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Don't be fake. Be genuinely nice. Stand up for yourself when you need to. Be open to meeting new people. Be interested in other people. Don't act like you're too cool to care. Make small talk with new people. Smile at people.
There's nothing worse than being fake, because then your "friends" won't like you for you. Have the confidence to know that you're an amazing person who has a lot to offer, and you'll be more likely to attract a diverse group of interesting people. Don't tell people what you think they want to hear just to make them like you and avoid bragging just to make yourself sound cool. People will be able to tell if you're just trying to impress them or suck up to them, and you'll be less likely to make friends with them. Instead, slowly open up and let people know about who you are and the things that really matter to you. Also if you are fake chances are that people will notice and they will talk making this even harder for you. If you only become popular by trying to be someone you're not, then where's the fun in it? You don't want to keep up a charade forever, do you? Remember that if you have to completely change who you are to get people to like you, then it probably isn't worth it. Nobody likes a stuck up person. Smile to the people you know in the hallways. Don't act like you're better than them; arrogance is a huge turn off. If someone mentions you, you want them to talk about your good side, not your bad side. However, don't overdo it or they'll just start using you. You may think that you have to act like one of the Mean Girls to be popular, but in reality, this won't get you very far. To be truly nice, you should be polite and have good manners. This means holding doors for people, saying hello to people you know, making room for people walking in the halls, and being friendly even if you're in a bad mood. This doesn't mean you have to put on that false cheery persona you can sometimes see from adults; it just means that you should be kind to people, regardless of how popular you think they are. There's nothing worse than a person who is only nice to popular people or people who he thinks can get him somewhere. If you're mean to the people "below" you and nice to the people "above" you, then people will be on to you pretty soon. If you want to make genuine friends, then you can't let people walk all over you. If you stick to your guns and know when to defend yourself, you'll actually gain respect and will be more likely to make more friends and to gain popularity. If you're nice to people just because you want them to like you, you won't get very far and you won't be respected. If someone is being mean to you, making you feel bad about yourself, and just generally putting you down for no reason, you shouldn't have to take it. Let the person know that his or her actions are unacceptable. You don't have to stoop down to a person's level just because the person is being mean to you. You can tell someone to stop what he or she is doing without calling names or being mean in return. Remember that you're better than that. If you're friendly and are always going up to new people and making small talk with them, you'll be on your way to easily making friends. You should be excited to get to know new people, no matter what crowd they're in or what grade they're in. Of course, you should take it slow and not bombard new people, or people who look busy, but if you find an opportunity to talk to someone new, like if you're at your locker by yourself with another person at his locker standing next to you, then you should take it. When you're talking to new people, you should take things easy, talking about your classes, your hobbies, or what music you like. Ask the person a few easy questions to show that you care. You can talk about the serious stuff later, when you get to know each other better. The key to being truly social and popular is not to talk about yourself all the time or to brag, but to show a real interest in other people. As the saying goes, you should be interested, not interesting. People will like you a lot more if you ask them questions and show that you care about them than if you try to show off. The next time you talk to someone, smile, ask questions about the person's day, make eye contact, and show that you really do care. This doesn't mean you should fake it, but that you should make an effort to make people feel like they are cared for. Here are some things you can do: Ask the person about how his weekend went. Ask people about something new to be shared. Ask about their likes and dislikes. Ask about the person's extra-curricular activities Compliment something the person is wearing Ask about something the person mentioned last time Find a balance between talking about yourself and the other person Sure, high school is a time when many people act like they are literally too cool for school. They may wear too much eyeliner, hunch over in class, show up late, or shrug when their teachers reprimand them. However, this should not be the way you approach high school. Embrace the fact that it's okay to care, and that you should try to go after the things that matter to you instead of worrying that you'll come off like a dork. If you really like English class, get excited about talking about your favorite book; if you love being on the tennis team, tell your friends about your upcoming match. Talking about the things that make you happy will make you a more exciting, engaging person. Give your opinions too. Agreeing with the opposite person and simply nodding to whatever they say will make you look very boring. Try to be a conversation starter and know when to listen and when to answer back to people. Small talk is a skill that many high school students lack, and if you know how to make small talk, you'll up your social game and will be on your way to being more popular. To make small talk, you just have to be able to chat with people about anything at all when you see them in the halls, without getting nervous or running out of things to say. Just relax, stop worrying about saying the wrong thing, and make the other person comfortable as you engage in a quick conversation in the halls or before class starts. Here are some things you can do when you make small talk: Talk about the class you just came from or were going to. Ask the person about his or her weekend. Talk about anything coming up in school, such as the fall dance or football game, and ask if the person is going. Chat about something in your environment, such as a flyer for the pep rally, or a shirt the person is wearing with the name of your favorite college on it. You may think that the last thing you want to do in high school is to every smile at anyone, because smiling is just so uncool, but you should change your attitude if you want to be more social and get on your way to being more popular. Smiling will make you more approachable, will make more people notice you, and will make more people likely to feel welcome in your presence. It's a big part of being friendly. You don't have to smile at absolutely everyone in your school, but if you walk by someone in the halls, take a chance and give that person a little smile, even if you don't know him or her. Let's face it. People in high school tend to be judgmental, and are likely to think that someone is mean or rude for no reason. If you smile more, people will be much more likely to think you're a welcoming, open person.