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Your request should be polite and respectful, but there's no need to be extremely formal. Your enthusiasm for the job should be clear. Open your email by addressing your boss as you normally would (e.g., "Hi, Mary"). Your boss should be able to understand what you are asking for right off the bat. Give your email a subject line that clearly addresses what the message is about. Summarize your request in the opening paragraph. For example, give your email a subject line like "Requesting Salary Adjustment." Your opening paragraph could be something like: "I have been working hard over the past two years to make valuable contributions to the company. In light of everything I have accomplished, I would like to request a raise to $35,200 per year. This is in line with current average salaries for editorial assistants working in the academic publishing industry in the Chicago area." To justify a raise, you will have to emphasize anything you've done that goes above and beyond your job description. Using very specific numbers and giving precise details about the things you've done will strengthen your case. Your request should be as positive as possible. Don't complain about how hard you are working for so little pay, or about how long it has been since your last raise. Also avoid implying or outright stating that you will leave if you don't get what you want. Instead, focus on your accomplishments. Demonstrate your enthusiasm for the work, and your desire to continue contributing to the company in a positive way. End with a paragraph reiterating why you feel you deserve the raise. Re-state your request for your target salary. You could end with something like, "Given my positive contributions to the company over the past two years, I believe that $35,200 per year would be appropriate for someone with my qualifications and experience. I look forward to discussing this with you, and welcome any feedback you may have about how I can improve my performance even further." Thank your boss for their time and consideration. Close your email in a friendly, respectful manner (e.g., "All the best," "Best wishes," or "Regards"). If your boss says no to your request, accept it gracefully and don't give up. A negative response now does not necessarily mean you won't be able to get a raise in the future. Send a follow up email or have a conversation in person thanking them again for their time. Politely ask for their feedback about what you might do to get a "yes" in the future.
Keep the tone friendly and professional. Be clear and direct. Make your message detail-oriented. Avoid complaints or ultimatums. Summarize and re-state your request. Sign off respectfully. Be prepared for a "no".