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Don't tell him that he must do the chores one way and on a certain day, but instead explain how you do it and what has worked for you. Avoid speaking down to your partner. Try to think of this as an opportunity to share your point of view, rather than instructing your partner as though they are incapable or unwilling. Instead of saying things like, "Make sure you do it like this," try using "I" statements like, "I like to do it this way. I find this gives me the best results." Be open to suggestions. Use "you" statements to ask questions. "Do you have any ideas about how to improve this process?" "How do you feel about doing the task in this way?" Saturday mornings can be a good time if there aren't other commitments since it frees up the rest of the weekend. Otherwise choose a time that fits and lets both of you do housework in tandem. Make dinner together. This can end up being a good time to talk about your day and for both of you to learn new skills by trying out new recipes once a week. Let him wash the dishes while you dry. Or you rinse them and he loads the dishwasher. Play music or a podcast while you dust the living room. Anything you can do to mix a bit of leisure or fun into doing chores can make the tasks seem less daunting and actually turn them into a bonding experience. Call yourself a team. Think about you and your partner as a team and the chores as a game you working together to win. Keep a score chart for your team. Reward yourselves with an hour of TV or a glass of wine when you've completed all your tasks. Prepare his mind and his mood to be engaged when the weekend comes to clean the house. Do it together and limit the time so your family doesn't spend the entire day cleaning. The goal is to get your husband to get involved. If it becomes too much, he may not want to do it again. Start small and build from there. Make a chore chart with each task listed out and when it needs to be done. Plan in other activities like taking a walk or a break to do some reading so that the day doesn't feel bogged down by just doing chores. This should go both ways. Try alternating tasks and rewards. Whoever cleans the bathroom this week gets to pick what movie you watch on movie night. Whoever cleans out the fridge gets a twenty minute backrub before bed. You both contribute to the harmony of the home, so both of you need to acknowledge this from time to time. The more you demonstrate your appreciation to one another, the more it becomes a good habit. Thank your partner for specific tasks. "Thank you for mopping the kitchen floor. It looks wonderful!" It can be easy to start taking for granted things that they do every week. Remind your husband how much you appreciate being thanked. Thank each other for doing extra work. No matter how hard you try there are going to be weeks where life catches up with your family and one of you ends up doing more of the chores than the other. This is part of being partners in a relationship. Be sure to point out when you see your partner taking on more of the chores to take some of the pressure off of other things that might be going on in your life. Be willing to do the same. Be flexible and patient. It takes time to change old routines and habits, especially when one person has been relied upon to keep the house clean. It may take lots of gentle reminders and additional persuasion, but persist until it becomes the norm in your household. And avoid keeping score; he's likely to slip up, and you are too. Just gently remind him of his end of the bargain when he fails to meet it. Have weekly check ins. Take some time to discuss how the chores went for the week. Avoid blaming each other. Everyone's schedules are different and no week is exactly the same as the one before it. Start by talking about what went well instead of what didn't work. Focusing on the positive will make it easier when you start to address the things that didn't go the way either of you had hoped.
Tell your husband how you accomplish the work and when. Set aside one time a week where both of you pitch in and do household chores together, after which there is room for relaxing and leisure. Plan cleaning in advance. Make a rewards system. Get into the habit of thanking each other for keeping the household running smoothly. Remind yourselves that it takes time to change.