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Ask people about themselves. Ask for a favor. Talk about what interests the other person. Be empathetic. Flatter them. Embarrass yourself. Touch them. Make them feel good.
Be interested in them. What conversation is better than with a person who is genuinely interested in what you are saying? If you are in a conversation and hear yourself saying "I did this, I did that," stop yourself. Ask the other person's opinion. Conversations are two-way streets! It is always better to mean what you are saying. People know when you have false humility. Setting out to show interest in people about whom you really don't care just for the sake of gaining popularity doesn't work in the long run, so become the sort of person who is truly interested in others! If a particular topic is really difficult for you to feign interest, steer the conversation in a different direction. This one may sound kind of funny if you're not familiar with it -- it's a technique known as the "Benjamin Franklin Effect." Basically, you ask for a favor, the other person does it for you, you thank them, and they end up liking you more. You'd think that the person having something done for them would like the other, but it's not so. So the next time you feel the need to borrow something, don't hesitate to ask! The idea here is that everyone likes being useful and everyone prefers to have someone indebted to them -- instead of having debts to others. They gain a sense of power and purpose from you, causing them to like you more. Just don't do it all the time -- too many favors and you become pesky. If you know their hobbies or passions, ask! This will usually get them going non-stop and take the heat off you! They will go on and on feeling like you two are having an epic conversation when really you've been resigned to nodding because you can't get a word in edgewise. If you can remember something they mentioned in passing, they'll be doubly impressed. Take opportunities to use their name. People love hearing their name. As Dale Carnegie puts it, to them it is the sweetest sound in the entire language. It validates them and subsequently they feel reassured and happier. If you can slip it in, do so. Pretty straightforward and logical, huh? But oddly enough, even though humans (on some level) know this, it's so much easier not to do it. We're all concerned with me, me, me and waiting for the next time we can add to a conversation. To amplify your likeability, turn the spotlight over to the other person. Focus on understanding them. A simple turn of phrase can do the trick. Let's say someone is explaining to you a recent problem of theirs. Your automatic response is, "I understand how you feel." That should seem fairly harmless, right? But you've just put the focus on you and your abilities -- and what's more, the other person may be thinking, "No. You don't." Instead, opt for something lesscliched (and thus more meaningful, even if it is ultimately self-serving) like, "So you feel like X, X, and X." Just reiterating what they're saying will make them feel paid attention to and, well, good. Another one that seems really obvious. Unfortunately, paying others compliments sometimes can be awkward (lots of people don't know how to handle them!) and seem as if you have ill motivations (a relationship, for example). For starters, get over yourself. Everyone loves it. Well, a genuine, well-timed one, at least! Make sure your flattery is purposeful and appropriate. If someone clearly had a rough night and still has the grime on their skin from the floor of a neglected public bathroom, don't tell them how beautiful they look. Compliments need to be genuine in order to be appreciated and taken seriously. Telling a guy that you like his tie is well and good, but what would he say back? "Thanks, it was made by children in a far away factory and I had nothing at all to do with it?" Okay, so he probably won't say that, but you get the point. Compliment him on his awesome Powerpoint presentation, his sense of humor, something that matters to him or something that he actually worked on. He'll love the validation. Once we reach the ripe ol' age of about 5 1/2, we start realizing that society is looking at us 24/7 and certain behaviors are viewed as just wrong and welcome in scrutiny. Since humans can't stand scrutiny, we avoid it like the plague. Unfortunately, those embarrassing moments still happen to all of us, so when we see it happen to someone else, we feel their pain. And that person? We like them more for it. When you see someone, let's say, caught with their pants down, there is an automatic reaction on both of your parts. The pant-less probably laughs (hopefully), turns a little red, maybe cracks a joke, shakes their head, face-palms, and tries to go about their day with a shred of dignity. What have they done? They've shown you that they are human. They brought down a peg and acknowledged it by their behavior. That's likeable. They're real. Let's say the same situation happened again, but with a different person. This time they keep a stoic face, situates their drawers back up, gives a terse nod, and goes on their way. Not at all endearing. Their behavior didn't accept their embarrassment and therefore there's nothing to relate to, to sympathize with, or to find charming. Not likeable in the slightest. Straight up, if you want to feel a connection with a person, you touch them. Obviously every relationship is different and thus different levels of touching are good -- but in general, it's effective at establishing a bond. The slightest one will do! Imagine greeting someone briefly as you walk by with a quick "Hi." It was a fleeting moment where it seemed as if you didn't have time for the other person. Now, imagine the same scenario where you walk by quickly, give a short hello, but you lightly touch their shoulder. Bam! Physical connection. Focus. You're on their radar -- like, like, and like. Another big duh, huh? The overarching theme of this article is really just making the other person feel good. It's how you do it where the options come in. Every person is a bit different, but we all share similar qualities. We all want attention, to be happy, and to feel like we're cared for and useful. And for those people that gives us those things, we like them. It's best to use a number of tactics to accomplish this. Just flattery, or just asking for favors, or just smiling won't do it. You've got to sprinkle them all in. If you keep the focus on them, that should prep you for action -- asking questions (attention), complimenting (building them up), looking for advice (making them feel wise and purposeful), and showing empathy (being cared for). When they feel good about themselves, they'll feel good about you.