Who am I? I wish I could just tell you.
Who am I? I am a curious god. I wanted to discover what made you mortals tick. I was surprised when I found that many of you were immortal. Whether you gained this through fame, through history, or through some other means, I do not know. I did meet a very interesting immortal though. He seemed to be a shapeshifter, and I would never see him with the same body twice. I was very interested in what you mortals are. Sadly, I had to return to my home. I left a few of my personal effects in your care. I didn't mean to, but it couldn't be helped.
Who am I? I am a vengeful god. I came to your pitiful plane to destroy and subjugate you. I brought artifacts from my home and let them infiltrate your system. They gathered information for me, which I then used to attack you. But you fought back. I retreated and had to find help. I asked another god whose existence was known to few, but his anger was known to all. When we attacked you again, you managed to defeat and capture my ally. You are a strong opponent, but I will defeat you. Expect my return and fear it.
Who am I? I am God. I have lost contact with you, my creations, over the past few centuries. I returned to see what happened. I chose a venue that best represented what humanity is. Love and hate, fear and faith, war and peace, dedication and apathy, death and life all condensed into a single organization. I spent quite some time there, studying humanity, but now I have left. I understand that I will no longer be a supreme power on earth. My time is over, but I'll still watch on occasion.
Who am I? I'm from another reality. I'm like your own 507, randomly appearing in various realities and dimensions. Evidently in this reality, I worked for the Foundation. This reality was nice, I liked it. But, as my nature forces me to, I was moved to another dimension. I find strange objects in my travels, from reality to reality, but I had gathered too many to keep all at once. I filed them away as SCP objects, but I plan on returning to take them to a better and safer place.
Who am I? I am a foolhardy computer genius. I sit at my computer all day, being a dick on various forums, and trolling in various games. I have an extensive knowledge when it comes to computers, and I may have hacked one or two in my day. I found a few of your documents, after an attack from one of your enemies left a hole for me to breach. I thought it'd be funny to add my name to a few of the reports. I even added a fictitious one about an invincible man.
Who am I? I am a sleeper agent. I worked for the Chaos Insurgency, or whatever you're calling us these days. I was given my job and then sent as bait to your Foundation. You quickly snapped me up and gave me a good position. Over time, I gained responsibility. I waited and waited, until our little fuzzy courier activated me. Once activated, I grabbed what I could, took any information I found, and left.
Who am I? I am an O5. I was a doctor at one point in my life. I researched Scips, I did experiments, and I risked my life in the name of safety and science. I worked my way up through the ranks, until the day I was killed. Or promoted. Or whatever you want to call it. I tragically died in a lab experiment gone wrong. The next day, I woke up in an office. I was led to a computer, and they gave me a briefing on what I was, who I was, and what I had to do. Anyone who had ever known me went through selective memory therapy to get rid of any memory of me. They edited documents to expunge or delete my name, but they did miss a few.
Who am I? I am a prank. A few of the rookie researchers thought it would be funny to stick my name on a few documents. They did this for many years. They all got promoted to various positions. One even got promoted to a site director. He decided that it would be a hoot to give this fake doctor an actual office. The O5s learned about this and sent him on his way. They never removed my name from any of the documents though. I have no idea why.
Who am I? I am Ethical. I worked and toiled for many years with little thanks given in return. I was later given a rather large project. While working on the project, nothing seemed to go my way. Chemicals spilled, items were misplaced, incorrect products were delivered. I almost gave up. I eventually finished the project with acceptable results. I gave the results to my superior, and he told me that I was being moved for unknown reasons. I was shipped to some place in France. There, I was told that I had been accepted into the Ethics Committee, and that one project was my test. I'll be damned if I can figure out what that project had to do with Ethics, but I'll live with it. Since I was now with the Ethics Committee, my name was stripped from the official records, my office was cleared, and anyone who knew me forgot me due to the Committee's memory selection process.
Who am I? I am an urban legend of sorts. Whenever something went wrong in an experiment, I was the one who caused the problem. Granted, I didn't exist, but humans always like having a scapegoat. I drifted from site to site. Sometimes, I was even in multiple areas at once. I was a diligent, but clumsy, worker in some places, and a demon in others. They say that over time, a myth can become reality if enough people believe in it. I was just such a case. Sometimes, in quiet laboratories, I would whisper in the lone scientist's ear. Or maybe, I would accidentally knock a vial over. I would switch the order of sheets in a person's hand, or put my name on a document. I took pictures with people, and sometimes had one-sided conversations with people. It was all great fun. Sadly, higher-ups heard wind of my antics, and put a stop to it.
Who am I? I am nothing. I was just a regular doctor trying to neutralize a dangerous object. The object's defense mechanism kicked in, and both me and the object ceased to exist. Life's a bitch, but I'll get over it.
Who am I? I am Dr. Gideon, SCP-431. I worked for the Foundation, but I never worked for them. I was a really nice guy, if I existed. I paid my taxes and was paid with money that never existed. I worked hard on projects that were never started, and on a few that did. I befriended people who never knew me. I posed for pictures that were never taken. I am an anomaly. I shouldn't exist, yet I do. I exist in your files, and in the impossible corners of reality, nowhere else.
Who am I? I don't know.