Item#: 5769

Level3

Containment Class:
euclid

Secondary Class:
none

Disruption Class:
keneq

Risk Class:
notice

link to memo

SCP-5769 prior to containment

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5769 is to be kept in a containment cell furnished with a bed, a lamp, and a desk at Site-66. SCP-5769 is allowed requested items within reason. Allowed items include a human bed and any piece of non-anomalous literature which is requested by the subject (currently a copy of Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace), as well as several dog toys to ensure adequate mental and physical stimulation.
Any Foundation personnel with Level 2 security clearance or above is permitted to play with SCP-5769 in order to promote morale, both in staff and the anomaly. SCP-5769 is allowed one hour of outside time accompanied by two lightly armed guards once every two days. These guards are permitted to use non-lethal force in the event of any attempted escape.
Description: SCP-5769 is a domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) of the Golden Retriever breed which is capable of vocal communications in several languages. SCP-5769 appears to vocally communicate in the same manner as humans, with the subject's larynx being the source of the anomalous vocalizations. SCP-5769 displays similar behaviors to those of a typical Golden Retriever, including a desire for a somewhat active lifestyle, similar eating habits, and an affinity for red meat, although the subject also displays the desire to interface with art, similarly to humans, and requires increased mental stimulation which must be satiated through reading or conversation.
SCP-5769 claims to know everything, both in the past and in the present. When asked a question, SCP-5769 will respond with the answer it believes to be correct, almost never deliberately lying or otherwise obfuscating the truth. SCP-5769 will almost invariably respond to any question it is asked. The areas of the subject's knowledge seem to extend to global, academic, and semantic matters, with the object having to learn matters of personal concern through conversation or other communication. For instance, SCP-5769 has been shown to have a comprehensive knowledge of events throughout all known and documented human history but still has to be introduced to an individual in order to learn their name or interface with them in order to learn their thoughts or feelings.
SCP-5769 has shown a strong desire to return to its previous owner, Samuel Lane, and has attempted to escape Foundation custody on multiple occasions in order to return to Lane.
Recovery: SCP-5769 was discovered in the house of Samuel Lane in Seattle, Washington, after neighbors reported repeated shouting to the local police on July 8, 2004. Upon entry, police found the residence empty aside from SCP-5769, which shortly introduced itself as Winston Lane. After SCP-5769 was taken to the nearest police station, an MTF unit embedded in local law enforcement reported the anomaly, and the Foundation retrieved SCP-5769, administering Class-A amnestics to all neighbors and officers who learned of the anomaly's existence. Samuel Lane was later located in a rural town in Nevada. He claims to have done this to distance himself from the anomaly, in hopes to completely avoid SCP-5769 itself, as well as any other anomalous effects related to the object. Upon initial recovery, the Foundation made the decision to interview SCP-5769 in order to gain more information on the subject's origin as well as its self purported knowledge.
Addendum 5769-1: First Interview
Purpose: A preliminary interview in order to familiarize SCP-5769 with an interview setting.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141 due to the subject's initial unwillingness to interface with Foundation staff due to the manner of its containment.

Start of interview: July 18, 2004, 2:14 PM
D-29141: So, uh, what do I say?
Dr. Gonsalves: Once you enter the room, just ask the subject the questions on this sheet of paper. Don't overthink it too much. I can assure you this is all very routine. I'll communicate any pertinent information over the room's microphone system from here.
D-29141: Alright, I'll take your word on it, I guess.
D-29141 enters the containment cell.
D-29141: A dog? Weird-ass place. Uh, what is your name?D-29141: What the fuck? I don't know what I expected. Fuckin' dog, bullshit routine.
Dr. Gonsalves: Please continue with the interview.
D-29141: Okay, fine, I guess. Whatever gets me out of here. My name is Evan; thanks for asking. So, um, what's two plus two?D-29141: Alright, dog does math. Uh, what else do you know?D-29141: Could you elaborate on that?D-29141: That's- alright, whatever. Are you okay with your containment?D-29141: I think I know how you feel. I haven't been able to see my family since these guys scooped me up either.
Dr. Gonsalves: I would highly advise you to stick to the provided interview questions.
D-29141: Right, right. How did you gain your intelligence?
SCP-5769 stops wagging its tail and appears to cast its eyes toward the floor.D-29141: Hey, I-
Dr. Gonsalves: Thank you, D-29141. That will be all. You can leave the cell.
End of interview: July 18, 2004, 2:17 PM

Addendum 5769-2: Second Interview
Purpose: An interview to build trust between the subject and D-29141 in order to discover SCP-5769's origins during the location process of Samuel Lane.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.

Start of interview: July 19, 2004, 10:31 AM
D-29141: So, you wanted me back here?
Dr. Gonsalves: Yes, we figured you didn't have much else to do. It's the same deal as yesterday. Get to work.
D-29141: Alright, fine. I guess it could be worse. Hello, how are you today?
SCP-5769 faces away from D-29141 and lies down, saying nothing.
D-29141: Hey, what's the problem, man? I thought we were getting along pretty well.D-29141: Look, man, I'm sorry if I made you upset, but it's not really my fault. That doctor guy wrote these questions, not me.
SCP-5769 appears to weigh its options for about ten seconds, then stands and turns to D-29141.D-29141: How about we talk about other stuff for a while? Does that work for you? Doc?
Dr. Gonsalves: That's fine. It's the only deal we can take right now. Now, get to the questions.
D-29141: Great. Now, how are you today?D-29141: Was?D-29141: I've been there. Um, do you want to escape at all?D-29141 and SCP-5769 were allowed to communicate in a freeform fashion as a trust building exercise for roughly 15 minutes before Dr. Gonsalves ordered the continuation of the interview proper.
D-29141: Okay, um. Huh. I don't really get this next question.
Dr. Gonsalves: Just try to the best of your ability.
D-29141: Uh, what is your stance on the containment of anomalies by the SCP Foundation?Dr. Gonsalves: Okay, the rest of the interview is canceled. SCP-5769 should not have this much knowledge on the Foundation. D-29141, exit the cell immediately.
D-29141: God damn it. Am I ever gonna get all the way through one of these before you cut me off for some bullshit reason I don't even understand? Whatever, see ya later, man.End of interview: July 19, 2004, 10:55 AM

SCP-5769's knowledge on the inner workings of the Foundation is currently being looked into and assessed as a potential threat.
Addendum 5769-3: Third Interview
Purpose: A general wellness check for SCP-5769.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.

Start of interview, July 21, 2004, 8:18 PM
D-29141: Hey. I'm back.D-29141: I've missed you, too, bud. I've got a new batch of questions. Are you ready?D-29141: Good. Hm, uh… Est-ce que vous parlez français?1D-29141: Uh…
Dr. Gonsalves: Just keep going.
D-29141: How old are you?D-29141: How much do you weigh? Uh, specifically, in metric.D-29141: It looks like this is the last one. Do you have any anomalous properties that the Foundation does not know about?D-29141: That was a pretty boring interview, but I guess we finally got to finish one. Hey, I've sorta got some of my own questions, if that's alright.
Dr. Gonsalves: That is not what I would advise. It is not in your best interest to get too terribly friendly with anomalies.
D-29141: Come on, man. It's a dog. A dog with a tragic backstory. You can't tell me you're not interested in that.
Dr. Gonsalves: I understand the root of your interest, but I really do have to stress how little we know about this thing. It could be far more dangerous than we know. Besides, you asked all the questions we made for you. It's best for you to leave.Dr. Gonsalves: I'm sorry, who's the doctor, and who's the dog?D-29141: Damn, you got him good.
Dr. Gonsalves: Leave the cell.
End of interview: July 21, 2004, 8:25 PM

SCP-5769's claim cannot yet be proven, due to the fact that, at the time of writing, SCP-5769 has been alive for a typical amount of time for a Golden Retriever.
Addendum 5769-4: Fourth Interview
Purpose: A test of SCP-5769's supposed omniscience.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.

Start of interview, July 22, 2004, 11:56 AM
D-29141: Okay, Winston. I have more questions today, but I don't really get them. As usual, I guess.
Dr. Gonsalves: It does not matter if you don't understand them. So long as we get an answer, everything is fine. Please continue.D-29141: Alright, uh. Awesome. At what time does the President of the United States of America scratch their nose?Dr. Gonsalves: Incredible…
D-29141: Um, shit, seriously? Is Bigfoot real?D-29141: Who are Marshall, Carter, and Dark?D-29141: Really? I guess if this stuff exists that makes sense. What is the uh… the O5 Council?Dr. Gonsalves: Oh my God…
D-29141: You plan on telling me what the hell that's supposed to mean?
Dr. Gonsalves: Exit the cell. Looks like neither of us are going to be remembering this interview.
End of interview: July 22, 2004, 12:10 PM

After this interview, the log was immediately redacted and Class A amnestics were to D-29141 and Dr. Gonsalves. SCP-5769 has been determined to have knowledge of the SCP Foundation, the anomalies contained by it, and the O5 Council. Cause for concern has been raised about SCP-5769 and its potential to bring awareness to some closely kept Foundation secrets.
Addendum 5769-5: Fifth Interview
Purpose: A check of SCP-5769's mental health in containment.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.

Start of interview: July 23, 2004, 12:38 PM
D-29141: Are you ready?D-29141: Perfect. Have you recently tried to escape?D-29141: Maybe so, man. That'd be kinda sad though. I probably wouldn't be able to see you anymore. What have you been doing with your free time?D-29141: Do you like the doctors here?D-29141: Yeah, tell me about it. I don't like 'em too much either. I understand where you're coming from.
Dr. Gonsalves: Keep in mind I am listening.
D-29141: Hey, you wrote the question.D-29141: Uh, sure.D-29141: Oh, jeez. Uh, I don't know that much about any of them. I guess I know you, but that's sort of it. They aren't sending me around in too many directions. They had me mop up some goop once, but other than that, I've just been with you. I mean, I like you. You're cool and all, but I've heard some real horror stories. Interviewing a dog is pretty nice compared to what I've heard about some other real dangerous shit. So, I can't speak for everyone, but you're cool. You've actually been a source of light for me here.
SCP-5769 begins wagging its tail.D-29141: Do you feel ready to discuss the origins of your intelligence?Dr. Gonsalves: That will be all, D-29141. Please exit the cell.
End of interview: July 23, 2004, 12:44 PM

Addendum 5769-6: Sixth Interview
Purpose: An interview to determine the origin's of SCP-5769's intelligence.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.

Start of interview: July 25, 2004, 3:22 PM
D-29141: So this is the big moment, huh? They only gave me one question this time. How did you become so intelligent?To tell you this, I'm going to go back to the beginning. I was born on April 14, 1999. I belonged to a breeder who sold purebred dogs. I was originally bought by a rich man who thought of me as a status symbol, but he didn't really like me or take care of me well. He thought I was too wild. He threw me to the streets, where I stayed for a while.
It was tough. Seattle isn't known for its cheerful weather. I ate trash all day until someone found me. It was Samuel Lane, my owner. He brought me to his house. Once we were inside, he gave me a bath and finally fed me some real food. And I'm not talking about dog food. He gave me real carrots and ground beef. That's better than what the rich guy fed me.
He picked me up, looked me in the eyes, and called me Winston. I knew that that was my name. We played all the time. He walked me when it wasn't raining. He bought me toys. We watched TV together sometimes. But he never brought anybody else home. He was a lonely man, but I still don't see why. He's the nicest person in the entire world.
On July 1 of this year, he got sick of being lonely. I was his only friend, and he wanted to be real friends. He brought home this book that was bound in leather. It didn't look to be in good condition. In fact, it looked ancient. There were no letters or markings on it. It was thick, too. There were a lot of pages. Sam said he was going to change our lives before he got out bags full of different things. I saw chalk, salt, hay, and a big thing of water. There was also a lot of almonds and heather, which are apparently used in witchcraft for wisdom and longevity. He drew a chalk circle around me and covered it with the salt. He sprinkled the hay all over me, and it got in the circle. I don't think it was supposed to do that. Something in me says so. Of course, I had no clue what was happening at the time, and I just sat there because I thought it was a game.
He put the heather and the almonds into the water, which was now in a large glass goblet of some sort. He put a sewing needle to my forehead to get one drop of blood, which he also put into the goblet. Then, he threw a lit match into the mixture, which was extinguished the moment it touched the water. To my surprise, the mixture ignited three seconds later. When the flame stopped, the mixture now looked like one, homogeneous liquid. Sam put it to my mouth, and I drank all of it. He started chanting in a language I'm almost positive does not exist. I remember him saying the names of the knowledge gods Thoth3 and Fukurokuju4.
Next thing I knew, I… well, I knew. I could think. I was suddenly smart. I talked to Sam, and he hugged me. I knew we were going to be even better friends now. I kept talking to him, and I noticed he looked a little sad. I wasn't quite sure why. He did the ritual to make us even better friends. We had been having long conversations. I told him all about ancient philosophies and mental health. Looking back on it now, I guess I can see why he was bothered. I was basically analyzing him all the time. I was pointing out signs of depression and anxiety because I wanted him to take better care of himself. I was even trying to educate him on stuff that Plato said about the human condition.
When I asked him what was wrong, he said I was too smart. He went out with the book and came back without it. Throughout the next five days, he constantly yelled at me. Called me a freak. Said he didn't need my help being happy. Said I was all wrong. That he corrupted the only thing that loved him. I don't know why. I still love him. I really do. I want to see him again, so I must, right? And he loves me. I know he does He was just a little mad, that's all. If these guys let me go back now, we'll be best friends again. Anyway, he left on July 8 with his car. When he didn't come back that night, I started shouting to try and get someone's attention, to make sure he was alright. That's when the police showed up.
D-29141: Holy shit… I'm… I'm so sorry…
Dr. Gonsalves: Thank you, D-29141. You may exit the cell.
End of interview: July 25, 2004, 3:42 PM

Addendum 5769-7: Interview with Samuel Lane
Purpose: An interview to determine Samuel Lane's knowledge of SCP-5769 before administering amnestics.
Personnel: Interview conducted by Researcher James.

Start of interview: July 31, 2004, 5:01 PM
Researcher James: Hi, Mr. Lane. I'm here to ask you a few questions about your dog.
Samuel Lane: Fine. Go ahead.
Researcher James: Is the dog who calls himself “Winston Lane” your dog?
Samuel Lane: He certainly was. Before I fuckin' freak-ified the thing.
Researcher James: So, does this mean it is true that you performed some sort of ritual to increase the object's intelligence?
Samuel Lane: The object? Well, yeah, and I fucked it up. Something about the hay or the almonds, used too much. Got all fucked. Now, he knows everything in the goddamn world.
Researcher James: Where is the book you found this ritual in currently?
Samuel Lane: Incinerator, hopefully. I tried to destroy it myself, but I wasn't having any luck with that. I hoped my tax dollars could at least get it to a landfill, even if it doesn't end up burning.
Researcher James: Where did you find this book?
Samuel Lane: Some guy on the street gave it to me. Said I looked lonely. Handed me that book with a bookmark on the page pertaining to my situation.
Researcher James: Can you describe this man?
Samuel Lane: Yeah, sure. Pale guy, but, like, creepy white, whiter than the whitest guy you've ever seen. Tall, maybe 6 foot 4 or something near there. Couldn't really see his eyes. Come to think of it, they sorta… I guess they must've been covered by something, but I can't remember. He looked like he might've been a drug dealer, but some fancy one. I mean, the guy was wearing a suit and a hat in the alley, out in the rain.
Researcher James: I see. Do you feel any affection for your dog?
Samuel Lane: What? Jesus, fuck no. That thing was such a cute dog, and then it started trying to talk about the nature of the human condition, telling me I look sad, wanting to watch the fuckin' five o'clock news. Total nuisance.
Researcher James: Well, thank you for your time.
End of interview: July 31, 2004, 5:10 PM

Samuel Lane was administered Class-C amnestics after the interview to erase all memories of SCP-5769. Investigations continue into both the identity of the man who gave Samuel Lane the anomalous book and the precise nature of the book itself. Currently, MTF Kappa-21 (“Dog Days of Bummer”) are working to locate the book and its original owner.
Addendum 5769-8: Seventh Interview
Purpose: An interview to inform SCP-5769 on Samuel Lane.
Personnel: Interview monitored by Dr. Gonsalves in a separate room. Conducted by D-29141.

Start of interview: August 1, 2004, 9:03 PM
Dr. Gonsalves: D-29141, this is not going to be a traditional interview. You are going to be telling SCP-5769 about what happened yesterday. Small talk is fine, just don't completely derail this.
D-29141: Do I have to do this?
Dr. Gonsalves: No. Feel free to just leave the cell. In fact, while you're at it, why don't we get you a day trip to the official Foundation spa? It really is wonderful this time of year, and the catering is just sublime.
D-29141: Fuck, fine. No need to be an ass about it.
D-29141 turns to face SCP-5769.
D-29141: Hey, Winston.D-29141: Hey, buddy. Do you promise to still be my friend?D-29141: They found your owner.
SCP-5769 becomes very excited. It wags its tail and runs around for a few seconds while barking before coming back to the front of D-29141.Dr. Gonsalves: Play the recording.
D-29141 reluctantly presses play on a tape recorder.
Recording of Researcher James: I see. Do you feel any affection for your dog?
Recording of Samuel Lane: What? Jesus, fuck no. That thing was such a cute dog, and then it started trying to talk about the nature of the human condition, telling me I look sad, wanting to watch the fuckin' five o'clock news. Total nuisance.
SCP-5769 stops wagging its tail and grows dejected.
D-29141: Look, buddy, I'm so, so sorry.SCP-5769 forces a laugh before crying.
Dr. Gonsalves: If it's any consolation, Samuel Lane no longer has any memories of you.
D-29141: Jesus Christ. Fuck off, man. Have you ever consoled anyone in your life?D-29141: I'm so, so sorry. I wish it went differently. But that guy, you were too good for him. You're a really good friend, buddy, and a really good dog.
Dr. Gonsalves: That will be all, D-29141. Exit the cell.
D-29141 begins to leave.D-29141: Of course.
D-29141 returns to his previous place and wraps his arms around SCP-5769. SCP-5769 puts its head on D-29141's shoulder and whimpers. This is allowed to last for its entire length of nearly ten minutes before D-29141 leaves.
End of interview: August 1, 2004, 9:19 PM

Addendum 5769-9
Although interviews continue with SCP-5769, they are mostly wellness checks, determining mental health and physical fitness. Minor escape attempts continue during SCP-5769's outside time, but these are not considered a serious threat, as they are all easily prevented.
SCP-5769 continues to display dangerous levels of knowledge, including highly classified information about the Foundation, as well as certain useful knowledge on the condition and operations of various groups of interest. When D-29141 ceased conducting interviews, SCP-5769 showed much less enthusiasm and a lack of willingness to cooperate. In order to ensure continued cooperation in the procuration of beneficial knowledge for the Foundation's mission to maintain normalcy, D-29141 has been permitted to be retained indefinitely as the permanent interviewer of SCP-5769, as well as allowing him to be present during all outdoor sessions, which has put an apparent stop to escape attempts.
Progress on locating the book and the man who gave it to Samuel Lane has been stagnant, with SCP-5769 either not cognizant of any pertinent information or unwilling to assist in the efforts for its own purposes. Some members of staff have suggested that the man may be "Nobody". However, there is no concrete evidence for this claim aside from the appearance of the man as described by Lane.
SCP-5769 has remained adamant about returning to Samuel Lane, despite knowledge of his memory erasure and previous opinion. It has reading and has generally been more lethargic. Due to SCP-5769's highly advanced intellect, some researchers have suggested that it is planning an escape attempt. All personnel are advised to keep a close watch on SCP-5769, as due to its deep knowledge of the facility, a successful escape attempt could cause a chain reaction, leading to a large-scale containment breach of Site-66.

Footnotes
1. "Do you speak French?"
2. "Yes. And it's not only French. I speak Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Italian, Japanese, Hebrew, Korean, Arabic, and all the other languages you can think of."
3. Egyptian god of wisdom
4. Japanese god of wisdom and longevity