Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: I never saw this when I was a kid, so this was seen with fresh eyes. I had never heard of it and rented it for my 5 year old daughter. Plus, the idea of Christopher Walken singing and dancing made me curious. The special fx are cheesy and the singing and dancing is mediocre. But the story is great. My daughter was entranced. I loved watching Walken in this role thinking about what the future held for him. Very amusing to see him dance! And if the songs weren't great, at least they weren't Disney over-produced saccharine sweetness. The ogre scene in the beginning was a little scary for her, and she was a little nervous when we saw him again at the end, but it was mostly benign. Interestingly, we had recently read "Puss in Boots", and I had wondered about the implausibility of the story. But while staying true to almost every aspect, Walken's acting made it believable. Great fun. I'd watch it again with my daughter.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Having first watched the movie at 14, I remember being struck by hearing the word 'govno' (sh*t) for the first time ever on the then-still-Soviet TV (I bet it really was *the* first time in history anyone wants to add this to trivia section?:)... What an open boldness and freedom, I thought! As years passed, I was more and more impressed with the movie and the incredible acting, but my feelings turned to a kind of mixture of enjoyment from a genuine piece of cinematographic art and a bitter realization of a concept diametrically opposite to my 14-y.o. impression: helplessness. There's an air of inevitable catastrophe looming throughout the movie, of primitive degenerate tide (embodied by Sharikov) sweeping the lives of the finest minds advancing humanity in their areas... It's a great metaphor of Russian revolution in general, inspired by intellectuals ashamed of their superiority and hoping to 'upgrade' the lower classes, only to unleash the power of mediocrity and get swallowed by it... An extremely fine and talented piece, wrapping a truly sad idea in a brilliantly satiric and elegant form. Symbolically enough, the movie itself marked the end of the Soviet movie traditions era before the Hollywood tsunami had knocked them over for good, it seems, judging by most current Russian movies (most of them labeled 'blockbusters' in prerelease!!! trailers and posters:).

Funnily, that 'govno' episode is in no contradiction to Efenstor's comment above re rude language of current generation... From what I've already said it could seem that this might be the movie that showed the way for this, but it was not. A mild word by current standards, it was way too rude back then, and just rude enough to show the true nature of all Sharikovs... BTW, re Efenstor's lament, it is sooo naive to juxtapose being intellectual and using rude lexicon, especially for Russian speakers, where a single cussword could have meanings that take sentences in translation! But I join in regret that ALL the meaning in today's teenager's talk may be expressed by cusswords. I feel that this is the bigger problem than their choice of the medium that's most efficient for the task:) Well, this movie and the book are great food for thought that might change them, or anyone who might have a luxury of watching it.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: In 1454, in France, the sorcerer Alaric de Marnac (Paul Naschy) is decapitated and his mistress Mabille De Lancre (Helga Line) is tortured to death accused of witchcraft, vampirism and lycanthropy. Before they die, they curse the next generations of their executioners. In the present days (in the 70's), Hugo de Marnac (Paul Naschy) and Sylvia (Betsabe Ruiz) and their friends Maurice Roland (Vic Winner) and his beloved Paula (Cristina Suriani) go to a seance session, where they evoke the spirit of Alaric de Marnac. They decide to travel to the Villas de Sade, a real estate of Hugo's family in the countryside, to seek a monastery with a hidden treasure. They find Alaric's head and the fiend possesses them, bringing Mabille back to life and executing the locals in gore sacrifices. After the death of her father, Elvira (Emma Cohen) recalls that he has the Thor's Hammer amulet hidden in a well; together with Maurice, they try to defeat the demoniac Alaric de Marnac and Mabille.

Last weekend I bought a box of horror genre with five DVDs of Paul Naschy per US$ 9.98; despite of having no references, I decided to take the chance. The first DVD with the uncut and restored version "Horror Rises from the Tomb" is a trash B (or C) movie that immediately made me recall Ed Wood. The ridiculous story is disclosed through awful screenplay, direction, performances, cinematography, decoration, special effects and edition and with lots of naked women. The result is simply hilarious and I can guarantee that Ed Wood's style is back. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): Not Available

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
You know you are in trouble watching a comedy, when the only amusing parts in it are from the Animal cast. It is a pity then that the parrot, Cat & Dog were only in support & not the other way around, as the humans in it were pretty abysmal throughout.

If I were you, Paul, Eva, Lake (what sort of name is that), Jason, & Lindsay, I would forget this acting lark & do something else, as all of you are as funny as watching paint dry, & awful actors to boot.

The main gag in the film is one of the characters shouting, me not Gay, which is funny as if you weren't, you might change your mind if you had to put up with the three bossy, tedious & dare I say very plain women leads in the film.

The worst film I have seen in years, & hopefully never see one as bad again, though I expect not.