So, the D-classes messed up Crunchy's bi-weekly cleaning, again. Oh and by Crunchy I mean 173. I never really cared for the nickname ‘The Sculpture'. I think Crunchy captures his essence much more effectively. Sorry, its, not his. I know I'm not supposed to anthropomorphize these things, but it's hard. When it's your job to understand something like this, how can you not try to get inside its head?
Take right now for instance. Two D-classes just had their necks snapped, and the third's giving his all to the most important staring contest of his life. He's Amy Ponding it, blinking one eye at a time. I've been told that doesn't work, but Crunchy isn't moving. Why wouldn't it work, after all? We don't know, because we don't know why Crunchy can only move when no one's looking. If it is some sort of quantum wave function thing, then the Amy Pond thing should work. Of course, it could have nothing to do with quantum wave functions. Maybe he's just shy.
If Amy Ponding it doesn't work, then what would happen if someone with one eye looked at Crunchy? We should test that. Out of all the D-class we have, some of them have got to have only one eye, and no one's ever sent them to 173 for testing? And did we stop using the Eye Pods on this guy? Was that back when we stopped cross-testing everything just because we could? Man, those were the days.
Mr. Pond is still holding his own in there. He's backed up against the door and is screaming to be let out. I should open it, but I can't help but think that Crunchy might be faking it. There's an access control vestibule of course, so even if he gets through the door it won't do him any good, but I can't quite shake the feeling that he knows something I don't. The little scamp's broken out of containment more than once, after all.
Sometimes I wonder why Crunchy does what he does. No one's ever seen him move, or if they have they didn't live to tell about it. All video feeds of him are either static or blue screens of death unless there's someone with him, but we can still hear him scraping the walls of his cell. And why kill everyone on sight? Who does that? What does he get out of it? He doesn't eat the bodies or use them for anything, and if it was for pleasure you'd think he'd take his time, like the Old Man. Crunchy, he's just a monster with no rhyme or reason. He's a boogie man to scare people.
And the bloodied shit that lines his cell, jeez. Dude should really see a doctor about that. How can you make shit without food, answer me that? His file should probably be classified as ectoentropic. It's not though, for some reason.
I really wish we could find out where Crunchy comes from. It's probably nothing special, just something a random anartist whipped up in their garage or something. On the other hand, Crunchy's got a bit of an aura about him. I've heard people call him ‘The Original' before, but I don't know why. He's not the first SCP. At least, I don't think he is. Then again, everyone knows these numbers aren't chronological, and rumour has it that all the SCP-001 files are just disinformation. Crap, what if he is the first? He was transferred to Site 19 in '93, but who knows how long we've had him.
What if he's not just the first, but the source? What if he was the first anomaly, and that single breach in the laws of physics was enough for a whole shitload of anomalous freaks and monsters and objects to flood into our reality? That's a weird thought, right? If 173 never existed then, for example, Herman Fuller's Circus wouldn't exist either? Not one other Skip, not one GoI, not even the Foundation would exist without 173? I just blew my own mind.
Well, I'll probably get in trouble if I don't let Mr. Pond out. I'm probably in trouble already, letting him scream for so long. The Ethics Committee has really been cracking down on D-class abuse lately, but that's just a budgetary thing. We can't burn through these guys like we use to. I'll just open the inner door to the vestibule and…
Crunch.
…the feed just cut out. Crap. That's fine, I'll just look at the file, see what I'm supposed to do. It says that if he starts acting weird, I'm supposed to contact my HMCL supervisor.
What the hell is an HMCL supervisor?