input: Write a negative yelp review (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive).
output: [Note: This relates to a visit in January of 2005, but I doubt anything's changed much - updates welcomed.]

Ok, maybe I'm a contrarian, maybe this cr*p is the standard situation at lots of nightclubs, and maybe this was just a bad night - but I'd had people falling all over themselves telling me how great "Ghost Bar" at the top of Palms was, so I and my friend went with our girlfriends on a Friday night to check it out. First mistake.

We quickly discovered that Palms hotel divides its potential customers into two groups: "VIPs" - i.e., those willing to fork over an obscene amount of cash to a greasy-haired security punk; and The Cattle. The Very Important Wallets waited in a crowd of 50 or 60 in front of an elevator at the side of the casino floor. Every fifteen minutes or so the elevator doors would open and three or four Very Important Wallets would disappear within. A question to the aforementioned greasy punk revealed that he expected a "tip" of fifty dollars - that's $50.00 **per person** - to gain the privilege of standing in this Very Important crowd. He was, moreover, kind enough to inform us that he had a clone waiting at the top of the elevator at the entrance to the bar itself, and that Greaseball 2 would also be expecting an additional $50.00 from us, per person, in order to actually get in. So we were looking at a total of $200.00 per couple just to get into this joint.

Folks, call me odd, but where I come from this is called "a shakedown."

Thoroughly disgusted, we took the other option: The Cattle Pen. This was a line of people corralled a few yards away between a couple of those rope barriers you see at movie theaters, about 20 or 30 deep, each of them there on the assumption that, though slower than the "VIW" line, it would actually move at some point. Second mistake. After an hour it had remained absolutely inert. After another half-hour of continued mind-numbing catatonia we had come to the conclusion that no nightclub "experience" was going to tip the scales against the dull, degrading scam that had been thrown in our faces thus far - so we turned 180 and walked. This was not before we were given, as a small mitigating perk while we waited, a free Floor Show - consisting of a sloppy drunk emerging from the elevator, passing out cold on the carpet, then being revived and carted away on a stretcher by paramedics. A real class joint, this Palms Ghost Bar.

So we drove across Flamingo Road, went up to the Voodoo Lounge atop the Rio hotel, where we were utterly blown away not just by the panoramic open-air views of the city from the two dance terraces, but also by the civilized staff and admissions policy. Reasonably respectable clothes and a modest cover charge - $20 a couple if I remember correctly - and about five minutes in line, and we were stompin' on dance floors surrounded by Vegas' single greatest panoramic city view.

Frankly I will never care what Ghost Bar has to offer and, barring a major change of the Palms' ownership and entire management staff, I'll never waste my time, money and generally even temperment trying to find out. I'll just leave this here as a warning to those who similarly value their time, money and basic human dignity. Judging from what others have said about the Palms Ghost Bar, what you get for hours of self-abasement and wallet-emptying is a standard DJ bar that's crowded as hell and has a gimmicky see-through floor in one section. Zowie.
input: Write a negative yelp review (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive).
output: First of all, this place is a hole in the wall behind a liquor store or some type of stop and shop establishment. If you walk in to a salon and it's empty.. that is the first clue to RUN!! The place is outdated, old, and the employees are incompetent and rude. I can not make a review on the "work" offered there, as thank God, I left before anything could be done to my hair- but judging by the ONE customer that was sitting on a chair.. it can't be better than one doing their own hair. I arrived 5 minutes late to my appointment, because this place is almost impossible to locate.. There were only 2 stylists there, one already had someone in her chair, which she probably already been working on for a while. I sat there for 20 minutes before anyone followed up with me. The scary looking hair dresser told me that it would be another 5-10 minutes, clearly, by looking at the other client's hair, it was going to be more like 30 minutes. I told her that I had a 4 p.m. appointment, she then proceeded to be defensive and lacked any customer service, when she stated that I had just arrived (lie)- I told her, no, I had been sitting there for 20 minutes and added that even if I had arrived at 4 p.m., she already had a client in her chair. Both stylists started literally arguing with me and told me that they did not need my business, clearly they did, as once again, I was the only soul there (besides the poor victim in the stylist's chair). I gladly got up and left. I purchased a groupon, which they reedemed as soon as I got there (unusual and another sign). When I asked about it, they told me that I had not paid them anything and to take it up with Groupon.. NIce!!! wouldn't step a foot in there even if they paid me. Whoever gave them 5 stars, probably works there. This day in age, customer service is everything and if an establishment is empty and looks like it's circa 1980... turn around and leave!
input: Write a negative yelp review (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive).
output:
Strike number three for Five Guys. No longer in my rotation. Take a seat on the bench. I'm pretty sure I can't come up with anymore baseball euphemisms... but it doesn't matter because I simply do not like these burgers and fries. I've wavered about Five Guys and I stayed away for a long time. This afternoon I was in the area and decided, hey I'll try it again. Well I might as well have just gone to Chipotle since my gut was telling me to. This go round I ordered the Cajun fries, which come with a Cajun seasoning. It does have a kick, but to say these are amazing? No way. I was feeling pretty hungry so I went with the "Cheeseburger" (two patties) and I just can't say it's that good. I think it may be the way they wrap the damn thing up so tight. It makes the burger become super soggy super fast. I just feel like I'm eating a mooshed up wanna-be burger. I'm sorry, I feel as though I shouldn't be bashing them this bad, but I'm just so disappointed. And overall the price just does not reflect these burgers. $11 is too much for a combo meal I don't care how many fries you over-fill my bag with.