input: Write a negative yelp review.
output: The waiter was attentive, but continually gave us new plates, and also referred to me with the awkward pet name of "dear lady". He should have asked if we wanted a beer list- despite my small stature and female body, I usually enjoy a beer when I go out to dinner. He was trying really hard though. Meh. I thought the crust was pretty good, but it was awkwardly sitting on top of a pre-made, thin dough circle that held all the toppings. So although the crust was good, the pizza was hardly structurally sound, flopping around in my hand like a fish. I was happy they offered vegan options, but the tofu didn't have any type of seasoning on it, and the pizza was pretty bland. Meh. The theme is cute, but it sort of comes off with a fake-TGIF kind of vibe. This definitely seems like a place where stupid corporate policies (maybe, for instance, to refer to customers as "dear ladies") are really important to management. Meh. A far as telling my friends to go here... well, I mean it's a new place on mill that doesn't totally suck. And it's one of the few vegan places around. It's also mediocre and a little overpriced. I guess you should go if you are around there anyways. I think one word really sums this place up; Meh. Hence the two stars.
input: Write a positive yelp review.
output: Killer fillet, lamb, and sides. Salad was ok- awesome ambiance, Maurice the piano man makes it fun. Def would go back.
input: Write a negative yelp review.
output:
When I read reviews on foods like bbq or pizza I tend to think I'd have a better idea of what to expect from the food if I had a better idea of the reviewer's preferences and background. So, here's mine... I am not from Texas but I lived in Austin for 12 years and in that time tried just about every reputable bbq joint that came and went within a reasonable distance of there. Standouts include a few of the spots in and around Lockhart - City Market, Kreuz's, Black's, Smitty's, etc. In Austin proper there have been a few come and go, some better than others. To me, brisket is always a good litmus test when trying a new place. Every bbq joint I've been to in the Phoenix area - if they even serve brisket - they tend to serve it... a) only on a sandwich, b) pulled apart and smothered in sauce, c) with the fat mercilessly trimmed off, and d) as part of a combination platter of some sort. In contrast to this, I'm accustomed to being able to buy it by the pound, by itself, with the option of leaving the fat in tact (this is where the flavor is!), the sauce on the side as a mere option, and god forbid it gets slapped on a bun like it's a frikkin maid-rite. My experience tells me that when it's pulled apart, slathered with sauce, and smashed between bread, it's because, on its own, it's dry and lacks tenderness, and this is being masked with 'presentation'. Needless to say, the reviews of Bryan's gave me hope. I looked at the menu online and sure enough they served brisket by the pound. I imagined moist and marbled cuts of beautifully encrusted brisket sliced thick and tender that would jiggle almost like jello on the tray and practically melt in your mouth until the final forkful. I thought about bbq joints in Texas for which people happily waited in lines that wrapped around the block and that closed by 3 o'clock in the afternoon once the day's meat was gone. What I got was... not that. The meat was - how else can I say it? - dull. And dry. It seriously lacked flavor. Thinly sliced and - you guessed it - doused in sauce. It seemed old and reheated. It reminded me of a run of the mill chain that coasts on its reputation and even builds a decent clientele of folks who have no reference point for good meat. I'm at a loss to understand the array of five-star reviews associated with this place. I can only assume it is the result of a bbq-deprived population in the valley many of whom have simply not had the good fortune to have eaten quality bbq that comes out of a thriving and competitive market. If this guy took this stuff to a place where the people knew the difference between meat cranked out like donuts, and quality meats made with heart and soul and patience, he wouldn't last six months without stepping his game way up. If this is what people in Arizona are willing to settle for, this is all we will get. And if, rather than settling, we actually applaud it like it's been dropped down on us from heaven, those of us who know better will have to resort to reminiscing and will most certainly get eyes rolled at us for suggesting how much better it could be. I really don't mean to come off like a snob, but once you've had the real thing, you can spot a corner-cutter like Bryan from miles away. And from miles away you should, as this place is out in the sticks. If anything I say in this review strikes a chord with you, don't waste your time on this. If you're rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself, "What a barbecue snob," well by all means have at it. Ignorance is bliss.