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Upon arriving to campus, familiarize yourself with the health services on campus. Healthcare on campus is similar to going to the family doctor, but most campuses provide a wider range of health services to students who are transitioning from being a patient to an independent health consumer. Inquire about potentially free or discounted products for incontinence. Chances are the nurses on campus have encountered students with similar issues, so don't feel embarrassed about any questions or issues you may have. If you'd like to avoid having to use a public restroom every day, you may want to request a room with a private bathroom. There is no guarantee that the school will be able to honor your request; however, it's worth asking about. You'll need to involve your doctor from home in the process. School guidelines for submitting such a request vary, so check with them once you've been admitted to see what their policy is. Don't wait until you arrive on campus to make the request. It may be that you feel most comfortable having a space of your own. Again, policies will vary by school, but some require that requests be made yearly for such accommodations. You will also need documentation from your family doctor when submitting the request. Single rooms tend to fill up fast, so make the request early! Consider what living in a single room will mean for your social life. You may also be asked more questions about your medical condition, if you are living alone.

summary: Take advantage of campus health services. Request to have a room with a private bathroom. Inquire about a single dorm.

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Depending on the occasion, a more information or humorous prayer might be just as appropriate as a solemn one. If you're sitting down informally but still want to throw up a thanks, go with a classic rhyming prayer of school cafeterias and summer camps: Example: Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat. Example: Lord, we know without a doubt, you'll bless this food as we pig out. Example: Bless this food before us set, which needs all the help that it can get. If you've just seated yourself at a table with a crew that likes to imbibe, celebrate the spirits with this classic: Example: May your glass be ever full, may the roof over your head be always strong, and may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. Example: When I dream of Heaven, I dream of the past / Surrounded by good friends raising a glass. Eating at an English professor's house? Say grace by quoting everyone's favorite Transcendentalist. His poem "Grace" reads: For each new morning with its light, / For rest and shelter of the night, / For health and food, for love and friends, / For everything Thy goodness sends, / We offer thanks. Amen. Thanks and meals are directly linked in ASL, whose sign for "thanks" involves moving the hand from the mouth forward, displaying a flat palm. This is traditionally used before a meal in place of a blessing, and as an invitation of both thanks and eating. Learning simple blessings from cultures not your own can be an interesting way of offering perspective and gravity to the meal. Some examples: Japanese: itadakimasu (I am receiving) Latin American: To those who have hunger, give bread. To those who have bread, give hunger for justice. Ghanaian: Earth, when I am about to die I will lean on you. While I am alive, I will depend on you. Southeast Asia: This food is the gift of the whole universe. May we be worthy to receive it. May the energy in this food give us the strength to transform our unwholesome qualities into wholesome qualities.

summary: Go with a cafeteria prayer. Offer a drunkard's toast. Quote Emerson. Learn the American Sign Language (ASL) blessing. Use aphorisms from around the world.

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Most people are taught how to acquire things, but very few people are taught how to lose something. Grief is a complex emotion that manifests in different ways. There's no one "right" or "wrong" way to mourn a significant loss, such as the loss of a relationship. Grief is an individual journey. Everyone experiences it differently. Don't rush yourself and don't allow others to rush you through your grief. You may find it helpful to give yourself a "time limit" to grieve. This should not be intended to make you feel guilty about your emotions, but to help you recognize that there is life beyond this loss, and that you'll be okay. There are basic needs that most people have, including the need to love; the need to be loved; and the need to belong. Your ex-boyfriend fulfilled some of your needs, but he is not and will not be the only one with whom you find fulfillment. Did he make you feel pretty? Did he help you feel not so alone in the world? Did he make you laugh? Find an alternative way to meet your needs. Introspection is the process of directly attempting to access your own internal processes. Figure out how and why you react to the people and things around you, and you will be able to help yourself solve many personal struggles. Only you can do the work to answers to these questions. There are some who believe that people come into your life to teach you something. Each experience prepares us to be smarter and more in tune with what we want out of life. Sit down and make a list of the things you learned from your ex-boyfriend. Write about the positive things that happened too. It is easy to only see the negative when you are in the midst of all the pain; but no relationship is all bad. There is a purpose to the ceremonies we follow when something ends. Graduations, funerals, closing ceremonies they all provide an end point. They allow us to get closure, emotional resolve, for something we've been through. Creating a good-bye ceremony will help complete your relationship with the pain. Write a letter to the person, but do not send it. Include all the significant emotional experiences you shared. Thank him for the good times, and the bad. Express the anger. Tell him, "I no longer need the pain that I am feeling so I am giving it back to you. Good-bye." Read the letter out loud to yourself or to a trusted friend or family member, then burn the letter in a safe place. Fire is a form of cleansing and can allow the energy of your turmoil to change. If you decide to allow him back into your life, the emotional work you do will always be worth it. You can use these skills for the rest of your life. It's important to keep things in perspective. No one likes to feel small or diminished or ignored by an ex-boyfriend, or by anyone for that matter. Once you see there is life after a break-up or separation, you will be able to release your feelings of upset and shepherd in feelings of relief. You can let it go and re-frame your priorities. If you try to let something go and it continues to eat at you, then you likely need to process more feelings. This may include talking with a trusted friend or family member, writing, or going for a hike to physically work out your emotions. It can be upsetting if someone tells you to "just let it go" if you haven't reached a level of resolve about the matter. Take a deep breath and say, "I'm working on letting it go, but I'm not there yet." Once you settle into a feeling of balanced perspective, you will see that some things are worth getting upset about, and some are not.
summary: Work the process. Determine the emotional need he fulfilled. Appreciate the positive qualities and learning experiences. Say goodbye. Gain perspective.