Article: Feeling comfortable around others means feeling comfortable with yourself, too. If you feel insecure in who you are, other people will pick up on that in social interactions. Find activities that boost your self-confidence or allow you to develop self-confidence, and know that you can transfer those feelings to your social interactions. Maybe you're an excellent water skier, ballet dancer, or model car builder. If you feel anxious or uncomfortable, tap into the feelings of confidence that other activities give you to help put yourself at ease. If you find yourself lost in negative thoughts ("I'll be so awkward" or "I'm not going to enjoy myself") notice that you're engaging a negative thought, then provide a counterpoint. You can say, "I may really enjoy myself, and I give myself permission to have a good time" or "I can work on feeling awkward by practicing new skills." Don't talk yourself out of going to social events just because you feel uncomfortable. Anytime you are on the fence about going, use positive self-talk to encourage you to go. Think of it as an adventure to push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Remember that you're practicing social ''skills'', not social talents. Give yourself time to adjust to more positive self-talk. You may find yourself catastrophizing ("This will be so horrible" or "I bet no one will be there, and I'll be alone and feel so out of place") but learn to ignore these thoughts and return your focus to more positive thoughts. Sometimes you get along great with people, and other times you may just not click. If you find yourself not clicking with someone, remember that this is an isolated circumstance, and it doesn't mean you're socially awkward, that you're bad at conversation, or that people don't like you. If you're worried about how people will respond to you or if you'll be judged, remind yourself not to assign heavy value to the opinion's of others. Say to yourself, "People's opinions of me don't define my identity. They are entitled to their opinions as I am to my own." If you start feeling anxious around new people, tune into your body, especially your breath. You may notice your breathing quicken or feel more restricted. Calm your mind by calming your breath. Take a deep inhale, hold it for a few seconds, then let the breath leave your body slowly. Repeat as necessary. Learn to identify your stressful triggers and use relaxation techniques to calm yourself. This is especially helpful before you approach a social situation. Techniques such as meditation and yoga can help calm you down before you meet new people. When you notice your body tensing up before a social event or meeting, take note of the feelings and learn to relax your body. Notice the tension (perhaps in your shoulders or neck) and consciously release it. Have specific techniques you use before you go out to meet new people. If you have to attend a work function, spend a little time before the event in meditation, or go to a yoga class beforehand. Plan out your day so that you can approach the situation in the best possible mindset.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Build your self-confidence. Use positive self-talk. Avoid basing your worth on other people's reactions. Use your breath. Relax.