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Coping skills are ways that you can feel better or deal with a situation more effectively. Having more coping skills to reduce feeling overwhelmed or out of control is associated with a better outcome for individuals who have survived abusive situations. Coping skills can be fun and entertaining such as: listening to music, watching movies, and playing games or sports. Reduce the intensity of your emotions, discharge your feelings, divide them into manageable parts, or get outside support. Some specific coping skills for dealing with feelings include: writing them down, using art to express them, and exercising to release tension in the body. Pretend your abuser is sitting in a chair and say what you want to say. Yell, scream, curse -- let it all out. Write a letter of confrontation to your abuser. You do not need to send it but this may help you process and work through some of your feelings. Relaxation techniques have been linked to lowered stress levels. Progressive muscle relaxation is one technique where you progressively tense and relax different muscle groups throughout your body until you become relaxed. Start with tensing your toes for 5 seconds, then relax them for10- 30 seconds. Then move slowly up your body all the way to the top of you head (from toes, to feet, to legs, and so on). Deep breathing is another option where you simply breathe deeply through your nose, and breathe out through your mouth. Pay attention to your breathing and when you get distracted return to thinking only about your breathing. Some strategies that are unhelpful in the long-term include: blaming the self, minimizing the abuse (saying or thinking it was not that bad), denial, and rationalizing (thinking that the abuse was normal or okay). Focus on what you can control instead of what you cannot control. Focus on your own goals such as doing well in school or learning how to play a sport or instrument. Focus on your own hopes and dreams. Think about what you want to become and start getting information about it or working toward it.
Understand coping. Deal with your feelings. Use relaxation techniques, mindfulness, or meditation. Identify unhelpful coping strategies and limit them. Work on controlling other parts of your life.