NOTICE TO ALL FOUNDATION PERSONNEL
ANOMALY CONTAINMENT CLASS UPGRADED
CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES UPDATED ACCORDINGLY
PLEASE SEE BELOW

UPDATED BY REQUEST OF CLASSIFICATION COMMITTEE, 04/21/22

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1822 has been shown to uniformly permeate 100% of the observable universe, and therefore cannot be contained. Thankfully, SCP-1822 does not pose a significant risk to the public or Foundation operations. Therefore, containment efforts are to be focused on minimizing knowledge of the extent of SCP-1822's properties. Foundation agents stationed in various sites of interest such as places of academia, statistics and research laboratories are to monitor and report any findings that may lead to the discovery of SCP-1822's anomalous qualities.
Additionally, personnel who are involved with scientific publication of research related to SCP-1822 are to utilize subterfuge, disinformation campaigns and "data dredging"1 to minimize the amount of factual data that is released to the public.

❂ ACCESS REVISED CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL

◆ CLEARANCE ACCEPTED

Following the events of Incident Log 1822.1, testing with SCP-1822 is restricted to observation only. At no time are any Kant-Sennheiser Kismet Probability counters to be placed inside reality-warping or conceptually/causally unstable environments.
Reclassification to object containment subclass Kudzu2 pending administrative approval. APPROVED

Description: SCP-1822 is the designation for a set of empirical proofs derived from common laws and axioms of mathematical statistics, physics, and chemistry, including some power laws, Zipf's law, the Pareto principle, the Stefan–Boltzmann law, and the Rayleigh–Jeans law34 which show an anomalous proportionality between unrelated phenomena, often observed as unexplainable trends present in large sets of data. SCP-1822 implies that 80.0:20.0 is universally constant throughout many extremely chaotic and complex forms of probabilistic scenarios and qualia,5 and therefore gives rise to predictable patterns of behavior in systems that should otherwise be highly variable.
This has led to the establishment of the Kismet Probability, a measurement of the chance of positive outcome, a phenomenon known colloquially as "luck". To date, the Foundation has been actively trying to suppress knowledge of SCP-1822 for over two centuries. The first recorded knowledge of SCP-1822 in Foundation possession is a set of Greek texts from ████ B.C.E., describing the nature of the anomaly. The texts posit several theories regarding origins of the phenomenon and is followed by a discussion of the implications of said theories were they to be proven true.
SCP-1822 has no discernible source, although explorations into alternate realities reveal [DATA REDACTED, SEE BELOW].

ADDITIONAL MATERIALS

Addendum 1822.1: Interview Logs / Excerpts

❂ ACCESS 1822-043/IN-01-8

◆ CLEARANCE ACCEPTED

The following is a series of relevant interviews, snippets and excerpts pertaining to SCP-1822.

Interviewee: George Rosenthal
Interviewer: Dr. H. Alexander
Date: 3/██/19██
Preface: Mr. Rosenthal is an agriculturalist from Luck, Wisconsin.6 Rosenthal reportedly came across evidence of SCP-1822 while reviewing purchase, inventory and quality reports of various crops he was cultivating. Subject reportedly spoke openly about the phenomenon on a public forum, prompting Foundation investigation. Subject released post interview upon application of Class-B Amnestics.

[EXTRANEOUS DIALOGUE REMOVED]
Dr. Alexander: And how exactly did this come to your attention?
Rosenthal: I mean, how do you not notice? 20% of my crop generates 80% of my earnings, the top 20% of the people that buy from me make up 80% of all purchases, hell, even 20% of the plants themselves hold 80% of the total number of vegetables on the vines. How does that make sense?
Dr. Alexander: It is unusual, isn't it? Your testimony will help us better understand the phenomenon.
Rosenthal: You guys are scientists?
Dr. Alexander: More or less.
Rosenthal: So, what do you guys think it is?
Dr. Alexander: That information is classified, although I can say that we are hoping it is explainable with our current understanding of statistical analysis. It is possible that it is simply a coincidence.
Rosenthal: [laughs] Coincidence? I've never seen something so far away from coincidence in my whole life, doc. I see it everywhere now. 20% of Americans hold 80% of all wealth. Did you know that? No, this ain't coincidence. Whatever it is, it's everywhere, out there, in the background of it all. Something like gravity, you know? Ever present.
Dr. Alexander: Noted. I think that just about covers it. Thank you for report.
Rosenthal: No problem. Oh, and, doc?
Dr. Alexander: Yes?
Rosenthal: Be safe. It's a strange world out there.
Dr. Alexander: That it is.
[END LOG]

From: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]
To: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]
Subject: Re: SCP-1822

I think I've got it worked out.
People like to give our universe a bad rap, but in all reality things are pretty okay. From a purely biological standpoint, we humans are thriving. Sure, we may have five thousand ticking time bombs locked in boxes across the biosphere, but we are alive. The chances of human life making it this far without being annihilated is, well, let's just say we are lucky on a base scale.
Where am I going with this? Well, the presence of SCP-1822 has never been a bad thing. It has always pointed out in favor of the individual. Who would have thought that you can achieve 80% more if you give 20% more effort? That good things happen to you 80% of the time? SCP-1822 goes back as far as our records allow, and as far back as written record says we have observed it.
Maybe this thing is like the gravitational constant. If so, maybe we should take a closer look at elementary particles- more specifically of any instances of SCP-1822 at the most fundamental scale, see if it is possible to manipulate or detect, then move outward from there.
What do you think?
Dr. H. Alexander, Site-83 Theoretical Anomalies Department

From: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]
To: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]
Subject: Re: Re: SCP-1822

Dr. Alexander,
Funny you should mention elementary particles, I was about to shut down my desktop for the day but decided to check my email one last time. I just so happened to find an updated report sitting in my inbox from one of our Agents at CERN regarding SCP-1822. Isn't that lucky?
Let me forward it to you now. This stuff goes right over my head. Maybe you can parse it out.
Regards,
Sr. Researcher Davis

From: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]
To: Dr. H. Alexander [halexander@scipnet]
Subject: Fwd: 1822 Accelerator Results

From: Albert Hofman [CONTACT INFORMATION REDACTED]
To: Sr. Researcher Davis [ndavis@scipnet]
Subject: 1822 Accelerator Results
Nadia,
Latest results of testing confirms a likelihood of SCP-1822 in the behavior of certain particles. Specifically, neutral D mesons (D0) retain consistent flavor7 80.00% more often than their respective antiparticles, which represents a significant parity violation. Their contained charm quark acts in a similar but distinct fashion, with 80.00% of observed decaying into strange quarks instead of down quarks in 20.0% of observations.
Interestingly, charm quarks continue to express 1822 behavior in relation to their antiparticles separately from neutral D mesons when they oscillate into anti-D mesons. Specifically, charm quarks are 20.00% more massive than 80.00% of charm antiquarks- another substantial parity violation. And yes, before you or anyone else asks, I have repeated the tests numerous times (at great risk to myself, by the way) to confirm their significance and can assure you that this is not coincidental. Don't ask me to repeat my calculations for p-value or approximate confidence or any of that bullshit when I say this, but they're 0 and 100% respectively and I'm sticking to that. I don't see the need in calculating the far end of asymptotes when there are spare supercomputers being used as coffee tables in 19 that can give you your arbitrarily small deviation hours faster than I can. When you've seen these values as precisely as I have as often as I have, there tends to be little doubt in the statistical significance.
I won't bore you with any more jargon, but I'll tell you this: the implications are immense. Take the data I'm sending you now and get it to the Particle Physics & Thaumaturgic Analysis lab, have them scrape it and see what happens. Maybe they can get permission to use SCP-536 for testing. Either way, portable analysis of mesons is perfectly feasible with our current levels of technology, no warehouse accelerator needed. Not sure about the quarks, but I'm not hanging around here long enough to test anything else- I already had to wipe plenty of records and brains after that black hole ordeal last year and I'm still not completely over the radiation poisoning. Anyway, I'll be sure to scrub the data on my end one last time, fudge a few numbers and adjust the accelerator before EoD.
Good luck.

H.

PROPOSAL 1822-MOIRAI
DATE OF SUBMISSION:
██/██/████
PROJECT HEAD:
Dr. Robert Sennheiser, Foundation Center for Particle Physics and Thaumaturgic Analysis

OBJECTIVE:
Develop portable device capable of displaying Kismet Probability by detecting the frequency of parity violations of D mesons and anti-D mesons.
REQUESTED RESOURCES:
- Access to SCP-536 for testing purposes
- Access to SCP-████ to create unbounded false vacuum inside device
- Access to SCP-2700 for analysis
- Materials necessary to construct device
- 25 D-Class Personnel for experimentation
PROJECT DETAILS:
Using information gathered from decades of statistical analysis and interpretation of raw data from CERN, a prototype model Kant-Sennheiser counter will be constructed. Creation of a small (.3µm) unbounded vacuum non-dimension8 via use of SCP-████ is possible, which will be retrofitted into a small chassis with the use of a Lang-Scranton Spatial Stabilizer. The device will be equipped with 256 microsensitive D meson-detecting units, to be affixed in a circle around the vacuum inside of device for real-time analysis.
Extensive testing of device will take place through use of SCP-536. Once a control has been established, testing with D-Class Personnel will commence to determine the degree in which the results fluctuate due to changes in reality.
POTENTIAL RISKS/DEVIATION VECTORS:

Presumed incapable of measuring effect on charm quarks/antiquarks and similar due to scalability issues. May lead to inaccurate readings, but no evidence supports this at present time.

SCP-536 is potentially hazardous if misused, mitigating factors will be deployed.

Misuse of false vacuum generation creates potential risk of false vacuum decay, outcome and likelihood unknown, presumed low. Possible consequences include immediate gravitational collapse of the entire universe, complete alteration or cessation of all fundamental forces, spontaneous destruction of all baryonic matter, unforeseen changes to the flow of time, reconfiguration of complex structures and/or an extremely loud noise that may potentially cause hearing damage to those in immediate vicinity.

Addendum 1822.2: Project Kismet Overview

❂ ACCESS 1822-215/EX-20-3

◆ CLEARANCE ACCEPTED

On ██/██/████, the first functioning Kant-Sennheiser Kismet Probability Counter was completed. Testing with Hume variations reveal little to no change from baseline, suggesting SCP-1822 is intrinsic to the universe and not modifiable to any degree of certainty.
While studying SCP-2700, Dr. Alexander reportedly brought the device into SCP-2400. When checking diagnostics, it was revealed that SCP-1822 had a value of 50.0:50.0 within the confines of the alternate dimension. Upon acquisition of this knowledge, Dr. Alexander applied for Council approval to personally explore and record the SCP-1822 value of other anomalous locations. The request was denied, however, the O5 Council approved construction and field use of further Kant-Sennheiser Counters.9 Project Kismet was established on ██/██ under direct supervision of the Council, in an attempt to catalogue the SCP-1822 value of alternate realities.

Addendum 1822.3: Kismet Testing Logs

❂ ACCESS 1822-069/AX-01-8

◆ CLEARANCE ACCEPTED

Dimension
Kismet Probability
Notes

Earth Dimension-001
80.0:20.0
Used as a control for the experiment.

SCP-2400
50.0:50.0
SCP-2400 appears to be neutral. Further testing is to be done to confirm the integrity of contained site within.10

SCP-2317-Prime
19.2:80.8
First recorded reality where the probability does not fall in favor of life.

SCP-2759-E
34.0:66:0
Research into how exactly SCP-1822 relates to causality is underway, although it appears to be pretty straightforward- If the Kismet chance is low, suffering is high. At least we probably now know why some interdimensional crossroads tend to devour Mobile Task Forces.

DATA CORRUPT
90.5:09.5
DATA CORRUPT

SCP-3315-1
DATA CORRUPT
DATA CORRUPT

DATA CORRUPT

ERROR - OUT OF BOUNDS @ LINE: 550

Incident Log 1822.1: On ██/██/████, during routine control testing using SCP-536, Jr. Researcher Edward Wilson reportedly dropped the device, fracturing the casing isolating the false vacuum inside. No effect was observed,11 and the object was placed inside SCP-536 for continued testing. Over the next forty-eight hours, there were seven containment breaches, thirty-five reports of personnel involved in workplace accidents, and an unknown number of equipment failures, memory errors, and database backup corruptions, the full consequence of which is currently unclear. Upon checking the device, SCP-1822's value revealed itself to be 54.5:45.5.12
Attempts to modify this value with the original device have failed.
Attempts to replace the false vacuum within the prototype Kismet counter have failed. Analysis suggests that it dissipated while inside SCP-536.
Attempts to replicate results of initial calibration tests of SCP-536 have failed.
Attempts to recover lost portions of the statistical analysis data from control testing necessary to calibrate the two remaining Kismet counters to our original conditions have failed.
Attempts to return the particle accelerator at CERN to a configuration that would produce accurate data have failed.
All experimentation involving SCP-1822 has been suspended by the O5 Council until further notice.

Footnotes
1. The purposeful misrepresentation of statistical data to distort findings in favor of another outcome.
2. Named after the invasive plant species, the Kudzu subdesignation is given to anomalies which cannot be contained due to their relationship with consensus reality.
3. Note. See: Smith "Metaphysics and the Science of Patterns". From Comparative Perspectives of Anomalous Phenomena (1898-2004) (Foundation Academic Archives, 2014), p. 433-476
4. It is to note that none of these are inherently anomalous on their own, only the behaviors they indicate are abnormal.
5. The subjective or otherwise ineffable portions of conscious experience.
6. The obvious parallels to the subject matter are considered coincidental.
7. Flavor Oscillation is the mechanism by which certain particles transform between their matter and antimatter states or "flavors".
8. Non-dimensions are created frequently during artificial wormhole generation and possess a Kismet Probability of 00.0:00.0, making them ideal for control conditions.
9. Despite the limited success of field use in alternate dimensions, the original prototype is currently one of three such devices in existence, and the only one of the three has been successfully calibrated for our Kismet Probability.
10. Site-64T underwent rigorous stability testing and was confirmed to be in optimal condition. Later that month, however, a catastrophic breach caused by SCP-3330 was reported, resulting in the loss of 99% of Site-64T's staff. Class-C personnel and Sr. Researcher James A. Harkness was promoted to interim project lead, being one of the only surviving onsite personnel left with intimate knowledge of the anomaly.
11. Ruling out potential K-Class event via false vacuum decay as a likely hazard, aside from the possibility that we are currently in a new iteration of the universe that started at the moment the device was dropped or are experiencing a time-dilated collective hallucination in the last moments of existence.
12. The accuracy of this value cannot be confirmed at present time due to data loss.

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