TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: there are two things the american film industry should avoid at all costs .
one is letting an ambitious actor convert one of his or her favorite novels into a feature film .
two is never greenlight a sci - fi film starring john travolta .
to wit , we present the disaster that is battlefield earth .
a science - fiction opus starring the barbarino of the actors guild , battlefield earth should be shown only at maximum - security prisons when a prisoner is tossed in solitary for bad behavior .
sci - fi is always a tricky beast : tight script , a good director , an ensemble cast of decent actors , and the ability to suspend even the most difficult of disbeliefs .
battlefield earth
fails at achieving even one of these attributes .
here 's the ' plot . '
the year is 3000 .
mankind has been become an endangered species thanks to the conquest of a race of aliens called the psychlos ( sounds like either the latest clown act from cirque de soleil or a white rap group ) .
a small band of humans dwell in radioactive caves located in the rockies in fear of the ' demons ' who dwell in the cities below .
the psychlos are strip - mining the earth for its resources and terel , played by travolta , is the head of security for the mining / slave base located in denver .
a young rogue named jonnie goodboy tyler , played with dramatic flair by barry pepper , ventures from the safety of the caves into the city to uncover the truth about the ' demons . '
he is promptly captured and taken to the alien base .
after several attempts at escape , johnnie is placed in the middle of an underhanded subplot of terel 's , involving circumventing gold from an exposed vein in the rockies to his own end .
jonnie , assumed leader of the mining slave group , then manages to attain all psychlo and human intelligence through
a learning machine terel forces him to use .
then the story just runs along until jonnie teaches the rest of the humans the basics of trigonometry , the bill of rights , how to use a machine gun , and how to fly a harrier jet .
the whole mess concludes with a big , loud , obnoxious gun - and - plane battle that had me praying for the end credits .
roger christian , the director of this lumbering beast , must have rented dune , blade runner , planet of the apes , independence day , stargate , beastmaster , the airwolf episodes , the ' v ' miniseries , the matrix , and the omega man . . . and decided to steal every scene he could for battlefield earth .
christian even shoots every scene in a weird dutch angle titled left or right for every frame of the movie !
and every scene in the movie ends with a middle wipe -- really .
the psychlos reminded me of a cross between jamaican basketball players with bad teeth and bloated hands and klingon extras working the star trek convention circuit .
travolta 's acting has n't been this bad since the experts or maybe perfect .
jonnie goodboy tyler evolves into william wallace with lines like
' you can have your freedom if you fight ! '
then there 's the script : the film just never convinces you that the plight of jonnie in teaching his fellow humans to fight and ' take back the planet ' would be a difficult task to achieve .
why ?
because terel provides all the necessary tools to incite a revolt -- for no particular reason beside the fact that ' humans are stupid . '
terel may be right , you know .
humans made this movie .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: available for rental - october 12 , 1999 10 things i hate about you is an update of the classic play , the taming of the shrew .
that said , drop any pre - conceived notions of what shakespeare 's work is supposed to be like and welcome yourself to padua high school , home of a student counselor ( allison janney ) who obsesses over the male penis ; a slightly too hip and racist african - american english teacher ( daryl mitchell ) ;
a new kid named cameron ( joseph gordon - levitt ) ; a model named joey ( andrew keegan ) , the subject of cameron and joey 's crushes ; bianca ( larisa oleynik ) ; and bianca 's sister - the shrew ( julia stiles in a marvelous performance ) - whose name is katarina , kat for short .
with movies about high schools similar to these running through projectors like water down the nile , it would be quite easy to write off 10 things i hate about you as just another doltish comedic - romance .
yet , you must realize that the story is timeless , and a few hundred years later it is equally as witty and comical
as when elizabeth gleefully looked on , groundlings below and stuffed brassieres on stage .
the first reminder of the original scribe can be found in katarina and bianca 's last name : stratford .
their family is run by walter stratford ( pretty woman 's larry miller ) , a doctor who is all too familiar with teenage pregnancy and guards his children accordingly .
in what he thinks to be a moment of ironic humor , the family " no dating " policy is amended to " bianca can date .
. .
when [ katarina ] does .
" with prom just ahead , bianca 's fate is grim ; unless , of course , she can tame the shrew .
do n't think this mission to be a simple one , as bianca kindly points out , her sister " .
.
. is a particularly hideous breed of loser .
" getting katarina to date is complex and oftentimes confusing .
when cameron , who likes bianca , learns of her father 's new rule , he is quick to consult a friend for advice .
the scheme they dream up is to fully exploit " someone with money .
" in this case , that is joey - the other guy with a crush on bianca .
cameron 's friend , a loser by teenage verdict , convinces joey to pay someone who has enough guts to take the shrew out .
the solution lies no farther away than the second blatant reminder of the master scribe : patrick verona ( heath ledger ) .
this verona is far from fair ; rumor has it that he previously laid his scene in prison .
moreover , katarina openly opined to the aforementioned english teacher that " hemingway was an alcoholic who hung around picasso , hoping to nail his leftovers .
"
the laws of high school cinema inexorably turn patrick and katarina into romeo and juliet .
providing a constant reminder of the fact that this is n't exactly what shakespeare had in mind are the elements obligatory to a high school comedy :
a party polluted with liquor , a best friend 's betrayal , and prom .
it is the latter that has become infamous for closing films like drive me crazy , american pie , never been kissed , carrie , she 's all that , and ca n't hardly wait .
yet surely even these practices have roots in shakespeare ; falstaff was a drunk , romeo and juliet met at a party , and caesar learned about loyalty the hard way .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: alchemy is steeped in shades of blue .
kieslowski 's blue , that is .
with its examination of death , isolation , character restoration , and recovery from loss , suzanne myers ' new independent film echoes the polish director 's internationally - acclaimed 1993 release .
language aside , the principal difference between the films is that , while kieslowski took great pains to draw us into the main character 's world , alchemy keeps its viewers at arm 's length .
as a result , while we 're able to appreciate the film 's intellectual tapestry , it is emotionally distant .
alchemy is divided into three chapters : " charity " , " faith " , and " hope " .
while there are common themes and story elements running through all three , the single constant is the main character , a sculptor / russian translator named louisa ( rya kihlstedt ) .
when the film opens , she 's living with her painter boyfriend , whom she believes to be cheating on her .
following his sudden death in an automobile accident , louisa 's life is thrown into turmoil .
events swirls around her , and she ca n't find a source of stability .
in her quest to make sense out of her loss , she befriends her late boyfriend 's mistress , visits her ill sister , and , eventually , abandons her old life by joining a " back - to- nature " cult .
alchemy successfully explores a variety of compelling issues .
in addition to asking the basic question of how a person should cope with the unexpected death of a loved one , it probes beneath the surface of concepts like the importance of faith in the healing process , the meaning of love , and the nature of art .
does personality restoration come through interacting with others or escaping from the familiar ?
are artistic epiphanies the result of focused solitude or of living life , with all of its various distractions , to the fullest ?
myers ' challenge is to make these subjects , art film staples , engrossing in a new context .
through louisa 's struggles , she succeeds .
while alchemy is n't always emotionally appealing , it never loses its fascination .
even when we 're not connecting with louisa , who is often more of a locus for ideas than a fully - developed personality , there 's enough material on - screen to hold our attention .
the cinematography is stunning .
city scenes are tinted with blue , adding a cold , bleak dimension to the film 's early portions .
later , when louisa reaches the " wilderness " , we 're treated to a dazzling array of autumnal splendor -- brightly - colored leaves in the trees and on the ground .
it 's a startling - but - effective visual contrast that emphasizes the changes taking place in louisa 's life as she travels the road back to emotional stability .
the title refers to the practice of a group of mystical faith- healers who use " alchemy " to provide for the needs of the body and soul .
and , although louisa partakes of their peculiar brand of medicine , it 's ultimately love and companionship , not alchemy , that brings solace .
her pain is assuaged only when she lets go of the belief that the inherent safety of being alone is life 's ultimate goal .
even though louisa 's final transformation lacks the impact it could have possessed
had she been a more vital character , it 's still an intriguing and enlightening process to watch
.
alchemy is n't pure magic , but , especially during its best moments , it 's close .

SOLUTION:
P