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Another effective way to help your child obey is by praising or rewarding them when they are behaving appropriately. When you see your daughter eating her food instead of throwing it, say, "Mindy, I love how you are eating and using good table manners. Keep that up and you'll earn your favorite dessert!" Experts believe positive reinforcement such as praise and rewards is much more effective than a consequence. Rather than lecturing or withholding privileges when undesirable behavior occurs, they suggest ignoring it and only giving your attention when your child is behaving appropriately. The goal is to get the child to do more positive behaviors to get more attention. This encourages the child to behave well, leaving less opportunity for misbehavior. For example, the parent might ignore it when their child throws food but lay on the praise when they eat as they should. If your child knows and understands what's expected of them, they are less likely to break the rules. Sit down with your child and explain your family's rules. Keep the rules clear, simple, and consistent. Also, make them aware of any consequences, such as if rules are broken, gaining points on a chart. When disciplining the child, discuss the rule, its consequence, and how the child can do better. For instance, your rules might sound like, "Walk indoors. No running!" "Complete homework before playtime," or "Clear away your area after an activity, such as homework or arts and crafts." As an example, you might have a rule to treat others with respect. If your child throws a tantrum, you could talk to them about how it's disrespectful for them to behave that way. Then give them an example of how they could express their emotions differently. Post the rules in plain sight, so your child is constantly reminded of how they should behave. Try pinning them to the wall near your points chart (or jar), posting them on the fridge, or hanging a sign up on your kitchen door. It's important that your child learn to follow rules even when no one is watching. Resist the urge to micromanage the child's behavior. For example, you could have the child check off positive behaviors, such as doing their homework and cleaning up after themselves. If you have multiple children, teach them to help each other follow the rules, rather than to tattle. For example, if one child notices that the other is running in the house, she could say, "Hey, we're supposed to walk when we're in the house. You could get hurt or break something." Maintain the same rules and the same consequences within your household to help your child establish norms of behavior. That way, they know what to do, and what will happen if they don't comply. Try to be consistent across contexts and caregivers. For instance, the child shouldn't be able to break the rules simply because friends are visiting. Similarly, mom shouldn't have one set of rules while dad has another. You should also have the same expectations for your child even when you are tired. Don't let them use your exhaustion as a free pass to misbehave. In addition, your rules should be consistent between your childrenone child shouldn't be allowed to break rules and not have consequences enforced. When other children visit your home, they should follow the same rules as your children. Ask your child to explain the rules to their friends or relatives when they get to your home, as this will help reinforce the child's understanding of the rules. Some kids have bucketfuls of energy and they get into trouble because they don't know how to effectively channel it. Give your child plenty of opportunities to move their bodies and work their minds. They'll be less likely to misbehave, as a result. Let your child go outside to burn off energy or dedicate a special place inside where they can play. Try keeping fun coloring books, puzzles, and games nearby to keep them preoccupied. Be realistic when it comes to your child. Don't expect an energetic child to sit quietly for hours at a time. Observe how your child functions and set up parameters that increase their odds of being obedient.
Use positive reinforcement to increase good behavior. Set clear rules to help your child know right from wrong. Teach the child how to hold themselves accountable. Be consistent across caregivers, situations, and children. Provide outlets for them to release energy.