Summarize the following:
Make the person repeat what they said to you. This way, they must have the courage to say it again when they have your full attention. Also, you have the opportunity to verify what you heard before reacting. Once they repeat themselves, you might simply use silence to show your disapproval or you might ask questions like, "Do you really believe that?" In some situations, particularly if the person is close to you or if they may be repeating what they've heard elsewhere, it can help to educate them. If they are willing to listen, let them know why their comment was hurtful, racist, and inappropriate. You might say, "I'm assuming you spoke out of ignorance on this subject, so I'll correct you. It is very hurtful to hear you make comments about my skin color or racial group. Even if what you said is true for one person, it's not true for us all. I'm sure you can think of many differences among people in your own racial group Please don't say that again." People of a particular ethnicity will sometimes refer to each other with slang terms that aren't acceptable for people of another ethnicity to use. Explain to the person calling you that it's okay to use that name outside of the particular ethnic group and with someone you're not close to. Say, "Maybe you've heard me use that name with my friends, but it means something different when you're saying it to me in this situation." Most people who make racist comments aren't accustomed to people turning the tables on them. Make a point to show them what it feels like to be called a racist name by repeating a stereotype you have heard about their racial group. Once you've shared the stereotype, you might follow up with something like, "Now, I don't believe that about your race, but you can see how it feels to be the victim of a stereotype. Maybe next time you'll think twice about repeating one." Only do this with someone you know and whom you think is likely to be receptive to your example. Another way to do something positive for yourself and potentially impact others who experience racist insults is volunteerism and advocacy. Look up groups in your area that stand up against racism or inequality. Join one and do your part to reduce racial intolerance. Start by visiting the United Nations' website to learn what you can do to fight racism.

summary: Ask them to repeat themselves. Explain why the comment is inappropriate. Explain that some slang isn't OK to say outside of that ethnic group. Deliver a comeback about their own racial group. Commit to making an impact against racism.

Summarize the following:
When you go to speak with her, take along a nice present and card. These will show her that you're serious about healing the relationship. But don't go overboard; you don't want to look guiltier than you really are. It won't help if you go into the conversation with fiery arguments and angry words. Choose your phrases carefully; you can say the same thing several different ways with varying effect. Keep tight control over your tone so that it's either neutral or positive. This self-control is critical; if she feels that you're a loose cannon then it would be best for her to not be around you. After you've listened to her and the reasons why she's mad at you, ask her questions that show a genuine concern for her wellbeing. Even if you're not in the wrong, humility at this point will help her trust you more and more until the relationship is fixed. Ask questions like: "How did that make you feel?" "Is there anything I can do to make this any better?" "What do you need right now?" When you ask her questions about what's going on, do not zone out as she answers you. This will only exacerbate the situation. When you're able to respond and ask questions based off of what she has said, she will feel heard, which is often one of the most important things to girls. It doesn't matter if you think you have all the answers if she thinks that you're not listening to her. Do not expect for everything to be mended by the time the conversation has ended. Let her know that you're there for her but are willing to give the healing process some time. This implicitly tells her that you place great value on her judgment. Make sure she knows you want to continue talking in order to heal what's been broken and that you can see everything working out eventually. This will help her see the light at the end of the tunnel of this conflict. If she tells you that the relationship is over, respect her wishes. Arguing on this point will not help persuade her otherwise. Leave peacefully and maybe she will want to reestablish contact sometime in the future.

summary: Bring her a thoughtful gift. Stay calm. Prepare thoughtful questions. Be ready to listen. Make sure she doesn't feel pressured. End on a hopeful note. Know when to back off.

Summarize the following:
Feeling justified, angry, bitter, and resentful often stops people from forgiveness. Holding on to negative thoughts and feelings doesn't help you feel better or encourage you to let go. Consciously free yourself from these feelings by not harboring negativity toward other people. While this may not happen all at once, let go little by little. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget what happened or pretend like they didn't hurt you. Remember that forgiveness is more for you than it is for anyone else. Write a letter to a person without the intention of giving it to them. Write down the situation and why it upset you, then write that you forgive them. Symbolically release your hurt and pain by burning the letter or tearing it up. Empathy is a way to relate to other people. Instead of focusing on yourself, you focus on what another person is thinking and feeling so that you can understand them better. Place more focus on understanding the experiences of others to build empathy. For example, imagine what it would be like to live somebody else's life - with all of their circumstances - and how that would make you feel. You'll undoubtedly meet people you disagree with or don't get along with. Instead of digging your heels in further to defend your own thoughts and opinions, hear theirs out. Listen closely and seek to understand other people. Spend less time explaining yourself and more time gaining an understanding of someone else. Your ego will tell you to defend yourself or that the other person's viewpoint is invalid or stupid. Push these thoughts aside and seek to understand the differences more. If you think that you always know best for other people, recognize that this is part of your ego. Even if you disagree with someone, don't feel the need to tell them what to do or give them advice. While it's nice to be helpful, don't be pushy. If you want to provide your opinion or advice, first ask, "Can I give you my opinion?" or, "Would you like some advice?"
summary: Forgive people who have wronged you. Empathize with others. Be open to other opinions and viewpoints. Stop trying to control other people.