Q: What's an example of a movie review?
An example of a movie review is here: The fine cast cannot uplift this routine tale of a secretary murdered by her married paramour. In fact there are more questions than answers in this one-sided tale of romance and murder; and since we are only provided with the prosecution's side, none of these questions will be answered. This is the type of fare that appeals to the "He Woman, Man Hater" clubs of America. As presented, it is the tale of an innocent woman who just happens to be "caught up" in a romance with a married, high-profile attorney. Is it possible that IF, she had not been two timing her boy friend and having an affair with a married man, the whole nasty murderous, sordid incident could have been avoided? When you watch this, don't worry about going to the 'fridge, you won't miss anything.

Q: What's an example of a movie review?
An example of a movie review is here: I don't know what it is about this movie- director Sam Mraovich somehow messed up just about every little aspect in this movie. I would normally say that this is a movie that should not exist, but this movie may be the most important of all time. This movie should exist for the sole purpose of being without a doubt 'The Worst Movie Ever Made'. I've seen bad movies in my lifetime, but this somehow breaks what I considered bad into something much more hard to imagine.

Everything in this movie is hilarious, but the single funniest thing is that Mraovich himself considers this to be a great movie.

Oh wow...

Q: What's an example of a movie review?
An example of a movie review is here: This film stars, among others, "SlapChop" Vince Offer (who also wrote, edited and directed) and Joey Buttafuoco--not exactly names that scream out "quality". And with such uplifting skits as "Supermodels taking a dump" (it's exactly what it sounds like), a guy who robs a sperm bank (the "Rhymer"), necrophilia with a rotting corpse, black market fetuses (featuring a guy scooping what are supposed to be them out of a jar), lots and lots of gay jokes, a skit about a giant phallus who is a superhero and forced abortions. The skits are painfully unfunny (such as "Batman and Rhymer"), the acting not good enough to be considered amateurish and the film is crude just for the sake of being crude...and stupid. I truly believe a group of 8 year-olds could have EASILY made a funnier film with the same budget.

Apparently this film resulted in a lawsuit by "Slap Shot" Vince against the Scientologists. Frankly, I wouldn't know who to root for in this case!!! Apparently, he alleged that somehow Scientologists destroyed his reputation and sank this film. No matter that the film is repellent junk from start to finish and 99% unfunny (by comparison, Ebola is funnier)...and these are the nicest things I can say about the movie.

By the way, that IS Bobby Lee (from "Mad TV") wearing a diaper and participating in the dumb fake porno film. It's amazing his career could overcome this.

Q: What's an example of a movie review?
An example of a movie review is here:
Katherine Heigl, Marley Shelton, Denise Richards, David Boreanaz. Even before I knew what this film was about, these names were enough to draw me in. Gorgeous, talented and popular, these are performers to look out for.

Ok, where do I start. We already know what the film is about. Five beautiful girls being targeted by a 'romantic' serial slasher, a guy they all turned down at the school dance 13 years ago. His trademarks include subtle deaththreats disguised as valentine cards, maggot-infested chocolates and a bleeding nose. His weapon of choice: well, take a pick - axe, knife, electric powerdrill, bow and arrow, hot iron, etc. Ok, so basically it's a horror movie with a nice twisted sense of sexuality.

Horror movies aren't supposed to be Shakespeare, but I'm not gonna go there. I love horror movies, but not all of them. This one, I adore. It's up there with some of my other favorites. It's funny, sexy and scary. The killer's mask is childishly creepy, and seeing cupid firing a bow and arrow at a victim is really freaky. The acting is topnotch: Denise Richards, Marley Shelton and David Boreanaz are a lot of fun. I really did wish to see much, much more of Katherine Heigl. I am one of her biggest fans and would love to see her doing some leading work soon. Jessica Capshaw is a very capable actress, and Jessica Cauffiel gets to do the ditzy blonde role she perfected in Urban Legend 2. The smaller parts were also good; Hedy Buress was a hoot ('bleedmedry.com') and that younger version of Denise Richards looked frightfully like her.

Highlights: Every death scene had a particular distinction to it. The creepiest being the opening scene in the morgue. The hottub scene, while ludicrous, was well done. And the audiovisual maze was sinister. The soundtrack is great, with creepy music and some fine alternative tunes.

Lowpoint: I felt as though the killer wasn't featured enough, we barely saw the mask, and it wasn't featured at all during the climax. I also thought the climax was really unfocused, but fun nonetheless.

The twist at the end wasn't that big of a surprise, but I'm really glad that the filmmakers decided to spare us that whole 'explaining killer' routine.

I don't like to tell people which movies they should see, but if someone asked me to pick a horror movie that I thought was really worth seeing, then Valentine would be it.

My rating: 10/10 (Bullseye!)