Item #: SCP-3938
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3938 is to be kept in a standard containment chamber with a singular bike rack at Site-13. SCP-3938 is to be equipped with a GPS tracking device. Testing is to be approved by Level 3 personnel.
Description: SCP-3938 is an animate stylized bicycle. Between the handle bars at the front is a plastic cartoon face with a round red nose, large eyes with oval pupils, and blue lips. Both of its wheels have an orange disc wheel cover with a red circle at the center. The bike seat is designed to resemble a sofa cushion with a backrest, and has a seat belt which goes over the waist. It has two antenna flags bearing the image of a stylized W attached to the back wheel and a radio speaker beneath the sides of the seat. At the back, it has a white metal plate which reads "Dr. Wondertainment's Take-You-Anywhere Machine."
SCP-3938 is sapient and is capable of vocalization in English. It has shown to be able to speak other languages though it prefers not to due to lack of fluency. It speaks in an excited tone and will often offer to give personnel a ride on it. It can stand up on its own and wander its vicinity in a slow pace which it claims to find tiring. SCP-3938 enjoys discussion about geography and landmarks, saying that it enjoys it because it is performing its intended purpose, which is being an educational product in regards to aforementioned topics.
When ridden by a human, SCP-3938 is capable of rapid speeds of up to ██ km per hour. Regardless of speed, it will sometimes leave a trail of flames and play the songs "Speed Demon" by Michael Jackson or "Bat Out Of Hell" by Meat Loaf on the radio speaker.1 It is also capable of flight via unknown means, which it only performs to go over obstacles2 or upon the rider's request. During the ride, SCP-3938 will ask the rider if they have a specific location they may wish to visit. When a location is given, SCP-3938 will take the subject to the specified location via flight or land; however, SCP-3938 will sometimes refuse and provide a reason in regards to a location. For example, requesting the Moon leads to the response, "You need a space suit." When finally at the designated location, SCP-3938 will give a tour around the area of notable locations and surrounding areas that may interest the rider.
SCP-3938 came in a large cardboard box. The box displayed images of SCP-3938 and the price at the corner being $35.99 (US) along with the caption "Paradox free!" The following is a description of the item on the box:

Oh, the places you'll go with Dr. Wondertainment's Take-You-Anywhere Machine!
Now you can go visit and learn of fun places old and far. You simply no longer need to see the world only in a book so go and see any place! Wherever. Whenever. The past, present or future! You can do so via flight or on good old land! Wow!
Just be sure to wear a helmet, boys and girls, and don't feed the Dinosaurs!
For any questions, please contact Wondertainment Customer Service at 1-800-█████-████.3

From the description, it is assumed that SCP-3938 could perform time travel, though there has been no evidence proving this. See Addendum 01 and Document 3938.
SCP-3938 was recovered from an auction hosted by Group of Interest 'Marshal, Carter and Dark Ltd.' by Mobile Task Force Mu-03 ("Highest Bidders") on 12/10/06.
Addendum 01: The following transcript is an interview with SCP-3938.

Interviewed: SCP-3938
Interviewer: Dr. Rodriguez
<Begin Log>Dr. Rodriguez: No thanks, SCP-3938. I just have some questions for you.Dr. Rodriguez: Well, do you have any features we are unaware of?Dr. Rodriguez: Are you sure? Most Wondertainment products usually have an array of features.Dr. Rodriguez: Well…
[Dr. Rodriguez is informed to deny SCP-3938's question via an ear piece.]
Dr. Rodriguez: No. There are no such details on the box.Dr. Rodriguez: How so?Dr. Rodriguez: Right… Well, I believe we are done for today.<End Log>

Document 3938: The following documents were retrieved from the offices of Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd. before and after acquisition of SCP-3938. The external report section of MC&D documents has been removed for redundancy.

+ ACCESS DOCUMENT

– hide block

DW334/WD6Y6/F3G7H

Status
Selling

Demand
Medium

Value
TBD

Availability
Unique

Identifier
Original Dr. Wondertainment's Take-You-Anywhere Machine

Description
A sentient animate bicycle with capabilities of instant transportation. Item is colorful and has a cartoon face at the front. It is meant to be educational.

Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.

Initial Report

Author
Lucas Monaco
Date
10/18/2006

Interest
Medium
Identifier
Original Dr. Wondertainment's Take-You-Anywhere Machine

Item was acquired from an associate of Dr. Wondertainment during a mass recall of the product. Dr. Wondertainment has yet to rerelease the product and it is unknown why the mass recall took place. Associate speculates it is either an error in manufacturing, likely in regards to the feature of supposed time travel implied on the product description of the box that is nonexistent. Due to this, the item has been deemed valuable to auction off as a vintage item.

Filed Opened Under
DW334/WD6Y6/F3G7H

Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.

Memo 1

DW334/WD6Y6/F3G7H

Sender
Alexander Beltman
Recipient
Lucas Monaco

A Wondertainment recall agent came by today. It asked questions about the Take-You-Anywhere Machine though I don't think it knows we have it. It pretty much said if someone is trying to sell one to us then to report it. Of course, I said okay and it left. Also, we lost contact with the associate. I don't know, Lucas. Wondertainment could be on to us. What if it shows up again?

Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.

Memo 2

DW334/WD6Y6/F3G7H

Sender
Lucas Monaco
Recipient
Alexander Beltman

If it shows up again, just deny any questions. Due to Christmas approaching, we will have the item no longer in our possession soon at auction. As for the associate, I wouldn't be too concerned about them.

Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.

Note: The following memos were retrieved after acquisition of SCP-3938 by MTF Mu-3.

Memo 3

DW334/WD6Y6/F3G7H

Sender
Alexander Beltman
Recipient
Lucas Monaco

Lucas, respond quick because a Wondertainment representative is on the line. They believe we may know the location of the item as we do with other items not in our possession. To clarify, they don't think we have it but think we may know someone who does. What do I tell them?

Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.

Memo 4

DW334/WD6Y6/F3G7H

Sender
Lucas Monaco
Recipient
Alexander Beltman

Alright, I consulted with the tracking team and they are unsure. Although, there is reason to believe it is likely in Foundation custody which usually happens.

Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd.

Addendum 02: [LEVEL 4 CLEARANCE REQUIRED]

+ Insert Credentials

- ACCESS GRANTED

The following note was found in the mail room of Site-13.

To the SCP Foundation,
I recently became aware that you all are in possession of a defective product, the Take-You-Anywhere Machine. The product has developed multiple problems but the main concern is in regard to its removed feature of time travel. It is unable to perform said function and is not supposed to have any memory of it. Our packaging department forgot to also change the box. On top of that, it has some residue left from the mechanisms which ran the time travel feature.
For your safety, please ensure that no harm comes to this product or else it will explode. Of course, knowing how you all are, you wouldn't let harm come its way. As I was informed by my PR department, keep this information private to prevent unease. It's not good for business, they say.
We will soon send our recall agent to retrieve the product. At the moment, he is being put back together after he blew up along with another Take-You-Anywhere Machine during transit.
So please be careful and keep the bicycle calm and happy. It's best to not hurt its feelings.
Sincerely,
Dr. Wondertainment and associates

Footnotes
1. Investigation has shown no direct affiliation with Michael Jackson, Meat Loaf, and producers.
2. Examples include buildings or rocky terrain.
3. Defunct number which plays an automated message stating, "Sorry, Wondertainment is not associated with this number. Please contact customer service for when customer service services launch."

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