Summarize:

If possible, avoid the situations and people that trigger these unwanted feelings. In some cases, you may not be able to avoid the trigger. For example, if the trigger is your job, school, or a close family member, you may not be able to completely avoid the situation. In these cases, you will need to use other techniques. For example, if you are nervous about a test and your friend asks you have you been studying for the test, tell your friend that you do not want to talk about it and then suggest another unrelated topic. If you are jealous of your partner's ex, do not look at the ex on social media. If need be, block the ex, so you are unable to access the profile. All situations have multiple aspects. There are always different you can focus on to avoid your particular trigger. You may be in a triggering situation and are unable to remove yourself from it. If you find yourself in a triggering situation, you can focus your attention away from the aspect of the situation that is causing your unwanted feelings. For example, if you are having a conversation with someone that is upsetting, you could count the ceiling tiles to distract yourself. If you are in a room and feel inferior compared to the really attractive people around you, you may scan the room for people who are more average looking or focus on the things you find attractive about yourself (e.g. smile, eyes, outfit, etc.) You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change the meaning that you apply to the situation. The meaning you assign to a situation dictates your feelings and behavior towards the situation. By changing the meaning, you can influence how you feel about something. For example, instead of getting nervous or fearful any time someone asks about your upcoming exam, tell yourself, "This is only a test. My personal value or success is not tied to this single test." Your goal is to replace these unwanted feelings with feelings that either bring you joy or make you feel content. Avoiding triggers, shifting your attention, and changing thoughts are all ways to prevent your unwanted feelings. If all of these strategies fail, you may begin to experience these feelings. When this happens, your best option is to manage how you respond. Modifying your response can include dealing with any physical sensations you experience and any behavior that is a result of your feelings. For example, if you become angry and your heart is racing and you are breathing heavily, you may practice breathing exercises to change how your body responds to your anger. If you tend to cry when you have upsetting conversations, you may excuse yourself and go to the bathroom when you feel the tears coming to avoid crying during the conversation. Write down the undesirable feelings on a piece of paper. By writing your feelings down, you turn them into external objects. Once you have written the feeling down, ball up the piece of paper and throw it away. When you throw your feeling away, you are saying that the thought is invalid and unimportant. Throwing your feelings away will decrease the impact these feelings have on your behavior and attitude. You can also use the computer and type your feelings in a document. Once you are finished, move the document into the recycle bin. When you do not get enough sleep, it is more difficult for your brain to regulate your emotions. Your brain becomes fatigued and cannot tell the difference between things that are important and things that are unimportant. Your negative situations may feel more important or more difficult than they would have if you were well rested. If you are an adult, try to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. If you are a teenager, try to get 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night.
Avoid your triggers. Shift your attention. Change your thoughts about the situation. Change how you respond. Throw your feelings in the trash. Get enough sleep.