Problem: What would be an example of an negative review?

Answer: The Wild Elephant has a problem. The food is nice- I personally recommend the Thai Red Curry, which was very good. The service is also good, with excellent and attentive staff who are friendly and charming. At this point, you may be thinking 'but isnt the food and the staff who serve you your food what makes a restaurant great?' - but I can assure you, there are some big problems. Firstly, The Wild Elephant certainly is a wild one - with eratic opening times which one would assume has no bearing on actual peak times of people wanting to eat in Thai restaurants, its best to ring up and book to make sure you are not dissapointed to find out that the restaurant isnt open when you want it. More so, as our night wound on the feeling that the staff were waiting for us to leave was awkward and unpleasent - but the staff (to thier credit), did remain happy and helpful until we were finished of our own accord. Secondly, the interior designer needs to be shot - an update to the 80's decor is desperatly needed! Not a huge thing, but enough to put a downer on the evening on account of being so dull. Lastly, and this is a big one - the price. The Wild Elephant is expensive, and needlessly so - other restaurants of this standard are charging half the price for the same food. The over all experience is of good food and friendly staff, but in an atmosphere of being unable to relax, for fear of being thrown out of the 80's with a huge bill.

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer: It was a cold rainy in late May, the perfect day to accidentally forget that I'd brought my lunch to the office because SCHNITZEL! I had the schnitzel plate that is served with two sides. I had their German Pickle salad along with a mound of crispy sweet french fries. The fries were amazing with the curry wurst dipping sauce as was the crispy, perfectly fried chicken schnitzel. While the plan was to bring the lunch back to the office in pristine and showcase ready condition we barely made it 5 feet before pecking away at the edges of this mitt-full of food. This is no box of MacDonald's take-out that offers no temptation. No, this meal beckons to you in no uncertain terms to have "just one nibble. Go on, just one..." The pickle salad was not made of pickles as I'd hoped but rather with cucumbers. Super tasty, the crunchiness of the sliced cukes and the creamy dill dressing balanced the tangy curry wurst sauce beautifully. OMG So good!

Problem: What would be an example of an positive review?

Answer:
This cafe looks completely uninspiring and dated - complete with tacky chairs, awful carpet and nasty curtains. HOWEVER - the food is good (and the portions are HUGE). I recommend getting a bottle of the house prosecco, it's fab. The best thing about this cafe for me though, was the service. We were served by a lovely lady called Christine (I think, I hope I got that right). She was so friendly, funny and just a really lovely person. We had great chats with her and she also made some sterling food recommendations. Service was quick and there was certainly nothing at all to complain about. Maybe a redecoration of the place would be good though - to bring it at least into the 90s? Let's go decade by decade until they catch up.