Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: I just have to throw my two cents in. Relax, it's a comedy. Yes for the most part the characters are broadly written and acted. I can't think of many comedies where they aren't. This isn't a new release, it's out on video and airs on cable almost every week. Would I see it in a theater? Sure, I did, when it first came out. It's funny...that should be enough.

Even if I didn't like it at all I'd still watch it on cable for Michael Keaton. He's an underrated and under-appreciated actor. I can't think of another who is so capable in every genre. Nor can I think of one who's as successful. A comedic actor who's also an action star(short lived but still), who's also a romantic lead, who's also a dramatic actor; a villain and a hero. I can't think of any, at least not in Hollywood. Certainly none who have been successful at all those genres. I mean there's Tom Cruise but to me he's better at being Tom Cruise than becoming a character. However this isn't about Michael Keaton vs. Tom Cruise so I'll move on.

Gung Ho is worth renting, heck it's worth buying since you can probably find it for $10.00 or less at stores like Wal-Mart. It's worth watching on cable(if you have cable or satellite). It's one of those fun to watch movies. You can put your brain on pause, and just relax, and chuckle away.

To ask for more, in my honest opinion, is asking too much.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: I've read many negative reviews of this movie and finally got a chance to see it on DVD. To be honest I really don't know what the problem with it is.

It's a decent murder mystery thriller, shown from various points of view, from an eccentric cast of often drugged out potential killers/suspects, including the late porn king, John Holmes. Please read the plot synopsis for the exact details of the movie's plot - I wish to contribute more to a review than a synopsis.

Many reviewers went so far to give this movie their lowest rating due to violence but I really don't see it. MANY modern movies were worse - Saving Private Ryan was ultimately more violent than this movie, which often relies on implied blood stains than actual brutal slayings (the murders depicted in this film were done with lead pipes, afterall).

I was enthralled with both halves of the movie - the first showing John Holmes as a hopeless cash hungry drug addict, and the second half showing his side as a minor conspirator in a senseless bloodbath. The movie has excellent acting, even though Dylan McDemorant looks more than a bit out of place in his biker-esque personia and goatee'ed bad boy personality.

The soundtrack was also awesome - a fantastic mix of 70's B-side rock and obscure pop, spread out over a couple of hours in all the right places ala Boogie Nights.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: Well! What can one say? Firstly, this adaptation is far too long at 4 hours, for the complexity (or lack of such) of the plot. The actors try really hard to make something of this film but there is too little content for the time available. Swayzee is really NOT a Quatermain character at all. After seeing Sean Connery's interpretation of the great man in "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", Swayzee really does not make the grade. This chap with the winchester repeating rifle has none of the strength, stature, subtlety, or humour needed for the part, and is upstaged by everyone including the witch doctor, who incidentally seems from my point of view to be more convincing as an actor than the rest of the cast. Some of the vistas are pleasing but there are silly mistakes in the cinematography. For example. When the happy team arrive at the water hole in the middle of the desert, their tracks are visible down to the oasis, just waiting for them to walk in them. Climbing out of the mine leads to an exit (on the next shot) nothing like the exit seen from the passage they have climbed through, et cetera. I was waiting for Doug McClure to appear at any moment. In some ways I wish he had.

The leader of the Russians pursuing Quatermain is a shoddily created stereotypical character who just shoots at everything.

Swayzee does quite well as the sad father, returned to London, who is unable to obtain the custody of his son. Swayzee should stick to that sort of thing. He is not able to carry the part of a courageous gentleman with a stout heart, experience of life, and sense of fair play.

4 out of 10. Barely

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
I would love to have that two hours of my life back. It seemed to be several clips from Steve's Animal Planet series that was spliced into a loosely constructed script. Don't Go, If you must see it, wait for the video ...