TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: what happens when you put martin lawrence in a fat suit in real life ?
you get martin lawrence in a coma ( the comedian thought he was getting fat , so he put on numerous layers of heavy clothing and went jogging in 100 degree heat , ending up in a coma ) .
so what happens when you put martin lawrence in a fat suit in the movies ?
you get an audience in a coma .
in big momma 's house , lawrence plays a fbi agent who 's a master of disguises .
when a naughty , naughty man escapes from jail and seeks out his former girlfriend ( the very sexy nia long . . .
the only thing worth looking at in this movie ) , she flees to georgia to stay with her rather large southern aunt " big momma " ( ella mitchell ) .
the fbi follows her in order to recover the large sum of money stolen in the bank robbery that sent the naughty man to jail .
however , big momma is called away on an emergency .
sensing that they could lose their only chance to capture the criminal , lawrence goes undercover as big momma .
and let the comedy begin !
big momma 's house is the definition of a " gimmick " movie if there ever was one .
the plot can basically be summed up as " martin lawrence dresses up as a fat woman " . . .
and even that description is too wordy .
you can just see this script plotted out on a chalkboard with martin lawrence / fat woman in the middle of the board with a big circle around it , and
all sorts of clich ?
d , " humorous " situations pointing to it .
fat woman plays basketball !
fat woman takes a dump !
fat woman kung fu !
well they left one off the board .
. .
movie critic slips into coma !
paul giamatti ( private parts , the negotiator ) plays lawrence 's partner and as much as i enjoy his work , even he ca n't inject life into this lifeless comedy .
hell , the greatest performers on the planet could n't make this material work . . .
it 's just that awful .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: in brief : best bleak comedy film
since heathers . full of wonderful swipes at the fifteen minutes of fame mentality that feeds so much of modern american pop culture .
go see it !
so , i prepared for this film by watching a moving interview on " hard copy " with pam smart , the new hampshire media teacher who was convicted of engineering the death of her husband back in the 1980 's .
" hard copy " 's diane diamond asked smart what she thought about nicole kidman 's fictionalized portrayal of her in the new film to die for .
smart replied that she thought kidman 's character came off as a dumb , vicious tramp
and she thought that the publicity the new movie generates might just hurt her chances in her latest court appeal .
( smart was convicted and given a life sentence for her part in the murder of her husband . )
smart 's got a point .
it would n't be the first time that the public took the better scripted and well - acted movie version of an event as the absolute truth over the duller and far less artistic real life version .
however , given a choice between the mass media ' happening ' of the real event and the fictionalized movie , i would definitely opt for the later .
real murderers rarely have dialogue as witty as what buck henry has written for this movie and smart , while pretty and alluring , is no match for the cinematic charms of nicole kidman .
to die for begins in a town called little hope , new hampshire , the archetypal dry and intellectually barren american suburb .
the story concerns the ambitious suzanne stone and how she tackles the obstacles between her and her life long ambition of being ' on tv . '
of course , one of those little obstacles turns out to be her dull and unambitious husband larry , played by matt dillon .
but , with a little imagination , some charm and raw sex appeal and a rather novel approach to junior achievement , our heroine manages to overcome the nay - sayers in her life , at least temporarily .
kidman triumphs in the trashy role of suzanne .
i have never really been all that fond of this actress but
she shows a wonderful flair for comedy in this picture .
her portrayal of the incredibly shallow and dumb femme fatale resonates .
kidman knows a star - making role when she sees it
and she plays the conscience - deprived suzanne as the ultimate career driven , post - feminist uber - temptress from hell .
she is ably abetted by wonderfully demented comic dialogue , which kidman delivers in a unselfconsciously funny way .
at one point suzanne is expounding on her knowledge of world events to her future husband and sister - in - law .
"
you know , " she knowingly exclaims , " gorbachev would still be the leader of russia or whatever , if he had just had that ugly purplish thing removed from his head .
"
her husband beams at suzanne 's profound knowledge of world politics and then proudly proclaims that this qualifies her to be the next barbara walters .
this is very close to pop culture bashing heaven , folks .
the other standout performance in the film is delivered by joaquin phoenix .
he plays jimmy , a burned out teenager who becomes addicted to suzanne 's sexual favors .
kidman 's character , vapid though she is , is a sort of suave beacon of success to jimmy and his lost friends russell and lydia , winningly portrayed by casey affleck and alison folland .
phoenix looks like the very embodiment of gen - x slackerhood ( as envisioned by tabloid tv , of course ) .
his jimmy has the dead eyes and demeanor of a kid who knows that he ai n't going anywhere , ever .
phoenix reacts to the sexy suzanne with a sort of obsessed amazement
and he makes us believe that a loser character like jimmy really would be willing to kill for someone like suzanne , someone who actually noticed him .
gus van sant ( drugstore cowboy ,
my own private idaho )
direction is first - rate .
he keeps the pacing in this not - quite - thriller snapping along .
van sant rightly keeps the focus of this movie on the amoral suzanne and does n't stop to proselytize the audience about the rightness or wrongness of her actions .
van sant trusts his material and trusts his audience to ' get it ' without stopping to explain what is funny about this all - american story .
the screenplay , by buck henry , is absolutely great and includes some of the best bleakly comic lines i 've heard since heathers .
henry 's story is a blast against the shallowness of the american media and the mindlessness of fame , yet the screenplay delivers this sharp message by focusing on just a few characters .
henry
ably manages to avoid diluting his story by aiming at too many targets and the result is a crisp and funny mini - classic .
danny elfman did the original music for this movie and he delivers another eccentric , loopy score that strongly echoes his themes for edward scissorhands .
either film score would make wonderful background music for halloween trick - or - treat parties .
all - in - all , a wonderful production , well worth your seven bucks ! to die for : a columbia pictures release directed by gus van sant .
written by buck henry score by danny elfman starring nicole kidman , matt dillon , joachin phoenix based on the book by joyce maynard .
rated r - for language and mature themes .
( respect the r , not for under 14 's ) rating ----- stars .
go see it .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: roman emperor marcus aurelius ( richard harris ) chooses his trusted general maximus ( russell crowe ) as his successor .
however the emperor 's evil son commodus ( joaquin phoenix ) murders his father before the announcement can be made , and maximus ( as well as his family ) is sentenced to be executed .
maximus is able to escape his executioners , but is later captured and sold as a slave to proximo ( oliver reed ) .
proximo is looking for gladiators to earn himself money ( he being a former gladiator himself ) , and maximus reluctantly uses his skills to prove himself a powerful gladiator .
when emperor commodus announces that new games will be held in the colisseum , proximo takes his gladiators there to do battle .
maximus sees this as his chance to exact revenge on commodus .
gladiator begins with a great battle sequence between the roman army and germania , and actually is able to maintain interest during the now required " 40 minutes of exposition after a kick ass opening sequence " style of moviemaking .
the only downfall of the opening sequence is the editing style used . . .
it 's choppy slow - motion which is unsettling and distracting .
it 's similar to the opening sequence in saving private ryan , but nowhere near as effective .
the actual gladiator battles are thrilling , but also a bit disjointed .
many times it 's unclear as to exactly what 's going on .
. .
all the audience can tell is that blood is being spilled .
we 're not sure who 's blood or by who 's hand though .
there 's an instance of this earlier in the film too
that 's disappointing .
it 's comes when maximus escapes his executioners .
some flashes and a few quick cuts later and maximus is free . . .
but i still do n't know exactly how he did it .
russell crowe should have become a major star after his gleefully over the top role as a computer generated serial killer in 1995 's virtuosity .
for whatever reason his stardom never arrived . . .
but he should have it now .
from here on moviegoers should now be able to say , " let 's go see the new russell crowe movie " .
he gets the best scene in the film ( and one of the best moments of all recent movies ) when he reveals his identity to commodus in the colisseum .
it 's both rousing and chilling
.
joaquin phoenix
does a very effective job of making commodus a person and not just a cartoon character ( which could have easily happened ) .
commodus is conniving , sneaky and whiny , but phoenix never lets the character get silly .
it 's a very good ( and very creepy ) performance .
oliver reed died during the filming of gladiator , and it 's a huge loss to the acting world .
i 've always been fascinated with reed .
. .
he 's one of those very talented performers who once had a fine career but ended up in direct to video junk during his twilight years .
it 's ironic that this film probably would have gotten him back into real movies again , as he gives a fun and sincere performance .
the film is dedicated to him , and he will surely be missed .
reed 's death presented the filmmakers with an obvious problem , as he still had scenes to be completed . rather than recast the role ( and end up reshooting a great deal of footage ) , a digital version of oliver reed was created at a reported cost of 2 million dollars .
ironically , that was probably more money than reed ever earned for a single film .
anyway , this digital effect is only used in one scene that i am aware of ( for about twenty seconds ) and if you are n't looking for it you wo n't even be able to tell .
some of the other digital effects are less convincing however .
. .
and like i always say , noticable digital effects take me out of a movie immediately .
it 's sad that such a good film has these distractions .
movies like the fall of the roman empire and spartacus seemed to do okay without the use of computer effects .
keep in mind that gladiator is based on real people and real events , but is entirely a work of fiction .
however it 's a work of fiction that 's great entertainment , and
another film to add to the list of damn fine flicks released in 2000 a .
d .

SOLUTION:
P