IN: Review: I think its pretty safe to say that this is the worst film ever made, When I saw the trailer on TV i knew right from second 1 that this would be a piece of **** and it would be best to avoid it, but I somehow got dragged into seeing this by some friends, I walked into the cinema with low expectations but i was hoping there would be a couple of cheap laughs to keep me awake during this film. The so-called "jokes" in this film bring a cringe to the face, they are mostly comprised of people taking hits to the face and balls, the baby looking weird and acting like a horny gangsta and the typical race jokes we see so often in todays garbage comedies. The film is obvious and the story is not only impossible to believe but also predictable and dull. The characters are extremely annoying and heavily stereotyped. I never want to have to see this **** film again, I'd rather take a bullet to the foot than be exposed to this piece of fuckwood ever again. If anyone I see says they liked it i will physically punch them in the face
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review:

There is STAR TREK canon -- lots of it. From canon we know the history of the future. Advances in technology, events, places, first contacts with new beings, names, dates, etc.

ENTERPRISE pretty much disregards much of ST canon. An unfortunate fact for long time serious fans. As one, I assumed that the producers would at least take a look at the first few episodes of TOS and retro back from there -- but no.

The phase pistols, like much of the technology, look much more modern than found in TOS. An old style Starfleet laser gun, a slow gold speckle transporter effect -- that's what I expected to see. Also, I did not expect to hear pure beep-based sound effects similar to TNG but far apart from TOS sound effects.

In the earliest view of TOS (the original pilot: THE CAGE), we see a Starfleet with a more formal military aspect -- a bit of old earth Navy. With ENTERPRISE, we see a shocking disregard for rank. There is more military code in the cartoon STAR BLAZERS than in ENTERPRISE.

It is fine that Captain Archer is unsure about the needs of the Universe (quite unlike Kirk who never lacked confidence in his application of human justice), but inside ENTERPRISE everyone seems like an equal. Unprofessional, unsure, more distant from the feel of formal military service than found in any ST series -- and that says a lot!

The casual country music opening theme song heralds the journeys of a family rather than the adventures of an important large military vessel.

ENTERPRISE looks to show us a mostly fun, warm-fuzzy exploration of human relationships rather than take us on a historic, bold, gritty, high-rick exploration of space.

I would have selected Adrian Paul to play the Captain and an older human to be the doctor. Still, I liked the actors for the most part. Linda Park, an outstanding ballroom dancer from Boston College, is sure to develop nicely. The characters making up the crew seem to be thoughtfully created.

ENTERPRISE begins its run stronger than did the past three STAR TREK series. Let's hope for a good future!
What is this review like?
OUT: positive

IN: Review: This movie serves as a timely warning to anyone who thinks they can both write and direct their own movie. Face it, you can't. Because that way there's nobody around to tell you when you hack great holes in your plot, have meaningless transitions, trite, unmemorable dialog and manage to turn a fairly cool Korean legend into a steaming pile of celluloid turd.

I wanted to like this movie as a trashy popcorn movie, really I did; I like lots of crappy movies. But once I've been forced to ask myself what the hell just happened and WHY, DEAR LORD, WHY? more than a few times, I really can't take it any more.

Also, I would love for someone to explain how LA became Mordor for the last scene.
What is this review like?
OUT: negative

IN: Review: Picture the scene where a bunch of scriptwriters sit around a table and one says "lets have a black woman approach an unsuspecting member of the public (also black) in the street and ask him if he is black, then walk away". The other writers fall about laughing hysterically until one suggests they repeat it in every episode. More laughter. Now if you think the premise is funny, and the show contains many such types of situation, you will enjoy this show. For the rest, use your zapper and find something more entertaining like watching paint dry. Those that have written glowing reports of this show should either get out more or be forced to watch television comedies that are really funny. Another example of the humor in the show, a girl tries to get out of paying at a supermarket checkout by trying to hypnotise the cashier. Marginally funny the first time but why repeat it over and over in different shows with different cashiers? I could give other examples but these just might be treated as spoilers, divulging why this comedy just is not funny at all.
What is this review like?
OUT:
negative