Article: with her. When you see her struggling to calm down on her own, lead her into a deep breathing exercise that promotes the natural relaxation response. To practice deep breathing: Find a quiet, comfortable place in which the two of you can sit without distractions. Either sit up straight with a cushion or use a chair for support. Relax your shoulders and rest your hands on your thighs. Both of you should place one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen. Breathe in deeply through your nose for 4 to 8 counts. The hand on your abdomen should expand with your belly. Hold the breath briefly, for 1 to 2 counts. Then, release the air out through your mouth, watching your hand fall with your belly, for the same number of counts as the inhale. The hand on your chest should move very little. Repeat the inhale-exhale process for 5 to 10 min, or until she becomes more relaxed. Another technique you can try to get her to loosen up and relax is progressive muscle relaxation. This exercise helps you to notice where you are holding tension in your body and know what relaxation feels like in these tense areas. Grab comfortable seats in chairs or on the sofa. Start with a few minutes of deep breathing to stimulate calm. Start at your feet and move up. Notice how your feet feel. Take several seconds to become aware of this feeling. Then, gradually contract the muscles in your feet until they are extremely tense. Hold for 10 counts. Release the tension, taking note of how it simply melts away. Stay in this state for about 10 counts, continuing to breath deeply. Move slowly up through the body contracting and releasing each muscle group. The intensity of working out may not immediately come to mind when thinking of way to help calm someone down, but physical activity is a terrific way to relieve stress and promote a positive mood. Exercise generates those feel-good chemicals in the brain called endorphins that tend to make you feel more energetic and brighter about life. If you see her having a tough day, steer her towards a group fitness class like Zumba to get moving and form social connections. Other ideas include running, walking, yoga, playing basketball, swimming, and hiking. Guided imagery or visualization is another approach that promotes the body's natural relaxation response. This practice can be carried out by listening to an audiotape or following along to a YouTube video. Here's how it works: Find a quiet, serene place to listen to a guided visualization exercise or choose to use your own minds. The idea is start by deep breathing. Then, begin visualizing a place that makes each of you feel safe or happy, such as grandma's house, the local water hole, or an exotic beach. Use at least three of your senses to envision this place. Don't just stop at how it looks in your mind. Also, bring to mind how it smells (e.g. freshly baked cookies or coconut) or tastes (e.g. chocolate chips or salty air). Move deeper and deeper into a state of relaxation as you take in the sensations and surroundings of your special place. Research shows that classical music is especially effective at producing a calming state of mind. However, it really depends on her, maybe she just wants to forget her problems temporarily and shake her hips to a tribal drum beat. Or, she may want to commiserate by listening to songs that describe her feelings. As long as it's relaxing to her, it doesn't matter what type of music it is.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Breathe deeply Do progressive muscle relaxation. Get some exercise. Do a guided imagery exercise together. Listen to soothing music.
Article: Smiles are the universal sign of acceptance and tend to be contagious. Joking is very important in social circles. Smiling and laughing is a universal trait among all people, regardless of their interests. Humor hasn't just been proven to make oneself feel good, it has also been shown to spark positive feelings in others. People prefer others who make them feel good. Using self-deprecating humor is a great way of showing others that you don't take yourself so seriously. Say things like, "I'm so stupid, I tried to do my own hair this morning and I ended up looking like Cruella Deville." Being able to laugh at yourself puts others at ease with themselves. Try to avoid humor that mocks or disparages others unless it is done in a playful atmosphere. Playing "the dozens" with your friends can sometimes be a bonding experience so long as the focus is on humor and not on hurting feelings. Avoid playing insult-based games with peers whom you are not very familiar with, as this can come off as plain rude and offensive. Saying flattering things to people tends to make them like you more. Make sure that your compliments are genuine. Saying random, insincere compliments can actually have an opposite effect and make people feel insulted. For example, instead of saying something generic like, "Hey Deb, you're hair is so beautiful," try saying, "Hey Deb, I really love how soft and healthy your hair looks. You have no split ends!" Avoid over-complimenting a person. This is similar to being insincere in that it can make a person feel as though you are complimenting for shallow reasons. It's okay to talk about yourself once in a while, but for the most part, people love when others make them the center of attention. This is different than putting people on the spot in public. Don't randomly shine the spotlight on members of your group in front of others, as this could be embarrassing or insulting to quieter individuals. Instead, shift discussion to the other person when talking or interacting exclusively. Saying empathetic statements is a good way to shift focus onto others. Saying things like, "I understand how you feel," or "So you liked the concert last night?" are good conversation prompts to get others talking about themselves. Pepper in some personal info and opinions in between empathetic statements. This helps establish similarity and shows the other person you are actually listening. These are all reassuring behaviors that make others feel comfortable in your presence. Nodding is another behavior that others tend to imitate. Studies have shown that nodding while listening to something makes you more likely to agree with it. If you nod while you talk to others, chances are they will nod back and agree with what you are saying. Repeat words back in paraphrases, not word-for-word. Paraphrasing what others have just told you shows that you are actively listening to them, but repeating things word-for-word can come off like "parroting" and can insult the other person. Names are central to our identity, and hearing our names makes us feel validated as people. As a result, people are more likely to like you for saying their names. You will often have differing views on certain issues, but there are proper ways to convey your disagreement. Saying someone is wrong is often unnecessary and can be deeply insulting. Instead of saying "James, you are wrong for favoring capital punishment," ask "Why do you believe in capital punishment?" Listen to what they have to say, then seek to understand why they feel that way. Ask, "Why do you believe that? Why do you feel it's right?" Identify a common ground you share with them and then use that as a starting point to explain your position. For example: "I hate crime too, and I think punishments are warranted, but..." This is known as the "Ransberger Pivot," and it works because it increases the chances of persuading others by sharing common ground first. Instead of flat-out disagreeing, you can correct others without them losing face. Now that you have gained acceptance by your peers, define yourself in a way that is unique but still in line with your group's identity. Just because you want to fit in doesn't mean you can't excel. If you're the starting point guard on the junior varsity basketball team, wear your letterman jacket with pride. People are drawn to others who are talented but humble. Show pride but don't be cocky. Being different is just as natural as wanting to fit in. Trying to satisfy one by ignoring the other will most likely have bad consequences, so find a good balance for yourself. Embrace what makes you different as well as what makes you similar.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Tell jokes and smile a lot. Give sincere compliments to members in your group. Keep the focus on the members of the group. Nod, repeat words back, and use others' names frequently. Disagree politely, but don't tell others they are wrong. Stand out.