Love seeks ever closer unity with the beloved.
What gets in the way of such intimate unity? (an intimacy greater than sexual intimacy). 
Not letting go of one's pride...
perhaps, one's vanity..one's desire for mere human respect...accolades, the "desire to be consulted", etc. 
one's "hurt" from 50 years ago being bullied.

Lots of things.

The interior life that Jesus seeks with each of us requires a lot of detachment from various things.

The moral law which is given to us by the Church..it is the interpreter...may have criteria associated with it.

Those aren't rules, but pathways to every closer unity.

Going on a good retreat..a good one...gives one time and quiet to "take up" these things in prayer with Our Lord.

Especially things that we have allowed ourselves to build "self-justifications" around.

Those must be opened up, and shown to God, as a child shows a nasty scab to his or her parent, asking for help.