Our disagreement may hinge on semantics; specifically the difference between doing something "unwise" and the inherent responsibility one may or should take for doing so, and "fault", or the responsibility one takes or is assigned for one's actions.
In the case of the victim there may be some responsibility involved. In the case of the perpetrator there is always full responsibility.
All that having been said, it appears as though we do agree to some extent. Is my perception correct?