by Captain Kirby

Pitter.
Sarah walked around her block of the Wonder World Housing ComplexitoriumTM. She was having trouble sleeping, and after she turned over for the umpteenth time, she decided it would be better to just get up and get her day started instead of laying around in her bed. Besides, it's difficult to be a busy-body if your body was stuck in bed.
Not many people are up just before the crack of dawn, partly because the city-wide alarm was set for 7:30 on the dot, and partly because no one in their right mind is up at this time. So, Sarah got the sidewalk, the block, and the park nearby, all to herself.
Patter.
It was quite a nice park. It had a long, winding path around a rainbow-colored pond. The pond was populated by fish that grew organic bowties on them, which were introduced as part of the Littler Misters program. These were all Mr. Fish Junior. Sarah always felt a little shimmer of pride whenever she saw the pond. She had designed them after all.
But then, as quickly as she was reminded of her accomplishment, Sarah felt some sort of pit form in her stomach. She still hadn't gotten used to it. It was one of those feelings that you weren't supposed to have often. It's not part of the Wondertainment Mental Health RegimenTM which she had been ordered to follow. It called for smiles, smiles, and more smiles. So, she combated whatever was welling up inside her with a weak flexing of her facial muscles.
Pitter patter.
But today, today was going to be different. Sarah was going to go back to the old times, like when she was designing miniature clowns in the Biological Mistereering Department. Back to old times of being a busy-body. Back to old times without these weird feelings she kept having.
Because Sarah had an interview today. As they've always said, a new job is like a new life. Sara felt ready to shuffle off this mortal coil and move onto another. Preferably the coil of a slinky, since those always knew how to move and have fun.
Pitter patter pitter patter.
Sarah took a seat on a bench in the park and just stared off into the pond. She wanted to calm her nerves. It was just an interview. No need to be nervous. She was just going to get another job, and her life would be back to normal.
It was then that Sarah noticed the disturbances in the pond. A ripple here, a ripple there.
Pitter patter.
A rain drop struck Sarah on the head. She froze. The City-o-matic Sprinkler SystemTM wasn't on.
Pitter patter pitter patter.
What was happening?
Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter.
Sarah got up from the bench and tried to run. Her skirt didn't make it easy on her. At one point she heard a small rip as her leg extended further than it had before. She took advantage of it and ran even faster.
Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter.
It wasn't fast enough.
By the time she had made it back to her Wonder World Housing ComplexitoriumTM building, she was entirely drenched. Her face paint was a mess, the eye shadow leaking to look like she had been crying. Her skirt was torn. Her nice dress shirt was soaked.
She just stood in the front lobby, and took deep breaths. The sun had peaked up. It was 7:30. The city-wide alarm began:
"Gooooood Morning Wonder World, tee em. Today, it seems the clouds have brought a-uh… a little surprise for us! We uh— well we're looking into what the issue is. However, our top scientists at the Shade-ology department are on it as we speak! In the mean time, remember to bring your Water Repellant Clothes and Wonderbrella with you today while we fix our high-altitude leakage problem!"
Pitter patter.
Sarah collapsed.
Rain.
It had to rain today of all days.
It hadn't naturally rained in Wonder World!TM in at least a decade, if not more. Not since they installed the more easily maintained and controlled sprinkler-system.
And then the one day when Sarah needed to look her best and and brightest and everything it just—
"It just had to rain."
The pit in her stomach returned with a vengeance. She felt like she was going to vomit. It just built and built there, eventually moving up to her throat, and then to her face. It leaked out of her eyes as droplets. It leaked out of her mouth as sobs. She tried to hide it with her hands, but she just got paint all over them.
Pitter patter pitter patter.
The lobby grew busier. People who were prepared for the weather filled the area on their way to their daily commute. Some of them ignored Sarah. Others shot her concerned looks. One actually went so far as to call security, who came and forced her to go back to her room. But no one commented on her tears. When people saw them, they just looked confused. Sarah's face just didn't make sense to them.
Sarah didn't care. Not then, anyways. Maybe she'd care later. But it's not like she had anywhere to be until the afternoon, and she never talked to her neighbors much anyways. She much preferred the fish in the lake.
Pitter patter.

Dear Sarah "Smiles" O'Malley,
I am sorry to inform you that we cannot hire you for the position at the Wondertainment Pet-ology Department.
Our decision ultimately was not due to your qualifications. Your resumé and past accomplishments speak to your skill as a biological toy-smith. Instead, it was due to your lack of progress with the Wondertainment Mental Health RegimenTM. It appears that you have not remedied the emotional problems that cropped up at your last job.
Specifically, your inability to maintain a positive and friendly demeanor, which is imperative for a productive work-environment, was demonstrated the morning of your interview when security was called to remove you from the premises for emotional instability.
We hope that you are able to return to working condition as soon as possible. Remember, when unnecessary feelings begin to pop up again, you can combat them with Smiles, Smiles and More Smiles!
We will be happy to consider you once again in 300 days time.
- Wondertainment Human Resources

uncle nicolini, chandra, rumetzen, stallmantic