I'd say the right paints themselves that way:

Conservatives favour:
Traditional social institutions,
Barefoot and pregnant and church on Sunday.

Personal and economic freedom,
Unless you're a woman or gay.

Individual responsibility,
Unless you're a senator.

Our social safety net
But only if you don't have to pay for it.

Free-market economics
But boycott companies who exercise their right to advertise where they choose.

Small government
Didn't Harper make it bigger?

Fiscal prudence
Again, HOW many straight deficits? Action Plans ads? Fake lakes? Gazebos?