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You and your dad might be fighting because you both choose bad times to have serious discussions. Avoid hitting him with heavy topics as soon as he gets in from work, as he may want some downtime. Opt instead for right after dinner when he is not busy or on the weekend. If he wants to talk to you about something when you are stressed, ask him politely if you can talk in a few minutes instead. Use those few minutes to do something that relaxes you, like taking a shower. Parents appreciate when their kids show signs of maturity like confidence and directness. Let your dad know from the get-go what you need from him. Say "Dad, I want to talk to you about something. I just want you to listen for right now. I don't want advice, I just want someone to talk to." You can also say "There is a field trip coming up with school and it's overnight. Can I talk to you about that? I would really like to go. Please hear me out before you respond." Sometimes, you may not need to make a request of your dad, but instead confess something you did wrong or something that's been bothering you. In these cases, approach him with calmness and humility and with possible solutions. For instance, if you have recently gotten a speeding ticket, say "Dad, I did something bad today and I need to let you know. I was speeding on the way home and got a ticket. But I already talked to my supervisor and he said I can pick up extra shifts every weekend this month to pay for it." Mention to your dad that it bothers you when the two of you fight. Admit the part that you play in the fighting but also ask him what he needs from you. He might be stressed at work only to come home and find the dishes piled high and you playing video games. See if he needs more help at home or more respect in general. You can say "Dad, we've been fighting a lot lately and it really upsets me. I was wondering if there's anything that I can do to prevent this or anything that you need from me?" Let him know what you need from him, too. Say "Dad, I really want our relationship to improve. It's hard for me to come to you sometimes because I know you'll yell at me. Do you think that you could do that less?" You might feel that your dad is very unfair or even cruel to you. Remember that though you cannot control your father, you can control yourself. Even if he yells at you, don't yell back. Don't walk away, interrupt him, or yell. If you have done something wrong, apologize. If not, simply sit calmly until the fight is over. Breathe deeply during this process, in through your nose and out through your mouth. It's okay to show your emotions, but don't let them consume you or cause you to do things you'll regret. Once your father has decided something, honor that. If you do so, he will likely be more likely to trust you in the future. Do try to find ways to compromise, but know that it is his decision in the end. For example, you could say, "I really want to go to the party, but I will respect your decision." You could bargain and ask if he would be willing to let you stay out an hour later on Friday night if you wash his car and mow the lawn. If your father ever tells you to do something that is harmful or illegal, tell someone. Find an adult you trust like a teacher so that they can get you help. In most cases, fathers are only doing what they think is best for their children. When your father makes a decision that you don't agree with, consider his point of view. Even if you don't think he is right, it will help you to be able to understand. For instance, your dad might have you on a 10PM curfew, while your friends are allowed to stay out later. Your dad might be concerned about drunk drivers, drugs, or he may not trust your friends. You could say, "Could you explain your thinking about this so I can better understand and accept your decision?" It may help you find resolution with the issue. Then you might get on a bit better.
Choose a good time to talk. Communicate what you need. Defuse potentially difficult conversations. Ask him what you can improve on. Remain calm. Respect his decision. Understand his perspective.