IN: Review: No, this wasn't one of the ten worst films of the 1980's, but it certainly skirts the bottom 100 somewhere. This movie looks like it was put on the shelf for two or three years and then released in 1981. How else would you explain special effects pre-dating "An American Werewolf in London," disco still being considered cool, and Ronald Reagan not being the 40th President of the United States? While we're at it, let's not overlook those 1970's hairstyles in the 1950's and '60's. I've seen more of that here than in "Happy Days" & "Laverne & Shirley" combined.

The one woman who elevates this movie to the "so bad, it's good" category was the late, great Elizabeth Hartman, but just barely. Biff plays as Miss Montgomery, the mousey high school teacher who becomes a sexpot, a stereotype that's been done to death and is still being churned out by Hollywood today, but even as a "hot chick" she retains her mousey qualities. Her call for help is evidence of this. She also looks much better as Miss Wimp. "Seven bucks at the beauty parlor, shot to hell." She wasn't kidding.

This isn't to say that there aren't any good parts elsewhere, they're just few and far between, and I'm not just saying that because I like Hartman. Incidentally, "Teen Wolf" was better than this. "Teen Wolf Too" was better than this, and that wasn't even so good.

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OUT: negative

IN: Review: Two sailors are on leave--ladies man Joseph Brady (Gene Kelly) and shy innocent Clarence Doolittle (Frank Sinatra). They meet beautiful Susan Abbott (Kathryn Grayson) and both fall in love with her. There's more but you've probably guessed it.

The story (even for a 1940s musical) is ridiculous and everything is so nice and wholesome--gets annoying pretty quick. Also this movie is far too long. It's 140 minutes and that's way too much for such a silly story. There are also some boring numbers by Jose Iturbi and his orchestra. Still this is worth catching.

When Kelly is dancing or Sinatra or Grayson are singing this becomes magical. None of the songs are particularly memorable but Sinatra had such a beautiful voice you won't care. It's shot in rich Technicolor with all the gloss MGM had. The acting is OK--Kelly is fine (although seeing him as a ladies man is pushing it) and Sinatra is just great (although seeing HIM as a shy guy was pushing it too!). Grayson is given nothing to do but she's incredibly beautiful to look at. Some shots of her literally took my breath away! There are plenty of highlights here: Sinatra and Kelly's big dancing and singing number; Sinatra singing anything; Grayson's two songs and the justly famous animated sequence in which Kelly dances with Jerry--an animated mouse! Tom does a funny cameo too. Also there's little Dean Stockwell who steals every scene he's in.

So it's too long and the plot just doesn't hold up but it's still worth catching. This was a huge hit in its day.
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OUT: positive

IN: Review: Whoever wrote the screenplay for this movie obviously never consulted any books about Lucille Ball, especially her autobiography. I've never seen so many mistakes in a biopic, ranging from her early years in Celoron and Jamestown to her later years with Desi. I could write a whole list of factual errors, but it would go on for pages. In all, I believe that Lucille Ball is one of those inimitable people who simply cannot be portrayed by anyone other than themselves. If I were Lucie Arnaz and Desi, Jr., I would be irate at how many mistakes were made in this film. The filmmakers tried hard, but the movie seems awfully sloppy to me.
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OUT: negative

IN: Review: Cybil Richards directs another Full Moon/Surrender Cinema masterpiece of erotica. This time Jacqualine Lovell (dressed in rather fetching silver outfit) is tasked with destroying all evidence of sexual activity. However she can't resist watching the tapes and she kinda likes them. The sex scenes are well filmed and set to a superb soundtrack (at least for this sort of film). The cast are largely awful and mainly very average looking too. Jacqueline Lovell is her exceptionally attractive self and between viewing the sex files she manages to expose her chest and fumble a little down below. She also fits in a little lesbian activity. To be honest Lovell deserves so much better than this kind of fare. Here she looks great naked but actually is much more appealing in her silver attire narrating the 'drama'. Utterly rubbish movie with Lovell and soundtrack the only real redeeming features. Mediocre even for Surrender's output and clearly a new budget low for them also.
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negative