Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: I had been eyeing the groupon they offer for two large sandwiches for $14.99 and last night was the perfect storm of circumstance and laziness so i popped in around 6:15 to a small wonderful smelling italian deli. A couple people were waiting for to-go orders and they were busy. The guy at the counter finished helping them then asked me what I would like. I mentioned my groupon and ordered the Philly and the Brooklyn. He mentioned it would be about 15 mins..."no problem" I said as the smell in this place was awesome. About 15 minutes later he emerged with two GIGANTIC foil wrapped bombers. When i git home I enjoyed a QUARTER of each and Im a huge eater. The philly was very good but a tad dry and the Brooklyn cold cut sub was absolute $$$$$ Fresh ingredients, huge portions, authentic prep, and a counter guy who knew almost every customers name but mine.....soon enough i think.

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: Returned in hopes of another afternoon feeding the birds/ducks/geese and fun time at the park. Alas, we showed up with a full bag of white bread and some crackers, typical fowl faire. First thing I noticed versus last time was that ALL the birds/ducks/geese have turned into ultra aggressive, threatening beasts from a B-movie. They were mobbing me nearly to the point of an altercation. I am 6'6" and felt a bit freaked., my 6 year old was managing better than I. I was answered by a friendly, although haggard security guard. He screamed from nearby, STOP, DONT FEED THE BIRDS. Seems they have a few signs that say the same. I asked him about this a few minutes after stopping and he told me it is city rules now. One,"white bread isn't good for ducks. Unbuttered popcorn is best." Two,"people have complained about the poop on the sidewalks." So, thanks to all you ultra-animal lovers and snobby moms for ruining this rather enjoyable time for us all. But, i guess we all foot the bill to pay this poor man who has to holler at parents with kids like a Grinch when he could muster up his dignity to work somewhere protecting or safeguarding something more valuable than your crummy loafers and animals that I have never seen suffer from gobbling up Wonder Bread. Give me a Friggen Break... The park was still fun and we had a good time regardless. Geez, just what this city needs know on a stretched budget, "Duck Police". Great job you all who are scared of nature and the scary things it might leave on your precious sidewalks. And BTW, animal lovers, they brought the ducks to live at the pond! There are MANY other places that might need your attention than this one park...

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer:
Our daughter has been attending classes here for about 5 years. SUPER professional environment. Very efficient staff. The classes and rehearsals and recitals are a joy. Saw the Nutcracker for the first time this past holiday season and was blown away by the production values and the performances.