Q: Given a text, write a compressed version of it in a single sentence.
While writers whose business it is to be witty often fail to produce, grave authors occasionally are mirthful when laughter is farthest from their minds. From a lifetime of undisciplined reading with innocent pencil in hand and malice prepense in mind, I have gleaned a harvest of what I am pleased to denominate Red Pants items, a sampling of which follows.
A:
Writers whose business it is to be witty often fail, grave authors are mirthful when laughter is not intended. A lifetime of undisciplined reading with innocent pencil in hand and malice prepense in mind, I have gleaned a harvest of what I am pleased to denominate.