SCP-7214 Certified 2 September 2005
SCP-7214 Certified 19 May 2009

Item#: 7214

Level2

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
vlam

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

SCP-7214 at site of discovery, prior to restoration.

Special Containment Procedures
SCP-7214 is to receive routine cleaning and maintenance every 14 days, consisting of interior and exterior dusting with a feather duster or other soft implement, followed by wiping with a clean damp washcloth. Residual moisture is to be removed with a second unused dry cloth.
Every 28 days, or immediately following the start of an SCP-7214-01 Event, SCP-7214 must undergo a complete inspection for any sign of stains, abrasions, warping, mildew, rust, infestation, or any other damage or blemishes. All wear and damage must be repaired immediately, and additional wax or polish applied as needed.
Routine maintenance has been shown to reduce, but not fully prevent, the occurrence of SCP-7214-01 events. Maintenance beyond the regular intervals prescribed in this document is not advised, as damage sustained from excessive cleaning has also been shown to trigger SCP-7214-01 events.
Description
SCP-7214 is an 18th century oak armoire, consisting of one interior chamber with cabinet doors set above two sliding drawers. Each cabinet door is connected to the body of the armoire by two sets of steel hinges, and is ornamented by decorative ironwork. SCP-7214 measures 196 cm x 152 cm x 90 cm, and weighs 150 kg.
During periods of prolonged disuse, neglect, or damage, SCP-7214 begins to produce a number of anomalous environmental effects, collectively described as an SCP-7214-01 event. These effects have remained limited to a 200 m radius since current containment procedures were implemented.
Observed effects include:

Production of diffuse metallic screeching sounds at volumes of up to 30 dB
Malfunctioning of electronic equipment.
Tremors and vibrations felt in furniture and small objects.
A foul smell resembling that of decaying organic matter.
Feelings of headache, nausea, confusion, and fatigue in individuals within the area of effect.

After appropriate containment intervention has taken place, most effects dissipate within 4 to 6 hours. In some instances, lingering effects have been observed for up to 7 days. Individuals exposed to an SCP-7214-01 event have reported feelings of dread, anxiety and depression during this cool down period. No additional effects or lasting harm resulting from multiple exposures have been observed.
The above documentation has been certified by Dr. Lorenzo Ventnor, Chief Administrator of the Department of Paracarpentry and Domestic Anomalies.

Item#: 7214

Level2

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
vlam

Risk Class:
danger

link to memo

SCP-7214 at site of discovery, prior to restoration.

Special Containment Procedures
SCP-7214 is to be contained in a 40,000 m2 annex adjacent to Site-277, along with SCP-7214-A. Additional intervention by Foundation personnel is not required, as SCP-7214-A obsessively performs routine maintenance.
Description
SCP-7214 is an 18th century oak armoire, consisting of one interior chamber with cabinet doors set above two sliding drawers. Each cabinet door is connected to the body of the armoire by two sets of steel hinges, and is ornamented by decorative ironwork. SCP-7214 measures 196 cm x 152 cm x 90 cm, and weighs 150 kg.
During periods of prolonged disuse, neglect, or damage, SCP-7214 produces a number of anomalous environmental effects, including auditory and olfactory disturbances, tremors, and malfunctioning of electronics, collectively described as an SCP-7214-01 event. Repeated exposure to SCP-7214-01 events has been shown to cause irreparable psychological harm to humans. Symptoms of prolonged exposure include generalized apathy, listlessness, irritability, lessening of empathy, inability to perform essential duties of self-care, and sociopathy. Individuals suffering from symptoms of prolonged exposure to SCP-7214 represent a threat to public safety, and Foundation personnel are authorized to take all necessary steps to prevent them from harming the public or themselves.
SCP-7214-A is a 62 year old human male. He is to remain in containment for the duration of his retirement.
The above documentation has been certified by Dr. Melissa Woodridge, Chief Administrator of the Department of Paracarpentry and Domestic Anomalies.

Site-277

THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTATION IS INCLUDED FOR REFERENCE PURPOSES ONLY. ACCESS BY NON-ADMINISTRATIVE PERSONNEL IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.

+ Email correspondence archived 13 November, 2005, 15:24

- Exit

To: DR. LORENZO VENTNOR (772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|rontneV_L#772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|rontneV_L)
From: DR. MELISSA WOODRIDGE (772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|egdirdooW_M#772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|egdirdooW_M)
Subject: SCP-7214 Readings

Lorenzo,
I've conducted the readings you asked for on the current SCP-7214-A event and the results were as I'd expected. Disruption levels are pretty much flat across the site. At least, nothing that can't be explained by the variations we normally see during the course of an event.
Jean performed the graphic spectral analysis you asked for and from what he showed me his results were no better. No concentrations of effects in any one area, and no empty pockets, either. Quantum readings were just as useless.
I don't know if it even makes sense to file this, since it's a lot of work to tell us what we already knew. It's not proximity based, it's a blanket effect. At least, if there's any way to modify or shape its area of effect, we don't have it.
It was worth a try, but it doesn't look like there would be any point in relocating your office.
– Melissa

Statement on Budgetary Proposal D0157-006065-G
12 January, 2006
The Department of Paracarpentry and Domestic Anomalies' request for funding for expanded interdepartmental research into containment of SCP-7214 is hereby DENIED.
Although SCP-7214 has been shown to possess properties that may at times transcend its containment area, these properties have always been localized to a limited and predictable area of effect. Furthermore, adequate methods to combat these effects have been identified and implemented. Beyond this, SCP-7214 is itself virtually incapable of breaching containment, as it is an inanimate object weighing 150 kg.
It is the opinion of the Budgetary Commission that SCP-7214 does not present a level of risk that merits special funding for further investigation. It would be inadvisable to divert resources from more essential departments to address an anomaly that has already been effectively contained.
Office of the Budgetary Commission

Incident Report 277-006-00002
The following incident report is compiled from a review of all pertinent video footage and direct interviews with involved personnel.
On 15 February, 2006, at 13:05, D-Class personnel D-18752 sustained a workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other) in the performance of his routine duties. Reasonable attempts at resuscitation were made but were unsuccessful, and the personnel succumbed to his injuries.
While attempting to inspect for signs of possible termite infestation during an SCP-7214-01 event, D-18752 entered the main chamber of SCP-7214, allowing both doors to close behind him. Following closure of the doors, D-18752 could be heard vocalizing distress from inside the chamber, followed by pounding sounds from within. After 45 seconds, vocalizations became muffled as a thick, white, odorless steam began to rise from SCP-7214, and a viscous pink substance began to pour from its lower drawers to the floor of its containment chamber. Emergency personnel arrived approximately 5 minutes from the start of the incident, and opened the main chamber of SCP-7214 to find only D-18752's Foundation-issued uniform and three gold teeth, coated in the previously noted pink slime. The continued non-localized sound of muffled vocalizations continued for 45 minutes following the incident. The interior of SCP-7214 showed no signs of harm.
As the ongoing SCP-7214-01 event ended at the conclusion of this incident, further maintenance procedures were not attempted. Special cleaning of SCP-7214's chamber was completed without incident.

Addendum A-7214.01
Effective 20 February, 2006:
All maintenance and cleaning procedures are to be performed with no fewer than two personnel in SCP-7214's containment chamber at once.
If internal maintenance is performed, one door must be manually held open by a second individual standing on the exterior of SCP-7214 at all times.
If any human is fully sealed inside the main chamber of SCP-7214, SCP-7214 may spontaneously convert the individual inside to liquid form, by a process categorized as an SCP-7214-02 event. No method by which to interrupt or reverse an SCP-7214-02 event has been identified.
SCP-7214's risk class is updated to “Danger” pending further study.

+ Email correspondence archived 27 April, 2006 10:53

- Exit

To: DR. LORENZO VENTNOR (772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|rontneV_L#772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|rontneV_L)
From: DR. MELISSA WOODRIDGE (772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|egdirdooW_M#772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|egdirdooW_M)
Subject: We need you back at the Site

Lorenzo,
I'd say I hope you're feeling better, but I think we both know what's going on here. It's not going to be long before someone higher up than me notices how you've been timing your sick days.
Quarterly departmental reviews start Thursday, and I can't find where you've put most of the testing logs from the past three months. It looks like half of the files were never digitized, and a good chunk of the ones that were have been misclassified, so we're going to have to redo everything from the ground up.
You might not be planning to be here much longer, but if I'm going to be taking over when you're gone, I need this department to still be functional. I don't care what the rest of them say, we do good work here, and it's work that needs to be done. I don't know how important it is to you anymore, but when I'm the one running it I'd like it to be a department I can still be proud of. So many other departments think we're a waste of space. Don't prove them right.
– Melissa
By the way, the SCP-7214-01 event started winding down this morning. It should be over by tomorrow if that's any motivation.

Statement on Budgetary Proposal D0157-006065-G
18 June, 2006
The Department of Paracarpentry and Domestic Anomalies' request for funding to construct additional facilities to house SCP-7214 is hereby DENIED.
The Budgetary Commission recognizes that Site-277's minimalistic construction requires staff to work within range of SCP-7214's more disruptive effects. However, SCP-7214's disruptive effects do not create any challenges to effective containment, nor do they introduce any demonstrable risk of containment breach. Though unpleasant, they pose minimal threat of lasting physical or mental harm to Foundation personnel. As Site-277 has functioned and contained SCP-7214 successfully up to this point, there is no indication that site productivity will increase if containment facilities are expanded.
Furthermore, given the relatively low importance of Site-277 to broader Foundation operations, and the narrow sphere of relevance of the Department of Paracarpentry and Domestic Anomalies, it would be irresponsible to make significant infrastructure investments at this time. Current Foundation priorities do not leave room for constructing a 40,000 m2 annex to Site-277 just to contain a wardrobe.
Office of the Budgetary Commission

Incident Report 277-006-00003
The following incident report is compiled from a review of all pertinent video footage and direct interviews with involved personnel.
On 17 November, 2006, at 11:40, D-Class personnel D-18902 sustained a workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other) in the performance of her routine duties. Reasonable attempts at resuscitation were made but were unsuccessful, and the personnel succumbed to her injuries.
During detailed maintenance being performed in response to an SCP-7214-01 event, D-18902 entered the main chamber of SCP-7214 to check for abrasions. When she was fully inside the chamber, fellow D-Class personnel D-18801 was observed stepping away from the door to SCP-7214 to stretch. Shortly thereafter the door to SCP-7214 closed, after which an SCP-7214-02 event occurred.
SCP-7214 sustained no visible damage from this incident. No further maintenance actions were taken as the inciting SCP-7214-01 event had ended.

Addendum A-7214.02
Effective 22 December, 2006:
Owing to the possibility of sustaining damage from repeated direct exposure to SCP-7214-01 events, electronic equipment, including video and audio recording devices, is not to be stored in or adjacent to SCP-7214's containment chamber.

Incident Report 277-006-00004
The following incident report is compiled from direct interviews with involved personnel.
On 23 December, 2006, at 12:44, D-Class personnel D-18801 sustained a workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other) in the performance of his routine duties.
D-18801 was performing routine maintenance, during which time an SCP-7214-02 event occurred.
No damage to SCP-7214 was observed.

Re: Budgetary Proposal D0157-007089-F
3 March, 2007
Dr. Ventnor,
We have received your multiple requests for additional resources to contain the environmental effects of SCP-7214. These requests have been DISMISSED, and will not receive further review.
Please recognize that though working in close proximity to SCP-7214 may be a nuisance to you and your staff, it does not constitute a threat worthy of further intervention.
There is a hierarchy of priority at the Foundation. Though we value the work you do at Site-277, and appreciate your high rate of successful containment, we must allocate resources according to need, and invest in safety measures according to risk. Until you have demonstrated that any objects covered under your department require more than mundane maintenance, observation, storage and inspection, please do not submit any further proposals for special funding. Your department's budget has been set, and will be limited to basic operational equipment and personnel needs.
If you continue to file frivolous requests, you will be recommended for disciplinary action.
Speaking frankly, Dr. Ventnor, other departments are developing ways to mitigate existential threats to humanity, unlock the mysteries of the cosmos, and preserve the fabric of reality itself. Your department operates a furniture warehouse. If you don't like being around the effects of SCP-7214, find a better way to contain them.
Eileen Banner
Office of the Budgetary Commission

+ Email correspondence archived 5 March, 2007 14:22

– hide block

To: DR. LORENZO VENTNOR (772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|rontneV_L#772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|rontneV_L)
From: DR. MELISSA WOODRIDGE (772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|egdirdooW_M#772.yrtnepracarap.pcs|egdirdooW_M)
Subject: How dare you

Lorenzo,
I just read your petition, and I'm honestly shocked you would even consider submitting this. Relief from a "hostile work environment"? Really? What do you think it says when a department head demands to be transferred out of his own department? How does that reflect on his worksite? How does that reflect on his staff? How does that reflect on ME, Lorenzo?
Please, if you have any respect left for this site at all, you won't submit this. I know how many years you've put into it, but think about all the years I still have ahead. If you're really that checked out, if you really want to just count down the days until you're out of here, I can't stop you. But don't drag the rest of us through the mud on your way out.
– Melissa

Memo #70582-00068
17 May, 2007
To All Department Heads:
Given the reduction in available administrative staff owing to quarantine precautions stemming from the ongoing ▇▇-Class incident originating in ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇, the Budgetary Commission will be postponing review of requests from all nonessential departments. All nonessential special projects are to be halted, and applications will resume once normalcy has been established.
Only routine requisitions for basic operating materials and personnel may be submitted at this time. All requests will be approved pending review, but department heads must retain documentation of all expenditures, as audits will begin once full administrative capacity is regained.
Thank you for your understanding in this difficult time.
Office of the Budgetary Commission

Addendum R-7214.01
Effective 18 May, 2007, Addendum A-7214.01 is hereby rescinded.

Addendum A-7214.03
Effective 18 May, 2007
Inspection of SCP-7214 conducted in response to an SCP-7214-01 event is to be performed by a single D-Class staff member. Inspection must begin with a full review of SCP-7214's main interior chamber. All personnel performing this inspection are to be equipped with a flashlight and damp rag, which they must hold at all times. Research staff may be stationed in SCP-7214's containment chamber to ensure compliance with proper containment protocols.

_

+ Incident Report 277-007-00005- Exit

Incident Report 277-007-00005
The following incident report is compiled from direct interviews with involved personnel.
On 19 May, 2007, at 12:02, D-Class personnel D-18923 sustained a workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other) in the performance of his routine duties.
D-18923 was performing routine maintenance in response to an SCP-7214-01 event, during which time an SCP-7214-02 event occurred.
The SCP-7214-01 event ended, and no damage to SCP-7214 was observed.

_

+ Incident Report 277-007-00006- Exit

Incident Report 277-007-00006
On 2 June, 2007, at 13:20, D-Class personnel D-18989 sustained a workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other) in the performance of her routine duties.
D-18989 was performing routine maintenance in response to an SCP-7214-01 event, during which time an SCP-7214-02 event occurred.
The SCP-7214-01 event ended, and no damage to SCP-7214 was observed.

Addendum A-7214.04
Effective 28 June, 2007 routine cleaning is to be performed on SCP-7214 on an as-needed basis, under the direct supervision of Dr. Lorenzo Ventnor.

_

+ Incident Report 277-007-00007- Exit

Incident Report 277-007-00007
On June 29, 2007, at 12:45, D-Class personnel D-19016 sustained a workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other) in the performance of her routine duties.
D-19016 was performing routine maintenance in response to an SCP-7214-01 event, during which time an SCP-7214-02 event occurred.
The SCP-7214-01 event ended, and no damage to SCP-7214 was observed.

_

+ Incident Report 277-007-00071- Exit

Incident Report 277-007-00071
On 1 September, 2007, at 12:27, D-Class personnel D-19131 sustained a routine workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other).

_

+ Incident Report 277-007-00104- Exit

Incident Report 277-007-00104
On 4 October, 2007, at 12:10, D-Class personnel D-19194 sustained a routine workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other).

_

+ Incident Report 277-007-00168- Exit

Incident Report 277-007-00168
On 8 December, 2007, at 14:01, D-Class personnel D-19287 sustained a routine workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other).

Addendum A-7214.05
Effective 30 December, 2007
SCP-7214 is to be held within a modified containment chamber fitted with a drainage system and hose.

_

+ Incident Report 277-008-00248- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00248
On 27 February, 2008, at 13:45, D-Class personnel D-19508 sustained a routine workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other).

_

+ Incident Report 277-008-00343- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00343
On 1 June, 2008, at 13:08, D-Class personnel D-19699 sustained a routine workplace injury (Type C-107.05: liquification, other).

_

+ Incident Report 277-008-00355- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00355
See previous report.

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+ Incident Report 277-008-00369- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00369
See previous report.

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+ Incident Report 277-008-00391- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00391
See previous report.

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+ Incident Report 277-008-00422- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00422
Does anyone even read these?

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+ Incident Report 277-008-00431- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00431
"

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+ Incident Report 277-008-00444- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00444
"

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+ Incident Report 277-008-00457- Exit

Incident Report 277-008-00457
"

B.0002-277: Minutes from the Provisional Hearing of the Budgetary Commission into Examining the Misuse of Foundation Resources at Site-277, 17 November, 2008
Testimony of Dr. Lorenzo Ventnor, Chief Administrator, Department of Paracarpentry and Domestic Anomalies
Speaker of the Office of the Budgetary Commission
Before we begin, I would like to remind you that the purpose of this hearing is not to determine your guilt or innocence regarding the actions we're investigating. We're only seeking to understand what happened, so we can identify the causes of the issues at hand, and better address them moving forward. This is not a disciplinary hearing: the Budgetary Commission has no authority to discipline Foundation staff members. This is just an audit. Is this understood?
Dr. Lorenzo Ventnor
Understood.
Speaker
Excellent; we can begin. So, Dr. Ventnor, can you please explain, to the best of your ability, what's wrong with you?
Dr. Ventnor
What do you–
Speaker
You had one year to run your department without direct oversight of routine expenses. That's not an outrageous thing to ask. In fact, being able to manage a simple budget is entirely within the expected skill set of a department head. One year. Do you know how many personnel you cost the Foundation during that period?
Dr. Ventnor
I can estimate–
Speaker
You don't need to estimate. We know. We all know. The fact that you don't know is mortifying, if not unsurprising. Are you a child?
Dr. Ventnor
I don't see how–
Speaker
Because a living, breathing functioning adult must have at least a shred of self-reflection, duty or restraint, all qualities which appear to be alien to you.
Dr. Ventnor
If I could–
Speaker
The resources of the Foundation are vast, Dr. Ventnor, but not limitless. More importantly, our resources do not exceed our costs: the Foundation has access to as much funding as it does because every penny is necessary for it to serve its purpose. Do you understand?
Dr. Ventnor
I think I–
Speaker
The Commission cannot stress strongly enough that no Foundation staff member is of negligible value. Do you have any idea how many hours of recruiting, vetting, orientation and training goes into onboarding even a single Domestic-Class staff member? Do you have any concept of how many people the Foundation employs, with full salaries and benefits, just to perform those duties? Are all of those resources worth nothing to you?
Dr. Ventnor
The other departments–
Speaker
The actions of other departments will be assessed according to their needs. This hearing isn't an audit of other departments. It's an audit of your department. The furniture department. There is no doubt that at some times, in some departments, some sacrifices must be made, but this Commission fails to see how a sacrifice of over 500 human lives is necessary to keep a wardrobe secure.
Dr. Ventnor
I may have–
Speaker
Human lives aren't free, Dr. Ventnor. They're not breadcrumbs to be thrown to the ducks, or pennies to be tossed down a wishing well. They're costly, fragile, and essential to the Foundation's operation. At this point in your career you may be more concerned with your pension than your department, but the resources you've squandered are worth more than your pension a dozen times over. Bearing this in mind, do you have anything to say in your defense?
Deputy Secretary
Madam Speaker, your time has elapsed.
Speaker
Very well, this hearing is adjourned. We'll pick up after lunch with the inquest into irregular overtime pay at Site-98.
Dr. Ventnor
Do I at least-
Speaker
This may come as a surprise to you, Dr. Ventnor, but the Commission has responsibilities that extend far beyond sitting here listening to you make excuses. If you have anything else to say, you may submit it in writing. This hearing is adjourned.

Re: Budgetary Proposal D0157-007122-F
19 December, 2008
Dr. Woodridge,
Your budgetary proposal for special infrastructure projects at Site-277 has been provisionally APPROVED, pending reclassification of SCP-7214.
Please keep careful documentation of all costs and expenditures, as they will be reviewed monthly until all projects are completed.
Eileen Brenner,
Office of the Budgetary Commission

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