Item#: 6567

Level1

Containment Class:
safe

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
dark

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6567 has, of late, been permitted to freely traverse the facility1 granted it does not excessively disturb personnel, intervene with daily engagements, attempt to enter restricted areas, or attempt to exit the facility. A GPS-fitted ankle tag has been situated onto
SCP-6567 in order to more easily monitor its activity and whereabouts.
In the event that the entity violates one of the above conditions, SCP-6567 is to be kept in an 81 cm x 81 cm x 53 cm standard wooden pigeon coop, accommodated with rather exotic avian enrichment such as a ceiling posted miniature punching bag, as well as numerous leisurely devices including a beanbag chair, mirror, and bird feeder. The enclosure should be cleaned at least once a week, to remove any excrement or debris.
Description: SCP-6567 is an adult male Lombardy Italy Florentine Pigeon, roughly 39cm in length and 34cm in height. Despite lacking the proper bodily structures for human speech, SCP-6567 is a proficient speaker of both the English and Italian languages. SCP-6567 refers to itself as
"Eduardo Uccello," a self proclaimed, former Italian-American mafia underboss. Despite inhibiting the entity's ability to fly, the entity always adorns a pigeon tailored Armani blue-gray striped suit and tie as well as a dark gray fedora while outside of its enclosure. When asked how it acquired such apparel, SCP-6567 explained that it was, "A gift from some of my subordinates."
Addendum.6567.I: Discovery

Foreword: On 9/18/06 Agent Aliya Skala responded to reports of a formally dressed black and white bird catcalling pedestrians.

<Begin Log> 11:32 AM

[Agent Aliya attempts to unsuspectingly walk past the entity.]
[SCP-6567 whistles at the agent.][Agent Aliya, alarmed, attempts to continue walking past the entity.][Agent Aliya double takes, and begins walking towards the suspect.]
[SCP-6567 chuckles.]SCP-6567: …You bitc—
[SCP-6567 is immediately encased in bird capture netting.][SCP-6567 exclaims, while erratically flapping its wings.]
[Agent Aliya smirks as she carries off SCP-6567.][SCP-6567 squawks desperately.]

<End Log> 11:39 AM

Afterward:
Following SCP-6567's reprehension, those associated with the incident, or had witnessed the entity and its anomalous properties were administered Class B amnestics.

Addendum.6567.II: Foundation Inclusion / Interview I

Foreword: The following is an interview between SCP-6567 and Dr. Verlice regarding the anomaly's origins.

<Begin Log> 5:04 AM

[Dr. Verlice enters.]
[SCP-6567 is napping reservedly while tethered to the countertop.]
Dr. Verlice: Hello there.
[SCP-6567 jolts awake, staring at the interviewer.]
Dr.Verlice: Don't be alarmed, I'm only here to ask some questions.
[SCP-6567 looks away in distaste.]
Dr. Verlice: Well this was to be expected, I'll be staying until you're ready to talk.
[A short time passes before the entity begins to comply.]Dr. Verlice: Glad you don't waste time. Who we are is not of your concern right now. I'm only here to get to know you better.Dr. Verlice: Eduardo Ucello? New name for me.
[SCP-6567 snickers.][Dr. Verlice shakes his head.]Dr. Verlice: What is it that makes you so infamous?[SCP-6567 says reminiscently.]Dr. Verlice: Coming from a bird, that's somewhat hard to believe. What would someone of such importance be doing harassing bystanders?Dr. Verlice: Was there some kind of incentive for your leave?Dr. Verlice: Neat story, and your father? He could speak?
<End Log> 5:23 AM

Addendum.6567.III: Interview II

Foreword: The following is an interview between SCP-6567 and Dr. Verlice regarding the anomaly's past relations prior to containment.

<Begin Log> 9:32 PM

[Dr. Verlice enters to find SCP-6567 comfortably reclining on its beanbag chair.]
Dr. Verlice: Good afternoon Eduardo.
[SCP-6567's eyes slowly open.]Dr. Verlice: Sorry but this is the only time I have that I can interview you without interruption.Dr. Verlice: I was hoping we could gather some information regarding some "relationships" of yours.abo—
Dr. Verlice: About your family Eduardo, I remember you mentioning your father?[SCP-6567 seems mildly puzzled.]Dr. Verlice: what, like migration?Dr. Verlice: Little cousins? How many of them were there?[SCP-6567 looks upwards as if recalling a fond memory.]Dr. Verlice: That past tense is pretty foreboding Eduardo. I assume this character has passed?Dr. Verlice: I'm sorry for your loss, yet, he taught you "everything" you know. Does this include how to speak?
[Dr. Verlice says tersely. SCP-6567 sighs.]
<End Log> 9:55 PM

Afterward: SCP-6567 was most likely imported to the United States to be sold or bred at auction. Due to SCP-6567 omitting mention of possible offspring, we have come to the conclusion that this was in some way interrupted, but the reason for this remains unknown.

The culmination of SCP-6567's past life, boastful nature, and outgoing personality make the entity very likable among staff members. Provided supervision, SCP-6567 has been permitted to speak with off duty Class-D personnel.
Addendum.6567.IV: Class-D Verbal Exchange

Foreword: Below is an excerpt from an exchange between D-93629 and SCP-6567 regarding a physical altercation between D-93629 and another Class-D personnel.

<Begin Log> 3:14 PM

[D-93629 enters.][D-93629's eyes widen.]
D-93629: You've got to be kidding me!
[D-93629 laughs hysterically.]
D-93629: This little… Little, sky rat. This little thing is the super dangerous criminal?[The room goes quiet.]
D-93629: What.[D-93629 stares blankly at the entity for a couple moments.]
D-93629: Ok?
[No words were exchanged for a short period.][D-93629 snorts.][D-93629's face contracts angrily.]
D-93629: Listen here yo—D-93629: Please… This place is just filled with a bunch of harmless wannabe tough guys like you, my freedom's gonna be a cake walk.[D-93629 gives a stifled laugh which was reciprocated by SCP-6567.][D-93629 remains silent.][D-93629 seems to contemplate something intently.][SCP-6567 says sarcastically.]
Closest thing I had to a brother back in the day. Haven't told anyone about this yet, I know if I bring 'em up he'll be brought here and those snobby eccentric bastards out there will ask him questions, and ain't nobody got the time for that. I think I'll make an exception for you though. He was better off than me, even got himself a beautiful gal, must have been a nightmare to manage in our line of work. She was basically all he ever talked about. I never minded when conversations got repetitive, I liked seein 'em happy, but I'll never forget the day he came up to me, and told me his girl was pregnant. He wasn't nearly as excited as me though, he broke the news almost solemnly. Unbeknownst to me, that was the same day he was going dark, completely cut ties with everyone understandably. After all, who would wanna raise a kid at the same time you're layin 'em out hehe. To this day I don't know why… Why I cared so much. I loved the power more than anything, and I was so close to reaching the top. But I gave it all away, worked on turning my life around completely, all in hopes that I'd be able to see Vinnie, just one more damn time.
[D-93629's eyes swell with tears.][D-93629 gives a wide smile.]
D-93629: Don't worry about it, you just remind me of a good friend too.

<End Log> 3:25 PM

Afterward: Despite knowledge of what happens to Class-D personnel while they are in custody, SCP-6567 always discourages negative behavior in hopes that reformed staff could continue living a moral, meaningful life. Discussions between
Class-D personnel and SCP-6567, although futile, seem to have a positive impact on staff morale and compliance.

+ Archived Addendum.6567.V

- Archived Addendum.6567.V

Addendum.6567.V: Affiliate Interview

Foreword: The suspected "Vinnie Bianchi" was sedated, and brought into foundation custody after his mention during an interview involving SCP-6567. The following is an interview between Dr. Verlice and Vinnie Bianchi prior to amnestic administration.

<Begin Log> 4:15 AM

Vinnie: Wh… What is this?
Dr. Verlice: Good morning Mr. Bianchi, I'm here to ask you some questions regarding a past acquaintance of yours.
Vinnie: I don't understand… What's going on?
Dr. Verlice: Does the name, "Eduardo Ucello" sound familiar to you?
Vinnie: Eddie… No. No, I can't be back here!
[Vinnie begins to panic and struggles to free himself of his restraints.]
Dr. Verlice: Mr. Bianchi you need to remain calm, this is a scientific facility. We only want to ask you a few questions regarding Eduardo's unusual properties, and we can release you unharmed.
[Vinnie attempts to stabilize his breathing.]
Vinnie: There ain't nothin unusual about Eddie?
[Dr. Verlice seems concerned.]
Dr. Verlice: Mr. Bianchi, Eduardo is capable of speaking multiple human languages?
Vinnie: So?
Dr. Verlice: He's a pigeon…
Vinnie: And? I thought I read somewhere that some birds could talk.
[Dr. Verlice stares concernedly at Vinnie.]
Dr. Verlice: Ok, well… Do you remember when Eduardo was first capable of human speech?
Vinnie: Yup, since the first day I saw him, whole reason I bought 'em actually.
Dr. Verlice: You were responsible for purchasing Eduardo? As such, do you know how Eduardo reached such high status within the mafia, despite certain uhm… Avian features of his?
Vinnie: Of course. I put him there, little man was like a brother to me, why wouldn't I make him my second in command.
Dr. Verlice: But Eduardo was an underboss. Making you a crime lord?
Vinnie: That is correct mister, yes. This isn't being recorded is it?
Dr. Verlice: Fascinating. Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Bianchi.
Vinnie: Wait… Please. Is Eddie doin alright?

<End Log> 4:30 AM

Footnotes
1. Although the entity does have a curfew from between 9:30 PM - 8:00 AM.
2. Get this shit off me woman!

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