Article: If you are unhappy in a relationship, ending it quickly may rob you of the possibility to get to the root of the problem. It can take months to figure out if your partnership can improve or not. In some cases, it might make sense to detach emotionally for a short period, while staying in the relationship. For instance, you might detach if your relationship has soured due to a recent change in you and your partner's routine. You might both just need time to readjust. If you and your significant other are constantly at odds, or in an on-again-off-again pattern, consider detaching. When tensions die down, both of you can reach a better decision about whether or not the relationship should continue. Don't detach before you have tried seriously to fix the issues in your relationship. Detachment should only be employed if you are on the verge of breaking up. If you live together, have a child, or own a pet, a home, or business, you will need to remain physically present and attentive. Detaching emotionally means holding back emotionally from the relationship for a while, but you can still share labor and everyday activities with your partner. If you and your partner do not share responsibility for a child, another dependent, a pet, a home, or business, you may have the option of taking physical time apart. Take a business trip or a vacation by yourself, or with a group of non-intimate acquaintances, such as a hiking group. Don't announce your plans to detach, but if asked, say that you are thinking about the relationship and focusing on yourself for a while. You may not want to use the word "detach" or "disengage" unless that is the language you and your partner already share. Instead, say you need time to focus on a project you have, on getting right with yourself, or on work. It is unfair to your partner if you expect emotional support from them while simultaneously withholding your emotions from them. It will also make it hard for you to stay disengaged. Rely on your friends and family for advice and socialization. Confide in friends and family that are your own, rather than yours and your partner's. In your time detached, focus on figuring out your feelings. What do you need to change in your relationship? What of your needs are unmet? It may help to talk to a therapist. This is a time of sorting through your own feelings, not criticizing your partner. Abstain from sexual contact during this time. If you have realized that you want to stay in the relationship, you may have to woo your partner back. He or she may feel hurt and abandoned by your detachment. Explain that you were afraid of breaking up and that you were trying to cool off and not make a rash decision. Make an honest attempt to state your needs and listen to the needs of your partner. If you have decided that your relationship is over, use the perspective gained in your detachment to compassionately end your relationship.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Decide if detachment is appropriate. Detach without neglecting shared responsibilities. Take physical space. Explain to your partner that you need to focus on yourself for a while if you are asked. Get support from friends. Focus on getting in touch with yourself. Decide what's next.