Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: The main reason for 2 stars is the decor, good grief it's a visual carnival inside. I love the mash up of nutty stuff collected over the past 62 years. Too bad the food is so bad. I had a small side salad to start which the waiter described as Greek. Well it had cut up canned pickled beets on iceberg lettuce. Just odd. He brought a side of bread, wow Lance prepackaged breadsticks! I had no idea they still made those things. I think Sysco foods is making a killing here. For the pizza, ugh. Just bad. Frozen dough with chopped vegetables on it, little or no sauce. Tasteless is really the only way to describe it. It's really a shame because the location is so great. Feels like a family business that they have had so long, they lost the passion.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: LADIES BEWARE.. If you're an out of towner and want to die, stay here. My gf and I stayed at the Cosmopolitan during a visit to LV for my bday and upgraded to a suite, with balcony, upon arrival. The room was nicely decorated but dirty. The bathroom had white stains all over the marbletopped counter and there was dust all over the paintings/fixtures in the room. We cleaned the dust off with towels and used lysol wipes (yeah me for packing them!!) to disinfect the bathroom before getting ready to head out. After returning to our room around 3am, we fell out but were awakened by someone banging on our room door. Thinking some sort of emergency situation was going on, we jumped out of bed and ran to look out the keyhole to find a BEYOND DRUNK man going to town on the door. We called the front desk and asked that he be removed, however 15 minutes went by, STILL NO SECURITY. Afraid and exhausted, we tried to reason with the gentleman who now had his pinky finger in his mouth and seemed to be rubbing his lower body with his other hand. He continued banging and then had the audacity to put his eye up to the peephole, trying to see into our room. We called the front desk again and were told that security was not on site and that we simply had to wait. There was nothing they were able or really going to do until the offsite security got there. After what seemed like forever, the banging stopped and the man sat down in front of our door. We ended up not being able to leave for a 8am excursion we purchased tickets for. When we got to the front desk, we were connected to security who confirmed that they received the complaint and that the gentleman was removed in an indecent state from our front door. When we asked what they meant by "indecent" they refused to go into detail and stated that their reasoning for not contacting us to let us know it were safe to leave the room was because they did not know how to reach us. Umm..didn't you just say you removed him from in front of our room?! We called from the phone in our room, how were you not able to knock on the door, show your badge and let us know what was going on..wtf?! We complained to the Manager who must have had a nice big delicious mug of BITCH for breakfast. She basically told us she did not care since the situation was over and that it really was not any of our business as to what state the man was in when they found him. We later filed a report with security and were told that the man - "Nick" was naked in front of our door and had to be restrained and removed from the floor. He was not a guest..he was a trespasser and they had NO CLUE as to how he was able to gain access to the hotel, let alone get up to our floor without having a keycard for the elevator. BE VERY CAREFUL LADIES. The Cosmopolitan and their staff does not care about anything but getting your money, especially not your safety. "Nick" and his naked behind could have raped and killed someone and they would have covered it up, I promise.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A:
The fact that this is only the 93rd review for Deseo makes me want to break out my pimp hand and slap everyone that is not reviewing this restaurant. Deseo is easily one of the very best restaurants in all of Arizona. Being located in the amazing Westin Kierland Resort only makes it more of a treat. Walking around before and after add an ambience that driving up to a smaller restaurant in a strip mall will never have. I'm not one to go into great detail about the food so I will just say that everything I tried was simply incredible and I would go back a million times (and will to finish trying the whole menu...because I am a serious future fattie.) Here is what happened: Mojitos: The Nectar Grande and the Grand Grande were killer! Best Mojito I have ever had! Apps: Millionaire Tacos and Shrimp Chicharron!!! Entrees: Yuca wrapped dorado al ajillo (Mahi Mahi-Shrimp-Amarath-Shaved Calamari-roasted Garlic) Kobe Vaca Encebollada (Grilled Kobe Skirt Steak-Huancaina Potato-Oven dried tomato) Sides: Maduros Cubanos (Ripped Plantains) Alcachofa y Romesco (Roasted Artichoke-Roasted Tomato and Pepita Romesco) Dessert: Chocolate Cigar (Chocolate espuma-cappuccino gelato) They had to roll me out in a wheel barrel....and I applauded the chef heartily as they did so. Definitely Stop In!!! (and ask for server Samantha, she was fantastic.)