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Make a list. Practice in advance. Be honest and straightforward. Keep an even, gentle tone. Use "I" statements. Use specific examples. Give him a chance to respond. Request that he make amends.
List out the things you want to talk about. List the ways you were hurt, as well as specific examples. When you're in the heat of an argument or otherwise running on adrenaline from the anxiety of the discussion, it can be difficult to remember everything or get sidetracked or distracted. A list will help. It can also be helpful to tell him what you need or want to move forward. Rehearse what you are going to say in advance. You may write it down and read it aloud in front of a mirror. Or, you might ask the friend who gave you feedback to engage in a practice dialogue with you. When you confront the person, do so in a direct and honest manner. Don't try to sugarcoat it or diminish the truth of how he made you feel. Also, there's no need to beat around the bushget straight to the heart of the matter. For example, you might say, "I was really hurt when you forgot my birthday last week. It made me feel unimportant to you." You don't want to come across as sounding over-emotional or dramatic. Sounding like that makes it harder to take anyone seriously. Instead, keep calm and the discussion will go much easier. To have an effective dialogue with the other person, you want to prevent them from becoming defensive. You can try to do this by tailoring your words so that allow you to share what you're feeling, without admonishing the other person. "I" statements can help you do that. "I" statement allow you to take ownership for your feelings: "I was really hurt when you forgot my birthday last week." "You" statements, on the other hand, increase the odds of the other person feeling attacked: "You don't care about me! You forgot my birthday!" Don't make broad generalizations about things he does that hurt you. This is difficult for people to understand and sympathize with, especially when they're hurt. Instead, use specific examples. For example, avoid statements like "You always leave me to deal with the hard problems" and instead say "I was upset when you left me to deal with Bob this morning. You did that last week, too." Once you've expressed how you feel about the situation, allow him the opportunity to reply. Let him explain his point-of-view fully, even if you don't agree. Practice active listening, trying to get a full understanding of what the other person is saying. What he says at this point will shed a lot of insight on how you may want to move forward. For instance, he might apologize and ask how he can improve his behavior in the future. On the other hand, he might defend himself, citing a busy schedule or stress as the reason he forgot your birthday. If you would like to continue the relationship, you might express a desire for change. Tell the person, in as much detail as you can, how he can resolve the situation and what you need from them moving forward. For instance, you might say, "Special occasions are meaningful to me, and I'd like you to respect that. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you recorded birthdays and anniversaries in your calendar, so that you don't forget them." This works better than just complaining about your feelings. Have examples of what you want him to do instead and how he can go about doing it.