Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: So we were walking up 5th street in search of Conspire. We walk and we walk and nothing. We finally come up to what appears to be a restaurant converted from a house. Seems dead so we ask the construction crew there and they assured us it was open. We walk in and the first thing I see is a black man behind the counter. My first thought was, cool, a diner of sorts. May be this is some breakfast joint and I'll get me some grits. Then a white waitress sits us and presents us the menu. My first thought was, "What the?!" Most of the menu contained asian fusion dishes. Huh. Skepticism flared up immediately. The waitress highly recommended the CRAB PUFFS, especially since the crabs were flown in fresh regularly. Honestly, I could not tell that there was any crab in these things at all. They tasted like, well, cream cheese deep fried in won ton skins. That's it. The waitress also recommended the House Dynamite and the PAD THAI. I opted for the latter. It is unlike any pad thai I have ever eaten. Ever. The sauce was soupy. The noodles were not pad thai noodles. The dish didn't have some of the items one usually expects from pad thai, like say, oh bean sprouts. Surprisely, I actually liked the flavor of the dish. It wasn't bad and had a nice kick to it. But there's no way that's pad thai. I also had some thai iced tea, which came from a bottle. On the way back to the hotel, we came across Conspire (on fifth st!)! We look quizickly up at the closest street sign (5th street) and down the street (5th street). Wha?! Damn you downtown Phoenix with your numbered streets and avenues and repeating streets!

Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: Been to Brooklyn V's several times since they've open, my complaint isn't the food... Last night my husband tried to order a pizza for take out. It was 845, they close at 9. The young female on the phone stated that they didn't want to make our pizza since they were closing... Wow. Great customer service. We normally aren't those ppl that order for right before close, but we are moving away from the area and that would have been our last time there. Thanks for the great memory.

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer:
This place was awesome. Tons of awesome memorabilia all over and great food as well. They even had an Elaine Benes big salad on the menu from Seinfeld. A great place to go when you're downtown especially before or after an event.