It's not fair!

Why can't we just mindlessly support just one side?

I thought there were only winners and losers? Black and white? Even Ronald Reagan told us that the world could be comprehended as a battle between good and evil . . . which was freakin' awesome because not only did he capitalize on the rise of non-relative adventure storytelling movies in the 1980s where there was ALWAYS good vs. evil, Reagan just made the world a simpler place.

Please put this neverending, historically-rich and vaulting history of the Middle East into easy-to-understand paradigms such as Good vs. Evil.

Moral relativity?
Intellectualism?
Context?
History?

Pfft! . . . boring! . . . choose a side. The Good Guys. And let's win this thing against the Evil Empire.