Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: Lousy service, food is ok IF they have what you want. I showed up today, wooed to go here by the description of the Ham & Cheese fritters. So, arriving 10 minutes after they opened at 8 - they were out. No "sorry" - just "we don't have it, but it's on the list to be made." Good to know. Maybe one of the two cooks on break or the cook who kept running back and forth to the bathroom texting on could have made some. I got something else (only because the counter girl made me feel uncomfortable, becuase I was taking too long thinking about a plan B) - it was ok. Service was mediocre - counter girl just set on our empty drink cups on the counter, forcing us to reach inside their stupid window while she watched. The maintenance guy (after a good 30 minute BS session with another maintenance guy) proceeded to stink up the outside (how hard is to stink up the outside?) using ridiculous amounts of stainless steel polish. I was visiting friends, who said they don't go becuase it is always crowded. Every time we drove by this week, the parking lot was empty. 10 minutes after open - you are already out of stuff for the after-church breakfast crowd - now I see why. Most TV stars make it becuase they are great actors - this TV star acts like a great restaurant - but really - I would pass. Stick to farming, Joe. EDIT - I was contacted by their General Manager within hours of this review being posted. That is some quick response, and he seemed genuine in making things right. It does not change what the visit was like, but I will give them another star for the effort to fix things so quickly.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: First world problem: Oh no! My filet mignon is too tough and lacks any depth in flavor. (Silently pouts) Trying not to be a typical LA food snob, but it's hard not to when you're dropping serious money and expecting at least a 9 out of 10 foodie experience but instead you're getting a 3. We get to the palms at 7 pm and check out their menu outside their restaurant. We walk into a mostly empty restaurant and we're escorted to a booth in the back. Along the way, I notice a lot of celebrity caricatures lined the walls and above their bar which suggests to me that a lot of celebrities come here to eat. So I think we should be in for a treat. For the appetizer we ordered fried calamaris. And for our main entree, I ordered a 14 oz medium rare filet mignon with creamed spinach. My wife ordered a sauteed Chilean sea bass. First, the assortment of cold bread comes out. I know I don't go there for the bread but not having warm bread on the table as the first thing is a little off putting. The least the Palms can do is pretend it's fresh by nuking it in the microwave. Our fried calamaris came out on a huge plate and could have easily fed at least four or five people. We were hungry so we dove in. The calamaris itself was properly fried and not too oily and the tomato sauce had a good tartness to it. However, after a few pieces we kept finding fried bell peppers mixed in with the calamaris. Since the bell peppers were thinly cut, breaded, and fried they looked like a tentacle. Maybe the chef didn't feel the need to use a clean mixing bowl when breading the calamaris but that resulted in bell pepper booby traps laced across the dish. My filet mignon and creamed spinach arrive and the caveman in me was craving for some bloody meat. The thick filet mignon was seared nicely but when I took a bite, the texture wasn't very tender and tougher than expected for dry aged beef. Additionally, the meat was completely void of any flavor which calls into question their minimum 35 dry aging process. I was expecting stronger beefy flavor notes from the ageing but all I tasted was the age. The creamed spinach was okay but I was so supremely disappointed with the meat that I lacked the appetite to finish the sad slab of meat. As for the chillian sea bass, it was easily the largest cut I've seen at a restaurant. The added benefit of chillian sea bass is that you don't need to do much and this fish should still stands on its own. However, when my wife took a bite, the sad puppy dog eyes on her face said it all. The sea bass was perfectly cooked but the only flavor this had was from the mild salt of the waters it was caught from. It's true that you don't need to do much for this fish, but you can't just pull it out of the sea and add zero seasoning to it either. However we are partly to blame for this disaster because we broke the sacred rule to never order seafood at a steakhouse. Our server noticed our dissatisfaction and did refund the creamed spinach and calamaris. But at the end of the day, I still dropped more than $100 on an uninspired dinner that still left me hungry/hangry when we left. Clearly this place attempts to pass itself off as a legit steakhouse but like it's characatures on its walls, what they feature was greatly exaggerated.

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?
An example of an positive review: My friends and I loved the parlor from the moment we walked in the door. The whole restaurant is amazing but some of my favorite things were the raised vegetable garden next to the front door, the bar with beauty parlor chairs, and the "men" and "women" cutouts in the bathroom door. Aside from being pretty the parlor serves up good food too! I ordered the pizza of the day, which was an amazing combination of peaches and pruchuitto. My friends and I also shared a cesar salad and a yummy cheesy cauliflower appetizer. Our service was just right. I will go back again.