by Trotskyeet

Location of SCP-5642 phenomena.

Item #: SCP-5642
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Hidden security cameras have been installed to monitor the movements of all SCP-5642-A instances. The night cleaning shift of Monument Cafe is to be conducted by Mobile Task Force Theta-10 ("Deep In The Heart") under Foundation front company "Sam's Cleanliness Provider." Any SCP-5642-A instances found during this shift are to be disposed of in the diner's dumpster.
Description: SCP-5642 refers to a series of phenomena surrounding French fries within the property of Monument Cafe, a diner in the city of Georgetown, Texas.
While they are within the diner, French fries do not decompose or spoil, but can be consumed normally and destroyed with force. This phenomenon does not occur when French fries are inside the diner's dumpster.
The secondary phenomenon surrounding the French fries occurs from 10PM to 3AM. During this time, all French fries within the diner spontaneously manifest appendages that allow for bipedal movement and the grasping of objects. Further inspection has shown these appendages are made of potato starch and water. The way the structural integrity of said appendages is kept stable is unknown.
During this window of time, French fries (hereby referred to as SCP-5642-A instances) display a limited degree of sapience, and adopt characteristics and beliefs commonly associated with the Italian-American mafia.
Observation and study of SCP-5642-A instances during this period is difficult, as SCP-5642-A instances will attempt to evade capture, and often resort to smashing themselves against the ground if cornered.
Addendum-1: On 09/03/18, an SCP-5642-A instance (hereby referred to as SCP-5642-A-1) approached a member of Theta-10, reportedly "seeking freedom in exchange for information." SCP-5642-A-1 disclosed the location of the "Carlotti Family," a collection of SCP-5642-A instances based underneath the lower left table booth. As SCP-5642-A-1 was being questioned on the organizational structure of the "Family", several SCP-5642-A instances descended from the ceiling via string, and took SCP-5642-A-1 into the ceiling tiles. Attempts to track these SCP-5642-A instances were unsuccessful.
The following video was captured by Foundation cameras the following night.

[BEGIN LOG]
The bar of the diner is dark, the camera switches to night vision. Several SCP-5642-A instances are standing on top of the bar. SCP-5642-A-1 is unconscious and is being carried by two steak fries (SCP-5642-A-2 and SCP-5642-A-3 respectively); a plastic straw wrapper can be seen covering half of its body. A paper condiment cup is placed near the group, filled with ketchup. A fourth SCP-5642-A instance (SCP-5642-A-4) walks towards SCP-5642-A-1, and takes off the wrapper.
SCP-5642-A-1: What the hell, what is-
SCP-5642-A-4 punches SCP-5642-A-1.
SCP-5642-A-1: Jesus man, what was that for?
SCP-5642-A-4: Don't play dumb, we got eyes everywhere, I saw you talking to that copper.
SCP-5642-A-1 sighs.
SCP-5642-A-1: Writing's on the wall Johnny, you hear about Lazuto's gang? All of 'em wiped out last week by those cops, they're coming after us. In a couple of weeks the Boss is probably gonna spray his starch on the wall. The cracks are forming man, new age coming, I intend to live to see it.
SCP-5642-A-4: And you sold out your own so you could get a front row seat. You know, we swore an oath when we joined, rule fucking one, don't sell out the family. You're a dirty rat, I hope you fry in hell.
SCP-5642-A-1: Look at you now, all high and mighty, being the Boss' lapdog. Y'know I remember when you first came to us, weak and soggy, barely fresh out of the fryer, tryna' score a spot in the Family. You know who vouched for you out of the whole crew? No one except for me. I made you into what you are. I'm your only friend in this goddamn diner, and don't you forget it.
SCP-5642-A-4 turns away from SCP-5642-A-1.
SCP-5642-A-4: Friends don't matter in this business Tony, only family.
SCP-5642-A-2 and SCP-5642-A-3 dunk the top portion of SCP-5642-A-1 in the ketchup cup. SCP-5642-A-1 attempts to knock the cup over, but is held down by SCP-5642-A-2 and SCP-5642-A-3. SCP-5642-A-1 squirms, but after approximately four minutes, goes limp.
SCP-5642-A-4: Make it clean boys, I don't want to see his sorry face again.
[END LOG]

One hour later Foundation monitors detected the deep fryer in the kitchen turning on. When personnel entered the kitchen, the only object in the fryer was a solitary French fry.

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