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It does not matter who ended things, or who said what. If you broke up, it meant that one or both of you weren't right for each other, and though it is hard to acknowledge, this makes the break up a good thing in the long run. But that is for down the road -- for now, the only thing to remember is that this isn't your fault. Relationships are a two-way street -- and it is no one's fault when they don't work out. So stop beating yourself up. It's not worth the emotional energy. Everyone is going to be telling you "it's going to be fine," "you were too good for him anyway," and other platitudes to try and cheer you up. But the truth is that you're going to be sad, and fighting it off or ignoring that sadness will only make it last longer. The trick isn't to avoid sadness but put a deadline on it. Let yourself be sad for a week or so -- eat the ice cream, watch the sad movies, and have a good cry. But once your week is over, it is time to pick up the pieces and move forward. There is no right amount of time to be sad. However, you should not let your sadness destroy your everyday life and other relationships. While colloquial, there is some evidence that most people feel "normal" again after roughly three weeks. But you must also know being single is not the weird part -- you're just adjusting to something new. Being in a relationship impacts almost every part of your life, so losing that constant force may make everything feel different and strange. But this is just your brain and body shifting into single gear -- it has nothing to do with your decision, or a permanent change in your personality. Constant reminders of your old relationship will make it much harder to feel single. You don't have to throw anything away if you don't want, but put it all in a box in the basement for the time being. Even if you don't think you need to get rid of stuff, or feel bad doing it, you should do a light purge. Invite a sympathetic friend to help out if this is emotionally difficult. It will take half the time, and you'll have a support system to boot. Don't go out and change your whole life now that you're single, of course. But a few cosmetic changes, ones you might not have made with a partner, make the rest of the changes in your life much easier to swallow. Even a weekend trip or hike can be enough to shake off some of the sadness and see things in a different light. Changing your surroundings, even temporarily, is a good way to put your "normal life" in perspective, helping cope with your difficult or painful emotions. If you have good friends, they've most likely been passively but patiently there for you throughout your whole relationship. Use this time to go out and make up for all those lost times and declined invitations. Now, you have the chance to bond with your old friends and the freedom to make new ones. Friendships are very positive, and the stronger they are, the more they'll help you get through this tricky period. Being single is a blessing, and it is a vital part of growing up and learning more about yourself. The states of singleness found between intervals of relationships can be the most rewarding times in your life. These are the times when you grow stronger and redefine your priorities and interests as an individual. Good luck, and cheers to the new you!
Stop blaming yourself for how things ended. Give yourself some time to be sad. Understand that being single will feel weird, foreign, and uncomfortable at first. Remove pictures, items, and memories of your ex from regular view. Mix things up with a vacation, furniture shuffle, or a new outfit. Rekindle and strengthen your friendships and support network. Recognize and be proud of yourself, knowing that you aren't defined by who you're dating.