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. Having resilience means that you can keep working toward your goals even if things do not go your way. Building this skill takes time and practice, but it can help you to overcome disappointment more easily. To build resilience, you can: Put things into perspective. When something does not go your way, consider if it is something that is worth spending time and energy on. For example, if you had hoped to get a job that you interviewed for and did not get it, then your time and energy might be better spent applying for different jobs. Take a moment to put your situation into perspective to help you build up your resilience. Maintain good relationships. If you have good relationships, then you will probably feel more secure when something does not go your way. Try to maintain healthy relationships with your friends and family to feel more secure during difficult times. Challenge unhelpful thoughts. Resilient people can alter their thinking to help themselves stay motivated and to continue working towards their goals. You can do this too by challenging thoughts that are untrue or unhelpful. For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I will always fail," then you can challenge this untrue and unhelpful thought. Try telling yourself something like, "Things might not always go my way, but if I keep working towards my goals then I will achieve them." The past is just that, the past. While you can't take back what has happened, you can use this experience as a helpful tool. Think about how the best and the worst of the situation for you or others you care about. What can you or others learn from this? For example, let's say you're working an important project with a small team. Maybe the project is bigger than expected, and more time consuming than you thought? So the team ends up rushing to complete the project and it seems to you like the project is failing. This could be an opportunity to understand when to ask for additional help. Maybe you and the team could take a different approach to the project? Maybe the project isn't as bad as it seems because you had too high expectations? While this is all in hindsight, it's important to see what happens next as a way to grow. When something doesn't go the way you'd like, you may feel like you've failed. Avoid seeing yourself with hate, and instead focus on what you are thankful for. Resilience is key to keeping yourself motivated.. Giving up means giving into your own self-doubts. Reframe your negative thoughts by thinking about the good things that have happened. Even if they are small things. For example, if you were hoping to get an A on an exam and instead got a C, think about how you can look at the bigger picture. Maybe this is your only C on an exam this semester? Maybe this isn't the only test for the class so you can study harder on the other exams? Maybe the other students all got Cs on the exam too? Life is trial and error. Some mistakes are our own, and some are those of others or simply forces beyond our control. Own up to your mistakes, but avoid dwelling in them. When you are honest with yourself, then you can learn to grow and become better. Mistakes are learning opportunities. They can push you to the invisible boundaries of what's possible and what's not. When you try new things, it's possible you'll make mistakes. This is part of life. It can make you stronger and more prepared for the next time. Consider saying to yourself, "I know that I messed up, but it's not the end of the world" or "I can learn from this. I can be better. I can be ready for the next time." There's no shame in asking for input. Talk with people that you trust about what they think about the situation. Get advice from a variety of people. Seeking advice can help you feel less alone with your thoughts or concerns. People on the outside might have a better vantage point about what's going on.
Build resilience Use the past for guidance rather than regret. Avoid giving up. Learn from mistakes. Ask for help.