Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Bad. Bad. Bad. Those three lines sum up this crappy little film that can only attract idiot children and their parents to the cinema. and its... #1 Movie in America! What is this country thinking? Mike Myers looking more like Micheal Jackson. Some Chineese lady that falls asleep within 3 minutes. A lame plot with dirty jokes. It's grotesuque and awful. When Green-Eggs and Ham comes out in 2005 I'll be so happy! (not) Eddie Murphy and Tracy Morgan will probably play two hipsters trying to find the lost Green-Eggs and Ham. They'll try to chase Sam-I-Am and that mean guy who are running away with it. (I hope they don't ruin the classic book.) Don't waste time and money by seeing this.
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:I am writing this review having watched it several months ago....the trailer looked promising enough for me to buy this lame excuse for a movie. It is a complete joke....and literally a spit in the face of real classics of the early generation of horror like Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) which they even had the gall to compare itself to on the back of the cover art. The producer who played Brandon should go flip burgers and serve up greasy hamburgers....hell he might not even be good at that either! The lighting was bad bad bad and a big annoyance through out the film you couldn't even see the actor's faces sometimes. I don't even remember the rest of the cast members which is sad really, bad they never do anything to impress you to make them memorable. That's all the time I will waste on this review PLEASE stay as far away as you can from this pile of junk even if you get it for 25 cents don't do it buy s piece of gum at least IT would keep you entertained!

If you want good quality low budget fun, far better than this... then check out a Jeff Hayes film....because it takes talent to make it in horror and the kid has it!

I gave this 1 star just for the cover art....thats the only thing worth liking abut this so called "film"

-Rick Blalock
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Whenever I make up a list of the absolute worst movies I've ever seen, this movie is always on it. It has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It took an act of will to sit through the whole thing, and I would sooner spill my own blood than have to sit through it again.

What's wrong with it? Let me tell you the story of my trip to go see it in the theater.

I went to a midnight show, on a Saturday night. I the only ones in the theater were myself, and a bunch of loud, boisterous, rather unruly teenagers, sitting somewhere behind me. They were obviously out having a good time on a Saturday night, and had come to this "comedy" for some laughs. Before the movie starts, during the previews, they were laughing and joking and making loud comments having a grand old time. It was borderline annoying; had they continued their unbridled enthusiasm into the actual movie, I might've said something, but I was feeling tolerant and empathetic of their spirited fun, so I let it go. And they did settle down once the movie started.

Why am I telling you all this? Because you can judge this alleged "comedy" by the effect it had not just on myself, but on this rowdy bunch.

During the entire run of the film, not one person in the theater laughed. Not once. Not myself, not the boisterous kids. Absolute silence, aside from the soundtrack. And when the film was over and the lights came on, we all, all of us, slowly filed out of the theater in slow, somber, absolute silence. It could've been a funeral.

This was the effect that this "comedy" produced. Not laughter, not enjoyment, but absolute DEPRESSION. It was a depressing, depressing movie, and not the tiniest bit funny. Preachy, self-indulgent, depressing, but not funny.

I consider Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles" to be on the short list for Funniest Movie Ever. It still absolutely blows my mind that the same gentleman could be responsible for quite probably the Least Funny Movie Ever.

In short: if you're feeling too happy, give this movie a whirl; otherwise, don't say I didn't warn you.
+++++++++
A: negative

Problem: This review is like what?

Review:Cosimo (Luis Guzman) is told in prison about a perfect heist.Since he's behind bars and can't do it himself he has to leave it to his girl Rosalind (Patricia Clarkson).Soon there are five guys organizing the crime- five guys with very little brain capacity.Brothers Anthony and Joe Russo are the directors of Welcome to Collinwood (2002).It's a crime comedy that's often very funny.You can't help but laughing when everything goes wrong with these guys.There are some great actors playing these characters.William H.Macy plays Riley.Isaiah Washington is Leon.Sam Rockwell is Pero.Michael Jeter is Toto.Andy Davoli is Basil.Gabrielle Union plays his love interest Michelle.Jennifer Esposito plays Pero's love interest Carmela.George Clooney (also producer) plays Jerzy, the tattooed guy in a wheelchair.This is a highly entertaining flick.I certainly recommend it.
+++++++++
A:
positive