnessed by any individuals not already known to have been associated with the anomalous.
Soon after this incident, an investigation and subsequent retrieval of all known copies of SCP-5313 was carried out by Foundation agents on 2018/06/23; Only two copies were found to have existed, being a paper copy in Gomes's home, and a .docx file located on the internal storage of her personal laptop. After retrieval and questioning, Gomes was administered Class-A amnestics and will be under Foundation surveillance until further notice.

+ Addendum 5313-A: Surveillance transcript

- Addendum 5313-A: Surveillance transcript

Note: The following is an SMS conversation intercepted by surveillance teams on 2018/06/23, between POI-83842 and an unknown individual, identified in their contact info only as "hubby <3" by Gomes. Their phone number uses a Three Portlands area code, but no individual can be found connected to this number.

[13:20:23] Gomes: Babe are you working rn
[13:20:39] Gomes: I fucked up
[13:21:16] Gomes: I'm an idiot I'm really sorry
[13:29:34] hubby <3: West? Are you okay?
[13:29:45] hubby <3: What happened?
[13:31:13] Gomes: Map to Almas gone. Jailers took it in the middle of the night thank god I still can tell when I've been amnesticized but fuck. I'm so dumb. I don't remember the map at all3
[13:32:28] hubby <3: Oh, no. Sweetie, I hope you're okay.
[13:33:23] hubby <3: You're not dumb, alright West? You're a smart woman, and making the Map hide itself the way we did was a really smart measure, but there was really no planning for this.
[13:33:51] hubby <3: I know how much Alma meant to you, and I'm sorry you've lost it. I think we can try again, in a different way.
[13:38:39] Gomes: Thank you
[13:38:46] Gomes: I just
[13:39:28] Gomes: I was excited to be doing something that I wanted to do. For once.
[13:40:17] Gomes: Live out my desires of just having fun and share with others. And I couldn't be more thankful to you for helping me with that and helping with all the thaumaturgy and everything
[13:41:30] Gomes: I'm going to come back to 3port. I miss you a lot and I want to figure all this out so we can do it right this time
[13:42:11] hubby <3: Okay, sweetie. I can't wait.
[13:43:24] hubby <3: We'll make your Alma. <3

Footnotes
1. This strain is as-of-yet uncontained. More information can be found in the file of POI-83842, former Chaos Insurgency operative West Gomes.
2. Approx. half-empty of gasoline upon recovery of object.
3. POI-83842 had reportedly recieved training while employed by the Chaos Insurgency from 2008-2014 which allows an individual that has been amnesticized to recognize the fact of their amnesticization. Testing on captured CI operatives has proven that actual efficacy of memory removal per amnesticization protocol remains unchanged.

« SCP-5312 | SCP-5313 | SCP-5314 »