The three variants of SCP-3238

Item #: SCP-3238
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3238 is to be contained at Site-19 in a standard anomalous object container. Foundation web-crawlers will scan all portions of the web for the phrases "dado juice" and "dado juice energy drink". Upon detection of either phrase, MTF Alpha-4 ("Pony Express") is to be deployed with the primary mission of containment of SCP-3238. Secondary mission protocols are to detain PoI "dado" for Foundation questioning. Testing of SCP-3238 is suspended at this time.
In the instance of an active incident involving SCP-3238, all civilian personnel are to be evacuated from the affected area. All survivors, witnesses, and emergency responders to an SCP-3238 incident are to be administered Class-C Amnestics and undergo false memory implantation.
Description: SCP-3238 is a collection of 132 aluminum canisters, each containing 236 ml of an unknown anomalous fluid. Each canister has the words "dado juice" written in black marker. There are three variations of SCP-3238, each denoted by a different image, also crudely drawn on the aluminum container in black marker: fire, an international radiation symbol, and a sphere with trailing motion lines. The fluid itself is iridescent red in color and displays the same viscosity as water.
When SCP-3238 is ingested by a human subject, one of three anomalous effects will occur to the subject, in relation to the symbol on the canister, shown on table 1A.
Table 1A- Anomalous Effects of SCP-3238

Symbol
Effect

Fire
Subject core body temperature begins to rise rapidly within 60 seconds following ingestion. After 2 minutes, subject's body starts rapidly releasing Oxy-dicyanoacetylene gas as if pressurized. The gas will then spontaneously ignite, burning at ~4,990 °C, in a 1 meter radius around the subject.

As the gas contains both fuel and oxidizer, it has proven extremely difficult to extinguish the resultant fire, even if completely submerged in water. The resultant cadaver continues to emit Oxy-dicyanoacetylene gas and burn for up to 5 days.

Radioactive
Subject begins to sweat excessively within 60 seconds of ingestion. Within 3 minutes, subject begins to emit electromagnetic radiation in the form of gamma rays, measured in excess of 800 roentgens/min. The subject will succumb to this exposure within no more than 5 minutes, displaying all symptoms of acute radiation poisoning.

Other living beings within a radius of 20 meters of the subject may absorb a lethal dosage of gamma rays within minutes. Within a radius up to 100 meters, other living beings may absorb lesser amounts of radiation, dependent upon range and time of exposure. The cadaver may emit fading amounts of radiation for up to 5 days.

Sphere in motion
Subject begins to become excessively nervous and jittery within 60 seconds of ingestion. Within 2 minutes, subject begins accelerating rapidly upwards, reaching a velocity of 11.186 km/s within 30 seconds. Subject will experience forces in excess of 50 G during the course of this acceleration.

Any objects impacted by subject will not stop or alter the course or speed of the subject. The outcome of any such collision is both the immediate liquefaction of the subject, and severe damage or destruction to the object. Subject will escape earth orbit and continue to accelerate away from Earth at a speed of ~11.186 km/s.

Nine instances of SCP-3238 were discovered following a suspected terrorist attack on the █████████ Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, 06/14/18. The remainder were recovered from the north Las Vegas Amazon Fuilfillment Center.
Addendum:
IRC Logs- Recovered 06/17/18
Foundation agents recovered a laptop from the 06/14/18 Las Vegas incident. The laptop was unusable, but the hard drive was recoverable using forensic software. On the hard drive, Foundation technical staff found IRC logs with evidence pertaining to SCP-3238.

<NickServ>: Password accepted - you are now recognized.
/join #dado
http://dadolaundryandtan.net/chat
Topic: sry caps key broke
Topic set by dado on Fri Jun 01 2018 10:12:34 GMT-0500 (Central Daylight Time)
<multizig>: Hello
<multizig>: uhhhh
<multizig>: helllooooooooo?
<dado>: hello yes this is dado
<multizig>: You're the guy that does the research chemicals, right?
<multizig>: You there?
<dado>: i do fine pharmaceutical and yes sry dado type slow
<multizig>: Cool, cool
<multizig>: So look, I need something special
<dado>: i am do very special for all clients
<multizig>: Awesome. I need something that will keep my energy up. Me and the boys are going to Vegas
<multizig>: Gonna paint the town red
<dado>: energy?
<multizig>: You know, like 5 hour energy. Or maybe something stronger? lol
<multizig>: Cause we want to party. I mean like out of this WORLD.
<dado>: i likes parties too but not wanting to poop in your party
<dado>: you want energy pill for a red town outer space party yes
<multizig>: Yeah, you know, coke or speed or uppers or something ;)
<multizig>: Just something really far out there
<dado>: what u think dado is
<multizig>: Huh?
<dado>: dado is not party supply store
<multizig>: What are you talking about? My boy MaliceAF said you're the best there is
<dado>: dado is fine parapharmaceutical
<dado>: medicine for hare grow and also medicine for what make people old and horny
<dado>: not fine pararecreational
<multizig>: Ok fine man sorry
<dado>: dado energy pill not a fun time toy for ur space party
<dado>: dado energy pill srs business
<multizig>: Dude. Okay. Sorry I asked
<dado>: wait dado can still help
<dado>: wat u need i can get u
<dado>: is not pharmaceutical tho
<multizig>: Ok, what is it.
<dado>: dado juice energy drink
<multizig>: LOL dude what the fuck.
<multizig>: Are you serious right now bro?
<multizig>: Helloooo??
<dado>: u need to trust dado
<dado>: u want energy, i give you best energy drink there is
<dado>: dado has been want to break out of market for energy drink
<dado>: expand dado brand
<multizig>: Energy drink, huh? Like Red Bull?
<dado>: yes dado juice best energy drink
<dado>: three flavors u have energy for days
<dado>: all natural energy
<dado>: no red cows no wings
<multizig>: You're serious.
<dado>: i send to u free i have amazon prime
<dado>: if u no like dado juice then i refund u
<multizig>: Dude. Cool.
<multizig>: If it works, that is
<multizig>: Cause we want to burn this mother DOWN
<dado>: yes and u will like there will be much rad and burning
<multizig>: I guess MaliceAF was right, you're cool
<dado>: yes dado help famalice and dado help you to manyzag, dado is the cleverest thinker
<multizig>: Sweet. Thanks

Amazon Prime Page- 6/18/18
Foundation web-crawlers discovered the existence of an Amazon item that fit the description of SCP-3238. This led to the mobilization of MTF Alpha-4 to the north Las Vegas Amazon Fulfillment Center. The operation led to the successful seizure and containment of 17 instances of SCP-3238, and the interception of 112 more instances that were en route to potential victims. The item has since been removed from Amazon by the directive of [NAME REDACTED]. A copy of the item listing has been archived in the Foundation logs, seen below:

The product reviews are as follows:

1-Star- Would not order again.
Gave me tons of energy for my upper sept-tentacle workout, but had a horrid aftertaste. Nuke flavor made me crash a million times harder than I ever have before. 0/10, do not recommend for non-euclidean organisms.
Response from seller: yes this is dado i will issue full refund i always want to satisfy happy customers

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