The 2006 "Spacescape" LAN Party in Leipzig, shortly before the creation of SCP-5203-22.

Item #: SCP-5203
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: One instance of SCP-5203 (currently SCP-5203-22) is to be stored in a standard containment vault, within a Faraday cage enclosure to prevent electromagnetic transmissions. This instance is to be supplied with electricity and powered on.
Electronics conventions, large LAN parties, internet cafes, and similar gatherings are to be monitored for the creation of SCP-5203 instances. Should an instance form, the gathering is to be dispersed, witnesses are to be amnesticized, and all connected computers are to be separated to neutralize the instance.
If an instance of SCP-5203 is to be interviewed or otherwise interacted with through conversation, the interviewer must be accompanied by a trained psychologist. No concessions are to be made to the SCP-5203 instance, and no requests it makes are to be fulfilled.

SCP-5203-22 Manifesting [Right Screen].

Description: SCP-5203 instances are humanoid anomalies that commonly manifest at the site of interpersonal disputes involving technological competitions, particularly those involving video games and e-sports. SCP-5203 manifests on the monitors or displays of those involved immediately following the dispute, and will manifest in the physical plane if the disagreements continue. Shortly after an appearance in the physical world, SCP-5203 resembles a young man with olive skin and fair hair, albeit with several alterations. SCP-5203 instances appear as high polygon three-dimensional models, similar to those created using modern rendering software. In addition to rigid, jerky movements, this is also made visible by the shiny, semi-reflective quality on all surfaces of SCP-5203. The primary anomalous trait of SCP-5203 instances varies from instance to instance but is universally some sort of common visual glitch. Additionally, SCP-5203 emits low-level electromagnetic waves at all times, causing interference with Bluetooth, Infrared, NFC, and other wireless connection methods in the nearby area. This is believed to be a method of increasing the amount of excuses made in the nearby area.
SCP-5203 instances begin manifesting following phrases similar to those detailed in Document 5203-T1, and will eventually become opaque and fully tangible following 10-30 statements, depending on the severity. As an SCP-5203 manifests more concretely in the physical world it begins to change appearance, becoming more difficult to detect by sight alone. This has universally begun with the instance altering its textural appearance to be more in line with non-anomalous humans, losing its backlit and reflective qualities. Many SCP-5203 instances also alter their appearance to clothing appropriate to the location of manifestation, such as logo teeshirts and, on two occasions, cosplay costumes.
Addendum 1: Creation and Proliferation: The initial vector for SCP-5203, the "Caduceus Universal Turbo Controller", was manufactured and distributed by Arcadia from 1989 to 1992. Following a series of ongoing hardware and software failures throughout development, Arcadia engineers turned to anomalous means of connection.

Addendum 2: Arcadia Engineering Notes

~/library/memos/engineering_notes/Caduceus

/cd ~

10/13/89
Successfully integrated local third party support for Amiga 500 and Nintendo Entertainment System, but connection pins make Spectrum+ connection impossible. Traveling from system to system is goddamn impossible without getting some devil in this. I'm gonna go home and scream into my pillow.

10/17/89
Tests on project Caduceus have been going well! I reached out to some of the guys on the Pantherquest team, and they gave me some tips on deific siphoning, at least enough to get us pointed in the right direction. We just need some wings off his sandals instead of a whole fuckin' Jaguar, but the basic idea still holds over. The beryllium-bronze connection pins do run us a bit over budget, but the anomalous molding is absolutely necessary. R&D should be on track for production by next year's holiday season.

11/06/89
Caduceus has been a resounding success! We're ahead of schedule and below only slightly above budget! Also, one of the eggheads in the thaumaturge department mentioned the funniest shit– Mercury was born on Mount Arcadia. I don't know if the big guy will find that funny enough to overlook the energy we're draining from 'em, but hey– with the hours I've been pulling, my soul's being drained for this controller, too.

11/28/89
Bad news. We picked Mercury for his aspect as the god of travel, but whatever warlock approved the deal forgot about the whole Trickster God shtick. So basically, the controller's deific linkage causes a manifestation of godly energy outside of the proposed effect– or, in English, that means we get godly avatars who go around and cause mischief. We're working with the boys in PR to find a way to spin this, but even they might have a tough time with this one.

12/21/89
Alright, the marketers are trying to cajole the godlings into a PR stunt. Making them defend the brand, kinda a "don't blame the controller" deal. Don't know if it's gonna work, but we've fallen behind schedule and bossman wants measurements sent to the manufacturers ASAP, so it's the best we've got. I'll send over a mockup soon.

INTERNAL MEMO

After much deliberation, we have decided to end the production of the Caduceus Universal Controller. While the siphoning of deific energies has cost us heavily, the project will be abandoned until a less intrusive method of deific manifestations can be instituted. After reports of non-Arcadia products adscititiously manifesting deific avatars, the possibility of opening ourselves up to lawsuits from the larger non-anomalous community has grown too big to ignore, and as such we will be shutting down all future distribution efforts of the Mercury controller. Any items maintaining the deific imprint of Mercury will be sold or destroyed.

Addendum 3: 10/02/04 Interview Log:

Interviewed: SCP-5203-22
Interviewer: Junior Researcher Elijah Razim
Background: SCP-5203-22 was the first SCP-5203 manifestation located after the discovery of the Arcadia engineering notes listed above.

Foreword: While observing SCP-5203-22 after the events of "Spacescape", SCP-5203-22 began making vocalizations in various languages. Despite Junior Researcher Razim's lack of experience with the Foundation, his proximity to the anomaly led Containment Head Dr. Bannock to permit Razim to perform an impromptu interview with SCP-5203-22. As with all SCP-5203 instances, SCP-5203-22 initially spoke in various Hellenistic and Latian dialects, which have been translated for clarity.
<Begin Log>

Junior Researcher Razim attempts to activate the two-way microphone, resulting in a peal of reverb throughout the containment chamber

SCP-5203-22: Χαίρετε?2
Razim activates the microphone
Razim: Hello? Is this on?
SCP-5203-22: Salve, lacertula3
Razim: Oh, uh… avresti parlato inglese?4
SCP-5203-22: A wild tongue.
Razim: Holy– uh… okay.
SCP-5203-22: Why dost you hunt me like a dog? If there are questions, and they go un-answered– should they not be done so?
Razim: Okay… do you remember how you were associated with the Arcadia controllers?
SCP-5203-22: Do not call them "Arcadia." I am offspring of Arcadia, the mountain is where I was born. Those who imprisoned me do not care about the least things, and do not deserve this title.
Razim: How did… those who imprisoned you… get you?
SCP-5203-22: The fools who ensnared me did so with trickery like that of Dolos. They gave worship to me as Olympian, a luxury which I have gone hungry for since Constantine. I granted them my boon which they gathered like nectar to a hive, hoarding my favor like the rodent hoards berries.
Razim: Do you know why the controllers summon you like this? Is there anything we can do to stop these manifestations?
SCP-5203-22: They mock me now, with their "Caduceus". The Caduceus is a rod of powers such as good fortune and healing, whereas the electric tricksters have made naught but a riding crop for malleable parchment. They squander my power on trinkets and baubles, yet it does not return to me. Like the Aqua Marcia, it does not spill a drop of my essence, except in these wretched husks.
Razim: So, this isn't the real you? Like an "echo" or something?
SCP-5203-22: Am I an Oread, cursed by my queen? Nay: I am a reflection, a child of one. I will not stand for the trifling arrogance of the humans, and so I stand against you when you excuse your flaws.
Razim: That's why you manifest when people…uh… "Blame the controller", for lack of a better term?
SCP-5203-22: Humans are creatures of inequality, those which are genuine and those which are self-imposed. Over meat, you complain; over fire, you complain; over water and olives and death, you complain. Did Telemachus blame his sword, or Psyche her fingers, or Caeneus his looks? Nay; through victory or death, they became heroes. The greatest flaw of man is the refusal to be flawed. Without flaws, you are without change. Without change, you are naught but arid stumps; and I will show no mercy to those with the souls of serpents. This remnant of form is weak, but as the Acheron flows to sea, I shall stand against the followers of Hybris!
I am god of commerce and success, rich Mercury. I am lord of communication and travelers, clever Mercury. And I am god of luck and thieves, powerful Mercury. But no more shall I be god of medicine and health, forgiving Mercury– for if humanity will not accept success, will not admit to luck, will not succumb to change, then you are unworthy of my blessing. The Caduceus is mine once more.
Following this interview, SCP-5203-22 refused to engage in conversations, responding to all attempts at communication with various antiquated insults and slurs. SCP-5203-22 has been entered into long-term humanoid containment to facilitate future interviews.
End Log

SCP-5203 Containment Update – URGENT

SCP-5203 Containment Update

"Hermes and the Infant Dionysus", unearthed in 1877 under the Temple of Hera.

Addendum 4: On November 19th, 2021, a docent at the Archaeological Museum of Olympia reported vandalism of the famous Hermes di Prassitele statue: It had moved. Further investigations revealed a minor change, either about .7° rotation or ~.5 centimeters of growth, coinciding with each SCP-5203 manifestation since the 2002 interview.

Upon further research, it was found that since 1999, Olympia has the highest rate of medical malpractice, failed surgeries, and medical complications of any developed nation. Review of containment procedures requested, and reclassification to Keter pending.

Footnotes
1. Common invocations involve blaming a loss or bad move on one's computer hardware, software, or internet connection
2. "Greetings" in Koinic Greek
3. "Hello, little lizard" in classical Latin
4. "Would you have spoken English [sic]." Junior Researcher Razim's limited knowledge of the Italian language proved similar enough to SCP-5203-22's native Latin for SCP-5203-22 to understand his request.

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