Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: As a bar, it's fine, I'm not a beer drinker but I hear their selection is amazing. As a restaurant though, it's been consistently wonderful. Their beer bread and honey butter are a great appetizer. They have plenty of healthy vegetarian options: from a falafel wrap and peanut stew (favorite!) to burritos and veggie burgers (Admittedly they're a little lackluster on the veggie burger). When eating with a group they can split the check for you in amazing ways. This includes splitting appetizers and putting a fraction of the cost on everyone's bill. Amazing for those who never carry cash smaller than a $20 on them. Service is probably their weakest point. They're competent enough, but nothing special, and they're usually pretty busy.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: I bought a groupon for a 60 minute massage. I unfortunately did not read the reviews below before I made the purchase. In retrospect, the previous reviews are 100% accurate. My experience was pretty much the same. Although my massage wasn't completely terrible, I wish I had gone elsewhere. Yes, the massaeuse was older and it seemed difficult for her to perform a deep tissue massage. Her hands and arms were shaking from applying pressure. She was chewing gum audibly. The music selection was not relaxing by any means. Was that christian rock? Not too mention it wasn't a full hour long. When I walked in, the receptionist had a mouth full of food. She was awkward. The entire office was pretty crappy. There was a make-shift dog play area. When I declined to purchase another massage afterwards, she seemed genuinely disappointed in my answer. Upset even. It was weird. I hate to give such a poor score, but really... some changes need to be made.

Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A:
Two words: food poisoning. So, after I had half-way recovered from the wretched experience of involuntarily rejecting all of my bodily fluids and nutrients, I decided to go to the store and let the manager know. I was polite about it, realizing that it's not possible for a store to NEVER have a contaminated item on the shelf. The manager was pretty dismissive of it, and tried to act like I was crazy. I insisted on filling out a report anyway. Then I decided to buy some smoothies and protein shakes, since I couldn't keep down solid foods. Guess what? About 20% of them were expired by TWO MONTHS, but they were marked down with the "Manager's Special" sticker, so that makes it OK. No wonder people get sick from the food here. I think they must have sold me a rotten chicken, in the form of one of those roasted things. They pump them full of saline "flavor" solution to cover up the taste of rotten meat.