Article: When you're in the heat of the fight or the stinging aftermath of a disagreement, it's difficult to see things as they are. You may start to see the person as "all bad" and that every action he or she takes is somehow an act of defiance against you. However, with some distance, you can start to see the situation (and the person) more clearly. Take a couple steps back and allow yourself to gain some perspective. You may realize you are being critical or harsh, or not taking responsibility for what you contribute. Reflect more on yourself than the other person. Are there things within you that you're unable to examine, such as guilt, shame, or fear? How do your shadows or demons contribute to your relationship? Without jumping back into the fight, talk about what feelings, situations, and other factors led to the poor communication. Specifically, talk about your feelings. What were you feeling before the fight? What about during the fight? Ask these questions to this person and discuss your feelings clearly and openly. You may have felt tired, lonely, hungry, or overwhelmed before the fight. Perhaps you were feeling stressed from work or school and carried the stress home with you. During the fight, you may have felt ignored, defensive, criticized, misunderstood, fearful, overwhelmed, ashamed, or unloved. Together with the person, ask what went missing in the fight. Was there a misunderstanding? Misperception? Poor communication? How did a discussion turn into a fight, or how did it stay a fight? Identify what set things off course. Think about how to communicate more clearly in the future, or not to jump to conclusions so quickly. What can you learn from the misdirection of this fight? Take a moment away from the specific subject of the fight and focus on validating each other's feelings. Listen intently when the person speaks. Avoid interrupting or jumping in with your opinion or perspective and instead, allow the person to complete each thought. Lower your defenses and open your heart. Talk about each of your perspectives of the situation, keeping in mind that there is no "wrong" perspective. For instance, the fight may have been about finances, but this person may have been triggered by a fear of not having enough money and lashed out. Instead of fighting about money, acknowledge your partner's fear and validate those feelings. Take ownership for what you contributed to the fight. Admit that you accused your partner, said something mean, or spoke before having all of the information. Admit if you've been emotionally closed off, running on empty, taking your stress out on this person, or taking the person for granted. Take responsibility for your words and actions without blaming. Say, "I know I contributed heavily to this fight. I've been working overtime at work which has caused me a lot of stress, and I've been taking out this stress on you. I haven't slept well in weeks, so I feel overly sensitive and irritable, and these feelings definitely contributed to the fight." Forgiveness is about freeing yourself and letting go of any resentments or hard feelings. When you hold onto resentment, it can have physical and emotional impacts that negatively impact your life. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or pretending that the situation didn't happen, it just means you're willing to let it go and move on.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Take some distance. Talk about the feelings involved. Identify the missing pieces. Validate each other. Accept responsibility. Forgive.
Article: While trying to send messages during a time of political turmoil, Mary, Queen of Scots, used symbols as a substitute code for English letters and common words. Some features of Mary's code you might find useful for your own crypto-education include: The use of simple shapes for high frequency letters, like Mary's use of a circle for the letter /A/. This saves time while encoding. Common symbols used as part of the new code language, like Mary's use of "8" as code for the letter "Y." These can confuse code breakers who might interpret this as a number and not a code symbol. Unique symbols for common words. In Mary's day, "pray" and "bearer" received unique symbols, but these were more common then than they are today. Still, using symbols for frequent words and phrases saves time and adds complexity. Code phrases can collapse a lot of meaning into a single phrase. Even many kinds of military alert, like the DEFCON system, are simply well-known codes for a state of defense readiness. Come up with suitable code words/phrases in your everyday life. For example, instead of saying "I've got to run to my locker" among your friends, you might use the code word "Sloppy." To let your friends know that the person you want to date has entered the room, you might say the code phrase, "My cousin Bruce likes hockey, too." Books are relatively easy to come by. If a book has been decided upon as the key to a code, when you receive a message you can go to a bookstore or library to look up the key to decode it. For example, you might decide on using Frank Herbert's Dune, with code numbers representing the page, line, and number word starting from the left. Encoded Message: 224.10.1; 187.15.1; 163.1.7; 309.4.4 Decoded Message: I'm hiding my words.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Employ the code used by Mary, Queen of Scots. Use code phrases similar to military alerts. Encode messages with a book key code.
Article: Feed your pet twice a day at regular times, or as recommended by your vet. Some dogs prefer eating later in the day. If the dog is healthy and energetic, but gets distracted before finishing, set his food down and walk away. Come back in a half hour and pick his dish up, even if he hasn't eaten all of his food. It won't take him long to realize he needs to eat when he has the chance. Have the dog play with a toy with food hidden inside. Teach your dog new tricks and offer healthy treats or food as a reward. To make the dog's food more palatable, you can stir in a few spoonfuls of canned dog food or pour a little warm water or broth over the top. Alternatively, use dog gravy. You can buy this from pet stores. These are just granules that you mix with dry food and warm water that can make the food far more tasty for the dog. If the dog still won't eat, try these variations. It may take a little time for your dog to adjust to the change, but they may help in the long run: Feed your dog away from other pets. Use a different bowl or place it at a more comfortable height. Feed directly on the floor instead of in a bowl. Some dogs get distracted by activity and have trouble focusing on their meal. Make sure your dog's food and water dishes are in a quiet spot where he can eat in peace. Try a different brand, or switch from dry food to wet food. Make the change gradually over a week: mix 1/4 new to 3/4 old for a few days, then half and half for a few days and so on. This will be much easier on his digestion. Changing a dog's brand of food suddenly can cause obnoxious gas and diarrhea. Make sure all food products are fresh and stored in a closed container to keep moisture and pests out. Check the expiration date on foods when you purchase them and check often when they are stored.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Feed at the same time every day. Make mealtime fun. Make the food tastier. Change your dog's feeding situation. Switch foods. Keep food fresh.