Problem: Article: Learning to say "no" is an important skill for empaths like you. You might become so enmeshed with others that you give and give until you are empty. Prevent this by identifying your limitations and verbalizing them in your relationships. For instance, you might need to tell a friend or family member, "I need you to respect my personal space. Please don't show up at my apartment unannounced." You might tell an energy-drainer, "I would love to have lunch with you, but let's not spend the entire time dwelling on the negatives. If we can't keep it positive, I'll have to pass." Setting boundaries, especially with people you care about, can be tough. However, don't feel bad about it. Having good boundaries is vital to your emotional health. Take an inventory of the people in your life: do they drain or invigorate you? Determine where they stand by assessing how you feel when they leave you. If you feel desperate for a nap, cranky or irritable, demeaned, or anxious after an encounter, stop spending as much time with these people. Instead, devote your time and energy to people who leave you feeling mentally and emotionally stimulated, positive, and upbeat. If you must be around energy-drainers, or emotional vampires, practice self-care before and after the encounter. Plus, keep the interaction as brief as possible. Empaths are typically introverted by nature, which means you are more fulfilled by time alone or with a few others. You might feel overwhelmed and drained by large groups, so stick to social encounters that involve one-on-one or small group meetings. You're probably a great listener, and everyone tells you so. As an empath, however, you might not only listen to someone's problemyou might shoulder it as your own. Be aware of your tendency to do this and make a conscious effort to listen without internalizing the problem or trying to fix it. To help you do this, you might have to repeat an affirmation silently, like "I can help by listening. It is not my job to fix or change anything." A wonderful way to share your gifts in an emotionally safe way is through volunteerism. Identify a cause that moves you and find out how you can get involved. This might translate to making calls to support a politician in your area, donating money to a charitable organization, or working at a shelter a few hours each week. While volunteering can be healthy and empowering, be careful not to put too much on your plate. If you don't have the emotional or physical energy to volunteer, engage with your emotions by reading or doing creative activities instead.
Summary: Know your limitations and set boundaries accordingly. Spend time with energizers instead of energy-drainers. Say "yes" to intimate gatherings. Listen, but don't attempt to fix things for others. Give your time to an important cause.

Problem: Article: It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, "Ugh, life sucks and it's raining." Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out. You can't do that! Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop yourself you have the power to say "Stop. Enough." and not finish the thought. Divert your attention elsewhere. Especially if you're thinking about your motivation! This task in front of you? It's doable and you have the abilities to do it. Any other thinking will keep you from even trying. Try reframing things in a positive way. Instead of being upset that it's raining and you can't go outside, try to look at the rain from a positive perspective. For instance, maybe it's been dry and the land really needs the rain. You might think, "Well, now I don't have to water my yard!" or, "This is a good opportunity for me slow down, relax, and stay in and read a book." With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you. If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task. Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do? Exactly. You won't. To get started, count your successes. What do you have going for you? What have you done in the past that was awesome? What resources do you have at your disposal? Think of all the things you've achieved in the past. For what reason would you not be able to achieve what you want now?! You've done similar things before. When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, "You got to be hungry!" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it. You can't imagine a life without it. Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere. Want it. If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself? Sometimes it involves a little twisting to convince yourself that you want it. Struggling getting to work? Well, is that a path to anything else? If you've been really hankering for a vacation to Hawaii, think about it like that. You really, really want to get to Hawaii -- and working will get you there. It's a lot easier to do something you don't want to do when you have a purpose in mind -- a purpose that you're hungry for. It's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way. Being a perfectionist about yourself will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up. There will be times when you fail. You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will. Your failures or setbacks have nothing to do with you and everything to do with being human. They happen. Sometimes they'll happen because of you (not every decision can be stellar), but sometimes they'll happen because of circumstances that are beyond your control. Going into this with a level head will benefit you greatly in the end.
Summary: Get positive. Get confident. Get hungry. Know setbacks will happen.

Problem: Article: It is often hard to see past the pleasure and excitement of an affair. People who cheat are often plagued with guilt. This guilt can have a severe impact on your life and how you treat your family members. Often, the guilt can even lead to other issues like depression, anxiety, and paranoia that your wife is cheating. Your new partner might also deal with guilt. An extramarital affair is usually a very surface level love. Eventually, you or your lover will want more out of the relationship. This will either take your affair to an even greater level of complexity or it will end the affair. There is also a chance that the guilt will drive the other person to confess the affair to your wife or someone else. Consider what you would do if your new partner said they wanted more and were telling your wife whether you wanted them to or not. Keep in mind that, depending upon the circumstances of your affair, there may be a risk of getting your lover pregnant. Consider this risk carefully. If you already have a family, this could mean that you would be juggling two families. If you are not interested in having a child with your lover (and pregnancy is a possibility), use proper protection. Realize that you could contract an STD and pass that along to your wife. Many people cheat on their wives as an escape from rough patches in the marriage. This might feel good at the time, but it will not fix the problems in the long run. When the affair ends, you will still be faced with the same marital problems as before, except now they will be compounded with the problems created by the affair.
Summary:
Imagine how you will feel after the affair. Remember that there is at least one other person involved. Consider the risks involved in your affair. Realize that your affair will not solve your marital problems.