input: Write a negative yelp review.
output: This coffee is absolute shit. I don't want to mince words here--this was simply awful. As I was walking to the library, I thought about my review--I was initially going to give it 2 stars, but as my walk wore on, I decided against it. Warning: This will be an irritated review. I walked into Espresso Royale and was immediately stuck waiting at the counter for several minutes as the barista changed milk jugs very, very slowly. Then, there was little customer service or niceness as this faux hipster gave me my cup of coffee. Look--it's okay to be a rude, pretentious hipster if your coffee is amazing--which is why Bradbury's is awesome--but Espresso Royale? The coffee was horrendous. Thin, watery and poorly balanced...this is some of the worst coffee I've tasted. Honestly, you'd be better off going to McDonald's or--dare I say--a gas station. At least the service will be halfway-decent. I will not be going back here--not for the crap service, and especially not for the coffee.
input: Write a positive yelp review.
output: This place has rapidly become THE place to get your swanky teas from, as well as a great place to meet friends for a catch-up. So much so, that more and more of the upmarket George Street bars and cafes are starting to serve it on their menus. It's tucked away in a basement plot on on the corner of Frederick Street and George Street, and at first glance it just looks like yet another slightly overpriced independent retailer catering for the New Townees. But once you step inside you realise that these people are genuinely passionate about all things tea-related, from the high wuality of their stock to the sheer range of it. I didn't know until I came here, for example, that there is such a thing as Blue Tea or Red Tea. White, Green and good old Black tea I knew about, but these guys really know their stuff. Yes, so it's a bit on the pricey side. But you have to treat yourself every once in a while, and you could do it in much worse places than here.
input: Write a negative yelp review.
output:
Typical crappy tourist-town service with only slightly above average tourist-town quality. I came for a late Monday lunch and was hoping to grab a patio table and do some people watching on the sidewalk. The cafe tables near the door didn't have waitress service and are right under some needlessly loud speakers. There were a handfull of tables in the enclosed patio area that just needed to be cleared. I waited a good 10 minutes for the tables to be cleared on a day that wasn't that busy. The only person cleaning tables was a super skinny waitress who clearly loathed the idea of clearing tables. Watching her apathy was one of the only highlights of the afternoon. The hostess was unapologetic. Eventually I asked her if the restaurant had busboys today. Her answer was apathetic, too. So I took one of the only open seats at the bar with my back to the street, and ordered. The food was only slightly better than the food you'll get at the average "ethnic" restaurant in a tourist town. The rice was surprisingly and confusingly garlic-ey. The beef burrito was meh, and tasted a little bit like freezer burn. It was shredded beef, not "steak " like the menu says. The Cadalic margarita was average. $18 for the burrito. $15 for the margarita. Why do I put up with this on-strip wallet abuse? The pretty and pierced bartender was friendly and helpful, but I got the feeling it was due to her own good personality, not training or expectations of the restaurant. Overall feeling: Pay (and save) $10 for a cab and use Yelp to find a Mexican restaurant elsewhere that cares about quality and service. And I hope the bartender finds a place that deserves her.