Problem: This review is like what?

Review:I've read a few of the reviews and I'm kinda sad that a lot of the Story seems glossed over. Its easy to do because its not a Book, its a movie and there's only so much that can be done in a movie- US Or Canadian- or anywhere.

Colm Feore does, at least for a recovering "F@g-Hag" like myself, a great job of not only playing the 'friendly neighborhood' gay man- but playing sick. I mean, the man really can't get much more pale! Though, you might never know it from the strip down near the... um, end.

If you need decrepit, there are a few SKing movies you might like.

Being the daughter of a Recovering Alchoholic, the druggie brother {David Cubitt} was the trick for me. I'm going to give him cred, he grew up quick- and believe me that's good. And, as an Aspiring writer, moimeme, I can dig a lot of his insights and overviews. But I'm more prosy than poetic.

I may be easy to please, but I enjoyed it. A nice story pretty well put together- by Canadians, quelle surprise. Just toed the line of the 'Movie of the week,' missing it by not being as drawn out, GREATLY Appreciated. And it was rather cleverly portrayed.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Mel Torme and Victor Borge, in their younger years, serve to make this film interesting - and especially viewing a young Sinatra, on the sunny side of 30, and definitely conveying that this was his "yes, I'm a popular singer, but hardly an actor yet" stage. Michele Morgan is an annoying, inane presence, and Jack Haley is an actor whose appeal has always been totally lost on me. Leon Erroll is silly, as always, but overall pretty funny. 7 stars of a potential 10 is about the right "grade," because with the combination of its positive aspects, along with the lack of much of a story, and a silly one at that, and the fore-mentioned annoyances - it is overall average at best. Most of the fascination is from the viewing of the three entertainment icons in their early years.
+++++++++
A: positive

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:The name Uwe Boll is automatically linked to bad horror/cult cinema and every new movie he releases which is about two, three per year immediately always receives negative ratings and harsh criticism. You're actually almost tempted to think this is just a contemporary hype. You know, like it's popular to hate Uwe Boll whether you liked his movies or not. Let me just assure you that this is NOT the case. Uwe Boll is a terrible writer/director and quite frankly a menace to the entire film-making industry. "Seed" is another most unfortunate of proof that. In here, Boll tries so desperately hard to come across as controversial and shocking that he overlooks numerous other elements that any movie essentially needs to exist, like a plot, a narrative structure, character development, tension building "Seed" is a hideous movie, full of gratuitous filth and incompetent padding footage. I once read that "Seed" was Uwe Boll's interpretation of the nowadays popular horror trend of Torture Porn flicks, but that's not even close. The film inarguably does borrow some influences from "Saw" and "Hostel", but basically it's just another umpteenth dull slasher with an indestructible killer and video game violence.

The first 45 minutes of "Seed" are beyond boring and actually just confirm all the obvious things you already knew were going to happen. For you see, Boll was stupid enough to begin his film with a (hyper- fast) scrolling text explaining there's a federal US law claiming that death row prisoners have to be set free if three attempts to electrocute them fail. So you know this will happen later on, but still the first three quarters are wasted on catching a serial killer and bringing him to the electric chair. Seed is a mute serial killer who supposedly slaughtered 666 victims (exaggerate much?) who wears a bag over his head. He watches real-life animal cruelty footage (and thus WE watch real-life animal cruelty footage; thanks for that Mr. Boll) and videotapes people as the slowly decompose in their cellar (including a crying baby which is really sick and twisted). When he's finally captured, during the most amateurish and implausible police manhunt ever filmed, and put on death row, the film even becomes more retarded. After being buried alive because the electric chair couldn't fry him, Max Seed crawls back to the surface and goes on a brand new killing spree; this time mainly focusing on the people who arrested and executed him.

The senseless plot twists and complete lack of story depth of this movie go way past being just bad; they're downright infuriating and insulting the intelligence level of the average horror movie fanatic. Multiple twists and sub plot in "Seed" are simply impossible to accept by the reasonable functioning human mind because they're just too dumb! Nobody believes that cops and prison staff members will just bury a mass murderer alive without shooting a few bullets through his head first. Nobody will accept that a fugitive convict cannot be found for another six months even though he went straight back to the exact same hideout place where they first caught him! "Seed" is full of retarded little things like these and the movie gets dumber with each minute that passes. Personally, I refuse to accept that the cast & crew members didn't notice this as well. It really makes you think that Uwe Boll simply neglects all advice and criticism, and just stubbornly shoots his movies the way he wants to. I imagine his yelling stuff like "shut up and do as you are told" to his actors whenever they remark that the scene they're shooting doesn't make a lick of sense.

Just for the fun of upsetting people, there's a gigantically overlong sequence where Max Seed smashes an elderly lady to death with a hammer whilst she's tied up to a chair in the middle of her own living room. Instead of shocking, as Boll intended it to be, this sequence masterfully epitomizes how pathetic and wannabe controversial the whole film in fact is. "Seed" is horrendous, it's disgusting, it's pitiable, it's Boll.
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:A teenager who seems to have it all commits suicide. It leaves his family and his best friend (Keanu Reeves) asking a lot of questions...and blaming themselves.

Good idea, badly handled. For starters this HAS been done before 1988--mostly in TV movies and After School Specials. Aside from some swearing and dialogue (hence the PG-13 rating) this added nothing new. The outcome is predictable and Reeve's attempts at acting were truly painful to watch. He's good NOW but not in 1988. Aside from that his character was dressed like a slob and always looked so dirty is was hard to build up sympathy.

That aside the movie is dull. I saw every scene coming and every "surprise" was telegraphed. I basically couldn't wait for this thing to get over.

I have a vague recollection of seeing it in a theatre in 1988 and hating it (it bombed BADLY). It still looks lousy almost 20 years later. The subject is worth handling but it's been done better (with better acting) in countless other movies. "Ordinary People" comes to mind. You can skip this one.
+++++++++
A:
negative