Item #: SCP-4272
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: A Gorton Field Generator1 is to be installed in all major art museums.2 The current YouTube algorithm is to be edited to suppress the channel "Big Johnny Reviews" and all content within from appearing in the sidebar of recommended videos. All works of art taken by SCP-4272 are to be considered lost, and replacements are to be fabricated to take their place. Foundation agents embedded within art museums are to be given fast-acting tranquilizer pistols for potential use in containing SCP-4272.
Description: SCP-4272 is an obese middle aged male of indeterminate ethnicity. SCP-4272's primary anomalous properties are as follows:

On-command instantaneous matter transference. This is limited to SCP-4272 and items3 in direct contact with SCP-4272.

Control of recording devices within the immediate vicinity.4 The devices in question do not have to be intact or functioning for SCP-4272 to be able to successfully utilize them.

Digital content created by SCP-4272 is unable to be removed from the hosting platform.

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Transcripts of videos produced by SCP-4272
Video Title: Big Johnny Reviews Water Lily Pond

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[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
SCP-4272 is sitting in the driver's seat of a parked car.SCP-4272 pulls Water Lily Pond by Claude Monet from the passenger's seat.SCP-4272 begins messily devouring the painting for thirty seconds, with enough vigor to noticeably shake the car.SCP-4272 pauses to noisily lick its fingers.Three pictures of SCP-4272's face appear overlaid on the video.

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Video Title: Welcome to Big Johnny Reviews! (Channel Trailer)

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[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
Video begins with a black screen.Techno music can be heard softly in the background. Multiple clip arts of famous art pieces appear onscreen. Dance at Le Moulin by Edward Renoir, Nighthawks by Edward Hopper, and Campbell's Soup Cans by Andy Warhol are all visibly present.The background music gets noticeably louder. It is recognizable as dubstep. Several clips of SCP-4272 messily devouring art play in a sequence seemingly chosen to make SCP-4272's vocalizations louder with each consecutive clip. Multiple filters for vibrant and pulsing colors have been applied over the chosen clips.The final thirty seconds contain only graphics encouraging viewers to subscribe to the channel and follow SCP-4272 on multiple anomalous social media sites.

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Video Title: Q&A with the big ol' J! (Part 1 of 3)

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[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
SCP-4272 is seated in a parked car. The windows of the car are covered in snow.SCP-4272 pauses.SCP-4272 pauses.

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Video Title: Big Johnny Reviews 10K Subscriber Special Livestream Highlight

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[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
SCP-4272 is in the Louvre. The footage is seemingly taken by multiple security cameras. The timestamp reveals that this footage begins at 1:26 AM local time.SCP-4272 walks clumsily through the aisles, tripping multiple alarms as he does.A guard comes running around a corner ten meters ahead of SCP-4272.
Guard: Arrête toi là!6SCP-4272 begins running away from the guards, taking the first turn available. On the way, SCP-4272 rips a security camera off of the wall. The camera takes the place of actively recording SCP-4272 despite significant structural damage.SCP-4272 knocks over a nearby sculpture, causing it to crash to the ground and shatter into pieces.SCP-4272 trips and falls. The guard can be heard approaching.SCP-4272 angles the camera to reveal St John the Baptist by Leonardo Da Vinci.SCP-4272 attempts to grab the painting, but is stopped by the glass shielding. SCP-4272 grunts and pulls a hammer from its waistband.SCP-4272 rips the painting from the frame and stuffs it into the back of its sweatpants. The guards arrive in time to witness SCP-4272's retrieval of the painting.
Guard: Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas avec toi?7SCP-4272 vanishes immediately, along with a small8 portion of the floor which was in contact with its arm. The video ends two seconds after SCP-4272's disappearance.

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Addendum 4272-A:
The following video was uploaded three days after the current containment procedures were enacted.
Video Title: I got (effectively) demonetized

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[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
SCP-4272 is in a parked car. Dried tears are visible on its face.
SCP-4272 pauses.SCP-4272 pauses.

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Footnotes
1. Designed to prevent incursions by entities capable of instantaneous travel.
2. defined as museums possessing a total inventory appraised at over $500,000 worth.
3. Exact size or mass constraints unknown.
4. Exact range unknown.
5. A video titled "Q&A with the big ol' J! (Part 2 of 3)" was released five days later.
6. French for "Stop right there!"
7. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
8. Estimated at 5 kilograms.

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