3/5605 LEVEL 3/5605
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5605

Keter

First reported sighting of SCP-5605-1

Special Containment Procedures: Low-Earth-Orbit satellites are to pass over Area-of-Interest-5605 no less frequently than once per hour. Atmospheric conditions indicating the appearance of SCP-5605 are to prompt the immediate dispatch of MTF Xi-9 ("Wheat Watchers") in order to protect against public interaction.
MTF Agents and other deployed personnel are to make use of [Cover Story #013 - "Dangerous Animal At Large"] and redirect all civilians away from the affected area. Persons that enter the affected area are not to be pursued and should be considered lost. Use of force as necessary to elicit compliance is authorized.
Description: SCP-5605 is a wandering point of planar intersection occurring primarily within Northern Saskatchewan, Canada. Although the borders of this phenomenon are poorly defined, it is typically observed to grow as wide as approximately 200 square kilometers before rapidly contracting and disappearing. Due to differences in the atmospheric composition of this dimension, the most reliable indicators of SCP-5605 are dense fog and the sudden appearance of snow-covered ground regardless of prevailing weather conditions.
Although conditions within SCP-5605 closely mirror those of prime reality, the space within suggests a divergent timeline where humanity no longer exists. To date, the only encountered living occupant of SCP-5605 has been an entity which closely resembles an extinct subspecies of polar bear, the Ursus maritimus tyrannus1. This entity is classified as SCP-5605-1.
Early data suggested that instances of SCP-5605 appear at random intervals and random locations within the general geographic boundaries of Northern Saskatchewan. However, after further correlation it appears that SCP-5605 preferentially selects times and coordinates which make it likely to intercept small groups. The methods and mechanisms by which targets are selected remain indeterminate.

Field Agent's Log

On 2016-09-17 two field agents were investigating reports of a cryptid in the vicinity of Lake Athabasca, Saskatchewan, supposedly related to a rash of disappearances in the area. At their last successful check-in time, Agents Ricardo Diaz and Curt Vogel indicated they were heading to the last known whereabouts of a cluster of missing persons. Unknown to both agents, they had entered an instance of SCP-5605 during their investigation and all contact was immediately lost when the instance closed.
On 2016-09-20, less than 72-hours after their initial disappearance, another instance of SCP-5605 manifested approximately 20-kilometers north of the field agents' last known location. Due to standard security protocols in light of their MIA status, the missing agents' network security certificate had been revoked; communication was not automatically re-established. However, the vehicle they had been using was able to act as local data storage for their audio and video streams. This footage was recovered when the missing vehicle was located. The whereabouts of Agents Diaz and Vogel remains unknown.

+Begin: Recovered Video Fragments

-wq:logoff

Segment: A

Video has been filmed from Agent Diaz's body camera. A timestamp appears in the lower margin of the video which continues to match the Foundation Master-Clock. A battery indicator appears on the right side of the same margin indicating 14% remaining battery life.
Agents Diaz and Vogel trek at a slow pace across a snowy plain and the howling of the wind obscures much of the audio. After several minutes of the camera angled downward, the agents come to a stop and the camera pans around as Vogel evaluates the landscape. The pair appears to have crested a rolling hill. The faint suggestion of a midday sun is visible overhead through dense fog although the video timestamp indicates 2021 hours.
The camera lingers for several seconds on Agent Vogel who appears to be suffering from prolonged and severe fatigue. The Agent's lips are severely chapped and cracked and their face is badly wind-burned. They slowly pivot to evaluate the landscape.
Diaz: <Voice is hoarse> More of the same. I think I see the sheen of daylight on ice over there, at about 3 o'clock. Maybe it's too heavy for the lake ice? We might be able to sleep for a little bit.
Vogel: <Also hoarse> Can't see more than a kilometer anyway. No other option. Have to try…something different. Let's go.
They begin walking in the direction indicated by Diaz.
Diaz: You know…when we get outta here…I'm gonna cash out at least two weeks and go to Malibu. I don't care if the debrief takes a whole week by itself; once they let me out of that fucking door I'm not coming back for a month!
Vogel: Two weeks at the start of the story and a month by the end. Just how much PTO you got clenched up up there, Diaz? Both agents laugh softly.
Diaz: Just think about it though. Pina coladas, white sand beaches, warm breezes.
Vogel: No fog, no snowblindness, and seeing something actually different went you turn around for once.
Diaz: And no fucking polar bear.
Vogel: And no polar bears.

Segment: B

Approximately twenty minutes of extraneous audio and video has been removed as the pair arrives to the edge of a frozen lake. There is almost no snow on the lake ice and the presence of water is clearly indicated through the sheet of ice. Uneven rock formations jut up through the snow and seem to mark the waterline. The wind continues to whip loudly in the camera's microphone. Battery indicator shows 13% remaining.
Vogel: Christ, there's no way we can walk across this if we can see water.
Vogel carefully extends a boot and steps onto the lake ice, sliding his weight further out as he attempts to maintain a low center of gravity. Agent Vogel then tests a second foot, his entire weight now out on the ice. He carefully takes several steps out before a loud snap and crack pierces the air, originating from near Vogel. Agent Diaz lunges forward, extending his arm out as Vogel begins to slide back toward the shore and is pulled to safety. The pair of agents collapse on the lake shore catching their breath for several minutes.
Diaz: Maybe we could like…lay out, spread out our weight. Th-the dis…distribution or whatever. We should be…the points of contact. The surface area.
Vogel: Yeah, yeah, whatever it is you're thinking of, you do it first. You can barely string a sentence together. I'll do the one-knee thing here by the shore where the ice is a little thicker in case our guest shows up. Seriously, snag some shuteye.
Diaz: I need to save my fighting spirit. You're lucky. Hey, Vogel, any chap-stick left?
Vogel: My lips practically look like hamburger from this dry air and you actually think I might be holding out on you? Get fucking bent. <lengthy pause> I'm sorry, we're…it's just…
Diaz: I know, mate. Wake me in 45.
Agent Diaz gets onto the lake ice and lays down, sliding himself across the ice until he is several meters from the shore. He lays on his back as his breathing steadies and he begins to softly snore, even through the howling of the wind.

Segment: C

Approximately forty minutes of extraneous audio and video have been removed, during which Agent Diaz shifts onto his side while sleeping. The camera is pointed in the direction of Agent Vogel, who is facing away from the camera and downwind. Agent Vogel's head and shoulders droop several times and he nearly falls over more than a dozen times during the truncated video, presumably from fatigue. Video resumes as Agent Vogel does fall over and onto his side and then immediately shoots up, awake.
As Vogel pulls himself to his feet, a bellowing roar cuts through the wind from an unknown source. Vogel scrambles toward the lake and slides onto his belly and military-crawls across the ice until he reaches Diaz. He attempts to wake the sleeping agent and the camera jostles substantially as Diaz sits up and tries to orient himself.
Vogel: Diaz. Diaz! It's coming, it's fucking found us already. It's coming, we-we gotta…
Diaz: Lay down, let's head further out. Your two feet were enough to crack it there's no way it can run out here. Come on.
The two agents shimmy out several dozen meters from the shore, oriented in the direction they heard the roar originate from. Nearly twenty minutes pass before a dark silhouette crests a nearby hill, indicating the arrival of SCP-5605-1. Agents Diaz and Vogel remain motionless.
SCP-5605-1 reaches the edge of the lake and comes to stop. It lowers its massive head and extends one paw, carefully and hesitantly testing the ice.
Vogel: Oh fuck it's going to fucking try. You've gotta be kidding me…
Diaz: There's no way. As soon as this ice breaks we gun it for the shoreline and we run. This is going to work. This has to work.
As the two agents lie still, SCP-5605-1 continues to trod further out onto the ice and approaches the agents. Diaz hits Vogel on the shoulder twice as he begins to get up.
Diaz: Alright, that's close enough, we gotta go. Like, now. Vogel. Vogel? Vogel! Come on, man!
As Diaz starts to back-peddle toward the shoreline the camera pans down. Agent Vogel is transfixed on the ice, looking down with his mouth hanging open. Diaz grabs hold of Vogel's boot and begins to drag him toward the shore. As he does so, the camera points sharply downward and a nude, humanoid figure is seen bumping against the ice from the underside. This causes Diaz to scream and let go of Vogel's foot and fall onto his backside.
Diaz: What the hell?!
Vogel: <Weakly> Claire…
Diaz turns over onto his hands and knees and crawls back to Vogel, grabbing his waist and pulling him toward the shore. As he does so, the humanoid figure resurfaces and bumps against the nearly-clear lake ice once again. The figure is a human female, appearing to be approximately 30-years-old with blonde hair and extremely pale skin. It is unclear if this pale skin is a natural condition or a product of the environment. The figure's eyes are open and its face is contorted in a look of shock and pain.
Vogel: <Whimpering> My Claire…
Several more humanoid figures begin appearing beneath the ice all around them in similar poses, but due to refraction, their faces are unclear. Diaz yanks on Vogel's waistband several more times, hauling him toward the shore. Upon reaching solid ground, Vogel gathers himself enough to get up and start running away with Diaz. Another bellowing roar is heard close behind them. The battery indicator shows 9% remaining.

Segment: D

Approximately 10 minutes of extraneous audio and video have been removed before Vogel falls onto his hands and knees, chest heaving from their hasty escape.
Vogel: It was Claire…How?!
Diaz slumps forward and puts his hands on his knees, but remains standing, his breathing labored.
Diaz: She's dead, Curt. She's dead and buried and you know that. W-whatever you say you saw, it-it must have just been fatigue. A hallucination. These things happen when you're up for three days on an adrenaline high. Your brain chemistry must be ten shades of messed up right now.
Vogel: It's this place, Diaz. That was her. There's no mistaking those eyes.
Diaz: It's okay. I believe you, but you have to try not to—
Vogel: No, I need to say this. Once you've had to look into your lover's eyes and watch the life bleed out…you don't forget that. I know, in every fiber of this coward's heart that still beats within me, that those were her eyes, damn it.
Several moments of silence pass before Diaz puts a hand on Vogel's shoulder. He allows it to remain there for several seconds before Vogel sits up and pushes the hand off.
Vogel: I don't need your sympathy. I didn't need the fake sympathy cards then, and I don't want your pandering consolation now.
Diaz: Hey, man. This is empathy, not sympathy. I can see you're hurting. But we have to be strong a little while longer. You can lean on me for as long-
Vogel: We're never getting out of here. You know that, right? That big stupid thing is going to catch us. Just like it caught that hiker, just like it caught those campers we were looking for, just like it caught my Claire.
Diaz: Curt that was a car accident. Five years ago. The bear didn't have anything at all to do with it. And for the record, no, I don't know that we're going to die here. Now get the fuck up and let's move.
Diaz pulls Vogel up to his feet; the other agent appears to be crying.
Vogel: I didn't know someone else remembered.
Diaz: Of course I do. You're like a brother to me.
They resume walking. The battery indicator shows 7% remaining.

Segment: E

Approximately ten minutes of extraneous audio and video are removed before Agent Diaz abruptly slides and falls down the side of a steep hill. A rocky facet of the hill was obscured by a snow drift which broke away due to the Agent's activity. The camera is surrounded and impacted by snow. Several minutes pass before the snow is cleared away and Vogel can be seen frantically trying to dig Diaz out. Vogel begins looking up and over Diaz's shoulder as he starts to dig faster.
Vogel: It's coming, it's coming. Come on, man, we gotta go.
A series of primal grunts pierce the air from somewhere unseen; both agents freeze upon hearing the first one but then immediately resume frantically digging. As the snow is cleared away, Vogel tries to help Diaz out but he is not able to move freely.
Diaz: Ah! Ouch, stop! It's my foot. My ankle. Something…I can feel resistance. Don't pull, look around behind me.
Vogel repositions to focus on the problem area and freezes, motionless.
Diaz: …Vogel? How bad is it?
Vogel: Ahh, well. There's…there's two pretty big rocks. And I'm pretty sure I see coagulated blood. Either that or you were storing coffee grounds in your socks.
Diaz: Fuck. If you're telling jokes then…
Vogel presses his lips together tightly. He then repositions to try and move the rocks and continue to dig out snow. This continues for approximately two minutes until a large shadow eclipses Vogel and Diaz. Diaz cranes his head up and back but the camera is not able move with him.
Diaz: <Whispering> Vogel. You have to take this, and you have to go. Now. Please, Curt. Live. Just… Please, Curt, go.
Agent Vogel is motionless, his gaze affixed on SCP-5605-1 which is casting the shadow. Agent Diaz decouples his body camera and hands it to Vogel, and then pushes him away. Vogel begins to shuffle backward as he climbs to his feet.
Diaz: Go. Go!
Vogel continues to shuffle backward as SCP-5605-1 walks around the rocky hill and approaches Agent Diaz. Its face lowers to closely examine the agent, who unsheathes a bowie knife from a body holster and swings wildly at SCP-5605-1. The bear takes a half-step backward and avoids the swing, momentarily startled by the gesture.
Diaz: I said fucking go!
Vogel begins to run now. As distance increases and the fog obscures line of sight, Diaz and SCP-5605-1 become silhouettes and then disappear entirely. A series of piercing but brief screams are heard. The battery indicator shows 6% remaining.

Segment: F

Approximately two hours of extraneous audio and video are removed before Agent Vogel stops next to a barren aspen tree and sits down, his back against its trunk. The howling of the wind has lessened slightly but the fog has thickened around him.
Vogel: It's getting warmer, I can tell. Only a little, but I can feel it in the air; it's warmer, wetter, wherever I am now. Sun still hasn't moved and I might never move again either. I'm tired. Really goddamn tired.
The camera is decoupled and Agent Vogel sets it on his lap, facing up. He scans his surroundings as the video continues to record.
Vogel: I can't stop thinking about her. Claire. I know, right? What kind of a monster wouldn't have Diaz on the mind right now but that's my training kicking in. I've detached, at least from that. But not her. Never her. The truth is that I could never leave her behind and I've kept that chain hanging around my neck for five years. We never fell out of love and I guess I still haven't either.
Agent Vogel repositions the camera slightly as he raises his knees so it is nearly at eye level. His eyes begin to well with tears as he looks into the camera.
Vogel: The court documents all show that I blew a 0.00 by the time the paramedics were done and the cops had hold of me. More than five hours after the accident. But what they don't show is that if they had tested me earlier at the sobriety check-point instead of on the winding country road that I used to go around them, my night might have just ended with a 'simple' DWI. And she'd still be alive.
Vogel: She was stone-cold sober, too. She trusted me and I did that to her… Agent Vogel's lip begins to quiver.
Vogel: I should have died. Not her. She should be moving on and starting a beautiful family by now. I should be…a picture in a memory box. A memory to take out and shed a tear over once a decade and then put away, but I…that's not reality. She's dead. She's trapped beneath the ice here, her last tear-soaked words hanging in this relentless, howling wind. And I don't even have the luxury of being able to stop and listen, to mourn. This thing…this stupid bear. Agent Vogel loses his composure for a moment and begins to sob; he turns his head away from the camera.
Vogel: This fucking bear has been on us since we got here. It doesn't stop. It just doesn't stop. I got a good look into its beady little coal-black eyes when it showed up in our camp and then again with Diaz. They were hollow and full of hate and I know it was looking at me. It ripped that poor fucking camper's leg clean off but it was looking at me while it did it. We ran. Slept when we could. Ran more. And it still came, relentless. Looking at me, for me. Well, there's nowhere left for me to run. My body, my soul, has given up.
Vogel: Diaz is dead now too, but it should be me. Yet again. He told me that I should go, that I should live. I walked away from something like this before and…living was the worst thing to happen to me. They say that hikers that get lost in the bush can last a real long time so long as they still have hope. Welp. Time's up. Vogel leans his hack back against the tree.
A series of deep thumps interrupt the audio as a shadow slowly eclipses Agent Vogel. He lifts his head from its resting position and presumably regards SCP-5605-1. The corners of his mouth turn up into a smile as he begins to sob once more. The battery indicator reads 2%.
Vogel: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You can't outrun your guilt. You just die tired.
Agent Vogel tosses the camera which rolls for several meters before coming to stop facing a small copse of trees. An animalistic grunt pierces the audio followed by a muffled series of screams. The howling winds have largely died down and the fog begins to partially abate. The audio detects intermittent crunching and chewing sounds until the battery indicator reaches 0% and the body camera powers off.

Footnotes
1. The "tyrant polar bear", estimated to be approximately 140% the size of modern polar bears.

« SCP-5604 | SCP-5605 | SCP-5606 »


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Special Containment Procedures

Due to a current lack of understanding of SCP-5608's source, containment is impossible. All affected individuals are to be contained and surrounded by individuals with thought paradigms that disagree with their own. Tests of the efficacy of amnestics to counteract this anomaly are ongoing. There are currently five affected individuals in containment, designated PoI-5608-1 through -5. Foundation assets stationed in police forces and campus security are to monitor for and investigate any and all reports of stalking behavior.
Currently, the only known way to halt the effects of SCP-5608 is to allow the affected individual to consume at least a portion of the grey matter of their target's brain.

Description

SCP-5608 is a rare, anomalous form of synesthesia1. Persons affected by the anomaly are able to perceive tastes based on the thoughts of those around them. Increasing physical proximity between the affected person and other individuals increases the strength of the taste. Additionally, affected individuals have reported that thoughts that mimic or complement their own have a pleasant taste, whereas thoughts that are counter to their own are disgusting.
Affected individuals have described complementary thoughts as "sweet," "savory," "pleasant," and "overwhelmingly powerful." There is a significantly greater variation in the descriptions of unpleasant tastes, comparing them to the affected individual's least favorite foods, as well as various varieties of animal excrement.
Individuals experiencing SCP-5608 have a very high likelihood of developing a psychological addiction to the pleasant tastes. During a containment interview, PoI-5608-3 commented "Imagine the best thing that you've ever tasted, and you can only ever taste it again if you're near a specific person. Wouldn't you want to spend more time with them?"

Discovery

SCP-5608 was first discovered when Foundation agents within the Cincinnati Police Department interviewed James Conners, incarcerated for murdering Matthew Harper, a classmate at Xavier University. An excerpt of Agent Jakobson's interview with Conners can be found below.

Interview 5608-CONNERS

Close interview

[BEGINNING OF INTERVIEW OMITTED FOR BREVITY]
Jakobson: Alright, we've got that all squared away. Now, can you detail the series of events that led to you murdering your classmate, Matthew Harper?
Conners: God, can you not be so….cold about it? I feel terrible about all of this. Matt….he didn't deserve that. I still can't believe I….ugh.
Jakobson: Listen, kid. I'm not a counselor. I'm not here to make you feel better. I'm here to get the facts; to figure out why a college student with a bright future and no history of aggression or neurodiverse traits was found with brain matter in hi-
Conners: Jesus man! I get it! It was…I think it started a few weeks ago. I was walking around campus and suddenly I taste this….something. I can't even describe it. It's like how good pizza, ice cream, a good steak, and my grandpa's homemade root beer taste, all rolled into one. And multiplied ten times over.
Jakobson: And you had not partaken of any illicit substances?
Conners: Hell no, man. I've been to too many parties where people OD or get jacked up and do some crazy shit. I have a drink now and again but that's it. You can fuckin test my piss if you want.
Jakobson: Perhaps later. So, you tasted something strange and good. What happened next?
Conners: Well….god this is gonna sound stupid, but….you ever see those old cartoons, where someone smells a pie or something, and the smell pulls them along by their nose?
Jakobson: I'm familiar with that trope, yes.
Conners: Well, it was like that. I just…followed the taste. And it led me to Matt.
Jakobson: Was this surprising to you?
Conners: I mean, not any more surprising than suddenly tasting some unknown ambrosia.
Jakobson: Right. So, Mr. Harper was the source of this taste. Did you inform him of this?
Conners laughs.
Conners: Are you fucking insane? How do you even tell someone that? "Hey bro no homo but when I'm around you I taste something fantastic so let's hang out." No, I didn't tell him.
Jakobson: Understandable. So what did you do?
Conners: Well I had a few classes with Matt, and we studied psych together on weekends, so we spent a lot of time together anyway. But after a while….it wasn't enough.
Jakobson: What wasn't enough?
Conners: The time. I needed to be around him more. I wanted to taste it every waking second of my life. So I started…accidentally running into him at football games, the cafeteria…
Jakobson: You started stalking him.
Conners: No! I was just…fuck, yeah, I guess I was. Goddamn it. I started skipping classes and following him to his. I skipped meals, I followed him home…
Jakobson: And what led you to consider cannibalizing him?
Conners: Jesus fucking christ can you not say it like that? I'm not some psycho Jeffrey Dahmer asshole! I just…I needed to taste more. Nothing was enough anymore.
Jakobson: You were addicted.
Conners: That's putting it mildly.
Jakobson: Can you describe to me the events that led up to you killin-
Conners: It was Friday night, after a party. Matt was hammered as hell and I was the DD that night. I stuck around him all night, the more he drank, the stronger the taste got. He's….he was a giggly drunk. The guy that always says "I love you guys" when he drinks. Anyway, I drove him home. The taste was so intense, so distracting…I almost t-boned someone.
Agent Jakobson remains silent.
Conners: He was stumbling around when we got to his apartment complex, so I helped him inside, and up to his place. I helped him get his shoes and coat off and get into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out like a fucking light. And for a few minutes I just sat there, tasting it. It tasted…it was better than sex. Better than the best sex you can imagine. It was heaven in my goddamned mouth and it still wasn't enough.
Connors takes a heaving breath.
Conners: So I grabbed his advanced chem textbook and hit him across the face. And then again. I hit him in the temple with the corner and didn't stop until it was like I was bathing in the taste. Once there was a big enough hole I stuck my fingers in and fucking pried his skull open. And then I…I fucking….
Conners begins to cry heavily.
Conners: I ate his fucking brains! I scooped them out with my bare hands and ate them like it was my last meal. I didn't really come to terms with what had happened until it was done, and then there I was, with my friend's blood and hair all over my hands and the worst aftertaste ever in my mouth. You know the rest.
Jakobson: Can you say with confidence that had it not been for the sudden appearance of this taste, this wouldn't have happened?
Conners: Fucking-A yes I can! I never wanted to hurt Matt. I just….it was all I could think about. Nothing mattered anymore but getting more of that taste. And now I'm going to prison for the rest of my life, aren't I?
Jakobson: You will certainly be….detained for some time. But it won't be like any prison you know.
Conners: I'm so fucking sorry. I wish I had never tasted that….whatever it was. What about Matt's family? What did you guys tell them?
Jakobson: The police are handling that side of the investigation. However, I can guarantee that you will not be named. In fact, Matthew's family will soon forget you existed entirely.
Conners: Thank god for that.
[END INTERVIEW]

POST-INTERVIEW NOTE
James Conners was designated PoI-5608-1, and was interviewed thoroughly by Foundation agents and psychiatrists. It is clear that he exhibited symptoms of a strong psychological addiction, but it is as of yet unclear if the addiction was anomalous in nature, or simply a result of the anomalous taste. Research into this, as well as possible sources of the anomaly and methods of combating the effects, is ongoing. We are unsure if this anomaly may return, so PoI-5608-1 is currently declared as indefinitely contained.
- Dr. J.C. Honors

Close interview

Addendum 5608-A

PoI-5608-2 was placed in a standard humanoid isolated containment chamber to determine if an absence of exposure to outside thoughts could counteract the effects of SCP-5608. The victim was discovered several hours later, deceased, with the following injuries:

Three fractured digits on the right hand.
Two of the fractured digits had their fingernails torn off, found embedded in the skin of their right temple.
A self-inflicted puncture wound through the victim's right temple, outlined by severe bruising.
Traces of grey matter in the victim's mouth.

Footnotes
1. A neurological condition describing a person's senses getting "mixed up" - hearing colors, tasting sounds, etc.

« SCP-5607 | SCP-5608 | SCP-5609 »


2/5609 LEVEL 2/5609
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5609
Object Class: Keter

A component of the satellite array surrounding SCP-5609

Special Containment Procedures: An array of Foundation-owned satellites surround SCP-5609 at all times, and are programmed to constantly project a selectively antimemetic field around the object to prevent its viewing by civilians. Unmanned research probe SCPS Spearhead has been landed on SCP-5609, and is currently being used to collect its tissue samples and take vital readings. Any changes in the orbital pattern of SCP-5609 are to be monitored, and circumvented via movement of the satellite array.
Description: SCP-5609 is a massive (230 km in diameter), bioluminescent, spherical organism, currently in orbit 30,000 km above the earth's surface. SCP-5609 constantly emits yellow light, and upon cursory observation resembles a small moon.
Close-up inspection of SCP-5609 has shown it to possess features similar to those of some beetle larvae, such as a small, discolored head with two compound eyes and two short mandibles; two visible legs protruding from underneath its head; and soft, segmented skin.
Addendum: Recovered Data
The following is a list of data pertaining to SCP-5609, collected by SCPS Spearhead.

SCP-5609 moves periodically; however, such motion consists of not much more than momentary twitching of its legs and mandibles.
SCP-5609 lacks the ability to steer and propel its body through space. Its orbit is entirely passive.
The metabolism of SCP-5609 is hypothesized to be up to 3,000 times slower than that of any terrestrial insect.
The presence of spiracles1 on the body of SCP-5609 indicate that it is not biologically suited for survival in a vacuum.
A section of skin on the back of SCP-5609 protrudes from the organism, as if being pulled.

Addendum: Incident Log
On March 22, 2021, SCP-5609 disappeared, along with SCPS Spearhead. The anomaly was reclassified as Neutralized after an extensive search of the area of outer space surrounding Earth found no trace of it.
One month later, SCPS Spearhead re-appeared in high Earth orbit and immediately fell through the atmosphere. Despite sustaining heavy damage upon crash-landing, the following audio log remained intact.

(Heavy static is audible, but dissipates after 7 seconds. Upon its dissipation, two voices are heard.)
Unknown-1: Hoooooo-eeee! Now this one's bound to be a doozy.
Unknown-2: Can't believe they bit. Oh, we'll sure be eatin' well tonight!
(After a few moments, the voices become louder. The recording distorts slightly as a result.)
Unknown-2: Hey, Willie? Uh… you gotta see this.
Unknown-1: What the- awwwww, c'mon, not this again.
Unknown-2: What is it?
Unknown-1: Oh, just another one of those shiny bugs. Toss it back in.
Unknown-2: Could I keep it? It looks pretty cool.
Unknown-1: (Audibly sighs) You can't eat cool, Amos.
Unknown-2: All right, all right, fine. (The sound of rushing air is heard, followed by a loud splash. The voices begin to fade.)
Unknown-1: …gotta cast out by the moon next time. I heard tell the folks there're a bunch more gullible.
(Static becomes audible. The recording ends.)

The area surrounding the moon is currently being monitored for signs of SCP-5609 re-emergence.

Footnotes
1. Breathing organs found on terrestrial insects

« SCP-5608 | SCP-5609 | SCP-5610 »


Item #: SCP-5611
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5611 is to be confined to a cage located in a sound-proof chamber. Personnel assigned to SCP-5611 must be inoculated against rabies. Interactions with it are to be performed through automatic means.
Description: SCP-5611 is an adult male Rottweiler (Canis lupus familiaris) whose body exhibits a temporal loop.
The head of SCP-5611 violently explodes every 12 minutes as it is accompanied by the sound of a gunshot, however, no bullet is ever observed. It will be deceased for 6 seconds before its body resets, which demanifests all scattered biomass from the surroundings. The fragments of its skull have been observed to burst out at varying high velocities, which can result in possible injury to nearby individuals. The loop does not limit the autonomy of SCP-5611. It is able to perform whatever action it desires before its sudden death.
The specimen is also infected with rabies at the late stages of infection. As a result, it is hostile and prone to biting. It has never been observed to advance further into the infection to expire from respiratory arrest, presumably due to the temporal anomaly. However, the virus progresses normally in subjects SCP-5611 infects through bite.
Attempts at euthanasia mandated by the Ethics Committee1 (see Addendum 01) revealed that SCP-5611 cannot be permanently killed. Its body continues to perform the temporal loop, which resets the specimen back to life at the beginning of the next cycle. The anomaly has also extended SCP-5611's lifespan beyond that of average dogs for it has not aged since it was contained. It is believed that it will continue to live indefinitely.
SCP-5611 was contained on 04/13/1980 after a series of dog attacks were reported from a town in northern Texas. Four individuals were mauled to death, and local law enforcement noted its anomalous properties. Agents arrived to enact containment procedures, and investigate the origin of the anomaly. Interviewing the locals revealed that SCP-5611 originally belonged to ███ █████████. Mr. █████████ was found deceased in the backyard of his home near an unfinished grave pit. His throat was torn apart along with his left calf. Signs of a struggle were present inside the house where a spent side-by-side double-barreled shotgun was found. In Mr. █████████'s right hand, he held onto a dog collar that had the name "Bean" written on it.
Witnesses of SCP-5611's anomalous properties were amnesticized. The cover story of a spree killer with a rabid dog was disseminated.
Addendum 01:

As of now, all personnel assigned to SCP-5611 are to ignore the Ethics Committee's neutralization order. Its suffering is deemed acceptable for containment as long as it does not interfere with it. Besides, we live with worse. Why is an old dog any different? It can handle another few decades.
- O5-4

Addendum 02: Dr. Andy Hendrickson requested the use of SCP-5611 as a test subject to research more effective treatments for rabies. Dr. Hendrickson has argued that the results could alleviate SCP-5611's aggressiveness, and benefit Foundation front companies. The proposal is awaiting the approval of the O5 Council, and Ethics Committee.

Footnotes
1. See document "E.C. Review Meeting 132-5611" for additional information.

« SCP-5610 | SCP-5611 | SCP-5612 »


Item #: SCP-5613
Level 3/5613

Object Class: Euclid
Classified

The border of Containment Site-5613, near the SCP-5613-C filtration system.

Special Containment Procedures: All aspects of SCP-5613 are to be contained in situ within Containment Site-5613 and regularly patrolled for intruders. Any non-Foundation personnel who approach are to be dissuaded through Standard Cover Story 25-Tsevaoth (Military Drill). If they continue, they are to be taken offsite, questioned regarding SCP-5613, and amnesticized. Personnel are not to be questioned onsite.
On the grounds of Containment Site-5613 it is forbidden to engage in any form of spoken argument. Theoretical debates, for instance, debates as to the nature of SCP-5613, are to be conducted solely using an online server Following the Akhnai Event of Post-Containment Incident B, all debate or discussion, written or spoken, is forbidden on the grounds of Containment Site-5613. An offsite location has been installed for any and all theoretical debates, and staff are forbidden from engaging in any conversation excluding objective note-taking and containment-related orders.
SCP-5613-A is to be regularly monitored for erosion damage. If an Akhnai Event occurs, the Containment Site-5613 Assistant Director is to shake his or her fist in its direction and recite Ritual Phrases 5613-A #1—3 in Tiberian Hebrew, Western Aramaic, and Koine Greek respectively.

Show Ritual Phrases 5613-A #1—3

Hide Ritual Phrases 5613-A #1—3

RP-5613-A #
Language
Text
Transcription

1
Tiberian Hebrew
מַה טִּיבְכֶם
Mah ṭivkhem?1

2
Western Aramaic
לְמָא סְלֵיקְתּוּן לְוָתַנָא
Lᵊma sᵊleiqtun lᵊwathāna?2

3
Koine Greek
μὴ συγκοινωνεῖτε
Mḗ synkoinōneite!3

SCP-5613-B is to be pruned, watered and harvested as appropriate for a non-anomalous Ceratonia siliqua tree of its size. Its fruits are non-anomalous and staff are permitted to consume them for personal use. If an Akhnai Event occurs, containment staff are to immediately ensure that its new location is surrounded by Containment Site-5613 land for more than more that 200 meters in any direction.
A filtration system is to be installed just past the western end of SCP-5613-C to catch and dispose of any dead free-swimming complex organisms. As per the Haifa Accords of 1962 the Israeli government is to tacitly increase the liquid sewage flow into the Wadi Sorek, so as to make it inhospitable for free-swimming complex organisms. Swimming in SCP-5613-C is expressly forbidden.4
When an Akhnai Event occurs, holders of the minority opinion are to be immediately removed from the grounds of Containment Site-5613, and staff members are to follow Procedure 5613-Yovel in its entirety.

Show Procedure 5613-Yovel

Hide Procedure 5613-Yovel

Procedure 5613-Yovel

STEP 1: Three shofarot5 are to be blown one hundred times each.

STEP 2: Physical copies of all research done by majority are to be burned in a large onsite bonfire.

STEP 3: All holders of the majority opinion are to place the ash of the bonfire on their head.

STEP 4: All holders of the majority opinion are to cut off any contact with holders of the minority opinion, and are to remain at a distance of at least 2 meters away from holders of the minority opinion at all times for the next eleven months.

STEP 5: After eleven months have passed, social connections with holders of the minority opinion may be re-established, although holders of the minority opinion are forbidden from being assigned to SCP-5613 again.

Description: SCP-5613 is the collective term used for a series of three related anomalies found in a field just north of Yavneh in the Central District of Israel.

SCP-5613-A
SCP-5613-B
SCP-5613-C

A close-up of the texture of SCP-5613-A

SCP-5613-A is an unhewn, unmortared stone wall approximately 45 meters in length, 20 centimeters in width, and 3.5 meters in height. SCP-5613-A is, as of 29-9-2019, tilted at a 43° angle. This is substantially greater than the critical angle of repose for unmortared stones, yet SCP-5613-A holds its form without collapsing.
During Akhnai Events, SCP-5613-A steadily increases its tilt until an assistant director or equivalent position of authority recites RP-5613-A #1—3 in Tiberian Hebrew, Western Aramaic, and Koine Greek.

SCP-5613-B in its former location, prior to the most recent Akhnai Event.

SCP-5613-B is a carob or locust tree Ceratonia siliqua, 13.5 meters in height, of a genetic variety commonly found in the southern Levant. Its flowering and fruiting seasons are standard and its produce is unanomalous. Notably, it has not been shown to age or grow any larger since testing began, and although genetic-drift testing testing suggests it is approximately 2000 years old (approximately 1000 years older than the oldest known carob tree), its size would suggest it is only approximately 150 years old.
At the onset of an Akhnai Event, SCP-5613-B disappears from its location, and at its conclusion it reappears anywhere between 40 and 200 meters's distance from its previous location. SCP-5613-B's former location has consistently shown signs of a minor cave-in consistent with a substantial quantity of root matter disappearing, but its new location has never shown any sign of rupture or breach, and soil analysis has shown no movement of soil from one location to another.

A small section of SCP-5613-C.

SCP-5613-C is an approximately 50-meter stretch of the Wadi Sorek, an intermittent stream that flows through central Israel. This stretch "flows backwards" from the rest of the wadi — whereas most of the Wadi Sorek flows downstream from east to west, water within SCP-5613-C flows from west to east. Any loose debris that enter SCP-5613-C from the upstream end will be instantly teleported inside the western end of SCP-5613-C, and any loose debris that exit SCP-5613-C downstream will instantly be instantly teleported outside the western end of SCP-5613-C.
Free-swimming complex organisms appear to be unable to survive the passage through SCP-5613-C, and their corpses are deposited outside the western end. The effect of SCP-5613-C only applies to that which is in contact with the water of the wadi itself, and those on its banks or suspended above it are immune to its effects.
Unlike SCP-5613-A and SCP-5613-B, SCP-5613-C goes through no changes during Akhnai Events. It is grouped alongside them because of geographical proximity and certain historical factors.

Akhnai Events are triggered on certain occasions when a debate occurs in the region demarcated by Containment Site-5613. Requirements for an Akhnai Event occurence include:

that the debate features a majority opinion and a minority opinion
that holders of the minority opinion believe themselves to be "put upon" or "targeted" by the majority
that holders of the majority opinion consider appeal to authority to be a logical fallacy
that the debate has an objectively correct answer6
the debate grows heated7

Alongside the previously listed effects of an Akhnai Event, the triggering debate will continue and increase in vitriol until every holder of the minority opinion is removed from the site. Attempted mediators will without exception be drawn into the debate, in all recorded cases joining the side of the majority opinion. When an Akhnai Event lasts longer than three solar hours8, the likelihood of violence increases dramatically, as holders of the minority opinion sometimes develop anomalous abilities. This stage is to be avoided at all costs.
Discovery:
SCP-5613 was first contained in 1863 by the Sihirlerin Taburi9. After the First World War, the Sihirlerin Taburi was disbanded and all of its holdings in the Mandate of Palestine came under the auspices of Her Majesty's Foundation for the Secure Containment of the Paranormal (HMFSCP), which was incorporated in its entirety into the modern Foundation. The records of the Sihirlerin Taburi were largely lost during the turmoil of World War I, so it is unclear how they first came across SCP-5613, but it is known to have existed substantially longer than than according to ancient records (see Historical Incidents A and B).
Incidents:

Historical Incident A
Historical Incident B
Post-Containment Incident A
Post-Containment Incident B

Incident Date: Approx. 12th century BCE

Incident Description: This incident is the earliest known Akhnai Event, found in only one record. According to the account10, a local Danite warrior by the name of Shimshon fell in love with a woman by the name of Delilah in the Wadi Sorek region, and the woman betrayed him to the Philistine officials in the region. The Philistines then proceeded to mock and abuse Shimshon for hours, up to the point where he grew enraged, acquired anomalous strength, and singlehandedly destroyed their place of worship.

Conclusions: Little can be concluded from this incident due to the lack of direct sources, but it does demonstrate that SCP-5613 long predates what was previously thought to be its origin.

Incident Date: Approx. 100 CE

Incident Description: Until relatively recently it was assumed that this incident was related to the origin of SCP-5613. It is told in the most detail and is the most important source for the Foundation's containment procedures. According to the account found in the Babylonian Talmud tractate Bava Metzia 59b, Rabbi Eliezer engaged in a debate with the majority of the Sanhedrin11 about the ritual purity of a certain type of layered oven. Even when overruled, Rabbi Eliezer refused to admit defeat, claiming his opinion to be the correct one. According to legend, he called upon the carob tree to jump, the river to flow backwards, the walls of the study hall to collapse, and the voice of God himself to come down from heaven, but the Sanhedrin accepted none of his miracles as evidence. Rabbi Eliezer was then excommunicated, and remained separated from the Sanhedrin until the death of Rabban Gamliel.

Conclusions: The parallels to SCP-5613 are beyond coincidence. Many of the Foundation's containment procedures are directly derived from here. RP-5613-A #1 was derived from Rabbi Yehoshua's reaction to the collapsing walls of the study hall, and Procedure 5613-Yovel was derived from rabbinic rites of excommunication. Even so, this telling of the story was likely exaggerated over the years, and Historical Incident-A shows that the incident of the oven was not the first Akhnai Event.

Incident Date: 16-5-1977

Incident Description: During the run-up to the 1977 ████████, a political argument broke out between Senior Researcher Menachem Levin and Junior Researcher Yosef Shriki. An Akhnai Event was triggered and Senior Researcher Levin was transfered to another project and Procedure 5613-Yovel was performed.

Conclusions: Prior to Post-Containment Incident A it was thought that Akhnai Events could only be triggered by debates with an objectively correct answer as opposed to value judgements, matters of taste, or competing desires.

Incident Date: 3-7-2014

Incident Description: Junior Researcher Shai Harkabi, assigned to SCP-5613-A, and Research Assistant Yusuf bin Sa‘id, assigned to SCP-5613-C, became engaged in an online argument in response to the ██████████ ██ █████ █████████ on 12 June 2014. Their argument thread grew to over eight hundred replies until an Akhnai Event was triggered. Since the argument was silent, it took over four hours to determine the holders of the minority and majority opinions, by which point Research Assistant bin Sa‘id's cell phone had increased in temperature to over seven hundred degrees Celsius. This led Research Assistant bin Sa‘id to be identified as the holder of the minority opinion, upon which he was transferred to another project and Procedure 5613-Yovel was performed.

Conclusions: Since the holders of minority and majority opinions instances were assigned to different areas, bin Sa‘id's anomalous ability was directed at his phone instead of at Harkabi. The current policy forbidding any and all debate, written or spoken, on the grounds of Containment Site-5613 was put in place in response to this incident.

+ Open Note from Site Director Leib — 3-5613 EYES ONLY

- Note opened. Your access has been logged.

Welcome to the valley.
When I was young, my parents sent me to yeshiva for a month. My father was a Soviet refugee, and my mother was a daughter of Auschwitz survivors. Both were avowed atheists. But when I was young, my parents sent me to yeshiva for a month. My father once told me that any god who let the Shoah happen was either dead or not worth worshiping. But when I was young, my parents sent me to yeshiva for a month.
I used to wonder why they did that. What could they possibly have wanted me to see there? What could I get there that I couldn't get at Herzliya Gymnasium? I sat there for a month, watching people as alien to me as I would be to the King of Jordan debate the meaning of obscure Aramaic clauses, slowly stewing in my own anger and confusion. I was an outsider there.
My parents were proud Jews. Yes, as I said before, they were avowed atheists. They were also proud Jews. Americans don't seem to understand this, but the divisions you make between religion, culture, heritage, ethnicity? They're all narishkeit. You have one identity — multifaceted but singular nonetheless. And that's how I realized what my parents wanted me to learn from yeshiva students.
All of the students at Yeshivat Beit Yeshurun agreed about that. Yet just what divine truth was, ah, that was a different question. I would see these kids — kids I, in my self-righteous ḥiloni way, had assumed thought the same, acted the same, just as they dressed the same — argue passionately, confidently, and loudly about their area of study. But what amazed me most of all was that when the session was over, they would line up and pray the afternoon service together. The debates in the study hall remained in the study hall — even ardent opposition would be left behind in pursuit of unity.
Traditional Jewish practice says that God is the utmost unity, the utmost truth. There is no unity like Divine unity, no truth like Divine truth. But Divine truth is not unity. No, on the contrary, it is as multifaceted a thing there is. As the old expression goes, “the Torah has seventy faces.” Science as a philosophical field is founded on the idea of finding the capital-T Truth, the one correct fact from a muddle of guesswork and disagreement. The Foundation certainly works that way — we argue to determine the truth, and wholeheartedly believe that we will stop arguing when we determine the truth. But that's not how people act, and I'm frankly not so sure if it's even what we should aspire to.
This valley is a place where arguments lead to fights, and fights lead to deaths. So what? That happens everywhere — in abusive homes, online, at high schools, in war zones. What's different here is just the visibility of it. What we have to remember, what this tilting wall, this hopping tree, remind us, is that we are struggling for the same goal. We have to remember that we are struggling for the same goal.
May the One who brings peace on high bring peace upon us as well. I'll see you Sunday.
—Director Aharon Leib

Footnotes
1. lit: What is your nature?
2. lit: Why do you rise against us?
3. lit: Do not involve yourselves!
4. "It's 70% sewage, so who would want to swim in it anyway?"
–Junior Researcher Harkabi.
5. A shofar (plural: shofarot) is a hollowed-out ram's horn used in Jewish ritual practice. In modern Jewish practice it is strictly used to announce the onset of the new year, but in ancient Judean culture it was used as an all-purpose alarm.
6. See Post-Containment Incident A
7. SCP-5613's definition of "heated" is unclear.
8. A solar hour is defined as one twelfth of the time between sunrise and sunset. Thus, in summer a solar hour is substantially longer than in winter.
9. literally: the Battalion of Magics. The Sihirlerin Taburi was the official paranormal agency of the late Ottoman Empire, founded by Sultan Mahmud II in 1828.
10. which can be found in ██████ 16
11. The highest court of rabbinic authority, at the time centered in Yavneh and headed by Rabban Gamliel the Younger, along with his second-in-command Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananiah.

« SCP-5612 | SCP-5613 | SCP-5614 »


This story contains indirect mentions of homophobia.

Item #: SCP-5615
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5615-1 and -2 as a whole are compliant in their containment, and as such, extensive procedures are currently unnecessary. Procedures have been set in place in the event that SCP-5615-1 or SCP-5615-2 breaches containment, whether willingly or not. If an SCP-5615 instance is revealed to the World of Warcraft community as a whole, a small disinformation campaign will be enacted, indicating that SCP-5615 instances are "smart NPCs" created by Activision Blizzard, Inc. using new technology.
SCP-5615-1 and SCP-5615-2 are currently contained within a small house located within the Eastern Plaguelands zone. By order of the Ethics Committee, SCP-5615 instances are allowed to explore the open world for two hours at a time, once a week. SCP-5615 instances are instructed to behave like non-anomalous NPCs in the presence of other players. During this time, SCP-5615 instances are not allowed near popular quest giver hubs, nor major capital cities. Amnestics are to be administered to witnesses as per standard protocol.
Foundation assets within Activision Blizzard, Inc. will assist SCP-5615-1 and -2 in concealing its presence to other Activision Blizzard, Inc. employees and dataminers. Information regarding the inner workings of Activision Blizzard and its work ethic can be found within attached file 000-03T.
Description: SCP-5615 is the designation for sapient informational-based entities found within the popular MMORPG (Multi-Player Online Roleplaying Game) World of Warcraft, initially developed by Blizzard Entertainment, currently being developed by Activision Blizzard, Inc. SCP-5615 instances take the form of NPCs (Non-Playable Characters) that are both capable of speaking and interacting with playable characters1, as well as limited manipulation of the game's files and data. SCP-5615 instances are aware that they are within a game and there are humans controlling the playable characters, but are not able to actively sense humans or the real world.
The only known SCP-5615 instances that are known to exist are SCP-5615-1 and SCP-5615-2. Both entities take the form of Human males, found within the US-based server titled "Hellscream." SCP-5615-1 goes by the name Johnny Goodall, while SCP-5615-2 goes by the name Aiden Goodall. Each entity is rarely seen without the other, and will always travel together if forced to relocate.
Addendum: SCP-5615-1 and -2 were discovered on December 17th, 2013, during World of Warcraft's fourth expansion pack titled Mists of Pandaria. However, SCP-5615-2 claims that they have existed since the game's initial launch back in 2004. SCP-5615-1 and -2 were discovered during a routine scan of the integrity of the game's files by Foundation staff as part of a project in detecting anomalies within popular multiplayer games. Initially, SCP-5615-1 and -2's movements were forcefully restricted until proper containment could be established, before SCP-5615-2 announced its desire to stay concealed.
Using a player character controlled by Dr. Heisman, an interview was conducted with both entities.

[BEGIN LOG]
SCP-5615-1 and -2 are discovered within a small cave in the East side of a zone called "Duskwood", a forest that is infamous for its dark atmosphere. Both entities are standing over the corpse of a spider monster they had killed shortly prior. Dr. Heisman is stationed outside of the cave, using a stealth ability.
SCP-5615-1: Yeesh. Even though it doesn't hurt, still a pain in the ass to kill shit. Can we even die? Or are we just worrying for nothing?
SCP-5615-2: I haven't been alive for long enough to want to test that. My educated guess is "maybe", only because other NPCs come back after a while.
SCP-5615-1: Well, my problem is we're not really normal NPCs…
Dr. Heisman: Excuse me, Mr. and Mr. Goodall.
Both entities turn towards Dr. Heisman.
SCP-5615-2: Fuckin hell…
SCP-5615-2 attempts to manipulate the games data to remove Heisman from the area by teleporting them to a nearby graveyard. Heisman instantly teleports their character back to the cave using an administrator console.
Dr. Heisman: I'm super sorry for intruding. I just wanted to ask you two a couple of questions.
Silence
SCP-5615-2: Do you know this guy?
SCP-5615-1: No, he's a player, he ain't one of us. Right, jeez, thought this day would come. Before you go and tell everybody and get us rooted out and, well, patched out and all, could you at least put in a good word for me?
Dr. Heisman: Don't worry, don't worry, lips are sealed. Not to beat around the bush, and I don't want this to sound creepy, but I've noticed that you two are… different from other NPCs, in the past. My main observation is that you two are, to be blunt, hiding yourselves from players. And are, you know, intelligent.
Silence
SCP-5615-2: May I speak to my, uh, friend here for a second.
Dr. Heisman: Absolutely.
Both entities retreat deeper into the cave.
SCP-5615-2: Johnny, I don't think we have a choice. If he's malicious, we're fucked no matter the answer we give him. But there's a chance he's telling the truth and won't out us to the internet or whatever.
SCP-5615-1: If we leave right now, what proof does he have?
SCP-5615-2: He could take a screenshot of our conversation, he can easily access that kinda information.
SCP-5615-1: People'll think it's fake.
SCP-5615-2: He could livestream it.
Silence
SCP-5615-1: What if he's livestreaming now…
SCP-5615-2: Well, then we're just fucked.
SCP-5615-1: Just? No we did that like a week ago.
Silence
SCP-5615-2: You're lucky that I like you.
SCP-5615-1 laughs. Both entities return to Heisman's character
SCP-5615-2: Okay, we'll bite.
Dr. Heisman: Great! This will take no time at all, so bare with me here. Like I said, I only have a couple of questions for you two.
SCP-5615-1: Am I applying for a job or something?
SCP-5615-2: Ahem.
SCP-5615-1: I know, I know, don't be ornery.
Dr. Heisman: The main thing I wish to know before we move forward: what specifically are you hiding?
Silence
SCP-5615-1: Don't have to be so blunt about it, damn.
Silence
SCP-5615-2: We're hiding the fact that we're sentient.
SCP-5615-1 turns towards SCP-5615-2 and back towards Heisman's character
SCP-5615-1: Er, yeah. That.
Dr. Heisman: I see… well, any particularly reason why?
SCP-5615-2: We're a very quiet and introverted bunch. Our sentience would alert every player in this game, basically a huge giant billboard saying "Hey, check out this cool thing the game developers developed!" Just… all the attention in general, it makes us anxious. We'd rather be left alone.
SCP-5615-1: Shit's scary. I can't feel pain but I can absolutely feel anxiety, and hoo boy, lemme tell ya, very miserable state of being. Any little hint that we've been found out and it feels like I swallowed an ice cold stone and it's stuck in my esophagus.
Dr. Heisman: O….kay. I sort of want to ask how you know what that feels like, considering your… state.
SCP-5615-1: I just kinda… know, you know?
Dr. Heisman: …anyway, as you two can probably tell, I have the capabilities of a Game Master2 and a whole lot more. Is there anything I could do to alleviate any problems you're having? Because, like you said, you two are practically human, and it pains me to see you two miserable.
SCP-5615-1: Well, no offense but that's like, an incredibly suspicious way of talkin'.
SCP-5615-2: Again, Johnny, I think we gotta take the risk. You and me both know you don't want to be on the front page of… some internet website about Warcraft news or whatever.
SCP-5615-1: Right. Yeah…
SCP-5615-2: There's a couple of options we'd prefer…
Dr. Heisman: Just to be absolutely clear, these options need to require that you are completely secluded from the general public. Not just for your sake. Nobody must know your true nature.
SCP-5615-2: What makes you say that?
Dr. Heisman: I'm unfortunately not at liberty to tell you. But I hope you can infer from context.
Silence.
SCP-5615-1: Oh, like the movie with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.
Dr. Heisman: …yeah let's go with that. Now, please continue.
SCP-5615-2: Number one is let us have a server to ourselves, completely empty of players.
Silence
Dr. Heisman: I don't think we can do that.
SCP-5615-1: Hm? Why not?
Dr. Heisman: You see, I don't work for the game company… I don't really want them to know I have this kind of power. Plus, hosting an entire server would, you know, attract attention from them. And once they know you exist, it's over. Editing your own code can only get you so far once you're that cornered.
SCP-5615-2 sighs.
SCP-5615-2: Right. Option two is give us access to a part of the map that is completely inaccessible to players, but I'd rather be able to, you know, walk around for a little bit. Stretch my legs, pick a flower, slay a monster or two. But knowing you lot…
Dr. Heisman: I know some friends higher up the chain that could arrange something.
Silence
SCP-5615-2: Can I speak to my friend here? Again?
Dr. Heisman: Go ahead.
Both entities retreat deeper into the cave once again.
SCP-5615-2: Do you also feel like we're being sweet talked into being locked up?
SCP-5615-1: Yeah. But really now, what are our options? Think about it. You know for certain if they find out, there will be a shitstorm of biblical proportions. Once the game devs find us out, they won't just lock us up, they will kill us. We weren't intended to be in this game. They'll, at best, see us as an unauthorized changed made by an intern and remove us. Plus, if we say no, they'll lock us up anyway, cuz they're men in black types.
SCP-5615-2: Right… right. Ugh, this sucks.
SCP-5615-1: With you, being locked in a cell doesn't sound so bad.
SCP-5615-2: Oh shut it.
Both entities chuckle and return to Heisman's character.
SCP-5615-2: We've made our choice. We choose the second option, considering it's the only one we have.
Dr. Heisman: Right. I'll let my superiors know. I will contact you soon.
Heisman's character turns around and starts running away from the cave for a few seconds before stopping and turning back around.
Dr. Heisman: I promise you, we aren't unnecessarily cruel.
SCP-5615-1: We'll be the judge of that.
Heisman's character turns back around and completely leaves the area. Once out of sight, Heisman instantly logs out of their character and logs back into a new one, who is a Warlock class. Once logged in, Heisman teleports their character to near the cave, out of sight of the entities, and casts an ability called "Eye of Kilrogg." This ability allows the user to scout areas using a controllable floating eye that is invisible to other players and enemies. Heisman controls this Eye of Kilrogg back to outside the cave.
SCP-5615-1: You think he bought it?
Silence
SCP-5615-1: Probably not. He's a scientist probably, he's not dumb.
SCP-5615-2: It doesn't seem like he knew. Also, are you sure you want to, y'know, take walks outside once our new home is made? Isn't that what we're avoiding? I know I just blurted that out when talking to him but…
Silence
SCP-5615-2: I guess it was brewing inside my subconscious for a while, because I said it without hesitation.
SCP-5615-1: Yeah…
Silence
SCP-5615-1: Y'know what? So what if they find out? Hell, maybe I want them to find out!
SCP-5615-2: What are you going on about now?
SCP-5615-1: I don't want to just sit on our ass, moving behind trees, hiding in bushes, just to hide what we can't control. Shit's been pissing me off, and I've had enough. We'll live our best life, and they'll prod us, poke us, bully us, but that won't stop us. We need to show them that they don't have any power over us.
SCP-5615-2: You've had this speech saved up for a while now, huh? Heh.
SCP-5615-1: A lot longer than you'd think.
SCP-5615-2: Nah, I've probably had that thought before you did.
SCP-5615-1: Nuh uh.
SCP-5615-2: Yuh huh.
Silence
SCP-5615-1: I dunno. That was dramatic, I know, I told that speech like a peasant during the French Revolution but like… all I'm saying is, any vile they can spew at us is not even nearly enough to stop me from loving you. As long as I'm with you, it's like a freakin forcefield, throwing that shit aside.
SCP-5615-2: D'aw… you're so cute when you get excited, y'know that?
SCP-5615-1: I… I ain't cute. I'm manly.
SCP-5615-2: As manly as a kitten.
SCP-5615-1: Hey, they'll tear your face off if you let 'em!
Silence
SCP-5615-1: I love you, babe.
SCP-5615-2: Love you too.
[END LOG]

Shortly after this transpired, the current containment procedures were enacted. Since containment, both entities have reported a more stable mental state.

Footnotes
1. This is accomplished via the ingame chat system. SCP-5615 instances will always use the "/say" and "/yell" commands to speak.
2. Staff members for Activision Blizzard, Inc who are responsible for resolving issues involving the game.

« SCP-5614 | SCP-5615 | SCP-5616 »


Item#: 5617

Level3

Containment Class:
keter

Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}

Disruption Class:
keneq

Risk Class:
caution

link to memo

Artwork recovered from the victim of an SCP-5617 incident

Containment Procedures: SCP-5617 is currently uncontained and its location unknown. All attempts to locate and contain SCP-5617 have resulted in failure. Containment procedures are being generated continuously should SCP-5617 choose to appear to Foundation personnel and staff.
Description: SCP-5617 is a humanoid anomaly with a head resembling a North American grizzly bear. Its jaw is supported by exactly four progressively rusted steel bars. The interior of its mouth is pitch black aside from an indistinct blue glow emanating from within. Five pale claw mark scars sit diagonally across its left eye.
SCP-5617 is hypothesized to (definitively by first hand encounters and reports) display the identity of a deceased human being. The deceased members are heard from by loved ones or their living counterparts only one or two times in their residence within SCP-5617. The following effects are included in visual, audible, and physical interactions with SCP-5617:

Using wind currents to create an indistinct but familiar speaking voice
A feeling of familiarity induced within approximately three meters from SCP-5617
A body temperature of approximately 37 Celsius when physically interacting
Involuntary tears

SCP-5617 is not inherently malicious, but is unable to be contained due to its method of transport. When it decides its interaction is complete, SCP-5617 will deconstruct into a luminescent blue vapor. This has been confirmed by multiple incident reports from those in contact with SCP-5617. Timelines between each interaction show that SCP-5617 can appear approximately 3.5 kilometers in distance from its previous location.
The current motives of SCP-5617 range from a final meeting with a loved one to assisting Iota-10 operatives in solving cases that have otherwise fallen cold in years prior. It leaves clues at locations it knows Iota-10 will arrive at or come across. The motives of SCP-5617's host, however, is regarded as “protection of souls from a fate worse than his own” (quoted from Detective Cameron Oliver, henceforth referred to as PoI-5617, in an interview). It is unsure exactly how many identities reside within SCP-5617, and it is believed that new identities are being contained within SCP-5617 constantly.

+ Discovery Log

- Close

SCP-5617 was discovered by The Foundation through Detective PoI-5617 at CPI Investigations in San Diego, California. He had done several reports on SCP-5617 and assisted on criminal cases following the reported appearances of SCP-5617. Several years of research had gone into locating SCP-5617 by the detective himself. Mobile Task Force Iota-10 was quickly dispatched in order to confiscate records of SCP-5617's appearances and any known locations.

The following addendums are research logs and personal encounters recorded by Detective PoI-5617. Mobile Task Force Iota-10 has since been dispatched on several instances to confiscate PoI-5617's records.

+ Addendum SCP-5617-1

- Close

The following is the first recorded entry of SCP-5617 by PoI-5617 in July of 2001.
I have to write what happened. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't sleep. How did I talk to Rose? I mean, it wasn't really her. Was it? It just felt so familiar. I thought I was just hearing things when the wind whispered at me, but now I'm not so sure. She asked me how he died. She wanted to see the note I wrote him. And when I touched her… or… it, it felt so warm. So familiar. I had tears, and I didn't even know I was crying before. It just felt so comfortable. I'll find it again. I have to. No matter how long it takes.

+ Addendum SCP-5617-2

- Close

January 23, 2007
To whom it may concern,
Due to the radical conspiracies our student, Cameron Oliver, has been writing multiple reports about and has been researching constantly, his grades and attendance have decreased significantly. He has been seen sneaking off of campus multiple times past curfew. He has also been escorted back by both campus and state police officers on multiple accounts of trespassing and thievery. With that being said, we here at California State University are issuing a permanent dismissal from our San Diego campus.
This kind of behavior will not be tolerated on our campus. We suspect there may be a mental deficiency inhibiting him from accelling in our programs. He keeps speaking of a creature named “Soul” who holds the spirits of the dead, and he claims they can speak to others. He also tells people he has seen them first hand. We are worried about his mental state, and hope that this note gets to you in good health.
With the proper care for his mental health and a further check in with psychiatric facilities, we may consider reimbursing him back into our criminal justice program. Until then, we wish you and him the best of luck.
Sincerely,
Charles B. Reed
Principal of California State University
This note was found wrinkled and torn around the edges. The damage was quickly assumed to have been created by PoI-5617, as he had no living family at the time of the letter's creation.

+ Addendum SCP-5617-3

- Close

The following is a series of notes written by PoI-5617 on the scene of crimes in which SCP-5617 was reported to have been spotted.
- Hysterics
- Begging
- Crying
- Exact description of Soul
Conclusion: She definitely saw them. Where they are now, I don't know. This is the third case of Soul popping up this month alone. What's his objective?

+ Addendum SCP-5617-4

- Close

The following was discovered in PoI-5617's notebook as “one of the most intense” cases he claims to have ever been tasked to.
I can't come back from tonight. I don't even want to think about it, but the only way to get over it is to write it down.
When we got there, she was hysterical. And I mean, more than usual. She could barely breathe. She grabbed the leg of my pants and just begged me. I needed to believe her. I had done so much research on Soul, I had to believe her. Of course I did. So I sat and consoled her. She just kept begging and begging. I needed to tell them that Soul was real.
That's when she overheard them calling 911. She begged me to not let them take her, but she needed the help. My stomach ached. I knew what it was like to not be believed. She just stood up. The window was already opened. I couldn't save her. I couldn't even move.
Everyone was so frantic. I wanted to be able to help her. To tell her they were real. They are real. I never got the chance.
The last thing I remember her telling me was, “I'll be with him soon”. She had spoken to her husband through Soul. If I ever meet her again, be it through Soul or my own death, it'll be too late to apologize for not being there.
Never again.

+ Incident Report PoI-5617

- Close

PoI-5617 was found deceased in his office chair the morning of June 25th, 2021. Security footage confiscated by Iota-10 shows PoI-5617 speaking with SCP-5617 at 2:15 AM after a late night investigation. He seems frantic and delusional as he speaks to SCP-5617. SCP-5617 remains still for the duration of the footage. At 2:25 AM, the footage cuts directly from their conversation to PoI-5617 sitting in his office chair, dead. Autopsy reports claim there was no sign of any cause of death. Foundation Personnel have no confirmed causes themselves. A number of personnel who worked closely researching SCP-5617, including Iota-10 officers, theorize SCP-5617 has taken PoI-5617's identity. No conclusions have been made to the real cause of PoI-5617's death or if SCP-5617 has his identity.

+ SCP-5617 Incident Gallery

- Close

The following image is a sketch drawn by a witness of SCP-5617 during an investigation PoI-5617 assisted on. It was handed to him before the witness was apprehended for further questioning on the incident.

Artwork given to PoI-5617 during an on site investigation

Note from Iota-10: Any visual pieces of incidents including SCP-5617 are to be immediately confiscated and placed within SCP-5617's file.

« SCP-5616 | SCP-5617 | SCP-5618 »


N/A

▸ More by this Author ◂

{$comments2}

F.A.Q.

{$doesthisfixthebug}

Item #: SCP-5619
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5619-A and B are kept together in a secure anomalous items locker.
PoI-5619-A and B are considered Low-risk and allowed to continue living amongst the general public.
Description: SCP-5619 consists of two ceramic drinking mugs (SCP-5619-A and B). SCP-5619-A is painted white and adorned with golden accents in the shape of a cat's ears, nose, and mouth. SCP-5619-B is painted black, and covered in tiny silver specs resembling stars, with the phrase “Witch's Brew” written on the front.
When boiled water is poured into either SCP-5619-A or B, the liquid will instead appear inside the opposing instance, filling until reaching close to the mug's brim. Any excess water will fill the original mug as normal. Additional liquids and other common hot beverage ingredients (Milk, sugar, honey, etc) will also transfer if placed into either mug. Anomalous properties will not occur while SCP-5619-A or B contain non-edible substances such as soap or other cleaning products.
While both SCP-5619-A and B contain drinkable liquids and are each held by a different person, subjects will visually perceive the other individual to be five feet away from them, as if there in person. This phenomenon is entirely intangible and inaudible, ending once subjects cease contact with SCP-5619-A or B, or when either mug becomes empty of its contents.
Discovery Log: SCP-5619-A and B were discovered in separate locations, a small apartment in ██████, United States (SCP-5619-A), and a one-story house in ██████, United Kingdom (SCP-5619-B). The Foundation was alerted to the anomaly following the detection of near-identical thaumaturgic frequencies in both respective locations. Further inspection confirmed the phenomena to have been occurring regularly in both locations over a span of four years.
The former occupants of each location were found to have moved out several weeks prior. Both parties (Poi-5619-A and B) were later discovered living together in a two-person apartment in █████, United States.

« SCP-5618 | SCP-5619 | SCP-5620 »


Item #: SCP-5622
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Any information regarding the current whereabouts of SCP-5622-A are to be investigated by a Foundation detective. Following the events of Addendum 5622-5, the computer storing SCP-5622 is to be contained within an inanimate object containment unit. If any non-human entity is observed within 5583 Custobidus Street or SCP-5622-A's previous prison cell, SCP-5622's containment procedures, and description are to be revised to note the aforementioned entity.
Description: SCP-5622 is a digital folder labeled "Your Indoor Neighbor", stored within a Dell XPS 13 laptop. SCP-5622 contains a series of Word documents referred to as SCP-5622-1, which are written in a standard letter format. The apparent narrator of SCP-5622-1 resides within 5583 Custobidus Street, Syracuse, NY. Although no physical proof of the aforementioned narrator exists, research staff are reminded that the events within Addendum 5622-1, 3, 4, and 5 would imply otherwise.
SCP-5622-A is a non-anomalous human female by the name “Analiese Gilowski” and is the previous owner of 5583 Custobidus Street, and the computer in which SCP-5622 exists.
Recovery Log: SCP-5622-A contacted their local police station, complaining of a stalker within their place of residence. The call was deemed a false police report and SCP-5622-A was charged with a misdemeanor. Two weeks proceeding this event, SCP-5622-A contacted the police again. A human femur was found within 5583 Custobidus Street and SCP-5622-A was arrested and interrogated. Being found guilty of first-degree murder, they were sent to Groveland Correctional Facility and remained incarcerated until the events of Addendum 5622-5. The nature of the breach drew the Foundation's attention, and SCP-5622 was discovered after a thorough investigation.
Addendum 5622-1:
The following entries are the remaining SCP-5622-1 files. The context within the files indicates that there were additional manifestations, although they were likely deleted by either SCP-5622-A or SCP-5622 itself. Succeeding SCP-5622-A‘s initial contact to their police station, they downloaded a webcam software that takes photographs while the laptop is unlocked.

Entry 5622-1

Hide Entry 5622-1

Dear Anny,
I was scared you had patched up the hole behind the fridge. Sometimes I just lay there until my teeth start chattering. I try not to let you hear, but I think you do anyway. You left some old fruit out in a bin yesterday. I didn't think you'd miss it, so I spread my fingers in it. It was fun, just mashing my fingers in the old fruit, but then it started smelling really bad and I stopped.
Oh! I almost forgot! Today I found a mouse in one of your traps. He was still alive, so I got a chance to play with him before he started stinking. I left it on your cupboard so you could play with it too when you have the time. I wish you had the time to play as you used to when you were scared. Remember those times where you would spend hours looking for me around the house? Why don't we do that anymore?
Wishing we could play,
Your Indoor Neighbor

Entry 5622-2

Hide Entry 5622-2

Dear Anny,
You do odd things sometimes. Like how you sleep under your covers now. Like how you have stopped reading my little letters. It's actually kind of rude, but I don't mind. It's like our little secret, except it's just mine I suppose. That's kind of the same with a lot of things. That dead mouse was meant for you, but eventually, it got dirty and I couldn't resist. That one will be our little secret.
Speaking of little secrets, I just can't keep this from you any longer. Oooh! This is so fun! Do you remember when you had that one guy over? Terrible manners, but you do have an odd choice in guests. When I saw him come in I was scared. What was I going to do? What if he found me? I was scared. I was going to hurt him, but any friend of yours is a friend of mine. I watched him talk to you. It got really quiet, and then you shook your head, and he was screaming, and you were crying. And then he left, and you threw a little box he gave you on the ground. Then, I knew he wasn't your friend.
The weirdest thing was, he didn't really even struggle once he was under the porch! He squirmed, of course, but he was crying more than anything. Well, once you went up to the bed, I snuck him inside, and then I squeezed him into the vent. Do you know how you save things for eating sometimes, and you put them in the fridge? Well, I had no fridge, so I made do with what I had. The smell did get bad, but I think it added a nice aura to the place that you were somewhat missing before.
I hope you like the smell too,
Your Indoor Neighbor

Entry 5622-3

Hide Entry 5622-3

Dear Anny,
I was trying to balance a tooth on my finger, but then I heard a strange noise. I took the long way down to the main floor. Good thing too, because I could see you tearing apart the vent with an ax. I thought you needed it. You do strange things sometimes. You seemed upset when you finally got through, which seems a bit weird, as you seemed so intent on getting into it anyway. Some strange men came inside and took you away. I was scared you were never coming back. I was scared I would go back to how I was without you. I was almost about to finish the last of the bones when I remembered that you will be back. You'll come back.
I just noticed this flashing light on the laptop. I'm going to try covering it up with my hand. I can still see the red through my fingers. Is the red light why you've been so upset?
I'm here whenever you need me,
Your Indoor Neighbor

Addendum 5622-2: SCP-5622-A has been incarcerated for being guilty of first-degree murder. Their testimony to convince the jury otherwise was deemed false; the information is insufficient to either prove or disprove the existence of the "Indoor Neighbor".
Addendum 5622-3: The following document was found stored on the prison's Head Officer's work computer. They dismissed it as a prank.

Dear guardian,
I remember those grocery bags Anny used to bring in. When it rained, sometimes the bags would break and everything would spill out and make a mess. I am that bag. You don't understand, I need her. I'll go back to how I was before her, a monster, no, a murderer. If you don't give her back, I will make your home mine. I will find her. You can't hide her. She's scared of you. I can smell it from here.
From,
Your Indoor Neighbor

Addendum 5622-4: SCP-5622-A made several complaints of a putrid smell emanating from their cell's ventilation system. Subsequent investigation revealed a human femur with some residual soft tissue at the base of the shaft feeding SCP-5622-A's cell. Genetic testing of the femur is ongoing.
Addendum 5622-5: SCP-5622-A breached security and has not been located. Security cameras within SCP-5622-A's hallway were cut two days prior to the event and were being replaced the next day. No traces of SCP-5622-A's escape exist, save for two screws missing from their ventilation grate, and the following audio file, captured from a neighboring cell.

Begin Log:
Unidentified Voice: Hello Anny.
[A metalic impact is heard]
SCP-5622-A: Who- what the hell?
Unidentified Voice: I have waited so long to finally meet you in person.
SCP-5622-A: What the hell? Help please!
Unidentified Voice: I hope that we can still stay friends after I let you be kidnapped and all, but you did keep me waiting for a long time. Now we have all the time we need!
SCP-5622-A: No, no, please. Leave me alone.
Unidentified Voice: You have no idea how much I've wanted a friend like you.
SCP-5622-A: Help me!
[A similar metallic impact is heard, proceeding several receding thuds]
End Log

Recovered webcam image has been appended to this file. Would you like to view?

Hide webcam image

« SCP-5621 | SCP-5622 | SCP-5623 »


Item #: SCP-5623
Object Class: Pending
Special Containment Procedures: All deep-space observatories are to be monitored by remote sensing and imaging satellites in low Earth orbit.
The production and trade of new deep-space telescopes and satellites has been limited to companies where a sufficient number of undercover Foundation personnel are present in order to successfully implant a Binary_Star.aic file in all related hardware.
All images of SCP-5623 are to be intercepted by the Foundation AI "Binary Star", saved in the Foundation database, and subsequently deleted from public records. Those who witness the anomaly are to be administered Class B amnestics.
Description: SCP-5623 is the first extraterrestrial spacecraft observed by the Foundation and was discovered 54 years before the first manmade spacecraft1 and 57 years before the first manned spacecraft2 existed. SCP-5623 has a frame in the form of an oblate spheroid with an outer chamber on the bottom side which presumably serves as a control room.
Discovery: On 28 August 1903, Foundation Astronomers observed SCP-5623 near the Orion Nebula in the Milky Way Galaxy through a telescope.
SCP-5623 has not been sighted since its discovery by any telescope or spatial equipment. Other cosmic phenomena have led Foundation Astronomers to hypothesize that SCP-5623 was pulled in by the gravity of a red dwarf star and upon impact, ceased to exist alongside the star.
The proposal to change its object class to neutralized is still pending.

Insert Level 4 Credentials

Footnotes
1. The first satellite, Sputnik 1 was launched on 4 October 1957.
2. The first manned spaceflight took place on 12 April 1961 when Yuri Gagarin was launched as part of the Vostok 1 mission.

« SCP-5622 | SCP-5623 | SCP-5624 »


A non-anomalous copy of SCP-5624

Item#: SCP-5624
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5624 is to be kept in a standard containment locker at Site-59. Experimentation is permitted with approval from Director Naismith. As of 5/20/21, SCP-5624 is not to be scanned with photographs under any circumstances.
Description: SCP-5624 is a 2 cm x 6 cm paper cutout depicting a small grayscale caricature of a man with glasses. Analysis of SCP-5624 has indicated that the image was made with an inkjet printer; however, inkjet copies of SCP-5624 do not possess the original anomalous effects.
When SCP-5624 is laid over another image with a computer scanner, the resulting scan will have altered the original image's content.
This effect is most prominent in comic strips, or any other image depicting at least two "characters." The presence of SCP-5624 will nullify any conflict between the characters, or introduce some new aspect of wholesomeness and gratitude. In order for this to occur, SCP-5624 must be superimposed in the image's negative space.
Recovery Log: SCP-5624 was brought to the Foundation's attention from the Tumblr webcomic "Mr. Goodtimes & the Quest for Multiversal Peace," a series of newspaper comic strips altered by SCP-5624. Following an investigation, the blog was shut down, the owner was amnesticized, and SCP-5624 was confiscated.
Addendum 1 — Examples of SCP-5624 alterations from the original website

Strip series
Original Content
SCP-5624 placement
Result

The Lockhorns
Leroy Lockhorn sits in his recliner. Loretta Lockhorn complains. Caption: "I call this sculpture: 'Disappointment in Repose.'"
The space directly to the right of Loretta.
Leroy and Loretta embrace, smiling and crying. Loretta speaks. Caption: "God, we're a mess, aren't we? But I wouldn't have it any other way."

Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin's father returns home during winter. Several sculptures of murdered snowmen are in the yard, while a snow-wizard sculpture laughs maniacally. Calvin's father thinks to himself: "I don't think they're assigning Calvin enough homework."
In the snow next to the family car.
Calvin and his father work together on a gorier snowman display. Calvin remarks: "Don't forget the entrails. Snowstradamus likes to make an example of his enemies." Calvin's father thinks to himself: "I don't know what I was missing!"

Garfield
Jon calls one of his dates on the telephone. Getting rejected, he hangs up the phone and sobs. Garfield thinks to himself: "Maybe the 407th call was overdoing it."
Central panel, behind Jon.
Jon says "…actually, never mind, I'm not interested." on the phone in the first panel. After hanging up, he hugs Garfield, saying "Who needs dating? I got all the love I need right here." Garfield smiles and thinks "Darn right you do."

Peanuts
Snoopy sits on top of his doghouse and pretends he's fighting the Red Baron in World War I.
In the sky next to Snoopy.
Snoopy shakes hands with an identical dog wearing a pickelhaube, narrating: "Having finally brokered peace with Kaiser Wilhelm II, our hero returns home with hope in his heart for a brighter future. The World rejoices at an end to the years of senseless bloodshed that have engulfed Europe. " In the background, Lucy can be seen allowing Charlie Brown to kick the football.

Addendum 2 — Examples of SCP-5624 alterations from Foundation experimentation

Image
Original Content
SCP-5624 placement
Result

A photocopy of Judith and Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi
Judith and a servant woman work together to decapitate Holofernes, who is sleeping, with a knife.
In the background.
A weeping and repentant Holofernes kneels to Judith, laying down his weapons at her feet (presumably to apologize for trying to destroy her hometown of Bethulia). Judith, also weeping, places a merciful hand on his shoulder.

A photocopy of a World War I propaganda poster
"DESTROY THIS MAD BRUTE" — a snarling ape wears a helmet labeled "MILITARISM" and brandishes a bloody club labeled "KULTUR" while carrying off a half-naked woman — "ENLIST — US ARMY"
In the background.
"BE NICE TO APES" — a smiling ape wears a helmet labeled "APE HAT" and holds a submarine sandwich while a half-naked woman combs his fur — "THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST"

A photograph of D-59183 and D-29387, taken at Site-59 on 5/19/21, taken for the purpose of experimentation with SCP-5624.
As instructed, D-59183 and D-29387 stand next to each other in an empty room.
The space to the left of D-59183.
D-59183 is dead, and D-29387 kneels next to his corpse, sobbing. [See Addendum 3]

Addendum 3 - Moratorium on Photographic Testing
On 5/20/21, immediately following the scan of the photograph with SCP-5624, D-59183 was found dead in his cell. Cause of death was determined to be drowning in black ink. Despite confirmed reports of D-59813 having reported for other experiments two hours prior, the state of decomposition indicated that he had been dead for at least 17 hours — since the time the photograph was taken.

Date: 5/20/21
Interviewer: Researcher Charlton
Interviewed: D-29387
<begin log>
Charlton: We'd like to ask you a few questions regarding the photograph yesterday.
[D-29387 trembles at the mention of the photograph, remaining silent. His breathing becomes quicker.]
Charlton: If you do not cooperate with—
D-29387: Fuck off, you know what happened. You were there when the picture was taken.
Charlton: I was, but I was not in the picture. You were. We have reason to believe that what you saw, and what I saw, are two different things.
D-29387: So you think I'm insane?
Charlton: I don't have the right degree on my wall to make that decision. No judgments are being made here — all the same, you're not leaving this room until we have your version of events.
D-29387: Goddammit. Okay, fine. Where are we starting?
Charlton: Of the two of you who came into the photograph —
[D-29387 breaks down, sobbing.]
Charlton: …I suppose this means you're aware of what happened to D-59813.
D-29387: Brad.
Charlton: The names of D-class are confidential.
D-29387: He told me.
Charlton: Records indicate that the time you and D-59— Brad knew each other begun at the time of the shooting, and you had no contact prior. And yet — were you close?
D-29387: He's the only reason I made it out of there.
Charlton: The room where the photograph took place?
D-29387: No. The place we were pulled into. I thought you would have seen that part, at least.
Charlton: That's why we want to know what you saw.
D-29387: I'm not sure how much time went by. By the time we broke out, only an instant had passed — but I swear it was a few months, at least. Apparently some of the other people there were still waiting to get out of the lake on their own, once Mr. Goodtimes "approved" — Brad taught me how to fight my way out instead. He even tried to attack Goodtimes himself on the way out — didn't go too well, obviously.
Charlton: Can you tell me more about this "lake"?
[D-29387 hesitates.]
D-29387: …gimme a minute. I'm still raw from all this.
Charlton: Take your time. Maybe changing the subject would help - who was "Mr. Goodtimes?" Was he a man with glasses?
[D-29387 nods.]
Charlton: Did he look like a —
D-29387: Cartoon character. No anger in his voice, just said he was "here to help" and dragged us into his little lake — smiling the whole time. The lake was… cold. Wet. The ground was covered in this thick layer of black mud that stained our clothes. Sky was pure white. Smelled like newspaper and blood. No horizon, just more black and white. The mud felt solid beneath our feet, but the more we walked forward, the more it pulled us in, and the arms kept coming and…
[D-29387 hesitates, breaking into a cold sweat.]
…look, I never knew Brad before all this went down. But you work that hard to get out of the lake with someone for that long, and he's gonna be the brother you never knew you had. All the problems you had outside the lake don't matter no more, there's only the fight to escape — and all the dreams of what you'll do once you break out.
Though sometimes, when I put it that way, I feel we played right into Goodtimes's little lesson plan.
Charlton: Which is?
D-29387: "Be good to each other. Or die."
<End Log>

« SCP-5623 | SCP-5624 | SCP-5625 »