I'm very sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my brother in a very similar way. He was 20 and had recently started experimenting with spice. One night after work, he drove up to his favorite spot overlooking Homer where he liked to play his guitar, write music, draw and watch the sunrise/sunset. That night he shot himself. No suicide note, no previous suicidal tendencies, none of the red flags were there. Due to the fact that he took his own life, it was ruled a suicide, regardless of the drug influence. I had a really hard time accepting the title of "suicide" because my brother would never willingly, soberly, take his own life. Like I'm sure you have, Ms. Goodman, I spent hours, days, weeks trying to piece together his last moments, reading his text messages, reading the police report, trying to find answers, a solid reason that makes sense to me as to why he is no longer here. Next week, it'll be 4 years since I lost him and I'm still trying to "learn to live with it". Be strong.