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The point of sharing your point of view is to find a solution to a problem. If you and your parents are routinely misunderstanding each other, work to find a mutually beneficial solution. Look for a way to smooth out miscommunications as they occur. For example, maybe your parents feel you're on your phone too much. Your parents come from a generation that primarily communicates through phone calls and face-to-face interactions. They may not understand the function of social media and text messaging on modern relationships. Try to say something to your parents like, "The next time you see me on the phone, think about my age. My whole life, text and the Internet have been how I communicate with friends. It may seem petty, but it's really no different than when you and Dad phone old classmates." You should also be willing to compromise. While they want you to have a healthy social life, maybe when you're on your phone at dinner or family events, your parents feel like you're not enjoying their company. You could request they not give you a hard time about using your phone during your own downtime. However, you could agree to lessen phone time at the dinner table or when you're all hanging out. Change does not happen overnight. It may take your parents time to hear and understand you after you explain your perspective to them. Do not expect them to change overnight. Forgive your parents for small mistakes. Maybe they agreed to ask less questions about your social life, as you've proven yourself trustworthy. However, they may still pry on occasion. Try to let go of the fact your mom asked three questions in a row about your friend Jane's new boyfriend. Remind your parents, respectfully, when they're forgetting your point of view. If your mom asks you why you've been on your phone for an hour, say something like, "Mom, sorry, but we talked about this. I spend a lot of time talking to my friends through my phone. You know I'm just texting Sophie. You don't need to ask." While you may want your parents to understand your point of view, you can't expect you won't have rules and responsibilities you need to follow. It's reasonable that your parents have certain expectations of your behavior. Try to respect these expectations. Be upfront about what you're doing. If you're going to see a movie with Theresa, do not say you're hanging out at Theresa's house for the evening. If your parents want you to check in on occasion, call them or send them a text updating them on what you're doing. Complete any responsibilities you have. Do your homework on time, keep up with chores around the house, and be respectful of your parents. If you want your parents to understand you, active communication is key. Make a point of talking to your parents regularly. This way, your parents will get to know you as a person. This will make it easier for them to understand your point of view. Talk every day. Even if it's just a 10 minute chat over dinner, communication is important. If your parents ask you how your day was, make a point of offering an in-depth answer instead of something like, "Okay" or "Fine." Chat about day-to-day things. If you're struggling to think of topics for conversation, just talk about small things. Share an anecdote about something that happened at school. Let them know about the funny thing your friend Josh said at lunch. There's always a bigger picture at play when there is a disappointment or misunderstanding between two people. What is it you really want your parents to understand about you? How can you continue to make this clear as you move forward? What can your parents do to help make your relationship run more smoothly? Let's return to an example from earlier. You want your parents to understand why prom night is important to you. However, on a deeper level you wish they would trust your judgment more. What are ways you can make this clear to your parents? Small things can speak volumes in terms of establishing trust. From now on, maybe you could fill your parents in on small aspects of your life without prompting. This may make them less likely to think you're hiding something. If you got a bad grade on a test, let them know you slipped up and will try to do better in the future. It's better they hear it upfront, from you, rather than receiving the news from your teacher in a few days.
Look for a mutually beneficial solution. Have patience. Accept rules and responsibilities. Talk regularly. Think about the bigger picture.