Problem: This review is like what?
OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive

Review:18 directors had the same task: tell stories of love set in Paris. Naturally, some of them turned out better than others, but the whole mosaic is pretty charming - besides, wouldn't it be boring if all of them had the same vision of love? Here's how I rank the segments (that might change on a second viewing):

1. "Quartier Latin", by Gerard Depardieu

One of the greatest French actors ever directed my favourite segment, featuring the always stunning Gena Rowlands and Ben Gazzara. Witty and delightful.

2. "Tour Eiffel", by Sylvain Chomet

Cute, visually stunning (thanks to the director of "The Triplets of Belleville") story of a little boy whose parents are mimes;

3. "Tuileries", by Ethan and Joel Coen

The Coen Brothers + Steve Buscemi = Hilarious

4. "Parc Monceau", by Alfonso Cuaron ("Y Tu Mama Tambien", "Children of Men"), feat. Nick Nolte and Ludivine Sagnier (funny);

5. "Place des Fetes", by Oliver Schmitz, feat. Seydou Boro and Aissa Maiga (touching);

6. "14th Arrondissement", Alexander Payne's ("Election", "About Schmidt") wonderful look for the pathetic side of life is present here, feat. the underrated character actress Margo Martindale (Hilary Swank's mother in "Million Dollar Baby") as a lonely, middle-aged American woman on vacation;

7. "Faubourg Saint-Denis", Tom Tykwer's ("Run Lola Run") frantic style works in the story of a young actress (Natalie Portman) and a blind guy (Melchior Beslon) who fall in love;

8. "Pere-Lachaise", by Wes Craven, feat. Emily Mortimer and Rufus Sewell (plus a curious cameo by Alexander Payne as...Oscar Wilde!);

9. "Loin du 16eme", by Walter Salles and Daniela Thomas (simple but moving story from the talented Brazilian directors, feat. Catalina Sandino Moreno);

10. "Quartier des Enfants Rouges", by Olivier Assayas ("Clean"), a sad story feat. the always fantastic Maggie Gyllenhaal;

11. "Le Marais", by Gus Van Sant, feat. Gaspard Ulliel, Elias McConnell and Marianne Faithful (simple, but funny);

12. "Quartier de la Madeleine", by Vincenzo Natali, feat. Elijah Wood and Olga Kurylenko;

13. "Quais de Seine", by Gurinder Chadha;

14. "Place des Victoires", by Nobuhiro Suwa, feat. Juliette Binoche and Willem Dafoe;

15. "Bastille", by Isabel Coixet (fabulous director of the underrated "My Life Without Me"), feat. Miranda Richardson, Sergio Castellitto, Javier Camara and Leonor Watling;

16. "Pigalle", by Richard LaGravenese, feat. Bob Hoskins and Fanny Ardant;

17. "Montmartre", by and with Bruno Podalydes;

18. "Porte de Choisy", by Christopher Doyle, with Barbet Schroeder (mostly known as the director of "Barfly", "Reversal of Fortune" and "Single White Female").

I could classify some segments as brilliant and others as average (or even slightly boring), but not a single of them is plain bad. On the whole, I give "Paris, Je t'Aime" an 8.5/10 and recommend it for what it is: a lovely mosaic about love and other things in between.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?
OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive

Review:-Kidnappings in Mexico are as common as honeys giving me their phone numbers so if you're rich then you'll need a good bodyguard to keep you and your kids safe. A couple hires a washed up bodyguard called Creasy to protect their adorable kid Pita. At first, their relationship is a tad buggy but after a while, Creasy eases up to the girl and the two develop a father/daughter relationship. One day Pita is kidnapped and Creasy is badly injured in the process. When he wakes up he finds out that the girl has been killed due to a ransom negotiations that went wrong and this sets Creasy on a path find the men responsible for her death and make sure they are brought to his brand of justice.

-Keep some Tylenol next to you while watching this movie because you will need to take some after watching it. I really love the story here of going to the extreme to obtain revenge because most movies usually just want revenge but really never go too far where as this movie they show how far a man can go to do what he feels is right. The only problem is the annoying visual style, which will either make you hate the movie or hate Tony Scott. I really feel sorry for the cinematographer because I'm sure he came into this movie thinking he was going to be filming an action movie and probably got all excited but instead he got stuck being the DP for a filmmaker that feels that the whole movie should look like it's been possessed by demons. I wouldn't have mind if the crappy visuals were restricted to a few action scenes but when it's spread through out the whole movie then that's when we have some problems. The same annoying style was recently used on "Domino" and much like with this movie the style did hurt that otherwise great movie.

-Another person I feel sorry on this movie was the soon to be great Harry Gregson Williams who had the impossible task of trying to compose music out of the jagged images. Somehow, Williams wrote some decent music for the movie but I'm sure if the movie had been more stable then the music would have turned out a lot better. The sound is wrongfully used throughout the movie and instead of enhancing the movie experience, it rather makes you feel like you're being punished. The overuse of the subwoofer is irritating as every 5 seconds or so you can hear an ungodly low end sound coming out of it. I don't know why Scott thought the audience needed to be bombarded by the subwoofer but it really takes you away from the movie.

-The acting in the movie is a beast despite the visuals. Little Fanning does yet another great job here and the scene at the end of the movie just breaks my heart. If the end of the movie doesn't make anyone cry then they're dead on the inside. Denzel Washington breaks his rule of not making any action movies with this movie and luckily, for him he gets to play a great character. The whole idea of a man that's lost in life and all of a sudden due to a tragedy finds a purpose in his life is nothing new but Washington brings some heart and emotion to the otherwise flat character. I love how we witness him from being a loner to actually learning to have emotion and after the kidnapping becoming a cold instrument of revenge. Radha Mitchell plays Marc Anthony's wife and she along with Fanning are the two reasons why I can't hate the movie too much. J.Lo's husband comes and goes in the movie but he doesn't really stand out much. Mickey Rourke and Chris Walken all have minimal roles in the movie but they do make an impact.

-One thing that makes me laugh is how the filmmakers try to makeup for the crappy way they portray Mexico by calling it a fine city at the end of the movie. A little too late for that if you ask me. Let's hope that Tony Scott is done with this phase of intentionally trying to ruin his career because a filmmaker as talented as him CAN and must do better than this.
+++++++++
A:
positive