Article: Consider leaving behind friends who keep you focused on the past. The social environment we live is an essential part of what defines both who we are. It also affects how we incorporate unresolved past experiences into our lives. Spend some time thinking (or maybe writing in your journal) about the people you spend time with and how they make you feel. If there are people in your life who make you feel bad or reinforce negative habits, consider spending less time with them. For example, people who constantly put you down may not be good to have in your life. Friends who make it difficult for you to do what you need to do to incorporate difficult past experiences can also be a problem. Consider making new friends, or at least initiating a change of scenery. This isn't always easy, but can be a great way to force you out of your comfort zone and grow as a person. It's a good idea to try new hobbies with your new companions. When you're ready, start to push the boundaries of your comfort zone by joining a local sports team or art class. New directions for your life will gradually emerge that might not have otherwise seemed possible. Don't upset yourself by thinking about people who did not respect and appreciate you. Instead, concentrate on those who stick by your side. Let them know you appreciate their help. It can be hard not to dwell on negativity. But, your supportive friends are the ones who deserve your attention. Keep good friends close by during this time. Having a supportive community of people around you will help you stay strong. It will allow you to feel confident enough to engage with unresolved past experiences or difficult emotions without feeling alone. When you feel like you're slipping, try spending some time around someone you trust who can help keep you on the right track. If you feel that you are going to fall back into a bad habit, or are on the verge of despair, call a trusted friend and ask if he or she can meet you for coffee or swing by your house. Having someone around can help you feel supported. This can help you make through tough times. Systematic desensitization is the process of gradually easing people into potentially distressing situations while using relaxation techniques.The goal is over time to feel more comfortable experimenting with these situations on your own. This is an approach you can use to start getting comfortable with situations that are causing you a great deal of anxiety. Start by learning basic relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises or meditation. Then, expose yourself to situations that remind you of those that make you feel uncomfortable. Use the relaxation techniques you've learned to stay calm. Start with short exposures to stressful situations. The key here is to move at your own pace, guarding against pushing yourself too far. Eventually, you should be able to engage comfortably in situations that currently cause you distress. For example, imagine you were attacked and badly hurt by a vicious dog. You might start avoiding all dogs. To move beyond this, you could try visiting a trusted friend who has a dog you know to be friendly. Use relaxation techniques before and during a short visit to your friend's home. Try to visit often, staying a little longer each time. This might be difficult at first, but spending a little time with a non-threatening dog could help you overcome your feelings about the attack. Sometimes we develop habits that keep us from confronting and moving beyond unresolved experiences. They can keep us from incorporating their effects into our decisions in the present. Part of incorporating these effects is breaking these habits to confront your feelings. Let's stick with the example of a fear of dogs. If you were attacked by a dog, you might develop a habit of crossing the street when you see someone walking a dog. You might get to the point where you do this without even thinking about it. In the short run, this might reduce your anxiety. But in the long run, it might be preventing you from getting over your fear. If nothing else, its an inconvenience. In this situation, you could make an effort to break this habit. You don't need to seek out dogs, but try to stop crossing the street when you see one coming. After getting comfortable with that, you might even ask that stranger if you could pet their dog. Gradually, this will help you let go of the traumatic event. Systematic desensitization can he helpful in trying to change counterproductive habits. Sometimes we don't notice how unresolved experiences have changed us. Our attempts to avoid them become embedded in our day-to-day habits. One way to become more aware of changes in behavior is to ask someone you trust if they notice anything odd in the way you've been acting. Other people often are able to pick up on things we aren't able to notice in ourselves. For example, after a breakup you could ask your best friend: "have I been acting weird in any way since me and my girlfriend broke up?" Sit down make a list of all the times you avoided doing something because you were afraid or didn't want to feel uncomfortable. You don't even have to know why you were afraid at the time. Sometimes just writing about your feelings about past experiences can be a great way to allow them to flow more openly. This can be especially valuable if you don't have a good friend around to ask about your behavior. As the ideas start to flow, think about new ways you can approach these situations in the future. For example, imagine your list makes it clear that you're hesitant to go out with your friends. Start by inviting them over to your house so you have a little bit more control over the situation. Maybe invite those you are closest to over at first, and then after a few visits, ask them to bring over some people you don't know very well. Take it slow and don't be afraid to ask for help from people you trust. A gradual progression can help you incorporate the effects of most negative past experiences that you haven't been able to resolve. By slowly pushing yourself in ways that might have made you uncomfortable before, dysfunctional habits will begin to fade away. Then you can start working towards building new, more functional habits in your day-to-day life.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Evaluate your social circle. Be grateful for the friends who support you. Try systematic desensitization. Engage with your fears and alter your habits. Make a list to track your behavior.
Article: Until you are 14, you have limited choices for "real" jobs. Agricultural work is one of them. If you live in a rural or semi-rural area, you might have some farms in the area that are in need of some part-time help. In many places, individuals under 14 years of age can be hired to deliver newspapers. You can call or visit the newspaper office in your area to ask if they are hiring people to deliver papers. If your newspaper office isn't currently hiring, check back periodically. Doing so will demonstrate that you are serious about the job. You can also ask if they keep applications on file for future openings. While you have to be 14 years old in most states to have a part-time job, one exception is working for your family business. If your parents have a business, ask them if they would be willing to hire you for small tasks. Working a couple hours a day or on weekends for your family business will give you good work experience for when you are old enough to have a different job.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Look for agricultural work. Do a paper route. Work for your family business.