Iris Dark sat at her desk tapping the laptop keys and she was verrrrry fine and for shure not drunk! Why would she need to be drunk, nothing was wrrrong at all. The whiskyyyyyyy? Naw, that's just… that's just moral support. its so nice and warm in here too and the fire makes such nice crackles!!! Shet ook another swig of the yummy firewater! It tasted so good and made the bad scary thoughts go away. everything is okay.
Skitter walked in with an accusatory finger oh no this is gonna suuuuck ughhhhhh. He grabbed her computer and threw it to the ground.
"You need to stop getting on the internet when you're drunk, or stop getting drunk when you're on the internet. Jeez, this is… ugh."
"No, It's, Uh, I'm Fine. Everything's Fine. What Are YOu TalKing About."
"Oh god. You thought about last year didn't you."
Iris started crying.
"i'm trying to change this shit? people from the outside don't get how much bullshit we gotta put up with, and if uccking hate it, and, and -"
"Okay, alright. You need to sleep this off. Come on."
"shuddup imma automate you outtuva job lookat this beep boop hahaaaa"
iris pressed a button on her kickass robot arm and it did some magical wireless technology and a door did go woosh! all the way up, that was hidden before. and behind it was a robot!!!
"look i made a robot you! now you can go away"
the robot then said "IRIS I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR BEHAVIOUR YOU HAVE BEEN VERY BAD BEEP BOOP"
"wow this was definitely a value added enterprise. well worth the seweet couple mil I dropped on him, economics is funnnnn. you can go now. byebye!!!"
iris waved her mechatronic arm but it was kinda laggy.
Skitter looked at the scarecrow in the closet with "MEAN" scrawled on the bluetooth speaker it had for a head.
He lifted it up, walked across the room, and threw it in the fireplace.
He turned around at his sobbing, unsober business partner.
"Look, you know why you're not supposed to look at replies, yeah?"
Iris nodded.
"because i get like this."
"That's part of it, yeah. Hey, come on, let's ignore the internet for tonight, okay? How about we head out somewhere nice, grab a bite to eat?"
"but whaddabout the covid i gotta stay inside"
"We'll wear masks."
"but whaddabout the riots skit! were capitulists! they all hate us!!"
Iris stopped and stared into space.
"they hate me. ugh they just say stuff which is like, technically true but they dont even give any context to it??? we get shit on for stuff before we wereborn and as much as i wanna change them the time gods said theyd kill me if i time travelld again and it ruins my fuckign day and i hate it. i had shit i was gonna do tonight skit!"
Skitter sighed, sat, and stared in silence.
"i nwas gonna go to meetings and stuff! i was gonna act all prim and propper but i fucking hate it, i do, it sucks skit, i just want to sit inside at a computer and never talk to people again and send them some of those photos that make their brains explode and then sit here and look at the things that make me forget all the bad things in the world"
"Visual amnestics."
"no i mean like kitten videos"
Skitter massaged his temples.
"Look, okay. Tell you what. I'll go get some ice cream. You look up some kitten videos. We can sit here and watch them together and eat ice cream until you fall asleep. Okay?"
"…okay"
"What kind of ice cream do you want?"
"bluebry."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
skitter walked out the door and iris grabbed her computer and closed the window that was saying mean things. she pulled up firefox and opened a new tab and went to youtube and there was a ping from the tab she wasn't supposed to look at but she was being good! so she typed in 'kitten videos' into youtube but the tab went ping again. what if someone was saying something bad about her? i mean she had to defend herself right. so she switched tabs and read the message and realised that the comment was trying to tear her soul out of her flesh. fuck, she shouldn't have looked at this aaaaaAAAAA"AAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Skitter ran back in with a pint of blueberry flavoured ice cream. Iris' eyeballs were rolling back as she heavily convulsed and screamed.
"Goddamnit Iris it was one fucking MINUTE"
Skitter grabbed the laptop, folded it, and smashed it out the window. He grabbed Iris' head, pulled his phone out, he just needed to get the generic amnestic image and it should fix it, Iris' robotic arm flailed and knocked the phone to the ground, Skitter yanked it out of the socket and threw it to the other side of the room where its flailing was "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" while still remotely controlled by a seizing Iris, out of his fucking way, grabbed his phone from the floor, Iris had flopped to the side, he pulled the image up but her eyes were rolling back she needs to LOOK at the thing or it does nothing okay fuck it Skitter tried to steady Iris' skull with his fingers and then as carefully as he could while "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" she was moving so much place his thumb against the whites of her eyes and rotate the eyeball downwards within the socket oh god it felt horrible and then Iris' irises locked into place on the amnestic image and she had seen it but still "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" okay then Skitter switched hands and grabbed the other eyeball but Iris was more coordinated in her resistance now "AAAA WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY EYEBALL"
"Oh. Sorry, yeah, that uh…"
"OH GOD THIS IS THE WORST AAAAAAAAA"
"Okay, hey, look at this."
Iris glanced at the generic amnestic image and forgot that Skitter had touched her eyeball. She blinked a few times and rubbed the eyeball that Skitter had touched.
"oh goddamnit i looked didnt i im sorry i thought it would be okay. i mean i had the plugin"
"Yeah, well, that's a Day Zero you can look into tomorrow. For now, ice cream and cat videos. Okay?"
"yeah okay."
"Alright. Come on, let's get… ah. Um."
Skitter felt the cold breeze from the broken window.
"Let's watch it on my phone, hey?"

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Maybe Capitalism Is A Bad Idea
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