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Learn to spot emotional manipulation. Express concern, but set boundaries. Don't give in to demands. Refrain from confronting your parent. Place the responsibility in your parent's hands.
In some instances, a parent may threaten suicide as a way of frightening you or getting you to do something they want. While such threats should still be taken seriously, you also have to take measures to protect yourself emotionally. You can identify emotional manipulation suicide threats by their tell-tale "If, then" form, although sometimes they may be more subtle. Your parent may make a conditional statement, such as: "If you leave me here all alone, I will kill myself." "If I can't come live with you, I may as well just die." "If you really love me and want me to stay alive, you wouldn't treat me like this." Convey to your parent that you are sorry they are in pain and that you want to help, but you will not be controlled or manipulated by threats. Do this in a gentle and non-assuming way, and actually follow up on your words and call for professional assistance. For example, say "Mom, I love you so much and I definitely don't want you to hurt yourself, but you can't come to live with me right now. I will do what I can to make sure you get the help you need." Such a statement shows compassion, but sets boundaries of what you will and won't do. No matter what your parent threatens, avoid trying to prove yourself or give in to the manipulation. Doing so will only jump start a repetitive cycle of your parent tossing around threats whenever things are not going his way. Stand firm in your boundaries. And, remember, even if you were to give in this one time, it wouldn't resolve the underlying emotional problem that prompted them to threaten suicide in the first place. Let your parent know that you are concerned for his safety, thus when they threaten suicide you will take them seriously and call the emergency services so they can receive the proper treatment. Setting this boundary releases you from manipulation while ensuring your parent remains safe. Try your best to prevent any fighting or confrontations. There is no need to tell your parent that you know they are manipulating you. This may only worsen the situation and deter you from reaching a solution. A power struggle may result in your parent attempting a suicide simply to show you he or she was serious. Once you identify emotional manipulation hiding behind these suicidal threats, consult with a therapist for your parent and yourself. With the guidance of a professional, you may be able to express your feelings about being manipulated in a safe environment without fearing your parent will attempt suicide. Remember, no matter how much you love, care for, or pray for your parent, you cannot keep them alive only your parent can do that. It is unfair for your parent to place such a burden (i.e. whether they live or die) in your hands. Clearly state your concerns, but continue to stand behind your boundaries: "Dad, it hurts me to hear you say you want to kill yourself. But, no matter what I say or do, that decision lies with you. I can't stop you from harming yourself, but I do want you to get the appropriate help."