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Review:I love occult Horror, and the great British Hammer Studios, who delivered one of their greatest films with "The Devil Rides Out" (1968), have proved to be more than capable in this field of Horror. This occult tenth episode of Hammer's short running TV-series "Hammer House of Horror" (1980), "Guardian of the Abyss", is indeed a creepy entry to the series. Director Don Sharp, who had previously enriched the Hammer oeuvre with "The Kiss of the Vampire" (1963) and "Rasputin: The Mad Monk" (1966) and furthermore directed two "Fu Machu" movies starring Christopher Lee, is doubtlessly one of the better-known names among the HHH directors, and he also delivers here. Antiques dealer Michael (Ray Lonnen) stumbles over a mysterious old scrying glass. The scrying glass happens to be the object of desire of a devil-worshiping cult, who want to use it for their satanic rites. When he shelters a beautiful young girl named Allison (Rosalyn Landor), who is to be sacrificed by the cult, Michael gets into deeper trouble with the cult and their sinister leader (John Carson)... While this is not one of my absolute favorite episodes of "Hammer House of Horror" (the best one clearly is the brilliant seventh episode, "The Silent Scream"), it is a very creepy and atmospheric one. The plot has several interesting twists, and stays suspenseful and uncanny throughout the film. Ray Lonnen makes a good lead, young Rosalyin Landor is convincing as the innocent beauty, and John Carson is truly creepy as the leader of the Satanists. Overall, "Guardian of the Abyss" is another interesting and creepy HHH tale, and my fellow Hammer fans should not miss it.
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A: positive

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Review:I'm not a huge Freddy Krueger fan,but that doesn't mean that I don't like Robert Englund and his other Nightmare on Elm Street movies.I think that Robert is a very good actor.Nobody plays a better Freddy Krueger than he does.But,no offense Robert, this movie sucked.The acting is terrible,the plot is really weak,and Freddy Krueger is the only part of the cast that's even worth watching.Sometimes sequels can be better than the first,such as the Friday the 13th franchise(I thought the remake was the best in the series.)But this isn't one of those movies.The original was good,the 2nd in my opinion was better,the 3rd was okay but I haven,t seen the others.Whatever you do,don,t make the same mistake I did by watching this piece of crap.
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A: negative

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Review:Yes, this was pure unbelievable condescending babble. We know that the French often have a skewed idea of the USA, it's puritanism and views towards sex. As an American (Hoosier) who lives in France, I have ample opportunity to observe these attitudes. And while some of these preconceived notions may be true, NOT ONE ELEMENT of the midwestern town portrayed in this film rang real. A man who has never had sex because he was told in high school 20 years prior that his penis is too big? Where in the world would you find that? A juke box in a bar that plays only vintage bluegrass? A town with maybe 16 people less than two hours away from Chicago, but with no major gas station, no Tvs in the home, no McDonalds, no kids... A population that knows each other's intimate details yet relentlessly gets together like one big family that hates each other. The adult males plant whoopee cushions at the local cafe, have farms but don't harvest, kill the guy they don't like in front of everyone and seem to get away with it, and all with equal emotion? The liberated French girl who will screw the 17 year old virgin boy because of her sexual generosity, the too much flesh guy who goes from getting off in cornfields by the mere breath of an Illinois breeze to helping deflower this same 17 year old farm boy? HELP! I am so baffled and astounded by the absurdity of this film that I am not expressing clearly how ridiculous it is. Go see it for the A-to-Z primer on what to avoid. Gosh, I hope I didn't ruin it for you!
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A: negative

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Review:The Angry Red Planet (Quickie Review)

Like "The Man From Planet X," this is a bizarre science fiction tale culled from an era where fantasy and science fiction were still damn near the same thing. Meaning, we have some highly laughable special effects and rampant pseudo-science masquerading as science fiction. And yes, it's another "classic" released in a high quality transfer with a crisp picture and sharp sound--by Midnite Movies.

So, the main reason to watch this film? Oh, it's definitely the whole time our space crew is on Mars. (What, you thought "Angry Red Planet" referred to Neptune?) Prior to that is some rather poor quality space crew boarding a space ship, inside of which they smoke and toss around sexist chauvinistic banter aimed at the "puny female" member of the crew. It'd be somewhat offensive by today's standards if it weren't so damn funny. But Mars is the real reason we're watching this thing. The film is generally black and white, but Mars, well Mars is screaming bloody red. It's filmed in this bizarre red plasticy sheen giving the angry red planet quite an interesting look of overexposed redness. It's really quite a sightas are the (ha ha) aliens viewers are to witness. The best being the "ratbatspidercrab." You think that's a joke? That's what they call it in the movie! It's a gigantic chimera (small puppet) of a thing combining traits of rats, bats, spiders, and crabs. It bounds along all puppety and scares the sh*t out of our "heroic crew." There are other weird, and poorly imagined, aliens to be seen, but that one takes the cake. Eventually, after their harrowing experience on Mars, the sexist crew boards their "ship" and returns to whatever planet it was they came from.

This ain't for everyone. Science Fiction film buffs & curiosity seekers, and some general film buffs. Fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 will have a field day with this one (if they never got to it on the show).

2/10 Modern score, 6/10 Nostalgia score, 4/10 overall.

(www.ResidentHazard.com)
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negative