Former habitat of multiple SCP-2734 instances. Immediate vicinity contained more than fifty SCP-2734 instances just two hours before Foundation agents arrived on the scene.

Item #: SCP-2734
Object Class: Neutralized Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All containment cells previously containing instances of SCP-2734 are to be examined for structural weaknesses. All personnel aware of or involved with the containment of SCP-2734 are to be investigated in regards to the events detailed in Addendum 2734-3. A full report of the investigations' findings will be provided to O5-9.
Former habitats of SCP-2734 are to receive light satellite scans once a month. Any signs of SCP-2734 resurgence must be reported to O5-9.

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All populations of SCP-2734 in the wild are to be constantly monitored via satellite. SCP-2734 populations must also receive regular surveillance from airborne drones. Foundation agents embedded in human populations close to SCP-2734 must keep watch for signs of SCP-2734 intrusion in human dwellings. Should instances of SCP-2734 approach or endanger human populations, Mobile Task Force Zeta-5 (“Shoo Out the Clowns”) are to be sent in to drive them back into unpopulated areas. Under no circumstances is lethal force to be used on SCP-2734 unless absolutely necessary.
Due to a partial information leak about SCP-2734, standard Disinformation Protocols must be applied. Falsified images, videos and stories about SCP-2734 must be spread online and through the wider media. Foundation-manufactured media must be obviously falsified to call doubt to SCP-2734's existence. Aforementioned media must also portray SCP-2734 as uniformly malicious, in order to discourage those who believe in SCP-2734's existence from seeking them out.
All instances of SCP-2734 contained in Foundation facilities must be held in standard humanoid containment cells. Additional privileges may be awarded for cooperation.

Description: SCP-2734 is a species of humanoid superficially resembling American culture's conception of a clown. Since January 2016, populations of SCP-2734 have sprung up all over the world, necessitating a global misinformation campaign. The majority of SCP-2734 sightings have taken place in the mainland USA and Canada. However, populations of SCP-2734 have been found in Western Europe, Australia, Central America and [DATA EXPUNGED].
Populations of SCP-2734 generally live as far away from human habitations as possible. SCP-2734 populations can comfortably exist in a wide variety of natural environments despite having little to no personal possessions aside from clothing. Despite urban legends, SCP-2734 is determined to avoid being seen, photographed or caught on video. The majority of images circulating through the media claiming to be SCP-2734 are in fact independent hoaxes or part of the Foundations' misinformation campaign.
In addition to resembling the Western ideal of a clown, members of SCP-2734 possess the following differences from Homo sapiens:

the ability to subsist on approximately 200 calories a day.
the ability to gain sustenance from nearly any organic matter. SCP-2734 instances have been shown to comfortably subsist on grass, leaves, flowers, roots, bark, tree sap, mushrooms, ferns, insects, and food waste from human garbage. SCP-2734 instances universally avoid consuming animal meat, although this is considered to be a cultural trait rather than a physical limitation. In times of scarcity, SCP-2734 instances have been known to eat small animals such as birds and rats; however, this appears to bring them a substantial amount of guilt.
flatter, stronger teeth; believed to assist with an herbivorous diet.
the ability to comfortably exist in nearly any climate. SCP-2734 has never shown any sign of being affected by climate-related maladies (e.g. hypothermia, heatstroke). Populations of SCP-2734 have been found in areas with temperatures above 45 °C and below -18 °C with no effect.
faster running speed. The average fully grown member of SCP-2734 can run at approximately 22 km/h. This ability is used primarily in evasion.

Outreach to SCP-2734 communities has been extremely difficult. SCP-2734 is determined to keep itself hidden; the first attempts at outreach have been met with great distrust and outright terror. Often a community of SCP-2734 will uproot itself and travel hundreds of kilometres after an attempt at communication from the Foundation. Eventually the Foundation was able to persuade one community to willingly hand over two members, (SCP-2734-1 and SCP-2734-2) into Foundation custody for purposes of mutual understanding. The Foundation has agreed to keep SCP-2734-1 and 2 in its care for only as long as they are comfortable, and to return them as soon as they request to do so.

+ Addendum 2734-1

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The following are excerpts from a journal kept by SCP-2734-1. These excepts were not voluntarily given, rather they were surreptitiously copied from his journal while he was being allowed out of his cell. SCP-2734-1 may have suspected these activities as he ceased updating the journal shortly after the Foundation began taking excerpts.

I hate this place. A clown's place is out in the arms of our Mother Earth, beneath every star in heaven. Here I get a concrete ceiling. They've painted it a nice soft yellow colour, but it's still a concrete ceiling. You can't replace the stars with concrete.

They always make sure to smile when they come to talk to me. I've never seen humans smile before. It's creepy. I don't like it.

One of the humans tried to interview me today. He looked just like HIM. That camp director. The one I left behind on my world. I went into hysterics. It took fifteen minutes for me just to stop sobbing.

The corridors and layout of [Site-16] look exactly like the Clown Processing Plants back home. But the staff, uniforms, and insignias are all different. I haven't seen much of this place, but I don't think it's as big as a Clown Processing Plant. I'm not sure there's any building on this planet that big. But I'll keep my eyes open, just in case.

Why is this world so different and yet so familiar? Same air. Same trees. Plenty of humans. But no clowns. Not anywhere. Just humans in whiteface.
Why are there no clowns? Did they never exist here? If they never existed, why do humans dress like them? Did the humans wipe them out? Were they forced to flee the planet like we were?
Did these people have anything to do with it?

I asked one of the staff members if I could give a performance to the staff. She said she'd pass a message to the Site Director, but they'd have to think about it. I'm so bored I'm actually considering performing for HUMANS.

I keep thinking back to my mother. I'm doing it more and more, as I'm slowly becoming convinced that they'll never let us out of this place. She's the whole reason I agreed to be their “guest”.
“Promise me you'll go with them”, she said. “If they come looking for us, at least you'll be safe”.
“Mother,” I said. “If they can find us in another plane of existence I doubt I'll be safe in an underground bunker or whatever they have in store.”
She didn't say anything. I just heard her sharp intake of breath as her nails dug deeper into my arms. I agreed because I never wanted to see her so scared again.

+ Addendum 2734-2

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The following text was written on a piece of stationary found crumpled up in a wastebasket inside SCP-2734-2's cell. It is believed that he may been trying to communicate with the Foundation through writing, being too distressed to discuss his background in person.

They made me mop the floors. The humans. They made me work sixteen hours a day. No breaks. I didn't complain. I didn't want to think about what they'd do to me if I complain. I might have be sent to [illegible]
I had not seen my family and friends in months. I also didn't want to think about where they were. I still don't. I tell myself they are okay. I keep mopping the floors. I don't complain.
I am not sure they need me to mop the floors. Don't they have drones for that? I don't know much about humans, except for how they cage us. Why do they make me mop the floors? I don't ask. I don't complain.
One day they make us lift barrels into a truck. Why don't they use a [illegible]? I don't ask. I just lift the barrels. Me and Gorn. The last few clowns left. The barrels were heavy. My back was aching so badly. But we loaded the barrels best we can. One of the last barrels, I slip. The barrel slips from my hands and falls on the ground. It makes a loud sound as it hits the ground, louder than it should have. The lid flew off. Litres and litres of green liquid pour out. Liquid and something else. Stench hits me hard. I feel like I am going to vomit. There is the green liquid, and also hundreds of tiny red balls. I recognize the green fluid. Some kind of preservative. It takes longer to recognize the red balls. I jumped down and picked one up. Then it hit me.
They were clown noses.
Hundred of clown noses. Sliced clean off our faces. When I turned it over, I could see the rotting meat inside. I looked behind me. I could see thirty other barrels in the truck.

The rest of the document is scribbled out.

+ Addendum 2734-3

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At approximately 7:00 am, on January 5th 2017, both SCP-2734-1 and SCP-2734-2 were found to be missing from their cells. No signs of how the disappearance occurred has been found, despite both cells being under 24 hour surveillance and a forensic examination being made of their cells. At the same time, all populations of SCP-2734 around the world spontaneously vanished from Foundation surveillance. Investigations are underway, but as of March 1st 2017, SCP-2734 is considered neutralized.

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