Sometimes, you just need a little time away from a person before you can forgive them for something hurtful they did. This is especially true if you're normally very close with the person and they did something that was thoughtless. You might even be able to do this without having to confront the person directly. If you need some space, try telling your family member that you're busy, but you'll catch up soon. Once you cool off a little, consider letting them know how much they hurt you, so they can make amends and keep from doing the same thing in the future. If, for some reason, it's not practical to cut ties completely with your family member, try meeting in a public space when you need to talk. Ask them to join you at a coffee shop, park, or restaurant, where either of you can walk away if you need to. Talking to your grandmother in the house she's lived in for 35 years will leave her feeling like she has the upper hand, and you'll be less likely to get your point across. On the other hand, having a confrontation in your home can make you feel like your safe space has been violated, especially if the other person doesn't leave when you ask them to. Once you make the decision to cut ties with the person who hurt you, you may decide to have a talk with them to let them know this. Let the person know that you no longer plan to visit, and you won't be answering their phone calls or other attempts to contact you. These conversations can be emotional and explosive, but try to stay calm, and keep in mind that soon this drama will be a part of the past. If you have a chance, it may help you stay calm if you plan out what you're going to say ahead of time. If you have been thinking about the fact that you don't want to participate in a toxic relationship anymore, and your family member does something to push your buttons, you may not have time to plan what you're going to say. Go ahead and tell them that you need some space. Start the conversation with something like, "I've decided it's best for my own mental health if I don't spend time around you anymore." If the person gets very upset, you could say, "I don't want to argue. I just need some space right now because I don't feel like this is a healthy relationship anymore." Then, leave as soon as possible. If you want to tell the person how you feel and you're afraid you'll have trouble expressing yourself in person, try writing out what you really want to say. Let them know that you plan on taking some time away from them. Consider making a copy of the letter so you can reference it if they claim you said something you didn't say. Writing a letter or email is an especially good option if the family member has a history of twisting your words, interrupting you when you talk, or becoming physically aggressive when they're upset. It's up to you whether you want to let them know exactly what they did wrong, or if you would rather just give them an overview, like saying, "I'm tired of your hurtful words, followed by a lack of apologies." Whether you're talking in person or you're writing a letter, you don't want to leave this conversation open-ended. Even if down the road you decide you can forgive your family member, they won't take you seriously if they think you're just complaining. Say something like, "I don't want to see you or hear from you." If you have children, set clear boundaries as to whether your family member can contact them, as well. Your family member may lash out after the conversation. They may spread rumors about you, try to get other family members not to speak to you, or try to manipulate you into repairing the relationship. If you're prepared for this ahead of time, you'll be more likely to stay strong. Your family member might even be genuinely sad about your decision to cut ties with them. Just remember that you should never be guilted into being around someone who makes you unhappy.
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One-sentence summary -- Take a time-out if you don't want to permanently end the relationship. Meet on neutral ground if you can't avoid seeing the person. Stay calm if you decide to talk to the person face-to-face. Send an email or a letter if you want to plan out your words. Be clear and straightforward about wanting to have distance from the person. Be aware they may try to manipulate you or others.

Article: Tortoises come in many varieties, and there are many factors to consider when it comes to choosing one, from the way you want your tortoise to look, the environment your tortoise prefers, and how much money you want to "shell out" on this shelled creature. Any type of tortoise you choose will make a wonderful pet for your family, once you commit to caring for this particular species. Some of the more common species of tortoises include the Sulcata, Leopard, Redfoot, Yellowfoot, Greek, Russian, Hermanns, and Indian Star. Here are some things you need to know about choosing a tortoise: Though the tortoise you bring home may be small and cute initially, some species of tortoises can grow over two feet in length after 5-10 years of care. If you're really committed to having one for a long time, try not to get caught in their appearance, and consider what species best suit your lifestyle, financial income, surroundings and whether or not you're able to provide the required care of that specific species. It's important to purchase your tortoise from a seller that you respect, who has a history of making a successful sale and who can promise that you have been given the tortoise under healthy conditions. Avoid getting your creature at a reptile show, because this may make it likely that you won't be able to get in touch with the seller again after buying a tortoise, so there's no way he or she can check up on how you're caring for your tortoise. Find a seller who prides themself in customer service, whether you are going to a pet store or finding your creature online. If your seller says that he or she will be easy to contact after the sale is made, then it's more likely that you are making a solid transaction. There are some legal restrictions on keeping or breeding some tortoises, especially Mediterranean breeds. If this is the case for the tortoise you want, then make sure the seller has a certificate from C.I.T.E.S. (Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species). If you're only around to take care of your tortoise for a year or two before you want to jump ship, then it may not be the ideal pet for you. Tortoises can live between 30~100 years, which means that your lovely pet may live longer than you. Don't let this scare you, though; just make sure you get a pet tortoise when you live in a stable environment and know you can find someone to take care of your tortoise if you have to move or leave. You don't have to be settled in one place for 50 years, but you should be prepared for many years of care for the new addition to your home.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Choose your tortoise. Buy your tortoise from a reputable seller. Make sure you can make a long commitment to your tortoise.