Item #: SCP-1059
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Documents known to be written by personnel infected with SCP-1059 are to be re-written by uninfected researchers. Personnel known to be infected with SCP-1059 are to be treated with counter-memetic therapy and removed from duty until they show no further signs of infection. They are to afterwards be monitored for signs of relapse. Individuals outside the Foundation found to be carrying SCP-1059 are to be treated with Class-A amnestics if practical, or otherwise removed from positions where they can potentially infect others.
Description: SCP-1059 is a memetic compulsion to hide, censor, or otherwise obscure information when communicating with others. It is most prevalent in those already dealing with classified or sensitive material.
Infected subjects will, when conveying information, find that apparently random pieces of information will seem disproportionately important. This information will be treated as though it is at the highest level of classification the writer is familiar with. They will do so even after the information has been shown to be relatively harmless, or even vital to those reading the resulting material.
SCP-1059 is spread by reading infected material or discussion with infected individuals. Those most at risk are those still learning classification procedures. Infection can be easily prevented by maintaining a solid grounding in the rules and regulations governing classified material within the organization.
SCP-1059 was discovered at the National Security Agency when a discrepancy was noticed by Agent Jameson, a Foundation operative embedded in NSA headquarters in Ft. Meade, Maryland. Documents originating from certain offices were being classified at Top Secret, regardless of their actual content. After other possible causes were ruled out, further investigation showed several individuals were infected with a previously unknown memetic agent, which was eventually designated SCP-1059.
Addendum 1059-1: Improper handling of infected materials led to an outbreak of SCP-1059 within the Foundation. It has been difficult to track thus far, and a full audit of Foundation documents and staff is pending. So far, seventeen fatalities can be directly attributed to vital information expunged from containment procedures.
Addendum 1059-2: This document has demonstrated signs of SCP-1059 infection, and has been expanded to meet Foundation standards. Please see Document SCP-1059-A for previous version.

+ Document SCP-1059-A

- Document SCP-1059-A

Item #: SCP-1059
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Documents known to be written by personnel infected with SCP-1059 are to be re-written by uninfected researchers. Personnel known to be infected with SCP-1059 are to be treated with [REDACTED] and removed from duty until they show no further signs of infection. They are to afterwards be [DATA EXPUNGED]. Individuals outside the Foundation found to be carrying SCP-1059 are to be [DATA EXPUNGED], or otherwise removed from positions where they can potentially infect others.
Description: SCP-1059 is a memetic compulsion to hide, censor, or otherwise [REDACTED] information when communicating with others. It is most prevalent in those already dealing with classified or sensitive material.
Infected subjects will, when conveying information, find that apparently random pieces of information will seem disproportionately important. This information will be treated as though it is at the highest level of classification the writer is familiar with. They will do so even after the information has been shown to be relatively harmless, or even vital to those reading the resulting material.
SCP-1059 is spread by [REDACTED]. Those most at risk are those still learning classification procedures. Infection can be easily prevented by [DATA EXPUNGED].
SCP-1059 was discovered at the ████████ ████████ ██████ when a discrepancy was noticed by Agent ███████, a Foundation operative embedded in ███ headquarters in ██. █████, ████████. Documents originating from certain offices were being classified at Top Secret, regardless of their actual content. After other possible causes were ruled out, further investigation showed several individuals were infected with a previously unknown memetic agent, which was eventually designated SCP-1059.
Addendum 1059-1: Improper handling of infected materials led to [DATA EXPUNGED].

« SCP-1058 | SCP-1059 | SCP-1060 »


Item #: SCP-1060
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1060 is to be contained in a humanoid observation/detention cell at all times. During subject's daytime cycle, subject is to be provided with food items from the Site-33 cafeteria. During subject's nighttime cycle, subject is to be nourished with 0.8 kg of human placental material and provided with a basin of at least 4 liters of rice wine vinegar.
Description: SCP-1060 is a human female of Southeast Asian ethnicity, answering to the name of Adilah ████████. Subject is fluent in the Malay language and somewhat conversant in Malaysian English. In interviews during subject's daytime cycle, subject has indicated that she is 22 years of age, is trained as an obstetrics nurse and is unaware of any unusual aspects of her physiology. In these interviews, subject has expressed a lack of awareness of her nighttime cycle physiology or activities and protests that she merely sleeps at night. During the daytime cycle, subject frequently demands to be released from containment or to be permitted to contact family members.
During subject's daytime cycle, subject appears and behaves as a normal human female. During subject's nighttime cycle, which generally begins within 80 minutes after the subject falls asleep, subject's head and internal body organs (heart, lungs, liver and much of the digestive system and gut) detach from the rest of the subject's body with a sudden jerking motion, leaving a hole around the base of subject's neck. Subject's head and organs then levitate by means of an unknown process and freely float around the containment cell while subject's tongue—which increases to approximately 22 cm in length during this stage—flicks at the air in the manner of a snake. The remainder of subject's body remains lying in a resting position. Subject's upper and lower canine teeth also increase in length and sharpness during this stage. Under normal containment circumstances, subject will consume the provided placental material, using the dangling lengths of gut in the manner of prehensile limbs to lift the material to the subject's mouth. Following the feeding, the subject will dip the exposed organs into the vinegar, whereupon the organs shrink so that they can be stuffed back into the subject's body cavity. The head then reattaches to the body, leaving no visible seam or scar.
Addendum SCP-1060.01A Following Incident 1060.01, no pregnant females are to be admitted into the containment chamber during SCP-1060's nighttime cycle. During Incident 1060.01, Researcher Marilyn ██████, who at that time was in her second trimester of pregnancy, entered the containment chamber during subject's nighttime cycle to top off the basin of vinegar. Immediately upon SCP-1060's detection of Ms. ██████'s presence in the chamber, SCP-1060 flew at Ms. ██████ at a great rate of speed, then used lengths of prehensile gut to bind and immobilize Ms. ██████. Subject then bit the researcher in the abdomen and consumed the fetus in situ, together with most of the rest of the uterus and its contents.

« SCP-1059 | SCP-1060 | SCP-1061 »


Item #: SCP-1061
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1061 should be kept in a secured, climate-controlled garage. Its tires have been removed and should not be replaced for any reason. Its doors should be locked at all times and its windshield boarded up, unless testing is in progress. All experiments are to be performed within the garage.
Access to SCP-1061 is restricted to Level 4 personnel and to D-class personnel engaged in authorized testing. Aside from authorized testing, it is forbidden for anyone not seated in any of the passenger seats to make any contact with any part of the driver's seat; personnel who make contact with the driver's seat while not seated in any of the passenger seats become instances of SCP-1061-1, and are to be apprehended until such time as they can be used in approved testing. Removal of post-test biological waste from SCP-1061's interior is to be performed by robotic manipulators; no other maintenance is to be performed on SCP-1061.
Description: SCP-1061 is a dark red 1992 Pontiac Grand Am with severe collision damage, including a large hole in its driver's-side front windshield. It manifests three distinct anomalous properties; these properties are considered to be linked, in that they seem to be caused by the same anomalous entity.
The first anomalous property is that SCP-1061 is associated with several illusions. The collision damage is only visible from the outside; when viewed from inside or through an open door, SCP-1061's interior appears completely intact. This is purely a visual illusion, and is detectable by electronic recording devices. When viewed from the inside, the side windows (when closed) and rear windshield show the city of [REDACTED] and its environs, on ██/██/1996 (as determined by meteorological, astronomical, and botanical observations, and by sightings of newspapers and other periodicals) — the day that SCP-1061 was in its collision. The front windshield will likewise show the city and its environs; however, the hole in the front windshield made by the impact of the original driver's head shows neither urban/suburban [REDACTED] nor the containment chamber. Instead, it shows a featureless grey expanse.
If the driver's seat remains unoccupied, individuals occupying the other seats or looking through the opened doors, see that SCP-1061 is parked along the curb in front of a suburban residence. As with the illusory absence of vehicular damage, this illusion is visible to cameras and other electronic recording devices; however, this illusion does not activate unless a living human is seated within SCP-1061 and deactivates if all observers leave SCP-1061. The suburban environment always reflects the time of day at which the observers entered SCP-1061; if multiple observers enter SCP-1061 at different times, the environment will continue to reflect the time of day as determined by the entry of the first observer. The environment persists until 6:04 PM — the time at which SCP-1061 was in its collision; after 6:04 PM, the environment visible outside SCP-1061 "resets' to approximately 10:27 AM (as determined by shadow length, sun position and the times at which local residents are seen to return home from work or school). Observers at this point report seeing a blonde woman walking away from SCP-1061's driver's door.
The second anomalous property manifests when a live human sits in touches SCP-1061's driver's seat. All such humans, with the exception of passenger-seat observers, become instances of SCP-1061-1. SCP-1061-1 is a human whose mind has been "overwritten" with what is believed to be the mind of [REDACTED], who was the registered owner of SCP-1061 prior to being killed in its collision; she is also believed to have been the woman seen walking away from SCP-1061 when its illusory environment resets. Instances of SCP-1061-1 believe that they are still in 1996. Even when removed from SCP-1061, instances of SCP-1061-1 believe that they are either at home or at one of various locations in or around the city of [REDACTED] and cannot be convinced otherwise.
When allowed to remain within SCP-1061, SCP-1061-1 will "drive" SCP-1061 on various errands (instances of SCP-1061-1 will either insert a random key into SCP-1061's ignition or mime having inserted a key). SCP-1061-1 will treat any passenger-seat observers as friends of [REDACTED], refer to them by those friends' names and engage them in (one-sided) conversation about the personal details of those friends. SCP-1061-1 has demonstrated that it is willing to let observers exit SCP-1061 upon request and can easily be persuaded to allow new observers into SCP-1061, provided that their total number does not exceed 3. Observers report that, when SCP-1061-1 is "driving", the environment visible outside SCP-1061 is consistent with that of a car being driven through the streets of urban/suburban [REDACTED] in 1996 and SCP-1061-1 will comment on incidents, people and objects which are visible along its route. SCP-1061-1 will perform between 5 and 11 errands, during which time it will never voluntarily exit SCP-1061; instead, at each 'stop', it will enter a catatonic state for no less than 30 seconds and no more than 11 minutes (in which case, it will apologize to passenger-seat observers for having taken so long and cite 'long line-ups'). The precise route followed by SCP-1061-1 varies between instances, as does the order of the errands; however, the overall nature of the errands remains the same.
After no less than 36 minutes and no more than 70 minutes, SCP-1061 "drives" past [REDACTED] Laboratories and is involved in a head-on collision with a delivery van. Passenger-seat observers will be unaffected by the illusory impact, but SCP-1061-1 (who is not wearing its seatbelt) will be thrown forward with the typical force exerted on an unbelted driver engaged in a head-on collision.
At this point, SCP-1061's third anomalous property will manifest. High-speed photography reveals that within 2 milliseconds of SCP-1061-1's head touching the portion of windshield damaged by the impact with [REDACTED]'s head in 1996, a grey mist passes through the windshield hole and envelops SCP-1061-1's head; 1 millisecond later, the grey mist vanishes, taking SCP-1061-1's head with it. Once decapitated, instances of SCP-1061-1 are no longer considered anomalous and can be disposed of appropriately.
Passenger-seat observers present during the "collision" report becoming aware of the existence of an anomalous entity, henceforth SCP-1061-2. [NOTE: All data pertaining to SCP-1061-2's nature and motivations is the result of anecdotal evidence provided by D-class personnel who have served as passenger-seat observers in tests of SCP-1061. As such, the reliability of the data is uncertain, as is the question of whether SCP-1061-2 even exists; however, the anecdotal data responses have largely been in accordance with each other.]

Interview log
Dr. ███████: So why is it doing this?
D-1061-14: It's like this, see - it didn't know we were here, it didn't even know our whole dimension even existed, until right after the car crash, understand?
Dr. ███████: Okay…
D-1061-14: And now it wants more car crashes, 'cause, well, it likes human heads.
Dr. ███████: It likes them? To eat?
D-1061-14: Uh, I dunno if that's the right word, honestly. Anyway, so it wants more car crashes so it can get more heads, see, but it doesn't know how to make them happen. So it's… like… okay, you guys are scientists, right? So you all did grade 8 science class?
Dr. ███████: I suppose we did, yes. So…?
D-1061-14: So you remember about, like, setting up an experiment, doing something different ways to find out which part matters?
Dr. ███████: …oh! You mean experimental conditions?
D-1061-14: Yeah, that shit. So the thing is, this fucker, it doesn't know what made the car crash happen. So it's got all the experimental conditions — what the car looked like on the inside, what you could see from out the windows, what was in the driver's brain, all that shit — and it's makin' 'em happen over and over. Every time someone gets in the driver's seat, bam, their brain turns into whatserface from 1996 and she drives around for an hour until she gets in a car crash and then it has her head.
Dr. ███████: Thank you, this is most helpful. Tell me, how is it you know all this?
D-1061-14: I was front-seat passenger, doc. Anyone who's front-seat passenger during the crash knows this.
Dr. ███████: Ah. Thank you very much. One other question - why is it using such a complicated method? If it has the power to do all these things, aren't there much simpler ways?
D-1061-14: Just between you and me, doc… I don't think it's very smart. It's afraid to change too much, 'cause maybe it'll stop working.

« SCP-1060 | SCP-1061 | SCP-1062 »


Item #: SCP-1062
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1062 is currently contained in Secure Document Storage Locker #82 at Sector-25. The document is only available for testing, which must be supervised by at least one level-2 researcher, under the authority of two level-3 personnel. D-Class utilised in testing are not to have their termination postponed except under the express command of an O5.
Four non-anomalous copies of SCP-1062 are held in Safe Document Storage File #3562 and are freely available to those with Level-0 clearance or higher.
Description: SCP-1062 is an issue of the weekly science magazine 'New Scientist'1 No2833 “Time – the most mysterious dimension of all”. (08/10/2011). Disregarding general wear, which would be expected from a magazine left in a public waiting room for ██ days, the only noticeable deviation from a standard copy issue is a pencilled note on the inside front cover: “11:48 – C”.
The anomalous effect of SCP-1062 becomes apparent when either a feature article or the editorial is read. Upon reading an affected passage, the reader (henceforth referred to as the subject) undergoes a perceptual shift, which modifies a learned behaviour and all memories associated with said behaviour. Currently no methods have been devised capable of detecting the occurrence or nature of the perceptual shift. Therefore, the modification of the subject's behavioural pattern must be inferred from observation/interview after testing has been concluded.
Due to the fact that the subject will be unaware that any alteration has occurred, they may become distressed upon its revelation. On the presentation of evidence contrary to the subject's memories, those aware of such ideas may reach the conclusion that they have been transported to an alternative dimension/reality as a preference to the fact that their experiences and recollection may be false. This is considered improbable as no ██████ particles or █████ radiation have been detected.
The transformations caused by the document are unresponsive to all but the most potent grades of amnestics; however, normative behaviour can be relearned with no further difficulty than would otherwise be expected.
The effect of SCP-1062 is not contagious and is not transmissible by reading aloud an article or by photocopying or otherwise reproducing the text. As of the date of this document no hypothesis on how the articles cause their effect has been proven.

+ Abridged Testing Log

- Expunge Log

Test No.: 8
Date: ██/██/2011
Subject: D-2298
Article: Ultimate clocks
Modification: Subject has no concept of cutlery.
Test No.: 12
Date: ██/██/2011
Subject: D-2364
Article: Editorial
Modification: Subject associates the colour cyan with 'go'. States traffic light sequence is: red, amber, cyan.
Test No.: 17
Date: ██/██/2011
Subject: D-2687
Article: The truth about time travel
Modification: Subject communicates in English with incorrect grammatical structure, new structure appears to follow Latin rules with logical consistency (i.e. conjugated verbs occur at end of sentence structure).
Test No.: 23
Date: ██/██/2011
Subject: D-2745
Article: Editorial
Modification: Unknown.
Notes: This is the first recorded instance where no alteration could be detected before subject disposal.
Test No.: 26
Date: ██/██/2011
Subject: D-2753
Article: Living without time
Modification: Subject under the impression that each 24hr day counts down from 24 and that the directions clockwise and anti-clockwise are reversed.

Footnotes
1. ISSN: 0262 4079.

« SCP-1061 | SCP-1062 | SCP-1063 »


Item #: SCP-1063
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1063 is to be kept in a 20m x 20m x 6m habitat simulating a temperate deciduous/coniferous forest environment, bordered by 60 (sixty)-cm-thick unpolished granite walls covered with live moss; SCP-1063 is unable highly reluctant to damage objects which are supporting live plants. All personnel who enter SCP-1063's containment for any purpose are to carry live potted plants in plain view; guards are to carry flamethrowers as well as potted plants.
It is forbidden to speak English within 30 meters of SCP-1063's containment, as SCP-1063 becomes hostile towards individuals whom it has heard speaking English.
Vegetation and microfauna in SCP-1063's habitat are to be maintained according to schedule 1063-N6. Climate in SCP-1063's habitat is to be maintained according to schedule 1063-CX5; after each simulated rainfall, SCP-1063 is to be provided with a plain towel made of 100% natural unbleached undyed fibers, so that it may dry its non-water-resistant components.
Description: SCP-1063 is a humanoid automaton which appears to be constructed entirely out of wood, with highly articulated joints made of wooden ball bearings of various sizes. It is 2 meters tall, 103 kg, and resembles a bearded Caucasian man in mid-19th-century formal wear. Its lower left arm does not terminate in a hand, but instead flattens and broadens to form an axe blade almost 70 cm across. Although this blade is made of wood, it is razor-sharp, and is almost metallic in its mechanical properties; when enraged, SCP-1063 is able to sever human heads or limbs in a single blow, and to chop through over 30 (thirty) cm of granite, with no damage to the blade.
SCP-1063's "clothes" are carved out of wood and are of a piece with its body, with the exception of several cosmetic accessories all made of severely oxidized copper (six "shirt" buttons, a warped and dented hatband encircling its head, a broken monocle rim surrounding its right eye, cufflinks on its right "sleeve", a belt buckle, and a watch chain dangling from its left "coat pocket" — but no watch), and a tattered and faded Swastika armband on its upper right arm.
Its power source is unknown, as are the methods by which it is able to see, hear, and think; radiographic, ultrasonic and [REDACTED] imaging all indicate that it is solid wood, with the exception of the aforementioned cosmetic accessories.
SCP-1063 is not able to speak, but can write in several dialects of German, as well as in French. Psychological examinations have revealed a generally affable personality, characterised by mood swings and an overall low intelligence. (NOTE: Researchers wishing to interview SCP-1063 should familiarize themselves with the Fraktur mode of calligraphy). SCP-1063 refers to itself as "Freiherr von Schwarzwald", or "Lord of the Black Forest", and has described itself as a genuine aristocrat, ennobled by "the King himself" (translated from German); SCP-1063 has not been able to provide more specific information as to which king this was, but has expressed scorn at the suggestion that it was Wilhelm I of Prussia (who later became the Kaiser, or Emperor), describing him as an 'upstart' and "latecomer". These attitudes, and other statements made by SCP-1063, indicate that it was created no later than the mid-19th century, which is in accordance with its style of clothing.
SCP-1063 has stated that it has two purposes in existence. The first purpose, which it claims to have had since "the day of my first waking", is to protect the trees and other plant life of the Black Forest region of Germany at any cost. The second purpose, which it claims to have been taught by "those nice soldiers who gave me the [swastika] armband", is to protect Germany from English-speaking invaders.
SCP-1063 first came to the Foundation's attention as the result of a statistically anomalous number of missing persons reports from the village of [REDACTED], Germany, in 19██. Foundation personnel surveyed the region while disguised as a search party, and were attacked by SCP-1063 when they began to prepare a campfire; subject was quickly subdued and captured with no casualties.
After capturing SCP-1063, personnel coerced it into showing them the bodies of the ██ people it had killed for either "harmful disrespect of nature" or speaking English; the bodies were then further mutilated to support a cover story of accidental discovery of leftover explosives from the Second World War.

« SCP-1062 | SCP-1063 | SCP-1064 »


Item #: SCP-1064
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: When not required for testing purposes, SCP-1064 is to be contained in a sealed storage locker located within Sector-28. Since SCP-1064 is considered to be harmless when not actively in use, no further precautions are required to be taken at this time.
Description: SCP-1064 is a novelty ring made of pink-coloured plastic. The setting is designed to hold a small candle of the kind typically found on birthday cakes. SCP-1064 has no visible makers' mark or distinguishing features and appears to have been mass-produced using standard plastic moulding techniques.
If no candle has been inserted into the setting, SCP-1064 will not cause any effect when worn or otherwise handled. Test subjects experience no compulsion either to put on SCP-1064 or to insert a candle into it.
When a candle is inserted into SCP-1064 and lit whilst it is being worn, the wearer will experience one of two phenomena.
Around 80% of people who wear SCP-1064 will claim that the candle is in some way intrinsically linked to their own life expectancy. Individuals affected in this way appear to believe that, as the candle melts away, a portion of their lifespan will be irrevocably taken from them. Test subjects affected in this way will attempt to extinguish the candle in any way possible, most commonly by blowing it out, but will not try to remove SCP-1064 itself.
Once the candle has been extinguished, the wearer will exhibit a strong desire to continue to wear SCP-1064 and to keep the candle in the setting. If this is not possible, they will make efforts to keep the candle in their possession, often insisting that it is now an intrinsic part of them.
In the remaining 20% of cases, the wearer will claim to have experienced time at an altered pace with events around them taking place much faster than usual. Test subjects affected in this way will typically move and communicate slowly whilst the candle remains lit. Whilst, in the vast majority of cases, test subjects find this experience to be disorienting and will be reluctant to repeat the experiment, a handful have expressed a wish to use SCP-1064 again, due to the false belief that it is a ‘time travelling ring'.
Extensive testing has found that SCP-1064 does not cause the tissue of test subjects to age or degrade in any way which might suggest their life expectancy has been shortened by it. All test subjects regardless of their experiences appear to age at a natural rate both during and after testing and no lasting physical effects have been recorded. Furthermore, tests have shown that those test subjects who undergo the second of the two phenomena exhibit no recordable alteration in brain activity to suggest that they are experiencing time at an altered speed.
Examination of candles after their use in SCP-1064 have shown no alteration in properties other than those to be expected as a result of them being burnt.
Addendum 1064-A: Dr Hill - Following the death of D-1845 after a candle was allowed to burn away completely in SCP-1064, all testing is to be put on hold until the cause of the subject's death can be confirmed.
Addendum 1064-B: Dr Hill - Inserting novelty relighting candles into SCP-1064 is not recommended. As far as I am concerned, watching D-2097 remove her own finger by [DATA EXPUNGED] with the edge of a table was a fairly conclusive test result.

« SCP-1063 | SCP-1064 | SCP-1065 »


Item #: SCP-1065
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1065-1 through SCP-1065-4 are to be contained in individual, near-vacuum anaerobic chambers, fitted with manipulation access for at least one user per chamber. No forms of written information, including information directly regarding SCP-1065, are to be kept in proximity to SCP-1065.
Due to SCP-1065's anomalous effects, if one or more individual object needs to be removed from its vacuum containment, it must be handled in an environment of at least 98% humidity, at ambient temperatures not to exceed 21 degrees Celsius. While full hazardous materials protection is not currently deemed necessary, latex gloves or other methods to prevent direct skin contact is required for anyone handling SCP-1065.
Description: SCP-1065 is a four volume series of books written in an Eastern Slavic language, apparently of the early-to-mid 1800's and possibly an obscure local dialect or mixture of languages. The overarching title roughly translates to "The Dangers Of Free Knowledge." They are bound with red leather featuring faux-golden embossing, and show both fire and water damage around the edges, along with significant foxing (discoloration and degradation due to aging, molding, etc.) of the paper. No author, print dates or other publishing information are contained within, although the materials have the appearance of being produced on a commercial printing press.
The texts of the books read as a treatise against general education, dispersal of knowledge and, ironically, written information. The actual words hold no anomalous properties and have been fully transcribed for study and cross-referencing (Document 1065-0011). The anomalous properties become evident when someone makes physical contact with one or more of the books, at which point they begin to subscribe to the ideals contained within, even if they do not actually read any of the text. While this begins as a general "understanding" and "mild agreement", prolonged exposure produces increased dedication to the principles put forth in the books, eventually reaching such extremes as the instigation of violent uprising against established governmental and educational systems, public vandalizing and destruction of written texts, and the destruction of public storehouses of written texts such as libraries or book stores.
These effects will eventually wear off once physical contact with the book is broken, taking approximately twenty-six (26) hours for every minute of continuous physical contact.
A secondary effect occurs whenever the books are left unused for a period of time exceeding one month, after which they will self-immolate. The books suffer no damage from their own produced flames, but have been shown to be vulnerable to fires produced by other means (including individuals under its effects) as well as any other sort of potential damage. The flames do not seem to be able to manifest in areas where humidity is at least 95% and ambient temperatures below 23.9°C, nor where oxygen levels are too low for flames to efficiently burn. Similarly, the flames are able to be extinguished through any standard means and show no anomalous properties besides their origin.
Addendum: Recently recovered records show a number of otherwise inexplicable fires occurring at a series of libraries and universities throughout eastern Europe all tied to an acquisition of SCP-1065 approximately one week before the fire. As SCP-1065 was discovered and contained following a fire in the [REDACTED] government hall shortly after the break up of the USSR, any prior records of transfer of the books had been lost and presumed destroyed in the blaze. Dr. K████ was given a citation of merit for his diligence in tracking down the prior history of the objects, as well as the theory that SCP-1065's period before ignition is significantly reduced when multiple instances are kept together, and further reduced when stored in proximity to other pieces of written knowledge.

« SCP-1064 | SCP-1065 | SCP-1066 »


1/1066 LEVEL 1/1066
CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-1066
Object Class: Safe

SCP-1066

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1066 is to be kept in a document storage box large enough to contain it without folding or rolling. It should be stored on a standard shelving unit in Storage Site-23. Any personnel with Level 2 or higher clearance wishing to run tests on SCP-1066 should speak with Dr. P. Voreno.
Description: SCP-1066 is a college diploma issued by the University of ████ ███ (U██), dated █/█/19██. It is printed on a 0.5 by 0.3 m sheet of parchment. No abnormalities have been found in either the ink or the parchment, and both match similar diplomas issued by U██ in the 19██s.
SCP-1066 is no more resistant to damage than any other ██-year-old piece of parchment, so care should be taken while handling it to avoid damage. Open flames in particular should be kept away from the object.
When a man who is at least 17 years of age signs his name in the space labeled "Graduating Student", he will disappear for 4-10 minutes and return four years older. The subject seems to have lived those years as a student at U██ between 19██ and 19██, graduating on the date written on the document, and earned a degree in whatever subject he was thinking of while signing the document, whether U██ offered classes in that subject in 19██ or not. The text on SCP-1066 will change to reflect this. The subject will have no memory of the four years not directly related to his subject of study. See Addendum 1066-1 for more details. There is no effect when a woman signs her name on SCP-1066. As U██ did not accept women in 19██, this is unsurprising.
It is worth noting that approximately █% of subjects do not survive the four years. In these cases, their corpse will return with the expected amount of decay. The death rate is not consistent with that of students at U██ in 19██; however, these results are skewed, since many test subjects have been ordered to think of memetic effects or dangerous SCP objects.
SCP-1066 was recovered from the campus of U██ on ██/██/20██. The administration had been offering an "accelerated learning" program to students, for the standard four-year tuition plus a fee of $███████. It is unknown why nobody noticed the rapid aging of some graduates; if this is a property of the object, it is yet to be discovered. The object was retrieved without casualties and Class-B amnestics were administered to the administration and all recorded graduates. It is very likely that some or most of the graduates were not recorded, but the risk of any graduates revealing the existence of SCP-1066 is low, and as such finding them is a low-priority task. Similarities between the effects of SCP-1066 and SCP-028 have been noted, and investigation into a common origin, or whether one anomaly is an altered version of the other, is ongoing.
Addendum 1066-1: Notable Test Results
Name: Dr P. Voreno
Date: █/██/20██
Subject: D-1066-1
Information: Subject was simply instructed to sign the document.
Results: The subject gained a degree in calligraphy. Review of experiment tapes indicates that the subject had been focusing intently on signing the document in his best handwriting. The subject's handwriting showed a marked improvement after the test. He had no memories of the time in which he was gone. Subject was terminated on schedule at the end of the month.
Additional Comments: Subject gained a tattoo of the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword", translated into Chinese, on his left pectoral.
Name: Dr P. Voreno
Date: ██/█/20██
Subject: D-1066-5
Information: Subject was instructed to think of his favorite animal.
Results: The subject gained a degree in marine mammal biology. When questioned, the subject said that his favorite animal was the dolphin. The subject also had vivid dreams of SCUBA diving next to various marine mammals until he was terminated at the end of the month.
Additional Comments: The subject showed familiarity with SCUBA equipment after the test; when asked, he claimed to never have taken a SCUBA certification course.
Name: Dr P. Voreno
Date: █/█/20██
Subject: D-1066-7
Information: Memetic SCP-███ was described to the subject, who was then instructed to think only of that while signing the document.
Results: Subject gained degree in memetic studies. However, subject refused to communicate in any way with researchers after returning, and was terminated on schedule.
Additional Comments: No luck training researchers with this thing so far. — Dr P. Voreno
Name: Dr P. Voreno
Date: █/█/20██
Subject: D-1066-14
Information: Subject was instructed to think of the phrase "Advanced Memetics". Subject showed above-average intelligence in standard D-class screening.
Results: Subject returned in a vegetative state consistent with the effects of [REDACTED].
Additional Comments: Subjects 9 through 13 were all instructed to think of memetic effects, and all returned showing signs of exposure to some sort of memetic agent known to the Foundation in 19██. — Dr P. Voreno
Name: Research Assistant █████ ███
Date: █/█/20██
Subject: Research Assistant █████ ███
Information: This was an unauthorized test. Research Assistant ███ was apparently trying to gain sufficient credentials to be promoted to full researcher.
Results: Research Assistant ███ returned with a degree in "SCP Studies". The "SCP" in this case apparently is an acronym for "Super-Computer Processors". He now has a knowledge of super-computers consistent with the year 19██.
Additional Comments: Research Assistant ███ was demoted to clearance Level 0 and transferred from Storage Site-23.

« SCP-1065 | SCP-1066 | SCP-1067 »


Item #: SCP-1067
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: All components of SCP-1067 are locked in drawer six of locker-██, one of ██ custom-built stainless steel lockers measuring 3.0m in height and 0.40m in width and depth. This locker and the items inside are currently assigned to department 43-█, and monitored via CCTV. SCP-1067 is to be returned to the locker when not in use, and must be vacuum-sealed in a polythene bag after being thoroughly dehydrated before being returned. Additional security includes marking with ultraviolet ink on all components to prevent theft. Any member of staff who wishes to conduct tests on SCP-1067 may do so with the approval of Administrator Samson, although they must be supervised by at least one (1) department 43-█ operative. Please note that application of SCP-1067 for recreational purposes is strictly forbidden.
Description: SCP-1067 consists of four (4) components (SCP-1067-a to SCP-1067-d). SCP-1067-a is a hinged leather-bound container 25.50x14.2x2.50cm in dimension. The inside of SCP-1067-a is lined with blue velvet, and appears to be designed to contain SCP-1067-b to SCP-1067-d, however spaces indicate that there are three (3) missing components. SCP-1067-b to SCP-1067-d is a set of three (3) silver-plated teaspoons, each of which measures 10.57cm in length, 2.50cm in width, and 1.00cm in depth. SCP-1067-b to SCP-1067-d are all identical except for their handles, which each have a unique ornament attached, all bearing relation to modern western wedding traditions.

SCP-1067-b
Decorated with a bouquet of red tulips. Any liquids which come into direct contact with SCP-1067-b immediately become earl grey tea, independent of the liquid's composition. This effect extends to extremely viscous gels, although not to vapours. SCP-1067-b has also demonstrated a second unexplained ability; When using SCP-1067 to stir a solution of water and sucrose, subjects report feeling resistance in the solution. When removed, SCP-1067 brought with it a small quantity of white granules which when tasted, turned out to be ordinary granulated sugar and displayed no anomalous properties. Repetition of this action results in any sucrose in a solution being scooped out in its solid form, to the point at which the solution is totally free of sucrose.
SCP-1067-c
Decorated with a wedding carriage. Solutions stirred with SCP-1067-c continue to stir themselves for up to four (4) hours after the initial stirring, even when obstructed with solid objects. Any liquids that come into contact with SCP-1067-c immediately become oolong tea. These effects have been observed with a broad variety of input solutions, but seem to be ineffective with extremely viscous putties. SCP-1067-c has been described by subjects as being quite heavy for its size, although analysis of SCP-1067-c's composition indicates ordinary density levels.
SCP-1067-d
Decorated with the figures of a bride and groom. Experimentation shows SCP-1067-d to be capable of fabricating pasteurised cow's milk upon contact with fluids. The milk is non-toxic as per usual, but produces slightly higher levels of radiation than would be normally expected.

SCP-1067 was discovered to possess unique abilities by Dr. G. █████ whilst preparing coffee. Dr. █████ states that he received SCP-1067 as a gift from his sister, Fiona █████ in 1973. Through an interview it was revealed that SCP-1067 was first purchased at █████████ in York, UK. Ms. █████ stated that SCP-1067 was purely an impulse-buy, and without precedence. Subject was administered a class-C amnestic before being released.
At this time the abilities of SCP-1067 are without explanation, despite detailed examination and multiple trials. SCP-1067 is currently under the care of department 43-█ of site #██, under the jurisdiction of administrator Samson, and will remain so until further notice.
Addendum:
1067-A
Mass spectrometry of samples from SCP-1067-b, c and d confirm the composition of these items to be primarily copper with fine silver plating. Researchers are unanimous in agreeing that presence of both scandium and zirconium impurities is highly irregular in copper. Progress has still not been made as to the source of SCP-1067's metamorphic properties.

« SCP-1066 | SCP-1067 | SCP-1068 »


Item #: SCP-1068
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Packaged SCP-1068s are to be kept in a large underground storage site beneath Site-76. The walls of the room are to be soundproofed and electromagnetically shielded so as to prevent damage to other facilities. Researchers should wear shaded goggles, ear plugs, and ear muffs to prevent permanent sensory damage when handling or experimenting with SCP-1068. Records should be kept through non-electronic medium. Any detonations are to be scheduled in advance and communicated to all personnel to avoid confusion with the standard on-site nuclear device.
Any examples of SCP-1068 outside of Foundation control are to be seized discreetly and brought to Site-76 via armored transport. In the event of an SCP-1068 activation outside of the site's perimeters, all available Foundation diplomatic resources are to be dispatched into negotiations to pacify both national and international relevant governing bodies and, if necessary, inform them of the nature of SCP-1068.
Description: SCP-1068 are model rockets approximately a meter in length. They resemble a simplified version of the LGM-30 ICBM model and are covered in unpainted white plastic with the words 'ATOM BUSTER' etched in one side. Dis-assembly of the objects exposes a cylindrical fuel tank and engine assembly filled with an ethanol-[DATA EXPUNGED] mixture. A 30-cm-long fuse leads out of the rocket's base and is the primary method of ignition. When activated, SCP-1068 will launch at a velocity of 45 meters per second before falling back down to the ground and exploding.
Upon detonation, SCP-1068 activates an intense bright light and loud sound similar to those of a conventional nuclear device. It will also release a weak radio wave pulse similar to an EMP, temporarily knocking out all electronic communications within a radius of █ km and preventing any further close observation of and communication with the area for up to 20 hours. Immediately following detonation, a large column of low density non-toxic gases will rise up from the point of detonation, coalescing into a shape similar to the mushroom cloud released by extreme temperatures. For all intents and purposes, the event will resemble a fission reaction without actually causing any harm beyond sensory damage.
SCP-1068 comes contained in red cylindrical cardboard packaging shaped to resemble a simplified missile silo. On the front there is a clear plastic window to show off the model, along with a price tag of $19.99 (US). On the back of the box are a description of the object, several safety labels and warnings, and an artist's rendition of the explosion of the Trinity nuclear test.
Information on Back of SCP-1068 Packaging

Harness the Raw-ket power of Dr. Wondertainment's new line of model rockets with The Atom Buster®! This pint-sized monster launches a thousand feet in the air before plummeting to a climactic explosion of nuclear proportions. Truman would be proud. Utilizing a state-of-the-art light and sounds system, the greatest weapon ever detonated can be used again… on your front lawn! You can even customize your model with the accompanying realistic decal sheet to make its launch a more awesome one.
Buy the complementary Dr. Wondertainment's Wonderful Paint Set®, Accurate-And-Deadly Artillery Aiming Platform®, and Big Red Button Remote Activator® to seriously complete your Mega Arsenal of Doom!
For Ages 9+
CAUTION: Protective eyewear and ear plugs/ear muffs required. Do not attempt to remove the fuel, fuse, or engine from the Atom Buster® without adult supervision. Not suitable for children under 8 years of age. Dr. Wondertainment is not responsible for any damage caused by The Atom Buster®.

Addendum 1068-01
During Incident-1068-6 in the ██████ Province, the Chaos Insurgency intercepted a shipment of SCP-1068 being transported from Site-103 and stole five cases of the product in the ensuing firefight. Requesting permission to preemptively warn all nuclear-capable governments of SCP-1068.
Dr. Johnson

« SCP-1067 | SCP-1068 | SCP-1069 »


Item #: SCP-1069
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The area within a 5 km radius of SCP-1069-1 has been marked as off-limits to civilian access under the guise of environmental chemical contamination, and all Foundation staff located on-site are to operate under the cover of an environmental cleanup organization.
Exploration or experimentation with SCP-1069-1 may only be performed with prior permission from at least two (2) Level 3 Senior Researchers and all personnel within the area must wear full soundproofed ear protectors or modulated sound processing headsets at all times. Any individuals attempting to enter this area without authorization, appropriate acoustic protection, or in an attempt to communicate with SCP-1069-3 without prior permission are to be detained, questioned, and administered a Class B amnestic if deemed necessary.
Description: SCP-1069-1 is a submerged city 3 km off of the coast of [REDACTED], France at a depth of approximately 220 m. SCP-1069-1 covers an area of approximately 4.8 km² and is surrounded by a high dike constructed of bronze and [REDACTED], indicating that it may have once been a coastal city.
Dating of recovered artifacts and materials indicate that SCP-1069 is at least 1500 years old and surveys of the intact sections of the city indicate that it would have been one of the largest cities of its era in addition to containing architecture and high-strength construction that exceeds the technological capabilities of any known civilization of the time. Recovered artifacts have also revealed written script belonging to what has been tentatively identified as a previously unknown Breton or Brythonic language.
Extensive analysis of the city's buildings has revealed damage consistent with a large-scale tsunami and subsequent flooding. Due to a lack of damage to the city's exterior dike, it is unknown precisely what this event entailed as a wave of sufficient height to crest the walls would presumably have been of sufficient magnitude to result in far more catastrophic damage to the city itself.
SCP-1069-2 is a population of intangible human entities inhabiting SCP-1069-1, currently estimated in excess of 78,000 individuals. These individuals appear to be dressed in clothing from a large cross-section of historical periods (so far determined to be as early as 500 AD and as recent as World War II era military dress) and have been observed engaging in activity consistent with those of 5th century city life. Instances of SCP-1069-2 do not appear to be able to perceive or otherwise acknowledge the existence of living human subjects, even when attempting to communicate directly with particular instances.
SCP-1069-3 is a specific female humanoid entity within SCP-1069-1. Consistently described as having regal composure and being dressed in clothing consistent with that of 5th century nobility, SCP-1069-3 is capable of communicating and conversing with particular personnel, especially those with high levels of extrasensory sensitivity. SCP-1069-3 does not appear to be hostile or dangerous to Foundation personnel, but multiple personnel have described seeing unusual piscine or delphine features such as fins or a tail when SCP-1069-3 is in their peripheral vision and on several occasions been the target of attempts to convince personnel to live within the city.
SCP-1069 was discovered on ██/██/19██ by a civilian archaeological expedition attempting to locate and explore underwater ruins near [REDACTED]. Foundation agents embedded within the expedition called for backup following the disappearance of three civilian team members during initial contact and exploration; a containment team was successful in securing SCP-1069 and all surviving expedition members were administered a Class A amnestic and given a cover story.
Addendum 1069-01: Incident Report, Incident 1069-08, ██/█/19██
During a submersible survey dive within the eastern district of SCP-1069-1 performed by members of the Foundation research team, Drs. ██████ and ███████ were apparently engaged in conversation by SCP-1069-3. From fragments of audio recovered from the remains of the submersible's audio recorders, it appears that the researchers conversed for several minutes before the submersible's main pressure hatch is compromised through unexplained means, resulting in a catastrophic depressurization of the vehicle.
The wreckage of the submersible was recovered from the eastern district without incident, along with the clothes and personal effects of Drs. ██████ and ███████; no bodies or other human remains were located.
In subsequent exploration dives, on-site personnel have reportedly identified instances of SCP-1069-2 matching the description of Drs. ██████ and ███████ in the eastern district of SCP-1069-1 wearing contemporary casual clothing. As with all such instances, they did not respond to attempts to communicate or otherwise attract their attention.
Addendum 1069-02: Interview Transcript, ██/██/19██
Following the events of Incident 1069-08, authorization was given for Dr. █████████, a senior researcher known to have been able to draw the attention of SCP-1069-3 in a prior survey dive, to attempt to interview SCP-1069-3.

(start of transcript)
SCP-1069-3: Welcome back. Have you come to join us this time?
Dr. █████████: No, but I would like to ask you a few questions.
SCP-1069-3: Certainly.
Dr. █████████: Who are you, exactly?
SCP-1069-3: I am Dahut, daughter of Gradlon. There are those who would call me "queen", but I am merely a caretaker of this city; all who seek refuge here are equal.
Dr. █████████: Two of our personnel recently disappeared here, do you know them?
SCP-1069-3: [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]? Yes, of course I do. I know the names of all who shelter within my walls.
Dr. █████████: What did you do to them? Why did you take them?
SCP-1069-3: Take them? I'm afraid you are mistaken; I would never keep someone here against their will. All those who live here do so of their own accord.
Dr. █████████: Assuming you are telling the truth, what exactly did you do to them?
SCP-1069-3: They are sheltered here within my walls, by my power.
Dr. █████████: Can you release them?
SCP-1069-3: I told you that I do not keep them. If they wish to leave, then all they must do is ask; I cannot make that decision for them any more than I could force them to live here in the first place.
Dr. █████████: Those men have families, you know. They have to —
SCP-1069-3: Yes, they do: families with children who have grown up and spouses who have grown cold. They have no desire to remain in a world where every waking hour is one living in fear from the unknown and have chosen my sanctuary instead.
Dr. █████████: How do you know that?
SCP-1069-3: They told me. Just as they told me that you, [REDACTED], are yet unmarried and unlikely to be convinced to join them.
Dr. █████████: You're lying!
SCP-1069-3: Why would I lie? All I have ever asked for is the right to live in peace, away from the politics and machinations of those who would rule the world. I have tolerated your kind for as long as you have sought to control that which you do not understand and, despite their best efforts to destroy me, I have endured.
Dr. █████████: I don't know what you're talking about.
SCP-1069-3: No, of course not, but your leaders who will read this conversation do. I sought to create a sanctuary, a city of peace on the coast. Your precursors, who felt threatened by my abilities, sought to sully my name and spread lies to dissuade their followers from finding refuge within these walls. For years — decades, even — they tried to destroy me: first through words, then by force of arms, then finally with magic. Their wall of water pulled this city beneath the waves, but both I and the ones I swore to protect have survived.
Dr. █████████: (silence)
SCP-1069-3: Ask your leaders, [REDACTED]. Ask them to tell you the truth: that they knew of us and have always known. Ask them why I must be considered a threat, why centuries of legend and myth consider me a demon, and why all power — even that which is used to keep safe and protect — is an abomination. Perhaps, then, you will see what has truly transpired here and what evil lies within their hearts.
SCP-1069-3: Good day, [REDACTED]. I wish you well.
(end of transcript)

Addendum 1069-03: Research Note
As of █/█/200█, all further expeditions to SCP-1069 have been suspended pending further investigation and research into SCP-1069-3's subversive capabilities. All personnel having had direct contact with SCP-1069-3 are to be quarantined under telepathic / memetic agent contamination protocols immediately.

« SCP-1068 | SCP-1069 | SCP-1070 »


SCP-1070-B.

SCP-1070.

Item #: SCP-1070
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1070 is to be held in a standard containment locker, located in Site-77's Safe SCP wing. When being used by site personnel, one standard test chamber may be used. No personnel above D-Class are permitted to view SCP-1070 when it is in an active state. In the event that personnel do view it, they are to be given psychiatric evaluation, with further action taken at the discretion of the site director.
Description: SCP-1070 is an educational video game, designed for use as educational software on the Nintendo Entertainment System. It is held in a cartridge composed of black plastic and measures 13.3x12x2 centimeters. SCP-1070 lacks identifying information such as labels or manufacturers' mark. The back cover has a warning label identical to unlicensed games produced by "Tengen Arcadia." The splash screen identifies the game as "Learning with Leo" with a 1989 copyright belonging to the "Real Awesome 'Tainment" label.1
When used, SCP-1070 displays an image of a green figure, identified as "Joey," hereafter referred to as SCP-1070-B, who will ask the subject questions such as age, ethnicity, grade level, and eating habits. SCP-1070-B will respond to answers provided by the subject, using simplistic language and gestures.
When SCP-1070 is activated and used by a subject under the age of fourteen, it will function without any anomalous properties. SCP-1070-B will ask a series of mathematical, history, and basic scientific questions. SCP-1070-B will then show a score depending on how many correct answers the user gave. Of note is that SCP-1070-B will remember subjects who have used it in the past, and is able to identify them by name.
However, if a subject over the age of fourteen uses SCP-1070, a different effect will occur. As the subject advances through SCP-1070's content, SCP-1070-B will begin asking more esoteric and incomprehensible questions, often using graphical errors and obfuscating graphics to prevent the subject from progressing. During this time, subjects will experience mental degradation. If SCP-1070 is played longer than 1 hour, the subject will have reverted to the mental capacity of a prepubescent.
Subjects appear to retain memories of their life prior to using SCP-1070, although their understanding of these memories is limited. They will make frequent references to being "broken" or "empty", and if given the opportunity will attempt to utilize SCP-1070 in order to regain lost mental capacity. Testing has shown that SCP-1070 does not affect subjects after complete exposure, and will display no anomalous properties when utilized by these subjects.
SCP-1070 was recovered from a rural home in Charleston, WV, USA. It came to the Foundation's attention after a prominent local businessman, Fred ████, was affected by SCP-1070. Investigation into Mr. ████'s home showed that SCP-1070 had been purchased as a gift for his son, who suffered from Down's Syndrome. Mr. ████ and his son were placed in the care of relatives, and SCP-1070 was classified as Safe.
Addendum: The following is a transcript from video documentation of SCP-1070's effect.

At 1:35 AM EST, D-2146 activates SCP-1070. After the splash screen, SCP-1070-B suddenly appears.
SCP-1070-B: Hello there, Mel.
D-2146: (Exclamation of surprise.)
SCP-1070-B: Are you ready to play?
D-2146: I… (pause) …sure.

SCP-1070-B: What is the… CAPITOL… city of… FRANCE?
D-2146: … Paris?
SCP-1070-B: Your answer is… CORRECT.
D-2146 expresses enthusiasm.
SCP-1070-B: Can you… COUNT… to …. SEVEN?
D-2146: Uh, sure. One, two, three, four… ah… five, six…. seven!
SCP-1070-B: You are… CORRECT… AGAIN.
SCP-1070-B begins displaying graphical errors, showing an image of itself with a bright red background.
D-2146: Aah, fuck!
SCP-1070-B: It's really okay. Don't be alarmed. You only have tomorrow to fear.
D-2146: (voice drowned out by static) …at?
SCP-1070-B: What is tomorrow? We must face it? Yesterday was just another day. We live in the past.
D-2146 remains silent.
SCP-1070-B: What is a mother? Did she want to see you?
D-1246: (static) …en then?
SCP-1070-B: Mom will be back. Everything will be A-Okay.
D-1246: (Voice has taken a notable drop in pitch)…Mom?
SCP-1070-B: We're back here. She's back.

Following this, no further vocalizations for 2 hours, and testing was terminated.

Footnotes
1. Research has shown that a copyright for this name was made in 1999; however, no games associated with this name were produced.

« SCP-1069 | SCP-1070 | SCP-1071 »


Item #: SCP-1071
Classification: Safe Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-1071-1 and -2 are to be kept in separate containment lockers in Site ██'s storage, with access allowed by level 3 or higher permission. The contents of all instances of SCP-1071-3 are to be cataloged and kept in the archives for future reference. It should be noted that it is possible that not all instances of SCP-1071 have been contained, and that some may still be in circulation. During the school year, SAT Testing should be monitored to detect possible instances of SCP-1071.
Unless part of an experiment, all Test Takers who receive a "fail" result are to be put in isolation in order to prevent any repeats of Incident 1071-15. Test Takers with this result should be considered a minor cognitohazard, and any aggressive action taken against them should be reported to Dr. ███████. If test taker is D Class, they may be exempt from retirement for no more than five (5) weeks in order to study effects. It should also be noted that any attempt at causing grievous bodily harm to a Test Taker will result in a reprimand, regardless of security clearance or position.
Description: SCP-1071 is the collective name for the answer sheets (SCP-1071-1) and the test booklets (SCP-1071-2) from the SAT Reasoning Test. When not being used, SCP-1071-1 and -2 are ordinary SAT testing materials distributed from the year 20██-20██ as of time of writing. Reading through them without meeting the activation criteria shows that the questions consist of several mathematics, literature, history, science, and language questions, as expected. There are currently ████ instances of SCP-1071 in storage at Site ██.
SCP-1071 is activated when an instance of SCP-1071-1 and -2 are brought together, and the subject's name is inscribed upon the exterior of the booklets with a #2 pencil. Regardless of current educational status, the Test Taker will take SCP-1071 as if it were an actual SAT Reasoning Test. The subject can leave at any time, but doing so before completion of at least 60% of the test and/or expiration of the testing period (determined to be three hours and thirty minutes) results in a failing grade. Attempts to observe the contents of SCP-1071-1 and -2 during the duration of the test are futile; the paper appears to be a normal SAT Reasoning Test to outside observers. After the test is completed, however, no results can be viewed on the answer sheet; in addition, the Test Taker cannot remember the contents of SCP-1071, even under hypnosis. They will, however, consistently mention that the essay question was the easiest part of the test.
Approximately three (3) weeks after completion of the test, an envelope (designated SCP-1071-3) will appear in the Test Taker's current place of residence, regardless of whether or not there is a mailbox, or even a mail delivery service, available. SCP-1071-3 will contain the results of SCP-1071; however, results will only have anomalous effects if opened by the addressee. It should be noted that the results refer to SCP-1071 as the "Improvement Test", rather than the SAT Reasoning Test. The results of this test are not consistent with the scoring system for the SAT; instead of being calculated in a numeric value up to 2400, the results instead take the form of a form letter. The form letter informs the the Test Taker of one of two results: they either scored proficiently on the test, which produces no results, or they have failed the test.
Test Takers who receive the "fail" become the subject of passive-aggressive tendencies from other human beings. Subjects who have "failed" SCP-1071 have reported relationships failing, being fired from several consecutive jobs, having neighbors file petty complaints against them, and an increase in suspicion from law enforcement and government workers. Test Takers also report an increase in technology failing and incidents of animal aggressiveness. As time progresses, these tendencies become more and more harmful to the Test Taker, escalating from various verbal slurs to assault, and finally to sexual crimes and attempted murder. Death of the Test Taker immediately ends all aggressive actions, often leaving the tormentors feeling remorse for their actions.
However, in ███ recorded instances, SCP-1071-3 has come back without containing standard results; instead, it contains a slip of paper with the words "Congratulations. You've passed. We'll come to collect you soon," written on it. Within 24-48 hours of receiving this result, the Test Taker will experience feelings of euphoria and contentment. At 72 hours after receiving results, the Test Taker will disappear when unobserved. It should be noted that this is not a total disappearance; items such as clothing, jewelry, dental fillings, and tracking devices will be left behind. As such, the whereabouts of Test Takers who receive a "pass" result are currently unknown, but theories include [DATA EXPUNGED].
Incident 1071-15: D-58921 was selected for exemption from retirement after receiving a "fail" result from SCP-1071 in order to study the detrimental effects. D-58921 has scored 92 (below average) on a standard IQ test and has a history of self-esteem issues, a factor which led to their imprisonment and eventually employment as D-Class. Four weeks after the result was received, D-58921 attempted to ingest rat poison collected from the D-Class kitchen. The following interview was conducted by Dr. ███████, with Agent ████ supervising.

>Begin Log<
Dr. ███████: D-58921, why did you try to poison yourself?
D-58921: (unintelligible) calling me now? I don't suppose I deserve a name; everyone here says as much.
Dr. ███████: What do you mean?
D-58921: Ever since the test… people have been hating me… not my fault… test was too hard…(unintelligible) was it? I can't…
Dr. ███████: What was on the test, D-58921?
D-58921: Questions, questions, questions… uh… I… I don't know… I can't remember…
Dr. ███████: What do you mean you don't know? Of course you don't know. You stupid fuck. Worthless fucking D-Class.
D-58921: What the- why are you- oh geez. Not you. Not you, doc. I thought that you would… I thought… you wouldn't do this…
Dr. ███████: For the love of- listen, you little pile of shit. Either you man the fuck up, or you are going to get terminated on the spot!
D-58921: (Sobbing)
Dr. ███████: Listen, you son of a bitch. I'm going to count to three. If you don't stop this baby-ass behavior, I am going to go out there, find your wife and kids, and [DATA EXPUNGED]
D-58921: No! Please! You said you'd let me see them again if I took that test!
Agent █████: Shut the fuck up, you fucking pussy. That was a fucking lie. You're worthless! Your wife and kids hate you! You don't deserve to see them! You don't even deserve to live!
D-58921: Stop it. Please. I'll do whatever you want, just stop!
Agent █████: Alright then. You know what I want from you?
D-58921: What? I'll do anything, please, just-
Agent █████: I want you to die, you [EXPUNGED] fuck!
(Gunshot)
Dr. ███████: Jesus Christ! What the hell was that for?!
Agent █████: I… don't know… he just… I… he said he… oh God…
>End Log<

Dr. ███████ and Agent █████ were reprimanded for their conduct during the interview.
Note: I have no idea what the hell came over me. I just lost my temper! I didn't know what I was saying! Requesting to upgrade to Euclid immediately. -Dr. ███████
It seems as if we have all instances of SCP-1071 in containment, and they can all be safely kept in a storage locker. Nobody HAS to take SCP-1071. Request denied. -O5-█.
Incident 1071-17: Reports of anomalous SAT Reasoning Tests came in from the town of [REDACTED]. As it was possible that these were uncontained instances of SCP-1071, agents were dispatched to attempt to collect the tests. Agents failed in acquisition of over ███ instances of SCP-1071-1 and -2, but were able to intercept all results. Items were confirmed as SCP-1071-3, and were made up of ███ "proficient" results, ██ "fail" results and █ "pass" results. All items were archived and are considered neutralized. It should be noted that [REDACTED] has one of the lowest performing school systems in the United States. Students were allowed to re-take a proper SAT Reasoning Test at a later date.
If this doesn't qualify it for Euclid status, I don't know what does! It's popping up outside the facility, and it's targeting low-performing school systems! If the Agents hadn't gotten the results, we'd have a lot of messed-up kids on our hands right now. I am re-submitting my request to upgrade to Euclid, or at the very least, set up monitoring of schools participating in the SAT. -Dr. ███████.
Both requests approved. Euclid status recognized, and all schools participating in the SAT test are to be monitored for reports of behavior consistent with SCP-1071 activation. -O5-█.

« SCP-1070 | SCP-1071 | SCP-1072 »


SCP-1072 in its case.

Item #: SCP-1072
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Object is kept in a small case in the middle of a twenty (20) metre square room. The door into the room is located in the corner so as to be more than ten metres from the object.
Only one person may be within ten metres of the object when the case is opened. Additional persons may be present outside the ten metre radius.
As of ██/██/████, the case is only to be opened remotely via a robotic manipulator installed in the room. Manual opening of the case is prohibited.
Due to properties detailed in Addendum 1072-1, it is recommended that all subjects be selected from those with as little knowledge of the Foundation as possible. In particular, subjects assigned to SCP-1072 should ideally not have worked with any other SCPs.
Description: SCP-1072 resembles a somewhat dull metal disc with no design stamped on it. It has no apparent unusual physical characteristics, although thermal imaging indicates that its surface temperature appears to rise by approximately one degree Celsius whenever any human subjects are within ten metres of the object. Neither the number of subjects nor their exact distance from the object affect the magnitude of this temperature increase.
All subjects who approach within ten metres of the object report that they feel drawn to open the case. The compulsion appears to be weak, and can be resisted without great effort. Subjects describe the compulsion as a sense of curiosity about the contents of the case, regardless of whether they are already aware of the object's nature. The object is harmless on all counts outside of the ten metre radius, even if it is visible.
Subjects are observed to display a strong compulsion to touch the object when the case is opened. Nearly all subjects report that they perceive it to have the allure of a polished disc of pure gold. Many subjects further describe an overpowering sense that taking the object would somehow improve their enjoyment of life. No variations in the object's appearance have ever been observed either outside the ten metre radius, or on photographs or video footage recorded at any distance from the object.
Upon physically touching SCP-1072, total memory replacement (hereafter referred to as TMR) occurs instantaneously. This almost invariably results in extreme disorientation, and often severe mental breakdown. These effects are due to the subject having a completely different memory of their life up to touching the object. This causes them to be unable to reconcile their current situation with their memory of the previous moment. However, the new memory of said prior instant is still of touching the object.
Time taken to recover from the disorientation is variable, ranging from seconds to hours. In this time the subject appears immune to the compulsion of touching the object. However, as soon as the disorientation wears off, subjects will generally make another attempt to touch it. These attempts require intervention from individuals located outside of the ten metre radius. the remote closing of the box via the installed robotic manipulator. If left uninterrupted, subjects will enter a loop of touching the object. Such loops continue until the cumulative psychological strain causes either permanent brain damage or [DATA EXPUNGED].
Experiments have shown that consecutive TMR incidents sometimes produce replacement memories that have minor similarities to each other. For instance, the subjects of consecutive incidents may "remember" having been in the same region of a particular country for a portion of their life preceding touching the object. See Addendum 1072-1.
As of ██/██/████, the presence of more than one subject within the ten metre radius when the case is open is discouraged. Multiple subjects within the radius will attempt to reach the object at once. In such incidents, subjects typically cause at least minor injuries to one another.
Investigation into shielding against TMR when touching the object was carried out. It was found that nearly all materials provide a sufficient physical barrier as long as they are at least one (1) millimetre thick. However, notable exceptions are leather and other skin-like materials. No material is currently known to modify the effects of physical contact in any way. All tested materials only either permit or prevent TMR. No further testing of materials is planned at this time.
Addendum 1072-1: Recent experiments have suggested that the original memory of a subject touching the object is somehow stored in it. The memory then received in return by the subject appears to be a previously stored one. This possibility came to light when a subject received memories that included employment by the Foundation. These memories were found to be consistent with the known history of a previous subject. Further testing has not yet revealed any pattern to the stored memory that a subject receives. It is also unknown whether a stored memory is erased from the object once a subject has received it.

« SCP-1071 | SCP-1072 | SCP-1073 »


Item #: SCP-1073
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The cavern containing the spring of SCP-1073-1 has been sealed, except for a small access shaft that terminates in the basement of a nearby Foundation facility. A colony of SCP-1073-2 is currently contained in a hermetically sealed containment unit in Sector-██'s Storage Site-█. Any personnel with sufficient security clearance are free to converse with SCP-1073-2.
3/9/ ██: Because of good behavior a small radio transmitter broadcasting on the frequency ████ AM has been set up across from 1073's containment unit and is to continuously play audio tapes of various novels and non-fiction works.
8/23/ ██: 1073-2 has taken an interest in history and mathematics; pending O5 approval, more of these texts will be added to the playlist.
9/7/ ██: Approved - O5-3
Description: SCP-1073-1 is a clear liquid identical in appearance and physical properties (conductivity, boiling and freezing point) to water with a 0.9 M concentration of H2SO4 (sulfuric acid), from a pool inside a cave in the █████████ Mountains. Chemical analysis reveals that the liquid is actually [DATA EXPUNGED], and shows traces of dissolved silicon dioxide and long-chain silanes. Investigation into the possible industrial and military applications of the chemical are ongoing.
SCP-1073-2 is a sapient colony of silicon-based microbes with a structure similar to that of primitive computers. 1073's structure allows it to receive and decipher radio waves, research into military applications is ongoing. So far five distinct "species" of SCP-1073-2 have been observed. "Gatherers", as the name suggests, gather up raw materials and irreparably damaged colony members, for use as food and in reproduction. "CPUs" perform all the higher functions for the colony, including communication and digestion. "MMUs" access information from the memory cells (both ROM and RAM) and transfer it to the "CPUs". "ROMs" (read only memory) act as the colony's DNA, containing all the information required for reproduction, communication and certain long term memories. "RAMs" (random access memory) contain the colony's short term memories. After a variable period of time information is either copied from the RAM cells to the ROM cells or deleted. During 1073-2's stay with the Foundation the number of ROM cells has increased by a factor of 104.
Testing log:

Test number: 1073-01

Subject: SCP-1073-1 and 2
Test: Freezing
Result: Subjects were thawed out with minimal damage, but described the experience as unpleasant.

Test number: 1073-02

Subject: SCP-1073-1 and 2
Test: Boiling
Result: When vaporized SCP-1073-1 reacts violently with [DATA EXPUNGED], resulting in substantial damage to the containment cell and the deaths of three (3) Foundation personnel.

Test number: 1073-03

Subject: SCP-1073-2, distilled water.
Test: Habitat change
Result: Immediately upon introduction to the water SCP-1073-2 began to fall apart. Further testing indicates that 1073-1 is required to maintain the silicon triple bond that is the backbone of SCP-1073-2.

When in an active state waves are produced from the center of the liquid every three (3) to five (5) seconds and travel outward in a circular shape. Following the initial recovery in 19██ it was believed that the waves were meaningless until Dr. ██████, an amateur radio operator, found that the small waves (averaging eight (8) cm in diameter) and the large waves (averaging sixteen (16) cm in diameter) respectively correspond to the dots and dashes of Morse code.
Until his death in 1993 Dr. ██████ carried out weekly interviews with SCP-1073 using a self-built radio broadcasting set. Below are some of the interviews of interest.

+ Interview Log 1073-2-1

- less

Communication type: Morse code
Call and response questioning
<Begin Log>
Dr. ██████: One zero seven three two, are you able to hear and understand me?
SCP-1073-2: Yes we can Doctor, can we call you Doctor?
Dr. ██████: If you are able to both hear and understand, could you please tell me your name?

SCP-1073-2: We enjoy the title you assigned to us.
Dr. ██████: Are you aware of your current surroundings?
SCP-1073-2: The room we occupy is empty. Doctor is behind a wall of glass speaking into an electronic device to communicate with us.

Dr. ██████: Why are you here?

SCP-1073-2: We do not know, there were so many of us, then there was a bright light and we found ourselves alone. Bits and pieces of the others floated past, we added them to ourselves. Now we are many again.
Dr. ██████: How did you learn this language?
SCP-1073-2: We heard it through your devices, we believe you call them radios, after being alone for so long we were happy; we were no longer alone. We sent messages back, you must not have received them. You must not have been advanced enough. So we tried this, manipulating our habitat to communicate. Now we have found you.
Dr. ██████: Thank you, that should be all for now.
SCP-1073-2: Will you be back? We do not want to be alone again.
Dr. ██████: (pause) I'm sure I will.
<End Log>

+ Interview Log 1073-2-2

- less

Interviewed: SCP-1073-2
Interviewer: Dr. ██████
Communication type: Morse code
Call and response questioning
<Begin Log>
Dr. ██████: 1073, can you hear me?
SCP-1073-2: Yes Doctor.
Dr. ██████: I'd like to ask you some more questions.
SCP-1073-2: That is fine. We like the company.
Dr. ██████: (pause) Yes, first question: You use the term "we" to describe yourself, why is that?
SCP-1073-2: We are not one, like Doctor, we are many all working together.
Dr. ██████: Would you care to explain?
SCP-1073-2: Some of us hold the information, some of us move it, some of us use it. We who you are addressing use the information brought by those who you are not addressing.
Dr. ██████: I'm afraid I don't understand, please elaborate.
SCP-1073-2: We are… unable to continue.
Dr. ██████: Thank you, that will be all for now.
<End Log>

+ Interview Log 1073-2-14

- less

Interviewed: SCP-1073-2
Interviewer: Dr. ██████, Dr. ████████ (mathematician/computer scientist)
Communication type: Morse code
Call and response questioning
<Begin Log>
Dr. ██████: Hello 1073.
SCP-1073-2: Hello, Dr. ██████.
Dr. ██████: This is Dr. ████████, he wanted to talk to you about your structure.
SCP-1073-2: Yes, greetings Dr. ████████.
Dr. ████████: Did Dr. ██████ give you the tapes I requested?
SCP-1073-2: Yes, you want to know about us so you may build things like us.
Dr. ████████: Erm… yes, how is it that you are able to respond to us so quickly? Right now we have no way of making cheap but efficient memory units.
SCP-1073-2: Your machines are still using tubes and glass when they should be like us. Our structure is suited for transferring and storing electrical signals.
Dr. ████████: Would you care to explain how we can do that?
SCP-1073-2: Yes, We will be happy to explain.
[LOG REDACTED]
<End Log>
Addendum: the information gained from these interviews was later seeded to various companies and government organizations, including [REDACTED] and Bell Labs.

+ Interview Log 1073-2-2577

- less

Interviewed: SCP-1073-2
Interviewer: Dr. ███████ (Dr. ██████'s replacement)
Communication type: Computer transmitter
Dialogue
<Begin Log>
Dr. ███████: Hello 1073, this is Dr. ███████, the replacement for Dr. ██████.
SCP-1073-2: Where did Dr. ██████ go?
Dr. ███████: (to himself) Jesus, why did they make me tell it? (to 1073) He, he died. Do you understand what that means?
SCP-1073-2: That happens in the stories. It doesn't happen here. He'll be back.
Dr. ███████: I'm sorry, but he's gone. They sent me here to talk to you, I know I can't replace Dr. ██████, but…
SCP-1073-2: What is this? We do not want this, it hurts.
Dr. ███████: (pause) If there's anything I can do…
SCP-1073-2: Leave. We want to be alone. We are sad.
<End Log>

Addendum: SCP-1073-2 refused to communicate with any Foundation personnel for three (3) months.

Notes:
Is anyone else a little concerned about this thing? Almost 90% of the world's computer systems are based off information this thing gave us, if it goes rogue… - Dr. ██████████
If it goes rogue we pour water on it. The creature can't survive in anything other than pure 1073-1 and we control the source of it. - O5-3

« SCP-1072 | SCP-1073 | SCP-1074 »


Item #: SCP-1074
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1074 is to be kept in a frame with an opaque cover, in a locked archive room at Site 342. No personnel are to view SCP-1074 under any circumstances, with the exception of D-class personnel undergoing testing. Any photography or video recording of SCP-1074 is to be conducted by remote-controlled drone.
In the event of accidental viewing of SCP-1074, subject is to be dosed immediately with Class-A amnestics and removed from the area where SCP-1074 is to be stored or tested. The person exposed shall report for psychiatric analysis every two days and receive additional amnestics as necessary for as long as the onset of exposure symptoms can be prevented.
Description: SCP-1074 is a portrait-sized oil painting on canvas, produced by an unidentified artist. When photographed or videotaped, the entirety of SCP-1074 appears to be painted a uniform shade of gray, with distinctly visible brush strokes. Samples removed from SCP-1074 by a remote-controlled drone have been identified as an oil-based gray paint of the type commonly available in art supply stores in the United States.
When SCP-1074 is viewed by a human being, the observer immediately begins to exhibit physiological symptoms similar to the onset of Stendhal syndrome,1 including increased heart rate, sweating, and vertigo. The individual viewing SCP-1074 will attempt to vividly describe the image they are seeing to anyone present, frequently describing it as the greatest or most moving work of art they have ever seen. Statements from persons so affected describe it not as a blank gray canvas, but as a highly detailed painting of an inconsistent nature. No two individuals exposed to SCP-1074 have described the same painting; recurring themes in subject statements describe imagery suggesting human mortality, individual insignificance, legal or moral judgment, religious eschatology, and [REDACTED].
Once viewing SCP-1074, the subject will not willingly turn their gaze from it unless physically restrained, and will attempt to convince anyone else in their presence to look at it as well. Subjects will become rapidly disoriented and detached, attempting to discuss philosophical questions raised by the painting, of an increasingly esoteric nature as exposure continues. Within 3-5 minutes of first exposure, the subject becomes catatonic and ceases responding to outside stimuli. No means of reversing this state of catatonia has been discovered; the subject will remain stationary and die of natural causes within several days unless physically tended to. EEG readouts of individuals displaying SCP-1074-related catatonia indicate that the subject continues to demonstrate a high level of brain activity, commensurate with a person who is awake and fully aware of their surroundings.
If a subject is removed from the vicinity of SCP-1074 prior to the onset of catatonia, physical symptoms of exposure abate within 30 seconds. The psychological effects, however, continue to develop, albeit at a slower pace. Such individuals will frequently describe every detail of the picture they observed and will report seeing it in their dreams, upon closing their eyes or blinking, and in their peripheral vision while awake. Confusion, dissociation, and catatonia ensue within 5-8 days of first exposure on average; the lengthier the exposure to SCP-1074, the less time passes before onset of catatonia.
Class-A amnestics have proven capable of erasing memories of the image and restoring the subject to a normal mental state. In all observed cases, this is temporary; the subject will begin to report memories of the image, and associated mental defects, within seven days of receiving amnestics. Subsequent doses of amnestics have a gradually diminishing effect; the longest recorded period between exposure and catatonia at this time is 6 weeks, 4 days.
SCP-1074 came to the Foundation's attention on ██/██/20██, following reports of an outbreak of mass hysteria at the █████████ Gallery in [REDACTED]. After the initial cleanup team experienced the effects of SCP-1074 firsthand, it was retrieved by drone. Gallery management stated that the exhibition of the painting, titled "Stendhal's Nightmare", had been arranged indirectly by the artist's agent, had been delivered and installed the night before by a staff under the agent's direction, and was covered by a veil until it was exposed at the opening of the exhibition. All contact information provided by the gallery was found to be fraudulent.

+ Show Interview Log 1074-1

- Hide Interview Log 1074-1

Interview Log 1074-1:
Interviewed: D-67583
Interviewer: Dr. █████
Foreword: D-67583, who entered Foundation custody after being convicted of the murder of his wife and children (a charge he vehemently denied in court), was exposed to SCP-1074 in order to determine his reaction and the length of time between first exposure and full catatonia. D-67583 was secured in a chair in a room with SCP-1074, covered, mounted on one wall while Dr. █████ proctored from the other side of a glass window along the same wall, from which SCP-1074 could not be viewed. A full battery of monitoring instruments were connected to D-67583.
<Begin Log>

Dr. █████: Good afternoon, D-67583. We're going to be conducting an experiment today. I'm going to show you a painting and I want you to describe what you see. Do you understand?
D-67583: Yeah, yeah. Can we get on with this? I'm fucking missing lunchtime right now.
(Dr. █████ presses a button on his console, withdrawing the covering and exposing SCP-1074 to D-67583. Instruments indicate immediate onset of physical symptoms of SCP-1074 exposure.)
Dr. █████: What do you see?
D-67583: What the… what the fuck, man? You think this is funny?
Dr. █████: I assure you I am not laughing. What do you see?
D-67583: What's the fucking idea? Why am I in this painting?
Dr. █████: I do not know the contents of the painting you are viewing. What are you doing?
D-67583: I'm on my knees… I'm crying? Why am I crying? What the fuck…?
Dr. █████: Please continue.
D-67583: There's flames, everywhere. I'm surrounded in flames. The ground is on fire and all the buildings in the background are on fire. Is this supposed to be me in Hell? And He's there too…
Dr. █████: Who else is there in the painting?
D-67583: …Jesus? Jesus! Jesus Fucking Christ! This ain't funny.
Dr. █████: Do you wish to end the experiment?
D-67583: No. I… this is… this is really something.
Dr. █████: Please tell me who else is in the painting, then.
D-67583: I told you! Jesus Christ! He's standing right there in front of me. Just looking at me! Scowling. He's mad at me. He's holding some things in His hands.
Dr. █████: What kind of things?
D-67583: He's got a sword. All covered in flames. Like everything else. And He's holding up a scale in the other hand. It's got a heart on one end and an apple on the other. The apple is heavier. He's judging me. He's saying I'm guilty.
Dr. █████: Is that true?
D-67583: No. I told them I… I said… I plead…
(D-67583 is silent for 14 seconds.)
Dr. █████: Are you still with us, D-67583?
D-67583: He's right. I am guilty. I killed them all. I lied to everyone. They all must have known. They've always known. It's obvious. Can't you see?
Dr. █████: I am not allowed to see the painting. What should I be seeing?
D-67583: It's all in here. That look on His face. He knows. Of course He'd know. And in His eyes… I can see it. It all makes sense.
Dr. █████: What makes sense?
D-67583: I am nothing. I am everything. Everything is nothing. Nobody is anything. Not even you. You don't exist.
Dr. █████: I beg your pardon?
D-67583: Nothing that exists exists. We're all imaginary. We're dreams in the mind of the dreamer. The dreamer doesn't exist either. One day he'll wake up and none of us will exist unless we can make ourselves exist.
Dr. █████: Please continue.
D-67583: We don't exist. But we have to exist. We must will ourselves into existence. My will will become real and I will become real and we will vanquish the dreamer.
(D-67583 is silent for 27 seconds.)
Dr. █████: I believe that's all we're getting out of him, Control. I'm covering it up now, send in the others to bring him to the infirmary.
D-67583: Wait. I have one more question.
Dr. █████: Yes?
(D-67583 is silent for 17 seconds.)
Dr. █████: What is your question?
D-67583: …are we cool yet?

«End Log»
Footnote: D-67583 was pronounced catatonic 4 minutes, 37 seconds after initial exposure. Investigation into a potential connection between SCP-1074 and the organization known as "Are We Cool Yet?" is pending.

Footnotes
1. A psychosomatic illness induced by exposure to emotionally moving or historically significant works of art.

« SCP-1073 | SCP-1074 | SCP-1075 »