Item#: 7278

Level1

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
dark

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures
SCP-7278 is to be held within a low priority containment chamber within Site-120. A search for PoI-7278 is ongoing.

Description
SCP-7278 is an object which has become definitionally compromised. To clarify, it is impossible to accurately describe all of SCP-7278's properties and conceptual being within a single word or phrase, with attempts by the Department of Miscommunications only being able to reach the 70% threshold. It is for this reason that determining the true nature of SCP-7278 is extremely difficult and likely impossible.
Extensive testing of SCP-7278 has managed to determined that it has the following properties:

It is mechanical in nature;
Its volume is approximately 1.6 m3 and its weight is approximately 300 kg;
Its shape is that of a rectangular prism;
One of its sides has a keypad attached to it as well as a slot to insert money into;
It contains several low cost candies and snacks, such as chocolate bars and bags of potato chips;
It will dispense said candies once money has been placed into it and a code has been entered into the keypad, associated with the dispensed candy,

SCP-7278 gained its anomalous properties following a thaumaturgic ritual being performed upon it by an unknown Fae thaumaturgist (PoI-7278).
SCP-7278 was discovered on the streets of FP-120 ("Esterberg") on 2/27/2019. The object was given to the Foundation's safekeeping by the Esterberg government.

Incident 7278.01
SCP-7278 gained its anomalous properties on 2/26/2019 after the following incident.

Date: 2/26/2019
Subject: PoI-7278
Foreword: The following log was taken by an Esterberg security camera. Footage procured after the incident.

[BEGIN LOG]
PoI-7278 walks across the street, whistling slightly. They stop in front of SCP-7278.
PoI-7278 produces a 5 złoty coin from their pocket and places it within SCP-7278. After a pause, the SCP-7278 rejects the coin and PoI-7278 takes it back. They then attempt to place it back into SCP-7278. This repeats approximately twenty times, with PoI-7278 growing increasingly more exasperated.
PoI-7278 attempts to use a different 5 złoty coin and this time succeeds in having SCP-7278 accept the coin. PoI-7278 then types 52 on the keypad, corresponding to a Grześki chocolate bar.
SCP-7278 rejects PoI-7278's coin and its screen displays a "no designation found" error. PoI-7278 stares at SCP-7278 for approximately twenty seconds before beginning to bang on and shake SCP-7278. No change is noted within SCP-7278.
PoI-7278 then attempts to purchase the chocolate bar, dropping the coin and picking it up several times. Each time they attempt to type a number into the keypad, they are met with a "no designation found" error. This repeats for some time, each time being punctuated by PoI-7278 verbally and physically abusing SCP-7278.
PoI-7278 shakes their fist angrily and bangs on SCP-7278.
PoI-7278: Skurwysynu!1
PoI-7278 glows with Elan Vital Energy as they begin to attempt a thaumaturgic ritual.
PoI-7278: (in Polish) I'll show you no designation found…
The recording ends.

« SCP-7277 | SCP-7278 | SCP-7279 »

Footnotes
1. A Polish curse word.