IN: Review: I have begun to melt so I will make this review as short and sweet as possible.

There's this astronaut, and he goes up in a spacecraft with two other guys, ya know? Except something happens that exposes him to radiation, and then when they come back...well, never mind what happened to the other guys, but our astronaut has begun to melt! No, not just burn up, but MELT! Like an ice cream cone in July! Well OK maybe not that fast, but ya know what I mean.

Anyway, he gets all red & gooey, and the fact that he's melting makes him really mad. I guess he also checked out the "melting man" handbook because suddenly he knows that in order to keep from totally melting away, he has to eat human flesh, so he starts ripping people apart.

There are other characters, but in a movie where a man melts and melts and melts (and melts), do you really need any others? What's important is WHO will he munch next, and WHAT will be left of them? HOW long will it take for him to just melt away to nothing? WHY was this movie made in the first place? WHERE did they get the money? WHEN will you fall asleep while watching it?

I've very nearly melted, but I still have enough time left to tell you that this movie is dreadfully boring, even though the idea is really cool and kind of gross. The makeup is neat but everything else is...SPLAT
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: This is certainly the worst movie i ever saw? The beginning is somewhat good, but the end? I still don't even get it! Magical power, 300 years later, goddess, dancing what the f*** is that about??? The acting is somewhat not so bad.. but some place I could do better for sure!
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: John Carpenter's Halloween

Is it the greatest horror film of all time? no .. maybe not to everyone, but to me it is and always will be. The film is sheer genius and will always hold a very special place in my heart.

It's unfortunate I didn't get to see this film until twenty years after it's release, but even twenty years later after so many slasher copy cats had come and gone the film still gave the same impact as it must have done then. My father suggested before I go see Halloween H20 that I whip out and rent Halloween's 1 and 2 to get the full story, and after watching Halloween it was quite clear that it defined and set the Slasher Genre.

The film's plot is simple, In 1963 Michael Audrey Myers killed his sister Judith in cold blood with a large butcher knife. Incarcerated for fifteen years where he was treated by Dr. Sam Loomis, he escapes and returns to his hometown of Haddonfield where he begins stalking three young girls: Laurie Strode an innocent bookworm, Annie Brackett a tough talking sarcastic and Lynda Van Der Klok a beautiful and sexually vigorous young girl. Dr. Loomis tracks Michael here where he enlists the help of the town Sheriff Leigh Brackett whom remains skeptical of his story about the psychotic killer. Michael watches the girls mercilessly and begins killing them off one by one, until only sweet innocent Laurie is left who is the prime target on Michael's list.

The casting of this film was brilliant and all the actors and actresses gave top notch performances, Jamie Lee Curtis was stunning in her first film role as Laurie Strode and Donald Pleasance gave a thrilling performance with his small role as Loomis. Nick Castle who portrays Michael did an outstanding job as the soulless and evil killer, and his walk and body movements were perfect.

One of the great highlights of this film is it's chilling score done by John Carpenter himself who created one of the most recognizable horror themes known today. The Blue Lighting was creepy and effective and one of the great moments in this film is when young Laurie is cowering against a wall after seeing her dead friends, and in the shadows behind her Michael's face materializes before he strikes. Michael's mask was one of the thing's that sent chills down my spine the most, the white emotionless face worked perfectly.

What makes this film so great is that it is not a gory film unlike the cheesy Friday The 13th films, in fact there is little blood in this film at all and works instead on suspense and tension.

It became so clear that Halloween spawned movies like Friday The 13th and characters like Jason Voorhees, whom he is a mere rip off of Michael Myers.

To sum it up, I suggest you see this film at least once in your life as it is a landmark in film making and is without a doubt if not the greatest then one of the greatest horror films of all time.
What is this review like?
OUT: positive

IN: Review: Difficult to call The Grudge a horror movie. At best it made me slightly jump from surprise at a couple of moments.

If one forgets the (failed) frightening dimension and looks at other sides of the movie, he is again disappointed. The acting is OK but not great. The story can be somewhat interesting at the beginning, while one is trying to get what's happening. But toward the end one understands there is not much to understand. "Scary" elements seems sometimes to have been added to the script without reason...

So... (yawn) See this movie it if you have nothing more interesting to do, like cutting the carrots or looking at the clouds.
What is this review like?
OUT:
negative