F*ck Off Carl

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT AND HE THOUGHT NO ONE WAS WATCHING.
My third contest entry. Hope it does well.
Image Credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mirounga_leonina.jpg

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F.A.Q.

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by Doctor Cimmerian

A testing attempt involving a wild southern elephant seal. Subject vocalized "Fuck off, Carl!" prior to SCP-3213 being removed from the area.

Item #: SCP-3213
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3213 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell on floor 20 of Site-88. Under no circumstances is SCP-3213 to be allowed unsupervised interaction with any member of any pinniped species (pinniped families include, but are not limited to, walruses, seals, and sea lions). Testing of SCP-3213's effects is to take place in the aquatic facilities on floor 21 of Site-88.
Description: SCP-3213 is a 44-year-old human male named Carl Prosser. When SCP-3213 is in the direct line of sight of any member of any pinniped species, the animal will become sapient and capable of vocalization. SCP-3213-affected animals will then utilize this capability to direct verbal abuse towards SCP-3213.
Affected animals appear to possess individual personalities and behaviors, though all share a common dislike of SCP-3213. Affected animals either do not comprehend, or do not care to respond, to any verbal requests from individuals who are not SCP-3213. Repeated interactions between SCP-3213 and affected animals has yielded no verifiable information relating to the cause of the anomaly.
When in the presence of pinnipeds, SCP-3213 is under constant danger of physical attack. Affected animals will attempt to inflict as much physical pain as possible on SCP-3213, although multiple tests in controlled settings have revealed that these attacks will cease if SCP-3213's life is in danger. All attacking animals will continue direct verbal abuse towards SCP-3213 until removed from SCP-3213's presence.
SCP-3213-affected animals do not appear to retain their sapience or ability to vocalize once out of direct line of sight of SCP-3213. Examination of live, actively affected specimens has been unsuccessful due to their aggression. SCP-3213 has, however, been cooperative in continued testing of the anomaly.

Test 3:
Purpose: Visual demonstration of described anomaly.
Date: 10/30/17
Method: SCP-3213 was given a video camera and told to enter a room with a tank housing two adult earless seals.
Results: A relatively docile interaction occurred during this test. This is believed to have been an attempt to make SCP-3213 feel safe. Two separate attempts were made to physically drag SCP-3213 into the water six seconds after SCP-3213 turned his back on the seals.

Test 5:
Purpose: Attempts by Dr. Paul Clifford to communicate with affected animals while SCP-3213 was present.
Date: 11/08/17
Method: SCP-3213 directed to enter a room with a tank housing two earless seals. Dr. Clifford was already present.
Interaction Log:
Seal 1: Go fuck yourself, Carl!
Seal 2: Yeah, go fuck yourself. Long and hard, you fucking bastard.
Dr. Clifford: Excuse me, can you understand me?
Seal 2: Carl, how's it feel to know that even though you're going bald, you'll never get any uglier?
Dr. Clifford: Can you hear me?
Seal 1: What's the matter, Carl? Too much of a pussy to answer us?

Test 16:
Purpose: Attempts to glean more of the reason for the anomaly's existence.
Date: 1/24/18
Method: SCP-3213 directed to enter a room with a tank housing two earless seals and to inquire as to the reason behind the anomalous behavior.
Interaction Log:
Seal 1: Should've figured you'd come back, bet you like the taste of shit.Seal 2: Oh ho! This piece of shit wants to know what he did.
Seal 1: You fucking know what you did, Carl.Seal 2: You're a fucking asshole. We fucking remember 'cause we saw you do that shit, Carl.
Seal 1: You got all these people fooled. You thought just 'cause it was dark and raining on the beach that night, no one was gonna see what you did?Seal 2: Coming back to you now, ain't it, asshole. Why don't you jump in here and I'll give you a taste of how it felt.
Seal 1: Don't worry, we won't kill you. Promise.Seal 2: 'cause then we couldn't hurt you any more, Carl.

Following this interaction, SCP-3213 refused to elaborate on the incident described by the affected animals. It is also unknown why all members of pinniped species are aware of this triggering incident.
Investigation into SCP-3213's past has turned up nothing matching the described details. SCP-3213 testing is currently suspended, and daily interviews are scheduled to determine what events caused this anomaly.

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