I do not - I find their behavior reprehensible just as you do. But my point is not what I or you think, but what they thought or think. Can we hold them accountable for something that they may not have thought is wrong or reprehensible ? I think they grew up in the Mook generation (PBS did a good special on the Merchants of Cool that discussed this paradigm) and this is just the way they are to some degree.

Some sects of society speak to one another in this type of fashion and it is common even among friends, These are very fine lines to draw. I was was 5'3 and 180 lbs when I was in HS and was teased endlessly and know firsthand how this affects a person, so I  can say with experience a horrible way to treat any person.

You did answer the question, thanks. "You have your standards and I have mine" - relative standards mean trouble for society.