Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: There's just nothing else like this place. I have been going to ASU for 2 1/2 years and I am literally mad that I didn't find out about this place sooner. I would drive across town to eat here. Phenomenal food and super friendly staff with great menu knowledge. As a former server, the excellent service tops it all off. It's my favorite spot in town for two reasons: not easy to find and totally amazing. Done and done.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: We were excited to try a new pizza place, even more so when we heard it was from the same guys at Secret Pizza at the Cosmo. Really wanted to like this place, but it was not meant to be. The mishaps started when we tried to call ahead for pickup. The first time we called it went to a voicemail box after several rings with no way to leave a message (not that we would anyway). We double checked that the number was correct and that they should be open. The same thing happened with the second call. I don't know what possessed us to try yet again, but the third time our call was answered. Not an auspicious start... What a great way to lose a lot of potential business from less tenacious, potential customers. We ordered the Italian white pizza ($22) and a spinach salad ($7) and were told it would be ready in 30 minutes. I arrived about 35 minutes later and was told my order was not quite ready yet. As I was paying for my order, I noticed that they were just putting my pizza into the oven. WTH? Really? I guess that's a new personal first... When we get pizza from anywhere else, we are told 20 minutes (sometimes 30 minutes if it's prime time on Fri night), and when we show up it is usually ready or occasionally comes out of the oven a couple minutes after arrival. Here, I proceeded to wait another 10 minutes for the pizza to be cooked and then another 5 minutes of so for them to construct the spinach salad. So basically, it took another 15 minutes after I arrived for my order to be ready for a total time of 50 minutes from when I called. It should go without saying that it shouldn't take 50 minutes to prepare your take-out pizza order. Even if that was acceptable, they shouldn't tell you 30 minutes, only for you to show up and wait significantly longer. It wasn't like they were busy. I was the only customer there until this other guy showed up to pick up his pizza which they just started to put in the oven as I was leaving. I guess I'm not the only one... We were hoping that after all this, at least the food would be worth the wait. Not by a long shot... Although it smelled pretty good, the pizza crust was undercooked so we stuck it in the oven for another 5 minutes. Despite this, the pizza crust was quite soggy in the middle and pretty greasy throughout. The broccoli rabe topping was tough, and the homemade sausage was nothing special. My wife commented that she would rather have Dom DeMarco's pizza, and she doesn't even like their pizza! Of note, they included tiny containers of red pepper flakes, oregano, and parmesan which was a nice touch. The spinach salad was even more disappointing. It was lined with an anemic pita (not included in the salad description) and contained a relatively small amount of wilted, soggy spinach dressed with some bacon lardons, goat cheese, and candied almonds. We'll be sticking with our tried and true, Rocco's Pizza, where the crust is cooked properly, it's not too greasy, the toppings taste better, it's ready in 20 minutes, and it even costs less ($18). Sorry, Those Guys Pies. I just tell it how it is, and you've got a long way to go.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
So you saw all the pictures people posted right? Looks good right? Mmm U can taste it already in your mouth...the hot spicey tofu soup, the bulgogi lunch combo...mmmm I saw small little teeth marks on my kimchee that most likely was from a rat getting into the tub of kimchee in the back kitchen somewhere. These marks were not a half eaten kimchee cube from a human. I know what a half eaten kimchee cube looks like from a human. This was a pest. I spit my food out. Got up and left. Didn't even bother reracking the food tray. Never came back during my two year prison sentence in grad school.