SCP-1799

Item #: SCP-1799
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1799 is to be contained in a soundproofed humanoid containment cell, with the other Misters in Hall 34-B of Site-55. Personnel entering SCP-1799's cell are to be fitted with a voice-canceling helmet to prevent communication with the subject.
Description: SCP-1799 is a male humanoid, approximately 1.2 m tall, weighing 58kg. It possesses physical characteristics of a generic clown, with skin devoid of pigmentation and a circular red nose, along with elongated feet. Its facial pigmentation has the appearance of makeup commonly worn by circus performers.
Attempts made by SCP-1799 to communicate verbally with humans will be interpreted by the individual(s) as a joke. The longer the subject continues speaking, the funnier the "jokes" will become, until the subject(s) are overcome by laughter. Due to this effect, it is extremely difficult to direct and interact with SCP-1799. The most effective means to communicate with the subject is through written word, as this does not activate its effect.
The words "Mr. Laugh, from Little Misters ® by Dr. Wondertainment" are tattooed upon SCP-1799's lower back.
ADDENDUM 1799-A: This note was found on SCP-1799's person during initial containment.

Wow! You've just found yourself your very own Little Mister, a limited edition collection from Dr. Wondertainment!
Find them all and become Mr. Collector!!
01. Mr. Chameleon
02. Mr. Headless
03. Mr. Laugh ✔
04. Mr. Forgetful
05. Mr. Shapey
06. Mr. Soap
07. Mr. Hungry
08. Mr. Brass
09. Mr. Hot
10. Ms. Sweetie
11. Mr. Life and Mr. Death
12. Mr. Fish
13. Mr. Moon
14. Mr. Redd (discontinued)
15. Mr. Money
16. Mr. Lost
17. Mr. Lie
18. Mr. Mad
19. Mr. Scary
20. Mr. Stripes

ADDENDUM 1799-B: The following is an interview log recorded on SCP-1799's arrival at Site-55.

+ Interview Log 1799-0

- Close log

Interviewed: SCP-1799
Interviewer: Dr. Everwood
Foreword: This interview was executed to confirm SCP-1799's anomalous properties.
<BEGIN LOG>
Everwood: Please state your name.Everwood: [Begins laughing] Seriously? That's hilarious.Everwood: [Continues to laugh] Man, you are a riot![Everwood begins to laugh hysterically, pounding a fist on the table]
[SCP-1799 frowns.]
<END LOG>

ADDENDUM 1799-C: The following is an interview log recorded a few days following SCP-1799's arrival at Site-55.

+ Interview Log 1799-2

- Close log

Interviewed: SCP-1799
Interviewer: Dr. Gears
Foreword: Dr. Everwood specially requested Dr. Gears assistance in interviewing SCP-1799 during his visit to Site-55. Dr. Gears was selected for his high memetic resistance values and low emotional response variability.
<BEGIN LOG>
Gears: Hello. My name is Doctor Gears.
[SCP-1799 remains silent.]
Gears: I was told you had difficulties in communicating due to your properties. Is this true?
[SCP-1799 is silent.]
Gears: I was also told that you dislike being laughed at. I do not intend to laugh at you.
[SCP-1799 is silent.]
Gears: I will not laugh at you, and if I do, I will exit the room swiftly, ending this interrogation with hopefully minimal discomfort caused to you.Gears: I don't intend on laughing. Not, at least, unless something humorous is said — which I don't believe has yet occurred.Gears: We could start with your name.
[SCP-1799 leans over the table and waves its hand in front of Dr. Gears' face, then sticks its tongue out at him.]
Gears: Have I triggered some sort of response from you? If not, I would appreciate it if you refrained from such gestures.[SCP-1799 sits on its chair again.]
Gears: I see. Now, your name, please?Gears: Charmed. Now, I was tasked with asking you a series of questions about yourself and Dr. Wondertainment. Is this acceptable?Gears: This is acceptable. I'll ask the first question, if that's okay with you.Gears: Are you aware of any reason Dr. Wondertainment would have had for creating you?Gears: I see. You may ask your question now.Gears: I've never been one for showing emotion. Not even as a child. My mother said I rarely ever cried, too. Not to say that I don't feel emotion. I just do not express myself well, I suppose.Gears: Now as for my next query; are you able to recall the process Dr. Wondertainment used to create you?Gears: It was many years ago when my daughter illustrated me. It was a humorous portrait, you see, for I was colored wildly incorrectly.Gears: Indeed. Do you know anything about the location of the other Little Misters?Gears: Unfortunately these answers are not of much use to myself and my employers.Gears: We agreed upon this. You may.Gears: I thought you didn't want to be laughed at.Gears: Perhaps. Perhaps not. It is difficult to say with certainty. I am inclined to answer no.Gears: Do you possess any knowledge on other Wondertainment products?Gears: I do not mean to imply that you are useless, if that is what you are suggesting. I am merely stating that these answers aren't of use to my employer. It is not a personal insult against you.Gears: I'd rather not discuss my daughter further. I find no joy in the topic.Gears: Let it suffice to say that she and I lost contact many years ago. The more time I spent at my job, the less I could spend with her. It is a tragic thing, but again, it happened many years ago.[There is a pause.]
Gears: No.
Gears: I would not call myself that. I am just a man doing his job.Gears: It is only my job. I just happen to excel at it. But we are losing focus. We must return to my questions.Gears: Do you possess any knowledge of the current whereabouts of Dr. Wondertainment?Gears: I see. Now your question?Gears: I would rather not discuss my daughter further. I find no joy in the matter.Gears: I never said I did not.Gears: Are you familiar with the trolley problem, Mr. Laugh?Gears: Correct. I was presented with my own trolley problem when I was offered my current job. As you can see, I made my own choice. Whether or not I regret it is irrelevant. What matters is that I made my choice, and I must now endure the consequences.Gears: The most difficult part of being a parent is knowing when you're no longer needed.Gears: Yes. She did require my presence. But she no longer does.Gears: That is not what I said.[There is a pause.]
Gears: It is far too late for me to do that. Things have been set in motion that I cannot change. I must accept the facts and move on. At any rate, I am afraid I no longer have any questions to ask you.Gears: Yes. Our time together has come to an end.Gears: I am sorry. I must go now.[Dr. Gears rises and collects his notepad, moving towards the door.][SCP-1799 stands and moves to block the door to the interrogation chamber.]Gears: Please move, Mr. Laugh.Gears: I will not hesitate to call the guards stationed outside this room if you do not acquiesce. Please move now.
[SCP-1799 moves out of the way and sits down in its chair again.]<END LOG>
Note: I'll be honest, I didn't think this would work the way it did. I just wanted to see the old man laugh for once, but he was actually able to talk to SCP-1799. Shame it wasn't able to provide any useful information. — Dr. Everwood

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