IN: It was like she was wailing . I looked up and could n't see who it was , so I put on my glasses . I looked at her again and I had no idea who the heck she was . I also realized that she was not wearing pants .
Why might there be wailing ?

OUT: She was embarrassed that she was n't wearing pants .

IN: It was a teeny little press conference -- just local news and a few administrators -- so at least I did n't have to worry about being the in back and too short to see . The college president said a few words and introduced the observatory director ( who is " one of the named recipients " of the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize ! ZOMG , I KNOW !
What was the shocking news ?

OUT: The director won the Nobel Peace Prize .

IN: It was like watching a bunch of bumper cars , only they had no bumpers and it was very messy . I took a lot of video that I 'll post on my page at myspace , but it was just so much fun . The cars were getting so ridiculously totaled , not that they were in pristine condition to begin with , but they were bent all out of shape ! Some were bent so much in the front , it was hard to believe that the engines worked , let alone allowed the drivers to see where they were going .
Where may I be currently right now ?

OUT:
A monster truck rally