Pollster: If the election where held today, how would you vote?
Me: In secret.

Pollster: If the election were held today, would you vote for ____ or ____?
Me: I vote with secret ballot and that includes you.  

Pollster:   . . . . ?
My 13 year old son:  Is this a telephone poll?
Pollster: Yes.
My 13 year old son: Thank you, but we already have a telephone pole in the corner of our yard.

Someone calls on the phone claiming to be conducting a political poll.  How do you know it is for real or a phishing expedition.  We had a pollster call up and ask us if we go to church on Sundays and if we owned guns?  We have certain "hang ups" about that.