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Don't avoid the subject. Before you have the talk, take some time to think about where you stand on the issues. For example, ask yourself if you are comfortable with teens having sex. If not, think about how you will encourage abstinence. You can also think about whether or not you believe in birth control for teens. Let your teen know that you are happy to talk to them about sex. In fact, you can even initiate a conversation. You could say something like, "Lauren, since you're heading to college, I wanted to talk about ways to practice safe sex. Is now a good time?" You want your teen to know that they can come to you for help and support. In order for communication to work, you need to be honest. That doesn't mean that you have to reveal your entire sexual history to your teen. It just means that you should be prepared to answer questions like, "Did you wait until you were married to have sex?" If you're honest, you're providing your teen with helpful information that can help them make good choices. Your teen might also ask things like, "What should I do if I'm feeling pressured to have sex?" or "Can I get pregnant from oral sex?" Your teen might not feel comfortable talking to you about sex. That's normal! Just make sure that you encourage them to get educated about safe sex. If there is an optional sex ed class at their school, encourage them to sign up. If their school doesn't offer that, check with your local community center or hospital. They might have some community classes. You might also need some more information yourself. You want to be informed when you answer questions. Check out Planned Parenthood's site, or ask your doctor for some current literature. And don't hesitate to head to the local library! Make a point to know who is in your teen's life. If they are dating, ask them to introduce you to their partner. You can also ask your teen questions like, "You and Katie seem to be getting serious. Have you two talked about sex?" If you have any concerns about the relationship, talk to the teen about them. Try not to be judgmental. You don't want your teen to feel embarrassed to talk to you. For example, don't say, "Oh, you're not really in love. You're just a kid!" Share concerns instead of judgments. Say, "It worries me that Tom seems a little controlling. How do you feel?" instead of "I hate Tom."
Examine your own values and attitudes about sex. Encourage open communication. Answer questions honestly. Emphasize education. Monitor your teen's relationships.