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All friends and all friendships are different. A lot of how you're feeling about your friends will be a knee-jerk, gut-decision. If you feel like someone really cares about you, and you feel confident that they're a friend, it's probably because they are. If you even have to wonder, it's probably a sign that they're not. Ask yourself the test questions, even if you're not sure of the answers, and go with your gut: Would your friend pick you up from the airport at midnight, if you needed it? Would your friend sit through a boring Sunday dinner with your grandparents, just to be a good friend and hang out afterwards? Would your friend be able to celebrate with you, if you won something and she didn't? Friends should be around to help hold you up and celebrate the good times with you, and to help get you through the bad times. Anyone who doesn't support you emotionally isn't a friend. Someone is your friend if they: Compliment you sincerely Talk favorably about you to others Seem genuinely excited when you succeed Empathize with you, when you're having a tough time Friendship shouldn't be based on superficial or external things. If someone wants to be your friend because of your car, because of your pool, or because you're the "cool" kid in school, they're not your friend. Friends need to support you for who you are as a person. Someone is your friend if they: Don't pressure you to do things you don't want to do Don't judge you for opening up Don't embarrass you, and aren't embarrassed by you Act the same way around you as around other people Don't make demands of you Friendships aren't all laughs. Good friends are willing to have your best interest in mind, especially if you're the one making the mistake. This can get tricky, because you want friends who will accept you, but also friends who know when you're slipping, and are willing to help you out. Someone is your friend if they: Politely disagree with you Don't attack you personally Have your best interest at heart Know what you want and what you need If your friend always seems distracted when you're together, or like they'd rather be elsewhere, hanging out with other people, that's not a great sign. This can happen to old friends, who you might have known for a long time. But sometimes, something can suddenly change, and the relationship isn't what it once was. Someone is your friend if they: Stay in touch, even if you're both changing Make your friendship a priority Want to hear about the details of your life Remember past conversations you've had Friendships aren't always rosy, but they shouldn't have to feel like work. If you dread the idea of hanging out with someone, or if they seem to resent having to hang out with you, it's probably not a functional friendship anymore. Someone is your friend if they: Are easy to hang out with Make you feel relaxed Don't add to your stress Don't cause "drama" Unless you're being a real jerk, if you mess up, your friends should forgive you when you apologize sincerely. Friends should be willing to look past what might be minor shortcomings and slip-ups, if they really know you and have your best interest at heart. Someone is your friend if they: Accept your apologies Forgive your failures Don't expect you to be someone you're not Don't dig up dirt from the past . If you want to attract good friends, make sure you're being a good friend in turn. It's not enough to expect that all your friends are going to surround you, support you, and listen when you have to talk. If you're not going to bother returning the kindness and the generosity that friendship requires, then go back up through this list and do the same things for your friends that you expect of them. You can then be confident that your friends are real, true, and lasting.
Listen to your gut. Keep friends who support you. Keep friends who accept you for who you are. Keep friends who stand up to you when you're wrong. Keep friends who listen. Keep friends who are pleasurable to be around. Keep friends who are forgiving. Be a good friend