TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: it 's probably inevitable that the popular virtual reality genre ( " the matrix , " " existenz " ) would collide with the even more popular serial - killer genre ( " kiss the girls , " " se7en " ) .
the result should have been more interesting than " the cell .
"
as the movie opens , therapist catharine deane ( jennifer lopez ) treats a catatonic boy ( colton james ) by entering his mind through some sort of virtual reality technique that 's never fully explained .
after months of therapy sessions in a surreal desert , catharine has no success to report .
meanwhile , killer carl stargher ( vincent d'onofrio ) has claimed another victim .
his particular hobby is to kidnap young women , keep them in a glass cell overnight , and drown them .
he takes the corpse and soaks it in bleach , then suspends himself over the body and jerks off while watching a video tape of the drowning .
although carl 's been doing this for awhile , he 's recently become sloppy , and fbi agent peter novak ( vince vaughn ) is closing in fast .
not fast enough , though , to keep carl from sticking another woman ( tara subkoff ) in the cell or to catch him before he suffers a schizophrenic attack that leaves him in a coma .
from the videos in carl 's house , peter can see that the drowning cell is automated and will fill with water forty hours after the abduction .
to save the kidnapped girl , peter has to find the cell before the end of the day , and comatose carl 's not talking .
so off they go to catharine in the hope that she can go inside carl 's mind and find out where the cell is in time .
the focus of " the cell " in on the ornate interior of carl 's mind , but the universe director tarsem singh creates seems more an exercise in computer - generated spectacle than an exploration of the psychotic personality .
for the most part , it 's style without substance .
in his own mind , carl is a decadent emperor in flowing robes , ming the merciless , as well as a frightened boy ( jake thomas ) abused by his father .
all in all , the mind of a psycho killer turns out to be a strangely dull place , and i kept wishing i could fast - forward to the next development .
singh is best known for directing music videos , particularly rem 's " losing my religion , " and " the cell " seems very much like a really long , really slow mtv video with the sound deleted .
singer lopez seems to think she 's in a video as well ; she devotes more time to posing in elaborate costumes than she does to acting .
the premise had great promise .
the computer - generated world within carl 's mind could have been a bizarre , surreal universe governed by insanity and symbolism rather than logic .
the first room catharine enters in carl 's head shows this promise .
she finds a horse standing in center of the room ; suddenly , sheets of sharp - edged glass fall into the horse , dividing it into segments .
the panes of glass separate , pulling apart the pieces of the still - living horse .
this scene is twisted , disturbing , and thought - provoking , because the psychological importance of the horse and its fate is left to the viewer to ponder .
another element that should have been developed is the effect on catharine of merging with the mind of a psychopath .
their minds begin to bleed together at one point in the movie , and this should have provided an opportunity to discover the dark corners of catharine 's own psyche .
like sidney lumet 's " the offence " or michael mann 's " manhunter , " " the cell " could have explored how the madness of the killer brings out a repressed darkness in the investigator .
however , catharine 's character is hardly developed at all , and lopez has no depth to offer the role .
bottom line : do n't get trapped in this one .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: "
some houses are born bad , " goes the haunting 's tag line , to which i must add , " some movies , too .
"
nothing short of hiring a new cast , a more literate screenwriter , and a new director could have saved this tragically misguided adaptation of jackson 's meritorious novel .
the haunting is late entry summer dreck too slick to be creepy , and its seemingly endless stream of digital trickery and spooky ooky sound effects do n't frighten so much as numb the audience into submission
- the film is like a rube goldberg contraption rigged to shout " boo .
" fragile nell ( taylor ) , bisexual theo ( zeta - jones ) , and smiley luke ( wilson ) are three insomniacs who gather at the reputedly possessed hill house for an extended study on sleep disorders , hosted by professor marrow ( neeson ) .
marrow 's secretly gathering data on their respective paranoid responses to his recount of hill house 's bleak history .
he 's not prepared for the very real apparitions that terrorize the crew , nell especially , who has some ancestral connection to the manor 's previous inhabitants .
taylor is thoroughly insufferable in her first big - budget lead .
for starters , her consistently dour expression sucks the life out of even the early scenes , when we 're introduced to the mansion and all its fun - house trappings .
her character is supposed to be depressed , having tended to an unloving mother for too many years , but taylor plays nell as supernaturally lame , alternately grouchy , mopey , wiggy and pathetic , and i kept wondering why the other characters did n't just ditch this bitch
.
as for the obscenely photogenic zeta - jones , she breezes through her scenes with a wink and a smile and takes the scenery with her .
unfortunately , she 's saddled with some of the most unlikely dialogue the screenplay has to offer .
theo 's assessment of the house ?
"
i love it !
sort of charles foster kane meets the munsters .
" who on earth would say that in place of " citizen kane meets the munsters " ?
( furthermore , would you gladly spend a single night in a house befitting that description ? )
both actresses fare better than neeson , who looks embarrassed to be a part of this ensemble ( and for good reason ) , and his character is the most bland .
as luke puts it , dr .
marrow pulls the old " academic bait and switch " on his subjects , but he breaks down and confesses to this the second he 's accused .
later , he risks his life by climbing a crumbling stairwell to save nell ( it 's amusing to hear neeson shout " nell " repeatedly , given his starring role in the 1994 jodie foster vehicle of the same name ) .
why was this nice , helpful , and redemptive researcher so absent of ethics at the start ?
the haunting was well designed by eugenio zanetti .
his sets are obsessively detailed , and even before the cgi kicks in , they seem alive , never quite still .
i do have one beef with this aspect of the production :
the real life mansion used in exterior shots , nottinghamshire 's harlaxton manor , is so vast that one has trouble believing that nell and company , no matter how much running away they do from ghosts and goblins , always finish up in locations that were established in act one , as if all the action has been confined to one wing of hill house .
eighty million dollars was spent on the haunting , and despite a powerhouse box office debut ,
i doubt it will recoup its costs ( including marketing ) domestically .
thank jan de bont for that : proving for the third time that speed was a fluke , in that it was actually enjoyable , de bont has served up another ride , sans thrill .
his images , well - lit though they are , have an unmistakable been there - done that quality
; in fact , whole sequences , not to mention the cloaked , airy ghoul who owns the climax , feel lifted from a much smarter and infinitely more enjoyable spectacle from three summers back , peter jackson 's the frighteners .
i do n't mean to suggest de bont is a plagiarist , i mean to suggest that he 's a hack , having found no new ways to give us chills .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: it has happened again .
a movie that is well scripted , well acted , and well directed .
it is involving , suspenseful . . .
it even has an unexpected twist at the end
that packs a punch like a blow to the solar plexus .
but in order to accept its premise one must also accept a spiritual lie .
the sixth sense is that movie .
starring bruce willis ( armageddon ) as a child psychologist and haley joel osment ( forrest gump ) as a troubled youngster , the sixth sense is more spooky than scary , though it does contain disturbing images designed to startle .
eight - year - old cole sear ( osment ) sees dead people .
not just in dreams .
and not just as lifeless bodies .
he sees them walking around like regular people .
and he sees them all the time .
dr .
malcolm crowe ( willis ) is trying to help him .
he recognizes in cole many of the same attributes as one of his earlier patients whom crowe failed , resulting in that patient shooting crowe before turning the gun on himself .
if crowe could manage to find a way to help cole , he believes he just might be able to put his own demons to rest .
but first he needs to gain cole 's trust .
the boy is so frightened by what he sees , he has closed himself off emotionally , being unwilling to tell anyone . . .
not crowe , not even his own mother ( toni collette , clockwatchers ) . . .
about his " secrets .
" crowe begins to spend more and more time with him , even as his own marriage starts to dissolve around him , his wife anna ( olivia williams , rushmore ) becoming cold and distant because of his neglect of her and his preoccupation with the boy .
bruce willis underplays his role , allowing the excellent script to do most of the work of building character development .
crowe moves from treating a troubled boy who wo n't communicate , to treating a troubled boy who is having hallucinations , to wondering if perhaps there is n't some truth behind what the boy sees .
mr .
willis does a serviceable job , letting the focus remain on the story instead of on his familiar action hero screen persona .
eleven - year - old haley joel osment manages to impress us with his performance .
he demonstrates an amazing amount of self - composure as well as an ability to play nuances in a complex character
as if he were a seasoned pro .
it is fine work
for one of such a tender age .
keep your eye on this young man .
the supporting cast is also quite effective .
toni collette , as the confused , frightened , and frustrated mother who ca n't understand what is happening to her child ; olivia williams , as crowe 's once loving wife who is shutting down emotionally due to the lack of attention from her husband ; and donnie wahlberg ( ransom ) as crowe 's ex - patient , now grown , who illustrates his doctor 's failure to help him in the most vivid terms imaginable .
twenty - eight year old m . night shyamalan ( wide awake ) directed his own script , maintaining a proper tension throughout the film and crafting the storytelling so expertly that the film 's full impact is not reached until its final moments , when a surprising revelation forces a reevaluation of all that preceded it .
it is a rare movie which manages to pull that off and mr . shyamalan , as the one responsible , is certainly to be commended .
in giving the sixth sense a favorable " three star " review for its craftsmanship and artistic merit , i must also point out that , spiritually speaking , the film is highly misleading .
there is no scriptural foundation upon which to base a belief in ghosts or the " living dead .
"
the concept of death being a doorway to another plane of existence is a devilish lie that has been around as long as man himself .
the first lie recorded in the bible was devised by the serpent who assured eve , " thou shall not surely die , " a direct contradiction of god 's admonition .
that same lie has been perpetuated ad infinitum throughout the ages .
scriptures do speak of a time when the dead shall rise but that wonderful demonstration of victory over death will not commence until after the second coming of christ .
. .
an event which has not yet occurred .
therefore , the dead remain in a state of oblivion , having no consciousness , until that long - awaited time when the final trump shall sound .
and then , you 'll need six senses to register all the joy and rejoicing that will resound throughout the heavens .

SOLUTION:
P