You are given a review about a place. You need to provide a rating from "1 star" to "5 stars" for this place.

Q: Got Food Poisoning STAY AWAY!!!

A: 1 star
****
Q: Five stars for the friendly morning staff woman who makes the best mocha in town. Seriously.

One star for the other employees who seem to hate their job and serve your bagel with a side of resentment. I asked for a schmear, not a sneer, people.

A: 3 stars
****
Q: This place is a joke if they think they compare to any sort of respectable wine bar. If this comment offends you, feel free to pull down your pants and start crying now.

After looking over what I would consider the 'Cliffs Notes' version of a wine list (BS on calling yourself a wine cellar), we chose a bottle of the ONEHOPE Red Cab. I was happy to learn that half the proceeds went to the cure for Autism until i realized that the waitstaff could have used the money, as they all had some special needs of their own.

In an attempt to move past the mediocre start to the evening we moved on to the food menu.

The Tomato/Basil/Mozzarella bruschetta had no basil (wtf?), the Orzo and Shrimp starter lacked the red onion it so desperately needed to be a success and who in their right mind serves their pizza on oversized crackers? Just because you throw something 'fancy' on the menu like duck confit doesn't mean you have a license to lack on quality.

Thankfully the music became the highlight of the evening. If it weren't for the 2-man, live band playing a lively rendition of MyGirl in the corner, I don't know if we would have survived the evening ;)

A:
1 star
****