Article: This could be staging a romantic evening at home, with candles, a massage, and rose petals. Or it could mean thinking of a situation in the past where you were both turned on and feeling sexually connected. During these moments, were you taking more time for foreplay? Were you having sex in different positions, times of day, or locations? Try to create a situation where you were both turned on in the past and may be turned on now. Some couples find it difficult to have sex after having children. If you cannot recreate some of the past situations where you were both sexual due to your current commitments, focus on adjusting your daily schedule to make time. Ask your in laws to take the kids for the night, or plan a weekend getaway, just the two of you. Though it may not be exactly how it was in the past, you can still create moments now where you both are in the mood. Agree to charge your cellphones on the kitchen counter and leave your laptops in the living room. Reclaim your bedroom for the two of you to be intimate together, rather than text messaging or email. Eliminate distractions that may be coming between you and your partner, especially in the bedroom. Boredom is one of the major causes of sexual issues between married couples, especially when you both tend to fall into a routine or the usual go to positions in the bedroom. Discuss more adventurous positions or elements and be willing to try things you both haven't done before to see if you both find them enjoyable. Don't be afraid to experiment together. This could be as simple as taking a hot bath together, or a long massage with scented oils in bed. Sexy lingerie can also be a simple, but effective way to surprise your partner. You both may be interested in certain kinds of touching, different sexual positions, or integrating sex toys into your sexual routine. Look up positions or toys online, or go to a sex shop together and have fun browsing. Keep the experimentation fun and light. Rather than be embarrassed by your sexual desires, focus on being open and honest about what you prefer. Let your spouse know what you're interested in doing, or trying, so you can both work together to create a healthy sexual relationship. Use action-oriented terms and be specific. Rather than tell your partner, "I'd prefer we 'make love', rather than 'have sex'", describe what "making love" means to you. This could be something like, "I'd like us to spend more time kissing and touching", or "I like it when you touch my hair or touch me lightly on my face." It may seem strange to be so specific about your sexual needs, but the more detail you provide your partner, the more your partner can respond in kind. It can be difficult to put into words the things that turn you on. Offer a "hands-on" demonstration and show your spouse what you like. Chances are, it will be clear very quickly what turns you on, and your spouse will be able to follow your lead. Take turns showing each other how you like to be turned on. Be generous towards your spouse and focus on pleasing them. Your spouse should then do the same for you. If the prospect of showing your partner what you like seems uncomfortable, or daunting, get an "improve your sex life" self-help book and read it together at night. It will likely stimulate some great discussions and maybe some laughs. Though it may seem formal to schedule in time for sex, this can act as a form of reassurance that you will both make sex a priority. Try scheduling sex dates on a trial basis for six months. Focus on meeting the date and getting together in an intimate way, even if you don't have sex. This will help you to organize your time around being intimate, rather than trying to fit intimacy into your schedule. If you find it hard to get in the mood during the scheduled time, start by cuddling together or flirting with each other. Give each other compliments or simply listen to each other's day while lying in bed. Focus your full attention on your spouse and don't let distractions get in the way of your sexual chemistry.

What is a summary?
Set the mood. Turn off any distractions. Experiment with novelty. Be open about your preferences. Show, rather than tell. Schedule sex dates.