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REVISED ON: 13 Mar 19
EDIT COMMENT: Revised containment procedures with updated information. Updated description with most relevant example. Added addendum with last known observational data.
Changes from revision 029 have been marked in blue.

SCP-3445

Item #: SCP-3445
Object Class: Safe Uncontained
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3445 is contained on-site at Peak Cemetery by a 24/7 guard duty disguised as local groundskeepers; an auxiliary Site, Site 321/A, has been established nearby for research purposes. A storage shed has been constructed around SCP-3445 to perform tests without exposing it to public viewing. Unauthorized persons approaching SCP-3445 will be administered amnestics and redirected elsewhere. Identification of subjects described in SCP-3445-A instances is ongoing.
The status of SCP-3445 is currently unknown. Containment personnel are presumed deceased.
Description: SCP-3445 is an unmarked Christian gravestone measuring approximately two meters tall located in Peak Cemetery, near Aurora, Colorado. Study of its material corrosion over time indicates it was first constructed some time in the late 1930s or early 1940s. SCP-3445 has an "S" symbol superficially resembling a dollar sign carved into its center.
When any $1 or $5 US bill is placed in one of the four openings in the top of SCP-3445, the currency will immediately vanish from its location and is subsequently replaced by a small notecard measuring 76.2 by 127.0 mm1 in the same spot five minutes later (hereafter SCP-3445-A). SCP-3445-A instances are brief commentaries on a recently deceased person, always using the following format:

Reason for Demise: This section contains a cryptic statement from which the subject's cause of death can usually be inferred, depending on the context given in the rest of a 3445-A instance.
Preparations: Predictions are given for memorial and/or funeral services for the deceased. Subsequent research into 3445-A instances conclusively matched with real persons revealed that predictions are usually in line with the subject's personal religious beliefs (or lack thereof) during life and match actual memorial events.
Commentary: Trends leading to increased deaths in society are briefly discussed in the first person, usually attempting to tie in the identity of the subject with the cause of death discussed. The identity of the person or entity speaking in 3445-A instances is currently unknown.

Example of SCP-3445-A instance, 23 Sep 2012 (transcript): [Foundation commentary in brackets]

Reason for Demise: Having too much fun at a party, and not slowing down. [Later identified as Greg Jones, a 22 year old college senior from Southern Illinois University-Edwardsville who died from alcohol intoxication while attending an off-campus party]
Preparations: A field of grieving scholars and forlorn music. A casket with a clean look for the ceremony, and ritual incineration afterwards. A simple memory, with future fate unknown. [A memorial service was held for Jones in the campus' football field, and his body was cremated. Last line possibly referencing non-religious status of subject.]
Commentary: I'm MADD about the frequency of this. If it doesn't happen in cars, it happens in dorm rooms. [The spelling and capitalization of MADD is likely a reference to Mothers Against Drunk Driving, a non-profit American organization that advocates for stricter drunk driving laws]

Example of SCP-3445-A instance, 24 Dec 2018 (transcript)

Reason for Demise: Heeding to peer pressure and a false warning. [Identity unverified, location/incident verified]
Preparations: A desperate cry of sympathy and a demand for answers. A funeral procession held on national television. A sense that something is wrong that will make it so. [SCP identification verified]
Commentary: They were the first, but I suspect they will not be the last. In fact, I suspect you may be next. When their inevitable conviction meets your uncertain mind, there is only one certain outcome. [First recorded 3445-A instance directly addressing reader]

The person discussed within an SCP-3445-A instance is not named and is usually difficult to identify because of the lack of specific information about them and the apparently random location of a given subject - subjects have been identified in locations ranging from central Colorado to China. However, analysis of the "Commentary" section combined with the cultural descriptions in the "Preparations" section has lead to a small number of identifications of 3445-A described individuals. On the few occasions where an individual has been identified prior to burial or cremation, attempts to intervene to prevent the predictions made in the "Preparations" section from occurring result in local space-time being anomalously altered until the conditions of the funeral service and/or other burial preparations are met.
Addendum 3445.A: On 12 Mar 2019, an automated Emergency Containment Information message was delivered to Area-055-A containing updated samples of 3445-A instances, recorded shortly before containment was abandoned on 20 Feb. These messages are noticeably shorter than previously recorded instances. O5-6 received and acknowledged the message, and has updated SCP-3445's file accordingly. The current status of SCP-3445 is unknown. All containment personnel are presumed deceased.

1 Feb 2019
Reason for Demise: Fear of the unknown.
Preparations: None, as their family succumbed to the same fear. It is hard to hold a funeral when everyone thinks the victim had the right idea.
Commentary: This is getting out of hand. Can none find the cure to this? For years they have died sensibly and reasonably, and now everyone has lost their minds.

14 Feb 2019
Reason for Demise: Love of the known, and fear of a delusion.
Preparations: Demolition as the corpses of the misguided are crushed under the concrete. Nobody wishes to use their resting place, because everyone is already very tired.
Commentary: There's nothing that can be done now. You had a job, and you failed it. Goodbye, victims of failure. I hope there is something waiting for you.

19 Feb 2019 [Last Known Message]
Reason for Demise: Same as everyone else.
Preparations: None.
Commentary: Well, it looks like I'm going out of business soon.

Footnotes
1. Referred to and measured as a "Three by five" (inch) notecard in the United States.

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