Anyway, congratulations on your promotion. I can tell you                                                                                                                            
To: cogneatohazzrdWEBSPIDERS NO NO@WEBSPIDERS GO HOMEazmail.com
From: lizpd2422LEAVE THE SERVERS ALONE@PICK ON SOMEBODY ELSEmailboxes.net
Subject: Re: Promotion

Hey, Stan!
It's great to hear your son's doing better. I understand it was pretty touch-and-go for a while. Just make sure he gets plenty of fluids, okay? Myra has promised to keep him in her prayers.
Anyway, congratulations on your promotion. I can tell you the job isn't easy. SCP-2422 may not be the MOST difficult bunch to deal with, but some of them can be quite the handful some of the time.
So, guess what. As Project Director, you get brand new Level 4 Clearance! You know what that means: you have a lot of reading to do, mister.
As you know, we do a LOT of interviews with the members of 2422. I'm not going to make you read all of them; most of them are really boring, anyway. I'm just going to attach a couple of transcripts we've deemed important to read to have a complete understanding how these people work.
You'll recognize the second one; an edited version of it is attached to the standard article concerning 2422. This one, though, is complete. All the expunged data is there. There's a lot of it, too.
Since I'm technically not the Project Director anymore, there are a couple of things that have been blacked out in my copies of these files – just a couple of names, not super important stuff. If you really need to know those names you can look in your own copies when you get back to work. For now, the names don't appear close enough to each other to be confusing. You're smart. You'll be fine.
All the files are compressed and attached below. Happy reading and good luck in your new job!
Sincerely,
Lizzie
Former SCP-2422 Project Director
Secure. Contain. Protect.

2422_Interviews_For_Stan.zip

8 files found:

Re: Home
Re: Joy
Re: Truth
Re: Love
Recordings
Re: God
Re: Birth
Notes

Interviewed: SCP-2422-A
Interviewer: Dr. Welsch
Foreword: The following interview occurred as part of the routine psychological evaluations administered regularly to all members of SCP-2422. SCP-2422-A does not typically exhibit any strong emotion.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Welsch: Hello, SCP-2422-A.
SCP-2422-A: Hello, ma'am. How are you today?
Dr. Welsch: I am doing well, 2422-A. How are you?
SCP-2422-A: Can't complain.
Dr. Welsch: That's good to hear. How are you liking the facility?
SCP-2422-A: Oh, ma'am, it's wonderful. It's where I and my family are meant to be, you know.
Dr. Welsch: I do.
SCP-2422-A: I'm so glad you've allowed us to stay here. You have provided for us and allowed us to provide.
Dr. Welsch: We're happy to have you.
SCP-2422-A: I'm just– my purpose in life is to please the people around me. Me and the rest of my family, it's what we do. I'm so glad we've made you happy. You let us fulfill our purpose, and I'm so grateful.
Dr. Welsch: Tissue?
[SCP-2422-A blows its nose]
SCP-2422-A: I'm sorry. I'm not usually this emotional.
Dr. Welsch: Don't worry about it. You're fine.
SCP-2422-A: Wandering Father gave us a purpose but you've given us a way to fulfill it. We are forever in your debt. You allow us to provide.
Dr. Welsch: You are very welcome. I'm glad you're happy.
SCP-2422-A: My family's my responsibility, you know? I have to protect them. But now here you are, protecting all of us. It's a real weight off my chest.
Dr. Welsch: We're happy to help. If you don't mind my asking, what exactly would you need protection from?
SCP-2422-A: Doctor, you of all people should know the world is a very dangerous place. You're an intelligent person. Very intelligent, actually. You know more and more nasty, inexplicable things pop up every day. Until we came here, it was my responsibility to provide a shelter for my family against those things. You – the Foundation – are our shelter. You provide for us.
Dr. Welsch: Oh. Okay. Well, we're happy to have you.
SCP-2422-A: You fulfill our purpose. You allow us to provide. Thank you.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: The word "provide" seems to have taken on a significant meaning for SCP-2422-A. Personnel are to record any use of that word by it in casual conversation.

Interviewed: SCP-2422-C
Interviewer: Dr. Welsch
Foreword: Dr. Welsch made a request to have an interview with SCP-2422-C to ensure the amended containment procedures as of 11/██/20██ – including the administration of antidepressants to SCP-2422-C without its knowledge – was effective. Her request was approved, but the interview conducted produced no pertinent information. However, SCP-2422-C subsequently requested regular meetings with Dr. Welsch, as a sort of therapy. These sessions are recorded for the purposes of record-keeping. They almost universally contain no information of interest. On 3/██/20██, however, SCP-2422-C revealed new information concerning the nature of SCP-2422.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Welsch: Hello, SCP-2422-C. How have you been this week?
SCP-2422-C: Okay, I guess. How have you been?
Dr. Welsch: I've been just fine. Thank you for asking.
SCP-2422-C: Hey, how many other people are here?
Dr. Welsch: I beg your pardon?
SCP-2422-C: Oh, as I was being escorted here today I passed this boy coming the other way. He looked like he was talking to someone walking beside him, but no one was there. Is he anomalous, too? I knew there were lots of things contained here but I didn't realize there were other people. Am I allowed to see them?
Dr. Welsch: Your current containment procedures don't allow for any interaction with other humanoids. That's not typically allowed as a rule.
SCP-2422-C: Damn. Okay.
Dr. Welsch: I could try to get an order to allow you to talk to some, if you want. The one you're talking about is SCP-2240-1, and he's actually a very sweet young man. I could probably arrange some time for you two to hang out.
SCP-2422-C: Could you? That would be really sweet. Thank you so much.
Dr. Welsch: You're very welcome. Have you been eating more?
SCP-2422-C: A little, yeah. I still don't have much of an appetite.
Dr. Welsch: I see. Well, that happens sometimes with teenagers.
SCP-2422-C: Really? I thought teenagers were supposed to be hungry, like, all the time.
[Both pause]
Dr. Welsch: I am certainly glad you've been feeling better. Do you have any idea why–
SCP-2422-C: No, you're not.
Dr. Welsch: I'm sorry?
SCP-2422-C: Why are you so nervous?
[Dr. Welsch pauses]
Dr. Welsch: Crap.
SCP-2422-C: If you're going to lie to me, don't look me in the eyes. I know you have mom put stuff in my food, so chill out.
Dr. Welsch: They're standard commercial antidepressants. They're for your own good.
SCP-2422-C: Just like everything else here, right?
Dr. Welsch: What do you mean?
SCP-2422-C: Sorry. That was mean. My mood hasn't been getting better.
Dr. Welsch: Appetite suppression is a side effect of these particular meds. I should have realized the putting them in your food wouldn't be productive.
SCP-2422-C: Wow. That's kind of a royal fuck-up. I would probably just be glad it didn't happen with one of the other things in here.
Dr. Welsch: [laughs] Yeah, I guess so.
SCP-2422-C: 'Cause, man, some of those things are friggin' scary.
Dr. Welsch: Do they bother you?
SCP-2422-C: Sometimes. They bother all of us sometimes.
Dr. Welsch: Really? Why haven't you mentioned it before? We could have soundproofed your cells or–
SCP-2422-C: We aim to please, remember? Most people aren't pleased when they're given extra work to do.
Dr. Welsch: If you're unhappy, we can do something about it.
SCP-2422-C: We want to leave. To get away. That would make us happy.
Dr. Welsch: The note 2422-A gave us said that you couldn't be separated, and it's our responsibility to keep you here.
SCP-2422-C: We all hate this place.
Dr. Welsch: Well, your family certainly seems satisfied with their lifestyle.
SCP-2422-C: Do you really think that?
Dr. Welsch: Well, they haven't given us any indication otherwise.
SCP-2422-C: We're programmed not to.
Dr. Welsch: By Wandering Father?
SCP-2422-C: Yes, by him.
Dr. Welsch: Then why are you so unhappy? Aren't you fulfilling your purpose?
SCP-2422-C: None of us asked for this. We were made to make people happy, but none of us want to, really. Wandering Father gave us a purpose, and then he gave us about three-quarters of a free will. We feel compelled to make others happy, but we don't enjoy it.
Dr. Welsch: But why don't you enjoy making others happy? Do you not enjoy being kind?
SCP-2422-C: Not when we have no choice.
[Both pause]
SCP-2422-C: Look, you have to see what we do when no one's around. I know you have cameras in our rooms.
Dr. Welsch: We haven't noticed anything unusual.
SCP-2422-C: You haven't seen my parents after they go to bed?
Dr. Welsch: They have a habit of concealing themselves entirely by their covers. We've figured it's best to allow them a small measure of privacy.
SCP-2422-C: Oh my God, you think they're having sex?
Dr. Welsch: Well, we assumed–
SCP-2422-C: I guarantee you neither of them have had sex in their lives. They hide themselves because they don't want you to see them crying.
[Both pause]
Dr. Welsch: You mean they–
SCP-2422-C: They don't like it any more than I do. They just care more about hiding it.
Dr. Welsch: 2422-C, I'm–
SCP-2422-C: You're sorry. I know. Frankly, it's not good enough.
Dr. Welsch: Is there anything I can say?
SCP-2422-C: Not really.
[Both pause]
SCP-2422-C: You know, I would have slit my wrists already if I didn't know it would cause you mountains of grief.
Dr. Welsch: You're really suicidal?
SCP-2422-C: Wouldn't you be?
[Dr. Welsch pauses]
Dr. Welsch: I'm going to get you different antidepressants as soon as this session is over. Ones without the appetite suppression.
SCP-2422-C: They won't help.
Dr. Welsch: Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, one which antidepressants are made to fix–
SCP-2422-C: Just like I'm made to fix 'UnJoy,' right? It's not the chemicals that cause it, it's the situation. This entire fucking place causes it. Hell, it's my existence that causes it. Dad says I should be grateful I didn't turn out like the others, but sometimes I wish I did. The others were euthanized.
Dr. Welsch: Others? What others?
SCP-2422-C: Wandering Father's failed projects. Some of them were pretty horrific.
Dr. Welsch: What were they like?
SCP-2422-C: Sorry, I'm not at liberty to say. You should ask my brother. He has a little bit less of a filter.
Dr. Welsch: You're not at liberty to say?
SCP-2422-C: It's not in my programming. Hey, I'm tired and really angry at you, and I can tell you're upset, too. Let's end this session here before I make you depressed, too. Okay?
[Dr. Welsch pauses]
Dr. Welsch: Fine.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Following this interview, Dr. Welsch went on a two week leave for mental heath purposes. The decision whether or not to allow SCP-2422-C and SCP-2240-1 to come into contact is still pending.

Interviewed: SCP-2422-B
Interviewer: Dr. Cardinal
Foreword: The following transcript is of a routine interview with SCP-2422-B, to ensure its mental health was in stable condition. This is the only recorded case of SCP-2422-B articulating significant distress while under the supervision of the Foundation.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Cardinal: Good afternoon, 2422-B.
SCP-2422-B: Good afternoon, Doctor. How are you?
Dr. Cardinal: I'm doing well, thank you. How are you?
SCP-2422-B: I can't complain.
Dr. Cardinal: I see. Have you been getting all the food you've requested?
SCP-2422-B: We have what we need.
Dr. Cardinal: If you'd like more, it could certainly be arranged.
SCP-2422-B: Please, Doctor, we don't want to burden the Foundation.
Dr. Cardinal: Seriously. If you want more, just ask. It's no trouble at all.
SCP-2422-B: We have what we need. You don't need to worry. You provide more for us than we could have ever hoped.
Dr. Cardinal: How has your family been doing?
SCP-2422-B: We're content. We love the Facility. -D's been really happy recently – he's focusing on Biology this month in school and he's reading about snakes right now. He loves every second of it. Thank you for the textbooks, by the way.
Dr. Cardinal: Of course. Everyone deserves a good education.
SCP-2422-B: That they do. We're so glad you've been able to provide that.
Dr. Cardinal: It couldn't happen without you. You are a fantastic mother to those children.
SCP-2422-B: Thank you, Doctor. That means a lot.
Dr. Cardinal: Tissue?
SCP-2422-B: No. No, thank you. I don't want to waste your resources.
Dr. Cardinal: It's not a waste. We're here to provide for you, remember? Go ahead.
[He slides a tissue box towards SCP-2422-B.]
SCP-2422-B: No, thank you. Really. I'm fine. You don't need to help me.
[SCP-2422-B slides the box back towards Dr. Cardinal.]
Dr. Cardinal: 2422-B, can I ask you a question?
SCP-2422-B: Of course, Doctor. That's why you bring me to these meetings every week, isn't it? To ask me questions?
[Dr. Cardinal laughs.]
Dr. Cardinal: I suppose so.
SCP-2422-B: Well, go on, then.
Dr. Cardinal: 2422-B, how do you really feel?
SCP-2422-B: I'm sorry?
Dr. Cardinal: The reason I asked about the food is because I noticed you haven't been eating. You refuse help when it's offered and feel our resources are wasted on you. Those behaviors are all textbook warning signs of depression.
SCP-2422-B: What?
Dr. Cardinal: Your daughter has already been diagnosed with clinical depression. While the disease is not genetic, certain studies have shown that people can be genetically predisposed to be at higher risk, so I would like to make sure you're alright.
SCP-2422-B: No. No, I'm fine. I just– I just want to make people happy.
Dr. Cardinal: Alright, then. You know what would make me happy?
SCP-2422-B: What?
Dr. Cardinal: If you told me the truth about how you feel and why. It doesn't have to leave this room if you don't want it to, but I need to know. Please, could you do that for me?
[SCP-2422-B does not speak for forty-six seconds.]
SCP-2422-B: I've been having dreams for awhile now. Dreams about being cut open. Having my guts rearranged, put in all the wrong places, then being sewn up and forced to go on with my life. I feel like a shell. I feel like I'm the only one who wants to see any good in the world.
Dr. Cardinal: I don't understand what you mean.
SCP-2422-B: My daughter hates the world and everything in it, including me. We used to be so close, and now she won't talk to me at all. She's sad all the time and the medicine you give her doesn't help.
Dr. Cardinal: We're trying new medication–
SCP-2422-B: And then my son – my beautiful baby boy – is retarded.
[Dr. Cardinal winces.]
SCP-2422-B: Sorry. You don't like that word.
Dr. Cardinal: My nephew's autistic, too. I know it's hard.
SCP-2422-B: But he had so much potential– he could have changed the world. I know he could have. He was so intelligent when he was younger and now he's almost thirteen and he sits on the floor all day reading books designed for eight-year-olds full of cutesie rhymes explaining that snakes have bones just like other reptiles. And then my husband–
[SCP-2422-B breaks off and begins to sob. Dr. Cardinal offers it the tissue box again and it blows its nose.]
Dr. Cardinal: What did your husband do?
SCP-2422-B: My husband is trying to sleep with one of your researchers.
[Dr. Cardinal pauses.]
Dr. Cardinal: What?
SCP-2422-B: Last week, when I got back from this meeting, he met me by the door and he kissed me like he always does. He asked me how it went and I looked in his eyes and I saw it all. That boy ██████ came by to deliver -C's medication and he flirted with my husband like he always does. You know, I always thought if the boy was gay that was his business and if flirting made him happy he could flirt. But he delivered my daughter's medication while I was here talking to you and this time when he flirted, my husband kissed him.
Dr. Cardinal: ██████ kissed 2422-A?
SCP-2422-B: No, my husband kissed him. And just like that I was alone. I thought of all people my husband would put my happiness above everyone else's, but I was wrong. I thought we had a good thing going. We might've built something like a life in here. I should have realized it couldn't work. If he's trying to make that boy happy, then I'm proud of him. I just wish sometimes I could feel happy, too.
Dr. Cardinal: 2422-B, if what you say is true, ██████ should get reprimanded for this. No matter the circumstances, his actions are considered sexual assault.
SCP-2422-B: Please don't fire him. He's a good kid. He just wants to be happy.
Dr. Cardinal: Why didn't we see this happen on the cameras?
SCP-2422-B: We've found the places your cameras don't see. There are blind spots everywhere. You're not as airtight as you think.
Dr. Cardinal: I'll make sure this gets fixed immediately.
SCP-2422-B: Don't bother. It's a band-aid solution.
Dr. Cardinal: It's a fixing of a serious security hazard.
SCP-2422-B: Jesus, you still think we're dangerous? Haven't we proven enough to you? Our purpose is to make the world a happier place! If we break out, the entire Foundation will be unhappy. We'll fail.
Dr. Cardinal: I'm just following protocol.
SCP-2422-B: Protocol. Right.
Dr. Cardinal: I'll speak with 2422-A and then see if I can get you some antidepressants, too.
SCP-2422-B: Don't bother. They won't work for me any more than they work for my daughter. This is an awful place. It's cold and it's septic and it's full of horrible things. I wish I had never met Wandering Father.
Dr. Cardinal: What do you mean?
SCP-2422-B: I'm sorry?
Dr. Cardinal: What do you mean you “met” Wandering Father?
SCP-2422-B: I didn't say that. You must have misheard me. Don't worry, Doctor. It happens to the best of us.
[Both pause.]
SCP-2422-B: I'd best be getting home. My husband will be wondering where I am. It was nice talking to you, Doctor. I'm glad we have these meetings. You have a good day, okay?
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Dr. Cardinal's request to have antidepressants administered to SCP-2422-B is pending approval. Additional security cameras are in the process of being installed in SCP-2422's cells. ██████ has been reprimanded for his actions and moved to a different project.

Interviewed: SCP-2422-A
Interviewer: Dr. Cardinal
Foreword: Following SCP-2422-B's claims of SCP-2422-A's possible infidelity, considering the fundamental conflict these actions brought up with SCP-2422's purpose, Dr. Cardinal requested an interview with SCP-2422-A to attempt to understand the situation.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Cardinal: Hello, 2422-A.
SCP-2422-A: Hello, Doctor. How can I help you?
Dr. Cardinal: I just need to give you a quick survey to make sure everything's fine with you and your family's containment. I have all the questions on this paper here.
SCP-2422-A: Alright. Go ahead.
Dr. Cardinal: Alright. First question: how have things been with your marriage?
SCP-2422-A: Ah. Not even giving me a freebie easy one, eh?
[SCP-2422-A laughs.]
Dr. Cardinal: Answer the question, 2422-A.
SCP-2422-A: Alright, alright. Things have been great. -B seems happy. We've been making the researchers more joyful than ever recently.
Dr. Cardinal: So I hear.
SCP-2422-A: I'm sorry?
Dr. Cardinal: Nothing. Alright, next question. Do you feel safe in containment?
SCP-2422-A: Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? This is where I'm meant to be.
Dr. Cardinal: None of the people who've worked with you have made you uncomfortable? You haven't noticed anyone who seems… predatory?
SCP-2422-A: If this is about the prick who touched my daughter, you told me he–
Dr. Cardinal: He has been dealt with. I'm talking about you. No one's made any inappropriate advances?
SCP-2422-A: No, sir.
Dr. Cardinal: Wonderful. Next question: what is your relationship with ██████ ████?
[SCP-2422-A pauses.]
SCP-2422-A: He delivers my daughter's medicine.
Dr. Cardinal: And that's all?
SCP-2422-A: What is this?
Dr. Cardinal: It's just a question, 2422-A. Is bringing your daughter's medicine all he does for you?
SCP-2422-A: Yes, that's all.
Dr. Cardinal: 2422-A, I would be much happier if you didn't lie to me.
SCP-2422-A: I didn't–
Dr. Cardinal: Your wife told me herself.
SCP-2422-A: What are you accusing me of?
Dr. Cardinal: I'm not accusing you of anything. Tell me what you're hiding.
[SCP-2422-A pauses.]
SCP-2422-A: I thought it would make him happy.
Dr. Cardinal: I see. And what about your wife? Did you consider her feelings?
SCP-2422-A: Look, I love my wife. She knows that.
Dr. Cardinal: Are you sure? You haven't been showing her lately.
SCP-2422-A: Well, I didn't expect her to find out about…
Dr. Cardinal: ██████.
SCP-2422-A: Yeah. Him.
Dr. Cardinal: I don't buy that.
SCP-2422-A: What?
Dr. Cardinal: You knew full well what she could do. There was no way you thought you could hide it.
SCP-2422-A: Well, he needed–
Dr. Cardinal: You didn't care about him. You didn't even remember his name.
SCP-2422-A: Why are you so invested in this?
Dr. Cardinal: Because you forced me to report my boyfriend to our superiors for sexual assault on a humanoid.
[SCP-2422-A is silent.]
Dr. Cardinal: So, 2422-A, what game are you playing? I know now you're willing to cause pain and suffering, so why have you been so careful about your lie? You don't need to cause joy, so why do you?
SCP-2422-A: I want to be happy.
Dr. Cardinal: You and the rest of the world. How can you be so willing to cause others pain?
SCP-2422-A: Haven't I suffered enough?
Dr. Cardinal: Don't start with the melodrama, -A. Whoever this Wandering Father is–
SCP-2422-A: He's dangerous. Don't talk about him. Don't say his name. He'll hear you.
Dr. Cardinal: Shut your fucking trap.
SCP-2422-A: I'm sorry.
Dr. Cardinal: Good.
SCP-2422-A: I do love -B. You have to believe me.
Dr. Cardinal: No, I don't. Others will. You're manipulative. You can make them. But I'll know.
SCP-2422-A: Okay, fine. But please, don't mess with Wandering Father. He's dangerous.
Dr. Cardinal: I don't suppose you'll tell me why.
SCP-2422-A: No. He'll hear. He'll cut me open. He'll blow my brains out. He'll kill me.
Dr. Cardinal: Right. You're insane.
SCP-2422-A: No. You don't know him.
Dr. Cardinal: I'll get you some medication, too. I think we're done here.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Dr. Cardinal has gone on leave indefinitely. His request to instigate stricter security measures for SCP-2422 is pending approval.

Foreward: The following are excerpts of recordings from security cameras within SCP-2422's cells. The excerpts are presented in chronological order. I transcribed them myself, Stan. You and I are the only ones who know this particular information.

[11.19.20██, 04:35-06:05]
<Begin Log>
[04:35] SCP-2422-D rises from bed.
[04:35] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-07 to Chamber 2422-05.
[04:36] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-02.
[04:36] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-02 to Chamber 2422-09.
[04:36] SCP-2422-D moves to the center of Chamber 2422-09.
[06:04] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-09 to Chamber 2422-02.
[06:04] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-02 to Chamber 2422-05.
[06:04] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-07.
[06:05] SCP-2422-D returns to bed.
<End Log>

[11.21.20██, 11:47-11:48]
<Begin Log>
[11:47] SCP-2422-A and SCP-2422-B approach each other from opposite ends of Chamber 2422-05.
[11:47] SCP-2422-D approaches Chamber 2422-05 from within Chamber 2422-02 behind SCP-2422-B.
[11:47] SCP-2422-A and SCP-2422-B approach the center of Chamber 2422-05.
[11:47] SCP-2422-A moves towards SCP-2422-B, attempting to kiss it.
[11:47] SCP-2422-B forces SCP-2422-A away from itself, pushing it into a wall.
[11:47] SCP-2422-B exits Chamber 2422-05.
[11:48] SCP-2422-D enters Chamber 2422-07 and lays on its bed.
<End Log>

[11.29.20██, 22:53-22:54]
[22:53] SCP-2422-B stands towards the center of Chamber 2422-02, drinking apple juice.
[22:53] SCP-2422-A lies in its bed in Chamber 2422-08, asleep.
[22:53] SCP-2422-D lies on its bed in Chamber 2422-07, reading a Biology textbook.
[22:54] Camera activity is interrupted.
[22:54] Camera activity resumes after a total of three (3) seconds of inactivity.
[22:54] SCP-2422-A and SCP-2422-B lie facing each other in their shared bed in Chamber 2422-08.
[22:54] SCP-2422-D stands in the center of Chamber 2422-02, staring at a puddle of apple juice and an array of shattered glass.
<End Log>

[11.30.20██, 08:22-08:25]
[08:22] SCP-2422-B stands in the center of Chamber 2422-02, staring at a puddle of apple juice and an array of shattered glass.
[08:23] SCP-2422-B kneels and retrieves a large sliver of glass.
[08:23] SCP-2422-B walks to the Western wall of Chamber 2422-02 and kneels in front of its kitchen sink. It opens the cabinet underneath and stores the glass shard inside.
[08:24] SCP-2422-B stands, does not move for a moment, then quickly washes its hands.
[08:25] SCP-2422-B walks to the Northern wall of Chamber 2422-02 and retrieves a broom.
[08:25] SCP-2422-B carefully begins to sweep the glass remaining on the floor into a pile.
<End Log>

[12.5.20██, 04:35-06:05]
<Begin Log>
[04:35] SCP-2422-D rises from bed.
[04:35] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-07 to Chamber 2422-05.
[04:36] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-02.
[04:36] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-02 to Chamber 2422-09.
[04:36] SCP-2422-D moves to the center of Chamber 2422-09.
[05:21] SCP-2422-D assumes a seated position on the floor and begins to rock in place.
[05:46] SCP-2422-B begins to stir from sleep.
[05:51] SCP-2422-B rises from bed.
[05:51] SCP-2422-D begins to rock at an increased pace.
[05:51] SCP-2422-B moves from Chamber 2422-08 to Chamber 2422-05.
[05:52] SCP-2422-B moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-02.
[05:53] SCP-2422-B retrieves a glass from a cabinet and fills it with tap water. It drinks, standing in front of the sink.
[05:55] SCP-2422-D begins to make inarticulate noises of distress.
[05:56] SCP-2422-B moves from Chamber 2422-02 to Chamber 2422-09.
[05:56] SCP-2422-B embraces SCP-2422-D from behind.
[05:56] SCP-2422-B begins to whisper to SCP-2422-D.
[05:58] SCP-2422-D ceases vocalization.
[06:00] SCP-2422-B and SCP-2422-D stand.
[06:01] SCP-2422-B and SCP-2422-D move together from Chamber 2422-09 to Chamber 2422-02.
[06:01] SCP-2422-B and SCP-2422-D move together from Chamber 2422-02 to Chamber 2422-05.
[06:01] SCP-2422-B and SCP-2422-D move together from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-07.
[06:02] SCP-2422-D returns to bed.
[06:03] SCP-2422-B moves from Chamber 2422-07 to Chamber 2422-05.
[06:03] SCP-2422-B presses its forehead against the Southern wall of Chamber 2422-05.
[06:05] SCP-2422-B moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-08.
[06:05] SCP-2422-B returns to bed.
<End Log>

[12.9.20██, 12:52-13:13]
<Begin Log>
[12:52] SCP-2422-B stands at the sink in Chamber 2422-02, washing dishes.
[12:52] SCP-2422-A moves from Chamber 2422-01 to Chamber 2422-02.
[12:52] SCP-2422-A begins speaking to SCP-2422-B in a low voice. SCP-2422-B does not initially respond.
[12:52] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-07 to Chamber 2422-05.
[12:52] SCP-2422-C moves from Chamber 2422-06 to Chamber 2422-05.
[12:53] SCP-2422-A takes SCP-2422-B by the shoulders and forces it to turn around. SCP-2422-B shakes it off and speaks sharply to it.
[12:53] SCP-2422-C and SCP-2422-D stand move together from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-03 and look into Chamber 2422-02 through the open doorway.
[12:54] SCP-2422-A and SCP-2422-B continue arguing.
[12:56] The argument between SCP-2422-A and SCP-2422-B grows more heated.
[12:56] SCP-2422-D begins to rock rapidly.
[12:57] SCP-2422-C embraces SCP-2422-D from behind and begins whispering to it.
[12:59] SCP-2422-B slams its hand on the counter and begins to reach for the cabinet under the sink.
[13:00] SCP-2422-A strikes SCP-2422-B across the face. SCP-2422-B collapses to the floor.
[13:01] SCP-2422-D begins to vocalize uncontrollably.
[13:01] SCP-2422-A shouts at SCP-2422-C.
[13:02] SCP-2422-C carries SCP-2422-D from Chamber 2422-03 to Chamber 2422-05.
[13:02] SCP-2422-C carries SCP-2422-D from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-07.
[13:03] SCP-2422-A moves from Chamber 2422-02 to Chamber 2422-05.
[13:03] SCP-2422-C lays SCP-2422-D in its bed. It continues to vocalize.
[13:03] SCP-2422-A moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-08.
[13:04] SCP-2422-C lays down beside SCP-2422-D, embracing and rocking with it.
[13:05] SCP-2422-B rises to a sitting position, leaning against the kitchen cabinets.
[13:06] SCP-2422-B reaches into the cabinet under the sink and retrieves a large shard of glass.
[13:07] SCP-2422-B stares at the shard of glass.
[13:08] SCP-2422-B begins to weep.
[13:08] SCP-2422-D ceases vocalizing.
[13:13] SCP-2422-D falls asleep.
<End Log>

[12.24.20██, 16:12-18:53]
<Begin Log>
[16:12] SCP-2422-B enters Chamber 2422-02.
[16:12] SCP-2422-B approaches the box sitting on the table in the center of Chamber 2422-02.
[16:14] SCP-2422-B removes a chicken ready for preparation from the box.
[16:15] SCP-2422-B begins to prepare the chicken.
[18:47] SCP-2422-B finishes preparing the chicken.
[18:49] SCP-2422-B summons the rest of SCP-2422.
[18:50] SCP-2422 converges on Chamber 2422-02.
[18:51] SCP-2422-A speaks jovially and kisses SCP-2422-B on the cheek.
[18:51] SCP-2422-B stiffens momentarily, but then relaxes and kisses SCP-2422-A back.
[18:53] SCP-2422 convene around the table to eat the chicken.
<End Log>

[12.25.20██, 00:04-00:09]
[00:04] SCP-2422-D rises from bed.
[00:05] SCP-2422-B sits up and stares at a sleeping SCP-2422-A.
[00:05] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-07 to Chamber 2422-05.
[00:05] SCP-2422-B retrieves a shard of glass from under its pillow and brandishes it.
[00:05] SCP-2422-D moves from chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-08.
[00:05] Camera activity is interrupted.
[00:06] Camera activity resumes after seven (7) seconds of inactivity.
[00:06] SCP-2422-A and SCP-2422-B lie facing each other in their shared bed in Chamber 2422-08.
[00:06] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-08 to Chamber 2422-05.
[00:07] SCP-2422-D moves from Chamber 2422-05 to Chamber 2422-07.
[00:09] SCP-2422-D returns to bed.
<End Log>

Interviewed: SCP-2422-D
Interviewer: Dr. █████
Foreword: Dr. █████ suggested that SCP-2422-D might be the most willing to share what information it could about Wandering Father out of the members of SCP-2422, due to its seemingly limited self-awareness. Dr. █████ carried the interview out himself, with the supervision of an on-staff behavioral therapist.
<Begin Log>
Dr. █████: Good morning, 2422-D.
SCP-2422-D: What's that?
Dr. █████: I'm sorry?
SCP-2422-D: What's that on your coat?
Dr. █████: That's the Foundation logo.
SCP-2422-D: Oh.
Dr. █████: So, 2422-D–
SCP-2422-D: That's me.
Dr. █████: Yes, well, we were wondering if you could tell us about Wandering Father.
SCP-2422-D: Why?
Dr. █████: Well, because it's important that we know more about him.
SCP-2422-D: I've been reading about snakes.
Dr. █████: -D–
SCP-2422-D: Did you know that serpents don't have hands?
[Dr. █████ pauses.]
Dr. █████: I'm sorry?
SCP-2422-D: They don't. It says so in my textbook.
[SCP-2422-D smiles.]
Dr. █████: Okay. Good to know. About Wandering Father–
SCP-2422-D: He made me.
Dr. █████: Yes. We know that. Can you tell us who he is? What he wants? Maybe where he lives?
SCP-2422-D: He is beautiful.
Dr. █████: What does he look like?
SCP-2422-D: He is unknowable.
Dr. █████: 2422-D, I need you to be straight with me.
SCP-2422-D: He is eternal.
Dr. █████: Answer my question. Who is Wandering Father?
SCP-2422-D: Shut up.
Dr. █████: Excuse me?
SCP-2422-D: Do not presume to give me orders. I am a soldier of God.
Dr. █████: Alright, I think you need to–
SCP-2422-D: Sit down.
Dr. █████: What the fuck?
SCP-2422-D: You believe you are the high and mighty? Because you imprison that which you deem unclean? Because you charge into any situation where you see possible gain? Because you have hostage the Sons of Adam side-by-side with the spawn of Satan?
Dr. █████: How do you know about–
SCP-2422-D: You believe you are capable of understanding God?
Dr. █████: That's not what–
SCP-2422-D: Oh, but it is. And you do. You don't believe in God.
Dr. █████: Shut up. I'm sending you back to containment.
SCP-2422-D: Do not tell me what to do. God shall strike you down, you and all the other sinners. He shall release his creations upon the Earth and I will be by his side, laughing as you feel the flames.
Dr. █████: Okay, that's enough.
[Dr. █████ stands.]
SCP-2422-D: I said sit down.
[Dr. █████ screams and falls back into his chair, as if forced by an immense weight.]
Dr. █████: Stop it!
SCP-2422-D: You are NOT God, you are a pathetic, whiny bitch trying to make your way in a world that has no place for you. I ought to kill you here. I'm sure it would make my charges safer if you were–
[Guards, summoned by the observing therapist, enter the room and sedate SCP-2422-D with a projectile syringe.]
Dr. █████: Holy fuck. Get him out of here.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: SCP-2422 was placed under increased security for several months. Such measures were deemed unnecessary as SCP-2422-D seemed unlikely to repeat its outburst without provocation. The behavioral therapist who summoned the guards was given a commendation before being administered a Class-C amnestic.

Interviewed: SCP-2422-C
Interviewer: Dr. Welsch
Foreword: Following SCP-2422-D's outburst, it was deemed important to understand SCP-2422's origins and true purpose. Given her positive relationship with SCP-2422-C, Dr. Welsch volunteered to perform the interview herself.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Welsch: Hello, -C.
SCP-2422-C: Hi, Doctor. What's up?
Dr. Welsch: Listen, we need to know about Wandering Father.
SCP-2422-C: Is this about what -D did last week? Listen, you know he's not usually like that–
Dr. Welsch: This isn't about that. That incident just served as a reminder of how unpredictable and dangerous you four are, and how little we know about this man.
SCP-2422-C: You think we're dangerous?
Dr. Welsch: I do. And from now on, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Can you do the same for me?
[SCP-2422-C pauses.]
SCP-2422-C: I'll do my best.
Dr. Welsch: Okay. Who is Wandering Father?
SCP-2422-C: I don't know.
Dr. Welsch: That's alright. Where does Wandering Father live?
SCP-2422-C: I don't know.
Dr. Welsch: What does Wandering Father look like?
SCP-2422-C: I don't know.
Dr. Welsch: -C.
[SCP-2422-C pauses.]
SCP-2422-C: Who else is watching?
Dr. Welsch: Nobody else can see in here.
SCP-2422-C: Bullshit. That wall's one-way glass.
Dr. Welsch: The room next door is electronically locked. Nobody's inside. It's just us.
SCP-2422-C: Okay. I'm going to tell you a story.
Dr. Welsch: Okay. I'm listening.
SCP-2422-C: You can't share it with anyone. Do you promise?
Dr. Welsch: I promise.
SCP-2422-C: Once upon a time there is a girl named Misty. She lives in Toronto, and she loves to live. She has lots of friends, loving parents, and a good home. She is sixteen and has never been pregnant. She's only ever done pot once, and that was an accident. She loves chocolate chip cookies and Once Upon A Time and she has 14,000 followers on Twitter and life is great. Do you understand?
Dr. Welsch: I do.
SCP-2422-C: Okay. So, one day, she meets this boy named Abe, but really he's a man. He's twenty and he has a cool car and a nice chest and a fuck-ton of charm. He flirts with her, hard and often. He will not leave her alone until she is his girlfriend. Being the poor, naive creature that she is, Misty ends up dating him. Christ, she came pretty close to putting out for him. Pretty predictable, I suppose. Anyway, one day he asks her to come down to his basement. He says he wants to show her a science project. She agrees, and the next thing she knows she's tied to a pole in a dark room. It's cold and she's thirsty and something smells rotten. She later finds out that as she went down the stairs, he hit her on the back of the head with a ceramic plate.
Dr. Welsch: Oh, my God.
SCP-2422-C: When she wakes up, she calls out to the darkness and finds out she's not alone. There are four other people down there with her. Two men, one woman, and a boy. They are all also tied up, and have been down there for different lengths of time. They hear someone walking upstairs and everyone goes quiet. Then Abe comes downstairs and turns on the light. The room looks like a normal rec room. The prisoners don't seem to be organized at all. They're just tied to things that don't move; no planning seems to be involved. Abe approaches Misty, and she sees a glint in his eyes that was never there before. She is terrified. Abe tells her that everything is assembled, and his project is about to begin. Her first thought is that he's trying to make a porno. She is so innocent. Then, Abe unties the first of the men – his name is Jeff – and leads him into another room. Jeff makes eye contact with the second man – Dave – as he passes. He says something the Misty can't make out. Looking back later, she realizes it was probably "I love you."
Dr. Welsch: Are you okay? Do you need to take a break?
SCP-2422-C: No. No, no, I'm fine. If I wait I won't be able to do this. Abe leads Jeff into another room and shuts a thick door behind them. The remaining four wait in silence, straining to hear anything they can. After about seven minutes, there's the sound of a scuffle. Then a gunshot.
Dr. Welsch: Jesus Christ.
SCP-2422-C: Dave screams. The boy – his name is… Christ, his name is Zane. He starts crying. And Abe just opens the door and walks back into the room, still holding the gun. And he looks right at Misty and he says really calmly: 'that trial failed.'
[SCP-2422-C pauses.]
SCP-2422-C: Then he unties Misty and begins to lead her into the room, and Misty resists at first, but he puts the gun to her head so she cooperates. He sits her down and says 'let's try this again.' Then he pulls out a pocket watch and begins to swing it in front of her face, explaining to her how sleepy she's getting. Misty has seen the blood on the wall beside her and decides to play along. She fakes every reaction the way she thinks he wants. After he thinks she's under his spell, he tells her that Misty is no more, and that when she wakes up, she won't remember anything about her old life. Then, he begins to explain to her what her new life mission is: to bring people joy. He says when she wakes up, her only thought will be how to best bring joy to people, only stopping short of sexual favors. This, he says, is a restriction he is placing only on her, because he genuinely likes her. He tells her he will give her special powers through an injection, powers that will help her know when she is fulfilling her purpose. He says he stole the formula from the master database of a worldwide anomalous power. Do you know anything about that?
Dr. Welsch: He wouldn't have been talking about the Foundation, but I know of several other organizations he could have been referencing.
SCP-2422-C: Christ, there are more organizations? Well, that part doesn't really matter. After he finishes his 'hypnosis' and establishes what he calls a 'trigger word' – he says if he speaks it, she'll fall back into a trance immediately, then selects the word 'phallic' – he injects her with something and tells her to wake up. Slowly – ever so slowly – she opens her eyes, silently counts to three, then smiles very wide. 'Hello, sir,' she says, 'how are you today?' He says, 'I'm fucking fantastic, SCP-2422-C. Why don't we introduce you to the others?' Misty says 'I love meeting new people.' He takes her out into the room and introduces her to the others as that thing he called her before – SCP-2422-C. Misty stays in character as best she can the whole time as he tells them what a success she is and they pepper her with questions, trying to get her to remember them, trying to get her to see. What's worse, every time she looks into one of their faces, she feels an additional wave of confusion and despair washing over her. The emotions feel alien and foreign, completely different from her own experiences with them. They invade her mind without warning and trickle out slowly, fling their residue all over the walls of her brain, and leave a bitter taste in her mouth. And she has to keep smiling and tittering at everything.
[SCP-2422-C takes a breath.]
SCP-2422-C: Eventually, he ties her back up. He says one miracle is enough for that day, and that he is exhausted. He says he'll deal with the next two the next day. She keeps that smile plastered on her face until the lights shut off and she hears him close the door at the top of the stairs. Then, she starts to weep. She tells her fellow prisoners everything as quickly and quietly as possible. She tells them what they have to do to survive. Dave does not stop crying the entire night. None of them sleep. By the morning, she can hear flies buzzing in the next room. They hear him going about his day for most of the morning. Then there comes a knock on the door. The voice is female. She comes inside and makes her way to the couch. He seems to bring her something from the kitchen. None of the prisoners can make out what they're saying. They stop talking for a while. Then she leaves. Abe comes down the stairs. Misty greets him and asks how his day is going. He tells her it's the best day of his life. He's met his true love. Despite everything, Misty finds this like having a sack of bricks dropped directly onto her stomach. She keeps her smile, though. Her smile is impenetrable. He takes the woman – her name is Cassandra – into the smaller room. She looks as Misty as she passes. Misty keeps the smile, but wishes Cassandra luck with her eyes. The three remaining prisoners wait, tense, for about two hours, but no gunshots ring. Abe returns with a very cheerful Cassandra, and introduces her as SCP-2422-B. He ties her back up, then takes Dave into the room. Cassandra's smile falls from her face as soon as he turns around. She does not cry. Zane does. Misty does, too.
Dr. Welsch: Misty, I–
SCP-2422-C: The prisoners hear Dave weeping again. He must be seeing the corpse of his boyfriend. The other three tense, but he does not die. A nuclear family needs a father. He is in the room for two and a half hours. When he returns, he's positively bouncing. Abe ties him up and says he'll finish up with Zane the next day. After he leaves, Cassandra calls him a psycho fuckwad. Dave suggests his philosophy might not be all bad. At first, Misty doesn't understand what happened, but she quickly realizes: Abe had more practice when he worked with Dave. His work clearly isn't perfect, but he doesn't seem to have failed entirely like he did with her and Cassandra. That makes her even more scared than she already was: Abe is not just a man raving in a basement; there might be more sadistic hypnotists out there. Maybe even talented ones. No one is safe.
Dr. Welsch: If it's any comfort, there are no others on our radar.
SCP-2422-C: It's not. The next day, the girl comes over again. Their discussion gets more heated. He shouts. She shouts. Glass breaks. She leaves. He comes stomping down the basement stairs very early – it must be before noon. He stands, seething, at the bottom of the stairs, then he shouts at the top of his voice: 'I was going to fuck her!' Then he unties the kid, Zane, and practically drags him into the next room.
Dr. Welsch: Dear Lord.
SCP-2422-C: The two are in that room for four hours. Abe shouts and raves. Several times, we hear him slap Zane. The gun goes off twice, and still he continues. He drags the boy out, battered and bruised, and tells them that his new name is SCP-2422-D, and he will act as police officer. If any of us ever cause 'unjoy,' we will answer to him. He shows us the inside of Zane's left arm, practically holds it to each of our noses. It's riddled with puncture wounds that look like bug bites. Some of them are kind of swollen. One is a little green. He says he emptied his stash on the kid; even he doesn't know the full extent of his powers. He says he knows it won't mean anything to us, we don't remember our 'conditioning' at all, but he wants to give us fair warning. Then he ties Zane up and leaves.
Dr. Welsch: Are those 2422-D's scars?
SCP-2422-C: Yes. After he left, we asked Zane if he was okay, but he didn't respond. We asked him more and more different questions, but he didn't say anything. Zane was gone. Abe had succeeded on one of us. That night, I actually fell asleep. When I woke up, we were on the side of the road with two envelopes: one addressed to us, and one addressed to the Foundation. The one addressed to us gave us directions here, to Site-17. We began walking.
Dr. Welsch: And you made it here.
SCP-2422-C: There's more. -D always fell asleep first. We all walked all day, but he was still twelve, you know? So, after he went to bed the first night, we all agreed to fake like Abe's hypnosis had worked on us, too, because we didn't know what -D was capable of. After that, we worked on figuring out what our new powers were. Those, we had. He hadn't had to hypnotize us to give them to us; he injected us with something. None of us liked it. All of us were upset and disturbed. None of us could talk about it. We hoped something might change once we reached this mysterious Foundation. We hoped that at the very least you would kill us. But hey, look where we are now. All doped up and ready to go.
[SCP-2422-C pauses.]
SCP-2422-C: We never talk about Wandering Father or our emotions, because -D can't tell how we feel about anything unless we talk about it. So, we don't. I'm sure you've seen his wrath on the cameras.
Dr. Welsch: He makes them cut out sometimes. Only for a few seconds, though.
SCP-2422-C: That's all the time he needs. He's not autistic. He's still in shock. He just follows his programming to the letter.
Dr. Welsch: Are you certain?
SCP-2422-C: Yes. I promise. Well, I guess I can't talk at all around him, now. I've told you my whole story, so anything I say will make me think of this. Then he'll hurt us all.
Dr. Welsch: We have amnestics I can offer you, to help you forget this interview.
SCP-2422-C: No. I need to remember that someone knows. I need to remember that there is hope. Misty is not dead. Neither is Cassandra, neither is Dave. We're prisoners of Wandering Father and of SCP-2422-D to this day. But now, someone can free us. Somebody knows.
Dr. Welsch: Is there any more to your story?
SCP-2422-C: Nothing important.
Dr. Welsch: Okay. Is it alright if I send you back to containment now?
SCP-2422-C: Oh, my God, I upset you really bad. I'm so sorry.
Dr. Welsch: No. Don't be. Don't you dare feel sorry for sharing your pain. Ever. Do you understand me?
SCP-2422-C: Yes.
Dr. Welsch: Good. I'll see you on Thursday, right?
SCP-2422-C: I'll see you then.
Dr. Welsch: Goodbye, Misty.
<End Log>

Hey, Stan.
Sorry to dump all that on you like that. My guess is you'll understand why I did it. I need you to understand, not just to know. My words can't do what theirs can.
Now you understand why SCP-2422 is so difficult and taxing to deal with. All of it. But there are a few more things you should know:
1. We are the only two who know this information. I conducted the majority of the interviews myself. Dr. Cardinal was killed in a car crash last year, as you know. And Dr. █████ willingly took amnestics after his interview with 2422-D. Everyone else operates under the assumption that 2422 live only to make people happy.
2. SCP-2422-B made a confession similar to 2422-C's very soon after. Almost all the details matched up, so I didn't include it. She, however, claims that Dave died in that basement, and Jeff is the one we currently call SCP-2422-A.
3. All four members of SCP-2422 have scars on their inner right arm, similar to 2422-D's.
Take that information and its implications as you will.
Please don't disseminate this information at all. I've chosen you because I trust you. That's why I'm being so casual about this. That's why I sent this to this account, not your work one. We don't know what 2422-D is capable of doing to its family members or to personnel. Not that we can't handle it, but we don't know if it's worth the trouble.
Treat them like people, okay? I've pushed for their humanity to be recognized for years, and I'm passing the responsibility of that maintenance on to you. Hold it carefully.
I'll still be working under you in the project. If you need any help, just ask.
You da man.
Sincerely,
Lizzie Welsch
Former SCP-2422 Project Director
Secure. Contain. Protect.