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to help quiet your mind for at least a few minutes every day. Not only will meditation get you a clearer, more thoughtful, tuned-in mind, but it can help lower your cholesterol and blood pressure, too. Just 10-15 minutes each day can leave you feeling zoned and zenned for the next 24 hours. If you're not the meditating type, other activities can substitute for this feeling. Take a walk in your favorite local park, or just sit on a bench and read. Grab a journal and spend some time writing down your thoughts. Anything that's a bit of "me-time" will do the trick. Do people playfully tease you and tell you to take a hike? Perhaps you should tease them back and actually do it. Live in the moment by practicing such techniques as mindfulness and Zen driving. Contemplating the mysteries of science (the universe, quantum theory) can also be an intensely introspective experience. One way to shift focus (and be more observant, as mentioned above) is by keeping a journal. Commit to a daily writing practice and ask yourself questions like: What did I feel? Why? What did I learn today? Who did I learn from? What ideas arrived? Who or what did I think about today? How was today different than yesterday? Than last week? Than last year? What can I be grateful for? Who in our world seems lonely? Why? While there's no shame in asking for help, your quiet confidence will give you the strength to do it yourself, which in turn will make you more valuable to others. And when you do need to ask for help, your introspective nature will enable you to focus and to ask the right questions. When you can spend time alone with yourself doing quiet, thoughtful things, it'll be easier to do the same in larger groups. And you'll probably be surprised how much you enjoy it as well. You'll cultivate patience and nurture your inner world, as well as provide yourself with more conversation material when it's time to socialize. Try knitting, zen gardening or some other activity that doesn't require extraneous talking. Even just picking up a good book is a start. In her book What Do I Say Next?, Mingling Maven Susan RoAne writes, "Still waters run deep ... but they can also be shallow." If you're shallow, people will be glad you're shutting up, and you don't want that. You want to improve yourself and become someone that other people want to be around, even if you're not chatty. Also remember that quiet people can also do things loud people do. You can try singing, dancing, playing an instrument, etc. Remember to transition back to a quiet person when you're done. However, when your free time is spent being quiet, it'll be harder to make the transition into being louder in other situations, as quietude often sets the mood for your social interactions later. Imagine spending all day reading your favorite book, getting totally enveloped, and then going to a party. You'll probably still be off in book world, feeling naturally quieter and more introverted. Author Susan Cain says that "quiet is a catalyst for innovation." Being alone with your thoughts can be some of the most rewarding, productive time spent in your day. And you get to do exactly what you want to do. This will not only be quality time doing whatever you want, but you'll learn to be with just yourself and like it, too. This could be time spent perfecting your new hobby, writing in your journal, taking the dog for a walk, or going on a spontaneous trip to the grocery store. It's not important what you do, just that you do it. You'll learn that interactions with others don't make or break a good time. On the other hand, don't become a recluse, but do use your "alone time" to nurture your creativity. Surrounding yourself with bustling, gregarious, bubbly people will only make you more bustling, gregarious, and bubbly. To learn to appreciate friends on a lower key and sometimes even in silence, spend time with more introverted, naturally quieter people. You'll find that it's a completely new and different kind of fun. Quiet people often tend to hang out with quiet people, though this is not always the case. If you don't know that many quiet people, ask your quietest friend and meet their friends. Having a friend's support is often helpful, especially if they're already the quiet type (or trying to be). Alternatively, join more notoriously quiet activities try a book club or a cooking class to meet quieter individuals. Not only will this give you that much-needed time to talk about yourself, but you can also talk about why you feel you need to be quieter, and whether you demand other people's attention. Therapists aren't only for people who have mental disorders, but also for people who want to get in touch with themselves. If someone is making you feel like you're too loud, you can talk about that, too. You're probably just fine as you are, unless you feel it's a problem. Being comfortable in your natural personality is very important. At the end of the day, some people are just naturally louder than others. You don't have to be quieter you're probably just fine as you are. However, if you do feel compelled to change, only make changes that feel okay and genuine. If you want to speak up, do it. If you want to dance in the cafeteria, do it. All of us are dynamic individuals with more than one side to us. Maybe you just have a quiet side that comes out once in a while. If you genuinely do feel the need to be quieter, choose times when you feel this is the most important. At dinner with family? During class? Don't aim to be a quiet person; aim to be quieter in the right circumstances. There may be times when being loud is called for. . Maybe you can be completely silent for an hour. Then try three hours. If you can make it to a whole day, you might find yourself observing more around you that you never noticed before because you were too busy talking. A good time to begin such a "vow of silence" is after a procedure that causes pain in the mouth or head, such as braces adjustments, root canals, or even a minor bonk on the head. Don't hurt yourself, of course, but do look for inspiration to become a quiet person.
Meditate Keep a journal. Be self-reliant. Find a hobby. Spend more time alone. Spend time with more introverted friends. Consider seeing a therapist. Stay true to you. Take a "vow of silence" for a short period of time