Q: Knowing your love languages and values is essential to beginning communication with each other about the romance in your relationship. Determining your love languages involves finding the way you and your partner show and prefer to receive love. In addition to learning your love languages, consider that, over time, your values may have changed. Determine where your values and your partner's values stand, as well as how in sync they are now. Read Dr. Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" to learn about love languages and to help determine which ones you and your partner identify with. The five languages of love are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The idea is that your spouse shows love in one of these ways and will feel most loved if you show him love in this same way. Notice, for instance, if your partner is always complimenting you. If he is, this may mean his main love language is words of affirmation. This doesn't mean you can't express love in other ways don't neglect physical touch or the other "languages" but know that he will usually feel the most loved when you give him compliments instead of, say, the gift of a new golf club. Your love language may be different from your partner's that's okay. If your spouse shows love by giving compliments, but you need quality time to feel loved, then he should be willing to make an effort to spend more time with you. Conversation is a romantic activity that you can share with your partner every day. Take the time to sit down and talk about what happened during the day. Share your feelings about the events and check in with each other about how you are doing. When your partner shares her day with you, truly pay attention and participate in the conversation. Listen actively by trying the following:] Remove all distractions that you can while having a conversation with your partner. Turn off the TV and put down your cell phone. Every once in a while restate or summarize what your partner is telling you. This helps you make sure you are hearing her correctly and shows her that you are making an effort to pay attention. Avoid using "Why" questions, quick reassurances such as "Don't worry about it," or advising by stating "You should..." Intimacy and romance are about feeling connected to each other. If you feel that the romance has slipped away from your relationship, check to see how connected you feel to your partner. There may be some work you can do to feel more connected to each other. Try the following tips to be more connected to each other. Say "Thank you" to your partner for something each day. Try to be more playful with each other. Sneak hugs with each other. Show more compassion for your partner. Having a real conversation with your partner about the romance in your relationship can help you reconnect. Talking it out and being honest allows you both to discover where the other person is coming from instead of guessing or assuming. Make sure you are getting a chance to say how you feel and your partner is also getting time to share as well. Take turns telling each other what you need from the other person and the relationship. Ask your partner what he is dissatisfied with and what he is satisfied with in your relationships as far as romance is concerned. Talk about how you each are planning to change to have the future you want. Instead of being critical about your partner, try to focus on what can be changed and what you can work on together. Opening up the lines of communication is the first step to addressing any issues that may be getting in the way of your romance. Over longer relationships, rough patches or even resentments are bound to happen. Take the time now to address and work on these issues. Have a real conversation with your partner about what issues you are struggling with together. Together develop a plan to change the current circumstances that are causing the issues. Seek professional help, if necessary. If you and your partner are having difficulty communicating or connecting, see a psychologist or a marriage counselor to help you get started.
A: Determine your love languages and values. Listen actively. Improve your connection. Be honest. Resolve conflicts.

Q: A "bucket list" can help you figure out which direction your heart wants to go in. Try to set goals that you are likely to be able to accomplish (not "be the first human on Mars"). This list can be a great source of inspiration when you are searching for meaningful events to work toward in your life. If it's truly from the heart, it will reflect some of your deepest interests and aspirations. The first step to getting in touch with your heart in a deeper way is to give your heart the time and space to speak up. It's important to sit still without distractions for your heart to be able to let itself be heard. You may want to create an intentional place where you can go to just sit. If you have an extra room in your house, you can light some candles and create a comfortable environment for this task. Once you've set the right conditions, you can begin to do the work of being mindfully open to your heart. You may want to ask yourself a question, such as "what am I feeling under the surface right now?" Wait a while after you ask the question to see if a response bubbles up from your heart. This kind of practice will help your heart, and your inner desire, express itself. You can also use a technique called Focusing, which is great for getting in touch with your body. Here's how to do Focusing: Once you've cleared the space and asked what's going on inside you, pay attention to what your body answers with. Don't try to explore it, just notice it from a distance. For instance, you may feel a tightness in your chest when you ask what's going on underneath the surface. Notice it from a distance. Put a handle on the sensation. This is usually in the form of a word or short phrase. For instance, you can say "tightness" or "chest pressure" or "tension." Keep trying words out until it seems to fit the sensation. Go back and forth between the sensation and the word that describes it. Check and see how they interact. See if the body sensation changes a little bit when you have an accurate name for it. Ask yourself what's causing this sensation. What is it about your life right now that's causing you to feel tight in your chest? Don't grasp for an answer, just let the response bubble up. This may not happen the first time. Focusing can take practice, but this is a great series of steps to help you open yourself to your heart and everything that's going on inside you. A hectic life can really dampen your ability to follow your heart. Take time out of your day, every day, for yourself. Don't let anything else impose on this time. What you do with it is up to you, but here are a few suggestions: Meditate. There are a number of mental and physical health benefits to meditating, such as lower blood pressure and lower stress. Try sitting upright for at least 10 minutes in a quiet place. Focus on one thing, such as the sensation of air going in and out of your nostrils, or an object like a pencil. When your attention leaves the object, gently remind yourself to return. Take a long bath. Relaxing in water has similar effects to other relaxation techniques. It's a great way to wind down. You can use this time to reflect on your life, or just enjoy the silence and sensation of a warm bath. Have a coffee date with a friend. You may not get to spend as much time catching up with friends as you would like. Use this "you time" to invite a cherished friend to have lunch or coffee with you. Society places a big emphasis on the brain. It says that you should "think before you act" and make good, rational decisions. However, this doesn't leave much room for your intuition or your heart. These things can make life enjoyable rather than routine and efficient. Finding activities that touch your heart can help keep the pathway open, rather than only engaging the world with your brain. For instance, if you like to read, make sure to allow time for reading in your schedule. Ask your friends for recommendations of good books. A poetry collection can be especially evocative. If you're more of a movie buff, check out some highly rated films that will tug on your heart-strings. Spending time in nature is another good option; it can help you feel more alive and in touch with yourself.
A:
Make a list of things you want to accomplish. Create an open space. Listen to your heart. Set aside time each day. Find interests that activate your heart.