Build a movie plot around this: What squirts Chet in the face when he looks at the money? Blue dye
The film opens with a beat-up old blue Mustang flying through the air, as its driver launches it at high-speed through a neighborhood in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) works for Vito's Pizza, which has a strict 30-minutes-or-less delivery policy... which means either Nick makes it to the customer's door in half an hour or he has to pay for the pizza himself. There's a timer in the shape of a tiny, stereotypical Italian chef ticking away on his dashboard as Nick races through Grand Rapids, his stereo blaring, past kids playing in parks and other people trying to go about their days with this madman driving on the roads. Nick makes it to his destination, two towns away from Vito's Pizza, in 34 minutes... four minutes late. Two stoned teenagers answer the door, proud of themselves for gaming the system and getting another pizza free. Nick confronts them, telling them the pie's going to come out of his own pocket, but they don't care. "That's why we order your crappy pizza", they say, "because you can't ever get here in time". Nick decides to scam the scammers by telling them he can get them beer if they give him the money their mom gave them for the pizza. The kids have no idea what they are doing, but think it would be cool to have beer, and Nick tells asks them, "You like O'Doules, right?". Clueless, the kids say, "Hell yah, we're totally down with that shit".Nick is dejected with his life and heads home, where he drinks real beer (not O'Doules) on his porch waiting for his friend Chet (Aziz Ansari) to get home from a date. Chet's actually sitting in a parked car outside, where his date is performing oral sex on him from the passenger seat. She finishes what she's doing and then quickly moves to kiss him, in a gross-out scene where Chet "tastes himself", as Nick (who has been watching) puts it later. "Do you want some beer to wash the taste of yourself out of your mouth?", Nick asks Chet when he finally walks over. Nick is a big movie fan and has DVDs of the Lethal Weapon series for Chet and...