Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer: I read the book and the book was fascinating.

This movie, it's direction, the screenplay, and the acting were totally insufferable. I cringed at the lack of a screenplay that could not follow the novel, a novel that has all the action, simplicity, and courage to illustrate a temerity of a great possibly fact based story.

I can see why this movie was not released to the general public in most cities. Would not ever recommend this film to anyone I know.

Simply, one of he worst adaptations I have seen transformed into a plot less exploration of heaven on earth.

The cinematography was indeed the only highlight. But, how could that fail when filmed in an beautiful country such as Peru.

To prospective viewers, do not waste your time or energy on this flop.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Today actresses happily gain weight, dye their hair, dress like slobs, and lose their glamor for a role, and Bette Davis was probably the actress who started the trend. Even as a pretty young woman who occasionally wore designer clothes and Constance Bennett-type makeup in films, Davis was willing to ravage herself in order to create a character on the outside as well as the inside.

Her determination is amply demonstrated here in her breakout film, "Of Human Bondage," in which she stars with Leslie Howard as Philip Carey. Davis plays Mildred, a slutty, manipulative, greedy low-life to Howard's masochistic, club-footed Philip. He first meets her when she's a waitress, and she allows him to take her out to dinner and theater while she frolics with a wealthy older man (Alan Hale Sr.). In truth, Mildred is repulsed by Philip's club foot. On his part, Philip seems to enjoy the abuse of her open flirtation and her coolness toward him. He allows Mildred to bleed him dry financially in between boyfriends who drop her when they tire of her, while he blows off a couple of truly lovely women (Kay Johnson and Frances Dee). When he gets the gumption to throw her out, Mildred trashes his apartment and robs him, forcing him to withdraw from medical school and lose his lodgings.

"Of Human Bondage" looks rather stilted today in parts. Though Leslie Howard was a wonderful actor and attractive, his acting style is of a more formal old school, and as a result, he tends to date whatever he's in. He shines in material like his role opposite Davis in "It's Love I'm After" or "The Petrified Forest" which call for his kind of technique. His dated acting is even more obvious here because Davis was forging new ground with a gritty, edgy performance that would really make her name. If she seems at times over the top, she came from the stage, and the subtleties of film acting would emerge later for her. Contrast this performance with the restraint, warmth and gentleness of her Henriette in "All This, and Heaven Too" or the pathos she brought to "Dark Victory." She was a true actress and a true artist. Davis really allows herself to look like holy hell; Mildred's deterioration is absolutely pathetic as Philip seems to gain strength as her spirit fades.

An excellent film in which to see the burgeoning of one of film's greatest stars.

Problem: Write a positive movie review.

Answer: Kubrick proved his brilliantness again, now in a suspense-horror film based on Stephen King's book titled the same way. Jack Torrance is a man in his forties, married, with one child, and with a past of trouble and alcoholism. The Overlook Hotel in Colorado suspends service during the winter because of its extreme weather, and there is a well-paid job for the person who takes care of the facilities during those five months; and Torrance, who was looking to become a writer, found it perfect. But, the manager advised Torrance about the loneliness in this place during the winter, potentially dangerous, and told him that some caretaker in the past went crazy and murdered his family. Even before they got there, his son Danny, who has some sort of imaginary friend who illuminates him the future (shinning), knew the place wasn't good and didn't want to go. Once they installed themselves in the hotel, things started right but within a month, Jack began acting strange, irritated, and depressed. At this point, we know something is going to happen, but don't know when and how. Scary things happen such as the appearance of two twin girls talking to Danny, and someone who attacked him violently. They are not alone in this place. Later on, Jack started to see other people and immediately felt good with them, like if they were his family; among them the famous psychotic caretaker, Delbert Grady. Grady tells Torrance that he must kill his family because they are "intruders" in the hotel. Obeying this order, Jack went for the objective and many of the most scary things I've ever seen happen here. The ending is spectacular and the viewers will stay interested and shocked until the last minute.

Problem: Write a negative movie review.

Answer:
I'm not a stage purist. A movie could have been made of this play, and it would almost necessarily require changes... comme ci, comme ca. But the modest conceits of this material are lost or misunderstood by the movie's creators who are in full-on "shallow blockbuster" mode. It would be hard to imagine a worse director. Perhaps only Josh Logan & Jack Warner could have ruined this in the same way Attenborough did.

Onstage A Chorus line was a triumph of workshopping as a production method. Dancers answering a casting call found themselves sitting around shooting the crap about their stage-career experiences (very 70s!). Then Bennett and Hamlisch took some time, handed them a song and cast them as themselves. ...astonishing! Unbelievably modern. The 'story'of ACL is (in turn) about answering a casting call for a play we never have a complete view of, because the play doesn't matter. It was meta before the idea was invented, 25 years before Adaptation noodled with a similar idea. ACL was also another in a reductivist trend that is still alive, & which is a hallmark of modern creativity: that technique itself is compelling... that there's more drama in an average person's life than you could ever synthesize with invented characters. What a gracious idea. The stage play had one performance area (an empty stage) and three different ways to alter the backdrop, to alleviate visual tedium, not to keep viewers distracted. The space recedes and the actors stories are spotlighted. It worked just fine. That was the point. All these ideas are trampled or bastardized. Set-wise, there wasn't one, and no costumes either until the the dancers came out for their final bows, in which the exhilarating "One" is finally, powerfully, performed in full (gold) top hats and tails, with moves we recognize because we've watched them in practice sessions. The pent-up anxiety of the play is released --- and audiences went nuts.

After Grampa manhandles this, it's like a mushed, strangled bird. He clearly has the earlier, respected All that Jazz (and Fosse's stage piece Dancin') in mind as he makes his choices. Hamlisch's score was edgy & interesting for it's time, but time has not been kind to it. It's as schmaltzy as "jazz hands." And that's before Attenborough ever touches it. He's remarkable at finding whatever good was left, and mangling it.

A simple question might have helped Attenborough while filming this, "Could I bear spending even a few minutes with people like these?" A major issue for any adaptation of the play is how the 4th wall of theater (pivotal by it's absence in theater) would be addressed in the film format. There's never been a more "frontal" play. The answer they came up with was, "I'm sorry.. what was the question?" The cast has been augmented from a manageable number of unique narratives, to a crowd suffocating each other and the audience, and blending their grating selves together. I was well past my annoyance threshold when that annoying little runt swings across the stage on a rope, clowning at the (absent) audience. The play made you understand theater people. This movie just makes you want to choke them.

Perhaps Broadways annoying trend of characters walking directly to stage center and singing their stories at the audience (Les Miz, Miss Saigon) instead of relating to other characters started here. But the worst imaginable revival of the play will make you feel more alive than this movie.

A Chorus Line is pure schlock.