Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: Sadly this place got me sick.. not once but twice. I decided to try it one more time more than a year later and of course I get sick again. Not sure from what particular thing that I ate. I'm disappointed because their food used to be great but now not so much. Not going back again.

Input: .
Generate a positive review for a place
Output: Wow. WOW. WoW! wOw! w0w! WOWZERZ! woooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Any way you say it, Wow is the first word that comes to mind with this place. Sure, the parking lot always said "MUG ME", but after my dinner tonight at Portofino's on Eastway, I'll never look at this shopping center the same. Came in around 6:30 on Saturday and this place was jumpin! Lots of couples, and a few families, we were seated immediately and started off with the Capri - buff.mozz, tomatoes, basil, mushrooms, roasted red peppers and oil/vin/spices. Everything was great, the portion was definitely big enough to split between 4 (there were only 2 of us), and the homemade bread that came out with it.... ohhhh madre, it was excellent. Everything was fresh and well seasoned. I chose to go with the Mediterrano (w/ the pink sauce and Capelinni) due to the other reviews about it and whoa - 5 stars! Light, flavorful and multi-leveled, the pink sauce was just as good as my Nana's and I've never been able to compare her to anyone! My date went with the Scilian pizza with sausage and onions. $14.00 for the biggest pizza I have seen in recent memory. He loved it, and we've got the left overs so I'm excited to try it tomorrow (I was too busy making "MMMM" sounds to my pasta to try his pizza). The grand finale left me speechless: THE CANOLI. We ordered 1 each and I swear I could have eaten 15. Filled completely through, sprinkled with powdered sugar and cocao, this canoli was a gift from the gods. I can't remember the last time I had a canoli this good was, and it makes me want to never try anywhere else's canolis because this was just the tip top of the mountain and nothing else is going to ever compare. I'm serious. I'M SERIOUS FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY - this canoli was just amazing. Service was great, speedy and kind. Parking is easy, abeit a little rough looking. Portofino's, I love you and I love you even more since you're a few blocks from my home. If I ever sell, I will be sure to note you in my ads as a "plus" to homeownership around here! :)

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output: It's kinda tricky to properly rate & review this place since we had a comedy of errors with this first trip. Getting in the doors is a tad awkward because they have a very tiny lobby and then another set of doors that just seem out of place for a restaurant located in a strip-shop. I banged myself pretty good going in...ya had to be there! My wife nearly tripped over a chair on our way to the booth. We ordered a pitcher of beer off the menu only to be told they don't serve draft. My wife ordered a mango margarita only to be told they were out of the mango. She ordered a peach one and when it came to the table, the glass split but didn't totally bust open. Weird. Was this an omen? The replacement one was very good. After all of that settled down, it was on to the meal. Chips & salsa were pretty good. I prefer having at least a couple of different salsas to dip but their's was probably the perfect spiciness. I wish it were a tad chunkier. Chips were good and salty. We got the Gringo Dip app which was a cheese dip covered in ground beef. Fresh diced jalapenos on the side. Ok, I love jalapenos but something about when they're fresh...it just really kills my stomach...but I gotta eat them. App was okay..needed more zing. Dinner consisted of nachos for the prince, Alabres for the king, and Grande Special Dinner for the queen. Nachos were standard fair. Can't really screw them up. Alambes were chicken & steak fajitas covered in cheese sauce in a hot skillet. They had a good flavor but the meats were overcooked. Steak had a lot of fat & gristle. The Grande Special dinner was kind of a world tour of the place so we could all sample different things. It consisted of a taco, chalupa, chille relleno, burrito, and a cheese enchilada. All of the foods tasted fine..some bordering on "just okay" but we've definitely had better elsewhere. I would return to this place but there are so many better ones that I would go to first. Still, I think it's only fair to give them another try....maybe lunch someday. They have some pretty good deals. Your pal, Walter

Input: .
Generate a negative review for a place
Output:
Very disappointed with our experience at this salon. My friend and I had a groupon for an ultimate pedi/ and gel manicure. We heard from the guy (assuming the owner) how the groupon wasn't for what we paid and he never got a copy of the groupon before it was posted to proof it.. but he would honor it anyway. We did not fully get the ultimate massage; received hot stones but no scrub which the coupon indicated. My friend only got a massage on one leg and not the other. Coming up to a week later, my toes have already chipped (maybe I'm spoiled and used to better quality pedis that usually last me a month) and my gels started coming off on Friday. I think I'll stick with my original salon.. I gave them two stars because at least the staff was friendly and spoke enough English to be able to have conversations with us. PS owner guy- it's not our problem you didn't get a proof of the groupon before it was submitted! Groupon did refund my friend for one of her groupons at least (She bought two of them).