aloha Keala
your story about the wall brought back a sad memory for me. my whole life I wanted to visit the wall. we planned a whole vacation across the US around it. we parked our car and walked to all the monuments, Lincoln, Jefferson, WWII and Korean War memorials...the whole shebang. as we got closer to the wall I realized that I just couldn't do it. I could not will my legs to take me there. so I sat on a bench some distance away while my wife went up to it and pencil etched the name of a friend. as I was sitting there I called my VA shrink. "what should I do?". he said, "take your shoes off. enjoy the sun on your face. let the wall go. and quit watching your wife at the wall through your binos....you look like a perp!" good advice. I'll get there someday.