Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Loud, obnoxious, and the only place I have ever seen where the wait for the men's restroom is twice as long as the women's. Not ideally walkable from most other uptown hotspots. The only saving grace, for me, is the $1 can beers. At best, a place to end the evening if you're already drunk or incredibly bored and haven't yet had your fill of crowded, loud places with long waits for the bathroom. If the latter is the case, however, you could also drop by the bus station. You just might have more fun.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: This place is much more than your average neighborhood Chinese restaurant. First off, it has live seafood, which is the hallmark of a real Cantonese restaurant. Fish maw, conpoy (dried scallops), steamed fresh fish, lobster, crab, these are serious delicacies! Everything I've had there since discovering it has been wonderful. I lived for two years in South China, and it's a serious treat to find a place with good food from there. Even stuff like their pu-pu platter is head and shoulders above anything else I've had in the valley, just because of the superior ingredients and cooking. The beef skewers are tender, succulent pieces of quality meat. The "chicken in paper" wrapped in foil is juicy and savory in that special Cantonese way. Their char siu is tender and delicious. Nothing is sickly sweet or soaked in oil. I want to eat everything on the menu. This place really is a gem. I don't know of anywhere even remotely on this side of town with real Chinese food like this.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
Gonna keep this really simple because I'm tired. Bad food. End of story!