Article: Being replaced in a relationship is hurtful because we all need connection and to feel like we belong. You might feel sad, confused, stressed, or angry about your friend or former partner moving on. Trying to deny that you're hurt and angry will just leave you even more frustrated when you hear about or see the other person. Name your negative feelings as they come up. Don't judge them, justify them, or try to change them. It may be helpful to take slow, deep breaths when you're feeling emotional pain. Remember that your thoughts and feelings will not last forever. When you start to get upset and think about being replaced, you can say to yourself, "I am feeling hurt. This feeling won't last forever. I can get past this." Write down how you're feeling in a journal to bring yourself some closure. Reflect on the relationship in which you were replaced, left out, or rejected. You may have some responsibility in how things happened, even if they ended up treating you badly. Reflect on your role and decide if you want to talk to the other person about what happened for some closure. Consider seeking advice from a friend who knows your situation and can listen to you without judging. Find someone who can empathize with you and help you figure out what happened. If you need to, talking to the person who replaced you may give you some answers and allow you to detach from the pain of being rejected. Focus on finding out what went wrong to better improve your future relationships. Make sure you're calm before you approach them. Notice any tight sensations in your body or difficulty breathing. Those sensations may be a sign to leave this conversation for later, or that you may need to calm yourself down first. Try taking about ten deep breaths and say to yourself, "This is a difficult situation. All I can do is my best, no matter what the outcome may be." State honestly how you feel about what happened. For example, "I feel confused" or "I feel angry." Be clear about what you want or need from them. For example, "I need to know what happened. I'm wondering if I offended you or did something wrong. Would you be willing to talk about it?" Listen to the other person's words and feelings. Know that you may not get an answer from the other person or that they may not want to engage with you. If you can't get them to talk with you, or if they can't talk to you maturely, let it go. Your natural reaction to being replaced might be to work harder to get back in with that friend or former partner. Be true to yourself, what you like, and what your values are. You shouldn't have to change who you are. Before trying to fit back in with them, ask yourself: Why do I want to be a part of this group or relationship? What will I have to change about myself to be with them? Is it worth it to change? You might be tempted to wallow in self-blame. This is not going to help you resolve your feelings on any level. Most likely, the reasons why your friend drifted have more to do with your friend rather than anything you did in particular. Your friend might not be as mature as you, or be mature enough to realize how hurtful your friend's behavior is. There is always two sides to a situation. Avoid taking all the blame because it's not a realistic way of looking at the situation, and it can prolong hurt feelings if you beat yourself up with blame. The more you stay away from seeing your ex or former friend on social media, the less you'll be re-exposed to them and who they replaced you with. Stop torturing yourself by looking at the pictures of them with the person they replaced you with. Keep in mind that you're only seeing the good things on Facebook or social media that they post. You're not seeing the full picture of what it's like for them now that they're with this new person. Consider hiding them, de-friending them, or blocking them from your social media accounts. Consider deactivating your social media accounts briefly or permanently so that you don't have to encounter seeing them with the new person. Avoid commenting on, liking, or sharing their posts or pictures. It's natural to feel angry when you're replaced, but you don't need to act out to get their attention. Avoid gossiping, spreading rumors, or being mean to them on social media.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Acknowledge your pain. Acknowledge your role. Address the issue. Avoid compromising your values. Acknowledge things that are beyond your control. Avoid social media. Avoid being mean.