Q: Learning that you have cancer is a very emotional experience. It is common to feel a wide range of emotions. Many people feel shock, anger, fear, and disbelief. This is life-changing news. Allow your self some time to react to the diagnosis. Don't feel like you have to make any decisions right away. Give yourself a few days to process your feelings before you start making any important choices about treatment. Allow yourself to be emotional. Don't become frustrated with yourself if you find yourself suddenly crying or feeling angry. That is normal. Finding out that you have cancer is very scary. Many people deal better with new circumstances when they arm themselves with as much information as possible. It might help you cope if you start learning about your cancer and possible treatments. Seek reliable, up to date information. Science and medicine can change quickly, so make sure you are given the most recent information. Ask your doctor to talk to you thoroughly about your particular type of cancer. Each will have a unique experience with cancer. Get recommendations for reputable websites. For example, Cancer.org and Cancer.gov can provide a lot of information. Your cancer is personal. You shouldn't feel pressured to immediately share the news of your diagnosis with everyone that you know. But you might find some solace in talking to people you are close to. If you have a spouse or partner, you will want to have a serious conversation with that person. Tell them about your diagnosis, and also tell them how you are feeling. Remember that everyone reacts differently. It might take your spouse or best friend a little while to adjust to the news. Remember that shock and denial are normal reactions. Tell your family what you need from them. For example, it is fine to say, "I need a little bit of space to deal with my feelings." It is also okay to say that you need extra support. Try saying, "I am going to need a lot of extra attention and affection for a while. Thanks for understanding." Cancer can change everything. You might have some new physical limitations. You will also likely deal with a lot of emotions. One of the first steps in coping is to recognize that there will probably be changes in your daily routine. For example, you might need to cut back on your hours at work. Many cancer patients deal with fatigue. It is understandable if you can't work as many hours as you used to. Your treatment might require a lot of visits to the doctor's office. Acknowledge that you might have to cut back on some of your other activities to make time for treatment. Cancer can also be a significant financial burden. Talk to your spouse about your insurance plan and how you will pay for any additional costs. Cancer affects each person differently. What works for some may not work for others. Take some time to think about what you need to help you cope most effectively. Many people find that they want to spend more time with loved ones in the early stages of treatment. If that's what you want, ask your family to be aware of that. Some people find that relaxation can help with the intense wave of emotions. If you need to, try to take a short weekend getaway. Other people find it helpful to tap into their faith. If you are a spiritual person, allow yourself extra time to explore that part of your life. Share your feelings honestly. Let others know how you feel and what you need.
A: Take time to process the news. Do your research. Communicate with your loved ones. Acknowledge changes to your daily life. Create an individual coping strategy.

Q: Part of being self-reliant is undertaking certain responsibilities that enable people to experience independence. Doing simple things such as paying your bills on time, cleaning up after yourself if you make a mess, and going to work or school on time can help you feel more responsible and self-reliant. If you do not have a job, you have the responsibility of looking for a job, seeking education that will lead to employment, or starting your own business. Information is power, so having information will give you the power to make your own decisions and assert your independence. Try to be well-rounded and keep up with information about what is going on in your place of business or school, your town, your state, your country, and the world. For example, knowing that a local ordinance determining whether backyard chickens can be kept in your area is coming up for a vote can give you the opportunity to lobby and vote for the ability to keep chickens for fresh eggs. You should have a sense of direction. Something has to drive you. For example, if you are attending college, you should at least have an idea of what you want to do after college and what you are passionate about studying. You should also try to set goals for yourself. Try setting short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals, then be realistic about what you need to do to meet those goals. Seek out a career counselor if you are not sure what you'd like to do with your life. Career self-assessments can be found online. Many websites like this one or this one can offer helpful guidance. Most schools have career centers or guidance counselors available to all enrolled students. These resources can help you shape a vision for your future. Allowing people to make your decisions for you is essentially giving up your independence and self-reliance. Assert yourself and make decisions for yourself based on your goals and dreams. While it is important to be considerate towards other people, it is not necessary to give up your ability to make your own decisions. For example, if you are looking for a place to live with a roommate, be sure you are making decisions based on what is best for you. If you prefer to rent a house and have a bit more independence than an apartment building, stick to your preference and do not allow your roommate to talk you into something that you don't want to do. It can also be common for some people to allow their spouses or significant others to make all the decisions in their relationship, from where to go out to eat to where to live and what kind of car to buy. Changing the dynamic of such a relationship may strain the relationship, but having a part in the decision making at both daily and long-term levels can give you greater control of your life.
A:
Assume responsibility for your life. Be informed. Know where you are going. Make your own decisions.