bluntfiend has joined.
hetcopogg: Yeah, it got all over him. The whole thing was fucking hilarious.
tiedyeduck: Damn, never would've thought to use a radio like that. Genius
tiedyeduck: Hey Jude
bluntfiend: Hey.
hetcopogg: dont make it bad
hetcopogg: take a sad song
TrainerDP: take a sad song and make it better
kkrule: and make it better
hetcopogg: & make it better
bluntfiend: Ha. Never heard that one before. /s
bluntfiend: What's new?
hetcopogg: nm
TrainerDP: bluntfiend: remember that thing we retrieved a while ago that you said never to talk about?
bluntfiend: Why are you talking about it, I said never to talk about it.
TrainerDP: do you still have it?
bluntfiend: Yes, unfortunately.
TrainerDP: good, ur gonna wanna see this
TrainerDP uploaded file toesplosion2020.pdf 12 mb ⬇

Toe ID: T-3027-74
Toe Classification: Puntera
Toe Status:

Hallux (Big)
Prolonged (Long)
Medial (Middle)
Circuit (Fourth)
Miniscule (Little)

Sinister (Left)
Halyna Ieva
Obtained
Obtained
Unknown
Obtained (Subsequently Detonated)

Dextrous (Right)
Unknown
Obtained
Detonated
Halyna Ieva
Halyna Ieva

Usage: Potentially useful weapons of mass destruction.1 Simply put the fewer toes the Faithful Heretic has, the better.
Verbose: Toes collected from an as of yet unidentified anomalous human, presumably now part of her Halkost. This human's primary capabilities seemed to be centered around combustion, and for some reason this applies to their toes as well. In short, each toe can be detonated through various means like a bomb. It's believed the more inward position of the toe, the more dangerous it becomes, with the hallux toes being the most potentially destructive. A single Hallux detonation is estimated to encompass a blast radius of potentially ████ miles, effectively lifting the veil and causing a devastating amount of casualties if detonated over land. At this time, retrieving these toes is considered a top priority.
Contemporary Concerns: At the time of harvesting, we were only able to retrieve one toe, the sinister miniscule, the Karcist was able to take the rest. When we were safely away from her, the toe was detonated via unknown methods, presumed to be some error in those handling it. The surviving members of the party were careful to not touch the toes when bringing them back. Recently, our organization backed by a few allies attempted to retrieve the toes. Although not successful in retrieving every toe, the mission was partially successful, in both the retrieval of toes and information. However, several of our conspirators were caught escaping with the toes by her followers, and many perished in the explosion caused by what was later determined to be the dextrous medial. Strangely, at the time of recovery, two toes were missing; it is currently believed the toes are not within the possession of the Karcist and that they haven't previously been detonated by her. Of note, the Dextrous Hallux toe is missing. We are currently expending as many resources as we have into discovering what happened to that toe and retrieving it.

Footnotes
1. No, I'm not kidding. I sincerely wish I was. We lost several good men to the miniscule alone.

bluntfiend: I'll be damned.
hetcopogg: lol #toesplosion2020
bluntfiend: Where'd you find this?
TrainerDP: got it off the server of some mekhanite
kkrule: #toesplosion2020
tiedyeduck: #toesplosion2020
TrainerDP: taking down this karcist seems to be a joint effort between this guy and maybe the hand? idk
lesbian_gengar set the topic:
Official chat of GAW | The fuck is a gender? | Dr. Wondertainment can eat my entire ass | gamer? i hardly know her | home of the eternal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | Be Gay, Do Crimes, 420, 69 | supercalifragilisticantidisestblishmentarianism | #toesplosion2020
TrainerDP: point is, i told you those toes were valuable
bluntfiend: Nice try,
bluntfiend: But I'm not super jazzed your foot fetish almost got us blown up.
bluntfiend: Keep it in your pants next time.

/

toejamcon2020

Easy-Fake Oven