This set of rules should be written with consideration of your child's age. Younger children will need simple, straightforward rules, while older children can begin to understand more complex rules, that may be flexible depending on the situation. The list should prioritize those rules that are based on the naughty behaviors your children are demonstrating. For example, if your child gets aggressive when they don't get what they want, then you should draft a rule that makes this behavior strictly forbidden. The list should include other things you expect your child to do each day, such as brushing their teeth, making their bed, putting away their toys, etc. Encourage the child to help you make the rules, such as by asking them questions about what types of behavior are acceptable. For example, you could ask the child, "What are some of the things we should do before school?" Sit down and discuss this list of rules with your child so that they know what is expected of them. Not only do you need to have a clear set of rules that your child can understand and follow, but you should also make clear what will happen when one of the rules is broken. If a higher priority rule is broken (e.g. if your child hits you), then the consequence should be more severe than if the child breaks a less high priority rule (e.g. doesn't make up the bed in the morning). Never hit or spank your child. Not only does this damage your relationship with them, but it also shows them that they can get what they want by hitting smaller, weaker people. Make sure to discuss each rule together with the consequence that will occur if they break the rule. This way, they understand what to expect. For older children, you may even discuss the consequences of breaking a rule together and ask for their input on what some appropriate consequences might be. Children who are bored will find ways to entertain themselves. While it is not necessarily a bad thing for children to use their own imaginations when it comes to entertaining themselves, it can also cause them to act out and behave in ways they know they shouldn't. For example, if your child will be home all day long, try to schedule different activities. Let them color with a coloring book and crayons for an hour while you do what you need to do. Spend some time playing together with them, ask them to help you make lunch, or do some finger painting outside together. It's good to give your child some time to play by themselves, but it is also important to spend time playing together and nurturing your relationship. In addition to giving your child plenty of tasks, you should have a routine that you stick to each day, especially if your child is not yet of school age. This will help them understand what to expect and when to expect it, reducing the likelihood of boredom or frustration. For example, have them take their nap at the same time each day. If they are of school age, have them wake up at the same time each day, even weekends. Create a routine. For example, having them take their bath each day before bedtime, which will also signal to them that it's time to wind down. If you are not able to do something that is on the schedule, then make sure to provide an alternative time for the activity and keep your promise to help build trust. Obviously, as the child grows, you will have to re-think the rules and the consequences attached to them. Therefore, it is important to remember that younger children won't be able to process complex rules with contingencies, while older children can be given a bit more control and independence. Children between 0 and 2 will not be able to understand a set of rules. Instead, if there are things you want them to avoid, it is best to keep those things out of reach. If they get into something, gently but firmly tell them, "No," and distract them with another activity. You can use timeouts of a few minutes to help them associate certain actions (such as biting or hitting) with a negative consequence. Timeouts of longer than a few minutes will not be effective for children at this young age. Children between the ages of 3 and 5 will be able to understand the connections between what they are doing and the consequence that follows. If the child misbehaves, explain what they did wrong, and warn what will happen if they do it again. The next time it happens, remind them of what you told them and apply the consequence. From ages 6 until 8, timeouts are a good way of enacting discipline. Make a designated timeout spot that will be free from any distractions (such as TV, computer, etc.) so that the child will need to think about what they did. Again, remember not to take it to the extreme. A timeout of 6 to 8 minutes should be sufficient. If the child throws a tantrum, tell them they will remain in the timeout until they are able to calm themselves. Beginning at the age of 9 up until 12, you can begin to use natural punishments, in addition to enacted discipline, such as grounding them for a week if they break a rule. For example, if your child failed to do his homework for bed, let him learn what happens when he returns to school without doing his homework. Beginning at this age, children should begin to learn for themselves what happens when they don't do what is asked of them. If your child is a teenager, you will need to re-establish the rules so that they can exercise their own control and independence, within reason. If a rule is broken, there should still be consequences, but as before, it is important to explain to them why they should stick to the rules. For example, if they come home past curfew without calling, explain why that is very worrisome for you. Make sure to ask the teen for their input about the consequence as well.

Summary: Draft a set of rules. Attach immediate consequences to each rule. Give them things to do. Have a schedule. Consider the age of the child.

You may not be able to solve the situation--your mother is still going to be sick no matter what you do. However, you can be there for her. You can show up when you're needed. You can offer support and encouragement. It may not be dealing with the problem as you'd liked to do, but you will be doing something, which can help alleviate your feelings of uselessness. You can pray, meditate, or just take a few deep breaths, but whatever way, take a moment to calm yourself down. Accept that you do not have control over the situation. Your mother may be sick, but you can take the time you are spending with her to develop a better relationship with her than you've had in the past. Even if it doesn't change anything, it will help others realize that they aren't the only ones who are dealing with these feelings, which is a way you can provide support. It also opens up the discussion, so others have a chance to talk about their feelings, as well. Long-term stressful situations can lead to depression, and feeling useless could be a symptom of depression, especially if it is accompanied by other symptoms. Symptoms of depression include having trouble focusing, feeling pessimistic, not being interested in things you usually enjoy, feeling guilty, being extra tired, being consistently sad, and even experiencing physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches. Feeling sad on occasion doesn't mean you're depressed. Depression is a sustained period of not caring and feeling sad. When symptoms start to overrun your life, you may be depressed. If you are depressed, you may need medication, or you might need to seek out counseling to help you work through some issues, which may help alleviate your feelings of uselessness. Remember, being depressed is not a sign of weakness. It can be caused by a traumatic event in your life, but it could also be a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected. Also, certain medications, your genes, and other problems like illnesses can also lead to depression.
Summary: Do what you can. Take some time to stop and breathe. Focus on what's going well and make that a larger part of your life. Talk about what you're feeling with others in the situation. Check yourself for signs of depression. See a doctor if you suspect you are depressed.