Yumegemu, Tokushima, Japan
October 31st
The vending machine's coin slot had been blocked by the image of the Virgin Mary for the third time that week. Agent Kichiro Saito considered just sticking his knife under it and peeling it off, but that would probably damage the machine itself.
"Don't have time for this Biohazard bullshit." He grumbled to himself. He began searching a series of flowered plants that dotted the street around the vending machine, until he saw a glimmer of light coming from one. An image of the Virgin Mary was printed on a seal. "Didn't spawn halfway across town for once, thank God."
With that, Agent Saito made his way back to the vending machine and pressed the seal on top of the image. Both of them dissipated, and he was free to put in 500 yen in order to order the apple soda he wanted.
He'd never seen the brand before— it was American, clearly, but he didn't recognize the brand. 'Chapman Cider Soda' sounded interesting, at least.
The bottle opener on the machine had been removed, no doubt to be used as a key to unlock whatever treasure was inside it this week. He shook his head, and used the keys on his key ring instead, taking a long swig of it as he made his way back to his vehicle.
In his van, he picked up the receiver of his radio. "This is Saito in District 10. Nothing out of the ordinary to report."
"You're the last to check in." On the other end of the line, Director Yamauchi sounded relieved. "All right. Make your way back to Site-79, we have some things to discuss before night falls."
"Right." Saito took a swig of the soda, before putting it in his cup holder and driving off down the winding, ever-changing streets. There was a slight fog forming on the pavement, but nothing out of the ordinary for this time of year.
Or so he thought.

Halfway to the site, Saito's van made a horrendous sound, and the engine gave out.
"Damn it all." He put the vehicle in park and exited it. "If I have to solve some kind of crossword puzzle to repair this, I swear—"
He looked in the engine compartment, and scowled as he saw that his engine was missing entirely, instead being replaced by a small, red notebook. "What in the fuck…" He muttered, picking up the notebook. He expected to find a hint inside about whatever yokai took his engine. Instead, he found the text:

He looked in the engine compartment, and scowled as he saw that his engine was missing entirely, instead being replaced by a small, red notebook. "What in the fuck…" He muttered, picking up the notebook. He expected to find a hint inside about whatever yokai took his engine. Instead, he found the text:

He looked in the engine compartment, and scowled as he saw that his engine was missing entirely, instead being replaced by a small, red notebook. "What in the fuck…" He muttered, picking up the notebook. He expected to find a hint inside about whatever yokai took his engine. Instead, he found the text:

He looked in the engine compartment, and scowled as he saw that his engine was missing entirely, instead being replaced by a small, red notebook. "What in the fuck…" He muttered, picking up the notebook. He expected to find a hint inside about whatever yokai took his engine. Instead, he found the text:

It went on like this for a while.

Saito, unnerved, closed the book and put it in his pocket. The air around him made a soft beeping sound as he made his way back into his car. "Uh. Site-79, come in."
«Go ahead, Saito.»
"I… think I've encountered some kind of… weird… thing. I'm not sure how to describe it, but there's fog everywhere, and my engine's missing. There's a weird noteboo-" he looked in his pocket. The notebook was gone. "I'll… call you back."
He looked back in the engine compartment. The notebook had replaced itself. With no engine, Saito would have to walk the rest of the way.
He recognized the street he was on— the ramen shop a few doors down had a puzzle door that let you travel halfway across town, so he could use that, provided he could remember the combination. He entered the shop, expecting to hear the chiming of the bell overhead—
And instead, he saw his own body, sans head, crumple before him as his skull hit the concrete.
[Bad End]

He looked in the engine compartment, and scowled as he saw that his engine was missing entirely, instead being replaced by a small, red notebook. "What in the fuck…" He muttered, picking up the notebook. He expected to find a hint inside about whatever yokai took his engine.
Saito blinked. He looked down at the notebook, then felt around his neck. It was intact. He opened the notebook, and found the same text as before. Before when? He remembered going into the ramen shop, and then…
He lurked down the street, and ducked down as he entered the shop. A blade came from around the corner of the door, at around where Saito's neck would be. His eyes widened as he realized the interior of the shop was red, rusted, and smelled of blood.
He crawled back out of the shop, and made his way back to the van, where he opened the notebook again. The text had changed to read:

He lurked down the street, and ducked down as he entered the shop. A blade came from around the corner of the door, at around where Saito's neck would be. His eyes widened as he realized the interior of the shop was red, rusted, and smelled of blood.

He crawled back out of the shop, and made his way back to the van, where he opened the notebook again. The text had changed to read:

And more nested text. Saito reached into his van and picked up the soda, knocking it back. "Right." He rubbed his face. "It's like Silent Hlll. Those pachinko machines. Nothing too bad." He looked at the bottle, and stowed it in his back pocket, realizing that he shouldn't have been able to do that. "And phantom inventory rules apply. Cool."
Something stirred in the fog around him. He touched the notebook, and decided the ramen shop was a lost cause. It should only be a twenty-minute walk back to Site-79. He started down the street.

There was a movie theater a few minutes down the road. The trouble was, this particular theater was halfway across town. The marquee displayed nonsense characters— they might have been katakana at one point, but now, they were just scribbles.
He knew this theater was a shortcut, as well, like the Ramen Shop, but the puzzle for it was far more arcane— it involved film trivia, of all things, because of course it did. Not anything like Kurosawa would make, naturally, but American films. Action films, naturally. Usually from the 1980's.
The puzzle was on a door that lead to the projectionist's rooms. There were ten questions on it, with different answers for each person. Or there were supposed to be. Saito only saw three. He took another swig of his soda, and read them over.

1) The 2000 Horror Film Final Destination was originally:
a) A novel
b) An episode for the American tv show The X-Files
c) A note scrawled on a napkin in Kichiro Saito's Blood
d) A Nintendo game
2) The word "Red" in the American Horror Film "Red State" refers to:
a) The Color of Blood
b) The color of the main character's dress
c) The American Conservative Party
d) The color your face goes when you watch
3) The word "テラトフィリア"means an attraction to which of these horror movie characters:
a) Sadako
b) The Xenomorph
c) Jason Vorhees
d) Edgar Allen Poe

Saito didn't recognize the word in the third question. It was something in English, written in Katakana. He tried to sound it out. "Ter.. tera… terat…" He scowled.
He knew the answer to the first one from his sister— it was B. The second one he was pretty sure was C, but the third one… at random, he circled D.
The paper rolled back into the door, and it opened into a passageway. It was at this point that Saito realized that there was a red notebook pinned on the wall next to him. He touched it, curious, but didn't open it.
The walked into the Hallway, and felt the mouth that it had turned into crunch around him.
[Bad End]

He looked in the engine compartment, and scowled as he saw that his engine was missing entirely, instead being replaced by a small, red notebook. "What in the fuck…" He muttered, picking up the notebook. He expected to find a hint inside about whatever yokai took his engine.
"Fuck." He rubbed his face. "Movie theater's bad, ramen shop is bad. What other shortcuts are there?"
He started walking in the direction he came from, hoping to get out of the fog in this manner. He found himself in front of a wall of vending machines, blocking the road. All but one of them had a seal on the front, depicting some bizarre figure from the west— a dragon with dozens of eyes on its back, a giant snail, a man with hundreds of hands. The machines extended in both directions, cutting into the buildings on either side. At the center was a machine that sold nothing but the Chapman's Cider Soda.
Hesitant, Saito looked at the prices on the machine. It said "exact change only", and in the coin return slot, there were ten five-hundred yen coins. A single drink cost six-hundred.
One of the buildings near him was a garage. He took up two of the coins, and brought them into the building, finding a van in there that was a near-exact copy of his own. He considered driving it off, but knew better than that at this point.
He made his way to a small apparatus on one of the benches. He didn't know the name of it, but he knew it was used for cutting metal. Saito inserted one of the five-hundred yen coins into the machine, and cut it into fifths.
"This has to be one-hundred yen." He picked up the fifth of coin, and brought it back to the machine. He put it into the vending machine, along with a single five-hundred yen coin, and pressed a button.
The vending machine fell on top of him as he remembered the hundred yen coin in his pocket.
[Bad End]

Saito screamed as his face was cut open by a woman who he lied to about being pretty after she took off a mask to reveal her head was split in twain at the cheeks.
[Bad End]

The house he had taken shelter in for the past three hours was awake, and hungry. He was dragged screaming into a closet by something that may have been a tongue.
[Bad End]

Site-79 was in sight. It was on the horizon. It would be on the horizon until Saito died of thirst three days later.
[Bad End]

He shot himself.
[Bad End]

Kichiro Saito tried burning the notebook. His form faded from existence.
[Bad End]

He got past the theater puzzle after nine tries. On the other side, he should have found solace. But all that was there was a room with a record player and a red notebook.
Shaking, Seito opened the notebook.
Saito? Seito? He didn't know his name anymore. It was written on the inside, surely, somewhere.

It wasn't. All that was there was a record of his failures, and a new place to start making new ones. He threw the notebook across the room, only to find it in the same place after he took his hands from his eyes after three minutes of sobbing.

He threw the notebook across the room, only to find it in the same place after he took his hands from his eyes after three minutes of sobbing.
"This is a game." He gritted his teeth. "There are rules. There has to be a— a solution, a walkthrough, a hint system, something. A hint. I need a hint. I need help." He looked into the empty room. "Help!"
Something glinted in the corner of the room. It was another bottle of the cider soda— its cap was halfway off, and he saw that there was text on the opposite side. He picked it up and saw it read:

You can re-start the game any time by going back to your van and turning the ignition key.

He turned towards the door. Or rather, the wall where the door had been.
He shot himself.
[Bad End]

Keichiro/Kichiro/Kechiro Seito/Saito threw the notebook across the room, only to find it in the same place after he took his hands from his eyes after three minutes of sobbing.
He paced around the room, looking for any seam in the wall, any place where there might be a door, a hole, anything. Any hint, any depression, any seal. Yumegemu operated on the principle that it was a dream game, and games had to be winnable.
Kichiro Seito contemplated the soda in his Phantom Inventory. It was the only item that stayed with him throughout the dozens of reloads. And there was another one in here now. The bottle in here was empty, and the bottle he had was full. What's more, the bottle here was immovable— he could take off the cap, but couldn't lift it.
Shaking, he poured the cider soda from the full bottle into the empty one. Despite his trembling, the soda went in in a steady stream, and when it was full, he heard a buzz and a click.
The soda in his Phantom Inventory vanished, bottle and all, as they were no longer needed. There was an opening on the opposite wall, and at the other end, a light.
He went through.

At the other end of the hallway, a control room sat. At least, that's what Keichiro assumed it was.
A large, grey box sat in the center of the room, surrounded on all sides by a large bay of windows that overlooked Yumegemu's skyline— it was twilight, and the fog was gone. Keichiro could see cars in the streets below, and he could even smell the takoyaki from the stand below being fried. There was the sound of buttons being pressed, and beeping.
Keichiro drew his gun, and ran in to confront his oppressor, the one who had made his life miserable. His heart sank as he saw what was doing this.
A cat sat at the controls, randomly pushing buttons which all had the characters "悲惨" on them. "Hisan". Misery. It was a calico, and pretty cute. Keichiro couldn't bring himself to shoot it— not that his gun would work. He knew his weapon was non-functional, because the cat jumped off the controls and nuzzled against his leg, as the screen on the control panel turned green, and a pair of words were burned into Keichiro's eyes.
[Joke End]
Keichiro Saito laughed as he stumbled to the window.
He got the joke ending.
The joke ending.
Weeks of hell, and he got the joke ending. He laughed, tripping over the cat. The glass of the window gave way, and he laughed all the way onto the takoyaki cart below.

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