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Put away the distractions. Hide your phone. Take the time to really listen. Use a person's appearance to see how he feels. Observe a person's mood. Use all five senses. Notice what's not being said. Pay attention to body language. Notice your surroundings.
The reason that most people aren't observant these days is because of the infinite amount of distractions all around us. If you're in a social setting, don't play around with your iPod. If you're studying for a test, put away your magazines. Put away anything that's keeping you from focusing and noticing whatever is in front of you. Spending all of your time on your cell phone is the easiest way to be completely unobservant, to annoy the people around you, and to have absolutely no idea what's going on. What's more, if you're texting while walking, riding a bus, or generally hanging out in public, you'll be much more likely to get your stuff stolen or to walk right in to a dangerous situation because you had absolutely no clue about what was actually happening. If you're having a real conversation with a friend, put the phone away and stop having a text conversation with a different friend. If you really want to observe what's going on, then you should just focus on one conversation at a time. Being a good listener is different than just being a listener. When a person is talking to you, pay attention to that person's words, emotions, body language, and gestures to get the full picture. Don't interrupt the person or just wait for him to stop talking so you can start sharing your own opinions. Nod when it's necessary, make comments when the conversation asks for it, but don't say, "that's so true" every two seconds or the person will get distracted. If a person is telling you about a problem he or she is experiencing, don't jump in and offer advice right away. Sometimes, the person may just want to talk and may just want you to be there to listen. Pay attention to the details a person reveals about his life so you can refer back to them in the next conversation. If you see a casual friend who says he's going up to Tahoe to ski for the weekend, the next time you see him, ask about his big trip. Being observant means more than just listening to the words a person says it means checking out how a person looks and acts for insight into how he is really feeling. Your friend may be telling you that she's getting over her break-up just fine, but her eyes may be red and puffy; your boyfriend may tell you that he's not so stressed out at work, but he can come home with his nails bitten down to the quick. People may say one thing and feel another, so pay attention to their appearance for more insight into what's really happening. Let's say your boss came in with bags under his eyes on the day you wanted to ask for a raise. If he's acting and looking worse than usual, then you may want to wait until the next day, when he's back to being his usual self. Being observant here can help you benefit yourself. It's hard to say exactly how to categorize a person's moods, but be on the lookout for changes of behavior to see how your friends or acquaintances are really feeling. To see if there's a change in a person's mood, you have to recognize the norm first. If your friend is usually grumpy in the morning, then it means nothing if she's grumpy when you see her before school; but if she's a morning person and looks groggy and like she hasn't slept, then something bad might have happened to her. A mood is like an aura that surrounds a person; be observant to feel out the "vibe" you get. A person can be upset, excited, nervous, angry, bitter, confused, frustrated, elated, or disappointed without saying a word about it. Engage all of your five senses when you're in a conversation with someone, or even just when you're observing others. This is the ultimate way to be fully observant. Here are some things that you can do: Use your eyes to observe and scan your surroundings and people's behavior wherever you are. Use ears to pay attention to all the different voices. You should be able to distinguish voices from a lot of noise. Use touch to know the mood of people. For example, if someone shakes hands with you and you find the person's hands sweaty, then the person may be nervous. Use your nose to detect any smell that is out of the ordinary, like a sudden change in aroma of the area. What a person tells you is just as important as what he or she doesn't say, so pay attention for what's absent as well as what's present. For example, if your friend is always gushing about how amazing her boyfriend is, and suddenly, he doesn't come up at all in the course of a long conversation, then maybe something is up. If your mother has been really excited about a big promotion at work, and then she comes home and only wants to talk about your schoolwork, then maybe things didn't work out. Often, people don't want to mention the disappointments in their lives or the things that they want to keep private. Be observant to see what's missing in a conversation. Body language can be another strong indicator of what a person is really thinking and feeling. If a person is standing up straight, looking straight ahead or like he's ready for the next big thing, then chances are, he's in a good mood and ready for success. If someone is slouching, hunched over, fidgeting with his hands or looking at the floor, then maybe things didn't go so well for that person today. But of course, if that's how the person always looks, then the body language may not mean as much but if you notice something out of the ordinary, then it may indicate a change in mood or emotion. Don't just pay attention to people. Notice how many cars are in the parking lot along with yours. Notice what kind of birds are flying around the beach that day. See which fruits are being sold in the grocery stores, and notice whether the prices have gone up or down since the last time. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times, and look for anything out of the ordinary, even if you're just walking down the street. You can practice noticing your surroundings when you're on your own, and then become more aware of your surroundings when you're talking to people.