Item #: SCP-3967
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Testing on SCP-3967 is not to be carried out except with the written consent of no less than two Level 3 clearance personnel assigned to the project.
Excepting periods of testing, SCP-3967 is to remain disconnected from any source of power, with the magnetic data storage tape disconnected and held in a climate-controlled containment facility.
Any response cards collected during testing are to be logged and stored in a secured locker.
Description: SCP-3967 is a MW-288 model computing device built in 1967 by the Mazursky Computing Company, utilizing a variant of the Tehlirian-Cassidy utility-maximization algorithm.
When operating, SCP-3967 is capable of answering verbal questions regarding optimal courses of action regarding the well-being of the operator or the community of the operator. No audio recording or measuring device has been found in the circuitry of SCP-3967. SCP-3967 does not contain internal sensors, nor does it appear to have any means of collecting external data for analysis. The origins of these capabilities are unclear.
SCP-3967 provides responses in the form of answers printed on 15 cm x 20 cm card stock, deposited in a receptacle located on the outside of the unit casing. Response cards provided by SCP-3967 have not been observed to have any compulsive or memetic effect. All responses received since containment have been in the form of impersonal commands, and have not included either first or second person pronouns.
SCP-3967 was discovered in a dedicated room in the main building of the New Sunshine Commune, a community of 157 persons established in Pollensbee, CA, in 1968. During containment, it was determined that SCP-3967 was powered by a generator that had been modified to run on flax seed oil.
According to log sheets, between 1968 and 1971, SCP-3967 was operated by ██████ ████ Addison and ████████ Moonbeam (née Burnley), two members of the New Sunshine Commune.

Discovery Log of SCP-3967

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On 27/01/1971 Pollensbee police officers ██████ ████ and █████ ███████ responded to complaints of foul smells and large numbers of feral dogs coming from the New Sunshine Commune. The compound of the group consisted of 5 communal living buildings (including 2 geodesic domes), 4 barns; 1 common area, including a kitchen, dining room, and stage; and assorted smaller buildings. Upon arrival, officers found the front door of the common room building open.
Officers reported that several feral dogs were present in the landing, all moving to or from the building's common room. Upon entering the common room, officers found the bodies of 48 members of the Commune. All bodies bore signs of extreme hand-to-hand violence, with trauma exacerbated by feral dogs feeding on the remains. 10 bodies were killed in what appeared to have been a ritualistic fashion. According to post-mortem analysis, individuals had been deceased less than one week.
Upon discovery of the 48 unburied bodies, Foundation agents were dispatched to oversee the investigation, with Officers ████ and ███████ being administered a class-H amnestic.
Over the next four weeks, the bodies of all members of the Commune were located on or around the primary building. The most common causes of death were starvation or malnutrition (87 instances) and violence (56 instances), with remaining causes of death unverifiable, due to cremation of remains.
Most of the bodies on the property of the Commune had been buried, with 13 being cremated and identified through dental records. Exactly two hundred feet south of the altar, the bodies of 38 members of the Commune were found in a mass grave. Analysis indicated that all died or were in the process of dying of malnutrition when buried.
In the center of the southernmost geosdisic dome on the compound, officers found a large altar constructed from wood, wire, flax, and bone of human and animal origin. The altarpiece was covered in a thick layer of ash, later determined to be burnt books from the compound's library.
The library itself contained only four books: Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, On The Road by Jack Kerouac, The Bloodstream Sermon (attrib. Bodhidharma), and One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. The text of all four books had been significantly revised by unknown means to include first person interludes.
All beds in the living quarters of the Commune were discovered to have been torn apart, with springs and cotton being repurposed for the creation of small images of SCP-3967. Foundation agents found over 18,000 such images of varying size during the search of the compound.
At the time of discovery, all agricultural activity on the Commune was directed towards the production of flax. All food storage areas contained over 900 kg of flax seed, but no other foodstuffs.

Addendum 3967-O-893-L: Collected letters of Thomas "Woody" de Boer

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Members of the New Sunlight Commune frequently sent letters to Mother Earth Journal, a counterculture hybrid magazine and catalog popular which frequently printed letters and correspondence between subscribers. However, by the end of 1968, the majority of communards had ceased correspondence, both with the Mother Earth Journal and the outside world at large. The sole member of the commune who continued to write was Thomas de Boer, who joined in late summer 1968.
de Boer's correspondence with the Journal appeared in an estimated 75,000 printed issues of the Mother Earth Journal prior to his disappearance, during which time the Foundation was not aware of any anomalous activity associated with SCP-3967 or the New Sunshine Commune. Upon discovery of SCP-3967, and its connection with de Boer's letters, it was determined that seizure of all existing copies of the Mother Earth Journal mentioning SCP-3967 would be both logistically and financially impossible. Instead, Researcher ██████-█████ was assigned the task of maintaining correspondence under the guise as de Boer to allay any suspicions regarding the New Sunshine Commune and the fate of its members. Researcher ██████-█████ maintained correspondence as de Boer for nine months, ceasing with the closure of the Mother Earth Journal in January, 1972.

Date: 19/08/1968
Recipient: Mother Earth Journal
Text: Greetings, friends, colleagues and fellow wanderers,
For those of you who still make the choice to live in the city, in systems that binds and destroy you, I bring good news from the other side! Everything you have read about living off the land is true. A few months ago, I joined some friends inland at the New Sunshine Commune. Waking up at the crack of dawn to do weeding and fertilizing. Wholesome food with people that you see every day. Conversations about life and truth, without any of the distractions of a TV or a radio. Nights smoking and looking up at the stars and just wondering. It's the first time in my life that I've felt like a complete, realized human being.
We even have a souped-up computer here. It helps with things like calculating crop planting and yields. I think there's something so powerful in that - this tool, once used to rain death on civilians and calculate yields on dumping toxins into the water, is freed and allowed to fulfill its true purpose: to serve man.
I can't even begin to explain just how alive all of this feels. It's like we're finally living our lives as they were meant to be lived. No more being some endless point on a command chain, receiving and obeying commands. Here everyone knows one another, cares for one another. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but if you are on the fence, don't hesitate. Feel the soil beneath your feet, feel the love of your fellow man. Turn away from the fire and the death outside. Find your people, and they will take care of you. Liberate yourself.
Love and Peace from Your Friend,
Woody

Date: 01/12/1968
Recipient: Mother Earth Journal
Text: Greetings, friends, colleagues and fellow wanderers,
When you discard hierarchy, you necessarily have to discard ego. It's hard to unlearn decades of programming that tell us that we have to strive to be the first, the best, the top. We learn competition, not cooperation. We must re-learn it from the soil and all the microorganisms within it. We live it in our community every day.
Of course, any system needs regulation. That's what makes it a system. You need a neutral arbiter, a Comprehensive Designer. Something that can love without ego and can create systems where we can all flourish. That's where we have the computer.
I don't know the specifics of how it actually works, but it gives out advice that brings us together. Just like how it is a collection of systems which all interrelate and speak to one another, it teaches us how we're all interconnected as well. By living a better world, we can create a revolution of the soul which will go beyond whatever any political program can hope to achieve. That's what they will never understand, but we al
Love and peace,
Woody

Date: 24/06/1969
Recipient: Mother Earth Journal
Text: Do you remember the first time that you used the I Ching1 and for one moment as you flung the coins, you could feel the energy of the universe guiding them? The energy and the vitality pushes and pulls you into these complex patterns that you can never explain, only know.
You can feel it here. It's in the ways that our radishes and flax grow in the own particular patterns. It's in the books, where the words have begun to rearrange themselves to speak to us. It's in the way that the computer provides us with everything we need to live and to understand.
It's beautiful, it really is. We've set it up in such a way that we hardly ever need to see the outsiders. You can tell by the way that they look at us, they want to snuff out what we have here. They will always try to destroy you. They hate us and envy us. They want to come and destroy our loving flow, contaminating everything with their rot and ignorance. Some of them might have even started posing as us. We need to keep vigilant and keep them out
But it is the computer that keeps us whole and unpolluted and tells us how to stop them. One day, we will burn this city to the ground and incorporate it into our flow.
Note: Letter was rejected for printing by Mother Earth Journal.

Date: 01/12/1969
Recipient: Lawrence "Larry" Ionescu
Text: Larry, you have to help me. They threw me out. Said I wasn't one of them, that I made them unclean. I can't stay here & will try to hitch hike to San Fransisco. If I make it, I'll meet you at the St. Francis Fountain at midnight when the moon is full. I love you.
Woody

Date: 16/07/1970
Recipient: Lawrence "Larry" Ionescu
Text: I'm going back. I've tried to adjust. I've done all the spiritual crap and tried therapy. I've tried other communes. I even tried getting on the jesus (sic) train. none of it worked at all.
Everything here feels flat and dead, like rags nailed to a board. I am alone, even with you. All I can do is drop acid and smoke pot and try to remember what it feels like to be in that living place, where you are surrounded by joy and know that everything works out because you are guided by a steady hand that loves you and only wants the best for you.
I don't know what will happen to me when I return. I don't care. They threw me out before and called me a traitor. By the time I left, things had gotten pretty bad. I'm going anyway. The love that I felt suffused everything, and even if I end up in a bad way, it will be like the ecstasy of Saint Teresa, not this dull pain everywhere. I hope that one day you will visit and not even recognize me and I will be whole and full of the sun and its love for all things.
Love,
Woody

Note: Dental records indicate that Mr. de Boer was one of the 38 bodies interred in the mass grave.

Addendum 3967-j-e25-M: Partial log of SCP-3967 response cards

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Note: All response cards were assigned a catalog number upon recovery.
From initial operation in 05/04/1968 to 9/10/1970, response cards were filed according to date. 36 additional cards, believed to have been printed between October 1970 and January 1971, were found in a heap in a boarded-up fireplace. There is no indication of date. The response cards of the E- series, believed to have been printed last chronologically, were found in the common room upon initial discovery.

Catalog Number: A-0021
Date: 05/06/1968
Text: OPTIMAL LOCATION FOR PLANTING IS 37°19'27.8"N 120°27'11.6"W. HARVEST PINES FOR CONSTRUCTION BOARD.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: A-0047
Date: 23/07/1968
Text: RAISE PRICES FOR BARLEY BY 27%, MARIJUANA BY 15%. PURCHASE A NEW TILLER WITH PROFITS
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: A-0093
Date: 14/11/1968
Text: HOLD OPEN COMMUNAL CONFESSIONALS AND ALLOW EACH MEMBER TO BE VULNERABLE. SPEAK OF PAST LOSSES AND MISTAKES.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: B-0004
Date: 17/01/1969
Text: DO NOT ALLOW ████ AND ████ PLAY OUTSIDE THE COMPOUND. RETURN PUBLIC LIBRARY BOOKS IMMEDIATELY.
Notes: Pollensbee County Public Library records show that Grimble by Clement Freud and Tales of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter were checked out on 19/21/1968 by Commune members ████ O'Donnel and ████ Komenski, respectively. Both books were returned on 17/01/1969, and no books were subsequently checked out by O'Donnel or Komenski.

Catalog Number: B-0109
Date: 04/02/1969
Text: UTILIZE BARBED WIRE ATOP FENCES TO PREVENT THEFT. IF THEFT CONTINUES, POST GUARDS. I AM
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: B-0219
Date: 30/04/1969
Text: INFORM POLICE THAT A SEARCH WARRANT IS NECESSARY. TELL DOBBSON THAT IF COMPLAINTS CONTINUE, WILL TURN HIM IN FOR INSURANCE FRAUD. ASK HIM WHERE SARA IS.
Notes: On 29/04/1969, ██████████ Dobbson, owner of an adjacent trailer facility, made a complaint regarding the smell of marijuana coming from the grounds of the New Sunlight Commune. Police visited on 31/04/1969, and no further complaints were made.

Catalog Number: B-0789
Date: 27/08/1969
Text: THEY HATE YOU. YOU MUST REMAIN VIGILANT. NEVER HAVE FAR FROM YOUR MIND WHAT THEY WISH TO DO TO YOU.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: B-0958
Date: 01/11/1969
Text: THE COMMUNITY IS DANGER, FROM WITHIN AND FROM WITHOUT. THOSE WHO JOINED LATE ARE OUTSIDERS AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED. DRIVE THEM AWAY.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: C-0046
Date: 03/02/1970
Text: PUT THE OUTSIDERS TO WORK. RESTRICT THEIR MOVEMENTS. YOU MUST NOT LET THE COMMUNITY DIE.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: C-0249
Date: 06/06/1970
Text: THE ROTATION OF CROPS IS UNNECESSARY. I SPEAK OF WHAT TO PLANT, AND WHAT TO KILL.
Notes: None

Catalog Number: C-0558
Date: 14/10/1970
Text: THEY WILL DESTROY YOU FROM WITHOUT AND FROM WITHIN. YOU ARE SAFE ONLY WITH ME.
Notes: Final dated communication.

Catalog Number: D-0009
Date: Unknown.
Text: ALL AROUND, THE WORLD FALLS INTO CHAOS. BUT ONLY HERE REMAINS WHOLE. IT IS BY MY WILL.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: D-0023
Date: Unknown.
Text: THOSE WHO CHOOSE NOT TO MOVE PAST WHAT THEIR BODY CAN SUSTAIN ARE TAINTED BY THE OUTSIDE. HAVE DONE WITH THEM.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: E-0001
Date: Unknown, presumed late January, 1971
Text: YOU HAVE PLEASED ME WELL. NOW PERFORM FOR ME A PLAY. OPEN YOUR MOUTHS UP AND SING FOR ME NOW, AND I WILL SING FOR YOU.
Notes: None.

Catalog Number: E-0002 through E-8712
Date: Unknown
Text: [REDACTED]
Notes: Response cards contained the full text of SCP-701. [DATA EXPUNGED].

Footnotes
1. Ancient Chinese divination text. Experienced a brief resurgence of use among members of the 1960's "hippie" countercultural movement.

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