I know, Pence;
but the American people -- or at least a near-plurality of them -- didn't vote for Barebones Feargod;
most of them find small-smiling Mother-wived Bible creeps like him as repulsive as you do;
if they didn't, they'd have nominated Ted Cruz.
No, they voted for something juicier, the Smart Bidnessman from The TV Whut Hates P'lit'cal Keereckniss an' Sticks It To Messicans.
The idea was that he'd be the fun WWF heel
-- you know, just like David French's American Hero was back in his wrestling days
- and after four years of hammerlocks and heart punches all the white people would have good jobs again, hurrah!