Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: Can I just live here? That phrase popped into my head about 30 minutes into my first stay at Hotel Le Crystal and has resided there ever since (Note to self: check lobby for thought projectors) I have distinct recollections of traveling around the world and staying in establishments that aspired toward 1 star status. I remember looking longingly into the lobbies of the 5 star places and thinking "One day..." This is the hotel I imagined for "One day" Everything about this hotel simply works. This is not a statement that I make lightly. The aforementioned "One day" happened 20 years ago for me, and since then I have had the good fortune to stay in more than my fair share of the worlds greatest hotels. Here's what makes this one so great: Perfectly balanced use of space to provide a separate bedroom and a fully functional lounge complete with kitchenette AND Nespresso machine. The bathrooms are modern opulence with a rain shower extraordinaire and Mouton Brown toiletries. Well-trained staff are anticipatory, without being intrusive. They work so seamlessly that other high-end hotels should watch scouting films to learn how it's done! Excellent restaurant - La Coupole - onsite. Top notch cuisine and a cool elegant bright room for a power lunch. One of all time favourites in Montreal - oh hell anywhere! OH - They went ahead and answered my wishful thinking - Yes, you CAN live here. There are suite for sale. Bastards!

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Worst of airport food. Since the owning company is in Arizona, they obviously need to come out unannounced and do a quality check. The meat was very gristle ridden and almost flavorless. Salt and pepper are desperately needed. The onions were totally under done and the meat seemed precooked so it was overcooked when served. The fries were not completely cooked. They should strive to be like Charlies in the Atlanta airport and less like an greedy food vendor who doesn't care about quality.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
Let me start off by saying, I LOVE Chipotle. I don't just like the place, I love it. I've been obsessed with their burritos since this location opened over a decade ago. I've tried everything on the menu more than once, and although I have my favorites, I can honestly say there isn't one item on the menu I don't love. I consider myself a bit if a connoisseur having eaten Chipotle so many times, this being the location I frequent the most. So it pains me to say that everything that makes Chipotle great, from the delicious marinated meats to the scrumptious cilantro lime rice, is almost completely absent at this location. I've eaten here less and less often over the past several months because the consistency of the food quality has deteriorated. Not once, not twice, but multiple times the meat has been so poorly seasoned it doesn't taste a thing like Chipotle. Not just the carnitas, which at times are salty beyond being palatable. Not just the chicken, which has been increasingly bland. But even the barbacoa, which lately has tasted along the lines of boiled beef. The rice is a serious letdown, and anyone who eats Chipotle knows this is what makes their burrito special. Poorly seasoned, and yes, frequently undercooked. Sorry, but there's just no mistaking that crunch of uncooked rice. My son had a full two sides if it in his kids meal. That represented half of what was on his plate. We requested new rice, and one of the guys in the back seemed stupefied we'd bothered to complain. The replacement rice from the next batch? Exactly the same as the first. The guacamole with our chips and guac was also smooth and creamy, not the typical chunkier texture. Chipotle needs to take a serious look at this restaurant, and decide if it really represents the quality brand they've established. Or maybe it's a case where they've become too big to care. I've already contacted the restaurant as well as corporate, and there's zero improvement. Sure, if you don't eat Chipotle often you might think it's a decent burrito (key word being "decent"). If you're a regular, you know how bad it's become. All the long time workers at this one appear to be gone now. Maybe the current crew just lacks the ability to keep Chipotle tasting like Chipotle. What a disappointment. I recommend trying a different location. I don't plan on returning here.