Flashes.
From darkness unto light. Your vision was invaded by sudden brightness which soon displayed blurred faces, whose bodies moved erratically inhuman. You smell the scent of freshly brewed coffee and heard the laughter of voices that you failed to recognize. But one particular voice struck as very familiar. It was warm and gentle.
Another flash and you found yourself walking in circles across a quiet street; brown lights streaked across your vision as if you were strapped onto a comet and flung far away. You heard laughter from that particular voice that now sounded very sweetly in your ears. You suddenly heard a powerful crash of waves around you as you submerge beneath the waters.
The scenery changed, this time you were surrounded by screaming people. The cries varied in pitches, some were high while some were low. Laughter could also be heard among the unison of yells. Wind suddenly blew around you, embracing you in a very cold breeze. You felt your body suspended in the air, your eyes were directly looking at the ground below. You were not prepared for what will happen next when you felt your body plunged downwards in full force. A blood curdling scream escaped your throat, but a soothing touch on your hand suddenly calmed you.
Another scene follows and you found yourself in the dark, staring at the midnight sky. Pinpricks of light danced in the heavens and in one corner of the sky, a falling meteor streaked across. A hand not belonging to yours pointed at it. You turned to its owner and laughter ensued. That familiar laughter, it was genuinely happy and for some reason, made you feel secured. You glanced at the face of your companion and for the first time, you caught a glimpse of their partially incomplete features. They felt happy and content. You hoped that that the scene never ended.
Suddenly, you found yourself in a vehicle. Your companion was holding the wheel and the car was accelerated in a very fast speed. You heard loud screams; an exchange of cursing and insults. The blaring of sirens followed the car but there were no sign of its source. Suddenly, an explosion erupted, a loud crash that made your world spin violently until darkness sealed your vision.
You waited for another scene, but nothing followed. You felt emptiness, an irreplaceable void consuming your heart. You wanted to scream and shout, but found no strength to do so.

The buzzing of alarm clock woke you up. You lazily reached for it and turned it off with a swat from your hand. You felt liquid spilling from your tearducts, which you instinctively wiped away. You reclined on your bed and looked out of the window. It was raining.
You planted both feet on the floor and reached for the tube of pills sitting on the top of your drawer beside the bed. You've looked at it for a few seconds in contemplation whether should you take it or not before you tossed it back to where you grabbed it from, having made a decision.
You stared blankly at the moistened windows and recalled the dreams you've had. It had been years since it started, but it never bothered you at all not even once. In fact, you actually look forward to it every night because the dreams somehow made you feel happy, especially when you remembered the dream sequence of being with someone while you both stare at the night sky.
You tried to remember the face of your companion in your dreams and thought about recreating it in a sketch. However, you were reminded of how badly you drew it, discouraging you. You let out a sigh as you derailed your train of thoughts. The last part briefly shown before you woke up each time disturbed you greatly. It felt like you were experiencing your own death repeatedly, which was impossible because you're alive and you never had an accident.
You stood up and walked around your bed, ignoring the pile of empty pizza boxes on the small round table and the empty beer cans scattered on the couch. You reminded yourself to clean up your apartment room as suggested by your therapist since it "encouraged a clear mind" or something.
You tried to remember the face in your dream again. There was something in that person that draws you to them. It felt like they were your closest friend or lover from a long time ago but you failed to remember since you haven't been in any relationship yet.
However, you felt longing for that same person and you could not explain the sadness you feel every time the dream concluded. It became clear to you how their voice became gradually sad from the beginning of the dream up until the end. You let out a sigh as you boiled the water in the kettle when you noticed a letter between the cupboard kitchen's door. Alerted, you approached the door of your apartment but you noticed that it was still locked, an indication that no intruders trespassed inside.
You frowned as you approached the letter; the scent was sweet and calming. You opened the envelope and unfolded its content.

Hi,
I'm not sure how you are going to receive this, but it was not as important as how am I going to start this letter because I don't really know how. I want to ask how you're doing right now and what have you been up to lately, just like the old times. It just felt very weird writing to you. I remembered how you struggled to talk to me the first time we met. I think it's cute, until I realized how scary it is now, except I was writing. It would have been easier if you're simply here with me…but where did that got us?
Anyway, I'm not going to bring back the bad memories between us. For old time's sake, I simply just want to recall the good memories we had. You may probably not remember this but I hope that you do. I mean, everything just felt like it happened yesterday, you know? And I missed it. I missed the two of us.
I don't know where to start. Should I begin with that time in that small cafe when we're still in the University? Or that one time when you got very drunk that you took a swan dive in the rotunda's fountain? Or maybe that time when you and I rode a rollercoaster and you instinctively clutched my hand out of fear? I could go on haha.
But if you're going to ask me, I will always cherish the moments when we're just alone together. Those eventful nights on your house's rooftop, which at first I was reluctant since it looked dangerous, haha, but believe me, I kept every moment in my heart. How simpler times back then when you and I would just simply gaze at the stars and the city lights, and our pondering at the future ahead of us, or what the names of our children would be. How I hope it would still be possible. How I hope.
If only I could turn back time and prevented losing you, I would have offered my soul in exchange but…there were things in the world that I needed to accept, that I needed to stop caging myself in the past. I wonder how you've managed to cope up with it, I don't know. People may call me crazy for still writing to you, but I don't care, this was my way of grieving. You may not receive the earlier letters that I wrote because I chose not to send it as most of it only contained some unfinished drafts that I never bothered finishing.
February 14, our anniversary. I just cannot get over you, I'm not going to lie. You might receive more letters from me from now on. I know you needed to read it too, or maybe I was just fooling myself. I felt complete emptiness, sadness at the very bottom of my heart. Call me crazy, but I couldn't let go of the idea that somehow, what we felt might just be the same and that you're still around.
I wanted to tell you, please take care of yourself. Don't push yourself too hard. I'm here with you as always, and you're here with me in my heart. Don't think too much about the world. I've been trying to, and I guess I'm doing a good job at it. I missed you so much.
Forgive me for all the things that had happened. If only I could undo what was done. Had I known, I would have savored every second of it before you go.
The last time we met, I may haven't said this but…I love you. You will always be the love of my life.
Take care of yourself.

You folded the letter once more, turned off the stove after hearing the kettle whistling. You let out a sigh for the third time as you returned to the bed and sat, thinking if swallowing meds with beer was a bad idea. However, you felt good after reading it. It felt like you are with the person who always accompanied you in your dreams all this time.
You felt relieved, because finally you will never feel alone in your life.

In another time…
It had been years since their death. However, the visitor could still not forget the memories they had with the person buried six feet beneath. With tearful eyes, the visitor gazed at the tombstone and knelt before it. They extracted an envelope from their jean pocket and, for a few moments, gazed at it lovingly and gave it a kiss.
They placed it at the base of the tombstone. The visitor tried their best to hold back their cry and walked away. The tombstone read: