You see, I held a press conference.  I hooted and I hollered and I made a big stink about the important work left to be done.

I told them Congress had too much to do for us to go back home–but you know the truth.  You know I just can’t stand to be away from you.

Betraying my essence of “more jobs, less government”–I decided we needed more government.  In fact, I decided the only thing that can solve the masses problems is more government.  And while we are at it, threatening the jobs of caretakers, nurses, and hospital employees.

I’d do anything for you.

Anything to keep me from having to face Alaskans.

I’ll work through Alaska’s beautiful summer month of August.

Deny myself many a night fishing.  Deny myself the joy of hiking.  Deny myself nights laying under the stars.  For I fear that I would look up and all I’d see would be the dollar signs you promised me dancing in the night sky.

Continued: