input: Watchable little semi-soaper, but hardly captivating. Still, two or three funny moments. What amazes me is how slippery and morally highly questionable McNicol is. She plays an invalid (a leg problem), yet she not only isn't the "ugly duckling" whom men shun, but she is even a man-eater - and we are supposed to feel for her! Oh, poor little McNicol, with her leg problem... Poor little McNicol??! She is constantly getting passes from men, and even dumps them without so much as blinking! At one occasion she even has a premeditated one-night affair with a blond stud, and then she tells her newly-found French girlfriend quite non-chalantly that it took him time to get an erection! Makes us viewers wonder why she is so leg-conscious if every guy wants to hump her. Well, almost every guy; the only guy who really shunned her after seeing her leg wrapped up in metal is the guy working on the telephone. But otherwise she seems to be doing just fine with men! No shyness, no lack of success with men, and she throws them away like toys; the way she dumped Carradine was ridiculous. Poor little invalid girl?? I don't think so. And yet we are meant to believe that this woman has a major confidence problem; hence the scene in which she prepares to start playing the flute for a solo concert and somehow manages to throw the notes on the ground out of nervousness. Nervousness?? The rest of the movie shows little or nothing that would suggest that she has confidence problems, so this flute scene is absurd and doesn't fit into the bigger picture. I was also surprised how quickly and eagerly McNicol makes friends with a French woman who is screwing a married guy. On the surface the movie would appear to be a "sentimental story of one crippled woman's struggle for acceptance" (or something like that) but it's nothing like that at all; the writer clearly shifts between this type of movie and a "screw anything that moves - it's the 80s" kind of movie - very confusing.

As far as her leg: it's not like she has a big, fat purple balloon growing on her calf muscle. She "only" has a normal-looking metal prosthetic attached to the lower part of her leg, so I really don't understand why the makers of the film try to make it seem as if she is a female Quasimodo or something, at the beginning of the film. It's not like she has a twin head growing out of her neck! Though McNicol is hardly a major catch. Kind of cutish but nothing special, quite average.

But what the hell is Carradine doing playing some kind of a (relatively) smooth guy flirting with McNicol and her pal?! This guy was in "Revenge of the Nerds"! But I guess it's the same thing with the Carradines in the movies as it is with the Kennedys in politics: no matter how ugly, unable, or dumb, all the doors are open for a career in movies and politics, respectively.

Down with nepotism.

If you want to read bogus biographies about the Carradines, and other Hollywood nepotists and morons, contact me by e-mail.

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pos/neg ans: negative

input: This show was a landmark in American comedy as it was the first sitcom to star an all Afro-American cast. Sadly though it was never broad-casted on British TV.

The Evans family are a poor Afro-American family living in a tower block. The Dad is called James, he tries to run the house, but his wife Florida always gets the better of him. The three children are the artistic JJ, the moody Thelma and the young intellectual child Michael. Always coming into the house is Florida's gossipy friend Willona.

I watched two episodes of this show on youtube (Black Jesus and Sex and the Evans Family- the only two on the site). You may be thinking why has an English viewer watched a series that has never been shown or hardly heard of in his country. The answer is this. In 1976, Britains first all black sitcom came out called "The Fosters" Only two series were made and it now seems forgotten. But I watched an episode and was really impressed. Then I learnt that the scripts were identical to "Good Times". They were exactly the same characters but with different names- Sam Foster was the Dad, his wife was Pearl Foster and the three children were Sonny (a young Lenny Henry), Shirley and Benjamin. Pearl's gossipy friend was Vilma. (To read about The Fosters, I have wrote a review about that). Whilst watching "Good Times" only two things annoyed me. First off was the opening theme tune (awful) and secondly was the audience laughter. I like audience laughter, but in this somebody would say a slightly funny line and the audience would go mad and start clapping. Apart from that it was a very funny show. Let's hope more episodes turn up on youtube and lets hope that someone will release "The Fosters" on DVD in England.

Best Episode: Sex and the Evans family- Series 1 episode 6. The Foster's episode of it was called Sex in the Black Community. The other episode I saw, Black Jesus was a title of one episode of "The Fosters"

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pos/neg ans: positive

input: When the Grinch came out I was excited though I thought it was going to be a happy go lucky film and it was. Though it did have a little Nightmare before Christmas touch to it. You know kind of dark and spooky. I loved this film because it helped fill people with the Christmas spirit. So mostly the Grinch saved Christmas. And what happened then well in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. MERRY GRINCHMAS!

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pos/neg ans: positive

input: Have I seen a worse movie? Perhaps only "Manos: The Hands of Fate" dragged more than "Dukes". I had more fun poking at the gigantic plot holes than the movie gave me at any point. Let's touch on a few...

There was a noticeable script death and rebirth when Sheev is talking to the Dukes and they don't respond. He shrugs and moves on, since neither the Knoxville or Scott know what he's talking about (nor do we). It was like the engine died and was restarted.

The few times the General Lee flew through the air weren't even that exciting. Nothing I haven't seen on the TV Series.

Very little chemistry between Knoxville and Scott. The best part was when Bo is upset at Luke for stealing the girl he liked. The only reason this works is that the script actually forshadowed it (although roughly). The rest of the time it seems distant and forced.

Seann William Scott's awful, horrendous accent (or lack thereof).

I hated Willie Nelson's performance. Were bad jokes supposed to be endearing? I wanted him to disappear.

Jessica Simpson comes across splendidly on the big screen. She actually felt like one of the better actors in the film. That's telling you how horrible this movie is. She's a goddess.

During the climax of the film, I was rooting for Boss Hogg and the bad guys to flatten all of Hazzard County, starting with Willie Nelson and his accomplices. A nuclear bomb would have sufficed.

This is not meant to be a coherent dismantling of the film, but a release of frustration at the abysmal writing and execution of what could have been a truly heartwarming film.

If only we could erase and start over...

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pos/neg ans:
negative