Summarize the following:
If you're regularly using the silent treatment against someone you love, it can damage the relationship. In fact, many psychologists consider it a form of abuse, as you are intentionally punishing the other person for something he or she has done. Regularly using silence as a way to retaliate is not a way to solve problems, and can build up resentment in the other person. If you notice yourself engaging in this behavior, approach the person and break the silence. Instead of focusing on the emotions around the issue, focus on the issue. Don't get sidetracked by things that the person said that trigger you, stay on track with what's important. Work on the issue together to figure out how you can move forward. If you're ready to move forward, say, "Can we take a moment to talk about this problem? I'd like to work it out." If your arguments often get sidetracked, you can take a moment, write your feelings on a piece of paper, and then trade papers. That way, you can express your emotions without interruption or being sidetracked. Instead of giving into the silent treatment, let the person know how his or her action made you feel. Stick to "I" statements instead of "you" statements, as that focuses on how you feel rather than putting blame on the person. For example, if you're unhappy because your spouse has come home late again, you could say, "I feel anxious when you don't come home on time and don't call. I fear for your safety, and I miss your company." That's a better thing to say than "You're never home on time, and I hate it." The first one opens a discussion. The second one places blame. Once you've both aired your grievances, take time to brainstorm a solution. Of course, that may mean you both need to compromise, which means you'll both have to give a little. To compromise, find your core concerns first. Then brainstorm ways to meet the needs with both of you benefitting. To truly communicate, you must take time to listen to what the other person is saying and feeling as well. If you've gotten to a point where all you want to do is give the person the cold shoulder, that's probably an indication you need to have a serious conversation. Listening to what someone has to say shows that you are engaged, interested, and respectful. Actively listen to what the person is feeling and thinking, and show him or her that you are listening by summarizing what they've said every so often and asking relevant follow-up questions. " Everyone makes mistakes, and it's important to take responsibility for your actions when you hurt someone. If you handled a situation wrong, own up to it. Don't be afraid to apologize for any actions you have done that have caused harm.
Understand the silent treatment can hurt relationships. Focus on the issue. Tell the person how you're feeling. Work on a compromise together. Listen as much as you talk. Don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry.