SCP-2263-32

Item #: SCP-2263
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2263 is to be kept in standard safe object storage at Site-63 with the exception of SCP-2263-34, which is to be kept in highly explosive materials storage and SCP-2263-62, which is to be kept in radioactive materials storage. Due to potential as of yet undiscovered dangers, no experimentation is to be done on any instance of SCP-2263 without express permission from Site-63 administration.
Description: SCP-2263 is comprised of 62 anatomically accurate, identical sculptures of a human skeleton, all of which are made out of anomalous materials. Each skeleton measures 190 cm tall, and has a mass of 11 kg, regardless of composition. Each skeleton is held together with silver wire, and mounted on a 5 cm thick lithium carbide disk, with a radius of 0.3 meters. Every instance of SCP-2263 has a descriptive tag affixed to its third left rib. Each tag is written in Dutch, with the same handwriting. Below are a selection of individual instances of SCP-2263, with a translation of their respective tags.

Item Number
Composition
Text on Tag
Notes

SCP-2263-1
Non-Melting ice
managed to keep it chilled
Sculpture retains average temperature of -33.4 degrees celsius and should only be handled when wearing thermally insulated clothing

SCP-2263-2
Brass (37% zinc, 61% copper, 2% other contaminants)
delay is a bit off, do not touch
Temperature of object fluctuates rapidly between -270 and 60,000 degrees celsius, but temperature only extends to a range of 5 cm

SCP-2263-3
Purple polypropylene
keep out of the way
Object blinks in and out of existence at an interval of approximately 57 seconds

SCP-2263-7
Unknown, believed to be dark matter
very easy to lose
Object appears black, and does not emit or reflect any variety of electromagnetic radiation. Item determined to have a temperature of 0 K, but does not feel cold to the touch

SCP-2263-18
Unknown, best described as "the color blue"
not quite sure how I got this one to work, but glad it came out well
Object appears as a blue, two dimensional image of a skeleton matching the dimensions of other sculptures, which appears as the same image regardless of angle it is viewed at. SCP-2263-18 itself is intangible, but it is "constructed" on a stone platform, which exhibits no anomalous properties

SCP-2263-20
Technetium
Keep bolted down
Object does not emit radiation as would be expected of technetium, and shows no signs of atomic decay. Object is continuously pulled westward via an unknown force at exactly 2.23 kilometers per hour, can be easily stopped by any solid barrier

SCP-2263-22
SCP-148
This one is giving me headaches
Aside from the usual effects of telekill alloy, object hovers between 0.3 and 0.8 meters off the ground

SCP-2263-25
[REDACTED]
Honestly I am not sure how I did this one, keep a mule in the vicinity
[REDACTED]

SCP-2263-27
Graphene Aerogel
My personal favourite
Anomalously emits odors at an intensity most commonly described as “pleasant”. Notable odors include Jasmine, Agarwood, Amber, Fresh Apples, and Cooking Meat

SCP-2263-30
An organic chitinous material that most closely resembles ant exoskeleton
Keep away from open flame
Converts Carbon Dioxide, Carbon monoxide, Nitrogen gas, Argon gas, Methane, and Water Vapor into breathable Oxygen, without producing any excess waste matter or consuming or emitting any energy. Note: SCP-2263-30 has been approved for testing by the materials research and synthesis division

SCP-2263-32
Narwhal Ivory
This one was probably a mistake. Probably
Creates a rim-shot sound at the end of every sentence spoken within 7 meters of its skull. When “told” an actual joke, rim-shot is accompanied by a laugh track matched to an episode of the television program Hogan's Heroes

SCP-2263-34
Antimatter
about three years until anti-annihilation field stops working
Object seems to be made of antimatter equivalent of human bone, and should be kept in isolated underground storage until at least 10/17/20██

SCP-2263-51
Pine wood
careful not to knock this one into the sky, wont get it back
Object is not affected by gravity, but will remain in place, relative to the earth, wherever it is placed in three dimensional space

SCP-2263-55
Glass
turned it inside out, that did it
Object appears to posses a "negative volume" (i.e. when object is submerged in a tank of water, the water level will drop, but the object will not take on water)

SCP-2263-60
Rose quartz crystal
a little mixed media project
When struck, each bone of SCP-2263-60 will emit a distinct musical tone. Bones in the arms make sounds corresponding with woodwinds, the legs correspond with brass instruments, the ribs correspond to a xylophone, bones in the spine and skull correspond to drums, and the pelvic bone creates a low, unidentified, prolonged sound, the closest match for which is a didgeridoo

SCP-2263-62
Plutonium
Be careful with this one Jacob1
Object emits normal radiation given off by plutonium, but only at a range of 3 cm off of its surface. Object also emits a high pitched ringing noise and occasionally will begin rotating at approximately 30000 rpm for exactly 15 seconds

SCP-2263 was discovered in a warehouse in ███████, Ohio, which was registered to a Mister Johann ████. Upon research it has been discovered that no such person had ever lived in the town. The Foundation first became aware of SCP-2263 after local authorities investigated a break-in report and discovered SCP-2263's anomalous properties. Objects were recovered by Mobile Task Force Omicron-3 ("Spooky Scary") over the course of 13 hours. All 62 instances were successfully recovered, and MTF-O3 suffered two casualities, three instances of severe burns, one instance of hypothermia, one severed arm, and one instance of radiation poisoning.
At the warehouse in which SCP-2263 was recovered; a mattress, approximately 3 months worth of canned food and bottled water, and various sculptural tools were found, as well as 62 letters (one for each instance) written in Dutch and addressed to an individual named only as "Jacob", explaining how long each piece would take to complete, and how much it would cost to produce (each instance was always billed at exactly $543.21 USD). No explanation is ever given as to how an instance of SCP-2263 is created, or how materials are acquired. Only one reply was found at the scene, also in Dutch, addressed to the warehouse. See below for a transcript.

+ Document 2263-63

- Close

My dearest Johann, excellent work, I am very much anticipating the completion of the project. If all goes according to plan I will be in the states to personally pick them up very soon. I will have your money plus a little extra for your hard work. The likeness is astounding. Sincerely, Jacob

Footnotes
1. This individual's identity is not currently known, but is believed to be an associate of the creator of SCP-2263, as several letters addressed to a Jacob ██████, in Maastricht, The Netherlands were found at the site of SCP-2263's recovery. Upon investigation, no such person was found to exist.

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