IN: Today my job sucked . I got mauled by kids ... literally . Those little shits are lucky I love them and my job so much . I must be crazy to put up with some of the shit I do and still come back for more .
Why do I keep a thankless job ?

OUT: My children are important to me .

IN: I am not trying to complain ... I am really happy that my husband is involved with our kids and that they have a great relationship , but sometimes I wish they thought I was as much fun as he was ! Why are Dads always the fun ones while Moms are the fun police ? Is it because women are actually innately more organised and naturally get burdened with the task of being the disciplinarian ? I have to say that most of the time my head is so full with trying to plan what kind of dinner to cook or remembering to organise a playdate with my new friend 's little girl etc .
What may be a plausible fact about me ?

OUT: I think different genders are innately different .

IN: She 's actually a border collie / boxer mix , although the boxer side is n't showing up much at this point . She 's scary smart , and she 's also determined that whither I goest , she will go . Her favorite spot to sleep is on top of my foot , particularly when I ' m trying to move around the kitchen to fix a meal .
Why does the dog sleep on her foot ?

OUT:
She likes to be touching her person .