Item #: SCP-7145
Object Class: Safe
Containment Procedures: SCP-7145 is currently stored in Item Locker #7145 in Site-19's anomalous item storage. No further procedures are considered necessary
Under no circumstances is Dr. Patra to be permitted access to SCP-7145. A keycard lock has been outfitted onto Item Locker #7145 requiring Level 4 access or higher with the exception of Dr. Patra's keycard, which will be denied at any level.

SCP-7145

Description: SCP-7145 is a standard magic 8-ball fortune-telling novelty item produced by Mattel, Inc. The outer shell of the object is constructed of plastic and colored to appear similar to an oversized number 8 billiards ball with the exception of a window allowing the user to view the object's interior. The interior consists of roughly 100ml of alcohol and a single 20-sided icosahedron die floating within. The die is inscribed on each side with varying answers to binary yes-or-no questions.
Whenever a subject asks a binary yes-or-no question and shakes SCP-7145 immediately proceeding, the die will display one of the 20 sides inscribed with an answer to the question. If the question asked relates to a matter which can be proven with unequivocal fact, the returned answer will always be correct. This is true regardless of whether or not the events required to transpire in order to prove the answer correct have occurred. Investigation is currently ongoing into whether the object alters reality such that its responses are correct or if the object is only capable of correctly predicting what is already going to happen.
Addendum 7145-1: Testing Logs
Certain logs have been redacted for brevity. You may request a full list of test logs from your site's documentation department.

► Pre-Voluntary Testing Period

▼ Close Logs

Test Number: 001
Subject: D-86753
Input Statement: "Will those assholes in the booth ever shut up?"
Output: "As I see it, yes."
Results: Per standard protocol, assigned testing staff were silent. It is uncertain if this was also due to SCP-7145's properties.

Test Number: 002
Subject: D-86753
Input Statement: "Does Mary still love me?"
Output: "Don't count on it."
Result: Mary McKay was questioned by an undercover MTF agent, who confessed that her feelings for D-86753 had waned during his incarceration and no longer cared for him.

Test Number: 003
Subject: D-86753
Input Statement: "Will I ever see Mary again?"
Output: "You may rely on it."
Result: As part of an unrelated investigation, Mary McKay was brought in to Site-19 for questioning. D-86753 confessed to seeing her as she was being escorted to an interview room.

Test Number: 008
Subject: D-77238
Input Statement: "Will I be a millionaire tomorrow?"
Output: "As I see it, yes."
Result: The following day, D-77238's mother, father, and grandfather were all killed in a vehicle collision. The resulting life insurance payouts and transfers from the individuals final wills total roughly $1.3 million dollars. D-77238's assets were frozen within the following hour.

Note: Following this test, SCP-7145 was cleared for voluntary staff testing.

► Voluntary Testing-inclusive Period

▼ Close Logs

Test Number: 12
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: "Will the cafeteria lunch be any good today?"
Output: "Ask again later."
Result: Null. This is the first instance of SCP-7145 returning an inconclusive response.

Test Number: 17
Subject: D-68750
Input Statement: "Will I be getting out of here any time soon?"
Output: "Most likely."
Result: Security teams have been advised of the potential for D-68750's escape. At the time of writing, nothing has occurred to confirm the output.

Test Number: 18
Subject: Dr. Connors
Input Statement: "Will D-68750 escape the facility?"
Output: "My sources say no."
Result: Inconclusive. This appears to contradict the output of the previous test. This has lead to the belief in some research staff that SCP-7145 will lie to subjects in order to bring them comfort. Confirmation of this theory would imply some level of sentience inherent to SCP-7145.

Test Number: 19
Subject: D-68750
Input Statement: "Is there an afterlife?"
Output: "It is certain."
Result: Inconclusive. This test was performed informally. During pre-testing object retrieval, SCP-018 broke containment, then bounced down a corridor and into the anomalous item storage facility, where it struck D-68750. D-68750 sustained three broken ribs and a ruptured lung. Test was performed as D-68750 lay injured on the facility floor. D-68750 was pronounced dead within ten minutes, and was transferred to an off-site graveyard. Following this incident, involuntary D-class testing has been phased out.

► Involuntary Testing Ban Period

▼ Close Logs

Test Number: 21
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: "Will the cafeteria lunch be any good today?"
Output: "Ask again later."
Result: Null, results have not varied relative to test number 12.

Test Number: 22
Subject: Dr. Sheeran
Input Statement: "Will I finally receive a promotion at the meeting tonight?"
Output: "Outlook good."
Result: On 1/24/2022, Dr. Sheeran received a promotion to the status of Level-4 Senior Researcher.

Test Number: 23
Subject: Dr. Sheeran
Input Statement: "Oh magic ball, will you ever do me wrong?"
Output: "Yes."
Result: Dr. Sheeran retrieved SCP-7145 for testing excitedly, but left the storage facility after returning it to its locker markedly downtrodden. Dr. Sheeran would be struck by a commuter bus on his drive home later that night, rendering him unable to continue service. Following this incident, all testing has been phased out. Requests to use SCP-7145 for testing must be directed to Dr. Patra for approval.

► By Request Only Testing Period

▼ Close Logs

Test Number: 24
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: "Will the cafeteria lunch be any good today?"
Output: "Ask again later."
Result: Null, results have not varied relative to test number 12.

Test Number: 25
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: "Will the cafeteria lunch be any good today?"
Output: "Ask again later."
Result: Null, results have not varied relative to test number 12.

38 redundant logs redacted for brevity.

Test Number: 63
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: "Please, just tell me if the food is gonna be good or not."
Output: "Ask again later."
Result: Null, results have not varied relative to test number 12.

Test Number: 64
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: "Is the response to the next question I ask going to be 'ask again later?'"
Output: "Without a doubt."
Result: This is the first deviation in output to testing wherein Dr. Patra is the subject. This caused Dr. Patra to stare at SCP-7145 for a considerable length of time, before performing test number 65.

Test Number: 65
Subject: Dr. Patra
Input Statement: Null. Dr. Patra began to beat herself in the forehead repeatedly, using SCP-7145 as a bludgeoning tool.
Output(s): "Ask again later." "Ask again later." "Ask again later." "Ask again later." "Ask again later." "Ask again later." "Ask again later." "Ask again later." +8 more…
Result: Dr. Patra sustained considerable head trauma and fell into a comatose state before site security noticed the incident occurring and apprehended her. Dr. Patra was immediately transported to the Site-19 Medical Wing.

Addendum 7145-2: Patient First Verbal Response Log (PFVRL)

► Patra PFVRL 1 - 2/28/2022

▼ Close Log

Log Date: 2/28/2022
Patient: Dr. Patra
Responding Medical Staff: Dr. Wheeling
Begin Log.

Dr. Patra groans, then grasps her forehead. She groans louder as her hand makes an impact on her head wound.

Dr. Wheeling: Sunrise, parabellum!
Dr. Patra: Ugh.
Dr. Wheeling: Hello, miss. Do you know where-
Dr. Patra: Site-19, I guess this is the medical wing. I'm Cleo, and I beat myself with that fucking 8-ball.
Dr. Wheeling: Oh good, your thoughts and memories are quite intact, at least so far.
Dr. Patra: I was kind of hoping my first medical report would be from something more, I don't know, badass. This is just embarrassing. God, and the fucking headache.

Dr. Patra grabs her head gently, attempting to massage her temples.

Dr. Wheeling: Hey, I've seen people come in here for far more embarrassing first-times. I promise this one's not as dumb as it could be. Although, what did you go and do that for in the first place?
Dr. Patra: I really don't want to answer that.
Dr. Wheeling: As much as I'd like to say I'm only asking out of curiosity, I'm also asking for procedure. Sorry.
Dr. Patra: Ugh. I think I… Honestly, I think I wanted to break it. Just so I don't have to go back to it.
Dr. Wheeling: Elaborate.
Dr. Patra: It's just that stupid response! I can't just leave and put it down and be content without knowing the answer. I have to keep going back! I'm not talking about your average unfulfilled curiosity, I don't have a choice! I can't just not go back and ask about my fucking lunch again.
Dr. Wheeling: If it helps, it wasn't the cafeteria's best ham and potatoes today.
Dr. Patra: Thanks for the gesture, but it doesn't help. Just-

Dr. Patra groans and grabs the sides of her head again.

Dr. Patra: Do you have any idea as to when I'll be good enough to get out of here and incur whatever wrath is awaiting me at the disciplinary hearing I'm gonna get?
Dr. Wheeling: Well, you've sustained considerable trauma to the noggin, including a grade-3 concussion, which, y'know, is not good. You've also got a pretty decent wound and a lot of bruising where you attempted to bash your skull in, which, come to think of it, I'm surprised actually isn't fractured. You'll probably be in and out of consciousness for a little while here. It's too early to give you a solid date, you're better off asking again later when you've stabili-

Dr. Patra's heart rate sharply increases. She loses consciousness again.

End Log.