“Yo Rashaun, I know you always like the weird shit, check this out!”
It had been a long day at the Foundation, and Agent Rashaun Washington just wanted to see what his friends—his normal friends, the ones who still live normal lives—were up to. He was kind of up to his ears in weird shit. But… always on the lookout for anomalies, he let on that he “likes the weird shit” just in case they run across anything. So James sent him a YouTube video. Okay, fine, let's see what this is about.
He looked at the thumbnail. A cute teenage white brunette girl, smiling that innocent brave slightly-smug smile of adolescents about to complete a dare on camera, holding up a big pile of white rope. The video was called, “100 Feet of ROPE!” WTF, James, are you sending me creeper shit? On your feed where everyone can see it? I'm not into that shit and now everyone's going to think I am. I'm going to be flagged in some database somewhere. What the heck. Just… why, James, why?
Rashaun shook his head and sighed. Welp, nothing to it. He waited until he got back to his apartment, stuck in his earbuds, and tapped the link. I'm not into this. I'm not into this.
The video opened. Typical webcam, girl's bedroom. The teenager adjusted the camera and stared into it a moment to make sure it was working. She doesn't even know how to edit these things, apparently. Then she spoke. “Hi! I'm Maci. So I figured out I can do this thing, and Kelsey said I should show everyone on YouTube. So I stopped by the store and got… this rope.” She held up a large clear plastic bag. “100 feet of white cotton braided rope. I got cotton because it was that or polyester, which, ew.” She tore open the bag, and pulled out the pile in a long, semi-tangled mess. “One moment, let me find the end of this thing.” She picked through the loops, loosely wrapping herself up. I'm not into this. She's got My Little Pony on her bed, still. Not cool, James, not cool. She grabbed the end, triumphantly displayed it to the camera, and replied, “Got it! Now watch this!”
Maci gamely looked into the camera, wiggled her eyebrows a couple times, and stuck the end of the rope in her mouth. She started chewing and sucking it in like a giant spaghetti.
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
So this was the weird shit James was talking about. She was eating the rope. Sucking it down. And she wasn't stopping. She awkwardly disentangled herself from the ropes as they tightened around her and disappeared down her throat. How the hell was she doing that? It clearly took effort. She was grimacing and squinting. She slapped her chair's armrest a couple times. But she kept going. A hundred feet? Really?
Wait, is this even possible? There are sword-swallowers, but this isn't that, is it? James, you bastard, thank you. I gotta tell the Foundation.
Rashaun carefully examined the video as it played, quickly scanning for clues as to what she's doing. Cast-iron stomach? Spatiotemporal distortion? Hyperdimensional portal in her gut? He tried to figure out what this might be. Yet… A couple of minutes in, and when you've seen a girl eat the first thirty feet of a rope, the next thirty feet goes in pretty much the same pattern. Really, Maci, you need to learn how to edit. Rashaun looked over the rest of the webpage. User name: crazymaci99. Crazy Maci, that's for sure. I'm going to have to report this video. He looked at the view count: 301+. Crap, this is going viral. He braced himself and looked at the comments. Ugh. Most of them fell in one of two categories: guys telling her what else she can shove in her mouth, and guys telling her what else she can do with the rope. Lame-ass armchair perverts. But then, there were a few that were honestly surprised at what she was doing. “How can you fit it all inside you like that?” “Can I give it a try?”
The fear at watching this display spread to everyone around the world, the damn weird sense of watching a little girl continue to wolf down a rope, the idea that there were kids that were going to hurt themselves trying to copy Crazy Maci, and Rashaun felt his stomach go hollow and constrict. He could have sworn he was the one eating the rope. The Foundation needed to know this. How many amnestics was this going to take? He sent the link on to his boss, marked URGENT, and watched the rest of the video.
Maci had come to the end of the rope, it having somehow all managed to fit in her belly. Not distended or anything. She was kind of skinny and small. And with a final little flip of the rope's end, it quickly slipped completely down her mouth. A sudden look of panic crossed her visage. She felt her mouth, stood up, and walked around in a circle, flailing her arms. Then, her face filled with fear, she thrust her hand and wrist down her throat, deep. I'm not into this. I'm not into this. Regaining his composure, Rashaun wondered how deep someone could get their hand down their throat. He stuck his hand in his own mouth, but could only get as far as a couple knuckles before he started gagging. But there she was, digging deep like her life depended on it.
Suddenly, she yanked her hand out of her mouth, grasping the end of the rope. She started pulling, quickly, reeling it out of her, her tongue hanging out, tears in her eyes. It was slow going in, but fast coming out. Well, good guy James. Here, I thought this would be pedo fetish fuel, but it's really just… He scanned the comments again. …Anomalous pedo fetish fuel.
Holy fuck.
Rashaun's boss replied.

Emergency meeting in 5 minutes. Rashaun, finish the vid, flag as inappropriate, and brief the MTF reps. Will have Beta-5 for humanoid retrieval, Gamma-5 and Mu-4 to deal with the video fallout. Suppress what we can, but we might need to debunk it. This could stick around the dark web a while.
Start without me. I need to check up on my daughter.

In the video, Maci regurgitated the last bit of rope. She caught her breath, gagged a little. She clumsily sat back down in front of the camera. She grinned.
“Well, that's my thing. Thank you so much, guys! Byeeeee!”

« | Twisted Together »