TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: in some regards , making a movie is like trying to stretch a rubber band as far as you can without breaking it .
try too hard , and it snaps ; but too much reservation means someone else will come along and pull it farther .
in simon birch , director mark steven johnson shows us just how to master the technique
: he takes advantage of caution and poise , but also risks his movie with a few bold steps .
in the end , he 's not only holding an unbroken band , but
he makes the audience appreciate the lengths he went to direct such a fine feature .
there 's no doubt about it : the film that johnson has crafted is rich .
he chooses for his setting the quaint town of gravestown , maine - leaves turn bright orange in the fall , the grass is a lush green , pure white snow falls in the winter , and the sky goes on forever .
the characters continue that turn : our two leads are simon birch ( ian michael smith ) and joe wenteworth ( joseph mazzello ) .
simon is the smallest baby ever born within the records of the local hospital , and by age twelve he 's only two feet tall .
joe is the bastard son of rebecca ( ashley judd ) , and by age twelve he 's ready to know who is father
is .
naturally , the two outcasts become good friends and share many adventures together , from disrupting sunday school to doing community service to playing little league baseball .
in a wonderfully executed performance by ian michael smith , simon birch is convinced that he 's god 's instrument , and there must be a reason he 's so small .
joe does n't quite buy it , but he sticks by simon ; the two tough it out through the worst of times and are each other 's only true friends .
early on , the two meet up with ben goodrich ( oliver platt ) , rebecca 's new boyfriend , and although the bond is n't immediate , ben and the two boys develop a liking for each other . both platt and judd give solid performances that lend their characters a deep likeability
.
the audience cares about them as much as they do about joe and simon , a testament to the acting jobs of both .
finally , jim carrey gives a cameo as the adult joe in the present day , and his few minutes here are relatively more impressive than his entire performance in the truman show .
mark steven johnson 's sense of drama and writing is fantastic
.
the script is loosely based on john irving 's novel , a prayer for owen meany , but it 's so far off the source material that irving actually requested the credits be changed from ' based on ' to ' suggested by . ' along those same lines , it 's almost unfitting to compare the two ; johnson uses tension , humor , atmosphere , and suspense to create an original drama of forrest gumpian proportions .
by no means has he developed a project of similar popularity - gump made over 300 million dollars while birch ought to pass out of sight in a few weeks - but the winning idea remains the same .
simon birch is a different look at a different life , and one that will most likely be studied in film school classes in decades to come
.
in the present , however , it 's an enjoyable little picture that everyone ought to take a look at .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: as a revolutionary war hero in the patriot , mel gibson provides another macho man performance for hollywood audiences .
you know the type : his shirt is always shredded , his face always scarred , he has a soft spot for his loved ones and a " to kill " list for his enemies .
oscar - hungry director / executive producer roland
emmerich did not intend to , but he made the stereotypical action hero for the 18th century .
as gibson delivers lines like , " before this war is over , i am going to kill you , " schwarzenegger in commando or stallone in cobra immediately come to mind .
oddly enough , the patriot is as much an epic three - hour - tear - fest like gladiator , as
it is a ninety - minute guilty pleasure .
at times absorbing , at others enjoyably insipid , this is good , bloody summer fun .
i probably would have despised this film had it not been released over the july 4th weekend .
some of the images are so zealously americanized ( the flag is used as a lifesaving weapon for example ) , that independence day seems the only appropriate time of year to wholeheartedly accept it .
like emmerich 's id4 , this is obvious propaganda where the americans are the hapless underdogs motivated by freedom for all .
sure it 's predictable and melodramatic , but for a moment after leaving the theater , i was dumbfounded with patriotism .
and is n't that the point of the patriot ?
gibson plays benjamin martin , the lionized french and indian war veteran , who , at the beginning of the film , is emotionally suffering after his loving wife passed away .
he is left to father seven children at his south carolina estate along with black servants ( not slaves ! ) . as the revolutionary war rumbles miles away , martin swears to keep his family close and away from the battlefields .
but when the oldest son enlists anyway and another is murdered by a wicked redcoat colonel ( jason isaacs ) , martin quickly decides to save the day ( or save the fate of america as presented by emmerich ) .
forming a band of aggressive farmers and using guerilla tactics considered unfair in the art of war , martin becomes the number one target of the british army .
the best parts of the patriot are the scenes in which martin and his rugged militia men outsmart the british armies left and right .
every time the farmers attacked the unsuspecting enemy , to see the disbelief on british general cornwallis ' ( tom wilkinson ) face was priceless entertainment .
and as the tension gradually formulates with the running time , a final battle is inevitable .
as for the numerous battle scenes , they are expertly done . clearer and more realistic
than those of gladiator , the gruesome images are what give this film an r rating .
you really get a sense of how warfare was performed during that time period .
everything is performed in an orderly ( but still quite gory ) fashion - one side shoots , then the other side , then the remaining soldiers charge .
it 's organized , strategic and , according to martin , ineffective .
there is a very interesting contrast between the traditional battle style and martin 's take - no - prisoners method .
what drives martin to these supposedly unfair actions , are the originally brutal tactics of colonel tavington . played wonderfully by jason isaacs , tavington is the type who loves to glare down from his horse at civilians , who nervously avoid eye contact .
this character is viciously evil ; he kills women and children and then laughs about it on the way home ; even his eyes are evil .
his portrayal has sparked some controversy in britain , some claim that he falsely represents his countrymen as " cowardly " and " sadistic .
"
i disagree with this accusation .
tavington does not represent his country ; his unnecessary executions shock his own colleagues and even anger his general .
besides tavington , the redcoats remain stick figures that are neither glorified nor patronized . and stick figures make the easiest enemies in these kinds of movies - why give the audience a reason to love the bad guys ?
heck , why not spend the entire film glossing up the good guys ?
the patriot is three hours of fictional fireworks .
with an action hero seeking revenge and a comic book villain ready to take him down , it 's a lethal weapon for the colonial times .
god bless america !
and god bless the patriot !

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: i still ca n't figure out why people went in droves to see this movie .
now before you go assuming i 'm some sort of high brow snob , who ca n't appreciate a little dumb humor , let me say that i love cheap humor .
i thought there 's something about mary was one of the funniest films that i have ever seen and it was certainly one of the best films of 1998 .
low brow adolescent humor can be a lot of fun , the problem with the waterboy is that it is just low brow and adolescent , there is no humor component .
i wanted to like the waterboy , i really did .
i think i only laughed maybe 2 or 3 times throughout the entire movie .
actually , i smiled a couple of more times on top of that .
not a great record for a 90-minute film .
the problem with the waterboy is the same as most other adam sandler movies .
those responsible for this mess seem to think that the sheer fact that sandler walks around using a goofy voice and playing dumb the entire movie is a substitute for actual funny material .
nothing could be further from the truth , as matter of fact , sandler 's idiot voice started to get on my nerves at points in this film .
it 's really a shame too , because this film had the potential to be very funny .
i personally believe that sandler is probably a very talented comedian , it 's just that so far he has n't been able to find the right film to showcase his talents .
if his only talent is making goofy voices and playing morons , my guess is that his career in the movies will go down the same road as the vast majority of the former stars of saturday night live .
most of whom are now happily no longer in the entertainment industry .
sandler plays a 31-year - old , somewhat mentally challenged , waterboy for a college football team .
the team 's somewhat mentally disturbed coach ( henry winkler ) realizes that his waterboy has a great deal of pent - up rage , which , if harnessed properly , would make him a force to be reckoned with on the football field .
you can figure out the rest from here .
sandler joins the team and this once lowly waterboy becomes a football star .
as i said , the film had a great deal of potential .
the idea was a decent one , but the main potential of this movie is a result of the cast .
all of whom are very good , just hamstrung by really , really , lousy material .
even sandler , annoying goofy voice and all , has enough charisma and natural comedic ability to overcome some of his bad material .
even as unfunny as his character is , i still found myself rooting for him throughout the film .
but it is the supporting cast that i feel most badly about .
if their material had been just a bit better , this film could have been such a funny movie .
fairuza balk plays sandler 's leather - wearing biker - chick love interest and does a great job playing sleazy and sexy at the same time .
winkler is great as the coach who uses a " coaching for dummies " -style book to help him get through games .
the real standout though , is kathy bates .
even with some of the worst material of her career to deal with , she is still a treat to watch in her role as sandler 's overprotective and overbearing mama .
even with the performances of bates and winkler , there is absolutely no way i would recommend this movie .
although i get the distinct impression that without them , this film would have ranked in negative numbers for me .
which is sad , because i ca n't really put my finger on a particular element of the movie and single it out as the cause of the disaster that it became .
it 's obvious that those involved , specifically the actors , tried very hard to make what they thought was going to be a funny movie .
it 's just too bad that 99 percent of all of the jokes fell flat .

SOLUTION:
N