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If you or the other person tries to let something go and it continues to eat at either of you, then you likely need to process residual feelings. This may include talking with the person, reiterating your desires to rebuild trust, and assuring her that you will do what ever it takes to make things better. It can be upsetting if someone tells you to, "just let it go" if you haven't reached a level of resolve about the matter. Take a deep breath and say, "I'm working on letting it go, but I'm not there yet." As time passes and progress if made, you may notice the other person holds the issue over your head. She brings up the betrayal in an argument or discussion. Perhaps she isn't over the hurt and still has work to do to forgive you. Calmly bring it up and say, "It sounds like you are not fully ready to forgive me. I think we both have worked really hard to get where we are. What else can I do to help you get to a point where you don't have to bring this up? If more apologies will help, I'm ready to do that. If you think I don't understand the depth of the hurt that I did to you, then help me out and tell me. I'll do whatever it takes because when you bring it up it makes me believe that you're still hurt, and I don't want that." If you refuse to hold a grudge against her for her reactions, it will help you remain open for positive improvements. Remember, you would appreciate the same respect. Celebrating the smallest of improvements will breathe life back into the situation. Everyone benefits from recognition for a job well done. If she begrudges the idea, tell her you are celebrating because you both committed to work together through the journey and that alone deserves a celebration. Whether you have to sever ties for yourself, or if someone severs ties with you, there's no reason why two parties should continue to betray each other. If you continually find yourself in the same cycle of betrayal-forgive-rebuild-betrayal, it is time to stop the madness. Don't waste your time or someone else's. Life is short so surround yourself with people who bring you joy and satisfaction. Trickery and betrayal are not virtues anyone will admire. Accepting the truth can be the first step toward real change. It's up to you to create the fulfilling life that you've always wanted. It is possible. Be self-reliant. Happiness is an inside job and you are responsible to create it. It is easier to face difficult situations if you are filled with good vibes. A happier you will always make any relationship better. You know what makes you happy, so participate in activities that will build a reservoir of positive feelings. For example, if you love the way live music makes you feel then attend concerts at small clubs and large venues. Listen to new music to expand your knowledge. If you love being outdoors, join a hiking group in your local area. Communing with nature is restorative.
Let go of the past. Do not hold grudges. Acknowledge commitment and improvement. Cut off repeat offenders. Be responsible for your own happiness.