Problem: Write a negative yelp review.
A: Nothing vegetarian. Unless you want Edamame for a meal.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A: Stopped in here on a whim after seeing it off the street. Mighty impressive selection, with 2 floors that are wall-to-wall with everything you could possibly want. And a whole lot of other shit that you look at like "no fucking way" and then later on you double back and consider the possibilities a little more. The staff was exceedingly friendly and polite, too. I know that's supposed to be a given almost anywhere you go, but I feel it bears mentioning in places like this because I know if I read it's run by some sketchy, meth-ed out looking guy, or a diminutive Asian man who hovers over your shoulder like a conscience devil (I'm looking at you, sex store in Lake Forest, CA that I forgot the name of). Point is, it's very important to have the right kind of staffing for these places. Namely, women. Oh, almost forgot a funny story. So, while we were scouring the aisles there was a small group of people doing the same, although they were being obnoxious and douchey and acting like loud asses. Anyway, at one point the most annoying dude (I'm using that term because he was such an obvious OC bro) got a mini tour of the, ahem, "viewing rooms" from the employee upstairs. The same employee that I noticed earlier was a male dressed as a female (I'm assuming transgender, but I thought he could've just been a crossdresser). Anyway, after the tour the guy yells out extremely enthusiastically, "Hey, this guy just gave me the most awesome tour!". The employee corrected him, but it was funny because the guy probably didn't even think twice since (apologies if you're reading this) the "she" was so barely passable it looked like Fred Armisen in lipstick and a wig. Some things just can't be hidden.

Problem: Write a positive yelp review.
A:
Ali Baba has become my go-to for Middle Eastern fare in Pittsburgh. I've ordered a few different things but the absolute best thing on the menu is the lamb shank, which a waitress recommended as their specialty. She was so spot on. The meat is juicy and fall-off-the-bone tender, and the tomato-based broth is seasoned perfectly. Yum! The salad is great (no surprise there, I'll eat anything with that lemony Middle Eastern dressing) and the kabobs and hummus are pretty good, but beware of the baba ghanouj...sometimes it can be very bitter if they make a bad batch. The service is slow as hell, always. Not a quick eat, but satisfying if you have the time. Delivery is available through Wheel Deliver.