Write an article based on this "Confide your feelings to each other. Avoid blame. Learn to repair after an argument. Find the right kind of help. Practice patience."
This may be difficult, as many people are taught not to talk about our feelings. However, this is an essential part of rebuilding a marriage. An intimate relationship requires bravery. Saying your feelings means taking responsibility for them, rather than blaming the other person. As you move past the initial rebuilding stage, continue to deepen your relationship with one another. The best way to do this is through developing habits of trust and vulnerability. You may want to find your own ways to practice talking about feelings. For example, some marriages are helped by setting a "date night" where honest communication can happen. Other people find that communicating difficult feelings via writing can be easier. In a healthy marriage, each partner takes responsibility for her own thoughts, feelings, and words. You have a choice in how you respond to each other. A good practice to develop is to use "I" statements when talking about sensitive subjects with your spouse. Instead of saying "You did..." or "You felt...", try to stick to your own perspective. "I did..." or "I felt..." This simple technique will open the conversation to a deeper level of honesty. If your partner blames you for something, don't become defensive. This only escalates the situation. Instead, speak honestly about your feelings. Remember, your emotions and your emotional reactions are your own. They are not the responsibility of your spouse. Sometimes disagreements occur even in the healthiest marriage. You can minimize the damage they do by exiting the argument on a better feeling. Ways that couples find to repair their relationship after an argument include: using humor, finding ways to agree with one another, and showing sincere appreciation for the other person's perspective. Keeping your commitment to each other helps keep your argument in perspective. Remember the adage, "How important is it?" In 20 years, likely neither of you will remember this argument anyway. Your relationship is more important than being right in this disagreement. You can choose to focus on the positives in each other, even during an argument. Doing this is an excellent practice, offering deeper insight into your marriage. A therapist, professional or religious counselor can be helpful in understanding the patterns that developed in your marriage. Talk to each other about what kind of resources you might need to rebuild your marriage. While you may choose individually to seek help from a trusted resource, the person who helps you rebuild as a couple must work for both of you. For example, if you are a deeply religious person but your spouse is not, a religious counselor might not be the best choice for your marriage helper. Consider using a therapist or professional marriage counselor instead. A couple that knows more about the way their problems develop may be able to better resolve them, or they might need additional help. A counselor can help you learn to be patient with each other while you rebuild your marriage. A marriage won't be rebuilt overnight. It will take time to recognize and change long-established patterns of communication and trust. Learn to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and assume that she's acting in sincerity. Don't rush this process. Forgiveness and trust are very intimate issues, different for each person. Allow your spouse the time he needs to develop these qualities for himself, and allow yourself the same thing. Don't panic if these don't develop immediately. If you find yourself feeling angry or frustrated, take some time apart from one another to calm down.