Agents of the WEBCUTTER joint task force excavate a dump site in Vermont related to SCP-3256, 2011.

Item #: SCP-3256
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Information relating murders that follow the modus operandi of the SCP-3256-A released to the public are to exclude all information related to the states of the bodies. Individuals responsible for cataloging evidence related to the crimes of SCP-3256-A (police officers, members of the medical examiner's office) are to be administered amnestics as appropriate, and information regarding the bodies is to be modified to a degree that it is rendered non-anomalous.
Individuals who are part of Task Force WEBCUTTER are to be given monthly physical and psychological exams. In the event that any agent shows signs of being affected by SCP-3256, they are to be immediately contained and sent to Site-92 for treatment. New personnel joining WEBCUTTER are to be given a standard Euler-Melbourne Memetic Hazard Resistance Test (Or simply Euler-Melbourne Test); individuals who score lower than a threshold of 74 are to be reassigned.
Description: SCP-3256 refers to a memetic anomaly which manifests in information related to murders fitting the modus operandi of the Brockton Bay Binder (tentatively designated SCP-3256-A), a serial murderer who was active in the New England region of the United States from 1993-2000. Specifically, SCP-3256 has the ability to manifest in any written descriptions, artistic and photographic depictions, fictionalized or dramatized portrayals, and speech that depicts or describes a body mutilated in the manner which is consistent with SCP-3256-A's MO.
SCP-3256-susceptible individuals (designated SCP-3256-S) who are exposed to SCP-3256 are designated SCP-3256-B. Upon infection, SCP-3256-B subjects will begin to develop several behaviors that were not previously observed in the subject, most prominently trichophagia, mucophagia,1 and a strong aversion to insects, bordering on a entomophobia.2 Of note, while arachnophobia is often comorbid with entomophobia, SCP-3256-B individuals more often show signs of arachnophilia, actively seeking out venomous species of spider. This is possibly related to [DATA EXPUNGED].
SCP-3256-B subjects will, eventually, be compelled to carry out at least one murder matching the MO of SCP-3256-A. The amount of murders carried out by SCP-3256-B subjects is unknown, but is believed to be between 150 and 200. Information on murders carried out by SCP-3256-B act as a further vector for this meme.
Due to the nature of SCP-3256, the MO is stored separately from the main document; see Addendum 3256-12.
SCP-3256-S have several common criteria, out of thirty-nine observed instances:

100% of SCP-3256-S individuals are both biologically male at birth, and identify as male.
100% of SCP-3256-S individuals have lived somewhere in the New England region of the United States for more than five years.
100% of SCP-3256-S individuals are Caucasian.
92% of SCP-3256-S individuals have brunette hair.
90% of SCP-3256-S individuals are between the ages of 15 and 32.
89% of SCP-3256-S individuals have, at some point in their life, have had an intimate relationship with an individual of the same gender.
54% of SCP-3256-S individuals have had three or fewer instances of consensual sexual intercourse in their life.

Addendum: An abridged account of the Brockton Bay Binder: The name "Brockton Bay Binder" was coined by the Brockton Bay Chronicle following the discovery of the first five victims over the course of March to September 1993. The last victim attributed to the Binder was believed to have died in July 2000, with little connection between the victims. No attempt was made by the individual committing these crimes to contact law enforcement or the media.
The murders only occurred from Mid-March to Mid-October, and occurred more frequently in areas with high arachnid populations. Victims ranged in age from twenty to forty-five. All but one victim was female; the sole male victim, found in 1997, was attributed to a copycat prior to the discovery of SCP-3256.
Forty-one victims were attributed to the Brockton Bay Binder in a range encompassing Vermont, New Hampshire, southern Maine and northern coastal Massachusetts; however, the number of victims may be higher than seventy. The killings were listed as an Item of Interest to the Foundation, due to their unique nature, but were considered to be non-anomalous.
Information pertaining to the Brockton Bay Binder was publicly known for the duration of their active period, and was in the public consciousness for several years afterwards, due to the bizarre nature of the murders. The killings have formed the basis for episodes of several American crime drama and police procedural television programs, such as the 2005 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation episode "Web of Murder", the 2008 Bones episode "The Name in the Nostril", and the 2009 Criminal Minds episode "Said the Spider".3
The true identity (or possibly identities) of this individual has never been ascertained. Due to the profile formed by SCP-3256-B individuals, it is assumed that the individual/individuals who carried out the original murders were similar in appearance and background.
Discovery: SCP-3256's first known manifestation was in 2008, when a series of apparent copycat murders began in █████, Maryland, home of Harold Kingsmith, an FBI profiler who worked on the Brockton Bay Binder case in the 1990s. Kingsmith had gone missing 24 hours prior to the discovery of the first body, which belonged to his wife Dana Quill-Kingsmith. Two further bodies were discovered before Kingsmith was apprehended attempting to dispose of a fourth victim.
Kingsmith was later interviewed by an Unusual Incidents Unit agent, William Boston.

Boston: Mr. Kingsmith, I'm Agent Boston, Unusual Incidents.
(Kingsmith is not responsive, and remains seated.)
Boston: You've had quite the career in the bureau. You were one of John Douglas's proteges,4 helped work UNABOM5. The Binder was one of your last cases.
(Kingsmith remains unresponsive)
Boston: (sighs.) Okay. I've got a list of phrases here that I'm going to read off. Guys above me say that this should… well, this might get a reaction out of you, depending on what happened.
Boston: It is raining in Gilgamesh, Ohio. (Pauses; no reaction from Kingsmith) Okay. Are We Cool Yet? (No reaction from Kingsmith.) Huh. You guys might have to edit this down, this could take a while.
(The next twenty-four minutes consist of Agent Boston reading various memetic trigger phrases to Kingsmith. They have been excised for the sake of brevity.)
Boston: Hotel Babylon has closed its doors. The wagtail has returned. Athena's loom is shattered. Pandora's box vomits—
(Kingsmith begins picking at their nose as the phrase 'Athena's loom is shattered' is spoken.)
Boston: Okay, that got a reaction. Let's see, 'Athena's loom' corresponds to— oh shit.
Kingsmith: We never caught him.
Boston: What?
Kingsmith: We never caught the Binder. (Kingsmith's picking at nose intensifies, and begins to draw blood) I caught him, though. Like you catch the clap. I. I had to. They were begging for it. For me to [REDACTED] their insides, but it wasn't me, it was never me.
Kingsmith: I'm sorry I ever made fun of your unit. You can handle this. I can't.
(At this point, Kingsmith was suffering a massive nasal hemorrhage, and paramedics on standby entered the room to staunch the bleeding. Kingsmith has been unresponsive to further interview attempts, both by Foundation and Unusual Incidents personnel.)

Formation of Task Force "WEBCUTTER": Originally, the "Discovery" Incident was categorized as an Extranormal Event. However, following two further incidents in Maine (the perpetrators of which remain unaccounted for), a joint Foundation-Unusual Incidents Unit task force, codenamed "WEBCUTTER", was formed. The goal of WEBCUTTER is to contain all instances of SCP-3256-B subjects, develop a memetic vaccine for SCP-3256, and obfuscate reports of SCP-3256 activity to prevent further spread of the anomaly. Furthermore, it is to work with other units of the FBI (specifically the Behavioral Analysis Unit and the Evidence Response Team) to investigate reports of activity related to the original Binder.
Currently, the WEBCUTTER task force is comprised of twenty non SCP-3256-S personnel, including:
Foundation Personnel:

Lt. Dr. Kyle Jobar — SCP-3256 containment specialist
Dr. Urmd Abdul— Forensic Anthropologist
Dr. Wendell Adler— Forensic Biologist and Autopsy Technician
Dr. Helena Bloom— Memeticist
Dr. Sophia Fitzgerald— Memeticist
Hobert Brennan— Investigative Agent

FBI Personnel:

Cpl. Alexander Mooney — Task Force Chief
Dr. Edgar Park— Special Agent, PhD in Psychology
Dr. Meghan Scott— Forensic Analyst and Autopsy Technician
Stella Abbey— Special Agent, Liaison to the Anomalous Community of the United States (LACUS)
Leslie Jefferson— Special Agent and Press Liaison

Publicly, WEBCUTTER is a task force investigating the possible reemergence of the Binder, or a copycat killer.

Collected Findings and Recordings of WEBCUTTER:
Autopsy Report of Jane Doe #001:

Deceased: Jane Doe DOB: Unknown DOD: 5/9/2009
Address: Unknown State: MA Zip: [REDACTED] Age: Late 20s Sex: F
Race: Hispanic
Height: 137cm Weight: 54kg Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown Build: Petite
Scars and Amputations: [REDACTED] removed post-mortem.
Description of Decedent's Clothing: Naked; arms and feet bound in [REDACTED], facial openings (except for nostrils) covered in same manner.
Manner: Homicide
Cause: Suffocation by introduction of [REDACTED] to sinus cavity and trachea.

Dr. Adler: Recording's up. This is Dr. Wendell Adler. It is the twelfth of May, 2009. I am conducting an autopsy on a Jane Doe related to the Binder killings. With me is my equivalent from the Unusual Incidents Unit, Dr. Morgan Scott—
Dr. Scott: Meghan. Not Morgan.
Dr. Adler: Apologies. Primary toxicological screenings have found trace amounts of latrotoxin in the system, in higher concentrations than in previously recorded victims. No signs of symptoms related to latrodectism are present in the body, suggesting that the subject died prior to the symptoms manifesting.
Dr. Scott: Ms. Doe is in poor condition; something got at her good. We've been unable to determine whether [REDACTED] was removed by human teeth, or a scavenging animal. Due to the apparent MO of our Unknown Subject, I will begin by examining the nasal cavities. Where's that endoscope?
Dr. Adler: Hold on, it's up here. Let me set it up to record.
Dr. Scott: I've handled one of these before, thank you. All right, I'm going to enter the subject's trachea through their nasal cavity…
Dr. Adler: Wait, what's that?
Dr. Scott: Huh? Oh. Holy shit. Are those [REDACTED]?
Dr. Adler: Wrong time of year for them. Too early.
Dr. Scott: Could be another type of growth. I'm going to get a closer look.
(At this point, Dr. Scott's endoscope makes contact with the [REDACTED] in the subject's sinus. Startled, Scott removes the endoscope abruptly, tearing open the sinus cavity and exposing the [REDACTED]. Dr. Adler grabs an acetylene torch and attempts to incinerate the [REDACTED] emerging from the cadaver. The cadaver's face is destroyed beyond any possibility of reconstruction. Dr. Adler was reprimanded for destroying evidence.)
(Further endoscopic inspection of cadavers linked to SCP-3256 are to be carried out only with joint approval from Lt. Jobar and Agent Mooney.)

Excerpt from Audio Diary of Edgar Park:

Park: It is Thursday, May 21st, 2009. This is my fourth entry into this diary. God knows who I'm recording this for; either my guys or the Foundation's are gonna redact all of it.
When I was at Quantico, one of the things that was made clear to us: the FBI, not just Unusual Incidents, is a bunch of fuckups. Mulder and Scully aren't absurd because they hunt bigfoot and aliens; they're absurd because they get shit done. It's 80% paperwork, maybe more; one of my first assignments in training was to write an archival request so I could access a gallery of shit that's been sent to Manson over the years. I… failed that.
When it comes to serial killers, we've dropped the ball more times than we've got it. BTK6 got away for over a decade after his spree ended, and he was the one that provided the shit that put him away.7 We're just as clueless about Zodiac, and a bunch of fucked up shit happens in Cleveland that we don't know about.
Point is: We don't have the best track record when it comes to normal serial killers. It's even worse when you start bringing carts, cans, and other shit into the picture.
(Indistinct speech is heard)
Get me a quarter-pounder and a chocolate shake.
Where was I? Right. The FBI are fuckups when it comes to serial killers; we've only had to deal with one anomalous one in the past, thank Christ. MI-Triple-68 had to deal with a pair of them in Liverpool back in oh-two, so I'm trying to figure out how they handled them.
The Binder's one of the worst loose ends when it comes to New England. Hopefully, we can at least catch the original one and put this shit to rest.
I'm gonna smoke and wait for the guys to get back with food. Park out.

SCP-3256 Outbreak in the Greater Boston Area, October 2009:
The outbreak coincided with the airing episode of the American crime procedural Criminal Minds, featuring a serial murderer killing using animal venom. A character in the program draws comparisons between the "Unsub" antagonist and the Binder in the first act of the episode, which acted as a vector for SCP-3256. This episode, titled "Said the Spider", was immediately removed from circulation.
The first killing was reported in the Jamaica Plain neighborhood. A twenty-one year-old female was discovered in their home, found with all [REDACTED] removed, consistent with the M.O. of SCP-3256-1.

Transcript of Audio from a Search of the Jamaica Plain Address

– hide block

Agent Jefferson: Just got off the phone with the Globe. They've agreed to not print the story for the time being. What've you guys found?
Agent Park: Whole bunch of these. [Sound of objects rattling around in plastic containers.]

Agent Jefferson: Cold meds? Lot of nighttime ones, too. You could knock out a whale with this much stuff.
Agent Brennan: And there's enough tissues in the trash cans to reconstruct a genetic profile from either nasal drainage or semen.
Agent Park: Jesus, man, where's your filter?
Agent Jefferson: Is that where she was hang—
Agent Brennan: Ahem. [Loudly taps the recording device] Possible vector.
Agent Jefferson: Why doesn't just seeing the body make us want to act it out? Why does it have to be described to us?
Agent Brennan: That's for Bloom and Fitzgerald to figure out. Anyone living with the victim?
Agent Park: Signs of co-habitation; boxers in the laundry, two toothbrushes, bunch of birth control. So it looks like her partner's the culprit.
Agent Jefferson: There's no pictures in the house, or any electronics that could save a photograph— laptop, phone, anything. Never seen them be this meticulous.
Agent Park: Even memetic psychopaths leave fingerprints, Les. Let's get out of here before we trample the crime scene any more; Meg's plane will be here soon.

A survey of the victim's house identified the cohabitant, and Person of Interest in this manifestation of SCP-3256, as Linus Planter, who fits the profile of an SCP-3256-S subject with 98.99% certainty. Interviews with family members led the Foundation to believe that Planter had been suffering from a respiratory infection prior to the murder of his romantic partner.
The second body was rendered unidentifiable, with the body being found in pieces, suspended in several trees around the Walden Pond State Reservation; this was a strong deviation from the MO of SCP-3256-B individuals, who had previously [REDACTED]. However, it was found that all [REDACTED] was absent from the corpse, and the hypothesis was put forward that Planter had placed the fragments for later consumption of the remaining [REDACTED] tissue.

Transcript of Video Recording of the Apprehension of Linus Planter

Hide Transcript

[Agents of WEBCUTTER have placed cameras in the trees surrounding the pond that have had [REDACTED] placed in them. Seven cameras are present; only four are relevant to the events that occurred.]
[Camera 1 shows Agents Park and Abbey conversing in the Walden Pond visitor's center while looking at a laptop monitor broadcasting the feed from the cameras.]
Abbey: You know why I hate Thoreau?
Park: Because he was an incomprehensible writer?
Abbey: That, and he was a hypocrite. Talked so much about living in tune with nature, and then he goes and starts a wildfire. Nearly burned down Concord in the process.
Park: You're joking.
Abbey: No, I'm not. Dumbass should've been locked up for the rest of his life. Instead, he inflicted Walden on us. [Abbey pauses.] Hold on, cycle the cameras back.
[Cameras cycle through to Camera 3, where a naked, human male is spotted, liquid foaming at his mouth.]
Park: That's Planter.
Abbey: What's that on his mouth?
Park: Nevermind that. Call for backup. [Park stands up.] I'm going out to get him. Where's camera three?
Abbey: It's on the western side, but— [Park exits the visitor's center] Ed! For fuck's—- [Abbey radios agents of WEBCUTTER located in the vicinity.]
[Camera 3 shows Planter standing under the tree containing what is believed to be the victim's left lung and right forearm, foaming at the mouth and nose. The foam [REDACTED] and Planter pulls down the suspended body parts, which he begins consuming.]
[Planter continues to consume the body for six minutes, until Agent Park appears behind him, pistol pointed at Planter's back. No audio is registered on the camera.]
[Planter stands and turns to face Park, before lunging at Park and [DATA EXPUNGED]. Park struggles on the ground, suffocating on [REDACTED]. Planter stops attacking Park, apparently alerted by a noise, and runs off-frame.]
[Camera 6 shows a Foundation camp, with the WEBCUTTER containment team, mobilizing to intercept Planter. En route, Planter appears on Camera 5, crawling on all fours before the containment team. Planter [DATA EXPUNGED] incapacitating two members as they are pulled up into the trees and out of view.]
[One member of the containment team steps forward, bearing a wrist-mounted tablet broadcasting a series of possible SCP-3256 counter-memes in a loop. Observing that Planter reacts poorly to Countermeme 22, the agent pauses on this frame, at which point Planter flees.]
[Containment team members fire repeatedly in the direction Planter is fleeing, before Planter attempts to scale a tree, at which point he is shot in the left calf by an agent and taken into custody.]
[Camera 3 shows Park removing the [REDACTED] from his mouth, and subsequently vomiting due to oxygen deprivation. Samples of the vomit taken post-incident show that it contained several desiccated [REDACTED].]

Excerpt from the Audio Diary of Edgar Park:

Park: It is November 2nd, 2009. This is my twenty-second entry in this diary. Planter's in custody, and he's just been… numb. A lot like Kingsmith wash— was. Was. Mouth still feels weird from having it covered in that… stuff.
I wonder if he even knows he did it. He barely makes noise anymore. No screaming, talking. Just him, rocking back and forth in his cell, eating his own snot and hair. I wonder what the hell he's doing that for.
It's better than him crying, at least. That's what he did the first night in custody— or containment. For us, it's custody, but the Foundation's taken him, so I guess it's 'containment' now. They're trying to figure out what makes him tick, and… from what I understand, it's not going well—
Hold on. I'm getting a text.
[Agent Park pauses for several seconds]
Son of a bitch. He's dead.

Autopsy Report of Linus Planter:

Deceased: Linus Planter DOB: 3/12/1987 DOD: 11/9/2009
Address: [REDACTED] State: MA Zip: [REDACTED] Age: 22 Sex: M
Race: Caucasian
Height: 180cm Weight: 63kg Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Build: Medium
Scars and Amputations: Scar on left palm, acquired in childhood.
Description of Decedent's Clothing: Standard Issue Foundation Jumpsuit.
Manner: Unknown, speculated suicide
Cause: Suffocation by introduction of [REDACTED] to sinus cavity and trachea.

Dr. Scott: As Dr. Adler is at a conference, I will be conducting the autopsy alone. Yeah, corpse of a man who suffocated on— right, vector, can't say what it is. And I'm alone with it.
I'm in biohazard gear, and I've got a flamethrower ready, in case it goes like the first Jane Doe. Eugh. Endoscopic examination at least didn't show any [REDACTED] in the nose this time.
I've opened the chest cavity. No abnormalities visible, but… oh god. The bones are… elastic. They're stretching as I touch them, like rubber, or cloth. It's unsettling.
[A loud crack is heard on the recording]
Shit! I just broke one of the floating ribs on the left— and it's sticking to my hand. What the fuck?
Egh. It's fibrous. Finally managed to get it off in the most unprofessional manner possible.
[Irrelevant data, including an examination of the subject's abdominal organs, has been excised.]
Dr. Scott: Okay, that's that. [Dr. Scott sighs] Dr. Adler hypothesized that there may be anomalies in the sinuses. I guess there's only one way to find out. I've only done this on training cadavers back in med school. Need to cut open the skin… and break the bone. I hate the sound of that, because I always associate it with something having gone horribly, irreversibly wrong.
I've exposed the bone to the air… the sinus should be under here. Just need to break it open and…
Oh my god. What the fuck. What the fuck what the fuck what the—
[Screaming, followed by the sound of the recording microphone hitting the floor, and Dr. Scott tripping the biohazard alarm.]
Afterword: A large amount of [REDACTED] had emerged from the subject's sinus cavity when opened, and proceeded to cover the room. Dr. Scott was recovered from the room, suffering minor bruises as a result of being cut down from the [REDACTED], but was otherwise physically unharmed.

Excerpt from the Audio Diary of Edgar Park:

Park: It is January 1st, 2010. Happy New Year.
I'm looking back on the case over the past year. We've managed to catch one perp, and we're in the off season. If this were a normal FBI task force, we'd be disbanded, hailed as heroes. But that's not gonna happen any time soon.
This isn't the first time the FBI's had to deal with a paranormal serial killer. There was speculation that the original Binder killings were anomalous, but the Unit wasn't brought on in any official capacity. Before the Binder, there was the Smiler. He was called that because every single of of his victims died with a smile on their face, and their bodies were shown to be full of dopamine and endorphins upon death. They… died of happiness. That's the only way that we could describe it. Operated in the Midwest.
The Smiler's spree lasted for only six years, but in that time, he killed nineteen and left seven more with permanent brain damage. We're still not sure how he did it, something to do with a brain tumor and air currents. Agent Clyde Zhang — he used to be in the Cincinnati division — ended up shooting him in the middle of Chicago, after he got the entire goddamn city to start laughing. We don't know how he got that powerful, but after Zhang put an entire clip into his chest… he got booted to desk work. Saved millions of people, and that's the thanks he gets.
[Park pauses for several seconds]
My resolution: don't end up like Clyde. Park out.

Person of Interest: Melissa Portman:

Foreword: Melissa Portman (b. 1979) was one of the Binder's last victims, and the sole surviving victim. Portman was abducted from her home near Salem, Massachusetts in early June of 1999, and injected with an unknown amount of pancuronium bromide9, the intent of which was to render her conscious but unable to move. However, Portman had recently been injected with atropine sulfate to treat mushroom poisoning, which acted as a partial antidote to the pancuronium; Portman describes the drug as having fully worn off "seconds before they stopped".
After being placed in the trunk of a red sedan of unknown make, Portman was transported to near the New Hampshire border. As the individual removed Portman from the trunk of their car and began applying bindings to her hands, she headbutted her attacker. Portman then sprinted southwards for .8 km, through uneven terrain, and came upon a member of the Massachusetts State Police, who escorted her to safety.
Upon arrival at a nearby hospital, Portman was found to be physically well, but had several spider bites upon her person, as well as a dead spider of the Latrodectus genus in their hair, which they could not account for.
In May 2010, following the commencement of the SCP-3256 killing season, Special Agent Stella Abbey made contact with Portman, who had since moved to Minnesota.

Agent Abbey: Okay, beginning recording. It is 4:00 in the afternoon on Tuesday, May 18th. I am in the ass-end of Nowhere, Minnesota, and the nearest airport is over the Canadian border. Portman really doesn't want to be found.
She's coming out of her house. (Sounds of rustling and rummaging, and the car door opening and shutting) Excuse me, Miss Portman? Special Agent Stella Abbey, FBI. I—
Portman: Have you caught him?
Abbey: Pardon?
Portman: Did you catch the son of a bitch who stuck me in the back of his car? The one who was going to [REDACTED] me?
Abbey: Uh. No, but that's what I'm here to—
Portman: Go fuck yourself.
Abbey: Miss Portman, please, we have new details in the case and would appreciate your cooperation—
Portman: Am I under arrest?
Abbey: Um. No?
Portman: If I'm not under arrest, then I don't have to tell you anything. Now move your fucking car. (Sneezes loudly) I'm going to the damn doctor. Move.
Abbey: But—
Portman: Either arrest me or move.
Abbey: [Sighs] Fine. One sec.
[Abbey is heard moving back into her car, pausing briefly to turn on the car.]
Abbey: Wish my fucking camera worked. But… just like to state for the record? Portman's rooting around in her nose. I'm blown, but I'm going to advise the local PD to put a tail on her.
I know that it's not supposed to affect women, but… something's not right here. My car's out of her driveway.
[Extraneous recording regarding Abbey contacting the nearest police department to tail Portman's vehicle have been excised.]
Abbey: Okay. God, I miss working Usher.10 So much easier to deal with abnormies than normies.
I don't have probable cause, so legally, I can't break in. But, I can do other things. [Abbey exits the car again.] It's trash day, so I'm gonna go through the cans. Hold on.
[The next several minutes are composed of sounds of grunting and rustling plastic as Abbey searches through trash cans. The sounds pause, and rapid footsteps are heard, followed by Abbey returning to her vehicle.]
Abbey: Okay, so. Uh. Portman looked sick, going to the doctor. I found some tissues in her trash can. I-I bagged some and they are all filled with spiderwebs what the fuck.

Postscript: Abbey returned to WEBCUTTER headquarters without incident, bearing the tissues as evidence. Tissues were found to contain large amounts of spider silk, with traces of human mucous.
Melissa Portman's vehicle was found abandoned 16km away from her house. Portman herself was found a week later, having suffocated on spider silk. An autopsy concluded that Portman's death was a suicide.

Excerpt from Audio Diary of Edgar Park:

Park: It's Friday, May 21st, 2010. This is my forty-fourth entry in this diary.
We're pretty fucking spooked. One of the Foundation's guys, Bloom, has been analyzing the meme more carefully. She's taken care, considering that… well, considering Portman somehow got canned by it. Christ.
Sole survivor of the whole thing, and she… fucking kills herself with goddamn spider silk! How?! How does that even work? She was sneezing the shit, too. Like. What.
We found out that Portman… her neighborhood was pretty abandoned. Everyone moved away because. Well, animals kept vanishing— cats, dogs, rabbits. There were telephone poles there painted with staples from all of the missing animal posters that went up over the past few years.
They're going to do their autopsy tomorrow. This whole thing is freaky, and the tox screen they did— she was full of [REDACTED]. I looked that up, and there's none of those in the US! How?!
I. I can't. Park out.

Autopsy Report of Melissa Portman:

Deceased: Melissa Portman DOB: 3/21/1979 DOD: 5/5/2010
Address: [REDACTED] State: MN Zip: [REDACTED] Age: 31 Sex: F
Race: Caucasian
Height: 162cm Weight: 122kg Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Blue Build: Obese
Scars and Amputations: N/A
Description of Decedent's Clothing: Red long-sleeved T-Shirt, blood and mucus stains on right cuff; blue denim jeans, size 45; undergarments [REDACTED].
Manner: Suicide
Cause: Suffocation by introduction of [REDACTED] to trachea. Envenomation.

Dr. Adler: Run it again.
Dr. Scott: I ran the tox screen through three different labs.
Dr. Adler: Well, run them through the lab we have here! Their system is saturated with [REDACTED], which is completely fucking impossible— she's never been to Australia, and that [REDACTED] isn't in any zoo or pet shop in Minnesota.
Dr. Scott: Maybe it's something else? Like— hold on. Open the inside of her mouth.
Dr. Adler: We've already inspected her— what are you doing?
[At this point, Dr. Scott is heard straining as she attempts to pull out Portman's left upper cuspid. It comes loose, and Dr. Scott brings it underneath a microscope to analyze it.]
Dr. Adler: What are you doing?
Dr Scott: Come over here and look at this. Does that look like human dental structure to you? Does it even look like a tooth?
Dr. Adler: My god, what the hell? [Dr. Adler pauses] It looks… no, it can't be.
Dr. Scott: It fits. The M.O., the presence of [REDACTED] at the crime scenes and in the bodies, and all of the weird shit that's happened with both this body and Planter's. I— I think that she's just more complete than him and Kingsmith. I think that whatever this meme is imprints the biology of a [REDACTED] onto a human, and…
Dr. Adler: And rewrites the body? The DNA is conclusively human, for both her and Planter. But…. it does make sense, to a degree.
[There is a long pause on the recording. Dr. Scott, at this point, had turned around to face the body of Melissa Portman. She screams.]
Dr. Adler: What— oh Jesus Fucking Christ!
Dr. Scott: What the fuck! What the fuck!
Dr. Adler: Run for it. Take the tooth!
[Dr. Adler takes the recording apparatus with him, and flees alongside Dr. Scott. After the autopsy lab is sealed, there is a minute of silence, before Dr. Scott speaks.]
Dr. Scott: Please tell me you saw that. The body was…
Dr. Adler: Made of spiders.

Closing Statement: Testing of the tooth removed from Portman's mouth has determined that it was not a tooth; rather, it was the chelicera and fang of an unknown, very large spider of the Atrax genus coated in a layer of webbing resembling enamel.
Following this, the remains of Melissa Portman and Linus Planter were both inspected; their cadavers, while retaining a humanoid shape, were found to be composed almost entirely of body parts and webbing from spiders from the Atrax and Latrodectus genus, respectively. This detail escaped both visual observation and electronic recording devices, suggesting that the SCP-3256 meme may be ontokinetic in nature.
It is currently unknown if this phenomenon extends to the bodies of victims of either SCP-3256-A or SCP-3256-B instances. As of June 2011, none of the victims' remains are accounted for.

Footnotes
1. Tricophagia and mucophagia are, respectively, compulsive disorders relating to the consumption of hair and nasal mucus.
2. A pathological fear of insects.
3. All listed episodes have been removed from circulation due to acting as a vector for SCP-3256.
4. John E. Douglas, b. 1945, was one of the first criminal profilers at the FBI.
5. The UNABOM task force was responsible for the investigation into bombings at American universities and airports carried out by Theodore Kaczynski between 1978 and 1995.
6. Dennis Rader, the "BTK Strangler", was a serial killer active from 1974 to 1991, named for his practice of "Bind, Torture, Kill".
7. Dennis Rader was eventually arrested following the discovery of metadata on a floppy disk he sent to police. He is currently serving 10 consecutive life sentences.
8. Colloquialism referring to the Unusual Incidents Unit's British equivalent, The British Occult Service, or MI666.
9. A muscle relaxant used in lethal injections in the United States.
10. Refers to Usher House, an Autonomous Extradimensional State with entrances in Baltimore, Maryland, Providence, Rhode Island, and Bangor, Maine, population 4,481. Possesses a large subculture of horror writers.

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