Write an article based on this "Set up a time where you are both alone and can talk privately. Express yourself clearly and calmly. Use "I" statements. Be firm about your desire to end the relationship."
The break up conversation will likely be intense and difficult so set the scene by choosing a time and place where you can be alone and talk in private. This could be a quiet bench in a park or a private spot in a coffee shop. Choose a location that feels neutral and secluded enough to give you both space to talk and listen. Choose a private place to talk in public rather than having the talk in your home. If the man reacts negatively, this can help keep you safe. Because you are the one instigating the break up, you will need to take charge of the conversation and be clear about your intentions. Try to keep your voice calm and controlled, as getting emotionally may signal to the married man that he can try to comfort you and avoid the break up conversation. Using a calm and clear tone will make it apparent that you are serious about your desire to end the relationship. For example, you may begin by telling the married man you need to discuss your relationship and your unhappiness or discomfort with the situation. "I would like to talk to you about our relationship. I am not happy with our relationship and I think we need to address the status of our relationship." To ensure you are understood clearly by the married man, focus on "I" statements, such as: "I feel that you are not committed to our relationship and I am not comfortable being the other woman," or "I think we should end our affair. I am tired of all the lying and sneaking around." At this point, the married man may try to persuade you to change your mind or use excuses he has used in the past. Resist this by providing reasons why you think it is time to end the relationship and by being clear that you have made your decision. Using "I" statements will show you are being accountable for your decision and are expressing your feelings without blaming or accusing the married man. This will keep the conversation controlled and prevent it from devolving into a shouting match. Once you have stated your intentions to end the relationship, be firm about your decision by rejecting any excuses the married man may use and walking away if he tries to persuade you to change your mind. For example, you may say: "It's no use arguing about this anymore. I'm not going to change my mind and I hope you can respect my decision by not contacting me in any way. I think we both need time apart to accept the break up." You may want to cut communication with him to give him time to accept your decision and to avoid being tempted to renew the relationship. Avoid calling, texting, or emailing him, and do not answer any of his messages if he reaches out to you. Doing this will show him you are serious about your decision to end the relationship and will also help you to move on from the relationship.