IN: some of her X - girlfriends were shrinks and they would show up at the house and psychoanalyze me . one of her butch dyke friends said I was " Emotionally Retarded " . not really I said .
How must I feel about her ex girl friend who told me I was " emotionally retarded ? "

OUT: I must feel hostile towards her .

IN: That has RARELY ever happened to me . I was extremely tired . I ' m glad I did n't go out with those duds & spend my money & end even more exhausted . So ... I need to get myself pulled together & do something productive today .
What may be the reason they need to do something productive ?

OUT: They have spent the past few days doing nothing .

IN: finding myself in the oddest of situations has led me tocrave self - destruction and self - inflicted problems . only knowing myself when i am down has turned me intoa miserable prick who craves disaster . i truly am myown worst critic , and i am aware of the damage i am imposing on those around me . i am not aware of whyi refuse to change , i am fully conscious my intake hascaused me to become anything but immune to illness , i have no doubt that i search for pain wherever i go .
Why would this person be craving unhappy events in their life .

OUT:
The narrator is experiencing self - loathing traits .