Item #: SCP-738
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-738 is to be kept in three linked sealed chambers with armed guards and a remote detonation system at all times, as well as constant full audio/visual surveillance. Due to the variety and strength of observed interactions with SCP-738, and the unknown limits of SCP-738, the following procedures are to be strictly followed.
When SCP-738 is not in use, its components must be kept one to each chamber. Mechanical means built into the containment area are to be used to assemble and disassemble SCP-738.
Should mechanical assembly means fail, then testing is to be canceled until an engineer fitted with an explosive collar can be sent in to repair the systems. Said engineer is to be detonated upon any attempt to interact with any component of SCP-738.
Should mechanical disassembly fail, preset shaped charges shall be used to disassemble SCP-738. The system should then be repaired and reset by a single engineer fitted with an explosive collar.
All Class D personnel used to test the device must be mildly intellectually disabled or of comparably impaired cognitive function, and must be fitted with an explosive collar. This is in order to prevent them from learning too much about SCP-738 and possibly using SCP-738 in a way that is detrimental to the Foundation.
Class D personnel with IQs over 60, and all other personnel are not allowed into the room containing SCP-738. Class D personnel are allowed into the room containing SCP-738 for experimentation only and are to be provided with continual instruction by research personnel.
Description: SCP-738 consists of three components. A matched set of mahogany furniture including one (1) desk currently labeled SCP-738-1, one (1) straight-backed chair currently labeled SCP-738-2, and one (1) ornate "throne" styled office chair labeled SCP-738-3, all with brass embellishments and royal purple velvet padding.
The effect begins when a sentient entity sits in SCP-738-2 in ‘front' of SCP-738-1 with SCP-738-3 resting behind SCP-738-2. Cameras show SCP-738-3 moving during the effect, frequently leaning back into a ‘relaxed state' as well as moving closer to, or further away from SCP-738-2. Occasionally SCP-738-3 is moved in front of SCP-738-2. Furthermore cameras show papers and folders containing papers leaving SCP-738-1's drawers. The papers are made of parchment. A quill pen and a bottle of ink emerge from the long drawer. The pen will write on the parchment.
Audio recorders record a distorted voice speaking. This voice will make offers and promises, attempting to tempt the occupant of SCP-738-2. Meaning has been extracted from the spoken voice. If, in this time, the entity sitting in SCP-738-2 makes a request, then the tempting and offers will cease. There will be a pause and a price will be stated. This can be bargained with; however, the voice will insist on other prices of ‘equal value.' Occasionally when a request is made the voice will respond by telling the requester that they ‘do not want the object enough' or that they are ‘obviously requesting the object for someone else to get around paying full price' in which case the request is not fulfilled. This occurs most frequently for requests that can affect other people, or can transfer possession.
Accepting the deal causes the agreed-upon wish or command to be fulfilled to the letter, but not past the letter. Furthermore it will cause the occurrences stated in the price to be paid. The entity has actively stated that the occurrences in the price are intended to cause an amount of emotional and/or physical pain equal to the amount that the requester desires what they request. How parity is calculated is at present unknown. The price has also been stated to be independent of any pain caused by fulfilling the request. See the test log for examples of prices paid, and requests made.
As a final note, personnel in the chair have reported seeing an entity sitting in SCP-738-3. However, all attempts to observe this entity when not seated in SCP-738-2 have failed, and further descriptions of the entity are inconsistent between sessions, even with multiple sessions with the same person. When asked about this, the entity claims to be the same entity each time. Some frequent descriptions of the entity include ‘seductive' and ‘charming'. Sessions with the same person that are close in time report similar or identical entity appearances. Sessions with different people that are close in time report different entities appearances. Descriptions of the voice do not match the voice recorded on the equipment.
Addendum 738-1: History
SCP-738 was recovered from the office of ██████ ██████████, a Catholic Cardinal, after his death on ██/██/██. He had received it as a gift from the Pope for extraordinary services from the Vatican archives. The Foundation became aware of SCP-738 after [DATA EXPUNGED]. With ██████ ██████████ dead and his will contested in the aftermath of the event, Foundation personnel acquired the desk. Foundation agents in the Vatican reported recovering some of the documents surrounding SCP-738.
Addendum 738-2: Test results
Test 1: Researcher sits in SCP-738-2 and waits.
Results: Researcher reports several attempts made to coerce him into a deal, with deals including love of the women he wants, an object that would make him a well respected researcher, and the granting of O5 status. Startled researcher leaves SCP-738-2, leaves room. Recordings follow statements provided. Researcher reports disappearance of the entity, followed by return of pen, paper, and folders to drawers. Using cameras, speed of object return clocked at over 120 m/s. Researcher reports seeing a man in a red and gold business suit.
Test 2: Personnel D-██ sat on SCP-738-2. Analysis performed upon papers and documents.
Results: Spectral analysis has confirmed that the parchment is human skin. The feather in the quill pen comes from an unidentified bird. Subject offered freedom, is told that the price is the death of his best friend. D-██ laughed and agreed, then vanished. D-██ was re-captured five hours later. Documents written in English. D-██ involved in test reported seeing a beautiful and seductive woman.
Test 3: Personnel D-███, a non-native English speaker, sits in SCP-738-2.
Results: Papers written in D-███'s native language, as is spoken communication. D-███ offered the power to never be held in a cell again. Price is stated to be memories of D-███'s mother. D-███ accepts offer. After acceptance [DATA EXPUNGED] resulting in the deaths of 12 guards, and D-███.
Test 4: Personnel D-████, dyslexic and seriously intellectually disabled, sits in SCP-738-2.
Results: The language on the parchment appeared to be crude pictograms representing the deal, though some words in English were represented in the parchment. In general the English was unrelated to the pictures they were under and frequently insult D-████'s intelligence, and state that the entity is uncertain how much of this D-████ understands. D-████ was offered a Sloppy Joe. Price was stated to be Mopsy, a toy that D-████ had been allowed to smuggle into the Foundation. D-████ accepted and food was materialized upon the desk, along with antique silverware, fine china plate, and crystal glass 'sippy cup' with wine colored grape juice. D-████ shows great distress upon discovering that Mopsy was missing after finishing meal. D-████ reports seeing a large pink rabbit. After deal was complete, and D-████ left chair, recorders picked up a sigh. Voiceprint of sigh does not match D-████'s voice.
Test 4 followup: D-████ issued toy exactly identical to 'Mopsy'.
Result: As soon as D-████ named the toy Mopsy, it vanished. D-████ showed great emotional distress.
Test 5: Destruction testing.
Result: [DATA EXPUNGED], explosive, fire, gunshot, mechanical wood chipper fail. Direct attack upon desk with axe leaves a single gash, with depth of 3 mm and results in [DATA EXPUNGED] as well as death of attacking personnel. Gash remains in desk. Video logs show gash healing at a rate of 1 µm per day.
Test 6: Researcher sits in SCP-738-2. Asks "What are you?"
Result: Entity, taking the appearance of a large snake, states "I'm sorry. It's against policy to divulge personal details. But may I interest you in [DATA EXPUNGED]". Researcher stood from chair, shaking and ending the session. Researcher was then placed in mental institution 5 awaiting review due to information revealed by offer.
Test 7: Sheldon Katz, Esq., senior counsel with the Foundation's legal department.
Result: At commencement of test, Mr. Katz presented the entity with a notarized, apostilled affidavit stating that he was participating in the test on his own behalf and not as agent for the Foundation. Approximately forty-one hours after the commencement of the test, Mr. Katz lapsed into unconsciousness due to exhaustion. Mr. Katz described the appearance of the entity as identical to his first-year contracts professor from law school, but he declined to describe the nature of the offer that had been made. He reported that just prior to his blacking out, he had been in the midst of negotiating a precise technical definition of the word "shall". Katz stated that the current working draft of the agreement that he and the entity had been drafting was at least nine hundred pages long at that moment, exclusive of exhibits and schedules, and that he regretted not keeping a copy for his form file. A red leather envelope, smelling of sulphur, was found on Mr. Katz's person, which contained a handwritten note reading "Please come back any time. I haven't had so much fun in years." Mr. Katz has requested reassignment.
Remaining tests require level 4 clearance or higher to view until declassification is complete.
Addendum 738-3: Notes
In recent testing, offers have been made directly to the researchers who were telling the subject what to do. Recommend cessation of all testing. ~O5-██

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