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⚠️ Content warning: This work of fiction involves scenes which depict or allude to topics which may be particularly distressing for some readers.

Animal Abuse
Gore


⚠️ content warning  
Item #: SCP-3867
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation web crawlers are to track and erase any mention of SCP-3867 on the internet. Artificial Intelligence Construct TSAT has been programmed to monitor the Dark Web for any information relating to SCP-3867 or its creator(s).
Description: SCP-3867 is an anomalous website under the domain 'www.scpd.♡♡♡', named 'Sweet Cats & Perfect Dogs!'.
When visited, SCP-3867 will load a unique page displaying an image of its visitor's pet and describing the most recent actions taken by the subject of the image1. When visited by a subject without a dog or cat, SCP-3867 will instead display an image and the most recent actions taken by an animal available for adoption at the nearest animal shelter. Subjects will then be prompted to adopt the animal in question in order to 'experience these cute moments firsthand'.
SCP-3867 Testing Log

Subject: Researcher Jade
Result:

Sweet Cats & Perfect Dogs!

Be vewwy vewwy quiet!

Franklin just snored a little bit but didn't wake up. He seems to be dreaming about sleeping. What a lazy, lazy boy! Make sure to pet him as soon as you get home, he misses you and wants to sit next to you as you unwind!

Subject: Researcher Watts
Note: Researcher Watts does not own a pet.
Result:

Sweet Cats & Perfect Dogs!

I hate Mondays!

Dexter is pretty sure he just saw something dart across the wall, but he thinks it might just be that weird bright thing he can never seem to catch. He decided that rather than waste his efforts in grabbing the sneaky culprit now, he's going to let things play out. Sorry Dexter, but that was just light coming in through the window!
If you like Dexter and want to experience such cuteness in person, you can adopt him from the Chattanooga Cat Rescue, where he is currently in a Foster Home!

Subject: Researcher Matthias
Note: Researcher Matthias does not own a pet, but expressed his parents owned a cat.
Result:

Sweet Cats & Perfect Dogs!

Rain, rain, go away!

Sommer's sunbathing was just interrupted by a raindrop. Uh oh, Sommer, you best find somewhere to hide before it really starts coming down! I hear underneath the porch it's nice and dry!

Post Examination Notes: It appears SCP-3867 is capable of identifying other animals the subject is personally attached to. - Dr. Yerko

Subject: Researcher Alces
Note: Researcher Alces has not owned a pet since age 16.
Result:

Sweet Cats & Perfect Dogs!

Can't wait to be with you again.

Pinto is playing in the fields, passing the time until it's your turn to meet with her again in front of the rainbow bridge. She's happy and running to her heart's content!

Post Examination Notes: Research into a possible connection between SCP-3867 and SCP-3737 is currently ongoing.- Dr. Yerko

Subject: D-1221
Note: D-1221 was selected for testing due to their history of animal abuse.
Result:

Sweet Cats & Perfect Dogs!

Why?

Nala wondered why her best friend was putting her in a sack, then wondered why she kept hearing all those funny noises, until she wondered why it was so hard to move all of a sudden. Nala stopped wondering after she stopped breathing.

Post Examination Notes: This is the third time the messages condemned subjects who have committed some form of atrocity towards animals. I'd like to see what would happen when SCP-3867 is tested on someone who has neutralized a large number of them. - Dr. Yerko

Subject: Dr. Yeatley
Note: Dr. Yeatley was selected due to their position as lead SCP-1459 researcher.
Result:

Stop Culling Puppies, Dick.

You will totally go to hell for this.

A blender? Really? It looks like a goddamn jamba juice.

Footnotes
1. Following extensive testing involving the surveillance of testing personnel's pets, the described actions were found to be accurate when not describing esoteric actions.

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