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Item #: SCP-2800
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2800 is to be contained in a modified standard humanoid containment chamber that features a large sun lamp. SCP-2800's hero syndrome and dysthymia are to be regularly monitored by psychologists.
When possible, SCP-2800 is to be given menial tasks where it can assist others while under close supervision. It has been deemed by staff psychologists that allowing SCP-2800 to assist in these tasks has significantly improved its morale and general disposition.
Regular psychological counseling and monitoring for self harm is recommended for SCP-2800. SCP-2800 has also been placed on suicide watch.
Description: SCP-2800 is an anomalous male of Scottish descent, formerly known as Daniel MacIntyre, though SCP-2800 refers to itself as "Cactusman, the Spiked Menace." SCP-2800 measures 187 cm and 76 kg, and possesses brown hair and green eyes.
SCP-2800 possesses an expanded genome that contains DNA from the saguaro cactus. SCP-2800 also has many anomalous characteristics that are consistent with the natural physical properties of the Carnegiea gigantea plant, more commonly known as the saguaro cactus.
SCP-2800 has demonstrated the following anomalous capacities:

The anomalous capacity to instantaneously grow 2-3 cm spines from all surfaces of its body. The spines fall off naturally, though SCP-2800 can also voluntarily detach these spines.
The anomalous capacity to perform crassulacean acid metabolism photosynthesis. SCP-2800 can open pores on its body to function in a manner similar to stomata.
The anomalous capacity to use water in a hyper-efficient manner. SCP-2800 can subsist on roughly 1/3 the amount of water needed for an average male of its height and build. SCP-2800 produces roughly 1/5 the urea that a normal human of its height, build and diet would normally produce. It is currently hypothesized that SCP-2800 is able to store wastes such as ammonia in its body, in a manner similar to other plants. SCP-2800 is also capable of excreting waste through its pores, but describes this process as uncomfortable.
The anomalous capacity to tolerate above average temperatures and above average aridity. SCP-2800 possesses an extremely efficient cooling mechanism that prevents it from overheating easily. In addition, SCP-2800 has demonstrated its ability to prevent its skin from drying out.
Empathic connections with other members of the Cactaceae family. Through testing, it has been demonstrated that SCP-2800's metabolic rate increases significantly while it is communicating with cacti. Said cacti are noted to increase water and nutrient absorption from the soil they are planted in while SCP-2800 is communicating with them. SCP-2800 has been able to communicate with SCP-3388 without a cell phone and SCP-2497 without the standard light code.

SCP-2800 has been diagnosed with several mental disorders, including dysthymia (chronic depression), and hero syndrome. SCP-2800 expresses an extreme desire to assist others, and intervene in situations, even if it is incapable of rendering any form of assistance in such situations.
SCP-2800's inability to assist in many situations is believed to have been a cause of its dysthymia. SCP-2800 has expressed frustration in many cases due to its self-perceived inability to provide useful function to others, and has attempted self-harm in the past.
SCP-2800 was captured by the Foundation while the organization was attempting to track and contain a reality-bending SCP object that had breached containment. SCP-2800 was found attempting to assault the escaped SCP object, although this proved largely ineffective. After the containment breach was resolved, the Foundation convinced SCP-2800 to be contained.
SCP-2800 has been provided a number of potted cacti, after its request for them was approved by psychological staff, on the grounds of improving SCP-2800's morale.
Further crosstesting of SCP-2800 with other cactaceous anomalies — such as SCP-1277, SCP-1478 and SCP-822 — has been proposed and is currently pending approval.
Interview Log 2800-1:

Interviewer: Dr. Louef
Interviewee: SCP-2800
Dr. Louef: Morning, SCP-2800. How are you today?Dr. Louef: That's good to hear. On that subject, I'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind.Dr. Louef: How did you acquire your…abilities, and what were the circumstances surrounding your use of them, prior to your relocation to the Foundation?Dr. Louef: Was there any other motivation?Dr. Louef: And that led to your current status?Dr. Louef: What happened in your first mission?Dr. Louef: And what happened then?Dr. Louef: Can you elaborate?Dr. Louef: Of course. Can you describe the incident leading to your discovery?Dr. Louef: Now, about your abilities: You've demonstrated many of them, but the one that you haven't described is your empathic connection to other cacti.SCP-2800 presents two potted cacti.Dr. Louef: What do cacti talk about?Dr. Louef: Yes?Dr. Louef: No, I don't think so.
SCP-2800 looks disappointed.Dr. Louef: I'll be sure to let you know if something comes up that requires your talents.

Incident Report 2800-1: While searching surveillance camera footage in the places where SCP-2800 claimed to have lurked, surveillance camera footage from a late-night subway was found, involving SCP-2800. The following is a transcript of the event:

A woman and a child are seen waiting at a subway station. A man wearing a balaclava is seen to appear from behind a support pillar, and approach the pair while brandishing a knife.
The woman and child begin to back away, but are stopped by the wall behind them. The child clutches to the woman. The man gestures with the knife. The woman begins to open her purse.
SCP-2800 enters into view, behind the masked man. SCP-2800 proceeds to walk up to the masked man, and punch him in the lower back and chest. The man recoils in pain, and it is seen that SCP-2800 had left several spines in the masked man's back.
SCP-2800 proceeds to tie the man's hands. The woman is seen to shake SCP-2800's hand vigorously, and embrace him. SCP-2800 kneels on the ground. The child is seen to embrace SCP-2800. SCP-2800 appears to be emotional.
The woman makes a call. The child is seen to pull out a piece of paper, and write something on the paper. As SCP-2800 begins to walk away, the child calls it back. The child hands SCP-2800 the paper. SCP-2800 writes something on the paper, and hands it back to the child. Shortly after, police officers arrive on the scene.

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