Create a list of talking points for yourself to guide you through the conversation. Write this list at a time when you are feeling calm and relaxed. This will help you control the conversation without becoming overly emotional. Write out exactly why you want the divorce, and use this to help you express these thoughts to your spouse. For example, you might write, "I feel as though my needs are not being met by the marriage" or "I think that there are certain issues that we can't resolve." Make a list of reasons why the divorce would be good for you. For example, you might say, "We won't have to argue over little things anymore" or "We can pursue our career goals more freely." Don't assume what would be good for your significant other. While it may seem difficult not to become overwhelmed by this conversation, try to use a calm, even voice and speak slowly. Avoid yelling, screaming, name-calling, or eye-rolling during the conversation. If you feel yourself becoming angry, defensive, or frustrated, stop and take a deep breath. Count to 10 if you need to. When you are ready, respond to your spouse in a calm, even tone. Try squeezing a small stress ball during the conversation when things get tense. If your spouse becomes angry or if you are afraid that they will become violent, remove yourself from the situation. You might tell them something like, "We can continue this conversation at another time." Statements that begin with "you" may come off as accusatory. These statements may incite anger in your spouse and make the divorce process more stressful than it has to be. Instead, use statements that begin with "I" to reflect how you feel. For example, don't say, "You cheated!" or "All you do is work." Instead, simply say, "I feel like we have grown apart. It's not working for me anymore." If your spouse begins to blame you or derail the conversation, end the discussion. You've made up your mind and getting into the technicalities will only make the process harder. Say, "I've made my decision. I don't want to argue with you. Perhaps we can talk more later." Divorce can cause many different emotions, including relief, anxiety, grief, or stress. It is okay if you feel mixed emotions after asking your partner for a divorce. Remind yourself of why you wanted the divorce in the first place to give you the motivation you need to see it through. If you're feeling depressed, overwhelmed, or anxious about the divorce, consider seeing a mental health professional to discuss your feelings. They can help you come to terms with your divorce.

Summary: Write a script beforehand if you think you will be too emotional. Remain calm throughout the conversation. Use "I" statements to avoid blame. Steer clear of fault-finding or arguing. Prepare for mixed emotions in the aftermath.

Before or after school, carve out some time for exercise. It doesn't matter if you lift weights, walk around your neighborhood, swim, or jog on a treadmill; you'll lose weight if you stay moving for about 60 minutes each day and burn more calories than you consume. Small spurts of exercise quickly add up. Try signing up for a 30-minute gym class at school, doing 10 minutes of basic stretches and aerobic exercises as soon as you get home, and going for a 20-minute run with your family dog in the evening. Rather than playing soccer video games with your friends after school, suggest that you all go out to the park and kick around a soccer ball. Sports teams, group fitness classes, and clubs can make exercise more fun and will hold you accountable. Find an activity you enjoy and sign up for a group through your school or local community. Consider a competitive sporting team, an intramural sports team, or a group that just plays for fun. Don't be discouraged if the first few sessions of your fitness class are really tough. You'll build strength and stamina as the weeks go by. Use a phone app or fitness tracker to calculate your daily step count. Start with a relatively low step goal, and each week increase it so you walk a little further. At home, work, and school, take the stairs rather than the elevator or escalator. When you're watching TV or studying for an exam, do this standing up. Or turn on your favorite song and dance around your room for a few minutes. Walk at a brisk pace but slow down if you start getting out of breath then slow down. Instead of slouching, stand or sit up straight to engage your core muscles. Standing will burn more calories than sitting. Rather than taking the bus or catching a ride to school, try bicycling to and from school if you live nearby.

Summary: Complete 1 hour of moderate physical activity each day. Join a sports team, gym, or fitness club to develop a fitness routine. Walk, stand, and take the stairs when you can.

This can be tricky because some men want support by having companionship while others just want space. Overall, a man wants to know that you are on his side. He also wants to know that he can count on you as a source of relief. Try offering to listen should he wish to talk. If you think something is bothering him, bring up the topic in a non-threatening way. You might ask, "I've noticed you seem a little preoccupied lately, is there something different happening at work?" Many will not volunteer to openly talk about their problem, but some will if asked. If he asks for space, don't take it personally. Once he clears his head, he might be more willing to reach out to you now that he knows you are there for support. A man may or may not choose to share what's on his mind. Unfortunately, some men tend to associate talking about feelings with weakness. If he decides to talk, listen openly without interruption. Try to avoid offering solutions or giving advice, unless he asks. Stay away from making trite comments such as, "You'll get over it," or "Don't worry about it." Comments such as these are nonconstructive and only hurt because they diminish his feelings. If he doesn't wish to speak, sit with him quietly. A gentle question or two might help, but don't badger. Don't bring up his struggles or stressors. If he wishes to discuss these, he'll bring them up on his own. As mentioned earlier, some men react to stress by feeling the need to be strong or active. Such responses are okay so long as he is not ignoring the real issue. Give him permission to respond with anger, or to be more cognitive or analytical, or if grieving, to not cry. Don't minimize his feelings but do point out realities and offer hope. All of these typical masculine responses may help him cope; there is no "right" way to express feelings. Don't set a timeframe on his feelings and don't expect him to express himself a certain way. Let him take the lead. Unfortunately, because of societal conditioning, many men believe that feeling sad or scared is a sign of weakness. Reassure him by informing him that all feelings are part of being human. There is no "good" feelings or "bad" feelings. Remind him that you do not think less of him even if he doesn't feel okay.

Summary: Offer support. Listen carefully. Allow him to express himself in his own way. Make it clear to him that it's okay to not feel okay.

This will display all of the books that you have downloaded to your iPad. Tap the cover of the book to open it and start reading. Your Kindle App is constantly evolving to enhance features and functions. Learn more by tapping on the Kindle App icon and selecting "Device" at the bottom. Find the Kindle Manual icon and tap on it to open.
Summary: Open the "Devices" tab on your Kindle app. Tap the book that you want to open. Use the Kindle manual to learn more details about the Kindle app.