Write an article based on this "Question your motives. Understand the consequences of sexual harassment. Empathize. Discipline yourself. Make amends."
What are you gaining in your sexually harassing behaviors? Better understanding why you feel sexual harassment is necessary will help you find a solution for your behavior and refocus your energy in a more productive way. Examine your reasons for sexually harassing women. Do you want to look good in front of your buddies? Perhaps you need new friends, or give your old friends a heads-up about why sexual harassment is wrong. Does it make you feel strong, powerful, in control? Your insecurity is no excuse for sexual harassment. Talk to a therapist if you struggle with the need to feel "manly" or "tough." Do you feel entitled to touch or talk about a woman's body without her permission? This is a symptom of male privilege, the ability of men to do and say things that women cannot because society judges people of different genders with different yardsticks. Consider how you would feel if someone touched and tried to coerce you into something you did not want to do. Whatever your reason, ask why you think it's acceptable and find a way to undermine the assumptions upon which you've justified sexual harassment. There are consequences for you and consequences for her. There can be emotional, physical, or legal repercussions for sexual harassment depending on the severity and specific circumstances of the situation. Some of these consequences include: You may later feel embarrassed when you realize how rude you've been. In addition to negative feelings, you may open yourself up to legal action, especially in the case of ongoing sexual harassment of one individual. Women who experience sexual harassment feel angry, trapped, and frustrated. Victims of sexual harassment will feel less safe and often have to adjust their travel routes and schedules in order to avoid certain times of the day (especially late at night) or certain places (near bars, colleges, and restaurants) where sexual harassment is a frequent occurrence. Cultural acceptance of sexual harassment leads to rape, domestic violence, and other forms of female disempowerment which women around the world have to confront daily. Imagine you are one of the one in four women who experience sexual harassment in the street before the age of 12 (or one of the one in two women harassed on the street by age 17). How would you feel? Victims of sexual harassment often describe the experience as one in which they feel powerless, afraid, angry, and alone. Stop believing the lie that women enjoy harassment. Just because she smiles doesn't mean she likes it; in fact, a smile is most likely a fear response in the hopes that the situation won't escalate into threats, violence, stalking, rape, or murder. Sexual harassment threatens a woman's sense of safety, and it is never okay. Use the following guiding questions to think carefully about life as a woman under the constant threat of sexual harassment: Would you like to worry about what you are wearing before going out because you might be "asking for it?" What would it feel like to live according to a "rape schedule" leaving bars and other venues early to ensure you are not alone in the parking lot after dark? Do you think your sister, mother, or female friends would appreciate catcalls, staring, or unwanted groping? Would you? Changing habits is hard. Motivate yourself to stop the harassment. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and lightly snap it against your wrist when you feel the urge to harass. Have a stress ball in your pocket to distract yourself when you're feeling the urge to touch someone inappropriately. Conversely, when you go for a week without making a sexual comment or joke which might make women feel awkward or uncomfortable, give yourself a pat on the back and a little reward. As time goes on and you become more sensitive to the reality of sexual harassment, elongate the period of time you wait to reward yourself for speaking and acting free of sexual harassment. Give a detailed verbal apology to any woman you realize you were harassing. Explain that you now realize the error of your ways, and have learned that women deserve respect. A display of penitence will make the women you harassed feel somewhat better, and after a big apology, you will think twice about making lewd comments, gestures, or touches.