Problem: This review is like what?

Review:This film, The Alamo:Thirteen Days to Glory, is utter rubbish. The acting is awful, it is far too patriotic and its historical accuracy is not always at its best (Historians would have a field day). It does have a few good moments but not enough to keep interest because it is far too long. Rating * out of **********.
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Corbin Bernsen gives a terrifically intense and riveting performance as Dr. Alan Feinstone, a wealthy and successful Beverly Hills dentist who's obsessed with perfection. When he discovers that his lovely blonde babe trophy wife has been cheating on him and the IRS start hounding him about tax problems, Feinstone cracks under the pressure and goes violently around the bend. Director Brian Yuzna, working from a suitably dark, witty and demented script by Stuart Gordon, Dennis Paoli, and Charles Finch, exposes the seething neurosis and psychosis bubbling underneath the squeaky clean well-manicured surface of respectable affluent rich America with deliciously malicious glee. Moreover, Yuzna further spices up the grisly goings on with a wickedly twisted sense of pitch black gallows humor. Bernsen positively shines as Dr. Feinstone; he expertly projects a truly unnerving underlying creepiness that's right beneath Feinstone's deceptively calm and assured veneer. The supporting cast are likewise excellent: Linda Hoffman as Feinstone's bitchy, unfaithful wife Brooke, Earl Boen as smarmy, meddlesome IRS agent Marvin Goldblum, Molly Hagan as feisty assistant Jessica, Patty Toy as perky assistant Karen, Jan Hoag as jolly office manager Candy, Virginya Keehne as sweet, gawky teenager Sarah, Ken Foree as thorough, no-nonsense Detective Gibbs, Tony Noakes as Gibbs' equally shrewd partner Detective Sunshine, Michael Stadvec as womanizing stud muffin pool cleaner Matt, and Mark Ruffalo as on the make sleazeball Steve Landers. The first-rate make-up f/x are every bit as gory, gross and upsetting as they ought to be. The polished cinematography by Levie Isaaks boasts lots of great crazy tilted camera angles and a few tasty zoom-in close-ups. Alan Howarth's spirited shuddery score also hits the flesh-crawling spot. An enjoyably warped treat.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Sure I've seen bad movies in my life, but this one was so bad that I actually became angry in the theater. I wanted my money back. I wrote to the director asking him to refund my movie ticket, of course I didn't receive a refund (or even a reply) but it's the point that matters. On a scale of 1-10 I give this movie a -42. Why did the "Jeep" (Chevy Blazer??) stop running from being hit with a bat? Why did they hit the "Jeep"(Chevy Blazer?????) with the bat in the first place instead of cracking the bum's skull? The plot was thin, the movie filled with obvious cliches, and certain parts of it just didn't make any sense.
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Since I'd seen the other three, I figured I might as well catch this made for TV fourth part of The Omen series. As a stand alone film, this movie is mediocre; but as a sequel to the 1976 masterpiece; it's a travesty. The film goes along the same route that many series' go down when they're running out of ideas; that being the idea of changing the male lead to a female. It's always obvious that this film was made for television as the acting is very standard, the plot lacks ideas and the gruesome murder scenes seen in the previous three are kept to a bloodless minimum. The film does keep a thread with the original, which I won't reveal as despite being obvious; that revelation is one of the most interesting aspects of the movie. The basics of the plot largely copy Richard Donner's original, and see a young couple adopt a child, which they name Delia (not Damiella or Damiana, fortunately). There's a big dog involved, and a child minder; and pretty soon, the wife starts to suspect that the child may not quite be normal; as she's menstruating at eight years old, and never suffered from any illnesses...

The first two sequels to The Omen weren't bad at all, and the series really should have ended at number three. I guess there was money involved somewhere down the line, as there really is no artistic reason why this film should have been made. It brings nothing to the table in terms of originality, and the only thing it's likely to succeed in doing is annoying fans of the series. The film looks and feels like a TV movie all the way through and for the most part plays out like a film about the troubled upbringing of a young girl. Indeed, Asia Vieira does look like a little bitch; but she never convinces that she's the Antichrist, as her stares are redundant and most of the 'evil' she does is laughable. Faye Grant is given the meatiest role, and doesn't impress; while the rest of the cast regret agreeing to star in such an awful waste of time. The only good thing about this movie is the theme tune, which of course has been ripped off from the original; and is overused. On the whole, this film really isn't worth seeing; as it delivers nothing that the series is famous for, and doesn't even do justice to weaker second sequel.
+++++++++
A:
negative