Problem: Article: Spend some time in front of a mirror going through your toast in advance. If you will be speaking in front of a larger audience, try your toast out before a few of guests in advance. Watch for their reactions as you speak to know what you need to keep and what you should cut. Practicing will also help you to learn to moderate the volume of your voice. Nothing is worse than a mumbled or inaudible toast. If you practice your toast enough, you will eventually be able to set aside your notes and speak directly from memory. You should anticipate speaking about 100 words per minute in a standard toast. If you mess up a part during the actual event, keep going as if nothing happened and (most likely) no one will know the difference. If necessary, you can use note cards while giving the toast. Remember to look up and make eye contact with the audience, though! Don't be the speaker who opens their toast by apologizing for what they don't know or what they won't say. This sets a poor tone for the whole thing. Instead, be confident and seize the moment. Tell the audience what you do know and why that matters. Instead of saying, "I don't know Jerry very well, but here goes nothing," you might try, "Those times when Jerry and I can hang out are action-packed and adventure-filled." It can be really tempting to use your toast as an opportunity to show everyone how close you are with the toastee. However, this can backfire and make your audience feel less connected to what you are saying. Instead, try to bring everyone together by relating stories that touch on subjects that all people can relate to like friendship, love, or family. However, it is acceptable to share an inside story, as long as it portrays the person you are toasting in a positive way. Just be sure to explain enough so that everyone understands the joke. If you are nervous, take a few deep calming breaths before standing up to speak. Repeat to yourself, "I can do this," and then do it. Resist the urge to use alcohol to relax beforehand and this can have horrible consequences when public speaking.
Summary: Practice. Memorize it. Omit any apologies. Delete the inside jokes. Try to relax.

Problem: Article: The first paragraph of a friendly letter is usually warm and lighthearted. It's a way to set the tone of the letter, letting the recipient know that what's to follow will be more friendly than businesslike or serious. Use the first few lines to say an extended hello, tell a joke, or reference the season. "How are you doing?" or "How have you been?" are common ways to start a letter. Asking a question helps make the letter feel like part of a longer conversation. If you'd like a reply to your letter, feel free to pepper it with questions throughout. You can use the first paragraph to inquire more deeply about the recipient's life. For example, "I hope little Julie has been enjoying kindergarten. I can't believe she's gotten so big!" Referencing the time of year is another common letter opening. Think of it as the equivalent to making small talk before you launch into a deeper conversation. For example, "I hope you've been having a wonderful fall. The trees in my neighborhood are more brilliant than they've ever been before. I think we're in for a cold winter, though." Now it's time to get to the meat of the letter, your purpose for writing it. Why are you opening this correspondence? Do you want to get back in touch with a long lost friend, express to someone that you are missing them, or thank them for helping you out in some way? Be forthright, open, and articulate to communicate your message effectively. Write about what's happening in your life. No matter what it says, your letter will probably be appreciated, but the recipient will feel much closer to you (and therefore the letter will be more effective) if it's revealing. Tell what events have occurred, what emotions you've felt, and what plans you have for the future. Don't create an airbrushed picture of your life; that defeats the purpose of a friendly letter. Avoid a holiday newsletter-style update; your friend will start skimming to the bottom if you just list everything you've accomplished since your last letter. You don't have to go too deep into your troubles, but try to portray your life realistically. What was your friend up to last time you talked? Was she on the verge of breaking up with her boyfriend? Was he in the middle of a difficult season on the soccer team? Follow up by making references and asking questions to show you're interested in your friend's life. You can also discuss topics of mutual interest. Write your thoughts on art, politics, current events, or any other subject that you'd discuss with your friend in person. Consider suggesting movies you've seen that you think your friend would like, or books you've read that you want to recommend. Sharing good information is always welcome in letters.
Summary: Begin with some pleasantries. Share news and personal details. Reference topics that are relevant to your friend.

Problem: Article: If you don't want to go over alone, have a friend help you. This can also be useful if you left any big items, like electronics, at your ex's place. If you had an extremely messy breakup, a trusted friend can even agree to retrieve items for you. Make sure you pick the right friend to help. A friend who's prone to drama may be tempted to start a fight with your ex. Instead, opt for a friend who's generally cool and composed, even in stressful situations. If your ex is giving you a really hard time about retrieving your stuff, contact a friend or family member of your ex that you are on good terms with. They may be willing to help you. If your ex is present when you're over, it's best to minimize conversation. If you want to be pleasant, stick to small talk and simple questions rather than bringing up any major issues. For example, ask, "How's work?" or make a comment on the weather. Avoid open questions and topics that could yield negative answers. Asking "How have you been?", for example, may lead your ex to talk about their difficulty with the breakup. They also may pretend to be fine to hurt your feelings. It can be hard to let go, and you may be tempted to linger at your ex's place and make a lengthy goodbye. Focus on the fact you're there to get your stuff and not address any lingering issues with your ex. As soon as you get through the door, start gathering your things and leave as soon as you finish. If you want to say a goodbye before you go, keep it brief. Now is not the time to drag up lingering resentments or talk over the relationship. Say something like, "I'm going to take off now. I hope you're doing okay." If the two of you lived together, or if you simply left a lot at their place, you may have to make more trips. Grab the absolute essentials, like clothing, on the first trip. Then, before leaving, talk over when you can come back to get the rest of your stuff. You want to keep things as uncomplicated as possible, and physical contact after a breakup can get confusing. Avoid things like a prolonged hug hello or goodbye. If your ex offers a hug or another form of contact, keep it as brief as possible.
Summary:
Enlist the help of a friend. Make small talk, if necessary. Try not to linger. Make more trips, if necessary. Keep physical contact to a minimum.