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Many women with vaginismus can trace their symptoms to feelings of anxiety, fear, and stress. These can be more deeply rooted, or simply related to current factors of life, like lack of sleep and excessive work-related stress. Women with vaginismus are more likely than others to have deeply ingrained negativity about sex and sexuality. These feelings may date back to childhood, or they may be related to a particularly traumatic event. When negative underlying beliefs about sex start at a young age, another potential component of vaginismus comes into play--lack of proper sexual education. It is estimated that women with vaginismus are twice as likely to have a history of childhood sexual interference as non-sufferers. Events thought to contribute range from mild to severe traumas, and include the following: sexual abuse by someone familiar sexual assault pelvic trauma domestic violence highly negative early sexual experiences with a consensual partner If you have secondary and situational vaginismus, it may be rooted in issues with a sexual or romantic partner. These issues might include a lack of trust, a fear of commitment, or a concern about becoming too vulnerable or opening yourself up to pain and disappointment. A variety of conditions may provoke or heighten the symptoms of vaginismus. This is particularly likely if your vaginismus appeared after a period of normal sexual functioning. Potential medical conditions that can contribute to vaginismus include: urinary tract infections and other urinary problems sexually transmitted infections cancer of the sexual or reproductive organs endometriosis pelvic inflammatory disease vulvodynia or vestibulodynia Medical procedures involving female reproductive organs, like hysterectomies, can also cause vaginismus. For many women, the onset of secondary vaginismus is related to childbirth. This is more likely if it was very difficult or resulted in injuries to the sexual organs. Other women have vaginismus from the hormonal changes and dryness that usually occurs during menopause. Secondary vaginismus can also result from a fear of having children or going through childbirth. Some women never find out why they have vaginismus. They have no physical causes and no known non-physical causes. Some research even suggests that symptoms of vaginismus are part of general defense mechanisms that are triggered in threatening situations. This suggests that it need not always be viewed as a primarily sexual dysfunction.

summary: Consider the role of anxiety. Recognize underlying beliefs about sex and sexuality. Understand the role of past experiences. Know that relationship difficulties may contribute. Be aware that medical conditions and medications may play a role. Acknowledge the potential role of reproductive milestones. Accept a possible lack of apparent cause(s).

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Take out all of your family's bills and add up how much you spend each month on food, insurance, school, transportation, etc. Then calculate all sources of income. You need to buy a home within your budget. Use online calculators to estimate your monthly mortgage payment. For example, a $160,000 loan at 4% interest will cost about $764 each month. Your mortgage shouldn't be more than 31% of your monthly income, and your total debt to income ratio shouldn't exceed 43%. You can find townhouse listings on websites such as Trulia, Zillow, and Realtor.com. Search by location and price. Each listing should have pictures, so you can get some feel for the property. You can also set up alerts at some of these websites. You'll enter your criteria, and then receive an email whenever a townhouse that matches that criteria comes onto the market. A qualified real estate agent will know the market inside and out. They may also know about townhouses for sale that haven't been listed yet. You can buy a townhouse without an agent, but you should hire one if you can't find acceptable properties or are overwhelmed by the process. You can find an agent in your telephone book or online. Also ask friends or family if they would recommend any agent they have used in the past. You may absolutely want a townhouse, but at least consider common disadvantages so that you will make an informed choice. Consider the following: Townhouses share one or more walls with neighbors. If these neighbors are noisy, then you could be in for an uncomfortable stay in your new home. Many townhouses are governed by homeowner associations (HOAs), which might place restrictions on what you can do. For example, an HOA can prohibit you from having a pet or remodeling your townhouse. HOAs also charge annual fees. You may be responsible for the upkeep of any personal, non-communal outdoor areas. If you don't want any maintenance responsibilities, then you should consider a condo. Once you've identified properties, contact the seller's agent and schedule a showing. You can also stop by if there are any open houses. While walking through the townhouse, pay attention to the following: Check if you can hear any noise coming through the walls. If the townhouse has been properly insulated, then noise should be minimal. Also take a peek at the yard. You'll probably be responsible for upkeep. Consider whether you are happy with the property as is or if you want to renovate. Figure out why the owner is selling. Are they retiring and needing to downsize? If so, they might not be in a hurry to sell. However, they might have gotten a new job in a different city and need to move. If so, they might be desperate to sell, which means you can be more aggressive when it comes to price. Check how much the owner regularly pays for utilities. This amount will impact whether you can afford the property. Ask whether there are any restrictions on renovating.

summary: Decide how much house you can afford. Look at online listings. Hire a real estate agent, if you need help. Consider the disadvantages of owning a townhouse. Visit properties. Ask the owner questions.

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One of the best ways to acclimate to a new location is to go exploring. Familiarize yourself with your new surroundings so that it doesn't seem so foreign. This will help you feel more at home while you're traveling. Try taking a walk each day to a new part of town. Even if you stay in your own neighborhood, this can still be a very grounding exercise. Download a walking or touring app like Field Trip or Cities Talking to help you find your way around. Document your travels by taking a lot of pictures. You'll want to remember your time away once you return home, and photos are great mementos for you to bring home with you. Additionally, you can post the photos on your social media accounts to stay connected to friends and family at home while you are traveling. Create some semblance of a routine for yourself to avoid homesickness if you're staying somewhere for a long period. Activities such as going to the same coffee shop every morning will give you a sense of familiarity with your surroundings that will comfort you. People will begin to recognize you if you start frequenting the same places. Once starts to happen, you will feel more of a sense of community with the new location, like you belong. Talking with other people from your native country or home state will make you feel a little less out of place when you travel. Seek out a pub or bar that televises your favorite sport and enjoy some camaraderie with some new friends to forget that you're far from home. Spending time with other travelers will help you feel less lonely and give you an outlet to vent about any problems you may encounter or homesickness you might be feeling. Splurge on a fancy restaurant meal, an exotic new coat, or a pair of boots when you travel. You'll feel good about yourself and will appreciate the area where you're traveling more by enjoying some of the nicer things the region has to offer. This can help you focus more on creating a positive experience for yourself, rather than focusing on how much you miss home. Create a list of all of the things you want to do, see, or experience while you are traveling. Make an effort to do each thing and then cross them off as you work your way through the list. This will give you something to focus on and create goals for you to achieve while you're away from home. Include things like restaurants you want to eat at, local tourist sites you want to visit, various local cuisines you want to try, or any other local experience you can't get at home.
summary: Explore your new area. Take lots of photos. Form a routine. Make new friends. Treat yourself. Make a bucket list.