Article: Mind and heart don't have to be mutually exclusive. That is, you can find ways to make them work together. Start with your values. The heart often speaks to a sense of deep-seated values that don't always get included in your rational thought process. The reconciliation starts here. You need to be able to identify what your deepest values are and let them guide your rational thought. Try to deconstruct your values, if you have never really thought about it before. How were you raised? Ask yourself what values your parents emphasized wealth, education, status, appearance? Were you rewarded for high achievement in school, for instance? How do you live now? You should be able to see how your values have shaped your life. Do you live in the city, the suburbs, or the country? What led you there? What do you do for a living? Someone who teaches probably values money less than someone who is a banker. On the other hand, a banker may put less importance on education than a teacher. What do you spend your money on? This more than anything else says a lot about what values drive your behavior. Do you spend money on cars? Travel? Clothing? Or perhaps the arts and charity? The aim of thinking in terms of your values is not to tame your rational mind, but to work with it. Since values usually lie behind your heart, you should try to harness them and use them within your rational thought process. Who should you marry? Where should you work? These are things that need rational consideration, but that should also align closely with your most cherished values. Gain as much information as you can about choices. What is the probable benefit of a decision? Will it be something you'll ever regret? Your rational mind and heart may be giving you conflicting thoughts about a decision, and you will need to seek out all possible detail and evaluate it. Identify problems: what might go wrong? Say that you are thinking of getting married and really want children. However, your girlfriend has said she isn't interested in having a family. While your rational mind may say that you love her, you should also listen to your heart and recognize that the importance you place on family does not align with her values. Explore options: think carefully about what's best for you. Sometimes, your first intuition will be right. However, at other times your heart needs to be balanced with a rational decision. One way to help you come to a good decision is to consider the problem in terms of your highest values. How do the possible solutions relate to your values? You may have to make a map of your values going from most important to least in order to see where they land in your personal hierarchy. Back to the problem of marriage. If family is a make-or-break issue for you, marrying someone who doesn't want children could be a disaster, even if you love her. But if you value close bonds with your partner more than having children, there might be room to negotiate. It seems strange, right? Thinking rationally about the heart? Just remember that the two are not contradictory. You only have to learn to listen to your heart and discover what lies behind it. Think carefully and let your values play a big role in decision-making, but do so rationally. Make choices that best serve your values and that prioritize the ones that are most important to you. Keep practicing. Eventually, you'll start to find personal power in your decisions and create a marriage of your heart and mind. By listening to your heart, you can train your mind to work in harmony with it.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Identify your core values. Think about decisions in terms of your values. Consider your highest values before deciding. Make a decision based on a rational look at your intuitive values.