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SCP-6945- The Ruler of the Kingdom Formerly Known as the Site-78 Break room
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>open_case SCP-6945

Bringing up relevant files

Site-78 Budgetary Meeting 12/06/22
Personnel Present:
Site-78 Department Head of Parabiological Sciences, Arms and Equipment, Maria Johnston
Site-78 Department Head of MAUDE, Gregory Chudley
Midwest Command Heads of Human Resources, John and Deborah Baxter

[Recording start]
John: Alright it is 0930 on Tuesday the… twelfth. All requested individuals have arrived for the meeting. State your names for the recording. John Baxter.
Deborah: Deborah Baxter.
Maria: Maria Johnston.
Gregory: Do we really need to do this? It's just a budgetary meeting.
John and Deborah: Yes.
Gregory: *sighs* Gregory Chudley.
Deborah: Now that the formalities have been taken care of, what did you want to discuss?
Researcher Chudley reaches down into a briefcase and pulls out a manilla folder.
Gregory: We are formally requesting a budget increase for future containment efforts for SCP-6945.
John and Deborah exchange looks.
John: Alright, what are your terms?
Researcher Johnston fingers open the manilla folder and pulls out a spreadsheet before clearing her throat.
Maria: We are asking for a 16% increase in funding towards our security detail for the room it's contained in. We also request an increase in cameras monitoring the room from to get a better coverage of the room's interior within the room to monitor everything the anomaly is doing, as well as staff to operate the cameras.
John: I suppose those terms are acceptable. Anything else?
Maria: Well, we were also hoping for-
Gregory: We need a Scranton Reality Anchor.
John: What do you mean you need a Scranton Reality Anchor? Every site has the budget for at least one. What happened to it?
Maria: We were never given the money. We were told when active containment operations at Site-78 began that we'd get a grant for them. Money never showed.
Deborah: Are you implying that Midwest Command never sent the funds? Don't be silly. Our department would never misplace a substantial sum of money.
Maria: Misplace? No. Reassign to somewhere you deem more important? That sounds more likely to me but were not here to argue about the past. If you just take a look at the document, you'd understand-
John and Deborah's mouths turn to a frown..
Deborah: We have. If you are formally requesting we read through the document alongside the authors in order to fully understand your reasoning, however, well…
She looks to John.
Deborah: I suppose we can allow that.
Maria: Wonderful! If you'll open up to the beginning of the document…

+ Open SCP-6945 File?

- Close

Item#: 6945

Level2

Containment Class:
euclid

Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}

Disruption Class:
vlam

Risk Class:
warning

link to memo

Assigned Site
Site Director
Research Head
Assigned Task Force

Site-78
Leah Richter
Maria Johnston
Omega-45 ("Street Samurai")

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6945 is currently contained within the break room of Site-78's Parabiological Sciences Department. All personnel must formally announce their intentions of entering the break room to SCP-6945. All site personnel must store their lunches and other snacks within the break room,
Personnel are allowed to converse with SCP-6945 and are allowed haggle to get lower prices on the food stored in the break room's fridge.
Until a method can be devised to put SCP-6945 in a proper containment cell, efforts must be made to convince SCP-6945 to remain within the break room and not attempt to “annex” other areas of Site-78 into its “domain”.
Description: SCP-6945 is a 1.37 meters tall bipedal humanoid. The proportion of its body resembles a human child, except its head is proportionally larger, and the ears are pointed. SCP-6945 resembles and self-identifies as a “Goblin”, commonly seen in fantasy literature. The entity calls itself “Scratneck the Terrible” and claims to be from another world, one that the Foundation has not documented. The anomaly has currently claimed the break room within Site-78's Parabiological Science department as the “Kingdom of Scratneck" and acts as if it is its ruler.
As “Ruler” of the break room, SCP-6945 imposes taxes on food, beverages, and snack items kept within it, as well as determining who may come and go. This has proven to be a nuisance to Site-78's staff who have suggested other methods of eating on their lunches. However, SCP-6945 has expressed that it will leave the break room to establish another kingdom with more compliant subjects if the room was to remain vacant.
Despite other alternatives such as storing food in personal office spaces or going off site for lunch, Site-78's personnel have acquiesced to the anomaly's demands in order to keep it contained within the breakroom until SCP-6945 can be brought under proper containment. Because the full extent of SCP-6945's anomalous abilities is currently unknown, it may be possible for it to cause either a broken veil scenario or an SK-Class Dominance Shift scenario if allowed to expand its "kingdom" outside Site-78.
SCP-6945's uncontainable nature stems from a collection of thaumaturgical objects within its possession. It is unknown how many are currently in the possession of SCP-6945 but at least a dozen have been seen in possession of the anomaly via camera footage. The current objects known to the Foundation are as follows.

Foundation Designation
SCP-6945's chosen name
Description

SCP-6945-A
The Staff of Dispel Person
A gnarled wooden staff. Appears to have the ability to relocate multiple people to nearby rooms. The targets must be visible to the user for -A to take effect.

SCP-6945-B
Cloak of Invulnerability
Appears to make SCP-6945 impervious to physical harm.

Discovery: It had been discovered shortly after the construction of Site-78 in 2012 that a region with a hume level of ten points below baseline was located approximately inside the Parabiological Sciences department. This discrepancy in hume level did not appear to have any ill effects on people within it and was therefore disregarded as another minor anomaly within Chugwater, Wyoming.
This would lead it to be the location of a breach in reality, occurring on 25-5-2022 at 11:37 as SCP-6945 appeared within the break room of Site-78's Parabiological Science department. Written below is a transcript of the break room's single security camera during the appearance of SCP-6945.

[Cryptozoology Researcher Reginald Whitlock enters the break room at 1135. He goes to the fridge, pulls out an “I Believe” labeled Bigfoot lunch box.]
[A swirling flame erupts from the corner of the break room, illuminating it in a deep red light.]
Reggie: What the shit?!
[A greenish-brown figure appears from the swirling flame, garbed in an oversized red cloak and a large wooden staff in its hand.]Reggie: What the- Who the- How the-SCP-6945 begins to laugh maniacally.
Reggie: Come on, in front of my salad?
[END LOG]

Following SCP-6945's appearance within our reality, Site Security arrived to apprehend it. The anomaly's refusal to comply led security officers to engage it with their firearms, which had no effect as their bullets merely bounced off of its cloak. The Entity then utilized SCP-6945-A to send all of the officers into the Site's Cafeteria.
The entity was classified as SCP-6945 and several further attempts by MTF forces to overwhelm the anomaly with sheer numbers ended in failure. It appeared that merely touching the anomaly caused SCP-6945-A to relocate the attacker, even if SCP-6945-A was no longer in the hands of its owner.
After several days of Foundation Staff refusing to pay SCP-6945 to retrieve their lunches, SCP-6945 spoke of expanding its kingdom to find people who would pay its taxes. In response, Site-78 Director Leah Richter drafted the current containment procedures to avoid a potential containment breach.

- Close

Maria: After this point, the anomaly took full control over the breakroom and turned our lives into a living hell.
Gregory: My Moth-Man lunch box has been trapped in there for almost two weeks now. I miss his little beady eyes every day.
John: Well, I see why you may be frustrated at that, but it doesn't really seem to me to need any major increases in any budgetary limits.
Gregory: You haven't seen the security logs from the day after.
John: Security logs? Plural?
Gregory: It was rough for everybody.
Deborah: Yes, well, I'm certain having a little ghoul in your break room-
Gregory: Goblin.
Deborah: Excuse me?
Gregory: It is a goblin. Ghouls are, y'know, like… ghoulish.
Deborah: Is that supposed to mean something to me or are you just saying words?
Gregory: Come on, you know. Ghouls are all… fleshy… and gray. Goblins are all green or brownish and scream a lot and-
Maria: Chudley, now is NOT the time.
Gregory: Come on, I can't just LET her challenge me on my goblin lore and trivia-
Maria: Greg. Just. Pull out the security logs.
Gregory: (mutters something under his breath, defeated)

[Begin Log]
[Resarcher Jerry Johanssen is seen within the breakroom speaking to SCP-6945.]Jerry: Calm down, little buddy. No need to get so heated.Jerry: Taxes? You think I work in Wyoming because I want to pay taxes?SCP-6945 grabs Researcher Johannsen by the arm, and his lab coat's sleeve transmutes into a brown liquid. Researcher Johannsen begins to cry out in pain as the brown liquid runs off his arm, scorching his epidermis. SCP-6945 laughs maniacally
[End Log]

Maria: See? This is exactly what we need it for! Who knows what kind of artifacts it might have underneath that cloak? Just because it hasn't harmed anyone YET, doesn't mean it won't! It literally declared itself as a reality bender.
John and Deborah whisper something to each other for a moment before turning back to Researchers Johnston and Chudley. John clears his throat.
John: Well, we see your… valid concerns around the situation. However…
Deborah: We had a situation with the Pataphysics department last month that unfortunately tied up our remaining free SRAs. Classified research, I'm sure you understand.
Gregory: Classified to two department heads? That's bullshit! You're just trying to trick us with bureaucratic malarkey to prevent our departments from getting the proper budgeting!
Maria: Chudley.
Gregory: How the hell do you expect us to get anything done if we can't even stay in the same room as the anomaly without risk of banishment? This is ridiculous!
Maria: Chudley! That's enough.
Researcher Johnston turns to John and Deborah.
Maria: We highly implore you to reconsider. Please.
Deborah: We're sorry. We need more to go off of than a egomaniacal boast. This is out of our range of options. Until circumstances worsen, all we can approve is increased security.
John: Meeting adjourned.
[END RECORDING]

+ (1) New Email Message. Open?

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To: ten.picS|retxaBnhoJ#ten.picS|retxaBnhoJ, ten.picS|retxaBharobeD#ten.picS|retxaBharobeD
From: ten.picS|XxXiarumasecitnerppaXxX#ten.picS|XxXiarumasecitnerppaXxX
CC: ten.picS|notgnildduhCeniamreJsucirogerG#ten.picS|notgnildduhCeniamreJsucirogerG
Subject: 6945 Complications

Good Afternoon,
Following multiple incidents regarding SCP-6945, Researcher Chudley and I would like to request a follow-up meeting in regard to the budget of the containment for SCP-6945. Attached below is an addendum to the documentation of SCP-6945. Please respond with a date of your earliest convenience.
Much regards,
Researcher Maria Johnston
Head of Parabiological Sciences, Arms and Equipment
Attachments (1)
SCP-6945 Addendum 1.txt

- Close

+ Open File Attachment?

- Close

Addendum 6945.01: SCP-6945 Extortion Attempt
On 23-6-2022, SCP-6945 demanded to speak with an emissary from “The Greater Lands of Skip” in regard to “concessions” for his Kingdom with the threat that he would expand his control past the break room. As head of Parabiological Sciences, Maria Johnston spoke with SCP-6945 in an attempt to defuse the situation.

[Begin Log]
Maria Johnston enters the Break room. SCP-6945 is sitting on a make shift throne of empty boxes, plates, and plasticware.
Maria: Hello, 6945. Lorri gave me your missive, what can I do for y-Maria: Y-yes, sire.Maria: Expand? There's no need for that. The lands of Chugwater are filled with scores of tiny creatures. Perhaps some rats will do?SCP-6945 pulls out a basketball-sized crystal orb from its cloak and begins staring into it, stroking its chin.
Maria: Do you… not know what a rat is?
SCP-6945 looks up at Researcher Johnston with an angry expression.Maria: Of course not. If the rats are to enter your borders, you are free to have them.
SCP-6945 looks back down upon the crystal orb.Maria: Is there anything you can offer us in return? This relationship can't be just give and no take, sire.Maria: While I'm sure our hunters would enjoy that, we are all good on food. Perhaps you could tell me about what other magic items you've brought from your land?Maria: I'm just trying to ensure a good trade relationship between our kingdoms. Duchess Richter feels that you are in a sense… squatting.SCP-6945 raises its staff and light emanates from it. When the light vanishes, Researcher Johnston is no longer in the room.
[End Log]

- Close

Site-78 Budgetary Meeting #2 12/07/22
Personnel Present:
Site-78 Department Head of Parabiological Sciences, Arms and Equipment, Maria Johnston
Site-78 Department Head of MAUDE, Gregory Chudley
Midwest Command Heads of Human Resources, John and Deborah Baxter

[Begin Log]
John: Johnston, Chudley, it is good to see you both agai- Johnston, what is that all over you?
Maria: Oh, this?
Johnston raises her arms up, she appears to be covered in soot.
Maria: This is from the 12th siege of Hallway 6B. I got too close to one of my bouncing ball grenades. Had to send that little bastard flying back into the breakroom because SOMEONE wouldn't allow us to have an SRA.
Deborah: You detonated SCP-6952 based explosives on site? Johnston, that is a violation of-
Maria: I don't want to hear it. Richter has authorized my department to use every method at our disposal to contain SCP-6945. We're at war now.
John: I beg your pardon?
Gregory: At the beginning of the month, he sent a scroll with a declaration of war. Now he's been launching consistent attacks to annex Hallway 6B. Johnston and the Street Samurai just barely managed to keep him from taking it 30 minutes ago.
John: Well it sounds like you all have everything under control. I assume this is to request an order for an SRA?
Gregory: Yes, please. That hallway leads to my department and the last thing I need is a Goblin with delusions of grandeur putting on the world's unluckiest pair of jorts.
Deborah: That would be quite unfortunate, Chudley, but our hands our tied. We just sent the last of the extra funds for your site a few weeks ago for a plasma weaponry project.
Chudley looks over at Johnston.
Maria: …Yes. You did. And those weapons were useless against -6945's reality warping.
Deborah: Now you can see why we don't have any funds to spare for an SRA, perhaps you should have thought about your current issues rather than yet another weapons project.
Gregory: God, this is such horeseshit.
Maria: Wait, Chudley, can you pull out Addendum 02 for me, please?
Gregory: Yeah, sure.

Addendum 6945.02: Updated list of SCP-6945-X instances + Damage Reports

Foundation Designation
SCP-6945's chosen name
Description

SCP-6945-C
“Ring of Lock Doors”
A small, golden ring, inlaid with gemstones. Has the anomalous property of locking any door that leads into the room that SCP-6945 is in.

SCP-6945-D
“Force Crossbow of Exhaustion”
A wooden hand crossbow that does not require bolts. When fired, an arrow manifests and is released. Does not physically harm the target in any way. However, it does instantly expel all air from their lungs forcefully.

SCP-6945-E
“Glove of Transformation"
A glove made of black and red silks. SCP-6945 claims that it can transmute matter into any form that it chooses but has thus far only been known to transform matter into gravy.

As of 12/7/22, the “war” between SCP-6945 and Site-78 has injured several personnel and has cost an estimated 90 to 95 thousand dollars. A list of these expenses are included below. No monetary amount has been provided as they are still being tallied and added to the previous estimation.

Medical Bills

Agent Michaela Avalerra of MTF-Omega 45 experienced extreme anaphylactic shock when teleported face-first into a garlic souffle.
Nine Security officers received second-degree burns from their weapons being converted into gravy.
Sixteen researchers had to undergo asthma breathing treatments due to contact with SCP-6945-D.

Cleaning

Between the 1st and 6th sieges, approximately sixty gallons of gravy were generated from sudden transmutation.
“The Gravy Flood of the Sixth Siege” flooded the Department of MAUDE1 which is still being power washed.
Repairs to walls and ducts from the detonation of explosives.

Equipment replacement

Six hundred gauss rounds, twelve bouncing ball grenades, thirteen Adamantite blades.
An unknown amount of Mundane and Uneventful paperwork.
An estimated 27 Mundane Artifacts have been permanently stained brown due to prolonged exposure to gravy.

John and Deborah pull their eyes up from the document.
John: Ninety…. THOUSAND?
Deborah: WHY WEREN'T WE INFORMED OF THIS?
Maria: We've been trying to reach you for weeks. If you would have just picked up the phone and scheduled this meeting earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess.
Chudley: And if you would have given us the approval for an SRA in the FIRST meeting, we wouldn't have had to go this far over budget to begin with!
John: We may have erred, yes. But you have to understand that Midwest Command has its priorities. You've gotten by in the past with little to no resources and now Site-78 has over twenty anomalies within its care.
John pauses.
John: You have to understand, fifteen thousand dollars for an SRA is a lot of money to grant a site of your size.
Gregory: And ninety thousand dollars isn't? How much money in damages does our facility have to go through before you approve a fifteen thousand dollar budgetary increase for a single SRA? A million dollars? Two? Five? And what if we start having actual casualties? How many HR meetings with injured foundation staff due to YOUR negligence of funding? How many-
John: WE GET IT.
Gregory: And?
John: We, uh…
Deborah: We'll approve the budget increase for an SRA. Some money will need to be shuffled around but we will make it work. Meeting adjourned.

Attention: A new addition to the SCP-6945 file has just been uploaded to the database. Display file?

/display

Addendum 6945.03: Capture
On 15/7/22, one Scranton Reality Anchor arrived at Site-78 which was placed inside of the Parabiological Science Department and turned on. Agents of MTF-Omega 45 were sent in the breakroom to apprehend SCP-6945. The anomaly found that its items were no longer effective, allowing for the capture and containment of the anomaly inside of a standard containment cell.
The following interview was performed by Researcher Maria Johnston following capture.

[Begin Log]
[SCP-6945 is seated in front of Researcher Johnston. A large welt can be seen on top of its bald green head.]
Maria: How are you feeling, SCP-6945? I hope you're adjusting to ruling your very own cell in our dungeon.
Johnston appears to hold back a snicker.Maria: It was never your kingdom! It was the place where I had my lunch. You made me pay twenty bucks for my Mountain Dew Kickstart and now I'm getting my fucking refund.Maria: That's what they all say. Now, if you wouldn't mind. I have some questions for you and there's no weaseling out of these. Got it?Maria: You were subjugated in your previous realm? Could you elaborate on that? What was this place called?Johnston reaches into a container by her side and pulls a cooked rat from it. She tosses it on the ground in front of SCP-6945.
Maria: Not even for fresh meat? There's more where that came from if you answer my Duchess's questions.SCP-6945 picks up the rat and consumes it before speaking.Maria: But how did you get here?Maria: I see. But why not take pity on us as subjects? It seems to me that you were acting as cruel as your former master. Most of us can only afford to pay for that food once, y'know.Maria: Our world is a little bit different than yours. Workers have the right to 30-minute break for lunch. Something you decided to make harder for us.SCP-6945 is quiet for a moment.Maria: I promise we won't treat you as badly as your previous boss. You'll have to be kept within this cell, we'll make sure you have food and water. No greens right?Johnston remains silent for a moment.
Maria: …Yes. It's the cell for SCP-6945, the most dangerous anomaly in our little kingdom. In fact, the whole world could end if he ever got out.
SCP-6945 stares into his crystal orb, implanted within the table.Maria: Well what is a containment cell other than a room to take a break from a world that might reject you? In that way, it's similar to your previous kingdom.Maria: Well, you've answered what questions I have. I'll communicate to the Duchess about your treaty.Maria: Alright. Just no more gravy.

Footnotes
1. Mundane Artifacts and Uneventful Data Evaluation

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