Summarize the following:
Expressing disagreement by yelling out "You're SO wrong!" isn't a great way to respectfully disagree. Neither is making it seem that your option is the only one, such as saying "that's a no-brainer." Doing this makes it seem like your opinion is the only one and that others' opinions are irrelevant. Instead, seek to make a "disarming" preliminary statement before you express your own opinion: "Interestingit seems we have different points of view. Do you mind if I explain where I'm coming from?" "Really? I've made different observations, probably because I had different experiences..." "I value your ideas on this matter and I can see why you're concerned about trying a different way. Perhaps we could look at a new approach?" "I just wanted to run a different alternative by you. I'd be happy to give more details if you're interested..." Once you have stated your own opinion, be sure to give the other person room to do the same. This means actively and attentively listening to this person's opinion with respect. The principles of active listening involve: Turning to face the speaker and demonstrating that they have your undivided attention. Refraining from butting in until the speaker has completely finished talking. Encouraging the speaker to continue by nodding or prompting (e.g. "And?"). Restating what you heard to be sure you understand the message (e.g. "So, if I heard you correctly, you are saying" Reflecting the speaker's message in terms of what they seem to be feeling (e.g. "It sounds like this is a serious belief for you."). Sharing feedback in a non-judgmental way about your thoughts on the message. To prevent any disagreeable discussion from escalating into a heated argument, communicate empathetically by stating observations, feelings, needs, and requests in that order. To show empathetic solidarity, consider expressing your understanding of the issue by explaining your own past experience. For example, say something like: "I've been through something similar in the past and I felt just like you do now." Of course, this must be a genuine connection; don't make up anything. When you're in disagreement with someone, it's easy to get caught up in your separate agendas and forget the overall point. In order to reel in a disagreement that is losing its purpose, let the other person know what you both have in common regarding the issue. Doing this brings you back to the discussion table and actually allows you to be on the same side. You can say something like "Let's consider our shared goal. We both want ___. What can we do to be sure that our mutual needs are met? What tools can we use to accomplish this goal?" Be sure to thank the other person for having the courage to express their opinionand pat yourself on the back if you were prompted to disagree. Disagreement means that the person you are dealing with is bringing a different perspective into the mix and offering you a chance to broaden your horizons. It also means that the person values you enough and trusts you enough to voice a difference of opinion in your presence (you might also like to congratulate yourself for fostering such openness). Show appreciation for this person's courage by saying something like: "You know, while I still think we have different approaches, I understand yours a little better now. Thanks for discussing it with me." "I really appreciate that you took the time to clearly explain to me how you see this matter. I hadn't looked at it from this perspective before and it has given me much food for thought. I'll definitely take into consideration the points you raised when I review this now." When you have a quick acronym to call up to your memory, you can jump into effectively resolving disagreements sooner than later. There is a common acronym used in conflict resolution called LEAP. You can use this when you are in the middle of a disagreement and want to resolve it more quickly and effectively. It consists of: L: Listen to the other person's message E: Empathize with the other person's point-of-view; think about where the message is coming from A: Agree with some aspect of the person's message to find common ground P: Partner with the other person to find a mutually beneficial and workable solution
Express disagreement respectfully. Practice active listening. Show empathy towards the other person. Speak to common interests. Acknowledge the courage it takes to disagree. Find easy ways of resolving disagreements.