Item #: SCP-1618
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1618 is to be stored in a safe in High Value Items Storage on Sector-28. Access to SCP-1618 for purposes of experimentation requires the experiment proposal and risk assessment forms to be approved by a researcher with 2/1618 clearance. Due to extended area of effect, any testing is to be carried out in Test Polygon-2, with the object mounted on its designated stand. During testing, only D-class personnel are allowed to enter the designated effective zone. It is recommended that the meals of D-class personnel designated for SCP-1618 testing are suspended at least two days before the date of the test.
Description: SCP-1618 is a standard Sanura 400 model urinal manufactured by Armitage Shanks that has been coated with an approximately 0.5mm layer of spray-on gold paint. With the exception of the paint coat, and a note (See Addendum 1618-1) found glued on the water supply pipe, the object does not differ from other urinals in the same series, and the testing of samples of gold paint and vitreous china detected no anomalies in their composition.
The anomalous properties of SCP-1618 manifest when a person urinates into the bowl. Approximately 5 seconds after urine comes into contact with SCP-1618, a number of effects occurs in a growing field of effect, starting in the immediate vicinity of the urinal, and increasing to cover a sphere approximately 350 metres in diameter. Except by direct observation of the effects, the affected area can not be distinguished from its surroundings, and the resulting emanation does not appear weakened or stopped by any tested materials, up to and including a lead plate of 25cm thickness.
The effects, as observed during initial containment and testing, have been summarised as follows:
— Valuable items or currency transform into, or are replaced by, an equivalent volume of various refuse. Observed changes include items made of gold and coinage becoming human feces, paper currency becoming toilet paper or sections of fresh pig intestine, and several Armani-brand suits turning into vestments of identical cut composed of used sanitary towels conjoined with dental floss.
— Personal electronics appears to show the greatest spectrum of transformations, with results ranging from inflated pig bladders in the rough shape of the original item, sections of brick, or rusty cans. On one occasion, an █████ brand PDA transformed into segments of depleted fuel rod, resulting in radiation burns to the test subject.
— Most armaments appear to transform into living birds of appropriate size, with most personal firearms becoming pigeons, and tear gas grenades turning into flocks of sparrows. Close contact weaponry transforms into human body sections instead, with a 40cm nightstick turning into an erect human penis of equivalent length.
— Human feces within the area of effect transform into an equivalent volume of solid gold. As this includes fecal matter present in the colon, this often results in an acute mechanical bowel obstruction, and associated sharp abdominal pain, distension of abdomen and vomiting. In the case of timely surgery, the recovery rates appear to be well above 95%, similar to that of bowel obstruction caused by non-anomalous means. In the case of subject's lower intestine being empty, or containing a small amount of feces, the result is likely constipation and bowel irritation.
The transformations appear permanent, while the active effect field dissipates within 30 seconds of the urinal being flushed.
Recovery Log: SCP-1618 was recovered from the executive bathrooms of ███████ ████ Group Inc. (further referred to as company) headquarters, located at ███ ████ Street, New York on ██/██/2011, following a series of protests related to the Occupy Wall Street movement. The Foundation was alerted to the existence of SCP-1618 when a TV recording from a protest site showed a police water cannon turning into four adult Casuarius casuarius (cassowary) specimens, following which a number of protesters, as well as police units, showing signs of distress and clutching their abdomens.
MTF Gamma-5 ("They're on our side, Sir!") was dispatched on-site as a recovery team and damage control. SCP-1618 was located following the interrogation of several protesters and company employees, thorough search of the building, and noting that no urinal resembling SCP-1618 appears to figure within company purchase records. Following recovery, affected subjects were provided medical attention, distributed class-A amnestics, and the entire area was cordoned off under the pretense of SWAT units action due to invalid permit application on the side of the protesters.
Addendum 1618-1:
Note recovered from SCP-1618

when we
Are victorious on a world scale I think we shall use gold for the purpose of building public lavatories in the streets of some of the largest cities of the
World. This would be the most “just” and most edu-
Cational way of utilising gold for the benefit of these generations which have not forgotten how, for the sake of gold, ten million men were killed and thirt-
Y million maimed in the “great war for freedom” ,
? V.I.Uljanov1

Footnotes
1. The birthname of V.I.Lenin, Russian revolutionary and statesman, 1870-1924

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