Item #: SCP-1647
Object Class: Extranormal Keter Neutralized Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due the nature of the anomaly, SCP-1647 cannot be physically contained. Mobile Task Force Epsilon-13 ("Substitute Teachers") is to track every report regarding anomalous behaviors of high school teachers from the Southern United States.
Each SCP-1647 event is to be suppressed from the media with Covering Protocols 109-Wainscott ("Damage by Vandals") and 183-Boston ("Stress Suicide"). Class B amnestics are to be administered to civilians witnessing an occurrence of SCP-1647. Individuals affected by SCP-1647 are to be temporarily contained in separate modified humanoid containment chambers until the dissipation of the said effects. The walls and the floor of these chambers are to be padded to prevent self-harm.
Class C amnestics are to be administered once the individuals recover from SCP-1647's effects.
Covering Protocol 170-Příbor ("Custody for Psychiatric Evaluation") is to be used prior the acquisition of affected individuals.
Update: As per 200█/██/██, SCP-1647 has been reclassified as Neutralized. No Special Containment Procedures are deemed necessary.
Update: As per 200█/██/██, SCP-1647 has been reclassified as Keter. Previous Special Containment Procedures are to be re-enacted.
Newly found instances of SCP-1647-A are to be deprived of their inner workings and contained in separate standard security safes in Site-15. Personnel with former teaching careers are to evacuate Site-15 until the instances of SCP-1647-A are deemed safe.
Description: SCP-1647 is an anomalous phenomenon affecting high school teachers in the Southern United States. Subjects affected by SCP-1647 display erratic and illogical behaviors, showing no apparent awareness nor concern for themselves and others. Affected individuals often perform nonsensical and random actions, such as attempting to climb the nearest building undressed or play "catch" with the school's furniture, often severely injuring themselves and/or other faculty members. At time of writing, no student has ever been harmed by the affected teachers.
Affected individuals will continue to display their anomalous behaviors for five (5) hours. The subjects claim to be aware of their actions, but are not able to reason during this condition. SCP-1647 seems to mostly occur during class works and important scholastic events. SCP-1647 has never occurred during school trips.
The first confirmed instance of SCP-1647 occurred on 199█/██/██ in the █████ High School, Louisiana, where it was initially identified as a single Extranormal Event, designated as ExE-3562. The following is the original report regarding ExE-3562.

Event Description: Every teacher of the █████ High School simultaneously displayed abnormal behaviors during and after a standardized Math test for exactly 5 hours. Students and other faculty members report various teachers licking blackboards and the Physical Education teacher throwing a urinal from the building's roof, resulting in the injury of █ faculty members.
Date of Occurrence: 199█/██/██
Location: █████ High School, █████, Louisiana.
Follow-up Actions Taken: Local media suppressed. Injured individuals treated on-site. Class B amnestics administered to students and faculty members. Cover-up story regarding vandalism enacted.

Following this event, SCP-1647 has occurred ███ times. SCP-1647 has been classified Keter as of 199█/██/██.
Addendum 1647-1: Incident 1647-Alpha.
On 200█/██/██, an SCP-1647 event occurred in the █████ ████ High School in █████, Kentucky. After the containment of affected individuals and the administration of amnestics, Foundation agents found a small luminescent sphere suspended three (3) meters from the ground within the school's boiler room. The item was later identified as the source of SCP-1647, and referred to as SCP-1647-A. Why it has never been found in other areas under SCP-1647's effect is unknown.
SCP-1647-A was transported to Site-15, where it underwent an operation of reversed engineering. SCP-1647-A was proved to be entirely composed of metal, with its inner workings being similar to transistor-based devices.
During the operation, SCP-1647-A autonomously activated, causing to Professors K████ and F██████, respectively former professors of mathematics and physics, to display behaviors similar to SCP-1647's affected. Professors K████ and F██████ were successfully restrained by on-site security personnel. Both recovered 5 hours later.
SCP-1647-A's mechanism was successfully removed and subsequently contained. Following a period of inactivity for 7 months, SCP-1647 was reclassified as Neutralized the 200█/██/██.
Addendum 1647-2: Incident 1647-Beta.
On 200█/██/██, 3 months after its reclassification to Neutralized, abnormal behaviors of multiple teachers were reported from the ██████ High School in ██████, Arkansas, identified as an SCP-1647's occurrence.
Affected individuals did not limit themselves to nonsensical behaviors, but directly injured or killed other faculty members, including other teachers, whilst no student was harmed.
Upon the arrival of Foundations agents, affected individuals ceased all other activities and engaged in combat with them; six (6) individuals were terminated on-site, while the others were contained. Class C amnestics were administered to all present. All deaths were stated to have been caused by a fatal car accident.
An instance of SCP-1647-A was found inside the thoracic cavity of Mr. C███ M██████, an English literature professor, and was immediately neutralized upon extraction. The instance was introduced in Mr. M██████'s body via surgery, as proven by the numerous scars found on his body.
Addendum 1647-3: Document 1647-17-GY.
The following typewritten note was also found inside Mr. M██████'s thoracic cavity. The source of the letter is currently unknown.

WE ARE STUDENTS
OUR SCHOOL SYSTEM IS SHIT
TEACHERS DO NOT FUCKING CARE ABOUT US
THEY TREAT US LIKE MACHINES
THEY ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN WE SCREW UP
THEY ALWAYS ACT LIKE BUFFOONS
WE WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE THIS
HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE SCHOOL IS TOO HARD AND THE TEACHERS DO NOT CARE
BUT NOW IT IS OUR TURN TO LAUGH AT THEM

Two similar notes were then found within other instances of SCP-1647-A from other SCP-1647's events. The Foundation currently contains only 10 instances of SCP-1647-A, despite it having occurred over ███ times at time of writing. For a full list of SCP-1647 events, please read Document 1647-19-TH.
Addendum 1647-4: Notes on SCP-1647's current status.
SCP-1647 no longer manifests with its previously stated pattern. SCP-1647 events now occur randomly, varying from 3 to 54 times a year. However, while their actions are invariably dangerous, affected individuals have not directly harmed others a second time, with the exception of Foundation personnel.
SCP-1647 has been reclassified as Keter as of 200█/██/██.

= LEVEL 3/1647 CLEARANCE REQUIRED =
Addendum 1647-5: Request for Procedure 176-Gettysburg's initiation.
On 200█/██/██, Dr. Arthur Leisse, Site-15's HMCL supervisor, has suggested the enactment of Procedure 176-Gettysburg. Procedure 176-Gettysburg consists of the raid of all the high schools located in the Southern United States and the termination of all the possibly involved personnel. As Procedure 176-Gettysburg's enablement may require excessive efforts for both execution and covering, and that SCP-1647-A's creators may be underage civilians, Dr. Leisse's request is currently under consideration of the Ethics Committee.

The situation is getting out of control. If we don't act now, SCP-1647's may expand its area of effect. Procedure 176-Gettysburg must be enabled immediately. It's not different from what we've done in 19██, after all. -Dr. Arthur Leisse, Site-15's HMCL Supervisor.

The enactment of Procedure 144-Washington in 19██ was deemed necessary for the protection of mankind. Procedure 176-Gettysburg isn't. For now, we will take it in consideration. -O5-7

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