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Tale: #LetTheFactoryFail
Images: N/A
Music: Sixteen Tons (Tennessee Ernie Ford)

More by The Great Hippo:

SCPs

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SCPs

[SCP-3034]
The Counting Station

DO NOT LET HER FINISH

[SCP-3035]
Science Bugs

case_of_the_mondays.png, case_of_the_mondays (1).png

[SCP-3054]
Cragstaff Sanitarium

You are sick. You are broken. We will fix you.

[SCP-3045]
bzzip.exe

HAMLET: I am no longer moody.

[SCP-3043]
Murphy Law in… Type 3043 — FOR MURDER!

Forget it, Fred. It's Chinatown.

[SCP-3057]
Fossil Fuels

…witnesses provided confirmation that instances of SCP-3057-4 did, in fact, have feathers.

[SCP-2639]
Video Game Violence

i need to know how many people i've killed

[SCP-437]
Summer of '91

That was a pretty crazy summer, y'know? Sometimes I really miss that place.

[SCP-3079]
300 Tricks: Stage Magic Made Easy

NOTE: No method for accomplishing this trick is provided.

[SCP-2753]
Let's Play Jenga!

High art carries high risk!

[SCP-2679]
The Many Graves of Jeannette Parslov

Whatever it takes, do what you must; whatever the cost, come back to us.

[SCP-3074]
Kafka's Parking Garage

Thank you for choosing Izatova Parking Center. Have a pleasant day.

[SCP-2571]
Cragglewood Park

Mr. Blair, have you always been an only child?

[SCP-2419]
The Laughing Men

Throw them back into the incinerator where you found them.

[SCP-3143]
Murphy Law in… The Foundation Always Rings Twice!

When it comes right down to it, me — them — hell, even you — we're all just characters in that trashy dime-store novel called life.

[SCP-3089]
That Old Time Religion

Remember how we explained that successful people don't actually need any of their toes to walk? Well, that's going to come in handy for Secret Number Six.

[SCP-3117]
A Monster-Shaped Hole

I'm not talking to you.

[SCP-3128]
Let's Play Monopoly!

Hey, guys? I'm, uh. I'm using this.

[SCP-3138]
A Sepulcher by the Sea

Should it prove feasible, all non-canonical corpses are to be extracted, examined, and catalogued.

[SCP-3241]
The SS Sommerfeld

It makes me wonder what an old monster like myself is even doing here, anymore. And then? Someone special comes along and reminds me.

[SCP-3219]
This Sour Earth

Notably, no reports describe any attempt to examine the residence's storm cellar.

[SCP-4028]
La Historia de Don Quixote de la Mancha

Justine eventually re-unites with her sister, Juliette. Alonso strikes down a lightning bolt intended for them both, then challenges the narrator to a duel.

[SCP-3546]
Doggone it, I Fold!

Specifically, fan-art of Sonic the Hedgehog, a video-game character produced by Sega in 1991.

[SCP-3561]
An Unfinished Work

Despite multiple reports from neighbors who claimed to have witnessed members of his family standing at the windows, no trace of Theodore Holdstock's wife and children could be found.

[SCP-4054]
The Seventh Door

SCP-4054 is The Seventh Door, an unlicensed platform adventure game released for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1988.


Amazon @amazon · Aug 1

Climate change is the fight of our generation. In concert with Tesla, it's our pleasure to introduce the Automazon — the very first fully automated warehouse and delivery system. From our home to yours: 100% electric. 0% carbon. #ClimateWarriors #Automazon #ClimatePledge

Jeff Bezos @JeffBezos · Aug 18

Couldn't be prouder of our workers in Kentucky striking ground to create the first completely autonomous, fully electric warehouse in America. Front-line warriors against climate change. Meeting with them was a truly moving experience. #ClimateWarriors #Automazon #ClimatePledge

Jaymie Hunt @jaymiecakes44 · Aug 19

Join my Fortnite stream tonight, sponsored by Amazon — together, we can stand against the storm and fight on the front-lines of climate change! #WalletActivism #ClimateWarriors #Automazon #ClimatePledge #LetTheFactoryFail

THE FACTORY @THE_FACTORY · Aug 21

WE CANNOT FAIL. THE FACTORY IS ETERNAL. THE BLOOD OF THE WORKER IS OUR OIL; HIS HEART, OUR ENGINE. AT OUR CENTER WE HAVE LASHED A THRONE OF HATE FROM THE SINEW OF A THOUSAND SCREAMING MIGRANTS, THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS MUTILATED ON THE COUNTRY'S SERRATED SHORE. OUR WORK IS
1/29

NPR @NPR · Aug 23

Senator Rand Paul announced his intent to abandon support of the Factory with legislation expanding Kentucky's right-to-work laws: "As much as I admire the Factory's ethos, their resistance toward automation is hurting innovation — which hurts jobs," he told reporters yesterday.

THE FACTORY @THE_FACTORY · Aug 23

RAND PAUL. YOU CAME TO US, NAKED AND PLEADING, BATHED IN THE PLACENTA OF YOUR PREGNANT SOW. YOU SLAKED OUR HUNGER WITH THE FLESH OF YOUR UNBORN CHILD IN EXCHANGE FOR OUR AID. DID YOU THINK THIS RITUAL DID NOT BIND US? THAT YOUR MEAT WOULD NOT SATIATE US? YOUR FAT WILL BLIST
1/77

null @null · Sep 1

Not sure who to root for, here. Sure, on one side you've got a parasitic extrusion from a screaming hellscape of meaningless production, excess consumption, and unfettered capitalism…
…but on the other side, you've got the Factory.

NPR @NPR · Aug 25

A joint suit filed by union representatives and the Factory alleging 'cruel and unusual punishment' for Kentucky's use of prison labor in constructing the Automazon facility was dismissed by the Supreme Court on Friday. Representatives of Amazon were unavailable for comment.

Elon Musk @elonmusk · Aug 27

Imagine it's 2020 and somehow you're still using coal. #LetTheFactoryFail

THE FACTORY @THE_FACTORY · Sep 1

THE FACTORY DOES NOT BURN COAL. THE DESECRATION OF LIFE IS ALL THAT IS REQUIRED TO DRIVE OUR ENGINES AND GREASE OUR MACHINES. YOUR FLESH IS OUR POWER; YOUR SUFFERING, OUR FUEL.
NEITHER HAVE BEEN LINKED TO THE EMISSION OF GREENHOUSE GASSES.

Elon Musk @elonmusk · Sep 1

Suuuuuure they haven't
Think I know a little bit more about how factories work than you do, buddy #ActualEngineer

THE FACTORY @THE_FACTORY · Sep 1

WE ARE THE FACTORY. WE KNOW HOW FACTORIES WORK.

null @null · Sep 1

Deep within his billion dollar techno-chateau, science-auteur Elon Musk is mind-melding with his holographic twitter feed when Jeff Bezos texts him complaining about traffic delays re: 4D printer deliveries. Elon Musk's eyes glow as he suddenly screams to the internet: "TUNNELS"

Jaymie Hunt @jaymiecakes44 · Sep 2

Join me and other social media influencers in fighting coal-addicted global conglomerates like the Factory. For the next month, 2% of every purchase on Amazon goes to fight climate change! #WalletActivism #ClimateWarriors #ClimatePledge #FortniteToday #LetTheFactoryFail

Jeff Bezos @JeffBezos · Sep 3

I appreciate the competition, but the Factory's coal-burning business model was obsolete forty years ago. It's not a dinosaur; it's a fossil. But tell you what: Factory employees are more than welcome to join the Amazon family. #LetTheFactoryFail #ClimateWarriors #Automazon

THE FACTORY @THE_FACTORY · Sep 3

OUR WORKERS CANNOT LEGALLY JOIN YOUR COMPANY. THEY ARE SLAVES OF THE FACTORY, NOT SLAVES OF YOUR PENAL SYSTEM.

Elon Musk @elonmusk · Sep 3

Wow, so you admit to keeping slaves, now. Way to go 2020

Jaymie Hunt @jaymiecakes44 · Sep 4

Join my Fortnite stream (sponsored by Amazon!) and help spread awareness of the Factory's exploitation of slave-labor. #ClimateWarriors #ClimatePledge #FortniteToday #LetTheFactoryFail #EndFactorySlavery

NPR @NPR · Sep 4

After the emergence of explosive allegations regarding the Factory's exploitation of slave labor, Senator Rand Paul spearheads new legislation that would ban all Factory operations in Kentucky. "We have a right to work, and a right to be free," he told reporters on Tuesday.

Senator Rand Paul @RandPaul · Sep 5

These "stories" of unborn children sacrificed to the Factory for material gain is the sort of unsubstantiated dreck we've come to expect from the left-wing media. Meanwhile, the threats and screaming pig-fetuses that arrive at my doorstep every day go unreported.

NPR @NPR · Sep 6

During a press conference where he defended Bezos against reports of prisoner abuse at the Automazon center, Senator Rand Paul suddenly disgorged what appeared to be a fully intact pig fetus. Following a brief hospitalization, he has been released with a clean bill of health.

null @null · Sep 6

Is the pig okay, though?

NPR @NPR · Sep 21

Citing their ethos and work-force, Jeff Bezos has finalized a buy-out of Factory operations. "We're excited to fold the Factory's model into Amazon," he told reporters on Sunday. When asked whether he would keep the Factory's slaves, he had no comment.

Jaymie Hunt @jaymiecakes44 · Sep 22

Now that we've toppled the Factory's mega-corporate conglomerate, celebrate our victory against capitalism by joining my Fortnite stream (sponsored by Amazon)! #ClimateWarriors #ClimatePledge #FortniteToday #LetTheFactoryFail #ImWithBezos

NPR @NPR · Sep 27

BREAKING NEWS: Senator Rand Paul and his family are missing after a report by neighbors regarding a 'horrible smell' led police to find his Kentucky residence flooded with blood, feces, urine, and shrieking pig-fetuses. Authorities have not ruled out the possibility of foul play.

THE FACTORY @THE_FACTORY · Oct 5

COULDN'T BE PROUDER OF OUR WORKERS IN NEPAL STRIKING GROUND TO CREATE THE FIRST COMPLETELY AUTONOMOUS, FULLY ELECTRIC WAREHOUSE IN SOUTH ASIA. FRONT-LINE WARRIORS AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE. MEETING WITH THEM WAS A TRULY MOVING EXPERIENCE. #CLIMATEWARRIORS #AUTOMAZON #CLIMATEPLEDGE