Article: Some securities get ingrained in us from an early age. Some children are harshly criticized or ignored and have a tendency to develop low self esteem. Other people develop insecurity when they fail for the first time at something, or are in a new environment. Know how your insecurities develop, and what makes them worse, to handle them better. There are ways to change your perspective on yourself so that you can begin to feel good about yourself. However, it is a long process. The brain can grow and change long after our bodies reach their permanent size, a phenomenon called brain plasticity. This allows you to learn or to change your thinking patterns at any age. By changing your thoughts, you can ultimately change your behavior. You can do CBT by yourself or with a therapist. Keep in mind that, if you find any of the steps difficult, you should see a therapist who is knowledgeable about CBT to help you. The first step in CBT is to identify your thought patterns. Many people who have negative thoughts about themselves believe they are not worth very much, and they will also believe that there is little they can do to change the situation. You need to begin to change the way you think about yourself by first acknowledging how you feel. Being self aware can be difficult at first. Well meaning friends wishing to help you may just tell you to "get over it" and recognize your strengths. There's more to it than merely making the decision to change. You should start a journal of all the thoughts you have a day, both positive and negative. Write down the situations that surrounded the event, what your feelings were, and how you handled the situation. This will help you examine your thought patterns over time so you can start changing the negative thinking. Be honest with yourself in the journal. You need to know all your different thoughts to get a full picture. The more honest you are, the more you can change your behavior. Be consistent. Write about everything that you think is important; or, everything that happened at work; or, everything that you worry will happen to your spouse when you're gone travelling. Once you journal for a while, you should look back over what you've written. This way, you can achieve more objectivity in relation to your thoughts so you can accept them and come to terms with yourself. Try to remember how you felt when you wrote them, and instead of feeling ashamed or bad about your negative thoughts, accept them. Everyone has them and if you first accept them, you can start to change them. By allowing yourself to feel your negative thoughts, you can own them and begin to make changes. Once you recognize the thought pattern that is causing you to have low self esteem, you can begin to change the way you think. Once you journal all of your thoughts and feelings for a few weeks and accept your feelings as being valid, you need to examine your thoughts and start changing the way you think. Look over your journal, looking for common thought patterns. Find a common thread through some of your thoughts or choose a particularly harsh thought. Take that negative thought and try turn it around to something positive. For example, you were feeling bad because you got behind on an assignment at work. Instead of focusing on your short comings, think about all the times you achieved something great at work or pulled off a hard project. Think to yourself, "I can turn this around because I have a history of doing great work. I just need to focus and I will do amazing, just like on my other work." You want to take things that you feel and make them into positive situations. Know it is okay to feel them, but acknowledge that there are more productive ways of seeing yourself that will help you feel better about yourself. Forgive yourself for past mistakes or events. There is no way to change the past, and you have to give yourself the opportunity to improve. Do you know the saying, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"? Treat yourself according to who you want to be, not who you were. It will be easier to become that person. Once you look over your activities, you may see that you miss out on certain situations because of your low self esteem. If you notice a pattern of behavior, such as refusing to go into certain social situations because of anxiety and negativity, you should start trying to move past these behaviors. Once you change the thought processes around these events, you can push yourself to enter into them without the worry that there will be negative consequences. For example, you often say no to going out with coworkers because you think they will find you boring and you will just make a fool of yourself. Instead of thinking this way, think about the positive things about yourself and what might come out of it. You have other friends who like you and enjoy your company, so you are interesting. You may also make some new friends and become closer to those at work. If you think of the possibilities of a situation instead of the horrible things that might happen, you might be able to think about yourself in a positive light as well. This type of thinking can take time to change. Learning new ways to think about yourself takes practice, but don't be afraid to think positively about yourself. It may seem difficult at first, but if you keep acknowledging your feelings and recognizing your negative behavior, you can make small moves to change it. After a while, you will find yourself doing it more and more to the point where you have more positive thoughts in your day than negative. If you find yourself having a hard time with this process, you may need to see a therapist. CBT is aided by having a trained professional who knows the methods and might be able to see things about yourself that you may not. In CBT sessions, the therapist works in partnership with you as you work towards your goals.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Understand where the insecurity comes from. Learn about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Identify your thought patterns. Start a journal. Accept your thoughts as valid. Change your thoughts. Learn coping skills. Practice.