Problem: Write a positive (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer: The quote I used for my summary occurs about halfway through THE GOOD EARTH, as a captain of a Chinese revolutionary army (played by Philip Ahn) apologizes to a mob for not having time to shoot MORE of the looters among them, as his unit has just been called back to the front lines. Of course, the next looter about to be found out and shot is the main character of the film, the former kitchen slave girl O-Lan (for whose portrayal Luise Rainer, now 99-years-old, won her second consecutive best actress Oscar).

The next scene finds O-Lan dutifully delivering her bag of looted jewels to her under-appreciative husband, farmer Wang Lung (Paul Muni), setting in motion that classic dichotomy of a man's upward financial mobility being the direct inverse of his moral decline.

For a movie dealing with subject matter including slavery, false accusations, misogyny, starvation, home invasion, eating family pets, mental retardation, infanticide, exploited refugees, riots, civil war, summary mass street executions, bigamy, child-beating, adultery, incest, and insect plagues of biblical proportions, THE GOOD EARTH is a surprisingly heart-warming movie.

My parting thought is in the form of another classic quote, from O-Lan herself (while putting the precious soup bone her son has just admitted stealing from an old woman back into the cooking pot after husband Wang Lung had angrily tossed it to the dirt floor on the other side of their hut): "Meat is meat."

Problem: Write a positive (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer: I'm not entirely sure Rob Schmidt qualifies as a "Master" in the genre of horror, since he previously just directed one horror film called "Wrong Turn" and that one was actually just was slightly above mediocre, but fact is that he made with "Right to Die" one of the best and creepiest episodes of the entire second season of the "Masters of Horror" franchise. There was a similar underdog story in season one, when William Malone made on of the best episodes with "The Fair Haired Child" even though his other long feature films "Fear Dot Com" and "House on Haunted Hill" sucked pretty badly.

The story of "Right to Die" cleverly picks in on the nowadays piping hot social debate of euthanasia, but thankfully also features multiple old-fashioned horror themes like ghostly vengeance, murderous conspiracies, pitch black humor and comic book styled violence. Whilst driving home late one night and discussing the husband's continuous adultery, the Addison couple are involved in a terrible car accident. Cliff walks away from the wreck unharmed but his wife Abby is fully burned and needs to be kept alive artificially. Whilst Cliff and his sleazy attorney (Corbin Bernsen of "The Dentist") want to plug the plug on her and sue the car constructor, Abbey's mum sets up a giant media campaign to keep her daughter alive as a vegetable and blame everything on Cliff. Meanwhile Abbey's hateful spirit comes back for revenge and kills someone in Cliff's surrounding whenever she has a near fatal experience with the medical devices. After a few victims, Cliff realizes it might be safer for him to keep his wife alive if he wants to remain alive as well. "Right to Die" is a stupendous episode and exactly the type of stuff I always hoped to see from a TV-series concept like "Masters of Horror". It's violent and gory with a sick & twisted sense of humor and loads of sleaze sequences. The euthanasia theme and the whole obligatory media circus that surrounds it is processed into the script very well, yet without unnecessarily reverting to political standpoints or morality lessons. The atmosphere is suspenseful and the killing sequences are suitably nasty and unsettling. Actresses Julia Anderson and Robin Sydney both have pretty face and impressively voluptuous racks, which is always a welcome plus, and Corbin Bernsen is finally offered the chance again to depict a mean-spirited and egocentric bastard. Great "MoH" episode; definitely one of the highlights of both seasons.

Problem: Write a negative (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer: I had the good fortune of reading the book before seeing the movie. It was an epic of adolescence, a dream of summers gone, a great potential indie film or big budget drama. It somehow got into the hands of a hack, who clearly took notes watching Boogie Nights and Rushmore without actually learning anything at all. The script loses the meat of the book in favor of forced emotional notes and low brow gags. I feel sorry for the actors, since the characters in the book were rich and textured, but cut down to embarrassing charactures in the film. Mason Gamble is great when given the opportunity, as is Dylan Baker, but the skeleton that remains of the story plays out like a bad after school special. Poor people = GOOD, Rich people = BAD.

Though it's almost worth watching to see the Southern California beach where Gary Sinise parks his trailer which is meant to pass for a bay in Delaware.

It's a good book, but an embarrassing turn for first time director Mills Goodloe.

K.

Problem: Write a negative (OPTIONS:
- negative
- positive) movie review.

Answer:
this movie had more holes than a piece of swiss cheese. Ben Affleck was seriously NOT trying to act in any way, shape, or form. He outright sucked. Nothing about the movie was believable. The first problems were in the intro- where the man gives everything of value to the Salvation Army Santa Claus but it doesn't show why. And then the granny sticks her head in the oven- really beautiful, and has absolutely nothing to do with the movie- it's not even in the same tone as the movie. There was no explanation of the motivation for Ben Affleck to choose the house he chose; there was not any believable reactions by the family he chose; and people are swayed here and there without any cause to be swayed (Example: Christina Applegate and Ben Affleck's characters go tobogganing down a steep slope- this is the incident that makes her suddenly fall in love with him. Riiiight...) Anyway, there was a funny moment or two- but they were a rarity in the movie. It seriously needed another rewrite (or 4). Hope you enjoy!