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Choose an appropriate time and place. Consider your spouse's schedule and preferences. Stick with the truth. Listen to your spouse
Privacy is a must for this type of conversation. Pick a time and location that will allow you to carry on a long, uninterrupted discussion. You will most likely be better off having this conversation at home in your living room than in a public setting such as a restaurant or cafe. Try not to choose a time when your spouse is already stressed, such as right after he or she gets off of work. You may also want to check with your partner to be sure that the time and place you are considering for this conversation will work for him or her. Try telling your spouse that you have something important that you want to discuss and ask when he or she would like to talk. For example, you might say, "I have something important that I need to talk to you about and I want to make sure that we will have enough time. When would be good for you?" If you've decided to come clean, now is the time for the truth. Even if your partner asks painful questions, complete candidness is necessary. Try to be as straightforward as possible and do not leave out any details. You may think that leaving out some of the details of your affair may be a good idea, but only offering up a partial confession will end up making you feel worse. For example, if you cheated on your partner multiple times, then a partial confession would be telling your spouse that you only cheated once. . While you have a lot to get off your chest, your mate will probably want to say some things as well. Avoid talking over him or her and simply listen. Showing respect for their thoughts and feelings will go a long way towards repairing the relationship. Show that you are listening by leaning towards your partner and maintaining eye contact. Remove all distractions to avoid interruptions. Turn off your phone, TV, laptop, etc. Don't interrupt your partner when he or she is talking. Listen until he or she finishes saying what he or she has to say. Rephrase what your partner has just said to show that you were listening. For example, you can start by saying something like, "If I am understanding correctly, it sounds like you are saying"