Bob...You are carrying a very heavy  load. Honor yourself by not adding more to its weight here. Rest. Recover. Renew. Posting here may not provide that kind of care or comforting.

 I think they call them "dog whistles" these days to refer to those whose ears are tuned to react to particular words no matter who uses them or in what context. The practice is to determine what "dog whistles" will set someone off.  Like a dog is trained to attack with no regard for who, or what or why.

If you want to practice keeping a still pond while people toss rocks in the pond with the goal of disturbing your peace... then that means not responding - in either thought, word, or -- comment.  
This from Henri Nouwen - just heard in this last Sunday's homily -- No one who is shot with a bullet is not first shot with a word. No one who is shot with a word is not first shot with a thought. http://www.saintjohnsabbey.org/videos