Humbly and pitifully admit that you don't find her as attractive with the extra weight. Tell her how you never knew you were this kind of person on the inside and you wish you weren't. That you are sorry. That you are trying to change and are hoping to find other ways of connecting with her. Stand by your comments and live with the fallout. Ask her about her views and expectations of physical appearance within the marriage. Ask yourself what you would want her to do if you had gained weight. Also: the cover story on the People magazine website is: "Couple with Down Syndrome Celebrate 22 Years of Happy Marriage: 'Their relationship is pure' says sister"