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Try to be yourself when you fill out your profile. Talk about positive things, like your hobbies and things you like, instead listing your annoyances or boasting about being the best at something. Read everything you write out loud, and make sure it sounds conversational instead of clunky or cocky. Try to set realistic expectations, proceed slowly, and listen to your instincts. If you hit it off with someone via email or text, move on to phone conversations and schedule a date. While you don't want to rush things, it's important to work on building a connection with someone instead of just texting for weeks. Try not to think that someone is "the one" or that you have an instant connection with them, especially before the first date. It's easy to idealize someone before meeting them in person, and you should allow your relationship to develop without preconceived notions. Aside from online dating sites, you might also meet potential dates at the grocery store, a club or class, at a party, or at your gym. The idea of asking someone out might be daunting, but becoming more comfortable in basic social situations can help you overcome shyness. Work on starting conversations when you're out and about, and try to talk to both people you're attracted to and those you're not. To break the ice, you could mention the weather, ask for advice, or pay them a compliment. Try to develop a more confident mindset with positive self-talk. Instead of thinking, "I'm a shy person and can't ask someone out," say to yourself, "I'm shy sometimes, but I can get past it." As you become more comfortable with people in general, challenge yourself to ask someone on a date. Chat with them to break the ice. Then, if the conversation goes well, ask them if they want to meet for a coffee or drink some time. For instance, you might see someone at a coffee shop carrying a book by your favorite author. You might say something like, "Oh, I've always loved Nabokov," or "I didn't know people still read real books!" During your conversation, you might ask questions such as, "Have you read many of his books? Which is your favorite? Who's your favorite author?" If you seem to hit it off, ask to continue to the conversation. Keep it casual, and think of it as asking a friend to hang out with you. Say, "I've got to get to work, but I'm really enjoying this conversation. Would you be interested in continuing it over coffee some time this week?" A good first date is low-pressure, brief, and lets you and your date get a feel for each other. Chatting over coffee or cocktails helps break the ice without the formality or pressure of a dinner date. Set reasonable expectations, and try not to decide if someone is unsuitable just because they're not perfect. However, if you're absolutely sure right off the bat that the person isn't right for you, at least grabbing a coffee or drink isn't a major investment of your time or money. If the first date went well, ask them if they'd like to have dinner, walk around a park, make a picnic, or go to the zoo. Getting to know each other is important at this stage, so go for activities that don't get in the way of talking. Date ideas to avoid include going to the movies and noisy bars. Additionally, it's best to spend time alone at this point, so hold off on doing activities with lots of friends. Instead, try to find a date that balances activities you like and activities your date likes. When you hit it off with someone, it's tempting to fantasize about where it will go. However, instead of writing your relationship's script before it can get off the ground, try to enjoy each moment that naturally unfolds. Not every relationship has to develop into a marriage or long-term partnership. Casually dating someone can be fun, and it helps you get a better sense of what you need in a partner. Have a good time, and try not to pressure yourself with rigid expectations. Remind yourself that love happens when you least expect it, and that there are plenty of aspects of life that resist your control.
Set up an online dating profile. Build your confidence so you can ask people out in person. Stay calm and casual when you ask someone on a date. Start with a brief encounter, like coffee or a drink. Go on second and third dates that allow you to talk. Stay open and optimistic instead of setting high expectations.