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When you first hear the news of your loved one's suicide, it's common for family members and friends to feel numb. You might say things like "I can't believe it!" because you don't think this can be real. This feeling will go away over time as you come to accept the death. Confusion is another emotion typically experienced by those who lose a loved one to suicide. You and others might constantly ask "why" this happened or "why" your loved one didn't show any signs. The need to make sense of the death may haunt you continuously. Trying to piece together the last weeks, days, or hours of your loved ones life may help you understand better. However, you must accept that, with suicide, there will always be some unanswered questions. You may notice yourself feeling angry about the suicide. Your angry feelings may be guilt directed at yourself for not seeing any signs that your loved one was hurting. You may also be direct responsibility at God, at other family members, at mental health professionals for not doing enough, or at your loved one for not reaching out to you and asking for your help. Recognize that blaming yourself or feeling guilty is common, but it's not your fault. Blame may help you try to cope with the loss by assigning responsibility, when you are truly upset by the idea that your life and the lives of your loved ones are not in your control.

summary: Expect shock. Know that feeling confused is normal. Brace yourself for anger, guilt and blame.

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Plan on transplanting scuppernongs when you no longer have to worry about sub-freezing temperatures. Frost can hinder the development of young vines. In the southern United States, you can usually plant scuppernongs in late February through March. Plants kept in containers can technically be planted at any point during the year, but if you opt for bare-root plants, you must adhere to this schedule more strictly. The hole should be at least as deep as the container currently holding the scuppernong vine, if not a little deeper. Each planting hole should also be about twice as wide as the diameter of the current container. You need to provide plenty of space for the roots to spread without any risk of crowding. Gently remove the plant from its current container and center the roots in the planting hole. Partially cover the roots with topsoil, then fill the rest of the hole with loose soil. Scatter the soil around the roots and use your hands to firmly pack it in as you work. Water the soil after transplanting the vine and filling in the hole. The water should help settle the soil and will also give the roots a boost of nourishment. Spread 1 to 2 inches (2.5 to 5 cm) of compost or shredded leaves over the soil to help retain moisture around each newly planted vine. Separate vines should be 10 to 20 feet (3 to 6.1 meters) apart within a single row. If you plant multiple rows of scuppernongs, the rows should be spaced 8 to 12 feet (2.4 to 3.7 meters) apart.

summary: Wait until the threat of frost has passed. Dig a deep hole. Transplant the scuppernongs carefully. Provide plenty of space for separate vines.

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You're going to create a straw with your biscuit by nibbling two diagonally opposite corners of the Tim Tam. Be sure you eat enough of the corner that you can see the creamy chocolate filling that is between the two crackers. The creamy middle is the route through which you'll be slurping your drink. If you have not eaten away enough of the malted wafer, it will be difficult for you to draw your beverage up through the Tim Tam. Now that there's an opening at opposite ends of your biscuit, you can dunk one of your nibbled off ends into beverage and begin sucking at the opposite nibbled off end. This should draw the liquid up through the Tim Tam. Your Tim Tam will also begin to absorb whatever you are drinking. Some beverages will absorb more quickly than others, but eventually your Tim Tam will become saturated. Timing is important at this point in the slam. If you wait too long, your Tim Tam might fall apart into your drink. If you jump the gun, you might find your Tim Tam hasn't reached optimal saturation. You should avoid drinking beverages that are too hot with your Tim Tam. This could result in you burning your mouth! If your drink just came out of the coffee pot, microwave, or off the stove, you may want to wait a few minutes. Once the Tim Tam has become a delicious, gooey mess of chocolate, you should quickly put it in your mouth before it falls apart and you lose it in your drink! You may want to insert your fingers into your mouth along with the biscuit so that you can lick away any residual chocolate. You should always wash your hands before eating, and especially before doing the Tim Tam slam. The melty chocolate can mix easily with dirt or bacteria on your fingers and get in your mouth.
summary: Create the openings through which you'll slam. Suck your drink through the Tim Tam. Slam the melty treat into your mouth.