Input: What would be an example of an negative review?

An example of an negative review: The service here is lacking. The food is below par at best. I can honestly say this place should be avoided.

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: This place is sweet, I highly recommend it. When you walk in the door be sure to look down at the floor because you're standing on a fish tank - pretty cool. The decor is very trendy and the atmosphere is chill. We had a drink at the bar on a Weds. night before heading out to the patio for dinner - not overly crowded which was nice. The sushi was delicious - quality pieces and very fresh. My only complaint was the bathroom sink - while very cool looking, the faucets don't work unless you slam the handle in and then the water just sprays out sporadically. This was a little messy but the rest of the experience was great.

Input: What would be an example of an positive review?

An example of an positive review: Great Happy hour with cheap drinks and cheap food. Happy Hour is every day from 4pm-8pm and 12am-4am. During this time all drinks are half off and all pizzas are half off. It is a local's bar complete with video poker, tv's showing sports, and pool tables. They have a nice menu and sometimes will run promotions like discount on food when a football game is on. You can order burgers, fries, pizza, wings and other stuff I can't remember from the Menu. My only disappointment is that certain bars have certain drinks. One PT's location I got a Mojito for 3 bucks during happy hour, but at another location they don't make Mojito's. The one on Sahara is the one with awesome mojitos, which I just realized is the one I am doing the review for, made by a bartender who I cannot recall his name but I believe works the early happy hour from Thursday to Sunday. Look him up he is a great and friendly bartender. This is definitely the spot to hit up when you have just had the longest work day ever.

Input: What would be an example of an negative review?
An example of an negative review: There must be something in the water. I'm not saying there's like some Dr. Strangelove Fluoridation conspiracy or anything. It's something less grandiose, something just barely beneath the surface, common and incognito. The Oysters. It has to be the oysters! For whatever reason, which for the life of me I cannot figure out, people in Tempe LOVE THEIR OYSTERS. Particularly the ones served from the local oyster house Casey Moore's. Nestled in the cultural hub of SUNI WOFAR at Ninth and Ash, the constant hum of the poorly aged, the tattooed and perma-service-industried are a testament to the ubiquitous appeal of their oysters. Never has an Irish sea-food joint catering to the left-leaning post-college-dropout been so successful at attracting the faux attractive. Though I admittedly am unfamiliar with what exactly it is that makes "Casey's" oysters stand at the apex of barnacle-cousin potential as the "Field of Dreams Principle"* proves itself true with the emergence of their salt-water invertebrates, I can't shake the feeling that their must be something in water; yes, in the very water that flows in pipes in the wall between "Blarney Stone" and kitchen. The Blarney Stone, for those unaware, is the unique semi-functional hardly sanitary piss-mist filled stall that has a permanently flowing fountain of water and patron-pee on a fake rock wall. It serves as the most practical option as it is about 10 feet wide with a back up moat that creeps about the floor so even the most shy guy doesn't have to worry about rogue droplets outing his poor post-fifth-beer-dribble-and-shake skills. That concoction filtered through SNUS packs and popped zits and dip spit makes its way to the maybe-working drain and from there it goes somewhere, the sewer maybe. BUT NO! It couldn't just go to the sewer, not in place where its urinal is as "unique" as the patrons themselves - that don't at all look like a homogenous crowd of HTC and Cartel social graduates - we can't expect its drainage system to be as middle of the road as your run of the mill bar, no we must expect something grand and unimitatable. So about the theory proposed prior: since oysters in their regular form are certainly not addictive enough to bring all those who fancy their flavor to run back week after week at any other establishment, Casey's must be doing something during the preparation of the shellfish. Remember the five expelled beers per patron and SNUS packs mentioned? Well obviously with alcohol and tobacco, two of the most addictive domestic substances, flowing seemingly infinitely through the veins of the structure, I'm quite sure those post body residual chemicals make their way through some fork in the road piping that runs in from the Blarney Stone and back out through the faucets in the kitchen and is then used to boil the oysters! That's what brings them back every Friday and Saturday night! Those literally addictive oysters! Because obviously nobody in their right non-addicted mind would ever fight tooth and nail, or stand uncomfortably up to thirty minutes, for a table where your knees bonk all the wrong people. But if you're looking to fuck a skateboarder, you've found the right bar. Vegans: They put Parmesan cheese on their fries so if that's your go to bar snack make sure and order them plain. Also I've gotten conflicting reports from servers about the veggie burgers being vegan or not. They might have egg in the buns. *Remember: "If you build it, they will come"? I'm sure something along the unfunny lines of "If you boil them, they will come" applies here.