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More by DarkStuff~!

Independent SCPs

SCP
Title

SCP-445-EX
The Word of the Day is Hope

SCP-2728
On the Barcelona Skyline

SCP-2729
What is it Good For?

SCP-3018
France & the Tale of the Well-Intentioned Understudies

SCP-3465
Better Safe Than Sorry

SCP-3466
Only Birdbrains Live the American Dream

SCP-4006
#MassaTruthetts

SCP-4455
In Short…

SCP-4465
No Man is an Island

SCP-4466
Why the Long Face?

SCP-4467
Oh, I Get It Now

Co-Authored SCPs

SCP
Title
Co-Author

SCP-1549
In Absence of a Perfect Medium
Billith

SCP-2983
Choco-Wonder Explosion Marshmallow Bites!™ by Dr. Wondertainment
Uncle Nicolini

SCP-3379
D-11424 & the Arctic Meat Hole of Infinite Wonders
Weryllium

SCP-3482
Nature Versus Naturalization
Roget

SCP-3633
I'm Right Behind Me
Captain Kirby

SCP-3713
All the World's a Stage
Varaxous

SCP-4029
Too Many Legs to be Going Nowhere
MaliceAforethought

Vend-a-Friend

Chapter
Title

Act I

Chapter 1
We Just Make Toys

Chapter 2
To Think I've Spent My Whole Life Waiting

Chapter 3
I Don't Get It, I Functioned Before

Chapter 4
You Can't Win Them All

Chapter 5
Be Strange or Be Forgotten

Act II

Chapter 6
Sometimes the Best Intentions are in Need of Redemption

Chapter 7
Life's a Show

Chapter 8
...And I'm the Star!

Chapter 9
Back in Habit

Chapter 10
Pepper's Lament

Chapter 11
Souls & Somas

Chapter 12
Deceptive Cadence

Act III

Chapter 13
And I Think To Myself...

Chapter 14
Everything Will Be Okay

Chapter 15
Holding an Umbrella but the Sun's Still Shining

Ascension

Chapter
Title

Chapter 1
Sometimes I Wish This Moment Could Last Forever

Chapter 2
Waiting on the Good Times

Chapter 3
Forever Young

Chapter 4
We Didn't Do This For Nothing

Chapter 5
URA-1902 aka The Missing Link

Chapter 6
The Consequences of a Deep, Dark Disassociation

Chapter 7
The Call to Action (for a Modern Audience)

Chapter 8
The Elusive Mx. LaFerrier

Chapter 9
It Feels Like I Only Go Backwards

Chapter 10
Along for the Ride

Chapter 11
A Hole in the Tapestry

Chapter 12
XXXXX

Chapter 13
Industrial

Chapter 14
Dancing with Rachael

Chapter 15
Ascension

Epilogue
A World Unto Yourself

Collaboration Contest Entries w/ Ellie

Make America Normaler

Off the Hook

Misc. Tales

Cornelius the Collector

Curtain Call

The Really Really Real Adventures in Capitalism

I've Been Through the Desert on a Horse with No Name

On the Radar for the miniseries The Ursus Maritimus Incident

Group of Interest / Canon Hubs

Hub
Notes

Dr. Wondertainment Hub
Made w/ taylor_itkin does not match any existing user name

What a Wonderful World Hub
Made w/ help from Uncle Nicolini, a canon sprouted from Vend-a-Friend!

Wilson's Wildlife Solutions Hub
My pride and joy, my very own Group of Interest


Item #: SCP-4455
Object Class: Keter
Containment Procedures: SCP-4455 is sealed in an airtight, skintight mold. Two tubes connected to SCP-4455's esophagus and trachea will deliver water, food, and air. Two tubes connected to SCP-4455's urethra and rectum will remove excrement. Two speakers by each of SCP-4455's ears will constantly play audio books.
Description: SCP-4455 is a masculine humanoid entity with the ability to greatly condense and shorten narratives, often bypassing logical lines of causality. SCP-4455 was discovered in a white latex suit and motorcycle helmet. The suit has a single black line across the midriff and text across the left pectoral area that reads "The Streamliner".
Discovery: On 12/02/2018, SCP-4455 was discovered in battle with another anomalous entity in Chicago, Illinois. MTF Omega-12 ("Achilles Heel") was dispatched to contain both entities.

Discovery Log: The following recovery log is a transcribed excerpt from Agent LaFerrier's body camera. The entity that is not SCP-4455 has been designated SCP-4455-Ω.

(SCP-4455-Ω and SCP-4455 are seen facing each other on a roof in Chicago, while it is raining. Agent LaFerrier watches from behind rubble.)
SCP-4455-Ω: It was a dark and stormy night. I looked down on my arch-nemesis, the Streamliner. His smug, stupid face. His white, silken outfit adorned with the blood I had drawn from his quickly thinning veins. His undoing was undoubtedly in my grasp. "You fool!" I yelled, "you've run right into my trap!" His face was hard to read, but it seemed always to be like that. His eyes, blank. His outfit, white. He was almost hard to look at, how bland and unseeming he appeared.
SCP-4455-Ω: But I, the Expositor, would not be fooled this time! Streamliner had foiled me one too many times. Over, and over, how swiftly he could take down my plans. A pain in my side — nay, a pain in my everything. But this city was doomed from the start! "The bombs will go off as soon as I press this button," I said, "and all your loved ones will die! Bwahahahahahaha!!" I could not contain my laughter. The joy of finally being on top was too much.
SCP-4455-Ω: The grime of these streets, the hate that I have felt my whole god damned life. Ever since I was born, I have had shit luck. They found me in a dumpster, by a pizza place. Giordano's, if I remember correctly. Ah yes, I do. That damned pizza place. Those smug people, unknowing of the scum that live in this city. Scum like me. Oh yes, like me.
SCP-4455-Ω: And then they gave me over to those bastards, those abusers! I was beaten every night, and woke up only to be beaten again. The belt, that damned belt. But no matter. When I was of age, I tied them up one night, and strangled them with the very same belt. Those fuckers. Deserved every second that the life slowly drained from their eyes. Every second of every day since then I have sworn, sworn, that I would make this city pay for what it's done to me!
SCP-4455-Ω: And I have given my all to building this empire. This master plan. But the Streamliner! This bleeding lump of flesh that laid before me now, he stopped me at every turn. The fool! What could he ever have seen in these people!? These worthless ants that populate this city, this earth! But tonight was when it all ended. Everything I had ever worked for was leading up to this moment, and I finally got over the biggest hurdle, this freak who thinks himself some "hero". "As long as I keep talking," I began to grin, or was I grinning already?, "you have no power over me! Don't you feel like such a fool? Your greatest weakness, speech!" I laughed again. "Mwahahahahahahaha!"
SCP-4455-Ω: And nothing could stop me! Say goodbye to your miserable little city, Streamliner!! I will rise above the dirt and filth of this world, and I will —
(Agent LaFerrier emerges from behind rubble and attempts to shoot SCP-4455-Ω, but is pushed back by an invisible force synced with SCP-4455-Ω's hand motions.)
SCP-4455-Ω: No! Nothing can stop me, not some new prick or anyone!! Nothing, I said, and I meant it!! Now, back to my monologue. I will rise above the dirt and filth of this world, and I will… I will… oh dear, what was I about to say?
(SCP-4455 neutralizes SCP-4455-Ω.)

Notes: Following this exchange, "Achilles Heel" then attempted to contain SCP-4455 by force, but SCP-4455 escaped.

Recovery: 28 attempts were made to contain SCP-4455 before a successful effort. Below are recorded several notable events, along with a log of the successful attempt.

Attempt #2: On 1/20/2019, "Achilles Heel" is dispatched after SCP-4455 stops a bank robbery in Chicago. "Achilles Heel" surrounds the bank on all sides, armed with several weapons and prepared to use thaumaturgic forces.
SCP-4455 escapes.

Attempt #7: On 9/11/2019, "Achilles Heel" is dispatched after SCP-4455 reportedly rescues a cat from a tree in Maggie Daley Park (in Chicago). A helicopter attempts to spotlight SCP-4455 and track their movements. "Achilles Heel" completely surrounds the park, carrying with them SRA grenades. The helicopter is also prepared to drop SRA mines. Several agents of "Achilles Heel" run into the park to apprehend SCP-4455.
SCP-4455 escapes.

Attempt #18: The SCP-4455 research team, working in conjunction with "Achilles Heel", stages a return of SCP-4455-Ω on 3/01/2020, and lures SCP-4455 to a concrete bunker disguised as SCP-4455-Ω's "secret lair". After SCP-4455 enters the bunker, the only exit, a meter-thick steel door, is bolted shut behind it. A surveillance system shows SCP-4455 successfully contained within the bunker. Hidden SRAs in every room of the bunker are activated in an attempt to subdue SCP-4455's abilities.
SCP-4455 escapes.

Attempt #29: On 3/12/2024, "Achilles Heel" is dispatched to SCP-4455's base (discovered in the aftermath of Attempt #28). "Achilles Heel" enters the premises at 2:00 am, after seeing SCP-4455 enter the previous night. Below is an excerpt of the log.

Captain Alpha: I am entering the front door! Agent Beta and Theta are with me, Delta following closely behind.
Agent Beta: I am following Captain Alpha.
Agent Theta: As am I.
Agent Gamma: I am entering from the west window!
Agent Epsilon: I am entering from the east window.
Captain Alpha: Beta, Theta and I are inside the main lobby area. Theta and Beta are checking my back as I open the east door of this room.
Agent Gamma: I have found a door that I believe leads to the sleeping chamber of the subject!
Captain Alpha: I am instructing Agent Gamma to stay where they are and wait for backup, and for Lambda and Zeta to sweep the house!
Agent Lambda: I am entering through the roof, and afterwards I will follow directions.
Agent Zeta: I am entering behind Agent Epsilon, and afterwards I will follow directions.
Agent Eta: I am monitoring the perimeter, and awaiting further instruction.
Captain Alpha: Agent Eta, you are to continue monitoring the perimeter. I am going to enter through this door, but if there is nothing of note in this next room I and my crew of Beta and Theta will turn around and enter the west door towards Agent Gamma.
Agent Beta: Captain Alpha is opening the door! The door has been opened!
Captain Alpha: The room is blank!
Agent Zeta: Agent Epsilon and I are exiting the attic through a drop down ladder, into the rest of the house.
Agent Epsilon: I am doing what Agent Zeta says I am doing!
Agent Eta: I am still monitoring the perimeter, but I am attempting to circle the house towards the bedroom window, according to where Agent Gamma said they were!
Captain Alpha: I am opening the west door of the lobby.
Agent Beta: I am following Captain Alpha towards the west door!
Agent Theta: I am also following Captain Alpha towards the west door.
Captain Alpha: I am opening the door, I have opened the door, I am able to see Agent Gamma.
Agent Gamma: I am making eye contact with Captain Alpha. I am motioning towards the door to SCP-4455's bedroom.
Agent Eta: I have a view on SCP-4455's bedroom window.
Captain Alpha: I am about to open the door, with Agent Gamma backing me up, and Agents Beta and Theta checking behind us. What are Agents Zeta and Epsilon doing?
Agent Zeta: We are staying put, so as not to confuse the narrative.
Captain Alpha: Please continue updating, even if you are staying still, to allow as little narrative space as possible. This is our shot. I take a deep breath.
Agent Beta: Captain Alpha is currently taking a deep breath.
Captain Alpha: I am readying my weapon.
Agent Gamma: Captain Alpha has raised a tranquilizer rifle. I have pulled an SRA grenade from my pocket, handed one to Agent Theta —
Agent Theta: I have received and readied said SRA grenade.
Agent Gamma: — and I have another in my hand, ready to breach the door.
Captain Alpha: I am opening the door!
Agent Gamma: I am ready to see you open the door!
Agent Eta: I am still observing the window!
Agent Epsilon: I am staying put!
Agent Zeta: As am I!
Captain Alpha: The door is being opened, the door has been opened, I have visual on SCP-4455 —
Agent Gamma: As do I!
Captain Alpha: — and I am going to shoot a tranquilizer dart! I have shot a tranquilizer dart into SCP-4455!
Agent Gamma: I have thrown a primed SRA grenade!
Agent Beta: As have I!
Captain Alpha: SCP-4455 is incapacitated!!
Agent Eta: Everyone is cheering!

Notes: "Achilles Heel" continued to subdue SCP-4455's abilities by narrowing narrative complexity through constant speech. 52 hours later (actions took significantly longer to perform as they had to be described in detail), current containment was established. Several agents of "Achilles Heel" have been awarded the SCP Badge of Honor for their admirable field work while containing a highly unorthodox anomaly.

Addendum 4/18/2026: SCP-4455 breached containment.

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