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Sometimes, taking a break from sex can be a good way to address your sexual disorder. Instead of worrying about sex, you and your partner can focus on emotional intimacy. Many sexual disorders occur because of various emotions or stressors that end up affecting the couple's sex life. Focusing on the relationship can help you strengthen your connection, which can lead to improved sex. For example, you may want to go for walks together, go to dinner, or do other activities. You may want to spend an entire evening talking to one another. You also may want to spend time touching in non-sexual ways, such as holding hands, holding one another, and kissing for the sake of kissing. You may have relationship problems because of the sexual disorder. You and your partner may have had some misunderstandings because of your actions, and you may have developed trust issues. There may be outside stressors that are affecting your relationship. You should work on these issues with your partner to move your relationship past this small bump in the road. Clearing up relationship problems can help lead the way to improved sex. Removing miscommunication, anxieties, and any underlying anger or feelings of resentment can make it easier to feel closer and intimate with your partner. You may decide to go see a sex therapist or couples counselor. Going to see a therapist or counselor doesn't mean that something is wrong with your relationship. Sexual disorders can cause a strain on both partners and the relationship. A sex therapist may help you learn how to build intimacy and work on techniques to address the disorder, while a couples counselor may be able to help you work through any relationship issues that have arisen due to the disorder. If your partner suggests going to counseling, don't get angry. See it as a way your partner is trying to support you and work on your relationship. Don't get discouraged if you want to go to counseling but your partner doesn't. You can search the internet for certified sex therapists and couples counselors in your area. You may also talk to your doctor or specialists about a referral. One way you can help boost your sexual function is to spend more time focusing on foreplay instead of heading straight for intercourse. Foreplay helps both partners enjoy the experience more. Foreplay can help a woman feel aroused and help a man get an erection. Foreplay includes a lot of different things. Take time to explore each other's bodies and focus on your partner's pleasure. Don't rush towards orgasm. Slow down the sexual experience, which can help you overcome your sexual disorder. During foreplay, you may want to use your hands and your mouth. Try touching different parts of the body, not just the penis or vagina. Make the foreplay experience an emotionally intimate experience as well as a physical one. Lack of stimulation before intercourse can lead to problems such as a reduced level of arousal, inability to get or hold an erection, lack of lubrication, and inability to reach orgasm. Some people may need some sort of stimulation for up to an hour before they are ready for intercourse. Due to your sexual disorder, you and your partner may need some extra help. That's fine. For women who have trouble with lubrication or painful sex, consider using lubricants or vaginal creams to help with dryness. Use toys to help enhance your sexual experience. Sexual toys may help increase stimulation during foreplay. You can use vibrating toys to stimulate the clitoris to help with female arousal problems, while the vibration may help a man get and maintain an erection. You may also want to try an erotic video or erotic literature. Watch the video together or read the literature to each other to help increase your physical and emotional intimacy. Some people have never been open or honest about what they like during sex. Take this time to tell your partner what you like or don't like during sex. Talk about things you'd like to try and experiment with. Try to be as specific as possible for your partner. Consider showing your partner what you like, or walking him or her through what to do for you. Men who experience erectile problems or women who have trouble getting aroused may need more manual stimulation than his or her partner. Tell your partner that you need this so he or she knows how to help you during sex. Remember to keep your words focused on your and not your partner. Don't accuse your partner of not satisfying you. Instead, say things like, "I really like when you touch my hair" or "My breasts are really sensitive. I would like you to touch them more." Sometimes, couples get in a rut. They just do the same thing, and that doesn't lead to arousal or desire anymore. If this is the case for you and your partner, try experimenting. You may want to try different positions, participate in role play, or share fantasies that you both can act out. For women who experience pain during sex, trying new positions may help make intercourse a more pleasurable experience. For example, try being on top so you can control the movement and position. When talking about role play or fantasies, make sure to remember that each partner may not feel comfortable with everything. You want to try new things your partner wants to try, but don't feel bad if there are things your partner suggests that you are not willing to do. Find a compromise on both sides where you both willingly engage in situations and fantasies your partner wants to try while still being comfortable.
Focus on intimacy. Work on any relationship problems. Try going to therapy together. Spend time experiencing foreplay. Bring extra products into the bedroom. Tell your partner what you like or need. Experiment during sex.