Item #: SCP-4487
Object Class: Spiritual
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4487 is contained inside of SCP-4487-1, which is not to be entered by any indispensable personnel. Civilians attempting access to SCP-4487-1 must be deterred, any entering the structure are to be considered lost and unrecoverable.
In the event of a planetary syzygy between Earth and four nearby celestial bodies, five D-Class personnel are to be sent into SCP-4487-1 to appease SCP-4487. These subjects must each be given all the needed materials and training to perform the primary containment ritual inside SCP-4487-1's nave and altar. This ritual entails the following:
Four persons will be seated in the pews (designated Followers I through IV) with one standing at the altar (designated Leader). Leader is to put on the robes next to the altar and recite the sermon as shown below. If at any point Leader incorrectly recites the sermon, Leader must switch places with one Follower, with the sermon starting from the beginning. No subject is to alternate as Leader twice.
If all subjects fail to recite the sermon or are otherwise rendered unable to finish the ritual, they are to be considered lost and should not be recovered. Once the chimney of SCP-4487-1 ceases smoking after the failed ritual, the ritual is to restart with a new set of subjects.
The sermon opens with the following:

"Followers that sit down and up there! From the time that time started on up, we have been subcutaneous palimpsests of forgotten lore. Look down and through those hands you got, the ink wrote over can still be tasted with your eyes. Taste it now! It tastes like starlight!"

Followers must lick their hands at this point, they must continue even as this action burns their tongue. The sermon will continue:

"The dust pops in our mouths with a taste of sky static. The stellarlore that resides inside of us, our visages of bone and flesh contain the same soul as those bright fellows in the sky. So why… why do we view ourselves as different from they?"

At this point, SCP-4487 will descend from the ceiling beams and applaud Leader, the remaining three Followers must similarly applaud until SCP-4487 stops and ascends again. The remaining three Followers are to cover their mouths and noses with provided gags to prevent smoke inhalation at this time, Leader should inhale as much smoke as they can without losing consciousness. The sermon will continue:

"You and they are the same. Open wide. When you get that crammed into your skull and down your gullet, everything will line on up for you. I will go and ask you now my writhing palimpsests, reach for your ancient equals! Go on now, don't stop till you've grabbed yourselves a good hold of them! A good hold of your hopes! Your dreams! Your scorching reincarnations!"

The Followers are then to reach their arms upwards as high as physically possible. Temporary dislocation of bones is recommended to gain a higher reach. Once SCP-4487 ascends back onto the ceiling beams, the remaining two Followers will lower their arms and reapply the gags.
Once the smoke clears and SCP-4487 applauds from the ceiling beams, the sermon will continue:

"Ahh, you all feeling that yet? Eh? I can already see yourselves shining through all the pores in your skin. Can y'all feel that warmth in you yet? That ain't nothing you've ate now, y'all are sunshine! It's still under there somewhere, it's all there. Tell me, which fellow infamously uttered: 'Flay away all your skin and gift it to your elders. All which remains is what resides inside you: an incandescent fury. Your skin shall fold into an origami crane, flying you far away from strife,' in a screeching haze?"

The two Followers must point at SCP-4487. Once it finishes bellowing, the sermon will continue:

"Indeed! As it is so, we all wander furiously on the brink of our own lusts and wants. We got all our heads in the sand when we should have them in the clouds. Not even in the clouds per se, just up there with that old fellow! We'll all sing hearty songs through the television static night while looking out the hued refractions of the stained glass windows. Our views of the outside world filtered through images of the stars burning in those colorful mosaics. That's the real dream fellas. That's your dream fellas! I'll even go as far up and out as saying it's the American Dream!"

SCP-4487 will descend from the ceiling. The remaining Follower should not use the gags at this time and must inhale as much smoke as possible. The sermon will finish:

"Are y'all ready now? Ready to follow your dream?"

The Follower will cheer. As SCP-4487 descends and ascends from the ceiling beams once more, the Follower must continue cheering until they cannot. Leader then must drink the liquid from the chalice produced by SCP-4487 and take its hand in acceptance. Leader must not struggle when SCP-4487 unfurls.
By the time Leader regains consciousness, SCP-4487 will have completed the construction of the folded crown. Leader must place this crown atop their head, and keep it atop their head regardless of what occurs next. No signs of reluctance from Leader during their unfurling and conjoining should be shown. Once contact with Leader is lost and SCP-4487-1's chimney ceases smoking, the ritual is to be deemed successful.
Failure to complete the sermon before the syzygy's end will require these procedures to be completed elsewhere, in an alternate plane. Before the stars go out, these protocols will be passed forth to those next.
Description: SCP-4487 are the above containment procedures and object class. To inquire on the legitimate containment information for SCP-4487, contact Lead Researcher Shannon Yales. SCP-4487 will spontaneously replace the actual containment procedures of SCP objects in digital Foundation databases, switching its listed item number with that of the affected document. Changes caused by SCP-4487 can usually be reverted.
SCP-4487 has continuously affected its own SCP designation file upon the page's creation. Attempts to remove or edit SCP-4487 from this page resulted in the edits being immediately reverted to reinclude SCP-4487, with the editors experiencing muttered glossolalia1 for short periods after.
The anomaly described in SCP-4487 does not match any currently known by the Foundation, further investigation is deemed of high priority.

Footnotes
1. The phenomenon of "speaking in tongues."

« SCP-4486 | SCP-4487 | SCP-4488 »