Q:Build a movie plot around this: Who quits being a pirate? Steve
A:
Peter LaFleur is the owner of Average Joe's, a small gym with only a few members. When he defaults on the gym's mortgage, it is purchased by his rival, the arrogant White Goodman, a fitness guru and owner of the Globo-Gym across the street. Unless Peter can raise $50,000 in thirty days, White will foreclose on Average Joe's and demolish it to build a parking garage. Attorney Katherine "Kate" Veatch is working on the transaction for White. White unsuccessfully attempts to seduce her, and she instead develops a close friendship with Peter.Average Joe's employees Dwight and Owen and members Steve "the Pirate", Justin and Gordon try to raise the money needed to save the gym. Gordon suggests that they enter a dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas with a $50,000 prize. They form a team with Peter and watch a 1950s-era training video narrated by dodgeball legend "Patches" O'Houlihan (Hank Azaria) and a 12-year-old boy named Timmy (Cayden Boyd). They are soundly defeated by a Girl Scout troop in a local qualifying match, but win by default when the Scouts are disqualified because of one member's steroid and beaver tranquilizer use.White has been spying on Average Joe's using a hidden camera, and forms his own elite dodgeball team to defeat them. Peter is approached by the aging, wheelchair-bound Patches, who volunteers to coach the team. Patches' training regimen includes throwing wrenches at the team ("If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!"), forcing them to dodge oncoming cars and constantly roasting them with insults. Kate demonstrates skill at the game, but declines to join the team as it would be a conflict of interest. Upon finding a loophole in the contract with Kate, White arranges for her to be fired from her law firm so that dating him would not be a conflict of interest. This enrages Kate and motivates her to join the Average Joe's team.At the tournament in Las Vegas, Average Joe's suffers early setbacks but manages to advance to the final round against Globo-Gym. The night before the match,...