I don't care much for my given last name. Call them the Heart family.
People say family is forever, the people you can always go back to.
Though, I highly doubt it's true for us Hearts. We are a highly proud, bitter clan. If we weren't so hot-headed and stubborn we would probably be closer.
Did you know that legally no more than 1 Heart is allowed on an international flight?
That says something.
Water's thick, but blood is thicker. Right?
Well, we Hearts know how thick blood is, but we generally don't choose to embrace that in a familial sense.
Like last Heart family reunion, my cousins showed up blackout drunk, my aunts started a fist fight over some dumb argument they've been having for over 30 years, and my dad brought a bomb. A little funny how normal that is.
Actually, I had left early since I didn't care much for the bull shit they insisted on pulling every time we have one.
Normally calling my mother a whore, or telling me I'm a mistake. They would constantly try to one-up me, unknowing that even without the commissions I pull in from writing music, I'm probably making more than them. God knows I'm more successful than any of them have and will ever be.
A really sad part is that of my brother. He disowned the family, and he isn't a Heart anymore, and he doesn't talk to us…
Probably better that way.
I often wonder what he's up to nowadays, where he went, and how he's doing.
Does he have a wife? Kids? A successful career? Is he happy? Is he dealing with health issues?
Is he still alive?
Jackson and I were close when we were younger, and we would share everything. Then, suddenly he just disappeared. Changed his name, and left me. We were like twins, inseparable and even looking and dressing alike.
Before he cut ties, he had told me “This family is too much for me. If you won't follow me and stop feeding into them, then I can't be related to you.”
Sometimes when I think about it, I cry. It hurt me when he turned his back on me like that. Jackson was always a proud and strong younger brother, but I hadn't expected him to be so bitter.
I kind of wonder what made him leave. Was it my dad when he started doing cocaine, or was it my mom, when she started disappearing more and more?
We later figured out she was having an affair and they still haven't divorced. I don't think she was ever happy with Dad, but she could have broken it off with him before then.
When we were younger, our parents would be in and out, sometimes we were left alone for a while. I still don't know what they were doing, though, I should have known more, being the older sibling and all.
I digress.
My grandpa used to own a farm. Our parents would leave us there some times. See, he had pictures on the wall. My dad was one of 7 siblings, 4 boys 3 girls. Most of them are dead now. Either caught up in gangs, drugs, or alcohol. What do you expect?
Actually, most of my family has been on probation or in prison.
Most of them own guns, rocket launchers, or grenades. Heavy weaponry they're not even allowed to own. How they got their hands on them is beyond me.
The one aunt who wasn't constantly berating me or my mother led me to my love of music. She owned a piano, and I would love to play stuff on it. She soon paid a private lesson teacher to teach me. Then I picked up the oboe and it was my life. She supported me.
Auntie Robbin was always my favorite. Then she died of a heart attack.
Rest in Peace Auntie.
Sometimes I'm glad I go by Dr.Heart now. My family name isn't anything to be proud of. The shit related to it isn't funny. All they do is fight and illegal shit. We're crumbling slowly. My cousin's kids are trying to leave the family.
Do they not see what their parents, grandparents, or brothers and sisters are doing?
I try not to associate with them. Yet it always gets me when someone comes to me for money, or being in need of help. I always help them even though I know it's wrong. Most of them do drugs or whatever else, and I know if I keep helping them it only makes things worse. I know that if I give them money, they'll turn around and spend it on crap.
It's a horrible reality…
Family weak spots, what can I say?
It's kinda funny. I have all of this shit blood related to me, yet I'm not as fucked up as that.
The worst thing I do is drink. I mean, I'm entangled in the Foundation, but it gives me a purpose to live and exist past music.
It's like making a new family…
What's really funny is that I didn't choose the name Dr.Heart when it came to me.
Nowadays I need not worry about blood being thicker.
I have a new family that actually cares about me, and is willing to help me or go drinking.
They're my new brothers and sisters here at the Foundation. Truth be told, I prefer our new family, no matter how weird or funny we are.
It beats constantly being put down and made to feel like I'm nothing or being forced to bail them out of jail. Things at the Foundation are calmer, like the family I wish I had when I was growing up.
I even feel a kinship to the human and humanoid skips we keep here. None of them are crazy as a single one of the Hearts.
If I'm being honest, I'm pretty sure the Hearts are the real SCPs. I mean, they can't even have a civil conversation without exploding things or doing drugs.
Maybe they need a wake-up call…
The shit they do has carried them this far. I'm very surprised the Hearts still exist.
I don't love my family anymore. I don't enjoy being in their presence.
Yet, I miss Jackson so much. I wish I could find him again.
It's all a part of being in one of THOSE families…
~ Dr.Heart