SCP-7441: I fucking hate horses

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F.A.Q.

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ITEM NUMBER: SCP-7441
LEVEL 4/7441

CONTAINMENT CLASS: THAUMIEL
RESTRICTED

Standard method of enacting SCP-7441 [Redacted per Ethics Committee request]

Special Containment Procedures: Following recent discoveries regarding SCP-7441's perceived limits, on-site testing of SCP-7441 has been postponed indefinitely by Ethics Committee fiat. Further employment of SCP-7441 for use in unrelated research efforts has been limited to methods not covered under Ethics Committee Mandate #117 (regarding the mass exploitation of sentient anomalies), such as ethical euthanization.
Description: SCP-7441 is an anomalous method of enhancing measured intelligence through equine violence. While this increase is largely temporary, its effects have been found useful in dealing with accounting, scientific, security, and secretarial work by the Department of Productivity.
The exact ratio of harm to mental cognition is currently unknown, however it is believed to be proportional; the complexity and scale of violence a person engages in, the greater increase of cognition experienced, albeit with diminishing returns.
Addendum.7441.1: Included below is an extremely truncated record of SCP-7441 tests conducted by Head Researcher Lloyd Haverstrom. Haverstrom was chosen due to ver self-reported lack of empathy towards horses following the resignation of five researchers previously assigned to the project.

Subject: Assistant Researcher Byford
Stated Goal: Baseline test to determine the average increase of mental acuity.
Manner of Violence: Horse was punched in the ribs with moderate force.
Result: Attending medical personnel noted that Byford was quick to assess and diagnose the injuries he sustained following the horse's retaliation.

Subject: Financial Advisor Kerr
Stated Goal: Deal with the increased load of financial strain recently put on Foundation resources.
Manner of Violence: Ten horses were placed within a decommissioned public bus, which was sealed, outfitted with explosives, and remotely piloted into a canyon.
Result: Kerr was able to file the complete expense reports for both Foundation Site-66 and 53 within the hour, the latter of which being historically difficult to budget for given its focus on SCP-7441 testing.

Subject: Containment Associate Ulysses
Stated Goal: Outline the future containment efforts of Lunar Area-32.
Manner of Violence: Several horses were placed in a high-g centrifuge temporarily acquisitioned from the Department of Space Exploration, originally meant for testing the effects of extreme gravitational force on anomalous materials. Experiment lasted for approximately thirty minutes, as personnel wanted to ensure the total compaction of all equine present.
Result: Ulysses was reported to have finalized the containment reports for multiple Keter-class anomalies in the hours following the experiment, as well as drafting a lengthy report regarding the potential launch physics of SCP-6663. The Department of Space Exploration has politely declined offers to return the centrifuge despite multiple attempts at cleaning the interior.

Subject: Lead Theological Consultant Boyd
Stated Goal: Further advance personal religious studies and scientific research.
Manner of Violence: Fifty horses were placed in a sealed containment chamber which was filled with cryogenic fluid. Each of these horses was then individually removed and shattered via high-speed impact with a metal anvil. Due to Boyd's religious background, they were explicitly requested not to perform any funeral rites to prevent the horses from going to heaven.
Result: Boyd made significant progress on their report regarding the connection between insects and theological anomalies, although said progress was markedly less notable than previous experiments. Attempts to determine if the benefits of SCP-7441 have plateaued are underway. Registration by Boyd for on-site psychological counseling following testing has been deemed to be unrelated.

Subject: Head Researcher Haverstrom
Stated Goal: Determine a way of breaching SCP-7441's projected limit.
Manner of Violence: Approximately five-hundred horses were dropped by Haverstrom into a machine similar in construction to an oversized trash compactor, retrofitted to act as both a rock crusher and meat grinder by the Foundation Engineering Department.1 Duration of the experiment became much longer than anticipated, as the device required repeated maintenance due to the unforeseen rigidity of horse cadavers.
Result: Head Researcher Haverstrom has resigned from the SCP-7441 project.
Comments:

"This was a bad idea."

Footnotes
1. Requests by the department regarding the potential usage of the machine were denied.

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