Q: Rating your anger can help you realize what type of events make you angry and the degree they make you angry. Some events might cause mild irritation, while others might trigger you to blow your top. You don't need an official anger scale. You can make your own; for instance, you can rate your anger on a scale of one to ten, or zero to one hundred. If you feel that you're getting angry pretty regularly, it might help to keep track of the situations that anger you. You can track the degree to which they anger you, and what else was happening at the time. You can also keep track of how you react when you're angry, as well as how other people react to your anger. Think about the following questions when keeping an anger journal: What provoked the anger? Rate your anger. What thoughts occurred as you got angry? How did you react? How did others react to you? What was your mood right before it happened? What symptoms of anger did you feel in your body? How did you react? Did you want to leave, or act out (such as bang the door or hit something or someone), or did you say something sarcastic? What were your emotions immediately after the incident? What were your feelings a few hours after the episode? Was the episode resolved? Keeping track of this information will help you learn what situations and triggers you have to your anger. Then you can work to avoid those situations when possible, or predict when these situations occur if they are unavoidable. It will also help you track the progress you make at handling situations that anger you. A trigger is something that happens or that you experience that brings on an emotion or a memory. Some common triggers for anger are: Not being able to control other's actions Other people disappointing you for not meeting your expectations. Not being able to control daily life events, such as traffic. Someone trying to manipulate you. Getting mad at yourself for a mistake. Anger can become a big problem if your anger causes you to act aggressively towards other people. When anger is a constant reaction to everyday events and to the people around you, you can lose enjoyment and enrichment in our lives. Anger can interfere with your job, your relationships, and your social life. You can be incarcerated if you assault another person. Anger is a very powerful emotion that needs to be understood clearly to overcome its impact. Anger can make people feel entitled to the point where they can rationalize reasons to act in a socially irresponsible way. People who experience road rage, for instance, might feel justified when they run someone off the road because that person mistakenly cut them off. Some people use anger to avoid dealing with painful emotions. They get a temporary boost to their self-esteem. This also happens with people who have a really good reason to be angry. But when you use anger to avoid painful emotions, the pain still exists, and it isn't a permanent fix., A person can become accustomed to using anger as a distraction from pain. This is because anger is easier to deal with than pain. It can make you feel more in control. In this way, anger becomes a chronic way of dealing with feelings of vulnerability and fear. Many times, our automatic reaction to incidences have to do with the painful memories of our past. Your automatic anger reactions could be something you learned from a parent or caregiver. If you had a parent who got angry about everything and one parent who tried to keep that parent from getting angry, you have two models of dealing with anger: passive and aggressive. Both of these models are counterproductive to dealing with anger. If you were a victim of child abuse and neglect, for example, you had a model of dealing with anger that is counterproductive (aggressive). While examining these feelings can be painful, understanding what you were provided when you were a child will help you understand the ways you learned to cope with stress, difficult life situations, and difficult emotions such as sadness, fear, and anger. It's important to seek professional help for life traumas such as child abuse and neglect. Sometimes a person can re-traumatize himself without intending to by revisiting painful memories without the support of a clinician.
A: Rate your anger. Keep an anger journal. Identify your anger triggers. Understand the impact of your anger. Understand the root of your anger.

Q: Remind yourself those relationships occurred in the past and they didn't work for a reason. Try and focus instead on the present. Utilizing mindfulness techniques will help you to train your brain to stay in the moment. It will also help you to refocus when your thoughts drift to the past. Try a sense activity. Begin by naming things in the present moment that you can see, feel, hear, touch, taste, or smell. Repeat affirmations to refocus yourself on the present. Try "I am happy in my relationship now. I won't listen to my jealous thoughts." Engage in mindful appreciation. Notice 5 positive things about your relationship that usually go unnoticed or unappreciated. Reframing is a way to change how you view and think about things. Lately, you have been focusing on her past, but you are her present. Recognize that you, or the two of you together, have something she never had in her past relationship. She is choosing you over her ex by being with you. Choose her as well. Ask her what she values about your relationship. Notice if she is talking about a future with you. If so, then you know she is invested in your future together! Each time a thought about a past relationship or an ex comes up, try and replace it with a positive thought. There are things you love about her and your relationship. Whether you like it or not, her past comes along with that. Consider the fact that everything that has happened in her past has contributed to the person she is today. Accept her as a package deal, and try some thought replacement practices to help you get there. Think of a positive image you have about her, a great memory of something you have done together, or a feeling you have about your relationship together. Put your energy into making new memories with your girlfriend. As you work on moving on from both of your pasts, build your future together with new activities, photographs, and memories. This will help you focus more on your present and your future together than her past. Go on a vacation together. Plan a day trip somewhere you have both been meaning to go. Pretend to be tourists in your own town. Learn something new together.
A:
Live in the moment! Reframe the way you are viewing your present. Try thought replacement exercises. Focus on making new memories together.