Article: When you're used to being in a leadership role, it can be excruciating to step aside and wait for someone else to step up, and even more torturous to watch them fumble at a task that you can accomplish so quickly and easily. But what's the rush? Will it really be the end of the world if things don't go as smoothly as planned? Relax. Take a deep breath. Wait. You'll find that if you just have patience, everything will get done without you having to fight for it. If others sense that you're being impatient, they'll be much more likely to rush and not to get the job done as well as you'd like. There's a difference between applying gentle pressure and stressing people out. Give people manageable deadlines that they can work with instead of asking for everything to be done in a ridiculously short time frame. Sometimes we're bossy because we want things done right, and there's nothing wrong with striving for a job well done. However, there's more than one way to achieve a good result, and just because your way is the most efficient to get from Point A to Point B doesn't mean it's the best way. By assuming your way is the best way, you lock out the creativity of others, and you also chip away at morale. Perfectionism can actually impede excellence, because it creates a fear of making mistakes, and the possibility of making mistakes is essential for good work. If you're really having a hard time doing this, tell yourself that being a perfectionist is actually imperfect. Perfectionism is a paradox that prevents you from doing your best work. Say to yourself "Life isn't perfect and that's okay." Many bossy people focus their attention on incompetence, and they fail to notice potential and progress. Try to be more alert to people's individual talents. Give positive feedback. Positive feedback is psychologically fulfilling and will motivate people far more than nitpicking about their performance. If you notice that a person is doing well and are impressed with the work that person is putting in, then you should praise that person for a job well done. Letting a person know that you're not only looking out for the negatives can help you build a strong relationship and will also help you be less bossy. Be specific about what they've done well so they know you're paying attention. For example, if you work in retail you can say "I saw how you handled that conflict with the customer. That was really well done!" Many times it's not what you say that comes off as bossy, it's how you say it. Your tone, phrasing, and body language can make a person feel like an incompetent cog in a machine, or it can make them feel like you're inviting them to reach a worthwhile goal with you. It's important to pay attention to your timing, your wording, and the examples you use when you try to ask a person to get something done or to offer feedback. The smoother your communication, the more easily you'll be able to get things done without breathing down anyone's neck. Here are a few suggestions for good communication: Focus completely on the person talking. Avoid roaming attention like playing on your phone or staring at the ground. Be consistent with body language. Nonverbal communication says a lot. If you've got your arms crossed and you're frowning, nothing you say will be taken very positively. Take your audience into account. For instance, if you're talking to a child, you probably want your tone of voice to be different than if you're talking at a board room meeting. Keep your approach consistent with who you're talking to. Nothing fosters team-building like consensus-building. You can be a facilitator, ensuring that everyone's opinion is heard, and that a decision is made that is satisfactory to everyone involved. If it's just your way or the highway, then people are much less likely to feel like they are in a supportive, beneficial environment. This kind of collaboration will help people feel included and increase trust in the group. If you're in a group of people, go around in a circle asking each person "Do you have any ideas for the best way we could do this?" Tell people that it's okay to chime in if they have a question or comment. Create an open floor. Before moving on from an issue, make sure everyone is on the same page. If someone doesn't agree, let them know that you appreciate their feedback and hope to hear from them again in the future. You may think that laying down the law is the best way to get things done, but it will actually make people much less happy to work with you. Besides, hearing what everyone has to say can help you find new approaches for getting work done. If you feel like your way of doing things is the only way to get things done, then you'll have a hard time incorporating creative ideas from other people. Ask for it honestly, not simply because it is a good idea or makes a good impression. Explain to people that you know you can come off as bossy or domineering sometimes, and you'd like to change your style. Ask them to let you know when you're coming off as bossy, whether by pulling you aside, or even by sending you an anonymous note or e-mail. Be humble and request their help. This shows that you are eager to grow and that you aren't wedded to your idea of doing things. Use the "SKS" method for getting feedback. Ask these three questions to the people around you: "What should I stop doing?" "What should I keep doing?" "What should I start doing?"
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Be patient. Let go of perfectionism. Encourage people. Improve your communication skills. Strive for consensus. Ask for honest feedback.
Article: Before beginning the process of dating, think about what kind of relationship you want and what kind of person you want to date. Most relationships are best when you start out as friends because it gives you an opportunity to figure out if you are compatible and if the person has the characteristics that you desire in a mate. While some people do not like being single, sometimes you have to think about everything that you have going on in your life and decide whether or not you even need to be in a relationship. If you need to focus on school, work, or family matters, the answer may be no, for the time being. There is nothing wrong with being single. If you are part of the LGBTQ community, you may have a circle of friends that you hang out with, and there is a chance, perhaps just a small chance, that you may already know someone that you want to date in that circle. If this is not the case, you can find a potential boyfriend while going to school, work, and even while traveling. The opportunities are endless. If you meet someone and you know that he has a same-sex preference and you also know that he is public about his sexual preference, then you can be cautiously public about expressing your interest in getting to know him. If you meet someone and you are not sure about his sexual preference, hold off on publically expressing any feelings that you may have towards him because this could create an uncomfortable situation for both of you. There are LGBTQ clubs and organizations that provide a wealth of programs in communities around the world. There are also awareness centers and resources focused on assisting and celebrating the LGBTQ community. Many long-term relationships, and even some marriages, have started with an introduction by a friend or co-worker. Do not be afraid to ask the people from these groups to introduce you to someone. Often, those you spend the most time with know you best and can serve as great matchmakers. You can use social media to get connected and meet new people. While you do not want to be aggressive when sending non-private messages, social media platforms, such as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, can be used to expand your network of acquaintances. The more people you meet, the greater likelihood you have of finding a boyfriend. There are online dating websites that offer a same-sex option, such as OurTime, Match, and Zoosk. As with anywhere else in life, you have to be cautious when meeting people that you do not know. This rule applies if you meet someone at a grocery store or at a nightclub. It applies across the board.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Decide what you want in a relationship. Determine if you truly want a boyfriend. Find a man who is open to a same-sex relationship. Ask your acquaintances to introduce you to someone. Use social media to meet new people. Use online dating websites to meet new people.