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Don't whip yourself into a frenzy of self-pity and internal loathing. Media images of the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle, the perfect job and the like are targeted at making us all feel "less than." You can choose whether or not to entertain these thoughts. Stop comparing yourself to others. The moment you compare yourself with others, you reduce your own unique worth. You have talents, abilities and foibles that are unique to you. Own them and help them to either shine or disappear, as needed. The comparison is for prices, not people. Stop thinking that you aren't equipped to handle a situation or thinking everything always goes wrong regardless. Thinking this way actively undermines your functioning. Instead, replace thoughts like these with logic, and try to find a solution to your situation. Because you'll probably be wrong about the outcome! When we start thinking, "Oh God, so and so is going to do this if I do this," it's all too easy to start freaking out. If you don't concern yourself with the consequences, there's no fear or worry. Simply act on your gut. You can't predict the future, so why try? Think of your life and what's going on around you like a movie. Rise above what is happening and pretend you're observing somebody else, not yourself. This action allows you to objectively interpret a situation without involving your emotions. Imagine that you're looking at the situation as an outsider, with no prior knowledge of the subject matter and no emotional involvement. With dissociation, you don't allow yourself to be subjective; instead, you remain objective, like a doctor treating a patient. In neuro-linguistic programming, this technique is called "reframing." Be careful with dissociation because it comes with inherent risks. Dissociating too often can lead to unhealthy results in your mind and your personality if you're not careful. Only dissociate on a situation-by-situation basis, not as your ultimate response to every difficult situation. Sometimes you need to face certain things head on instead of dissociating. Rather than assuming things based on fear, anger or similar emotional reactions, work purely with facts. Logic often combats out-of-control emotions and allows you to see the reality in any situation. After all, reality is outside your head -- not your interpretation of it. If you're afraid you won't do well in a job interview, remind yourself of the facts. First, you wouldn't have gotten an interview if you didn't have the qualifications. Second, if you don't get the job, you may not be a good fit for the company, but it doesn't mean you aren't a good candidate. Staying logical in an emotional crisis allows us to take well-established mental shortcuts instead of thinking things through more substantially. When you're used to reacting emotionally to difficult situations, you have to retrain your mind to think logically. Once in a while, they come in handy. We have them for a reason -- if they weren't useful, we wouldn't have evolved them. In fact, studies show that when we go off our gut, sometimes (usually when we're low on energy) we make better decisions. So if you're feeling something, determine if it's valid. If it is, you may want to stick with it. If it's not valid, throw it out the window. Defenestrate it. If it's paranoid, neurotic, worrisome, fearful, or nauseating, let it go. It's just that voice in your head that's there to drive you batty. If it is valid (grief, for example, is a negative emotion that's valid), acknowledge it. You cannot let it go until you do so. Accept that you had the thought and let it pass. It will get replaced by another in time.
Banish self-sabotaging thoughts. Don't anticipate the future. Dissociate from the situation. Think logically. Know emotions have their place.