Given the question: Build a movie plot around this: Machete wakes up to find himself where? Desert
The answer is:
The film is preceded by a fake trailer for "Machete Kills Again... In Space!", which features the titular hero on an intergalactic mission, starring Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber as a robot named Bleep (which Machete destroys), and Leonardo DiCaprio as "The Man in the Silver Mask" (with the sub-note that the actor playing the role is subject to change).The actual film starts off with a team of military men arriving at the Arizona-Mexico border, where they start unloading crates filled with high-tech weaponry. They're cornered by Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), both of whom are aware that these men are planning on selling weapons to the cartel. Sure enough, the cartel arrive right on cue. They whip out their guns and kill all the military men. Machete and Sartana fight back, with Machete slaughtering them with his machete. The cartel leader prepares to kill Machete, stating that "if a man kills a legend, he becomes a legend himself." That's when three helicopters show up with masked men hopping out and shooting the cartel. Sartana pleads with Machete to help her fight these other men, and she goes around to the back of the military truck to find a large missile in the back. A man in a luchador mask walks up to her and shoots Sartana in the head, killing her. Machete finds her body and falls on his knees in despair, just as he is apprehended by the masked men.Machete is set to be hanged in the office of the racist redneck Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) after being accused of murdering Sartana. Doakes tells his deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis) to kick the stool from beneath Machete's feet, which he does, but Machete doesn't die. Instead, he stares viciously at the two men. The phone rings, and Clebourne answers, then passes it to Doakes, saying it's the President. Doakes answers and then grabs his gun to shoot the noose to free Machete. He takes the phone and growls, "This is Machete."Machete is escorted to Washington DC and to the White...