IN: Review: This is possibly the worst fencing, sword-fighting, movie ever made. That is not just because the so called sports fencing is poor but because the plot, characters are so weak that they've got to throw in a semi nude sex scene and, later, supposed group dancing around a fencing scene in the fencing club trying, I suppose to maintain audience interest. What a waste of F. Murray Abraham's talents. You're better served with overblown swashbuckling movies like Zorro, Scaramouche, anything that has Basil Rathbone as the villain. As a fencer myself I recognize the near impossibility of capturing fencing as a sport on film, but if it ever happens it's got to have fresher, better drawn characters and a plot with more depth.
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: And here's yet another piece of evidence to claim that we should all worship the Italian giallo and acknowledge it to be the absolute most unique sub genre in horror. Emilio Miraglia's "The Red Queen Kills Seven Times" is a totally mesmerizing wholesome of original plotting, stylish production values, enchanting music, great acting talents and inventively gory murder sequences. It's a fabulous giallo (released in the golden year 1972) that belongs in the top-five of every fan of Italian cinema. The storyline doesn't just introduce your average black-gloved & sexually frustrated killer, but blends good old-fashioned revenge motives with the macabre myth of the murderous "Red Queen". At young age, their grandfather tells the constantly fighting siblings Kitty and Evelyn about an uncanny lady who, once every 100 years on April 6th, kills seven people of which her sister is the inevitable last victim. Fourteen years later, Kitty has become the successful choreographer of a prominent modeling agency (even sharing her bed with the general manager) when suddenly the killing spree begins. Sister Evelyn would be the obvious culprit, but she moved to the States recently... Or has she? Complex yet compelling and involving red herrings are thrown at you every couple of minutes and the Red Queen character is definitely the most fascinating killer in giallo-history. Her face can never be seen, but she wears a blood red cloak and produces the most ghastly laugh whenever she made a new victim. She's not exactly gentle either, as her victims are barbarically stabbed with a dagger, dragged behind cars and even impaled on fences! That latter one is truly one of the greatest (= most gruesome) acts of violence I've ever seen! What more could you possibly request? Some classy and tasteful nudity, perhaps? The gorgeous female actresses got this more than covered, among them Barbara Bouchet and a young Sybil Danning. Emilio Miraglia isn't the most famous giallo-director, as he only made this one and the equally recommended "The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave", but his influence and importance should NOT be forgotten.
What is this review like?
OUT: positive

IN: Review: I read John Everingham's story years ago in Reader's Digest, and I remember thinking what a great movie it would make. And it probably would have been had Michael Landon never got his hands on it. As far as I'm concerned, Landon was one of the worst actors on earth, and his artistic license went way over the top, similar to his massacre of the "Little House" book series is proof. The acting, for lack of a better word, is atrocious, the screenplay sloppy, and there are more close-ups of Landon's puss than should be allowed.

This movie reflects Everingham's story as much as "Little House On The Prairie" reflects the books is was "based" on. It's just another vehicle to show off Landons horrendous hair.
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are the most famous comedy duo in history, and deservedly so, so I am happy to see any of their films. Professor Noodle (Lucien Littlefield) is nearing the completion of his rejuvenation formula, with the ability to reverse ageing, after twenty years. Ollie and Stan are the chimney sweeps that arrive to do their job, and very quickly Ollie wants to get away from Stan making mistakes. Ollie goes to the roof to help with the other end of the brush at the top of the chimney, but Stan in the living room ends up pushing the him back in the attic. After breaking an extension, Stan gets a replacement, a loaded gun, from off the wall, and of course it fires the brush off. Stan goes up to have a look, and Ollie, standing on the attic door of the roof, falls into the greenhouse. Stan asks if he was hurt, and Ollie only answers with "I have nothing to say." Ollie gets back on the roof, and he and Stan end up in a tug and pull squabble which ends up in Ollie falling down and destroying the chimney. Ollie, hatless, in the fireplace is hit on the head by many bricks coming down, and the butler Jessup (Sam Adams) is covered in chimney ash smoke, oh, and Ollie still has nothing to say to Stan. The boys decide to clean up the mess, and when Stan tears the carpet with the shovel, Ollie asks "Can't you do anything right", and Stan replies "I have nothing to say", getting the shovel bashed on his head. As Ollie holds a bag for Stan to shovel in the ashes, they get distracted by a painting on the wall, and the ashes end up down Ollie's trousers, so Stan gets another shovel bashed on the head. Professor Noodle finishes his formula, and does a final test on a duck, with a drop in a tank of water, changing it into a duckling. He also shows the boys his success, turning the duckling into an egg, and he next proposes to use a human subject, i.e. his butler. While he's gone, the boys decide to test the formula for themselves, but Ollie ends up being knocked by Stan into the water tank with all the formula. In the end, what was once Ollie comes out, an ape, and when Stan asks him to speak, all Ollie ape says is "I have nothing to say", and Stan whimpers. Filled with wonderful slapstick and all classic comedy you could want from a black and white film, it is an enjoyable film. Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were number 7 on The Comedians' Comedian. Very good!
What is this review like?
OUT:
positive