Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: I came here for a friends surprise birthday party. I arrived around 9 pm so it was pretty empty in the place. I was surprised at the size and amount of chairs they have to seat people. Very nice, dark layout. It could deem as a great place to chill and hang out with friends after a long day. However, the service here is a bit lacking. There were a lot of waitresses that night and they were huddling around the bar anticipating whether or not it'd be a busy night as I heard through their conversations. It was really dead and it was my first time there so I had no idea how it was on a busy night. I was really hungry while waiting for more people to arrive so I ordered a beef wrap and some hummus. Both weren't bad at all. I thought it was weird that the server took my card and opened up a tab for me as I was intentionally planning on not drinking that night, but I didn't say anything about it to her anyway. More people started arriving about an hour later and the lounge gradually started filling up as well. We had a whole row of seats and couches for our party, but as more people started showing up the servers started to get anxious as we were flowing out of the specific area they had for us. There were also several hookahs out. It seemed as if they didn't want all that business for them or couldn't handle that many people. They ended up making all of us get up and relocate into this bland side room which was away from all the music so it was a really weird atmosphere. It wasn't as comfortable as the lounge seating they had for typical guests, but they said we were taking up too much room out there apparently. We did not get much service in this room either. I understand it turned into a pretty busy night, but I think they could've used another waitress or two to staff our large party. When I finally received my tab at the end of the night, I noticed they double charged me on my bill. The waitress seemed a little upset about this even though it wasn't my fault claiming that someone else had charged me extra, not her, but she refunded me in cash so it was okay. The whole ordeal and events of the night made me feel like I never wanted to come back again. At least the people I was with made the night a little more enjoyable.

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: Flooring Department - Grant is awesome. I am so thrilled with the personal service I received from Grant. I highly recommend you visit Grant if you need any flooring.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: First and foremost, this newest franchise of an AZ watering hole is conveniently located next to a Hooter's with cheaper drinks and faster serving times. Well, there is a Chipotle Grill and a Lamp's Plus in between, but the two cleavage and thunder thigh establishments are within walking distance. The Grill seemed empty and only had one more parking space. The Lamp Plus had plenty of parking spaces but threatened to tow your car if you dared to park in one of their spots and go drink instead of shop for lamp shades. I went to this fine pub & eatery tonight with many co-workers (20+, arriving at various times after work). We were forced into a concentration camp, er, one table but we were not gassed because they seemed to only serve fried foods without beans. I personally did not go to eat dinner, but rather to oogle, I mean, Google the names of any waitresses I happened to admire. Since I was with so many female co-workers, I was forced to order an appetizer by their silent will alone. I told them that I was going to write a review for this eatery so I picked the Five Quid Squid, which is the Tilted Kilt's clever name for Calamari. I thought... so many places screw up Calamari; this will be a good litmus test. I was amazed. The body rings of the Calamari were supple, tender and light to the taste. The tentacles were like rubber bands. I think they must have cooked them in the same vat of grease, at the same temperature, for the same time period. Oh well, I live for the glass half full. I've read a few of the reviews for the other Tilted Kilt franchises and admired the predilection of the reviewing authors for describing young, supple, tender waitresses. To comment further, some of the waitresses here had the outfit, but not the body to pull down a decent tip. Most of them though, were hot enough to tilt my kilt at a 45 degree angle. I have to add, though, that you should consult your physician if your kilt tilts for more than four continuous hours.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: Every time you move to a new city and ask about the places to go for good food, there are a few names everyone rattles off. Salt is one of those in Pittsburgh. If this were a quasi-French restaurant I might understand the price point, but no such pomp and circumstance. The decor I think is great for a casual dinner, and a fancier date that you don't want to feel too stuffy. I don't care that you have your own place setting and fancy silverware-- it's at a communal table (unless you reserve upstairs). The service was no different than anything you'd expect at Elbow Room, it's fine. My barometer for any restaurant is a simple protein. It says a lot about how they pick ingredients, their philosophy about bringing flavor out vs. marinating, timing in the kitchen. So I got a hangar steak. Why? No idea. This is a cut closely resembling flank, the stuff people use in fajitas and beef stir fry (read: marinade the shit out of it to make it taste good). The dish came out looking like an art piece, but the meat was so thin it didn't retain any heat and it felt like eating the steak off the top of a fancy salad... without the salad. To their credit, it was cooked well and I could see the idea behind it, just didn't taste good because the cut itself was lacking. Scallops were the same story. Good ingredients, great plating, light fluffy flavors and not too buttery. We had two drinks a piece. I don't tend to get fancy cocktails but two Hendricks tonics and two Rieslings brought the total to $130 with tip. Humbly two stars from me because feeling "fine" after leaving a place like that is disappointing. Went straight to Wendy's afterwards and got some chicken nuggets.