I can accept your "Could it be"s. However, I reject your "Don't blame God..try the mirror".
Pain and suffering is THE mystery for anyone believing or attempting to believe in God.  Not to be profoundly troubled by that mystery is to jeopardize the capacity to grow. 
There's a line from "Job the Musical" that haunts me: "If God is good, there is no God", yet I believe. I am a fool for God.
There is no adequate answer that unsettles the urgency of that question. Only if pain and anguish is an illusion does it makes sense. And it isn't.