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Whether you and your husband live together but rarely see each other, or you have a long distance marriage, it's important to talk about how you plan to make this arrangement work for you. Good communication is key to keeping your romance alive, even when you are physically apart. The conversation should be ongoing. Check in regularly with your husband to make sure the arrangement is still working for both of you. Don't be afraid to share your feelings if you feel that something needs to change. Consider making a list of the benefits of the separation. When things get hard or you start arguing about how little you see each other, you can consult the list to help remind you about why you chose the arrangement in the first place. Your husband will miss you tons if he's always finding little reminders of you while you are apart. Before your next separation, consider hiding little treasures for him to discover. They can be anything from notes to photos of the two of you or other tokens of your affection. If your husband is going away, you can leave him love notes in his suitcase or in the pockets of his clothing. Try to put them in places where he will discover them at different times. If you are leaving home, hide things around the house for him to find. They can be notes or small mementos of your affection, like his favorite chocolate. Phone conversations tend to be centered around recounting daily activities. While this is fine, it's not the kind of conversation that will make your husband miss you. Instead, try to think of the kinds of conversations you have in person, and recreate these over the phone. Share something personal about yourself during each phone call. For example, you might tell your husband about something interesting you noticed today or about an activity you would like to try. You can also remind your husband of all of the things you love about him. For example, you might tell him that he's an excellent cuddler or that you love his laugh. While you may need to talk about household things, like bills or maintenance, be sure that they do no dominate the conversation. Balance them out by also talking about enjoyable topics. For example, you could tell your husband about a great movie that you saw, or you could discuss plans for a trip you plan to take together. Instead of just talking on the phone and telling each other about your days, find ways to participate in activities together. This will help remind your husband of how enjoyable it is to be with you, even if you won't get the opportunity to see each other in person for a long time. For example, you could play an online game together, watch the same movie while talking to each other, or even bring each other to important events via video conference. If you get the chance to see your husband periodically, make that time count. You may choose to do activities together or just relax together, but no matter what you do, make sure that you both enjoy the time you have together. It's easy to get into a rut when it comes to long-distance communication. For example, if you write your husband a letter every week or speak to him on the phone every evening, it can easily become routine. Keep your husband on his toes and looking forward to your next communication by doing something a little different every once in a while. For example, you might send your husband videos or silly cards at times. Alternatively, you might recite a poem that you wrote for him the next time you speak on the phone. Try to be a little unpredictable! When you talk to your husband, try not to say anything that will make him feel bad about being apart. You want to make him miss you, and complaining about the burden he has left you with by leaving will do just the opposite. Instead of complaining, try offering him some sweet compliments. For example, you might let him know that something he fixed before he left is working very well. This will make him realize how much you appreciate him, which will intensify his feelings for you. If you are the one who is away from home, you could let him know that a joke he told you made you smile all day. If you want your husband to miss you while you are apart, it is vital that the time you spend together is as enjoyable as possible. Let him know that you value your time together, and he will too. Avoid bombarding him with a to-do list if he is coming home from a long trip. Instead, take a few days to spend quality time together doing things you both enjoy. If your husband is coming home from a military deployment, consider throwing him a welcome home party or meeting him at the airport with a welcome home banner.
Talk openly about the arrangement. Leave him sweet surprises. Make your phone calls more personal. Do things together. Mix it up. Avoid complaining about the separation. Make your reunions happy.