Item #: SCP-3802
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The entire known supply of SCP-3802 is contained in a secure container at Site-42 awaiting transport to Site-81. Testing of SCP-3802-Alpha has been suspended due to the consistency of its anomalous effect. Testing of SCP-3802-Beta has been suspended due to resource concerns and is pending approval before resuming.
Investigation into the parapharmacologist/PoI known as “dado” is ongoing.
Description: SCP-3802 is an anomalous, low-viscosity liquid with a pink coloration contained in a white plastic bottle. The bottle has been labeled "hare growth by dado" in black permanent marker.
SCP-3802's anomalous effect manifests in two fashions:
Alpha: When SCP-3802 is applied to the scalp of a bald child, a large tumor rapidly grows on the subject's scalp over the course of thirty seconds to one minute; this process is painless to the subject. This tumor takes the shape and size of an infant hare (genus: lepus), animates, grows fur, and separates from the subject.1 This separation has left no scarring in 100% of test cases. Upon dissection, it has been found that these hares are physically identical to non-anomalous hares, yet are shown to be genetically identical to their human host.
SCP-3802-A instances are strongly bonded with their host; they exhibit lavish affection and playfulness with their host and extreme duress when separated from them.
Beta: When SCP-3802 is applied to the scalp of a bald adult, multiple large tumors rapidly grow on various parts of the subject's body over the course of one hour; this process is extremely painful to the subject. These tumors take the shape and size of fully-grown Flemish Giant rabbits (genus: O. cuniculus domesticus), animate, grow fur, and separate from the subject.2 This separation completely removed the crown of the head as well as other separation points of the subject.3 Dissection and genetic testing results were identical to SCP-3802-A instances.
The SCP-3802-B instances are similarly bonded with their host; this is despite the fact that their host died during separation and without regard to their own cleanliness.
Instances of SCP-3802-A and SCP-3802-B both display anomalously rapid growth of fur, far beyond that of their non-anomalous counterparts.4 It is unknown if this effect was intentional.
Addendum SCP-3802.1: Discovery
SCP-3802 was discovered when Foundation agents monitoring local news sites came across the headline, "You Won't Believe What Hopped Out of This Boy's Head!" on the website of Minneapolis, MN news affiliate KARE.5 Foundation agents traveled to the hospital where the event was said to have occurred and found a ward full of children playing with hares. A parent demonstrated SCP-3802 in action on his child for the agents and described a nurse giving him the phone number that led him to order the bottle of SCP-3802. All present were amnesticized and all SCP-3802-A instances were removed from the scene. The nurse was not found.
Addendum SCP-3802.2: Transcription of Phone Call
Foundation agents were able to retrieve a recording of the phone call between the parent and dado.

[BEGIN LOG]
Phone ringing
Unknown Voice: Yes hello, you have reached dado, home of fine dado product and also eat-at-home restaurant. What are you to be needing today?
Parent: Ummm.. hi? I was given this number by-
Unknown Voice: Yes good, dado has many friends who get the people who need the products to the number that has the products from dado, what products from dado will you want to be needing?
Parent: Well, my daughter had cancer, and-
Unknown Voice: So you want dado to cure the cancer, I see what you are saying and although this will be very tricky for dado, dado is the cleverest thinker so I-
Parent: No, that's not what I'm saying, I know that's not possible. My daughter has already had her surgery and is going through chemo, and all of her hair has fallen out. She's being as strong as she can be, but she's only twelve, and I know how kids can be to a girl who's lost her hair.
Unknown Voice: Ah! You want dado to make the grow the hare, make her very smile instantly, yes?
Parent: Can you do it?
Unknown Voice: Of course can dado do it; you need to trust dado!
Parent: Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!
Unknown Voice: dado will send you Amazon Prime tomorrow, no need to pay, dado do this for you bone pro no.
Parent hangs up phone
Clattering sound
Unknown Voice: (slightly muffled) Single bottle for rush order, simple, mix the scale, the hare for the kid, and dado no need to worry because it not to be used on adults no way.
Phone cuts out
[END LOG]

Addendum SCP-3802.3: Related Extranormal Event
One week after recovery of SCP-3802, multiple billboards in the Minneapolis area were anomalously altered to include advertisements for the “hare club for kids by dado.” The agencies in charge of the billboards were unaware of the change and had no record of communication from dado.6

Footnotes
1. Instance is now known as SCP-3802-A.
2. Instances are now known as SCP-3802-B.
3. This was seen as cause to suspend further testing pending review.
4. Fur growth does parallel that of angora rabbits. (genus: Oryctolagus)
5. Disinformation Campaign Status: In Progress
6. Disinformation Campaign Status: In progress

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