Problem: BODY: Like most people, I heard on the news that the auction is done and that the winner is UBS. I have not received confirmation of this from my management. As soon as I hear anything official I will call a floor meeting to share what I know. If I hear nothing official by 2 PM I'll hold a floor meeting at that time to share what I know (or perhaps don't know). I am hopeful that we will have information within a couple of hours. Stay tuned. Tim
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A: SUBJECT: Update

Problem: BODY: STOCK MARKET BOTTOM CONFIRMED Last week's price rise confirmed a 20-week cycle bottom, seasonal bottom, and 2-year cycle bottom... And prices are likely to drop into a 20-day trading cycle bottom this week, giving you a low-risk opportunity to buy into this market. WHEN WILL THIS CYCLE TOP AND AT WHAT PRICE LEVEL? To view charts and hear an audio file of Walter Bressert's time and price objectives for the next three months...and histime and price levels to buy the upcoming daily trading cycle bottom.
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A: SUBJECT: WALTER BRESSERT'S TIME AND PRICE OBJECTIVES FOR THE S&P 500 JUST PUBLISHED TO THE WEBSITE

Problem: BODY: >> > A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she >> > selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package >> of bacon. >> > As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check >> > out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items >> in front of the cashier. > > He said, "You must be single." The woman, a bit startled, looked >> at her four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual >> > about her selections said, "Well, y'know, that's right. But how in >> earth did you know that? >> > The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n shit."
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A:
SUBJECT: funny