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It is common for a person who feels fearful to be anxious about uncertain outcomes. This is a struggle because no situation can promise 100% certainty. Therefore, you must learn to become more comfortable with it. Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of your day-to-day life. How you respond to it is where you can make a change. One method would be to act "as if" you are comfortable with uncertainty. First, examine the things you do to avoid uncertainty just to feel more certain. Write down your answers to the following questions: Do you double and triple-check most of the things you do? Do you avoid events or procrastinate a lot? Do you need excessive amounts of reassurance from others? Do you need an abundance of information before making even small decisions? Next, identify the situations in which you feel anxious about uncertainty, and what you do to feel less anxious. Rank the situations on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest level of anxiety, and 1 being the lowest. Next, start with the least anxiety-provoking activity and practice acting "as if" you were tolerant of uncertainty. For example, you could go to a movie without checking the crime rate in the area. Finally, keep a written record of your results. Ask yourself what you did, whether it was harder or easier than anticipated, whether everything turned out well, and how you adapted if it didn't turn out as you had planned. Writing these things down will help you see the improvements you make and the way to change your behavior. You are stronger than you think. You will continue to improve your coping skills as you successfully deal with challenges. For example, take notice of the way you effectively cope with another type of fear in your life and apply the same technique. Also, observe how someone you admire copes with difficult situations. Ask them for suggestions that you can implement. Following a problem solving model will provide you a structure for creating change. You have identified your fear and associated emotions and now you must determine clear objectives, implement them, make adjustments as needed and monitor your progress. One objective may be that you set a schedule and keep a log of how much time you spend worrying about making it safely to school, work or the store. Self-monitoring leads to real change. You can examine your behaviors and develop ways to change them. It is important to keep the information you hear from others and the media in perspective. If you inundate yourself with negative thoughts and information, it will skew your perception of reality. Pause and think clearly and you will realize that the chances of the same crime happening again or even at all, are minuscule. When you're tempted to believe that the chances of getting murdered are increasing, stop and ask yourself something like: Are they really? And why do I think that? Are those facts credible? Taking the time to question your thoughts can break the cycle of being obsessed with them. Personal struggles can leave you feeling bad about yourself. Unfortunately, since feeling fearful involves worrying, you may be worrying that you are worrying too much. Anxiety and worry are a natural part of life, and you can learn to manage it rather than try to eliminate it or feel bad about yourself because of it. The cognitive behavior therapy you may be participating in will help you examine your thoughts and develop new, more effective ways of thinking about yourself as well as helping you manage anxiety and worry. Inhibitions are feelings that make you self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way. In order to let go of what is holding you back you must feel safe with yourself, your surroundings and the people around you. Let go by rediscovering your playful side. As they say: laughter is the best medicine. When you play and laugh it increases feelings of freedom, which allows you to feel less anxious and worried. Play and laughter will help you remain positive and optimistic through difficult situations and has been shown to be healing. Schedule regular sessions of play on the calendar: meet with friends; play with children; host events that you enjoy; go with a friend to play golf, or bowl or sing karaoke. Most importantly, surround yourself with playful people.
Learn to increase your tolerance for uncertainty. Continue to build coping skills. Keep life in perspective. Accept yourself. Let go of what is holding you back.