IN: I arrived at the Crown at 1 am bleary eyed and for some reason they confused my surname with Elizabeth and I am convinced they were going to put me in Shannon 's room ! I woke my wife Ellen up the next morning with a declaration of " Hey ! Where 's Shannon Elizabeth and how in hell did you get here ! "
Why were you convinced they were going to put you in Shannon 's room ?

OUT: I was convinced they were going to put me in Shannon 's room because because they got me and Elizabeth 's name mixed up .

IN: Man did he look cute . After all the cool presents , I did not think the day could get much cooler , but it did . We took William all around town with us , just hanging out as a family .
What will the narrator do to the man they see ?

OUT: The narrator will flirt .

IN: I have inherited a not so wonderful gene from my father , along with the ' we do n't know what eye color you have , so just call it hazel gene ' , and that is the mole gene . The mole gene blesses you with really cute beauty marks when you are born and in the first few years of life . And then you get some larger beauty marks that are n't so beautiful . These are moles .
Why are larger beauty marks no beautiful ?

OUT:
They are moles .