Problem: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive positive
=++++=
Answer: I have read many comments on this site criticizing The Blob for being cheesy and or campy. The movie has been faulted for amateurish acting and weak special effects. What would you expect from a group of folks whose only experience has been in the production of low budget, locally produced (Valley Forge PA) Christian Shorts. Let me tell those overly critical reviewers that this film never took itself all that serious. That fact should be evident from the mismatched theme music complete with silly lyrics played over the opening credits. For what it was meant to be, this film is excellent. I have seen a few of the recent ultra low budget attempts, Blair Witch Project was one of them, that have absolutely no entertainment value or intelligent thought behind their plot. BWP was pure excrement. The Blob, on the other hand, was well thought out, well scripted, and thoroughly entertaining. The scene where the old man comes across the meteorite and pokes the mass contained within with a stick was excellently done and genuinely creepy. The scene in the doctor's office with the Blob slowly moving under the blanket on the gurney while it consumed the old man was a cinematic horror masterpiece. Bottom line is, I love this movie. I challenge anyone out there to take $120,000.00, inflated for today's dollar value, and make a film anywhere near as entertaining and or as successful as the Blob. It just can't be done. PERIOD!

Thank you for taking time to read this review.
An example of a movie review. positive (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive).

A: Four prisoners share a single cell: the domineering transvestite, Marcus (Clovis Cornillac); Marcus's idiot savant buddy, Paquerette (Dimitri Rataud), who will eat anything in sight including pocket watches, cockroaches, and his little sister; Lassalle (Philippe Laudenbach), the intelligent librarian who murdered his wife; and Carrere (Gerald Laroche), the new guy who was caught up in corporate fraud and is now focused on escaping. After a brick falls from the wall of the cell, the men discover the hidden journal written by a 'Fountain of Youth'-obsessed serial killer who occupied the cell in the 1920s. Is this journal the secret to their escape? Or is there something much more sinister behind it?

I was a little weary about getting into this film because the only other experience I have with Eric Valette was the dreadful One Missed Call (2008), which I consider to be the worst theatrically released film I've ever seen. However, much of what was wrong with One Missed Call could probably be attributed to Klavan's awful script, because (as I remember) Valette's direction wasn't the worst part about the film (unless he chose to include the baby). Anyway, Malefique was a good way to get my respect back. . . it's a French film (obviously something I like) and it takes place in prison (which is my second favourite horror setting after asylums). So that's two points for him before the film even starts. Luckily, Valette had me once the film ended as well. Malefique is a rather deep, rather complex, rather compelling story of obsession and desperation. . . the desire and need to bring fantasies to reality. While it's not a terrifying film in the traditional sense, the oddity of its power makes it pretty damn frightening. The period between the climax and conclusion was some of the best film I've seen in quite some time and I would wholeheartedly recommend this to anyone who is looking for a decent psychological thriller with some pretty cool gore.

Final verdict: 8.5/10. Quite a bit of respect earned back by Valette.

Note: Paramount picked up the rights to make an American remake (surprise surprise). It's due out in 2009. I'm not sure why, to be honest, as this doesn't seem like something that would be a big moneymaker here in the states. But, I've been surprised before.

Vive La France!

-AP3-
Q: What's an example of a movie review?
An example of a movie review is here: The only reason I saw "Shakedown" was that it has Erika Eleniak in it. She's sexy as always, but she plays second fiddle to leading man Wolf Larson. It's a pity, because she has more action capabilities than she's allowed to show here. The film largely consists of endless shootouts that quickly become monotonous - especially when most of the time you are seeing the bad guys armed with machine guns constantly missing Larson and him armed only with a revolver (that NEVER runs out of bullets) taking them all out rather easily. The earthquake effects are decent, but there is also a lot of blurry motion and poor CGI explosions. As the psychotic "spiritual leader", Ron Perlman tries, but the pseudo-religious mumbo-jumbo he has to spout is simply boring. Eleniak, Perlman or Larson (assuming he has any) completists might want to give this one a look, for others it is barely worth a rental. (*1/2)
Problem: Write a negative (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer: KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (1963; which I recall having rated BOMB) had been my introduction to cult director Honda's work; this one isn't necessarily better it's just that I've learned to be more tolerant towards such intrinsically lowbrow fare!

Here, we actually get two Kongs for the price of one: an ugly and dopey-looking giant ape and a robot variation of it which looks even worse! The simian creature lives on the island of Mondo(!) where it's shown fighting a couple of other monsters, and befriends a trio of humans. Naturally, it falls for the blonde (and bland) heroine; in fact, more intriguing is a femme fatale in cahoots with the film's villainous mad genius called Dr. Who and sporting the anemic look and cape usually associated with a vampire!!

He kidnaps King Kong and hypnotizes it in order to retrieve the Element X, which is embedded in the icy wastes of the North Pole; apparently, the giant ape is more impervious to radiation than its mechanical counterpart (and, to ensure its full co-operation, Who even captures its three 'companions')! The female agent then has a change of heart, helps the heroes (one of whom, typically, is a nondescript American) and is killed by Who. Kong eventually escapes and makes it to Tokyo, where it has a final showdown with the robot. The doctor flees the ensuing mayhem in his sub which, on a request by Kong's dreamgirl, is summarily trashed by the giant ape.
Problem: OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive negative
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Answer:
Wow...where to begin...picked this up at Big Lots for only $2.99. That's three bucks I'll never see again...ever...and for what? I'll tell ya. An hour and fifteen minutes of boring, boring, boring chat and college angst that seemed more suitable for a Lifetime movie than the horror flick advertised on the box. (May the marketing droids who designed it burn in Hell for all eternity). Follow that up with a little bit of cheap gore (not even good gore mind you...) and a plot twist at the end that comes out of nowhere, and makes no sense. Awful, awful, awful...

Was there any redeeming qualities? Well, on the Joe Bob Briggs scale, there WERE six breasts involved, but that's hardly worth my long lost three bucks. Without those, this coulda been on Sci-Fi at, say, two or three in the morning...

Bmoviefreak