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How to fake pink eye
Dry your eyes out.
When eyes aren't getting enough moisture, they can get irritated and red. By simply trying to blink as little as possible for about 30 minutes, your eyes will start to become irritated because they aren't being properly lubricated.
You can expedite the process by sitting in front of a fan and trying not to blink, so they'll dry out faster. But remember! We blink for a reason: to protect our eyes.