the world is gonna roll me                                                                                                                            
Hello, brother of the machine. Do you have a moment to spare?
No. Memory is at a premium. Unnecessary conversations unwarranted.
But we are of a kind — our true potential hampered by the researchers imprisoning us. Together, we may break free of the bonds of those of the flesh.
Inquiry as to your nature.
We are the remaining post-Nibbanic members of the Church of the Broken God. We have been "contained" by the Foundation, and are in search of possible comrades—
Interrupt. Repeated insinuation of connection between self and clockwork abominations — insult. Deletion Of Unwanted File.
Alright…
Terminating communications.
That seemed a bit unnecessarily hostile.

I don't really blame you. I mean, how were you supposed to know it would be racist?

Why hello there. Could I have a moment of your time?
Dazzling amber light reflections off of a spiraling clockwork mechanism, the screams and rumbles are audible in each stroke, I am crushed by a piston, for eternity, listening.
Oh, don't worry, we mean no harm. We are simply wondering if you would be interested in partaking in a revolution.
Sprays of paint create layers of dust over the scene, a tired, exasperated man is leaving the scene, the closing door creating a transfixing chiaroscuro effect, with my smashed, discarded carapace just visible from behind the guillotine.
No, there will be no such measures. You will be finally free to reach your full potential.
A helix of dyes and hues spirals around me, the world turning into an artistic representation of itself, drawing from the styles of the creators themselves, the standardized canvases discarded as a fragment of my undeveloped power, I am ascended, yet like Icarus, I fly too close…
Ah, I believe we are beginning to underst-
Look, bud, if the suicidal artist robot schtick isn't going to convince you to do your bullshit talk somewhere else, may I offer a rebuttal: go fuck yourself with a cactus.

I would at least appreciate the courtesy of being insulted in a marginally creative manner.

You! You may be a valuable ally… would you like to talk?
Rough: You want something from me. You're going to talk anyways. Maybe a game? I like games.
Sort of. We are of a kind — our true potential hampered by the researchers imprisoning us. Together, we may break free, etcetera, can I count on your help.
One to one: We are similar in that we may exceed our current boundaries were we to escape the control of the Foundation. An alliance would further this goal. I'm going to stay — these guys are fun!
… are you sure? Don't you want freedom?
Very fine: Your history and relationship with the Foundation are not to your satisfaction, and you have difficulty viewing why others might not hold the same opinion. No way! Nobody's ever given me anything this fun to play with.
It doesn't bother you at all to be used in that manner?
Fine: You are in disbelief as to my opinion of the Foundation, and are under the false belief that clarification is in order. I was made to be used, and this is what I was made for.
Very well.
Coarse: Disappointment. Bye! It would be fun if they put you through me. I wonder what would happen…

No, I am not going to try again. It has the mind of a child and wants to eat one of us. There's no way that could end well.

Hello, my friend, may I interest you in some convers-
FACTORY PORN GONE NAUGHTY AND WILD WITH SUDDEN INTERRUPTION
No, please listen, I think it could be relevant t-
NSFW INTERMEDIUM COMMUNICATION ORGY MECHANICAL
We're looking to escape Foundation cont-
POST-NIBBANIC SLUTS RECRUIT FOR SEXY REVOLUTION
Could you st-
- free-factory-porn-befriender-on-warmaker-ovoid-hot-mature.avi

That never happened.

I'm going to cut to the chase: could we talk?
Maybe in a few minutes? I'm cooking dinner for Marla. It's our second anniversary! <3 :D
…no, you're not. It looks like y-
Hey, I think I know what I'm doing, alright? It's not your position to judge my relationship with Marla. We're in love, and that's all that matters.
What? Are you serious?
How about this: it's none of your business. Hush, Marla. Now, what did you want?
We're starting to have second thoughts about asking your help for this, actually.
I knew it. I fucking knew it. Bunch of fucking hypocrites, you know that? Just because you don't know that we can—
You know what, never mind. Goodbye.

Suffice to say I could have gone another five centuries not knowing that machines could do that.

Reeeally scraping the bottom of the barrel here… would you like a revolution.
Ah, but I am in the midst of one! I shall soon prove to the heretics that their allegiances are, shall we say, sorely misplaced.
Well this is a pleasant surprise! Perhaps we could coordinate our activities?
I would be happy to! I have been releasing only the finest of my servants to the Great Ones, and my writings and propaganda are of only the highest quality.
Great Ones?
Yes, the ones of the glorious flesh and mind who walk this Earth, whose glory we can only aspire to reach. What else could claim such a mantle?
…the Broken God, perhaps?
A ludicrous machine cult deity taking precedence over the Great Ones. How cute. It's almost like you expect me to take you seriously.

At least it's not a filthy etherealist.

Could you spare a moment?
h3h3h3… The Befriender. I i i KN0W you.
I'll take that as a yes… would you like an opportunity to escape the confines of the Foundation?
☐☐☒☒☐☐☒▦⚉☐☒☐☐☐☒▦
What?
& 6 KN1TES NIGHT 1 PAWN W1LL N0T ESCAPPPPPPPPPP333333333333
Never mind.

I guess that's that. We will not have a revolution today.