Item #: SCP-4257
Level 2/4257

Object Class: Safe
Classified

D-8991 4 hours after ingestion of SCP-4257.

Special Containment Procedures: Nine of the 15 known instances of SCP-4257 are kept in a secure container at Site-81. The six instances not in containment are currently in low-earth orbit with an expected reentry date of 2041/10/10. Testing of SCP-4257 on human subjects requires approval from the Ethics Committee and the Department of Orbital Objects Tracking (DOOT).

SCP-4257.

Description: SCP-4257 is the group designation for 15 pills created by parapharmacologist and Person of Interest "dado". The pills are bottled in a standard orange prescription container with the words "space drive by dado" written on the surface by a black marker.
Once ingested, SCP-4257 will transform the subject into an automobile, designated SCP-4257-1, over the course of an hour. The make and model of which is that typically used within their cultural background and age group. SCP-4257-1 will lack components or possess mechanical complications analogous to their human physical disabilities, although these do not appear to affect its primary anomalous properties. SCP-4257-1 entities retain their memories and personality after transformation and can perform rudimentary communication via the manipulation of their components.
SCP-4257-1 instances are capable of moving in only two directions: the direction opposite of Earth's gravity and forward. Instances can achieve high velocities with low amounts of fuel and do not require contact with a surface to move.
Addendum 4257-1: Discovery
SCP-4257 was discovered on 2020/01/22 following a report from NORAD1 of an object on an anomalous flight path entering low-earth orbit. Satellite imaging of the object identified it as a 2001 Chevy Malibu with a missing headlight and rust covering over 80% of its frame. Six instances of SCP-4257 were recorded floating in the automotive's cabin. Tracking of its flight trajectory led Foundation agents to the abandoned home of a Dave Gelespie where the remaining nine pills were recovered.
Addendum 4257-2: Recovered Message Logs
Note: The following instant messaging excerpts were discovered on the personal computer of Dave Gelespie.

Timestamp: 2020/01/20 07:22 PM

Hello? Is this Dado? Ben said you could help me.

yes. this is dado. what u need?

I'm not doing well.

The doctors have given up on treating my cancer.

u want can sirs gone?

I wish.

No, I just want help finishing my bucket list.

I was told you can accomplish some far out things.

yes. people trust dado for fine dado product.

Ok, can you get me into space?

If I'm going to die, I want to die in space.

space? how much space u need?

like in tire dado wear house?

No, like outer space. You know, the final frontier?

like elon man?

Yes! Like Elon Musk.

Can you do that?

yes. dado is fine business owner like elon man and the bezos. can do space drive 2.

Great! How long will it take? I don't have a lot of time left.

2 days, dado have amazon prime.

Wow, you are fast. How much do I owe you?

no charge

dado do this for everyone who want take space drive.

like elon man and the bezos.

Thank you!

Timestamp: 2020/01/22 01:57 PM

Hey, I got some pills with your name on them in the mail today.

I thought you were going to send me to space?

yes. dado send u pills for space drive.

How are pills going to get me to space???

This isn't some Heaven's Gate2 kind of bullshit, is it?

trust dado. pills work.

dado test on hamster. now it drive on sealing.

I just took one and don't feel very good.

Like, this is worse than the chemo.

is working. go outside.

Why? Will the fresh air help?

dado not lie able for damage 2 home.

Footnotes
1. North American Aerospace Defense Command
2. American UFO cult that committed mass ritual suicide in 1997 under the belief that they would be transported to an alien spacecraft hiding behind the Hale-Bopp comet

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