THE NEW NEWLYWEDGAME submitted by MeanBabaJean This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."? "Where are you going Coochy Cooh...?" asked the wife.? "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."? The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.? The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, Honey Pie...but the bar you know...the frozen glass..."? He didn't get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying,"You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?" She takes a mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.? The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"? "You want hors d'oeuvres Pookie Pooh?" She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.? "But Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that. .."? "You want dirty words Cutie Pie?..HERE, DRINK YOUR F*****G BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*****G MUG AND EAT YOUR F*****G SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT A*****E?!!" Subject: FW: Fw: HER BALLONS A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless. "Mummy, Mummy, what are those?" he says pointing to her breasts. "Well, son,"she says, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven," Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. "Mummy, mummy, Aunt Eliza is dying!" "What do you mean?" says his mother. "Well she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor with both of her balloons out. Dad's trying to blow themup for her and she keeps yelling, "God, I'm coming! God, I'm coming!"
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today's joke