Matt, first of all Our Lord in that instance was not replying to the Scribes and Pharisees, he was preaching. The Fathers, St Thomas and the Church do not interpret Him as expecting no one to call anyone Father but God. The NT has numerous examples of people being called father, St Paul himself claims to be a spiritual father so neither did the apostles or the early Christians accept your assertion. He also said, "if thine eye offend thee pluck it out, etc." There is no record of the majority of early Christians being blind amputees.
Christ's words to the Pharisees questions on matrimony were specific and direct and it is impossible to interpret them any other way than rejecting the Mosaic indulgence.
Basing your speculation upon the culture of the time as to what Jesus would say today is imposing your opinion upon Christ, 'what would Jesus do were he here today'. All who argue thus are in reality saying what they themselves would do, not Christ.
Continued...