Item #: SCP-983
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-983 is completely safe so long as technicians handling it do so on any day other than their birthday. Should SCP-983 be presented to or handled by any individual on the yearly anniversary of their birth, they should immediately follow the sing-along guidelines contained in Emergency Kit 135r located next to the door to SCP-983's containment chamber.
In the event the targeted individual fails to meet sing-along requirements, their remains are to be disposed of through standard methods. In the event the targeted individual meets the sing-along requirements, the following pieces of data are to be collected: Age, Color of Candy collected, Singing Accuracy obtained by the best judgment of those present, and the number of verses that passed before acknowledgment by SCP-983.
No candy obtained from SCP-983 is to be consumed by any staff without senior staff-approved containment procedures in place and written waivers filed and stamped by the consumer. This requirement is waived in the case of Class-D candy testing.
Description: SCP-983 is a vintage mechanical monkey with a faded date located on the bottom of the left foot, placing its manufacture at some point in the 1940s by an unknown person or company. The monkey is dressed in the remains of what used to be a popular vest design for circus ringmasters. In the monkey's left hand, there is a lightly tarnished brass bell. In the right hand, the monkey holds a small brass striking rod. The monkey is capable of emitting speech and sound, although examination of the object has revealed no seams, screws, or openings that would indicate a method of disassembly.
SCP-983 is completely harmless and inert under most circumstances and may be handled without special precautions so long as the handler is not experiencing the 24-hour period considered the anniversary of their birth. Once SCP-983 physically comes into contact with an individual on their birthday, it will spring to life and do a single back flip before raising its bell and singing a simple song.
A RING DING DING DING IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!
This single verse will be followed by the monkey striking its bell producing a tone that varies in pitch from quite high to rather low. SCP-983's singing was found to vary slightly in pitch as well but maintained a very excited and happy tone.
SCP-983 will sing this song once every three to four seconds, pausing only to ring its bell, until the new owner has died or met the sing-along requirements, which as of yet are not completely understood but are believed to be based in timing the sing-along properly with SCP-983.
Each verse sung by SCP-983 appears to age the ‘owner' of the item by what is estimated at one year. By singing along with SCP-983, the ‘owner' may deactivate the monkey which, once done successfully, results in a triumphant declaration of 'BIRTHDAY!' from SCP-983, at which time it will ring its bell once and produce a single gumdrop-style candy from the bell.
The approach of singing along with SCP-983 has a direct impact on the color of the candy and the side effects of its consumption. Test groups instructed to follow Document 135r to the letter have verified that a perfect sing-along results in the production of crystal-clear candy with mildly luminescent qualities. A near-perfect sing-along produces the same candy minus the luminescence. Both of these candy types have been verified as restoring any age lost by the consumer due to SCP-983's song; however, the luminescent candy may also grant additional time and youth, though as of yet this theory is unproven due to the low production rate of this candy.
Due to the inconsistencies in attitude, tone, behavior, and approach when trying to match SCP-983's song, a wide variety of candies have been produced. Under absolutely no circumstances are black candies allowed to be consumed, although other colors may be consumed pending prior approval and containment arrangements.
The initial activation of SCP-983 was in a highly uncontrolled environment, so a ‘retelling' is the best record available of the incident. Subsequent tests of interest in more controlled environments have been attached to this document as well as candy effects for those experiments.

SCP-983 First Activation

SCP-983 was purchased from a local flea market intended as a gift for a monkey admirer as a joke. The seller of the monkey warned the purchaser that it was to be seen and never touched by anyone on the day of their birth, but was unable to give exact reasons why, stating it was a warning passed to them that was well observed and may have been ‘Gypsy legend or some other bull████.'
Upon the birthday of SCP-983's intended new owner, the gift was unwrapped and the monkey handled, at which point it sprang into song. Staff attending the birthday party of their coworker were amused as was the recipient at first; however, witnesses state the recipient became more and more agitated the longer the monkey sang.
After ten estimated verses, the recipient tried to find a way to turn the device off, to no avail. Attendees state that at this time several persons noted streaks of silver within the recipient's hair. Following an estimated 8 to 10 more verses from SCP-983, the grey was quite pronounced as were signs of wrinkling or stress on the recipient's face. Within five more verses, the recipient returned the monkey to rest and complained of not having the strength to deal with this nonsense, pleading for someone to turn it off.
With SCP-983 not being fully realized as a potentially dangerous object, there was panic and sloth in the reactions of the attending staff, which led to SCP-983 being able to complete what can only be estimated at thirty or perhaps forty more verses before a containment crew could arrive at the party locale. By this point, the recipient had long since expired due to aging, leaving only a skeletal frame remaining in his chair with the skin clinging to it.
With confusion on how to approach SCP-983 safely, it was allowed to sing for roughly another minute before it ceased of its own accord, at which point nothing remained of the original recipient other than his purely skeletal remains. SCP-983's final verse consisted of the single word, “BIRTHDAY!”, which it announced joyously before doing a single backflip and ringing its bell once. From the bell fell a single candy resembling a gumdrop pure black in color. This candy was never consumed and was described as being moderately entrancing, drawing a person's gaze into it until an outside source distracted them. With a number of individuals at the scene and the general chaos involving the incident, no single person was able to become too focused on the candy and it was safely contained.

SCP-983 Controlled Activation #32

During test #32 regarding SCP-983 one test subject █████ ██████████ volunteered for testing as her birthday had approached and she displayed qualities unique in comparison to previous test subjects, specifically an exceptionally upbeat and excited approach to her birthday. █████ is referred to as ‘the subject' for the remainder of this test.
Without explanation as to what to expect, the subject was given SCP-983 as a wrapped present with the prior warning that this object sings and it would make for a great birthday video if she were to sing along with it. The subject displayed glee and acceptance of SCP-983 as a suitable gift when it was unwrapped, and required no guidance in singing along with the object as it began.
The subject went above and beyond the singing requirements missing only the first verse to get the words and picking up immediately at the second then continuing for a total of forty-five (45) verses for a total of forty-six (46) completed.
During the singing process the subject displayed the expected aging process with each verse that passed, but displayed no loss of energy or enthusiasm in continuing the songs till their end. The subject remained completely unaware of her body's physical state throughout the experiment.
Upon completion of the final verse SCP-983 announced the finale as expected with stating 'BIRTHDAY!' loudly and performing a single backflip followed by a ringing of its bell. The candy produced from the bell was recorded as being a vibrant white color with vaguely luminescent properties. The subject noted it was the most beautiful confectionery that they had ever seen and observing staff also noted admiration for the gumdrop. In keeping with the control of the experiment the subject was allowed to consume the candy.
Upon finishing the candy and following a one-hour period of monitoring there was no indication that any side effect occurred from consumption. With the experiment about to be declared finished the subject asked to leave and was excused from the testing area, at which point she exploded with blinding light that damaged the cameras monitoring the experiment and left all attendees blind for five minutes following the burst. Assisting personnel who rushed to the scene described a faint lingering light that remained for at least two minutes in the place where the subject stood before it faded out.
The subject has not been located since this experiment and unusually high electromagnetic activity has been noted within the area that was used for testing. Replacement of light fixtures within this area has also risen approximately 70% from the norm throughout other areas of the facility; however, no decrease in lighting has been reported in any area affected by this anomaly.

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