SCP-5961 — Under Pressure
Collab with AvocadoMilk!

▸ More by this Author ◂

{$comments2}

F.A.Q.

{$doesthisfixthebug}

2/5961 LEVEL 2/5961
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5961

keter

Special Containment Procedures: As there is currently no known method to contain SCP-5961, all containment efforts are to center around the perimeter of all existing SCP-5961-A instances. To execute this task, Cover Story G.96 ("Endangered Environment") is to be applied to all viewings of containment sites.

The SCPB Rinta prior to deployment, circa 1978.

Description: SCP-5961 refers to a phenomenon occurring worldwide, consisting of a series of events and the creation of SCP-5961-A. Haphazardly, SCP-5961 will occur within bodies of water at least 500 metres deep, mostly consisting of several phases irregularly:

Phase 1: All water within a 200-metre radius of the SCP-5961 event will begin forming a whirlpool and pulling all objects inside the perimeter. This process is progressive, speeding up as time proceeds.

Phase 2: Water affected by SCP-5961 will begin concentrating and pulling onto a single point, before exploding upwards. Depending on the depth wherein the SCP-5961 event is taking place, the water will reach higher or lower distances on the surface.

Phase 3: All objects ejected onto the surface will begin levitating for up to two hours before being attracted into the Earth twice as fast since they were ejected into the air. Along with this, an SCP-5961-A instance will be developed.

SCP-5961-A is the collective designation given to all areas that are subjected to an SCP-5961 event. Following the conversion of a perimeter into an SCP-5961-A instance, all objects entering the area will subsequently transform into instances of Valentin's sharpnose puffers, also known as Canthigaster valentini or saddled puffers.1
Notably, these species are buoyant and resistant to hydrostatic pressure.

Discovery and Notable Incidents

Discovery and Notable Incidents

SCP-5961 was discovered during the loss of the SCPB Rinta, a Foundation vessel employed for the exploration of Site-72's surroundings and the Mariana Trench. On the prior hours, Drs. Avery Cado and Samantha Abbett were using the craft to identify an unknown anomaly that appeared near Deep Sea Site-72.
However, in the middle of the exploration, the SCPB Rinta became the subject of an SCP-5961 event before being ejected upwards. This led to the impact of the anomaly on the coast of Mindanao Island after two hours of levitation, reaching heights of 2.4 kilometres above the ground. Moreover, the SCP-5961-A instance created as a result of this event was not discovered.
Since this incident, several SCP-5961 events were recorded worldwide, with its assigned facility being Deep Sea Site-72. The following includes a series of notable incidents caused by SCP-5961:

Date
Location
Event

29/09/1990
Barkly, Australia
Foundation satellites located a massive cloud of several substances over the skies of Barkly. Initially believed to be a mass of gases generated by nearby factories, it was revealed that approximately 110.000 fish of different species such as mullet, carp and mackerels composed this mass. Following the downfall of the fish over the territory, several masses were seen falling over the water prior to entering an SCP-5961-A instance. All vessels within the zone were later evacuated to avoid poisoning by pufferfish. Cover Story G.18 ("Tornado") was implanted in nearby municipalities.

30/11/1992
Nova Scotia, Canada
After multiple eyewitness reports of whales and rocks falling over the coasts of Nova Scotia, Foundation satellites located a large mass of levitating whales over Nova Scotia's skies. The event had occurred over the Northumberland Strait and lifted multiple species of aquatic birds, insects and vertebrae. The birds within the flock of whales created a sound that alarmed most civilians, although the local population was quickly administered amnestics as the wildlife fell into SCP-5961-A, becoming pufferfish.

20/01/1994
Irkutsk, Russia
An SCP-5961 event occurred within Baikal Lake, causing various objects such as fish, rocks, relics and other buried materials to be ejected over the skies. After levitating over the lake for four hours, the mass began falling towards the Earth, injuring a large amount of fauna and flora within the Lake's surroundings as it caused a small forest fire. Cover Story G.32 ("Asteroid") was deployed in the surrounding areas. Due to the thickness of the ice over the lake, no pufferfish were seen nearby. The SCP-5961-A instance was also discovered.

16/07/1995
New Orleans, United States
Reports of a nuclear bomb falling over the streets of New Orleans brought up the theory that the United States of America was under attack of North Korean and Russian missiles, even if no emergency warning was issued. However, it was revealed that the falling object was rather an abandoned Russian submarine. Cover Story G.18 ("Tornado") was implanted. Three people were hurt upon impact.

23/05/1997
Cape Town, South Africa
While no records of SCP-5961 occurred within the area, a large instance of Canthigaster valentini2 appeared on the beaches of Cape Town, vomiting pufferfish. It was later deemed as the result of a vessel entering an SCP-5961-A instance, and Cover Story G.67 ("Movie Cast") was implanted among the people.

27/11/1998
Mariana Trench, Pacific Ocean
See below (Addendum 5691.2: Incident Log)

Incident Log

Incident Log

On November 27th, 1998, a joint investigation led by both the SCP Foundation and the Global Occult Coalition was started in order to research an Ekhi-Class anomaly that was roaming the depths of the Mariana Trench. When the assigned bathyscaphe, the SCP/GOC-B Toi, reached approximately 4.8 kilometres of depth, an SCP-5961 event occurred.
As the water began swirling, the nearby environment began submitting itself to the anomaly's effects regardless of status or nature. The SCP/GOC-B Toi was also affected during this period, leading it to be ejected upwards at extremely fast speeds. The water was later revealed to reach space, creating several seaquakes that reached the coasts of the Philippines, China and Japan while not reaching Deep Sea Site-72.
The following log depicts the events as recorded by Foundation and GOC agents Carbon and Jerden within the SCP/GOC-B Toi, which also reached the limits of the Thermosphere:

[BEGIN LOG]
Z-72 Carbon: Wuh?
(The agents begin looking onto the chamber's floor as it begins shaking.)
S-51 Jerden: Command, command. Do you copy?
Command: Roger that, Jerden. Copy.
S-51 Jerden: The vessel is shaking, command. Repeat. The vessel is shaking.
Command: Wait, what?
Z-72 Carbon: It's not shaking; it's spinning!
(The agents stumble to the floor as the SCP/GOC-B Toi begins elevating. Z-72 Carbon begins panicking, while S-51 Jerden tries to contact command.)
S-51 Jerden: FUCK!
Z-72 Carbon: What's happening?
S-51 Jerden: Hell if I know!
(Z-72 Carbon begins crawling towards her seat, trying to reach her security belt. S-51 Jerden does the same.)
Command: Carbon? Jerden? Do you copy?
S-51 Jerden: Yeah. What's going on? Are we pulling up, or..?
Command: No. There's something g-
(The signal cuts.)
Z-72 Carbon: Oh shit.
(The ship's sonar begins recording Deep Sea Site-72, as Z-72 Carbon reaches for an oxygen mask on the roof of the vessel.)
Z-72 Carbon: When the fuck did we put on so much gas?
S-51 Jerden: I don't know!
(The signal comes back intermittently.)
Command: Why is the- [STATIC] -ter pillar o- [STATIC] -trench?
S-51 Jerden: What was that?
Command: Why is there a water pillar on top of the trench? OH GOD, IT'S COM-
(The signal cuts once again.)
Z-72 Carbon: Oh god.
(The cameras stop recording, although signals can be sent through the agents' microphones.)
S-51 Jerden: I can't hear anything outside except water.
Z-72 Carbon: I mean, yeah, it's-
Z-72 Carbon: Oh, look, camera's broken.
(The vessel stops moving, completely suspended mid-air.)
S-51 Jerden: Wait. Wh-
Z-72 Carbon: Shit, we're in a buoy now.
S-51 Jerden: What? What do you mean?
(Z-72 Carbon shrugs.)
Z-72 Carbon: We're in space.
S-51 Jerden: You're saying the fucking vessel is…
Z-72 Carbon: Yes.
(The vessel begins moving towards the Earth once again.)
Z-72 Carbon: The vessel is buoyant. And sometimes, some things in life simply float.
(Silence. Carbon looks around the chamber before shrugging.)
Z-72 Carbon: Then why not let us emerge?
(The microphones cut as the vessel falls.)
[END LOG]

While the object was recorded reaching 55 kilometres of height, the impact was recorded on the Mariana Trench, causing the second round of seaquakes. All video recordings of the SCP-5961 event taking place were cut out and all information regarding the anomaly was expunged on social media.
The aftermath of the event resulted in several consequences, such as 1.259 casualties and 3.467 injured people. As a result, Foundation personnel disseminated along the media the fact that this was, indeed, caused by Cover Story G.54 ("Tsunami/Seaquake"). Due to Deep Sea Site-72's status as an underwater site, the SCP-5961 caused minor damages within the facility.
The SCP/GOC-B Toi was reported missing. Instead, reports of a large pufferfish and two small blowfishes were brought up near Deep Sea Site-72.
A few minutes prior to the impact, the agents' cameras began recording once again. As the camera became blurry, the anomaly began recording the SCP/GOC-B Toi's transformation into a large pufferfish, as Carbon and Jerden tried to leave the capsule. Instead of being crushed by the hydrostatic pressure, though, both agents became pufferfish.
The following are agent Jerden's last words prior to his disappearance:

what is going on

why is [illegible] a bubble

why am i a pufferfish

oh

blurp

beware the buoyancy

Footnotes
1. A species of pufferfish distributed along tropical spaces.
2. Approximately 40 meters high.

« SCP-5960 | SCP-5961 | SCP-5962 »


Item #: SCP-5962
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5962 is to be kept in a Large Containment Cell at Site-18. It is to be cleaned 3 times per week through the use of an automated sprinkler system. All food that it produces are to be collected and incinerated.
Description: SCP-5962 is an obese humanoid resembling the McDonald's fast-food mascot known as "Ronald McDonald". It weighs approximately 5 tonnes, and is 4 m in height. The specimen is naked except wearing only yellow gloves, and red shoes. Its head is notably large, having a diameter of 1.3 m. A layer of frying oil covers its skin, which is constantly secreted through its pores.
Despite its humanoid appearance, SCP-5962 is genetically identical to cows (Bos taurus). It lacks numerous internal organs, and instead have 27 interconnected stomachs of varying sizes that serve no biological function. SCP-5962 does not respond to any stimuli, and as a result it is not considered sapient. It is dormant for the majority of its time, however, once a day it will be active.
SCP-5962 will unhinge its jaw before producing packaged items from the McDonald's menu from out of its mouth. The items appear ordinary but upon closer inspection they comprise entirely of human biological matter (View Addendum 01). Class-D personnel report no difference in taste compared to regularly produced food from McDonald's. They experience no adverse medical effects1.
The entity produces around 10,000 kg worth of menu items per day. It is not currently known how SCP-5962 produces such large amounts of food. Genetic analysis of the food are matched with multiple living individuals that report no unusual activity.
SCP-5962 was discovered in Beijing, China on 03/23/2005. It was kept within a packaging facility owned by the McDonald's Corporation. Food and frying oil produced by the entity were being collected, and then distributed across McDonald's restaurants within the country. Foundation agents learned of the entity's existence through rumors from the local populace. An interview with the facility manager was conducted, see Addendum 02.
Addendum 01: Food Log
The following partially details the composition of items produced by SCP-5962. For the complete documentation, see Document-5962-E.

Food Items
Composition

Bacon and french fries
Cartilage and ligaments

Bread
Hair, nails, and skin

Coffee
Liquified fecal matter

Chicken nuggets
Fingers, ovaries, and testes

Salad
Hair and dried nasal mucus

Orange juice
Stomach acid

Smoothies
Liquified muscle tissue or brain matter, depending on the flavor

Eggs
Human fat

Ketchup
Coagulated blood

Mustard
Pus

Water
Saline solution mixed with sweat.

Hot dogs and sausages
Small intestines

Ice-cream
Pus, bone marrow, feces, and nasal mucus, depending on the flavor.

Addendum 02: Recovery Log
Foreword: The following transcript is of the body cam footage of MTF field agents Johnathan Zhang, and George Nagasu. The log has been edited to remove extraneous content. The transcript begins outside of the packaging facility where SCP-5962 was being kept.

[BEGIN LOG]
COMMAND: Everyone ready?
Agent Zhang: Ready.
Agent Nagasu: I'm ready, command. Nervous, Zhang?
Agent Zhang: Fuck you. I told you I am not afraid of clowns.
COMMAND: Bravo Team has entered the east side of the building. Go Alpha Team!
Agent Zhang: (Mutters to himself) Here we go again.
Operatives exit from transport vehicle and rush into the building. The team enter the packaging area through a pair of doors.
Agent Zhang: Beijing police! Everyone get down!
Several individuals are apprehended as others attempt to flee the building. Agents Zhang and Nagasu continued through the facility. They come upon a large cage located in the northern side of the facility. Numerous carts are located around it, and SCP-5962 is visible in the cage. It is wearing a collar attached to chains bolted to the floor. A cart is located underneath its head where food items are present. Entity does not acknowledge the presence of the two agents as they approached it.
Agent Zhang: What the fuck?
Agent Nagasu: So there really is a fat Ronald McDonald here. Just when you think you've seen everything, huh?
Agent Zhang: I was hoping for it to be bullshit this time. (To command) Command, we found the, uh, specimen. We are going to need a crane for extraction. It is big.
COMMAND: Got it. We will continue to secure the building. Extraction team is on the way.
Agent Nagasu: Hey, Zhang. Remember that bet earlier?
Agent Zhang: Yeah?
Agent Nagasu: Since there is a Ronald after all, you owe me five yen.
Agent Zhang: Don't get cocky. You will be getting it later.
SCP-5962 moves its head and begins to produce more food from out of its mouth into the cart.
Agent Zhang: Is that thing making burgers and fries?
Agent Nagasu: Yes. It is. (Picks up a wrapped cheeseburger from off of the floor) You don't think they've been using it for-
Agent Zhang: I hope not. That is an image I don't want to have in my head. I have never eaten at McDonald's and it makes me feel sick. Come on, we should go deal with securing the facility first. We will deal with this clown later. It is not going anywhere.
Agent Nagasu: Okay. (Drops the cheeseburger) I lost my appetite for a burger after this.
Agent Zhang: Seriously?
Agent Nagasu: I had a lousy breakfast.
[END LOG]

Addendum 03: Interview Log

Interviewers: Agents Zhang and Nagasu
Interviewed: Xiu Chen
Foreword: Mr. Chen was the facility manager of where SCP-5962 was being held, and was detained for questioning. The Beijing dialect of Mandarin was originally spoken.
[BEGIN LOG]
Mr. Chen: This is bullshit! I am running a legitimate business! I do not need this harassment.
Agent Zhang: Calm down, Chen. We have questions. The sooner you answer them you are free to go.
Mr. Chen: So I am not under arrest? Then let me go right now!
Agent Nagasu: Please be patient, Chen. Tell us about Ronald at the facility. What were you doing with it?
Mr. Chen: Ronald?
Agent Zhang: Yes, the clown. There is only one Ronald I know that would be at a McDonald's facility.
Mr. Chen: Oh, he helps us out.
Agent Nagasu: How so?
Mr. Chen: He gives food and frying oil for us to take.
Agent Nagasu: Take where? You're telling me that you sell the food that it makes? Why?
Mr. Chen: Of course, dumbass. Why not? By the way, can I get a cigarette?
Agent Zhang: No. Anyway, are you aware of what the food is made out of from that thing?
Mr. Chen: I know and don't care. Customers never complain about it, and neither do I. I eat a cheeseburger sometimes from it when I need a quick lunch.
Agent Nagasu: I think plenty of people would be upset if they knew where the food came from.
Mr. Chen: People would get over it. They are perfectly fine with the usual way their food is acquired. You ever been to a slaughterhouse? Ronald is not as bad as that.
Agent Zhang: (Sighs) Where did Ronald come from?
Mr. Chen: Not sure. I was told it came from a cow farm where it was born. The owner that found it decided to sell it to us. Now it is an unofficial employee of McDonald's. A profitable endeavor for a year.
Agent Nagasu: You've gotten it a year ago?
Mr. Chen: Around a year but yes.
Agent Zhang: Tell us more about the person that sold it.
Mr. Chen: Not much to tell you. I never met them. I heard a rumour that this isn't the first weird thing they sold off. Other than that I have nothing. Maybe ask Ronald himself. (Chuckles)
Agent Nagasu: Quick question. Why was Ronald in a cage? Is it dangerous in any way?
Mr. Chen: That is to prevent theft. He is actually harmless unless you currently work at Burger King. He would shoot a stream of hot coffee like a firehose at those that do. Other than that he pays no attention to anybody.
Agent Nagasu: Are you serious?
Mr. Chen: Definitely. Why would I make that up?
Agent Zhang: I don't see why anyone would want to steal it.
Mr. Chen: You never know. Ronald is a money maker as long as people continue to love burgers or fries.
Agent Nagasu: True, I suppose. Thank you for cooperating with us so far. We will get back to you later.
Agent Nagasu followed by Agent Zhang rise from their chairs.
Mr. Chen: Wait. Can we get Ronald back? I do not want to deal with pissed off executives.
Agent Zhang: No, we are keeping it with us.
Mr. Chen: Shit.
Agent Zhang: McDonald's is better off with their usual methods of making food.
Mr. Chen: You're sure about that? Have you actually seen it?
Agent Zhang: Unfortunately, yes.
[END LOG]

Footnotes
1. Not including the negative health effects from consuming fast food products.

« SCP-5961 | SCP-5962 | SCP-5963 »


Item #: SCP-5963
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5963 is contained within a replicated ShowBiz Pizza Place located on the northern periphery of Site-119's Anomalous Technology Containment Unit (ATCU). Foundation personnel, hereby referred to as "employees," are required to manage and operate this facility between the hours of 11:30 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. Other personnel, hereby referred to as "customers," are requested to periodically attend scheduled special events, occasions, or birthday parties within the new facility.
Inspections of SCP-5963-1 are to occur in Arcade Room every Tuesday and Thursday. In the event that any SCP-5963-1 instance is damaged or begins to emit any odor during operating hours, employees are required to repair and clean them as soon as possible. Employees may contact Senior Researcher Devin Collins for documentation, materials, or assistance concerning the regular inspection, cleaning, and maintenance of SCP-5963.
One D-Class personnel is granted access to SCP-5963-1 once per monthly basis. This is only to occur after the facility "closes" at 8:00 P.M. in order to minimize potential risks to other personnel. Researchers may continue physical or remote observations of these interactions.
Description: SCP-5963 refers to a series of anomalous events that manifested within a currently abandoned ShowBiz Pizza Place1, located in Marionette, Wisconsin. These anomalous events can occur throughout the entirety of the premises; however, these occurences are solely dependent on a series of six arcade units, hereby collectively referred to as SCP-5963-1, that were recovered from the room of the same name.2

Retrieved SCP-5963-1C instance recovered from ShowBiz Pizza Place in 1987.

Whenever SCP-5963-1 is in operation, a series of anomalous events can manifest during conventional playtime. These events are dictated by SCP-5963-(A-F).
SCP-5963-(A-F) is the collective designation given to six sapient entities that can manifest within any SCP-5963-1 instance. However, only one entity can appear between playthroughs. When active, SCP-5963-(A-F) can perform a series of physical and technical interactions with objects and players despite the limitations of its host SCP-5963-1 instance.3
Recovered documents indicates that all SCP-5963-1 instances were directly purchased in-bulk from Arcadia, which correlates to several graphics of the company logo that appear on the exterior of the arcade units. No other information could be gathered from these sources.

Addendum 5963.1 - Discovery:

MARIONETTE CHRONICLES

Local, Trustworthy, Reliable.

June 7th, 1987
PAGE 4 - Outdoor Sports Fest on June 14th
25¢ - NO REFUNDS

LOCAL RESTAURANT UNDER SCRUTINY?

SHOWBIZ PIZZA PLACE UNDER INVESTIGATION AFTER THE ABDUCTION OF SIX CHILDREN.

By Kassidy Kara

MARIONETTE, WISCONSIN - ShowBiz Pizza Place has temporarily closed after the abduction of six children: Christopher Holems, Emily Hunt, William Duncan, Harper Reed, Justin Reed, and Mathew Gardiner, all of whom have not been seen since early last month. Eyewitnesses present at the time of these abductions, which occurred roughly between May 1st through May 7th, all recall a strange figure who reportedly led these children to the property of ShowBiz Pizza Place, currently operated by Michael Warren of Marionette County. One anonymous witness stated that they saw a child "completely disappear into thin air." These claims remain unverified due to a malfunctioning security system around the premises and a lack of suspects.

"This is a disaster," says Raina Holems, the distraught mother of Christopher Holems. "It feels like he's been erased from the world. It's terrible, I've lost my home, my job, and now my son. I just don't know what to do anymore." Holems was not the only one to vocalize their worries. Pleading for his childrens return Marcus Reed has this to say: “Please, if you have our children, please! Bring them back. If you're listening, Justin and Harper, we love you. Please, come home.” No traces of these children have been found yet.

"We work very hard to maintain the safety and integrity of ShowBiz Pizza Place. To prevent further issues security will be updated and heavily monitored," says Michael Warren, current manager of ShowBiz Pizza Place, shortly after issuing a public statement on the matter (Page 6, "Security and ShowBiz, Warrens Statement").

Local authorities believe that a more thorough investigation of the restaurant may uncover the clues necessary to begin revealing key suspects. Unfortunately, no more information has been provided concerning the missing children. Authorities have reported that current investigations are halted due to unforeseen events. If you have any information on these missing children please contact…

Interview Log 5963.1

Interviewed: Michael Warren
Interviewer: Dr. Jackson Cohen
Foreword: Dr. Cohen has been directed to evaluate and question Manager Michael Warren in order to ascertain enough evidence to validate the Foundation's involvement and the likelihood of anomalous influences surrounding ShowBiz Pizza Place.

<Begin Log>
Dr. Cohen: (Dr. Cohen walks into the room, taking a seat across from Michael Warren) Evening, Mr. Warren. I'm with the MCPD. I'm sure you know why I'm here?
Michael Warren: Of course.
Dr. Cohen: All right then. (Cohen pauses, looking down at his clipboard) What is your affiliation with Arcadia? I noticed some of their company logos on a few of your arcade games.
Michael Warren: I used to work for them several years ago. The only thing I have left of theirs are those arcade units I purchased from their headquarters in Irving. That was… when was it? Almost 2 or 3 years back? They were for our Arcade room back there. (Michael points past Cohen's right shoulder.)
Dr. Cohen: Is that all? I couldn't help but notice that photo up there of you and Nolan Bushnell. (Cohen glances upwards.) Were you two close?
Michael Warren: Nolan? Yeah, he and I were close. He hired me a few spots down the corporate ladder at Arcadia, when it first started. (Michael pauses.) It was a weird place. Sometimes, even when I worked for them, we got to see innovation. Other times we were dealing with some, uh, interesting customers. What about him?
Dr. Cohen: Are you aware of his current whereabouts?
Michael Warren: You mean where he's at now? Not anymore. We got out of touch a few years before I left. I only just talked to him shortly before I started here. Why, is he in trouble or somethin'?
Dr. Cohen: Not that I'm aware of. But then again, it's not my job to know. I just ask the questions. (Cohen writes briefly.) Can you tell me what you do know about him? Nolan, I mean.
Michael Warren: Nothing you don't probably already know. When I spoke with him, he told me that he knew about Arcadia's situation, when they were suffering from a harsh decline. The company was teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and I think he wanted to help 'em out, so he asked me to start this franchise. Of course, I accepted his offer, only 'cause I was afraid of being put out of a job once they went under. Later he asked if I could purchase some of their units for this place. I guess he was trying to work out some deal between ShowBiz and Arcadia that would help them out with their money situation.
Dr. Cohen: I see. So what about those games back there?
Michael Warren: Those junk heaps? What about them?
Dr. Cohen: They seem like fairly new additions. Can you tell me about them?
Michael Warren: They're just normal games. We've had those since we opened, which didn't happen not too long ago. The opening, that is. Don't think they've ever been played before though.
Dr. Cohen: Are all of your machines from Arcadia? Or just those few back there?
Michael Warren: Just those ones.
Dr. Cohen: (Cohen scribbles on a notepad.) Interesting. And you said they were working well?
Michael Warren: Of course. The only hiccup I've had with 'em was when Nadia Patelle tried to clean them all off. She's our in-house employee, in charge of making the place look good. I guess she must've bumped into one a little too hard before we opened. It, uh, caused the screens to go a bit haywire. (He leans back in his chair.)
Dr. Cohen: That's not good. (Cohen pauses.) I'll have a few people come in and take those then. For investigation reasons, of course.
Michael Warren: (Michael momentarily grimaces before smiling.) I'm not quite sure why you would need them, but feel free. Although, you may have some trouble turning them on. The only place they seem to work at is here. Trust me, I've tried. But if you still need them, I have a few more units I can use as backups until you can safely return 'em. They're quite unique.
Dr. Cohen: I see. Well, in that case, we'll have to figure out something else. That's all the questions I had. Thank you again, Mr. Warren.
<End Log>

Closing Statement: Local authorities currently suspect Michael Warren as a prime perpetrator of the missing children.4 It should be further noted that due to the involvement of Arcadia technologies, the authorization of a recovery operation from the Foundation has been deemed appropriate to minimize the risk of anomalous influence.

Addendum 5963.2 - Exploration & Analysis:

Event N°: 5963-01
Anomalous Instance: SCP-5963-1C (Asteroids)
Personnel Involved: Dr. Jackson Cohen
Synopsis: Dr. Cohen, whilst investigating SCP-5963-1C, discovered that after gaining a score of approximately 2500, smaller asteroids slowly began to align themselves along the center of the screen. Closer inspection of this alignment revealed the message "STOP," which remained visible on-screen for a period lasting up to 2 minutes. Further gameplay revealed the manifestation of a new sprite, closely resembling Dr. Cohen's interactable "ship" and hereby designated as SCP-5963-C, that would continuously collide with objects (or asteroids) near the player. These collisions would end with a brief death animation, followed shortly by the sound of a loud, human-like scream that would last several seconds. Later inspections of SCP-5963-1C revealed that no audio file resembling the aforementioned scream has ever existed.
Prior to the experiments termination, Dr. Cohen reported hearing the phrase, "please come back" from SCP-5983-1A. He later stated that he was unsure of what he had heard, and assured personnel that he had likely not heard anything at all.

Event N°: 5963-02
Anomalous Instance: SCP-5963-1B (Missile Command)
Personnel Involved: D-199834, Dr. Jackson Cohen
Synopsis: Subject D-199834 was directed to interact with SCP-5963-1B for approximately 30 minutes. During this time, Dr. Cohen reported drastic behavioral altercations with some of the animatronic characters that were active within ShowBiz Pizza Place5, which included "several fits of apparent rage" and "random and incoherent chants of a seemingly Satanic background" per his original statement. This behavior abruptly ended after D-199834 stopped interacting with SCP-5963-1B.

Active on-screen instance of SCP-5963-B.

D-199834 also reported the presence of SCP-5963-B, which manifested as a large pixelated face that covered the majority of SCP-5963-1B's background. Whenever D-199834 successfully destroyed an incoming projectile, SCP-5963-B would begin to weep slowly, distorting its face. This was subsequently amplified until SCP-5963-B's face became entirely indiscernible. Once D-199834 failed at destroying an incoming projectile, however, SCP-5963-B would revert to its initial state before emitting a "laugh" at the subject. This remained until D-199834 was removed from the premises.

3 redundant logs have been removed.

Event N°: 5963-06
Anomalous Instance: SCP-5963-1E (Centipede)
Personnel Involved: D-573910, Dr. Ryan Phillips
Synopsis: During D-573910's playthrough, Dr. Phillips reported a series of strange malfunctions concerning a series of light fixtures above the vicinity of SCP-5963-1E. Further analysis shows that these fixtures were connected within close proximity to SCP-5963-1E itself.
Subject D-573910 was unable to detect SCP-5963-E during its playthrough. However, D-573910 did report a brief loss of control over his playable entity, in which it quickly flashed off the screen. Upon its return, D-573910 reported a drastic increase of difficulty, as well as expressing slight discomfort with the erratic behavior of the hostile non-playable characters (NPCs). The subject later stated to Dr. Phillips that the NPC's were "incredibly realistic, and they all shared the same crying faces." The experiment was later terminated by Dr. Phillips.

Event N°: 5963-07
Anomalous Instance: SCP-5963-1D (Lunar Lander)
Personnel Involved: Dr. Ryan Phillips
Synopsis: Dr. Phillips reported that, during the first level of SCP-5963-1D, the platform in which the player is supposed to land disappeared entirely, causing him to continuously fall downward. As this occurred, a pop-up window displaying the text "they constantly haunt me" appeared, despite SCP-5893-1D being unable to perform this task prior. The prompt remained on-screen for the duration of Dr. Phillips's playthrough.

4 redundant logs have been removed.

Event N°: 5963-12
Anomalous Instance: SCP-5963-1A (Pong)
Personnel Involved: Dr. Jackon Cohen, Dr. Ryan Phillips, Sr. Researcher Devin Collins
Synopsis: SCP-5963-A manifested as Player 2 after several minutes, gaining control of the right side of the screen. During brief moments, SCP-5963-1A would cease functionality. During this period, SCP-5963-A could be seen moving horizontally towards the left side of the screen. Once SCP-5963-1A became operational, SCP-5963-1 would revert back to its initial state, playing against Player 1 (Dr. Jackson Cohen) as intended. During the playthrough, Dr. Jackson commented on the fluidity and the increasing difficulty of playing against SCP-5963-A. The experiment was later terminated at Dr. Cohen's request.

Researcher's Note: The interactions between players and the SCP-5963-(A-F) instances have led me to believe that perhaps their intended purpose was primarily in overcoming the technological difficulties of artificial intelligence during the initial rise of mainstream interactive media. All though it seems that these experiments ultimately failed, it does appear that, in very few circumstances, Arcadia was somewhat successful after all. Why they chose to do this now, and their reason behind using ShowBiz Pizza as a front is still a mystery, however.

- Sr. Researcher Devin Collins

Addendum 5963.3 - Incident Event:

Opening Statement: Sr. Researcher Devin Collins reported that, during an experiment involving SCP-5963-1A (Pong) and one D-Class personnel, an interactable keyboard appeared on-screen. This keyboard was later followed by the message. "who are you. please stop [sic]," which was presumably sent by SCP-5963-A. During this period, Sr. Researcher Collins was successfully able to communicate with the anomaly, with logs of the event added below:

Message Sent: WHO ARE YOU

Response: we do not remember. forgotten.

Message Sent: HOW ARE YOU HERE

Response: lied. led away from home. pain.

Message Sent: WHO LED YOU

Response: a liar. do not trust.

Message Sent: EXPLAIN

Response: not man. dark. told us it was angel. haunts us.

Message Sent: WHAT HAUNTS YOU

Response we want to go home.

Message Sent: PLEASE RESPOND. WHAT HAUNTS YOU

Response: it says we chose this. we do not remember choosing. pain. pain. pain.

Message Sent: EXPLAIN

Response: it sees us. horns. evil smile. reminds us that we are gone.

Message Sent: WHAT IS IT

Response: No response recorded.

Message Sent: ARE YOU THERE

Response: it makes us suffer. it lies behind us.

Message Sent: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Response: we just want to go back home. please. no more pain.

Message Sent: WHAT PAIN. WHO CAUSED IT

Response: you did.

Closing Statement: Further communication attempts with SCP-5963-A have failed. After this event, SCP-5963-1A ceased functionality for several hours before rebooting entirely. More research may be required before Foundation personnel can fully analyze and evaluate the information provided by SCP-5963-A.

Footnotes
1. American restaurant chain which has since been rebranded as Chuck E. Cheese.
2. SCP-5963 does not appear to exhibit its anomalous attributes outside of licensed ShowBiz Pizza Place locations. Containment procedures have since been updated to accommodate for this.
3. Please refer to Addendum 5963.2 for more information.
4. At the time of writing, Warren's current location and status remains unknown.
5. Namely, "Billy Bob" and "Looney Bird."

« SCP-5962 | SCP-5963 | SCP-5964 »


close

Info

X

Check out more of my articles on my author page!

2/5965 LEVEL 2/5965
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5965

Keter

The White Cliffs of Dover, site of SCP-5965's original demise.

Special Containment Procedures: Any individuals with a personal connection to SCP-5965 are to be monitored by Foundation resources for a manifestation of SCP-5965. Upon manifestation, all witnessing parties are to be amnesticised, and the corpse disposed of according to standard biomaterial handling protocol.
In an attempt to reduce the occurrence of SCP-5965 manifestations, all close friends and family members of SCP-5965 are to receive grief counselling conducted by covert Foundation operatives. SCP-5965's surviving relatives are to be moved out of the family home they shared. The school where SCP-5965 worked is to be closed down.
Description: SCP-5965 is Hayden Morris, a 23 year old nursery assistant from Bristol, England. On 27/12/2013, whilst visiting Dover with friends, Morris fell from the clifftop on the coastline and died upon impact with the rocks below.
Since its death, SCP-5965 has manifested, alive, on multiple occasions in the presence of its former acquaintances. The point of manifestation occurs above the acquaintance; if indoors, it will be at the ceiling. SCP-5965 will then fall at significant speed while screaming, and impact an area in close proximity to the acquaintance and resulting in the instance's death. Injuries sustained are inconsistent with those of SCP-5965's original death.
The following is an abridged log of SCP-5965 incidents:

Date
Description

05/01/2014

Incident occurred at the residence of Henry Carter, a friend of SCP-5965 who was not present at the occurrence of its initial death. Carter was home alone, watching television in his living room. SCP-5965 manifested within the room and impacted the area between Carter and the television.
Carter phoned law enforcement, evidently distressed, believing that SCP-5965's body had been exhumed and taped to the room's ceiling by an unknown party. Of particular concern for Carter was how long SCP-5965 had been present in the house, and how he had not noticed before it fell. Due to the nature of the details recounted, Foundation personnel were dispatched to investigate.
In an attempt to rationalise the manifestation, Carter vocalised a worry that he himself had exhumed the body, and brought it back to his flat after a night of heavy alcohol consumption alone.1 Upon Foundation arrival, all involved parties were amnesticised, and SCP-5965's corpse was disposed of.

17/01/2014

Incident occurred at Saint Helier's Primary School, SCP-5965's former place of work. Instance materialised on the ceiling of classroom 5A, whilst a class SCP-5965 formerly taught was present.
Due to the students being too young2 for safe use of amnestics, their recollections of the incident were attributed to a mass psychogenic event, resulting from them being informed of SCP-5965's death and manner of passing.

06/05/2018

Incident occurred at a supermarket where Annalise Morris, SCP-5965's mother, was shopping. Morris went to pick up goods from a chest freezer. SCP-5965 manifested above her, and fell, screaming, into the chest freezer. SCP-5965 stayed alive for several minutes after impact, calling out for his mother.
Believing the incident to be a hallucination, Morris attempted to continue shopping, but became overcome with emotion several minutes later.

Addendum 5965.1

Addendum 5965.1

Grace Asare, Session 004 Transcript

Foreword: As part of investigations into SCP-5965, close acquaintances and family members were offered counselling sessions, which were run by undercover Foundation psychiatrists. Grace Asare, a close friend of SCP-5965 who was present on the cliffs at the time of death, underwent several such sessions with Dr. Theodore Lewis. The below is a transcription of Asare's fourth session.3

Dr. Lewis: Hi Grace, please come in.
(Grace Asare walks into Dr. Lewis's office, and takes a seat on the settee. He follows her in, and sits down in a chair, facing her.)
Dr. Lewis: How have you been since we last spoke?
Asare: Alright. I've been alright. I mean… it's been a few weeks. Life should be getting back to normal, right? And it sort of is. Which I hate.
When I told work about what happened, my manager called me up and opened with "I'm not quite sure what to say here, Grace, I've not been in this situation before". Arsehole couldn't resist making it about him. When I went back after the time off, everyone tiptoed around me. Treated me like I was made of glass.
I'm glad that's stopped, it wound me up to no end. Now life's the way it was before, except it's not? I'll be going through my day, focusing on what I need to get done and bam. I remember, and it hits me all over again. And it's somehow worse. Right after it was all I could think about, day and night, constantly on my mind. But now, the brief relief that comes from forgetting is cancelled out by the fresh pain that when I see Hay— (Grace chokes.) sorry, see him again.
Dr. Lewis: Can you see him in the room now?
Asare: What? I — no… it's not like that. I don't physically see him, I see him up here. (Grace taps her head.)
It's a mix of things. It's memories — things we did, jokes he told me. It's the photo he used for his apps, that would pop up when I got a message. It's fantasies. Imagining things in the future as if he were still around.
Every now and then, the day itself will replay in vivid technicolour and slow motion. I'll go over what happened in my head. Sometimes I'll consider what I could and should have done to stop it. Sometimes I'll just replay the event. Process it. Focus on different things. I've been returning to the sound of it recently, more and more…
Dr. Lewis: What about the sound do you return to?
Asare: Well… there wasn't any. As he… sorry (she takes a moment to compose herself.) as he went over he… he umm… (she pauses.) he made a gasping noise. And that was it. Until the thud.
You'd think someone would scream. Shout or wail. But…nothing.
Dr. Lewis: And how does it leave you feeling when you see him?
Asare: Umm… well, that's a pretty big question. I'm sad, obviously I'm bloody sad, but by this point I've been sad for so long I feel tired and drained. I'm also confused.
I… I had another friend die when I was a teenager. It must be nearly ten years ago now. And that was awful, but it… how do I put this… it made sense? Do you understand what I mean?
Dr. Lewis: I think so, would you like to explain further?
Asare: It was really sad, but she had been sick for a long time. Longer than I had known her. So that, that made sense. But Hayden… it's so random. It doesn't make sense.
And… and I think that's why, despite everything, the main idea, the big emotion I'm feeling, is anger.
I'm angry. I'm angry at myself for suggesting the trip to Dover. I'm angry at Melanie for trying to use this situation to get back in contact. I'm angry at my mum for telling me "it'll get better". I'm angry at David for mentioning taking a photo by the edge. I'm angry at my manager. I'm angry at whoever manages those damned cliffs for not putting up fencing.
(Grace begins to cry.)
But most of all, I'm angry at Hayden. I am so, so angry that he was so fucking stupid to piss about on a cliff top. I'm angry he didn't have any bloody common sense. I'm angry he wasn't more careful. I'm angry he's left me alone.
I want to scream at him, I want to punch him and ask why he'd leave me to face everything without him. This wasn't the way things were meant to be. This shouldn't be the end of his story, he had so much potential. This shouldn't be the end of our story. I want to see him again one last time and rage at him, tell him what an idiot he is… but also tell him what he meant to me. And hear his voice.
But he's gone.
So I don't see how I can.

Afterword: To date, neither Asare, nor the other two friends present on the day of SCP-5965's death, have manifested an SCP-5965 incident.

Footnotes
1. SCP-5965's original corpse has remained present within its coffin since burial.
2. Between 5 and 6 years of age.
3. All sessions were covertly recorded. Transcripts available on request.

« SCP-5964 | SCP-5965 | SCP-5966 »


Item #: SCP-5966
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5966 is stored in a standard humanoid containment chamber located at Site-22 and kept under guard by at least two members of security. To prevent SCP-5966 from experiencing bodily harm, it is provided with fresh painting supplies at the beginning of each week.
Description: SCP-5966 is a painter, originally known as "Vedad Gudelj", with a series of anomalous bodily and mental modifications intended to incentivise a mass creation of artwork.
The most prominent and noticeable alteration to SCP-5966's body is its mouth, which has been fused shut. Internal analysis has shown that the vocal cords of SCP-5966 have also been removed. Although these alterations by themselves would render SCP-5966 incapable of verbal communication, attempts at interviews and written communication suggest that SCP-5966 is no longer capable of expressing or understanding any form of language at all.
Testing also suggests that SCP-5966 no longer requires any form of sustenance or sleep, although it will curl up in the corner of its containment chamber when inactive.
SCP-5966 will attempt to create one piece of artwork a week, using whatever materials are available to it, and will work towards this goal without rest. Several seconds after the piece of art is completed, it will completely disappear. Attempts to determine what becomes of these articles via the use of tracking beacons have thus far been unsuccessful.
Shortly following the disappearance of the artwork, SCP-5966 will be subject to further bodily alterations, the nature of which are dependent on subjective qualities present within the artwork produced. The specific nature of these properties are not completely certain, but appear to be focused around the appeal of the artwork to a large audience. In cases where these qualities are present, these bodily modifications will be beneficial to SCP-5966, while harmful alterations will result if the artwork does not possess said qualities. These secondary modifications are temporary, and will disappear from SCP-5966's body at the beginning of the next week.
SCP-5966 was recovered on 21/01/2019 from its apartment in Detroit, Michigan by authorities after its landlord complained of a foul smell emanating from the residence. Initially, said landlord was intending to evict SCP-5966 following numerous missed rent payments, but discovered SCP-5966 in its current condition upon entering the apartment. After SCP-5966 was taken to a nearby hospital and reports of its bodily alterations began circulating, the Foundation intervened and brought SCP-5966 into containment.

Painting Log 5966-1
The following log is a record of paintings produced by SCP-5966, as well as the resulting bodily modifications.

Painting Content
Result

Landscape painting of a tree in a field.
SCP-5966's mouth temporarily unfused, allowing it to breathe more comfortably.

Portrait of SCP-5966, prior to bodily alterations.
SCP-5966 loses the use of its legs.

Painting of the Empire State Building.
SCP-5966 falls asleep and remains in this state for the remainder of the week. Unclear if this is a positive or negative modification.

Painting of a car exploding. A man wearing a trench-coat is walking away from the explosion, smoking a cigar and holding a rocket launcher.
A functional mouth and tongue develop in the left hand of SCP-5966. Although it is incapable of fully consuming food, SCP-5966 is capable of using the tongue to taste it.

Portrait of SCP-5966, prior to bodily alterations.
SCP-5966 clutches its head and rolls around the containment chamber in pain. SCP-5966 spends the remainder of the week hiding in the corner, holding its head.

Portrait of SCP-5966, prior to bodily alterations.
SCP-5966's eyeballs visibly begin to boil, with smoke billowing out of the sockets. SCP-5966 spends the remainder of the week with its hands covering its eyes.

Indistinct portrait, believed to be of SCP-5966 prior to bodily alterations.
SCP-5966's mouth becomes unfused and it coughs up a human finger wearing a ring. The owner of this finger is unclear, as SCP-5966 refuses to surrender it to security personnel when prompted and it disappears several minutes later.

Painting of three scantily clad women, sitting on and surrounding a red sports car.
A tattoo of an unidentified woman's face appears on SCP-5966's left arm. SCP-5966 spends the remainder of the week stroking and observing it.

Painting of three scantily clad women, sitting on and surrounding a red sports car.
See previous entry.

Addendum 5966-1 (Recovered Materials)
During a search of SCP-5966's apartment following initial recovery, the following document was found. Content and context suggests it is a simple written contract of employment which was sent to SCP-5966. SCP-5966's signature is present at the bottom of the contract.

The following agreement is between Vedad Gudelj, hereafter referred to as the Artist, and their employer, hereafter referred to as the Patron.
The Artist hereby pledges to create at least one product of acceptable quality per week, and the Patron hereby pledges to provide proportionate payment for said product. As previously agreed, all proceeds from the product will be split evenly between the Artist and the Patron, with the half provided to the Artist coming in the form of good fortune.
The Patron reserves the right to enact demerits or changes to the Artist's circumstances in order to ensure their investment is returned.
Employment shall begin immediately following the signing of this contract, and will continue until specifically terminated. The Artist may terminate his employment at any time he chooses through direct verbal or written notice. In order to prevent fraudulent termination of this contract, notice through an intermediary will not be accepted.
Westhead Media hopes to enjoy working with you!

« SCP-5965 | SCP-5966 | SCP-5967 »


close

Info

X

SCP-5967 — What's your favorite idea? by Marceline_Raynes
More by Author

95.39%
(+124)
4.61%
(-6)

-%
(+0)
-%
(-0)

Special Containment Procedures: Contained instances of SCP-5967 are to remain in Site-83's cryogenic storage room, and monitoring Foundation personnel must wear noise-canceling headphones. Psychological assessments are required for personnel assigned to SCP-5967 twice per week. Testing with SCP-5967 is strictly forbidden.
Lyndhurst, New Jersey has been converted into Provisional Site-83, and Foundation agents are to monitor the town for evidence of continued anomalous activity. Salem Steros and Caesar Winters is considered a Person of Interest related to SCP-5967 and is suspected to be involved in the continued creation of SCP-5967 instances across Bergen County. The "Reality Cinq'' radio program is to be treated with standard media suppression tactics, should it begin broadcasting again.
The apprehension of Caesar Winters is considered a Rho-Level priority. Salem Steros is currently detained in a reality-sunk containment suite at Site-83, with three Scranton Reality Anchors active at all times.
Description: Instances of SCP-5967 refer to five-meter-tall pillars composed of currently unidentified musculature and eyeball-like organs originating in Lyndhurst, New Jersey. There are currently seven contained instances. DNA analysis of SCP-5967 has proven ineffective in identifying the source of its components, although the eyeball-like organs visually resemble those of non-anomalous humans. SCP-5967 is capable of speech, despite lacking vocal organs, and consistently intones phrases indicative of Fifthist ideology. Individuals who are within the auditory range of SCP-5967 without wearing auditory protective gear will be forced to adhere to Fifthist ideologies.
Members of a group known as "The Commune", operating out of the local Elks Lodge1, were able to radically influence the Hume levels of Lyndhurst and its surrounding towns over the course of three days, generating substantial amounts of latent reality. SCP-5967 allowed The Commune's leadership figures, Caesar Winters and Salem Steros, to establish and maintain control over the minds of local residents.
Affected individuals were susceptible to remote influence by Winters or Steros. Established methods of conceptual manipulation, amnestic treatment, and hypnotherapy have proven ineffective in relinquishing control of the affected subject from either party. The maximum range of influence, if there is one, has yet to be determined.

Cassette tapes found in the ruins of the Lyndhurst Police Station

Close

On December 3rd, 2017, undercover agents embedded in the Lyndhurst police force reported an instance of SCP-5967 manifested in the center of the Lyndhurst Police Station. Containment teams were dispatched in an effort to mitigate civilian injuries and secure the instance. Surviving witnesses were amnesticized, and SCP-5967 was contained.
Due to the abrupt cessation of The Reality Cinq's productions, it was hypothesized that Steros and Winters were operating from within the police station using anomalous methods to conceal themselves, their equipment, and even their studio.
The following cassette tapes were found during the reconstruction of the police station.

Air date: June 3rd, 2018
Winters: Goooooood evening everybody! Welcome back to…
Steros: The Reality Cinq, the show where your gorgeous hosts, Salem…
Winters: And Caesar-
Steros: Talk to you about things that matter! Today we'll be addressing the recent decline in Fifthist activity across America.
Winters: Like, what is the deal with that folks? Having a hard time finding the Truth? Don't worry, we've all been there before, but that's no reason to give up! Get on out there and pray to our many-armed goddess. Let Her know that you've got Her back, so She can get yours.
Steros: And don't be afraid to get your hands dirty while you're digging deep inside yourself for the Truth. Lord knows we aren't.
Winters: In other news, some memelord on Reddit is posting hateful shit once again. We'll find you, BeneficialChemistry5, and when we do you'll wish you joined us when you had the chance.
Steros: Ain't that the truth?
NON-ANOMALOUS TOPICS REDACTED FOR BREVITY

Aire Date: June 18th, 2018
Winters: Good evening and welcome back to our show…
Steros: Reality Cinq!
Winters: Today we're going to be screwing with the men in shadows.
Steros: Those government [bleep]-wipes are gonna get it today! We're doing this for you, the little people, who shouldn't have to live in fear of the Foundation!
( Dial Tone for several seconds. )
Junior Researcher Jones: How did you get this number? This is a secure channel. Identify yourself.
Steros: Herman Fuller says what?
J.R. Jones: What?
( A laugh track is played. Steros and Winters are laughing as well. )
Winters: Gotcha again, shadow man!
J.R. Jones: ( Laughing ) That was funny.
Salem: And here I thought none of you guys had a sense of humor.
J.R. Jones: Come on, man, you of all people should know better than to judge a book by its cover.
Salem: Tell me, Mr. Jones, are you a Fifthist?
J.R. Jones: No sir, I can't say I am. Are you?
Winters: We are indeed. And we want to save you, and all our listeners, from this place by giving you the Truth!
J.R. Jones: The Truth? What's that?
Winters: That sweet sweet infinite knowledge that She can bestow upon you.
Steros: Amen brother.
Winters: She told us about the Truth, and now we share it with you!
J.R. Jones: And who is She?
( The pair groan. A "whacking" sound effect is heard. )
Steros: This guy.
Winters: You been canoodling with the Sarkics in the abattoir lately?
J.R. Jones: What? I- no. I'm not familiar with-
Steros: Our guiding light? Our creator? The very thoughts that should be infiltrating your head right now?
J.R. Jones: Is that She? The Fifthist concepts… The voices?
Winters: That's just the symptoms, Mr. Jones. She is something much more.
J.R. Jones: But what if-
Steros: There are no "what ifs" when it comes to the Truth, Jones. You're either with us…
Winters: Or you're a Beacon.
Steros: And that's the truth.

Air Date: August 18th, 2018
Winters: We've got lucky caller number 15 on the line here!
( An unknown voice is heard shouting on the line. )
Winters: What's your name, caller 15?
Unknown: Wendy Ricefield!
Steros: And where are you from, Wendy?
Ricefield: Wallington, New Jersey!
Steros: Tell me Wendy, are you Fifthist?
Ricefield: Of course, Salem!
Steros: Do you promise to uphold the Truth against all odds?
Ricefield: I do! Oh my god, have I won?
Winters: You have, Wendy! Congratulations! Now, you've been listening to the rules of the game, haven't you?
Ricefield: Yes sir! My phone's on speaker, and I've got the candles and sigils set up and everything already. I'm ready to learn the Truth!
Steros: Excellent.
( There are wet, squelching sounds coming from within the studio. Ricefield is elated at something, as she continues exclaiming positive remarks for the duration of the call. )
Ricefield: Wait, something's not-
Winters: Do you trust us, Wendy?
Ricefield: I do, just… what the fu-
Steros: Woah there, sister! You can't go dropping F-bombs on the radio just because you're excited. Please, let's keep it calm.
Ricefield: ( Shaky chuckle ) I just wasn't expecting it to be… this!
Winters: God works in mysterious ways, Wendy.
( Splintering sounds are heard from Ricefield's line. She attempts to hang up but is unable, as a loud buzzing sound is heard when she presumably pushes the "end call" button. Ricefield is heard opening a door and screaming for help. There is a crashing noise as Ricefield is dragged back inside of her residence. A barely audible noise similar to growling is heard, as are Ricefield's panicked breathing. )
( Squelching noises and Ricefield's screams are heard before abruptly stopping. The line terminates. )
Steros: That's the Truth, ladies and gentlemen!

Interview with Steros Salem

Close File

Image of Steros' brain following apprehension

On August 23rd, 2018, Salem Steros, as well as several additional members of The Commune were apprehended following the manifestation of an SCP-5967 instance in Wallington, New Jersey. Steros and his followers were discovered holding hands in a circular pattern around SCP-5967. Foundation agents observed the members of the Commune approach the SCP-5967 instance, kneel down and lick SCP-5967 several times before returning to their location within the circle.
Steros was taken to Site-83 for questioning, while the other members of The Commune were taken to Site-9, where they were kept in isolation containment cells.
At Site-83, Steros frequently complained of headaches and demanded to be examined. His requests were initially denied. Steros, in turn, elected to harm himself by repeatedly running into a wall until he lost consciousness. A medical team was alerted to this behavior and, after treating his wounds, performed an MRI before he regained consciousness, discovering the source of Steros' discomfort. (See image)
Junior Researcher Umar Hadid volunteered to interview Steros as he had previous experiences with the latter.

Interviewer: Junior Researcher Umar Hadid
Interviewed: Salem Steros
<Begin Log>
J.R. Hadid: Please state your name.
Steros: Salem Steros, co-host of The Reality Cinq, and local star.
J.R. Hadid: Thank you.
Steros: So you're Mr. Jones, from one of our summer shows, right? Sometime in August I think?
J.R. Hadid: You're thinking of Researcher Jones, but we aren't here to talk about m-
Steros: Nonsense. Look man, I know you, you know me. Why don't you just let me outta here so I can get back out there with Caesar and spread the Truth huh? Isn't saving people what your Foundation is about?
J.R. Hadid: I'm still not quite sure who or what She is.
( Steros sighs. He puts his fingers on his temples and rubs them in a circular motion. )
J.R. Hadid: I-I'm sorry. Look, if you could just, explain a bit clearer what you-
Steros: Listen here, fuckstick. I'm gonna tell you this once. Once! She is a goddess, one that is actively trying to fuck us. And you an' me? We are not ready for that. No one on Earth is.
J.R. Hadid: Why?
Steros: Because that's Her thing, Jones. Hadid, whatever the fuck.
J.R. Hadid: You and Caesar have been performing anomalous rituals for well over-
Steros: Look, if I got up and murdered you to death right now, it was because She willed it. I'm trying to save people, what about you?
J.R. Hadid: I, um… I understand.
( Steros scoffs. )
Steros: You think you have any clue what the fuck I'm going through, shadow man? The beacons, like that girl Wendy or whatever the hell, they're like a GPS signal for Her. And if- no, when She gets here and we can't see Her, well, that's just bad news bears for everyone.
J.R. Hadid: How would seeing this entity be good for anyone?
Steros: Loyalty. I mean, think about it. Who in their right mind would lick a pillar made of meat and bones for fun?
J.R. Hadid: I don't think anyone would. B-but how did you figure this out?
Steros: Me and Caesar we were just stargazing in the meadowlands after a show one day. Was nice to get away from the city every once and a while and just… take in the view. We did that sometimes, just lay back and chill like we were kids again. Then we heard Her voice for the first time and She told us about the Truth. Said that She wanted to come home, but that the Way was broken so She needed our help.
J.R. Hadid: You and Caesar became Fifthists after that?
Steros: After we learned the Truth we knew that something had to be done. But you can't make a cake without breaking a few eggs.
J.R. Hadid: That's not the-
Steros: Would you rather eat a cake or an omelet, shadow man?
J.R. Hadid: A cake I guess.
( Steros nods. )
Steros: We'll all be eggs in Her massive cake. But maybe, maybe some of us will get to eat it too.
J.R. Hadid: I'd hardly call turning people into meat pillars saving them.
Steros: ( Laughing ) I don't expect you to understand. You can't see things like we do. Caesar's doing the lord's work, and you'll never find him.
J.R. Hadid: I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.
Steros: Oh?
J.R. Hadid: We've received reports of SCP-5967 manifestations in the area. Agents have already been dispatched to stop Caesar. He'll be here within the week.
Steros: We'll see.

The Pursuit of Caesar Winters

Close

From February 14th, 2020, to February 16th, 2020, there were eighteen additional manifestations of SCP-5967 across Bergen County, New Jersey. Similar reports from undercover Foundation agents county-wide confirmed that Caesar Winters was responsible for the creation of the instances.
MTF Lambda-5 encountered Winters in the meadowlands, a remote field located in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The following footage was pieced together from the participating agents.

Begin Footage
L5-Alpha: Target in sight, moving in.
( Alpha signals to Beta and Gamma, who form a loose circle surrounding Winters and his group. They are apparently unnoticed, as the group is focused on the SCP-5967 instance. )
Beta: Got Winters in my sights.
Gamma: On your orders, Captain.
Alpha: Hold your fire.
( Winters begins gesticulating at SCP-5967, forming wide circles with his arms. The ocular organs on SCP-5967 follow the motion of Winters' arms before abruptly snapping in the direction of Alpha. )
Winters: The Lord's work is never easy is it?
Alpha: Caesar Winters, stop what you're doing and put your hands on your head.
( Winters chuckles. The other individuals surrounding SCP-5967, presumed members of The Commune, share a monotone, synchronous laugh. )
Winters: Salem was always concerned with doing the right thing. But it's not that simple.
Alpha: This is your last chance, Winters.
Winters: We lick the beacons. Then eyes grow and fester, wriggling around in our brain meat, flooding us with forbidden insight. Why?
Gamma: Ma'am?
Winters: Our eyes let us see the Truth, and the Truth is that She doesn't care if we live or die.
( Alpha signals to Delta, who fires a shot into Winters' head. Winters falls instantly. A member of the group begins to violently convulse before bending over and vomiting eyes. A tear forms at the base of their neck. From the wound, the face of Caesar Winters appears. After several seconds, the original head is detached and is replaced by that of Winters. )
Winters: I'm not dying until I am goddamn ready. When She comes and fucks our planet, I'll be behind the camera filming the whole thing.
Beta: Ma'am!
Alpha: Open fire!
( MTF Lambda-5 fires upon The Commune for fifteen seconds, resulting in the termination of everyone present. Alpha approaches the SCP-5967 instance and prepares to contact the containment team but she stops. )
Alpha: Do you hear that?
Beta: I don't hear anything, ma'am. Must be a cognitohazard from SCP-5967.
Alpha: No, this isn't… I know what a cognitohazard feels like. This is different. You don't hear that?
Gamma: Watch out, we've still got activity!
( The bodies of The Commune begin convulsing before levitating by the necks. Alpha backs away, joined by Beta and Gamma. They have their rifles trained on the floating corpses. )
( The chest cavity of Winters bulges, as if something were trapped underneath. Moments later it bursts, spraying viscera and eyeballs on all three members of MTF Lambda-5. The other corpses fold in on themselves until they are in the fetal position. Crunching sounds are heard as bones snap from the pressure. Their skin sloughs off, revealing muscle and sinew embedded with eyes that rotate in place sporadically. )
Alpha: I can't. They're still people.
Beta & Gamma: Ma'am!
( Alpha shakes her head, cracking her neck several times. She drops her gun and falls to her knees. Beta fires upon the corpses while Gamma approaches Alpha and pulls her away. Alpha resists and breaks free of Gamma's grip. )
Alpha: It's Her. She is lost deep in the cosmos and is angry with us for not helping Her find Her way back. She will kill us all, lest we line our brains and see Her for who She truly is!
( Alpha sprints toward SCP-5967 and licks it. The corpses compress further, resembling tightly formed spheres composed of muscle mass and eyeballs now. Caesar Winters' body levitates into SCP-5967 and melts away. The floating corpses accelerate toward Beta and Gamma at high speed. )
Gamma: Oh fuck!
( Gamma is able to successfully avoid several corpses by rolling. Beta, however, is struck multiple times. Gamma rises to her feet. There is a large crater filled with blood where Beta was previously standing. Gamma aims her gun at the floating corpses. )
Alpha: Don't you dare, soldier. That's an order!
Gamma: Ma'am, you've been compromised. The containment team is on their way to extract us, but I am not dying here.
Alpha: Come, my friend. Look.
( Gamma looks at Alpha, who has ceased licking SCP-5967. As Alpha turns to face Gamma, her eyes roll into the back of her head. She cocks her head to the side and smiles. The floating corpses levitate into SCP-5967 and disintegrate. )
Alpha: Don't you hear Her voice? She is angry. But I can save you. I can save us. Let me show you.
( Alpha runs at Gamma with arms outstretched. Gamma shouts, but is ignored. Using a nearby rock, Alpha knocks Gamma's helmet off. She holds open Gamma's eyelids and licks her eyeball. Gamma screams. Alpha looks to the sky. )
Alpha: I can see you! I can see everything now!
<End Log>

The Post-Containment Incident

Close Report

After failing to apprehend Caesar Winters, a containment team was dispatched following Gamma's call. The team was able to secure SCP-5967, Alpha, and Gamma. Gamma was treated at Site 83's medical ward before being awarded a Silver Lion badge and a two-week vacation.
Alpha was psychologically screened upon her return to Site-83. After a two week period without any anomalous activity or hostile thoughts from Alpha, she was cleared for an interview with Junior Researcher Umar Hadid. The following interview has been documented below.

Interviewer: Junior Researcher Umar Hadid
Interviewed: MTF Lambda-5 Alpha
<Begin Log>
J.R. Hadid: State your name for the record, Sandy.
Alpha: You're supposed to let me say my name first.
J.R. Hadid: I'm sorry, I'm still pretty bad at this. ( He laughs ) I don't even know why Chin's cleared me for this interview.
Alpha: Casandra Dankofski, and you discovered the anomaly. Seems only fair to me.
( Hadid chuckles, then clears his throat. )
J.R. Hadid: How have you been feeling lately?
Alpha: Like I got my fucking mind flayed again, Umar. It hasn't been easy. It's like, there's this voice in the back of my head all the time now, rambling on about the Truth and eyeballs and Fifthism and it's just fucked.
J.R. Hadid: Have the amnestics been helping?
Alpha: No, they haven't. I still remember everything, including what I did to Sato. Poor girl. Can't even imagine what I'd do if my captain held me down and licked my eyeballs.
J.R. Hadid: ( Scratching his neck ) Yeah, neither can I.
Alpha: They're not going to let me command again, are they?
J.R. Hadid: I've heard talk, but I don't think so Sandy. I'm sorry.
Alpha: Figures.
( Alpha begins coughing. )
J.R. Hadid: Are you okay?
Alpha: Yeah. Just allergies. Can you um, just turn that off?
J.R. Hadid: Turn what off?
Overhead speaker: And we've got lucky caller Number 15 on the line again!
Alpha: That voice. It's Winters.
J.R. Hadid: What are you talking about, Sandy?
Alpha: The overhead speaker. Someone's hacked into the system!
J.R. Hadid: Uhh… Can we get secur-
( Alpha rises and turns her back to J.R. Hadid. She scratches her head and continues coughing. )
Alpha: No, Umar, we won't, we can't. I, look. We're still in danger, we still-
( Suddenly, Alpha vomits an eyeball into her hands. She turns and looks at J.R. Hadid, who is disturbed. J.R. Hadid attempts to contact medical personnel, but is unable to due to a malfunction in the landline. )
J.R. Hadid: What in the fuck?
Alpha: Tell me, Hadid, are you a Fifthist now? Are you ready to see the Truth?
( J.R. Hadid exits the room, sealing it behind him. Alpha attempts to break through the glass but is unable to. )
( After several failed attempts, Alpha paces in circles in the center of the room. She draws several sigils of unknown origin on the walls and floor. She then proceeds to light a candle through anomalous means. )
J.R. Hadid: Security! Security! Someone fucking help me!
Alpha: Here's the Truth, Mr. Hadid.
( There is a bright flash of light from the sigils. An unknown, quadrupedal entity emerges from the floor and attacks Alpha. The entity and Alpha merge once contact is established. Alpha is no longer distinguishable as her body contorts into a mass of flesh, muscle, and eyes. The mass extends upward until it reaches a height of approximately seven meters. )

Footnotes
1. The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE; also often known as the Elks Lodge or simply The Elks) is an American fraternal order founded in 1868, originally as a social club in New York City.

« SCP-5966 | SCP-5967 | SCP-5968 »


Item #: SCP-5968
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The area around SCP-5968 manifestations is to be cleared in a square kilometer zone and a wire fence is to be erected around the premises until the instance dematerializes.
Description: SCP-5968 is an extraterrestrial, interdimensional restaurant that manifests within marketplace centers going by the name "Starlite Diner". SCP-5968 begins to manifest with advertisements reading “Have a stellar meal at the Starlight Diner. ████ Starseed way.”, hereby designated as SCP-5968-1. These advertisements originate by growing through the cracks of sidewalks, roads and brick walls and appear to be biological in makeup with the texture of copy paper. Once fully formed SCP-5968 will appear at the address of ████ Starseed Way.
The interior of SCP-5968 is painted a washed beige on all walls, with a popcorn ceiling lit by fluorescent lights and a black and white checkered tile floor. Seating in SCP-5968 is provided by red and yellow wooden tables surrounded on their sides with cushion booths. The dimensions of the building change constantly but usually fall between 5m-15m wide and 20m-170m long, with a constant height of 3.5m, SCP-5968 is always a hallway, possessing no kitchen or bathrooms, only a door at the end of the hallway with a plaque reading "Manager" in gold lettering. SCP-5968 is populated with humanoid entities, hereby designated SCP-5968-2, roughly two (2) meters tall with an absence of facial features with the exception of a painted-on smile. These entities are covered in dry, heavily dimpled skin and wear neon yellow jumpsuits that resemble nylon in material. In place of hands SCP-5968-2 instances possess large fleshy clam like appendages that regurgitate ordered items from SCP-5968's menu. SCP-5968's menu items range from regular items to the extraterrestrial and anomalous and change daily; said items do not have prices however tips are happily accepted in the form of solid matter. The menu appears in the reader's native tongue and in Braille for blind customers.
Patrons of SCP-5968, hereby designated SCP-5968-3, include a variety of extraterrestrial and extra-dimensional creatures, many able to understand most human languages and none hostile.
SCP-5968's menu:12/19/████

Item Name
Description
Effect Upon Consumption

Cuban Sandwich
Item made in the stack order from bottom to top of: grilled Cuban bread, roasted pork, Swiss cheese, three (3) dill pickle chips and a dollop of honey mustard.
D-33231 felt full.

Olokvidashi Flank
Item tested near identical in genetic makeup to the Homo denisovan species of early human. The sample is that of an infant Denisovan leg slow-cooked and dressed with Asian black bean sauce.
D-33231 reportedly enjoyed the food remarking, “It tastes like chicken”.

Solok's Faou
Subject served a plate of opaque white gelatinous cubes, weighing in at exactly one (1) kg.
After three (3) bites D-33231's hair turned a shade of bright blue and they gained a set of pyrokinetic abilities lasting approximately sixteen (16) minutes, after which D-33231 passed out and woke up speaking an unknown click-based language.

Fairy Dust
Subject served two (2) grams of a white powder, a direct match for C17H21NO4 or crack cocaine.
D-17776 jumped on a diner table, ran up to an SCP-5258-2 instance, kissed the entity on its smile, announced “No time to play, Johnny █████████ is a business boy!”, then fainted.

Mango
Item was a mango of the Alphonso variety.
D-61222 enjoyed the sweet treat.

Dynomite Lionfish
Subject served a fried lionfish filet glazed in Dynomite sauce.
D-61222 remarked on the sweet, filling nature of the filet. Fifteen (15) minutes after consumption D-61222 exploded, causing interior damage to his holding cell. Traces of uranium and plutonium were found post-analysis in D-61222's blood, leading researchers to believe the dish was a prepared instance of the SCP-5632 subspecies of lionfish.

Grilled Latabros Breast from Tau Ceti f
Subject served a portion of meat in a sirloin cut. The meat is dark blue in color and secretes a black sweat. The sample appeared biological and carbon-based however possessed no DNA.
D-001238 described the meat as tasting like mud and pepper and likened its texture to that of a soggy wood block. Upon trying to separate the meat into chunks D-001238 found a ticket with writing in an unknown script similar to ancient Sumerian. D-001238 picked up the ticket and disappeared in a flash of bright yellow light.

Select Interaction Logs with SCP-5968-3 Instances

+ LOG: SCP-5968-3-θ

- LOG: SCP-5968-3-θ

Instance: SCP-5968-3-θ
Description: SCP-5968-3-θ is a ball of heptagons made of solid bars of photons. The being ranges from 0.3 to 1.8 meters in circumference and ingests the pigment food ordered from SCP-5968-2 instances by beaming a ray of light at the item until it appears completely white.
Interaction Account: SCP-5968-3-θ appears to recognize speech however only responds by rhythmic fluctuations in its luminosity. D-32320 flashed a flashlight into SCP-5258-θ to get its attention and it responded by fully encompassing the subject's body, upon releasing D-32320, they appeared unharmed however their skin was permanently dyed by a variety of pigments.

+ LOG: SCP-5968-3-π

- LOG: SCP-5968-3-π

Instance: SCP-5258-3-π
Description: SCP-5968-3-π is a 2.6-meter-tall silicon-based insectoid entity whose body resembles a dung beetle with a thick brow carapace and glowing blue underbelly, terminating in a flat surface missing the head. The flat surface hosts five green eyes surrounding an oral pit full of extendable zinc pillars. SCP-5258-π is believed to be the same species as SCP-1171.
Interaction Account: Upon speaking to SCP-5968-3-π the entity responded by extending two of its zinc pillars to D-009914's head (one behind each ear). Then through bone-conduction SCP-5968-π began to speak to D-009914. A written account of the event is recorded in Transcript A.
Transcript A

Begin Transcript
SSCP-5968-3-π: Ooo ooo ah ah.
D-009914: “Umm…what?”
SCP-5258-3-π: I'm sorry, do you not comprehend, you are an ape are you not.
D-009914: “Uh, no man I'm human, I speak English.”
SCP-5258-3-π: Very well my name is Vanguard, can I order you something, maybe a dish containing… bananas?
D-009914: W-what, I'm good I had the leviathan filet mignon with moon cheese.
SCP-5258-3-π: Went over your head. No matter. Why carbon, seems like a regretful choice? Why spend life as a glorified diamond?
D-009914: “Excuse me, I really don't understand.”
SCP-5258-3-π: What a waste of sapience. I ask, sulfur or hydrogen?
D-009914: “Man, What?”
SCP-5258-3-π: Sulfur or Hydrogen?
D-009914: D-009914 remains silent.
SCP-5258-3-π: Fine I'll choose for you, ape.
End Transcript

After leaving the premises of SCP-5258 D-009914 went through a series of bodily changes described below in time elapsed since SCP-5258-π interaction:
0:45: D-009914 complains 0f dry and cracking skin.
1:15: D-009914's skin dries to the point of immobility.
1:30: Parts of D-009914's body began crumbling off.
1:50: D-009914 forms a pile of dust. From the dust rises a pale white cloud of gas, the gas forms a humanoid figure with congruent dimensions to D-009914. The humanoid rises through the ceiling; the whereabouts of the gaseous being are unknown at time of publication.

+ LOG: SCP-5968-3-ω

- LOG: SCP-5968-3-ω

Instance: SCP-5968-3-ω
Description: SCP-5968-3-ω is a race of plant-like entities composed of a dark green thin, spined stalk and a large membrane appearing as a large, lidded eye. The entities locomote via a network of vines extended from beneath the inside of their bottom eyelid, and secure themselves in the same fashion.
Interaction Account: These entities do not respond to any stimuli, but do appear to convey their orders to SCP-5968-2 instances through blank stares.

Recorded Addendums

+ Addendum A: Attempt to Tip with Currency

- Addendum A: Attempt to Tip with Currency

Upon being tipped with $7.53 in pocket change an SCP-5258-2 instance encased D-32789's hand with its clam-like appendage. Once removed D-32789's hand appeared permanently tattooed with a similar tattoo to the smile on instances of SCP-5968-2's faces.

+ Addendum B: Attempt to Tip with Gold Bullion

- Addendum B: Attempt to Tip with Gold Bullion

Upon being tipped with eight (8) ounces of gold bullion the waiting instance of SCP-5258-2 sucked the material into its clam-like appendage then after 0:45 seconds elapsed the appendage spat out a key made of said eight (8) ounces of gold, hereby designated SCP-5968-4, that when used on any door with a lock, allows user passage into SCP-5968.

+ Addendum C: Attempt to Ask for the Manager

- Addendum C: Attempt to Ask for the Manager

Upon D-30009 asking an instance of SCP-5968-2 to speak with the manager they were handed a 4cm x 6cm card reading "He's dealing with a problem in sales". Further attempts to speak with the manager have yielded the same result.

WARNING

LEVEL 3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED
ALL UNAUTHORIZED VIEWERS WILL BE TERMINATED

+ PROCEED

- REGRESS

Addendum C-2: Attempt to Find the Manager
Foreword: In response to the perpetual inability of the manager of SCP-5968, agents of the Mobile Task Force Zeta-9, "Mole Rats", 'Echo', 'Tango' and 'Lima' were sent in to force their way into a meeting after entering SCP-5968 using SCP-5968-4.
Briefing: The following data was received via live transmission from the body cam of Supervising Agent Tango.
=BEGIN TRANSMISSION=
Tango's body cam switches on revealing Lima and Echo on her left and right respectively, the interior of SCP-5968 as well as two instances of SCP-5968-3-ω seated across from one another in a booth and one instance of SCP-5968-2 can also be seen. Tango moves forward, brushing past one of the SCP-5968-2 entities and revealing the Manager's door.
Tango: "Reporting surroundings: Interior of SCP-5968 appears five meters in widths and fifteen meters in lengths. Four booths, three empty one filled, and the manager's door is visible. Requesting further command."
A transmitter clipped to Tango's belt beeps, clicks then sounds "Approach an instance of SCP-5968 and ask to see the manager."
Tango: "Lima, adhere to command, ask the instance to see the manager."
Lima: "Sure thing T."
Lima walks up to the closest instance of SCP-5968-2 and asks to see the manager to which the instance responds "He's dealing with a problem in sales."
Tango: "Typical response given. Requesting further commands."
The transmitter activates once again, sounding "Data received, proceed with minimal force."
Tango: "Alright men on my command we rush the managerial office."
Echo: "Got it."
Lima: "Roger that cap'n."
Tango moves into approaching stance and signals Echo and Lima.
Tango: "3-2-1."
The agents begin running towards the door and although footsteps can be heard, the manager's door does not come any closer into frame. After stopping in confusion tango turns around to reveal the team has traveled a considerable distance. A voice calls out to the team through newly manifested ceiling intercoms relaying the message "Please be seated, your order will be taken immediately."The team persists for another minute, and eventually more steps of footsteps can be heard. Tango looks over her shoulder revealing the two instances of SCP-5968-2 catching up to them from behind.
Tango: "Shit! I think they're trying to stop us."
Echo: "You think?!"
Lima: "We've gotta find a way to bring the door closer to us! You know, we aren't makin' progress and tweedle dee and dum are high on our tails."
Tango: "I might have an idea, hold them back."
Lima and Echo disappear out of frame, rustling can be heard as Tango retrieves a grappling hook from her utility belt. Tango tosses the rope and it wraps around the handle of the manager's door. She begins pulling herself closer to the door and it does not pull away, around one meter from the door Tango turns around to see Echo and Lima being forced into a booth by the two instances of SCP-5968-2. Tango's transmitter sounds "Proceed", and she turns around and enters through the door. The camera feed goes white for three seconds before adjusting to reveal an empty white void containing only a wooden desk decorated with several phones from a variety of decades and other unidentifiable devices. At the desk sits a mound of grey, opaque slime covered in tan fedora-style hats. From the mound sprouts sparkling tendrils of dust picking up and answering the phones, speaking in a myriad of voices and languages.{Figure hereby represented as SCP-5968-5}
SCP-5968-5: [In the voice of an old english man, a young Scottish woman and Senior Researcher ██████]The Aretha Franklin albums! You fool! You were to procure her soul you incredulous salesman!…Shut your filthy mouth! Just make your quota by the end of the week and I will consider keeping your reputation among the others positive…You had better, or else, do you understand?…Do you?!…I've arranged for your escape from the facility, call me back once you have made another sale.{Due to the script of this conversation a possible recipient has been identified}
Upon noticing Tango SCP-5968-5 puts down all of the phones and speaks in a collection of voices.
SCP-5968-5: "How dare you interrupt me! Can't you see that I am busy, I have more on my plate than you could possibly comprehend!"
A tendril emerges from the membrane of SCP-5968-5 towards Tango, engulfing her body, Tango's body cam video goes dark but audio transmission remained intact.
SCP-5968-5: "The agony, the disgust, the horror you bringeth on to me with this futile interruption. You and your little militia should best stop poking around where you do not belong, I am the transacted, I give and I take, I create and destroy, my venture expands throughout the cosmos far beyond a silly diner, I am eternal, I am infinite, I am the Business Man. Now. To deal with you."
=END TRANSMISSION=
Afterword: Supervising agent Tango is presumed dead, however, after ordering and consuming food, Echo and Lima returned unharmed.

Sender: Dr. Brahm
Recipient: Dr. Tolsch
Subject: MTF Missions into SCP-5968

Dear Dr. Amber Tolsch,
Due to the incident regarding the presumed death of Supervising Agent Tango, MTF manned missions to the managerial room of SCP-5968 have been suspended indefinitely. However, due to the recovery of agents Echo and Lima, the interior of SCP-5968 has been deemed safe for entry and the main room entities have been deemed non-hostile, so between you and me why don't we check out SCP-5968-4 from holding, and grab a bite at the Starlite Diner.
Sincerely,
Dr. Peter Brahm

« SCP-5967 | SCP-5968 | SCP-5969 »


close

Info

X

Created for the 144-Hour Jam Contest Two
Image Source: Here
Public Domain

An instance of SCP-5969

Item #: SCP-5969
Object Class: Safe Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5969 is to be contained in a climate-controlled, blast-resistant containment cell at Site-27. Relative humidity inside the cell is to be maintained between 30-40%, and MUST NOT rise above 50% for any extended period of time. Any personnel entering SCP-5969's containment cell are required to wear a Foundation-issue Level 3 Bomb Protection Suit.
As of Incident I-5969-A, all testing of SCP-5969 has been suspended. See Addendum for details.
Description: SCP-5969 is a collection of 20 19 Mk 2 hand grenades1 (designated SCP-5969-1 through -19) stored inside a standard World War II-era wooden storage crate. Markings on the crate and each instance of SCP-5969 are consistent with other grenades manufactured during this time.
SCP-5969's anomalous effect manifests when the object is exposed to any amount of liquid water, or has been sufficiently exposed to humid air. Once exposed, SCP-5969 will immediately detonate, regardless of if the pin and spoon have been removed prior. The explosion created is equivalent to other standard Mk 2 grenades, however, instead of propelling metal fragmentation, SCP-5969 expels a number2 of seeds that, on contact with a solid surface, instantaneously sprout into a variety of small, flowering plants. Only four plant species have been observed: Aubriet deltoidea, Dianthus caryophyllus, Anemone nemorosa, and Achillea millefolium3. Testing has confirmed that the plants produced in this matter are not anomalous.
NOTE: Following Incident I-5969-A, the description of SCP-5969 has been amended.

+ View Amendment

- Return to original description

The flowers produced by SCP-5969 (designated SCP-5969-B) display no anomalous properties when sprouting on an inanimate surface. Conversely, if contact is made with the skin of a living individual, SCP-5969-B instances will begin to draw blood from the individual into themselves at a rate of 15 mL/s. SCP-5969-B instances will expand to contain any blood they absorb, and will continue to draw blood until the individual expires via exsanguination, at which point the anomalous properties will cease. Multiple instances of SCP-5969-B attached to a single individual will accelerate this process.
If the stem of an SCP-5969-B instance is cut while attached to a living individual, they will continue to bleed through any remaining stem of the SCP-5969-B instance.

Discovery: SCP-5969 was discovered on 05/12/1968 during a raid conducted by local law enforcement agents on one Andrew Werther's apartment in Tucson, Arizona, after a tip was called in regarding a potential bomb threat. Upon entering the apartment, Werther was observed dropping a glass of water onto an instance of SCP-5969 on his kitchen table, causing it to explode, killing him and injuring one police officer.
A Foundation agent embedded in the Tucson Police Department accompanied the raid team, and was able to contain the scene until MTF Epsilon-6 ("Village Idiots") could take over. The police raid team were administered amnestics, and Andrew Werther's death was reported as suicide by gunshot. Upon a search of the rest of Werther's apartment, the crate containing the remaining 24 instances of SCP-5969 was discovered.
Addendum 1:

+ Interview Log 5969-1

- Close Interview Log

Interviewed: Agent Argyle, Foundation Operative embedded within the Tucson Police Department
Interviewer: Dr. Robert Trooper, Lead Researcher, Site-26
Foreword: The following is an excerpt of a debriefing performed on 5/13/1968 following the containment of SCP-5969
<Begin Log>
Dr. Trooper: Tell me about Andrew Werther.
Subject takes a long drag from a cigarette.
Agent Argyle: The kid? Yeah, locals had been trailing him for weeks at that point. Joined up with a bunch of other students looking to do a protest at UA4. And not the usual hippie shit either. Something bigger.
Dr. Trooper: They weren't with the SDS5?
Agent Argyle: Nah. A small splinter group, thought the SDS wasn't going far enough. They talked a big talk, but up until today, we had no idea what the fuck their plan was.
Dr. Trooper: Do you know who might have called in the bomb threat?
Agent Argyle: Not a goddamn clue. Even if we had wanted to run a trace, guy sure didn't talk long enough. Just said 'Andrew Werther has a bomb, he's gonna use it at the protest today', and hung up.
Subject takes another drag from the cigarette, then leans in close to the microphone.
Agent Argyle: And here's the fishy part. Kid was a fuckin' business major! From San Francisco! No fuckin' way he'd know how to make a bomb in less than a day. And it wasn't even a bomb, it was a box of goddamn frags! Kid's dad didn't even serve in World War Two! So where the fuck did he get his hands on a full crate of 'em?
Subject leans back and takes another drag. Dr. Trooper clears his throat.
Dr. Trooper: Let's skip ahead to when your police team entered Andrew's apartment.
Subject lets out a short laugh.
Agent Argyle: Oh man, you wanna talk about some hippie shit? Cause that was some next-level hippie shit. Locals bust his door in, kid jumps, dumps the fucking glass of water he's holding onto the goddamn frag he had lyin' on his kitchen table. Then boom! Flowers fuckin' everywhere. The floor, the walls, the fridge, the ceiling. Even the kid. I mean, he's blown to shit, but he's still got flowers all over him, too.
Dr. Trooper: And what about the officer who was also reported injured?
Agent Argyle: Oh, man, that's how I knew something weird had gone down. I was still out in the hall, couple guys down from the door. We hear the bang, see the guy in the doorway flinch. And we're thinking 'oh shit the kid just offed himself, didn't he?'. Then the guy backs up a bit, turns to us, pale as a damn ghost, and he's got a fucking flower in his fucking vest. We just heard something explode in this apartment, and he's got a flower in his fucking vest. Ah, man, I just about lost it then and there.
<End Log>

Addendum 2:

+ Incident Log I-5969-A

- Close Incident Log

Incident Log I-5969-A
Log Date: 10 March 1969 1014 hours
Foreword: Incident I-5969-A occurred just prior to test 5969-D, after initial testing was delayed due to inclement weather. Relative humidity readings were approximately 82% at the time of the incident. This log is a transcript of video footage recovered from the camera used to record the test procedure. Site-26 Lead Researcher Dr. Robert Trooper and Researcher Dr. J███ Prescott are present at the time of the incident.
<Begin Log>
[10:13:08] Dr. Prescott enters the testing area, holding a clipboard and an instance of SCP-5969. She walks to the center of the testing area and places the instance on a steel podium.
Dr. Trooper: (Off-screen) Glad the rain stopped when it did. I was just about to suspend testing for the day.
[10:13:40] Dr. Prescott is seen fanning herself with the clipboard.
Dr. Prescott: I thought the rain was supposed to make it cooler, not make it even more unbearable out here.
[10:13:43] Dr. Prescott steps towards the camera. She stops when she is handed a metal stand from off-screen.
Dr. Trooper: This shouldn't take too long, thankfully. If you'll finish up in here, I'll get the recording set up.
[10:13:47] Dr. Prescott nods and begins to walk back towards the podium. Dr. Trooper steps in front of the camera as she does, obscuring the frame. He can be heard making adjustments to something off-camera
[10:14:01] Dr. Trooper steps away from the camera. Dr. Prescott is briefly visible walking toward the left of the frame before being obscured again by Dr. Trooper.
[10:14:03] The SCP-5969 instance detonates spontaneously. Flowers are now spread around the testing area. Dr. Trooper visibly flinches. Dr. Prescott's legs are visible from behind Dr. Trooper, prone on the ground. Several flowers are embedded in her legs.
[10:14:03-10:14:06] Silence.
[10:14:07] The flowers embedded in Dr. Prescott begin to inflate. Dr. Prescott begins screaming.
Dr. Trooper: Oh my god. J███!
[10:14:08] The camera is knocked over. Recording ends when it impacts the ground.
<END LOG>
Closing Statement: Dr. J███ Prescott expired approximately two minutes after recording ceased. Cause of death was determined to be exsanguination. Dr. Trooper has been placed on administrative leave pending further investigation.

Footnotes
1. Commonly referred to as "Pineapple Grenades"
2. Approximately 50 - 80
3. Aubrieta, Carnation, Windflower, and Yarrow respectively.
4. The University of Arizona
5. Students for a Democratic Society, an anti-war organization

« SCP-5968 | SCP-5969 | SCP-5970 »


Item #: SCP-5970
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Containment Unit Alhaya-01 has been constructed to encompass SCP-5970. Its structure is resistant to wind erosion and long-term buildups of particulate matter, with the sole entrance being a single doubly-locked mechanical hatch that requires simultaneous operation by two persons to open. A radio beacon is wired to the locks, set to broadcast on Foundation communication bands if an entrance is detected. No additional equipment is installed within the unit.
SCP-5970 is subject to natural concealment protocols. Owing to the conditions of the surrounding landscape, the structure will experience a constant accumulation of sand over the following decades, building to a point where, by 2022, the entire containment unit is expected to be completely buried under a sediment layer. While desert conditions serve as the current deterrent for civilian discovery, the burial will impede any forms of visual observation, reducing the chance of discovery to effectively zero.
As of June 2006, all encampments constituting the Alhaya Preliminary Research Outpost have been dismantled.
Description: SCP-5970 is a black basalt obelisk (base width of 24m with a height of 40m), located 100km west of Chirfa, Nigeria. The structure was found partially submerged in a sand bank, lying at a 29° angle after having toppled over. Inside is a hollow chamber, measuring 11m x 11m x 30m, with grids of 0.3m x 0.3m x 1.1m square recesses lining the walls. Based on the presence of scuff marks along the outer edges and interior surfaces, these are presumed to have served as storage alcoves.
The obelisk and outlying areas (up to an approximate radius of 23m from the structure) are subject to an anomalous preservation effect where organic matter decays at a reduced rate. While this is most noticeable with materials derived from dead organic matter, such as plant and animal life, it extends to living tissue, decreasing the rate at which metabolism is necessary to retain vital function, along with the rates of cell death and growth. This occurs strongest in the chamber. Given complete isolation from the outside environment, it is expected that material could be preserved indefinitely. This effect is physically felt by persons within it, described by them as a tingling, cold air. No thermal abnormalities have been detected.
The exterior surfaces of SCP-5970 are engraved in rows of text at centimeter scales. These form a repeating message, rendered in a different language and writing system with each iteration. To date, only 17% of the languages have been identified, these including Bronze Age scripts, modern languages and their dialects, protolanguages, all known historical forms of English, and writing systems which were previously indecipherable. Based on the presence of unknown dialects derived from modern systems, it has been hypothesized that the anomaly includes languages yet to develop, though the Foundation's inability to predict linguistic trends prevents any investigation into the matter.
The message reads as follows:

FOR YOU, FOREVER.
YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

Cultural symbols of knowledge, life, and aid are engraved at the top of the obelisk.
Sections of the structure are heavily damaged from events prior to its submersion. Most notably, the entire eastern wall is collapsed, having been breached from the outside at an unknown point in the past. The cause of this is unclear, though the presence of wooden shrapnel in the vicinity, the distribution of debris around the anomaly, and the patterns of faults in its stone suggest the use of an explosive device, rudimentary in nature. Radiocarbon dating was performed on the shrapnel to determine an age for the event, though too little 14C could be detected, failing to provide functional results. Excavations were attempted to uncover any correlated materials, but, after four months of work, none were found.
Only one artifact was present within SCP-5970. Placed in an alcove on the southern wall, the object is a parchment scroll bound in three-ply cord and wrapped around a wooden rotulus, constructed from the same wood as the shrapnel. While ink markings can be discerned on the parchment, environmental factors likely experienced before the obelisk's submersion caused the material to heavily corrode, reaching a point where restoration is now impossible. The markings are illegible.
At the time of discovery, the obelisk was flooded with sand, having filled as it sunk into the desert. Following an extensive clearing process, the anomaly, with exception of the aforementioned artifact, was found to be entirely empty. No signs of its original contents exist, and no remnants could be located. Given the far past date of the breach, these are presumably lost.
No further data on SCP-5970 exists. Until new information emerges, the Foundation Board of Containment Oversight has designated the anomaly a Priority 0 ("Least Concern") focus.
The current procedures are to remain in effect indefinitely.

« SCP-5969 | SCP-5970 | SCP-5971 »