Q: Writing your life's story can tell you a lot about who you are as well as how you view your life's challenges, joys, opportunities, and struggles. Writing out your personal story can give you insight into what you have learned through your experiences and how those experiences have affected you. In this way, you can analyze how your experiences helped shape who you are, which encompasses your values, attitudes, beliefs, biases, reactions, and the way you interact with your world. Once you've written the story of your life, analyze yourself by asking the following questions: What are the themes that are present in your story? Are you always being saved or are you the person who saves others? Does your story have a theme of helplessness or ability? Is your story a love story, a comedy, a drama, or something else? If you titled your story, what would the title be? Divide your story into chapters. Why are the chapters divided where they are? What changed? What did you learn? What are the titles of your chapters? Did you label yourself in your story? Did you label others? What do those labels mean to you and what do they say about how you see yourself, others, and the world? What kinds of words do you use to describe yourself, others, and the world? What do these descriptive words tell you about your story and how you lived it? Once you write your story, you need to decide what it means. The interesting thing about writing your own story for analysis, which is called narrative therapy, is that is shows you what you think is important or crucial to your existence. It showcases those moments in your life that you feel are important or worth note. It also shows you how you view yourself and the trajectory of your life so far. For example, if you write your life as a drama, you may feel that your life is more dramatic and intense. If you wrote it as a comedy, you may think your life has been fun and upbeat to this point. If you wrote your life as a love story, maybe you are a hopeless romantic who either has great love or is hoping for one in the future. Even when you have followed all of these steps, you need to realize that it can take time. It is important to understand that becoming more aware of who you are, or analyzing yourself, is also an ongoing, lifelong pursuit. Who you are today or what you believe today may change in the future.
A: Write your story. Analyze your story. Decide what your analysis means. Remember that it takes time.

Q: If you've already decided that they are going to hate you, chances are good that you will feel awkward, anti-social, and down during the date. Whether you know it or not, your date will pick up on this. Similarly, if you already decide you don't like someone, you'll spend the whole date looking for faults and issues with them. Dating is supposed to be fun and casual, so go into each date with your expectations cleared and your head held high. Bring them to somewhere they like or feel comfortable. Mildly crowded restaurants, outdoor events, or small get-togethers are often the best places to go because neither party feels awkward pressure to be romantic or perfect. You will have plenty of time to be romantic. For now, focus on being yourself and having fun. Both parties on a date are trying to find out if they would be compatible together. Finding out if you're a good match with someone is hard enough, but it is near impossible if you spend all your time trying to make someone like you. What's more, putting on a show gives a false impression of you to your date, which will come back to bite you when your act falls apart later in the relationship. While it seems obvious, be yourself. You want someone to like you because of who you are, not who you pretend to be. Good face-to-face conversation is still the best way to get to know someone. Luckily, conversation is something almost anyone can excel at. You don't need a list of topics to have a good conversation, just a willingness to go with the flow and ask questions. Feel free to share things about yourself, but when in doubt about what to say you should ask questions about them. People love to talk about themselves and feel like someone is interested in them. Ask about work, their family, etc, but whatever you do, be genuine. What do you want to know about them? What made you interested in them? The best questions are specific. Instead of "What do you do at work?" try "What do you enjoy about your job?" Don't make your date all about you. If you spend the entire date talking about how great you are, chances are good this will be the last date you go on with them. Avoid controversial topics like religion and politics on your first date. These topics are often incendiary if you don't know the person well enough to be respectful. While this seems tough to determine, the signals are actually pretty obvious. If your date leans in frequently, makes a lot of physical contact (shoulder touching, linking arms, etc.), holds long, strong eye contact, and smiles in your direction, they likely are into you. Start slow, perhaps by giving a compliment or moving in close to their face, and see how they react. If they don't pull away it might be time to go in for a kiss. If you are not interested in continuing to see someone, then politely say goodnight and go home. Do not feel like you need to kiss them or reciprocate feelings you don't share. Casually mention that you'd like to see them again sometime. While you don't have to make plans on the spot, as it can seem a little clingy, say that you'll be in touch and would like to go for drinks. If they smile and agree, then you should try and organize another date in the next 1-3 days. Ignore things like "the 3-day rule" and just be yourself. If you feel a connection, pursue it whenever feels comfortable.
A:
Be open-minded. Make your first date low-key. Know that dates are a way to get to know someone, not a test to impress them. Focus on making conversation during dates. Make a move near the end of the date if you feel a mutual connection. Set up another date if things went well.